This is a work of fiction. The business described here does not exist as Pediatrics At Your Service or under any other name. Any resemblance to any existing people or businesses is coincidental. If a story involving sexual contact with minors bothers you or is illegal where you live, stop reading now.
Pediatrics At Your Service- Prologue
How many parents want to sexually molest their children?
This is a tough question to answer. We know that there are some who actually do molest their children, because they get caught. This is a small number though. One would assume that there are even more who are already molesting their kids but who have not gotten caught. And probably, a lot more who would like to molest their children but haven't. Not yet, at least. I expect that this group of parents may be pretty large.
I missed the opportunity to molest my own children, even though I wanted to. They're grown and gone now, so that ship has sailed. And no grandchildren yet. Perhaps I'll have more courage -- or less to lose -- when they come along.
So I've been thinking about those parents, the closet pedophile Moms and Dads that secretly yearn to take down their little ones' underpants and fondle... lick... watch their small round faces as they experience their first immature sexual sensations... penetrate them with thick adult fingers or toys or penises. I think about how to free them from what restrains them, the same things that restrained me.
What stops us from molesting our children? I believe it's mainly what I will call the "Two Fears." Both are pretty compelling.
Fear #1: Getting caught
If you get caught, you lose everything and the rest of your life is a nightmare of prison, exile from society and poverty. Probably the worst life anyone in a developed country could imagine.
Fear #2: Harming the child
Even if you don't get caught, the thought of damaging your own child for life, leaving them emotionally scarred and broken - this is unthinkable, even when considered through a haze of perverted lust. Many parents that I've talked to who are hardcore pedophiles for everyone else's kids swear that they aren't attracted to their own at all. I'm not sure that I believe this entirely, but I'm sure for some of them it's true.
Many of the frightened parents still find ways to push the boundaries. Most often they'll take advantage of the years before the child begins to talk. This is safe in both ways - the child is incapable of tattling, and they won't remember the events when they're old enough to spill the beans to their teacher. Of course, many pedophiles aren't attracted to children that young, so they're in a Catch-22. By the time little Suzy starts making his cock hard at age 6, Dad is bound by fear that holds him back. But lots of parents will make good use of bath time and diaper changes up until the verbal stage. It's easy and safe to just bend over and slip baby Kyle's infant penis into your mouth, suckle it gently until it stiffens, watch as it calms him and brings a little smile to his lips, notice how he learns to anticipate, flopping his legs open and gurgling when Mommy opens his diaper.
Whether a child can remember Mommy's clandestine fellatio from infancy is of course controversial. Some would say that damage is done even if it never shows. The notion of "recovered memories" from early childhood would appear to be largely an invention of psychologists obsessed with child abuse. To me this seems moot - if it's not visible damage, does it exist at all? I'm no expert, so call this rationalization.
Once the child begins to spew their words into the world, things get much more difficult. Of course there are still grey areas with the three-and-up crowd. Nudity at home is probably the most obvious. "We can let little Mary run naked after her bath. She loves it, and she's so cute, what's the harm?" Mom will start to reign her in as she turns five and gets ready for school, when she has to learn modesty, but no rush. It's natural after all. And we shouldn't be shy around the kids either. Good to teach them about positive body image. So it's no big deal if we leave the bathroom door open when showering. Daddy has a penis, Mommy has a vagina. A nice natural way to learn. It's ok, Mary... you can come in and watch while Daddy's shaving... we can talk about your day, you can tell me how you found a ladybug and let it crawl up your finger, I will smile and ruffle your hair with my fat adult penis hanging inches from your lovely little face. You'll only giggle a little if it bumps your nose as it swells ever so slightly. Of course I want to shove it between your pretty pale lips and paint your face thick with my sperm... but that's a no-no.
A parent can hope that these attentions and open doors lead to the child discovering their own pleasure centers at an early age. "Oh honey, you won't believe this! She was in her room and I came in and she was... well... she was... you know... sitting on her teddy bear... but not just sitting... she was... rubbing on it... and she had this smile on her face. I couldn't believe it... I mean, she's only four years old... where did she get that idea? Hmm? Oh... I guess I did figure it out too pretty young, but just not at four. Well of course it's natural, we don't want to make her ashamed of it. I read online about it. We just have to tell her that it's ok, but she should do it with her door closed."
With young masturbators, the pedophile parent just has to give them the slightest encouragement. "Does that feel good, sweetheart? No, you don't have to stop. How was your day? Sure, I can leave the door open, pumpkin. I know, Mommy said close it when you're doing that, but I don't mind." I'll be back when you're asleep to pull up your nightie and masturbate into your underpants, princess. (That last bit doesn't get said out loud.)
But we restrain ourselves. We stay in control. The rational part of our brains keeps us from doing things that would destroy it all. But our cocks force our brains to keep working on the problem. There must be a way... maybe it's worth it... let's buy a cabin in the woods... homeschooling would help a lot... a hot tub... video cameras in the bedrooms... But we stop short. We're the sane, rational ones.
My brain keeps churning too. I think about the Two Fears that hold us back - getting caught, harming the child. What if there were some way to be sexual with our kids without triggering either of these? It's a fascinating problem, and there's no perfect answer. That said, there might be some imperfect answers.
An obvious path is to molest our children as they sleep. Perhaps even sedate them so that they're more likely to stay asleep as we take our liberties. This has some appeal, but it's still fraught with peril. Even with a strong dose of benadryl the little tykes might wake up and wonder why they're covered with Daddy's spunk.
But the main drawback to fondling the kids while they sleep is that you don't get the payoff. You don't see them respond sexually to the attention. For most of us, this is where the greatest pleasure comes. We want to see our toddlers and preteens squirm... pant... turn red... have their compact and subtle and miniaturized versions of orgasms. We want to feel the eight year old cunny squeeze the tip of our finger. We want the smooth nine year old erection to twitch and spasm its dry heaves in our enveloping mouth. We want to see their eyes lose focus, the strange new feelings taking over their young brains despite their unease and embarrassment. We want them to slowly stop saying "Stop," the gradual fading of their protests evidencing their submission to forced pleasure. It's really the loveliest thing there is. But there's none of that if they're comatose.
So what to do, what to do? As I pondered this question, the internet provided some inspiration. On the Zity.Biz forum dedicated to medical fetishes, there are some long threads of personal stories from people whose early sexual awakenings occurred at the doctor's office. In many cases just the standard exam treatment from the pediatrician elicited an erotic response, even for very young children. They remember the experience forever and it shapes their sexual preferences into adulthood.
Here's a sample from a typical post:
"I believe my visits to the pediatrician played a significant role not only in developing this fetish but in my sexuality in general. I have vivid memories of lying on the table in my tiny underwear while the doctor checked me out. I was around 5 or 6 and interestingly enough I can't remember how I'd end up in my underwear, only the genital portion. My mother was also there and she probably helped me get undressed.
I wore tight briefs and at some point the doctor would just pull down the front of my underwear and check my genitals. Even being years away from puberty, that gave me a jolt of excitement that I can only describe as sexual arousal. I remember being all giggly in the car afterwards and whispering in my sister's ear that the doctor saw and touched my peepee!"
There are many similar entries. Most of them seem genuine, unlike the fantasies that you find on Nifty or asstr-mirror.org. In some of these posts, it seems that the doctor may have been taking liberties beyond the strict boundaries of a standard pediatric exam. For example:
"The doctor always examined my penis and testicles briefly as far back as I can remember clearly (probably about age 4). At around 9 or 10 he started doing a more thorough examination of them including palpating each testicle, doing a hernia check, and squeezing the tip and shaft of my penis. I always got an erection while he was doing this, which was embarrassing because my Mom was always there in the exam room."
Was this doctor going too far? Who's to say? Actually, the published standard for genital exams for children describe a thorough procedure that's entirely consistent with what's described by these young patients.
There are two very important things to observe regarding these stories. First, the child didn't recognize at the time that they were being molested. Second, even if they did feel that something was odd, they never told anyone. Having these experiences with a doctor addressed both of the Two Fears we've been discussing.
Of course there are the few extreme examples of pedophile pediatricians going too far and getting caught. Some spectacular cases have come to public attention recently. My reaction to these has always been, "What an idiot. He had a perfect situation and he screwed it up because he couldn't control himself." In the 2011 documentary "In a Town This Size," we learn of a small town pediatrician who molested dozen of children over many years. He was eventually exposed because he engaged in explicit sex, such as masturbating in front of the children and fellating the boys. Had he stuck to more subtle approaches, he'd probably still be practicing today.
But these extreme examples also tell another story - for each doctor that gets caught, there must be many others that are smart enough to only push the boundaries in ways that don't raise issues.
So what's the point of all this? The way my twisted mind works, it plays out like this:
Many parents would like to molest their children but are held back by the Two Fears.
Children who are subtly molested by their doctors don't experience either of the Two Fears, unless their doctor is an idiot and goes too far.
Perhaps a parent who wants to molest their child would be a willing participant in a scenario where a sympathetic doctor allows them to witness the molestation of their child in a way that avoids the Two Fears.
Finding such a doctor could be difficult... but the "doctor" wouldn't really need to be a doctor. They'd just have to be credible enough for the child to believe they were.
Risk is further reduced by having the parent in the room during the exam. This will comfort the child, and the parent can reassure the little one that everything is normal. This pretty much eliminates the chance of reporting.
I'm incapable of leaving such an intriguing set of ideas to sit idle. The notion just lodged in my brain like a splinter and festered over the years. Could it be real? Eventually I had to find out.
Hence the founding of my business, Pediatrics At Your Service. Our advertising uses this voice-over:
"Pediatrics At Your Service - the unique medical practice that's a great boon to today's overly busy parents, eliminating the need to bring their children to the doctor's office and wait forever to be seen. Our highly qualified staff comes to you, just like in the old days, and performs complete physical exams for your kids in the comfort and convenience of your own home. Our scheduling model allows our practitioners the time to be unhurried and thorough, unlike the perfunctory exams performed by most doctors today. The safe and familiar home environment is less stressful for your children and allows for complete privacy and discretion. Parents may choose to be present in the exams to insure transparency. We are highly respectful of parents' freedom to determine what's best for their children and protect their families from outside interference. It's easy to book online. All insurance accepted!"
Of course the ad is designed with some important trigger words. A "complete" and "thorough" exam. "Privacy and discretion." Protection from "outside interference." These are hooks to attract the right sort of parents, and a starting point in the pre-exam interview process. "It's our practice to be very thorough during the exam. Is this something you're comfortable with, Mr Anderson?" I listen carefully, watching the body language as the parent decides how open to be. "I'm experienced with a very wide range of parenting practices, Mr Anderson. I can assure you of my complete lack of judgment and total discretion. Parents have a right to handle their children as they see fit. It's very sad that so many people feel that they have the right to interfere in a family's business, but I'm a believer in freedom, sir. It would be a violation of medical ethics for me to communicate anything that you tell me or anything that occurs in the exam to anyone." And so on.
It's been an interesting adventure. As I've developed my "practice," I've gathered lots of interesting stories to share. I'll write up notes from the more interesting exams and send them along as I have time. I hope you enjoy reading them and would welcome your questions and comments.