Sunday, February 05 2006

I don't know what to do for Spiky's birthday. It's so confusing now. I never thought we would go apart. I haven't seen her now for a few weeks. Maybe it's better to drift slowly apart than to suddenly disappear from each other's life. We'll always be friends, I know that much. But I was hoping for more. I feel this diary is coming to it's natural conclusion. It went longer than I expected when I started writing it years ago, but that's all right and I don't feel sad about it. We both had the best time of our lives.

Dinner with Deni went great. She's really nice and sweet and we hit it off like we've known each other for a long time. She is a small ray of light in my life now. We've talked about our past and work and friends until late at night. She asked me to visit her next weekend so we can go out for a drive away from the city.

I couldn't wait any longer. I called Spiky and asked her what she has planned for her birthday. She said nothing yet which is hard to believe. She usually plans months ahead. I told her I don't mind if she goes partying with Else and friends. I just wanted to know when I could see her. Finally after half an hour of negotiation and compromise, she agreed to come over one weekend. I suppose I should feel honored. It's funny but I think more about our past these days than our future. I still remember the first time I saw her. She was only eight. I still love you, Spiky.