Thursday, August 23 2001

I've been busy chatting with [....] and we exchanged many letters. It's really fun to speak with her because we have lots in common. She has a little friend, a little girl B. who is a little older than Nikki so it's interesting to see how their relationship is going. I've been also telling her about myself and Nikki and we learned a lot from each other. I tried to encourage her to be more adventurous because she's really shy when she goes out with B. She's afraid even to hold her hand.

I met with my mom one day. It was interesting because Nikki was with us and my mom hasn't seen Nikki before. She said she liked her and she thought Nikki was cute! But despite this I could still feel that she's having a problem with me being in love with a little girl. She also said my dad was asking about me but I don't feel like meeting him yet because he's always so cold and I'm certain he would tell me how I should stop seeing Nikki.

I'm not sure if I'm right on this one, but I sometimes have a feeling that little girls are more often attracted to females than to boys and men. When I was little I always had crushes on female heroines I saw on TV or read about in books but I rarely fell in love with boys. However I'm sure there are little girls who'd love to be loved by adult men too.

Just two days ago Nikki was here with me. She was angry and sulky because her dad wouldn't let her have a pet puppy. They live in a flat just like me so they can't have a puppy because it would make too much mess. So she asked me if I would buy a puppy but I said I can't because I live in an apartment too and I have no one to look after it when I go to work. This made her even more irritated and she wouldn't let me come close to her, but it lasted only for a short time. I don't know why she gets so upset because she already has a pet turtle (which by the way is very cute). So to make peace I painted her toenails and then we went outside and I bought her ice cream.