Passages
by John O'Connor
Disclaimer:  Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the
property of Stargate (II) Productions,
Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions,
and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment
purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No
copyright infringement is intended. The original
characters, situations, and story are the property of
the author.
Note: Partial spoilers for "Rite Of Passage."  And references to "Forever 
and a Day", "The Curse", and "Entity." 
Rating: PG-13.
Daniel accompanied Janet as they walked down one of the seemingly endless 
corridors of the SGC.  He finally decided to add his two cents.
"She says she can help Cassandra," Daniel said.
Janet's reply clearly reflected her distrust of the prisoner, "IF we trust 
her."
Shaking his head, Daniel replied, "No, if we let her go."
"Do you believe she can actually help?" Janet asked in disbelief.
"Well, seeing as we don't have a choice...I guess it's worth a shot," Daniel 
replied with a small, somewhat sad smile.
"What about General Hammond? What's he going to do?"
Daniel shrugged, "He hasn't decided yet."
Janet stopped and placed her hand lightly on Daniel's chest then to his arm 
in gratitude, "I really need to get back to see Cassandra."
Her hand trailed down Daniel's arm to lightly grasp his fingers.  Daniel 
held the grasp with a light firmness and said, "Well, I know how tough this 
has been for you, so if you need anything... "
Janet regarded the young archaeologist, a wistful sadness coloring her gaze 
and returned the pressure of his fingers, "Thanks."
Janet turned and went back to the cross-corridor and the infirmary.  Daniel 
shook his head once, almost savagely, muttering a curse under his breath 
before continuing to his lab.
* * * * * *
Two months before, Daniel pulled up in front of the small house where Janet 
lived with her daughter Cassandra.  It was the end of a date that had not
lived up to his expectations.
"I'm sorry, Daniel.  It's not you.  You are a warm and loving person and any 
woman would give everything she had to be with you," Janet said, looking at 
him sadly.
"Just not you," the young man said, looking at his hands gripping the 
steering wheel.
"I...  I guess I'm not ready for..."  Janet paused and shook her head, she 
wasn't going to start lying to Daniel now.  "I think there's someone else."
"You think?" he asked incredulously.
"Well, this person hasn't said anything but I can't get them out of my 
mind," Janet said, hoping she wasn't giving anything away.  Then she was 
struck by how this all must sound to Daniel, how hard it might be for him. A 
wave of  guilt washed over her.  "I am sorry.  I don't want to hurt you or..."
Daniel smiled, a pained, somewhat angry smile, and said, "No.  I guess I 
can't expect you to feel..."
Janet took his hand and squeezed it, saying those words no man wants to hear 
from a girl he's attracted to, "I do want us to be friends."
With a snorted chuckle, Daniel responded sharply, "Friends?  Yeah, I guess 
we almost have to be, don't we?"
"Please?"
Daniel could never refuse those brown eyes or the woman who they belonged 
to, and not just because she had dragged he and his teammates back from the 
brink too many times to count.
"Sure, Janet.  Just know that I'm here whenever you need me," Daniel said, 
giving her a sad, lopsided smile.
Janet kissed his cheek lightly, the most intimate contact they had shared, 
and got out of the car. "Good night," she said before closing the door.
"Night," Daniel replied, waiting until she was safely inside before pulling 
away from the curb.
"Damn!" he said aloud.  It wasn't the first time his heart was broken but 
that didn't make it any easier.
He's been THE Wallflower all through high school and his undergrad years.  
Then graduate school in Chicago and Sarah.  They had started slow, like he 
tried with Janet, and had a wonderful, eye-opening (to Daniel at any rate) 
relationship that lasted through his doctoral research.  Until his 'absurd' theories 
ruined him in academia.
Then, they met again at his mentor's funeral and things looked promising 
until she...
He shook his head, clearing his mind only to allow thoughts of his beloved 
Sha're to surface.  The only other woman he had really loved, she was now 
nothing more than memories.  The pain was still there, but it was a little 
easier.  And, he had hoped that Janet and Cassandra would help make it even 
easier.
He wanted more than memories.  He wanted a life.  One that didn't focus on 
the Stargate and the constant struggle with the Goa'uld.  Perhaps he was 
foolish to try to achieve that with someone else who worked at the SGC.
But with Janet, he could've talked about his work when he got home and put 
up his feet...
*  *  *
Janet closed the front door and fell back against it, a loud sigh escaping 
her.  That had gone smoother than she had expected but she still felt 
horrible about it.
Poor Daniel.  Even though she had no valid reason, she felt guilty.
She looked at the phone and thought about calling him. Maybe pretend their 
talk had never happened.  What stopped her was her need to be truthful.  It 
was embedded in her so deeply that she had to almost physically fight with 
herself to lie about her top-secret work to outsiders.
But, though she was truthful, she was also discrete. This new interest she 
had was, so far as she knew, one-sided.  There were signs, practically 
billboards, there but...
She had misread things before and ended up in a loveless, soon to be 
hateful, marriage.  She had vowed then and there never to go rashly into 
anything like that again.
* * * * * *
Janet walked towards the infirmary, concern for the girl she called her 
daughter taking precedence over everything else.  She allowed herself one 
moment of her walk to think about Daniel's offer.
Things for her hadn't changed since they had broken off their fledgling 
relationship.  She was still alone and unattached.  But, she couldn't join 
Daniel in a sham relationship.  It wouldn't be fair to him.
Or to herself.
Entering the iso-ward, she saw Cassie still suffering from the unknown 
retrovirus.  Her little girl was dying and she felt powerless to help.
Barking orders, she saw the readings go critical.
No! This was not going to happen!  No matter what!
Janet grabbed a hypo and left the infirmary.  This could mean the end of her 
career but she was going to do whatever she could to save her daughter.
* * * * * *
"I'm sorry about what I said before, Janet," Cassie said.
Smiling and stroking the girl's hair, Janet said, "Hey, no problem.  And 
you're right.  I'm not your mother."
Taking the woman's hand in hers, Cassie said, "Yes, you are.  Mom."
They held hands for a long moment, smiling at each other.  Janet knew this 
was a rare moment in a teenager's life and enjoyed it to the fullest.
Finally, feeling Cass becoming uneasy, she let go and said, "Homework, young 
lady."
"Did you really hold a gun to that bi...that woman?" Cass asked for the 
hundredth time.
"Yup," Janet replied simply.  "Homework...?"
With a mock-scowl, Cassie nodded and opened a history book.  Janet opened a 
report and stood at a small bed-table nearby.  Her office was too far away 
at the moment.
Daniel looked in, "Hey Cass."
"Hi Daniel."
Turning towards the doctor, he asked, "How's she doing?  She looks one 
hundred percent better."
"Yes, she's doing great.  She'll go home in a few hours and should be back 
in school Monday," Janet said.
"Good.  Well, I'll see you."
Turning to go, Daniel stopped when Janet said, "Daniel.  Thank you."
"Hey.  It was nothing."
"Maybe but it meant a lot.  Still does."
"Okay.  See ya."  Daniel exited with an embarrassed smile.
A few minutes later, Sam came in, her portable chessboard under her arm.
"Hey, Janet! How's our patient?"
Cassie looked up, answering for her mother, "Bored."
Janet smiled and said, "The, uh, homework's backed up. Other than that she's 
just fine. I get to take her home tonight."
Sam, with a wicked gleam in her eye, said, "Ooohhh...Dominick awaits."
"Stop it," Cassandra warned.
Sam couldn't help teasing the girl, "Come on, that last kiss was 
impressive."
Janet laughed.
"Stop it!" Cassie said more forcefully, trying to glare at Sam.
"Lights exploded overhead!" Sam continued.
Cassie, blushing and smiling, still protested Sam's comments, "STOP IT!" Sam 
laughed. "Augh!"  Cassie groaned before she started to chuckle.
Holding up the chessboard, Sam said, "It's Saturday..."
Cassie grinned and replied, "OK. But...I won't be able to move the pieces 
around just by thinking about it...sorry.
Sam smiles and says, "Good. Then we're even."
Janet observes the whole exchange, a beautiful, seldom seen smile on her 
face.
In the past few months, she had almost lost the two people that meant the 
most to her in the entire world. Hell, the entire universe.  Suddenly, at 
that moment, she knew she had to be completely truthful with both of them.
"Sam, wanna come over for dinner tonight?"
Sam looked up with a big smile on her face.
Neither one saw Daniel, once again in the corridor, also smiling at the 
little family group.  "You go,   girl," he muttered before quietly heading 
back the way he'd come.
 (c) John O'Conner
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