Necrophilia: A Beginner's Guide
(FAQ)
 
By Theoderich
(anonymous address)
 
 
 
 
 
 
I: Introduction
 
 
Very few text files have been written regarding the 
sexual tendencies and practices of necrophiliacs. While 
most people would prefer to believe that we do not 
exist-we most certainly do-as is obvious to anyone who 
visits a cemetery during our nightly rampages. 
 
 
Necrophiliacs prefer to go about their business alone; 
sharing is not a part of this alternative lifestyle as 
the corpse usually wears out fairly quickly. This is 
not to say that the occasional orgy involving four or 
five necrophiliacs and about a dozen or so corpses does 
not occur, but it is very rare.
 
 
In this file I will describe common (and some uncommon) 
techniques, which necrophiliacs use to gain 
satisfaction from their stiff partners. Hopefully these 
vivid descriptions will encourage you to go out to your 
local cemetery and to join our ranks!
 
 
 
 
II: Finding a Partner
 
 
Finding a partner for your necrophiliac activities is 
definitely the hardest part. You not only have to gain 
access to the corpse but you also have to find one, 
which suits your tastes. Granted, some necrophiliacs 
would screw road kill if given the chance but most of 
us are more discriminating. Your chances depend upon 
where you pick up your date. 
 
 
If you have access to a morgue it would definitely be 
your best bet as the corpses there are usually the 
freshest and have not yet been treated for burial. They 
may be a bit chilly because they've been lying in the 
meat locker for days but that really shouldn't make a 
big difference to the determined necrophiliac.
 
 
Cemeteries are a bit harder to deal with as finding a 
screwable corpse is harder to do. However, if you know 
how to interpret signs this shouldn't be a problem. If 
a grave consists of a mound of fresh dirt and is 
covered with flowers, chances are that the stiff hasn't 
been lying there for too long.
 
 
Rotting flowers on the mound usually hint to the state 
of the corpse as well. Some people are exclusively into 
'porking the bone', i.e. sex with skeletons. In this 
case you can dig up almost any grave and hope that the 
inhabitant hasn't yet disintegrated into dust. Try to 
scope out a fairly secluded cemetery for your passions 
unless you like a sense of danger to go along with the 
sex. 
 
 
Having anyone catch you in the act is NOT fun, and if 
you're picked up by a cop chances are that you won't be 
able to screw anything but Bubba behind bars for the 
next few decades. People are generally not 
understanding of the necrophiliac lifestyle, so it will 
probably be a long time before we can come out of the 
closet.
 
 
 
 
III: Preparation
 
 
Depending upon where you are at this point you'll have 
either a little or a lot of work to do. The person in 
the morgue will obviously have to do little more than 
to open the locker, pull the corpse out and bang away.
 
 
If you're one of the cemetery people you'll have more 
work to do. An experienced necrophiliac is always 
equipped with the bare essentials: a shovel, Vaseline 
and a box of rubbers. 
 
 
Why the shovel is needed should be obvious, but if the 
ground is hard then you might need more equipment to 
dig up your date. Vaseline is used to loosen the corpse 
up a bit. This makes it less likely for a body part to 
break off while you're having fun and it also prevents 
your dick from becoming too irritated while screwing 
the dried out pussy. 
 
 
The BOX of condoms is used to play it safe; no 
necrophiliac should be without it. You never know which 
STDs your partner had during his/her lifetime, and 
believe me; it doesn't get any better after the person 
dies. You can put on more than one rubber for extra 
protection if it is warranted, but screwing a corpse 
without protection is just plain stupid unless you want 
to be the next date for a necrophiliac. 
 
 
If you're in a cemetery try to drag the corpse out of 
the grave and behind a bush or to another secluded 
place. Pumping away in the grave may seem more 
convenient, but it's a severe disadvantage to you if 
you need to take off in a hurry. Sometimes the corpse 
is too fragile to be moved; in that case make it fast. 
Or just break off the head, hand or lower torso and 
take it with you for added convenience.
 
 
 
 
Part IV: Techniques
 
 
So now you've got a stiff lying seductively in front of 
you, but you have no idea how to start. How you proceed 
from this point onward really depends upon what kind of 
person you are. The corpse will last longer if you 
treat it gently and with care, but if you prefer to go 
all out you'll probably receive greater satisfaction. 
 
 
There are many differences between screwing a live and 
a dead person which one needs to be aware of. Firstly, 
a corpse will never tell you to "get off of it" if 
you're being a bit rough and it will never complain no 
matter what "kinky sexual practices" you may employ.
 
 
Screwing a corpse is also much more predictable because 
you can raise an arm, leg or whatever and it will still 
be in that position when you reach for it again. Take 
the arms and gently lock them in an embrace behind your 
back, or spread the legs to make sex a bit easier.
 
 
If you want a great blowjob then lubricate your 
partner's mouth, lock it to your preferred width, 
insert and go for it. Although there's no tongue 
stimulation it's still worthwhile, and it's also safer 
than conventional sex. 
 
 
Corpses can also be recycled if treated properly. If 
you're a proficient embalmer you can keep a corpse for 
over five years if it has been properly embalmed. 
That's free sex whenever you want it! You naturally 
don't want to be too rough with an embalmed corpse 
because they are more fragile.
 
 
One final advantage of screwing corpses is that they 
are always in abundance. Based upon your sexual 
preferences you can designate a cemetery or a morgue as 
your territory and always find fresh partners to screw. 
Plus you don't have to resort to cheesy pickup lines or 
spend all your money in order to get a date. 
 
 
Necrophilia is a passion, which is cheaply satisfied.
 
 
 
 
V: Conclusion
 
 
I hope that this text file will encourage you to go out 
and try necrophilia. Not many people do it, but that's 
precisely what makes it so much fun; it makes you feel 
special! If no living person would touch you with a 10-
foot pole then try having sex with a corpse! Some of 
them are real beauties and it's an experience you'll 
never forget.
 
 
There is no greater experience for a virgin than having 
his/her virginity taken by a corpse.
 
 
Anyways, have fun and if you have any experiences you'd 
like to share then by all means do! Maybe necrophilia 
will enter the mainstream because of your efforts.
 
 
  
 
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The Staff
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