This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to any existing people or events is coincidental. If a story involving sexual contact with minors bothers you or is illegal where you live, stop reading now. This is Part 3. Please read Part 1 first, which can be found here: Tommy's Coach
Tommy's Coach, Part 3
I was wicked curious about what Dad said about him and Uncle Matt. When I asked he kept saying that he didn't want to talk about it. I finally said, "Maybe I'll call Uncle Matt and ask him," and Dad got all red and started answering my questions.
"Did he really make you? Uncle Matt seems so nice, and you go fishing and everything, so if he made you I guess you'd be mad at him."
Dad shook his head. "You've never had an older brother, so it might be hard for you to understand, Tommy. Matt was my hero. He was three years older than me and I wanted his attention and approval more than anything. So I guess I would have gone along with almost anything that made him want to hang around with me."
I could understand that kinda. There were older guys on the team that could hit the ball a mile and I liked when they talked to me or played catch with me. But that doesn't mean I want to suck their dicks.
"So he didn't make you?" I was still confused.
Dad thought about it. "Well... he kind of made me. We shared a room when we were growing up, so when he started... you know... playing with himself... I couldn't help but see it. I was curious, I guess. I asked what he was doing and he let me see. I liked watching him because it was a grown-up thing and it was a secret and he let me in on it. Of course I started doing it too. It was something we shared together, so I felt like it was a special bond between us."
It sounded weird to me. "You mean he let you watch him jerk off?"
Dad nodded. "It's not like I didn't see him naked all the time anyway. We shared a bedroom and a bathroom so that was an everyday thing. Then he started getting hard and he couldn't really hide it. It wasn't such a big step for him to play with it in front of me."
"I guess his dick was a lot bigger than yours."
Dad gave me a dirty look. "Of course it was. He was twelve and I was nine. Your age. He was bigger than me all over."
"So then he made you blow him?"
"Not right away. One day when he was... playing... he told me that if I wanted to watch I should help him. I didn't know what he meant. He said 'Do it for me.' I guess I didn't say no, so he showed my how to use my hand on him."
"That doesn't sound like making you."
Dad was still red but it seemed like he was getting more ok with talking about it. "I wanted to make him happy, Tommy. I thought it was strange but I could tell by the look on his face that he liked it a lot. He told me how good it felt and that I was a good brother for helping him. He let me hang around with him all day after I did it the first time. I guess I decided it was worth it."
I know that it felt bad when Dad wasn't paying attention to me after Mom left. Even though he was right there in the house it was like I was alone. I could imagine that it would be pretty awful if you had a room with your big brother and he ignored you.
"But did you like it? Jerking him off?"
"At first I liked how it made him look at me and talk to me. After I did it more it made me feel... I dunno... like, powerful, almost? Like I could have this effect on him, make him get hard, make him... squirt."
"So you did it a lot." It sounded that way, how he said it.
Dad nodded. "Pretty much every day after a while." He looked like he was remembering. "He'd lay on his bed at night and pull back the covers, and pull down his underpants if he wanted it."
"That's when he told you to do it?"
"At first he told me to do it. Then later he'd just pull them down and I knew what to do. He didn't have to say it."
"Then you did like it." It was like Dad didn't want to admit it but it sure sounded to me like he liked it.
"I liked the effect it had, Tommy. How it made him like me. Maybe that's sad but it's true."
"So then he told you to suck on it?" I wanted to know the whole story. I guess Dad figured out that I wasn't going to stop asking til I heard it all.
"Not exactly. One day he told me that we shouldn't do it anymore. That it was gay and he didn't want to be gay and that we had to stop. I guess some friend of his told him that having another boy touch you meant you were gay."
I was even more confused. "But you're not gay, Dad... I mean... Mom and all. Are you?"
"No, Tommy, I'm not gay. I like women. But I also really liked my brother's attention and feeling special to him. So I didn't want to stop. I actually cried when he told me. He said he thought it was better for me too, to stop."
I felt kinda sorry for him. It would suck if somebody told me I couldn't play baseball anymore. "But it wasn't better for you, was it?" I was starting to understand.
"No, it wasn't. I missed the... closeness." I just waited for Dad to tell the next part. He went on after a minute.
"After that I'd watch him masturbate, him in his bed and me in mine. One day I asked him what he thought about when he did it. He said 'Jennifer Jacobs.' That was a girl in the next grade up from him that all the boys were in love with. She was... developed... more than the other girls. I asked what he thought about and he said, 'Her tits and her mouth.' I understood the 'tits' part, but wasn't so sure about the 'mouth.' I asked him if that meant he wanted to kiss her. He said, 'No you dork, I want her to blow me.' I didn't know what that was, so he explained it to me."
"That's when he made you suck his dick?" I thought we were finally getting to the important part.
Dad rolled his eyes. "No, Tommy. I thought it was funny that he liked this girl so much, so I teased him about it. You know, like you do with your friends. 'Oooo Matt's in loooovveeeee.' It annoyed him. I guess maybe I was also... I don't know... jealous of his feelings for her. When he'd play with himself I'd tease him more. 'Oh Matt... Jennifer wants you soooo bad... she's going to take off her shirt for you.' Stuff like that. At first he'd tell me to shut up, but that only made me want to do it more. I started saying things like, 'She wants to suck your dick so much. She wants you to squirt all over her big tits.'"
It was like Dad wasn't talking to me anymore, like he was remembering stuff for himself.
"The weird thing was, Matt started to get into it. It seemed to make him more excited when I talked that way. I'm not sure why really, but at one point I started to talk like I was Jennifer. I'd say 'Ohhh Matt you're so handsome... please let me show you my tits.' It made him beat his meat harder and shoot faster. To me, it was almost the same feeling as when I was playing with him, like I was making him happy."
"He usually had his eyes closed when he jerked off. Sometimes I'd slip out of bed so I could watch closer. I'd say things like 'I want to play with your big dick, Matt... please let me play with it.' I thought I was just pretending to be Jennifer, but someplace inside I was also just saying what I felt. When I was close by him watching, I used my Jennifer voice -- it wasn't a lot different from my own voice, since I was still small -- and I said 'Please tet me touch it, Matt.' One night, without thinking I reached over and put my hand on his hand, the hand that was on his dick. He stopped moving it for a few seconds. I was afraid that he was going to open his eyes and be mad and tell me to stop, but he didn't. He just took his hand away. After a minute he finally said, 'Ya, go ahead, touch it.' He kept his eyes closed and I stroked him a few times. He came harder than I'd ever seen."
"Pretending to be a girl sounds pretty gay to me, Dad." It just did. I couldn't help saying it.
"I wasn't pretending to be a girl inside, Tommy. I was just pretending for him, so that... so that he'd let me... so that he'd love me like he used to."
When he said that, it made me think about how I felt after Mom left, that Dad didn't love me anymore and how I wanted things to be like they used to be. Weird as the whole thing was, I kinda understood what it must have been like for him. I hugged his arm and he looked sad, but finally he told the last part.
"That's how things were for a while. Usually I'd just watch him but sometimes I'd creep over to his bed and... help him, talking like Jennifer. Until one night, when I had my hand on his penis, his eyes closed, he said 'Do you want to suck on it?' It freaked me out a little, because I wasn't sure if he was pretending to talk to Jennifer or really talking to me. I stopped playing with him. Then he said, 'Do you want to suck on it, Jennifer?' I didn't know that to do. When I was pretend-talking like her, I always said how much I wanted to suck his dick since it made him so hot to hear it. So it wouldn't make sense now if Jennifer said she didn't want to. So I said in my Jennifer voice, 'Oh yes Matt, I want to suck on it so bad.' I thought that would probably make him shoot in my hand and that would be it. But he said, 'Then suck on it. Put it in your mouth.' Even though we'd been pretending about it for weeks, I hadn't really imagined actually doing it. But I didn't... I didn't want to disappoint him. To lose him. Not again. After a minute he said 'Do it. Suck it. Do it now.' His voice had that sound in it, that sound of need that I missed so much."
Dad stopped talking. I didn't let him. "So you sucked his dick."
Dad sighed. "Yes, Tommy. I sucked his dick. I put his penis in my mouth. I gave him a blowjob. I sucked on it until he shot in my mouth. He held my head down and I swallowed. I drank all of his cum. I even played with his balls while I did it. There. Are you happy now?"
I was mostly happy that he'd finally told me, but I wanted to know more. "Did you like it?"
Dad poked me in the tummy. "I told you, Tommy. I liked making him happy." Dad still didn't want to admit it, I guess. I had one more question.
"Did you get a hard-on when you did it? That first time?"
Dad looked away for a few seconds. Finally he said, "Ya. I did."
"Then you liked it. Like Coach said, that's how you know that you liked it." Dad was just quiet.
"It's ok, Dad. I think it's neat how you wanted to help him. I think you were being a good brother." Dad smiled a little at that. "Did you blow him a lot after that?"
Dad rolled his eyes again. "You don't give up, do you Tommy? Yes, I blew him a lot after that." Geez, Coach was smart. He'd figured it all out.
After a minute I said, "Dad?"
He said "Yes, Tommy?" in a way that sounded impatient, like he thought I was going to ask him another question.
I just said, "I've got a boner."
He looked at me. I lifted my butt and pulled my pants and underpants down. He watched me but didn't do anything.
"Dad?" I was about to tell him, but he put his finger to my lips, like saying "Shush." And he bent over and put his mouth on me. He took it all in, my dick and my balls and everything, all at once. It was the most amazing thing ever.
This is part of a series. The next part can be found here: Tommy's Coach - 4