Corner Gas: Eye Spy
by John O'Connor
Disclaimer: "Corner Gas" and its characters are the property of Prairie Pants
Productions Inc. and CTV. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no
money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original
characters, situations, and story are the property of the author.
Dedication: To Geonn Cannon as a belated birthday present. After all, it's his
fault I got hooked on this show. Happy Birthday buddy. (The title was also his
suggestion to keep it in line with the punnish-ness of the show's episode titles.
Thanks Geonn.)
Dog River Police Officer Karen Pelly was mad. No, she was more than mad,
she was royally pissed! Stupid Davis and his stupid games…
~~~flashback~~~
Davis Quinton, for a long-time the sole officer for the Dog River Police
Department, was showing Karen a trick he claimed he saw on MacGyver using
a rubber band and a paperclip.
“Is this some Cree thing?” Karen asked. Davis was a proud son of the Cree
nation.
“No. It’s a MacGyver thing,” Davis replied with a self-satisfied smirk as he
started to twist the paperclip out of shape. “Okay Newbie, now you hold it…”
Karen protested, “ Davis , I’m not a newbie. I’ve been here for almost three
years now.”
“Look…Newbie, when you’ve been here as long as I have, you won’t be a
newbie anymore.”
“How long’s that? Since Trudeau’s first term?”
“Huh?”
“You know, Pierre Trudeau. PM in the ‘60s and ‘70s.”
Davis , with a puzzled, slightly angry look on his face, continued, “So you stretch
the rubber band between your finger and your thumb. Then you take the
paperclip like this and then you pull back and…”
“OW!!! JEEZUS! DAVIS …My eye!!!”
“Oops?”
~~~end flashback~~~
“Stupid Davis and his stupid games,” Karen snarled aloud as she gently touched
the black patch over her right eye. At least there was no permanent damage.
But as long as she had to wear the patch she was staying away from Davis –
except when they had to work together.
And thanks to the stupid jokes from Brent Leroy, the owner of Corner Gas, and
his idiotic friend Hank Yarbo, she was staying away from the hotel bar. She’d
rather patrol the small town after hours than listen to them go on and on…
~~~flashback~~~
“Hey Karen? Auditioning for Pirates Of Penzance ?” Brent asked with a wry grin
as she walked into Corner Gas. As usual, he was busy reading a comic book.
Hank, leaning on the register, as usual, added, “Yarr mateys! Avast ye swabs!”
Then Wanda Dollard, Brent’s coworker who was, as usual, working on a
crossword puzzle, chimed in, “What do you do when you pull over a speeder,
eh? Make ‘em walk the plank.”
“Good one,” Brent acknowledged.
“Good one?” Karen protested. “How is that good? How do you even make
someone walk the plank in Saskatchewan ?”
“Shiver me timbers!” declared Hank. “Aarrgh…”
With a disgusted sigh and a roll of her good eye, Karen turned and left the gas
station.
~~~end flashback~~~
“One more pass around town and then I’m going home,” Karen muttered to
herself. It was getting dark and, even though she was loath to admit any
imperfection, her left eye wasn’t as strong as her right one. Coupled with the
gathering gloom and the lack of depth perception, she decided it was time to call
it a night.
As she passed the Dog River Hotel which housed the local bar, she glanced
longingly at the structure. Then she saw a tall figure with a dark pony-tail
entering the bar - Lacey Burrows, late of Toronto and the owner of the Ruby, her
late Aunt Ruby’s diner located in the same building as Corner Gas. Now she
really wanted to go in there and be part of the camaraderie but…
“Stupid Hank and his stupid pirate jokes,” she snarled. Even though Brent and
Wanda had stopped poking fun at her, Hank was still doing his pirate antics
whenever he saw Karen. Like a dog with a bone. “Like a moron with a bone…”
she muttered.
At the end of her twentieth, and last, pass through the small town, she passed
the railhead and granary, turning into the parking lot shared by Corner Gas and
the Ruby.
Glancing perfunctorily at the darkened gas station, she saw what she expected
– nothing. But through the sheer drapes in the Ruby’s window, she saw
movement. Someone was trying to rob Lacey!
Quickly parking the squad car by the gas pumps, she silently moved towards the
door of the restaurant. Fishing the keys out of her pocket, she found the town’s
old skeleton key. It would allow her to get into the diner quietly and quickly.
Unlocking the door, she pulled her gun and burst into the shadowy room.
Spotting the thief near the counter, Karen shouted, “Freeze! Against the
counter! Now!”
“WHAT?!?”
“Quiet! I’ll ask the questions!” Karen countered. “Spread ‘em!” The perp just
stood there so she repeated herself, “Spread ‘em! NOW!”
The figure leaned against the end of the counter, arms and legs spread with
hands pressing against the edge of the counter top.
With one hand, her other still holding her weapon, Karen began to frisk the
suspect. As she did so, she detected a familiar scent – cooking smells. Not
surprising in a restaurant the size of the Ruby though.
As she patted down the would-be thief, she smiled to herself when she felt the
soft curves under the cotton shirt. A woman crook! And then she heard the perp
gasp as she squeezed the roundness – to confirm there were no weapons of
course. Unless a rock-hard nipple could be considered dangerous.
Down over the tight jeans, the round globes of the perp’s ass were firm but soft
and moved under the cop’s questing hand.
Moving around to the front, Karen remembered an old trick to smuggle in
alcohol or other things to concerts and movies – hide it in your crotch. No
penny-ante entertainment security guard would frisk anyone there. Her hand
slid over the fly and down the denim material, squeezing to confirm the lack of
weaponry.
“Huh!” the suspect gasped, followed by, “Karen!”
“Shut up!” Karen ordered. Although the voice sounded familiar, she was too
pumped up to recognize it. But the perp knew her name… Someone in town
turning to crime? No way! Not in Dog River . Not on her watch.
Holstering her gun and grabbing her handcuffs, Karen took the right hand and
snapped the cuff on it. Then, pulling that hand back, she grabbed the left arm
and fastened the other cuff securely. With both hands shackled from behind,
the crook wouldn’t be too dangerous.
In the dim light, Karen realized the perp had a dark pony tail too. She filed that
away to be added to the description on the arrest report. But before that, she
had to take advantage of the situation.
Knowing the crook would report it, but confident in her reputation in Dog River
versus that of a common criminal, Karen again reached around the figure before
her. Her left hand again fell on one of the woman’s breasts and began to
massage it gently but firmly.
The officer’s right hand slid down over the woman’s crotch, fingering her through
the thick denim. The woman stiffened then slowly relaxed when she was
caressed roughly.
“Uhhh…” breathed the perp.
“Hush! Gotta make sure you’re not dangerous,” Karen replied. Her right hand
slid up and popped the button at the tip of the jeans then eased down the zipper
– harder to do from the back on tight jeans with one hand. Once she could fit
her hand inside, it slipped under the coarse cotton and into the satiny-soft
panties.
The thief was wet!
Very wet. And her nipple was poking through her shirt against Karen’s hand,
the breast rising and falling faster under her caresses. The cop’s other hand
slipped easily over the pouty netherlips. Then two of them slid inside and the
body in her arms shuddered.
Amazed at her own audacity, Karen began to finger-fuck the woman she had
captured. With a slow rhythm, Karen’s fingers slid in and out, the edge of her
hand grazing the other woman’s distended clit.
For several minutes, the only sound in the darkened diner was the low moaning
coming from Karen’s prisoner and the muffled squishy sounds from the cuffed
woman’s pleasured sex.
Finally, the perp couldn’t keep silent any longer. With a loud
“Ooohhh…KAREN!!!” she came on the blonde’s hand.
Karen’s eyes, both the open one and the one covered by her patch, widened in
alarm. That voice! She knew that voice.
Pulling her hands away quickly, she took a step back and waited, uncertain what
to do or what would happen. The woman slowly turned to face the cop.
Her heart leaped into her throat and her stomach shrank to the size of a
small…a very small walnut.
Standing there, her face flushed and her chest still heaving from the orgasm she
just had, was Lacey Burrows.
‘Oh god, I’m… My life is… Oh shit!’ were only a few of the jumbled thoughts
fragments racing through Karen’s brain.
They stood silently staring at each other for an eternity.
Lacey spoke first. “What the hell were you doing?!? I mean, I know what you
did but…what the hell? I mean…”
She stopped when she saw Karen had started to cry. “I’m so…sor…sorry. I
was trying to h…he…help and… God, Lacey, I’m so sorry. I was driving by and
saw someone in the diner and I thought it was a robbery so I came in to arrest
the crook…you and then it was like I was not in control of myself anymore and
I…”
“Oh Karen, that’s alright… There, there,” Lacey tried to stop her friend before
the sobbing babble became too much. Lacey was the nurturing type who
couldn’t handle someone else crying. She immediately tried to hug her friend –
the same one who had just sexually assaulted her – when she found she was
still cuffed. Slightly twisting her body and raising her shoulder to indicate her
arms were still bound, the brunette asked, “Can you…?”
Karen was oblivious to her friend’s request, “I just wanted to…you know,
recapture the glory of... When I caught that thief who was running off without
paying… And this week has been so hard with Davis and his MacGyver thing,
then everyone with the pirate shit and…and…” The woman began to cry again.
“Karen, it’s okay. Please. You came in thinking I was being robbed.” Lacey
paused then had to ask, “Fine, I get that. But then you…assaulted me. And you
wouldn’t let me even identify myself. And, even though it was great…”
Karen, realizing her life might not be over, sputtered to a halt then looked
sharply at Lacey, “Hey! I saw you go into the bar. How did you get here to
fast? And why didn’t you turn on the lights?”
Lacey, her face still flushed, replied, “I haven’t been in the bar since last Friday.
I was here trying to fix Hank’s mess.”
“Hank…”
~~~flashback~~~
“So this should make the Ruby a cyber-café?” Lacey asked.
“Yeah, Lacey, this looks like your standard mega-pixar-power-bite-current-
wattage modemulator,” Hank nodded, scratching his head through the ever-
present backwards baseball cap.
“Huh?” Lacey and Brent asked simultaneously. They all regarded the device
Hank had claimed was a high-speed modem. As if Hank knew what a modem
was or what one did. Lacey was already second-guessing herself on the
wisdom of letting the village idiot work in her establishment.
“And you wanted to buy one at that shop in Wullerton,” Hank said then spat. As
did everyone else in earshot, including Lacey.
“God, now you got me doing it. Why do we spit whenever someone says
Wul… Never mind. The floor’s messy enough already.” Lacey stopped when
she saw Hank preparing to spit again. “Brent, tell me this is going to work.”
“You want me to lie to you?”
“Yes.”
Brent put his hand on Lacey’s shoulder, “Don’t worry. Hank fixed my airhose
bell and put in the digital thermostat at my parents’ house.” Then, looking at his
childhood friend, he added, “Hey, isn’t Pixar that movie studio? They made that
Nemo movie? And the toy one?”
“Yeah. And they worked too,” Hank added, looking confused. No one what
sure what he was acknowledging, least of all Hank, apparently. “I’ll just plug this
in and then you can plug in your computer thingie and… Viola!”
“You mean ‘voila’?” Brent asked.
“Yeah, whatever.”
At that moment, Karen walked in. Hank brandished a screwdriver and yelled,
“AAARRR! Avast ye scurvy dogs!”
Karen glowered at him, turned and walked back out of the diner.
Hank turned back to Lacey and Brent, chuckling at his attempt at humor.
“Just finish the job, Douglas Fairbanks,” Brent said.
Hank nodded and plugged in the pseudo-modem.
And, with a pop from the outlet, the Ruby went dark.
“Hank!” Lacey yelled.
“Uh, yeah… It’ll take a while to get going but…” Hank backed out of the diner
faster than he ever entered it.
“Brent?” Lacey turned her tortured face to her friend.
“Uh, I hear Mom calling. Must be dinner. Coming Mom!”
As Brent raced out the door, he barely avoided knocking over his father, Oscar.
Oscar’s comment was typical. “Hey, watch out! Jackass!”
“Oh Oscar…” Lacey lamented.
The old man interrupted her, “What’s going on? Why is it dark in here? Are you
trying something new? Again!” Then, just to add the final touch, “I hate it!”
With a deep breath, Lacey replied, “No Oscar. Hank was…”
At the mention of his son’s dimwitted friend, Oscar interrupted the young woman
again, cupping his ear, “Is that Emma? Dinner’s ready? Coming dear!”
And with that very un-Oscar-like endearment, Lacey was left alone in a
darkened Ruby.
~~~end flashback~~~
“Hank…” Karen said, shaking her head as if it explained everything. Which it
did. “But the bar… I saw you outside.”
“Why did you think it was me?”
“Well, you were tall, shapely and your ponytail…” Karen’s eyes widened.
“Paul! It was Paul.” Paul Kinistino was the bartender at the Dog River Hotel.
And had long, dark hair, often pulled back into a ponytail. “Oh god! I…”
“Feel like an idiot?” Karen nodded. “And like a…a…les…lesbian…uh,
assaulter… Uh, I mean…”
“God Lacey. I did assault you. I…took advantage of my position. If I’d known it
was you, I’d never…”
“So, Karen, can you get these cuffs off me?”
Karen looked at her friend, noticing for the first time that Lacey was still
handcuffed and her pants were sliding down her shapely legs. Her hand slid
along the smooth flesh of Lacey’s thigh, eliciting a soft moan from the taller
woman.
“You said it was great?”
“Well no…” Lacey shuddered as the hand caressed her thigh. “Okay, yeah, it
was…”
“Want me to stop?” Karen’s fingers brushed the front of Lacey’s wet panties.
“God no!”
“Good,” Karen said as she pulled down the cloth covering Lacey’s treasure.
Now she felt like a plundering pirate. Not that Hank would ever…ever know.
She knelt down and pulled off the clothes that had covered the beauty Lacey
rarely showed anyone.
“Sit on the counter,” Karen ordered gently as she gazed at the half-naked
woman in the dim light.
“Hey, how ‘bout these cuffs?” Lacey said brightly.
“No.”
“No?” Lacey got that expression that was the typical sad, tortured look she got
when Dog River and all things Dog River made no sense. Usually at least once
a day.
Karen shook her head. “Nope. Kinda like you like this.” She leaned in and
whispered in Lacey’s ear, the warm breath sending a shiver through the
brunette, “Kinda one of my fantasies…”
Lacey eyes flashed lustfully and she gave her a lop-sided smile, “A little help
then?”
Karen wrapped her arms around the brunette but, rather than boost her onto the
counter, the cop kissed the restaurateur. Chastely at first. Lacey kissed back,
her tongue forcing its way into Karen’s mouth. This surprised but delighted the
pretty, blonde officer.
Soon both women were kissing passionately, Karen’s hands moving up and
down Lacey’s back, first over her shirt then under, and down over the soft, bare
ass. For her part, Lacey was forced to be more expressive than usual with her
lips and tongue – sucking on Karen’s tongue and nibbling on her lower lip before
suckling her tongue again.
Karen’s mouth moved lower, kissing and sucking on Lacey’s pulse then nibbling
along her collarbone. Once she reached the brunette’s shoulder, she began
licking a winding trail across Lacey’s upper chest, weaving her way down to the
cleavage she had admired in secret for so long.
As she buried her face in the valley between Lacey’s breasts, she found that
little mole Lacey’s right breast and began to lick and nip at it like a nipple.
Lacey began to giggle, her chest heaving against Karen’s face. “S…s…stop
that! It…it tickles…”
“Good to know,” Karen acknowledged as she glanced up at Lacey with a wicked
smile. The she yanked up the cotton shirt and pushed Lacey’s lacy bra up over
her mounds.
“Lace for Lacey… That’s cute,” Karen said.
“Yeah, if I was running for office or… OH!”
The cop loved her new method of shutting Lacey up. Too bad chewing on her
nipple couldn’t be used more publicly.
Then again, having this hottie all to herself was something very special…
Grasping Lacey’s hips, Karen said, “Jump.”
“Huh?”
“Jump up. On the counter.”
“Oh.”
“On three… One… Two… Three!”
Lacey’s shapely ass landed nicely on the counter.
Karen again took Lacey’s nipple in her mouth. This time she was gentler,
sucking and licking the nub. Then she switched to the other, her tongue
painting a path across the woman’s cleavage with a slight detour to the little
mole that was so ticklish.
Then she blazed a wet trail down the brunette’s flat stomach and into the neatly
trimmed thicket of brown fur. Karen’s tongue slid through the tight curls and
around them, tracing the outline of the triangular thatch then down to the
juncture of Lacey’s hips and her thighs. All the while, the cop made a
determined effort to avoid touching the ultra-sensitive flesh that quivered in
anticipation below the brown tuft.
Her licking kisses continued along the sensitive flesh on the inside of Lacey’s
thighs – down one leg and then up along the other.
By this point, even in the dim light and with only one - weak - eye available to
her, Karen could see the wetness glistening on the aroused labia. She couldn’t
wait anymore, she had to taste her willing captive.
Despite having had a great orgasm only moments before, Lacey shivered with
pleasure and squeaked out an “Oh!” when she felt Karen’s tongue slip between
her outer lips. The ”Oh!” became a low, continuous groan as that same supple
tongue began to slide up and down within her outer labia. The occasional trust
deeper into Lacey made the groan change in tone briefly.
As Karen tongue-fucked her new woman, Lacey’s groan began to ratchet up in
volume and depth, getting louder and more throaty. When her tongue delved
between the inner labia, Lacey began to thrash, her head thrown back & her
pony-tail whipping back and forth.
Before the cop could even think about assailing Lacey’s love button, the diner-
owner screamed as she came.
* * *
Brent’s head reared up, his eyes staring around the bar. “Didja hear that?”
Hank replied, “That sound like a coyote in pain?”
Wanda looked over at him, “Nah. Didn’t hear anything.”
Hank shook his head, “Me neither.”
“Meh, neither did I,” Brent agreed, turning back to his drink.
* * *
Lacey sat on her counter, panting heavily. “Oh. My. God. That…that was
incredible, Karen.”
Karen smiled back at her as she licked her lips, “Ah, it was nothing.” To herself,
she was marveling at how responsive Lacey had been. She kissed the damp
fur in front of her the let her tongue slide through the hair back to her newly
discovered treasure trove.
‘Maybe there’s something to this pirate business after all,’ she mused.
Before she lost the capacity for rational speech again, Lacey looked down at the
upper part of Karen’s face, one eye hidden by a patch and her blonde hair
pulled back into her normal on-duty style. “You look so…sexy there.”
Before she got busy with Lacey again, Karen looked up and said, “So do you.”
This time, Karen didn’t waste time but went right to Lacey’s clit. She simply
sucked it between her lips and Lacey squealed again. In moments, she
screamed loudly again.
* * *
“Hey, didja hear that?” Hank asked.
“You mean that sound like Lacey ready to kill you?” Brent asked.
“No, I didn’t hear anything either,” Hank decided.
* * *
Karen rested her forehead against Lacey’s stomach, her nose buried in the
woman’s pubic thatch. Taking a deep breath, she enjoyed the smell of freshly-
climaxed Lacey.
“God! I’ve never come that many times. Or that hard!” Lacey declared.
Karen hopped up next to Lacey and kissed her. A soft kiss that quickly
deepened as Lacey’s tongue again pushed into Karen’s mouth.
Finally, breaking the kiss, Karen had to ask, “Are…are we okay? I mean, about
the…arrest and the…”
“The molestation?” Lacey asked with a smirk. “Okay, but next time, I’d like to at
least be taken to dinner first.”
“Next time?” Karen’s heart leapt into her throat. “You…uh, you wanna…
With…me?”
“Yes, silly. I’ve been…interested in you for quite a while. And there’s no one
else around here that I’m even remotely into.”
“What about Brent?”
“That was…almost a mistake. He’s a great guy but…” Lacey paused then said,
“You’re more my type.”
With a wide smile, Karen simply said, “Great!”
They sealed the deal with another kiss. Longer, more passionate but softer and
more loving than those that came before.
“Now, help me down from here,” Lacey demanded. Then she added, “And lose
those pants…”
Karen almost hurt herself jumping down in her enthusiastic haste to comply with
Lacey’s demand.
A little more carefully, she got back onto the counter as Lacey leaned into her
sex.
“You are a real blonde,” Lacey commented as she saw the darker blonde hair
between Karen’s legs.
“Shut up and get to work,” Karen giggled.
“Ya know, this would be easier if my hands were free,” Lacey said. Karen’s
response was to put her hand on the back of Lacey’s head and gently push the
brunette into her.
She kissed Karen’s nether lips chastely then deeper, quickly French kissing the
woman’s sex. Her tongue began to paint designs on the supple, extremely
sensitive flesh and soon, Karen was making noises as she felt a much-desired
climax building inside her.
With only her lips and tongue, the talented restaurateur soon had the police
office panting and begging for release.
“Oh God! Oh…Lacey… Right there! Oh, again…
I…I…I’mmmm…gonnnnnnaaaa… I’m gonna cummmmmm…” The blonde’s
voice grew louder with each panting breath.
Lacey was doubly thrilled. She loved bringing the beautiful woman above her
near to her climax. And she was thrilled that the cop tasted so tangy and
sweet. She wanted more.
As the brunette dug further into the other woman’s nether regions with her
tongue, on a quest to find the source of the nectar flowing into her mouth, Karen
finally felt herself go over the edge into bliss.
“Laaaaacccceeee!!!”
* * *
Hank asked, “Didja hear that?”
“You mean that sound like Karen ready to kill you?” Brent asked.
“Nah, I didn’t hear anything,” Wanda said, shaking her head.
“Neither did I,” Hank decided.
* * *
Karen was panting, her face flushed and her movements unsteady as she
slowly got down and tried to stand. Lacey, unsuccessfully, tried to reach out to
steady her. Karen ended up leaning on her new lover as she slowly came down
from her orgasmic high.
Grabbing Lacey’s head, she pulled the brunette to her, kissing her deeply. Then
she licked her slickness of Lacey’s face before capturing her mouth again,
sharing her flavor with Lacey.
“That was…incredible,” Karen stated.
Lacey smiled, “Thank you. It’s been a while.”
“You’ve done this before?”
“Yeah. Back in Toronto , there was this club…”
“I know a place like that around here. In Wullerton,” Karen spit as she said the
name.
Lacey made a face. “One of these days, I’m gonna find out why everyone does
that…” Then she regarded the peace officer, “So, will you take me?” At Karen’s
evil smile, she quickly added, “There! Will you take me there?”
“So this isn’t a one-time thing?” Karen asked in a quiet voice.
“God, I hope not!” Lacey declared. “But, next time I get to play cop.”
“I’m not sure my uniform will fit…”
“Won’t need it for long,” Lacey promised before kissing Karen deeply and
slowly.
Breaking the kiss, Karen turned her new lover around and finally removed the
handcuffs. Then she regarded Lacey thoughtfully.
“What? Do I do something wrong?” the brunette asked self-consciously as she
massaged her wrists. Under her breath, she said, “We gotta get some of those
fur-lined ones…”
Karen shook her head, “No. I was just thinking…if we’re really going to be a
couple… We could go somewhere more private… You know, less people we
know and…”
“Where?”
“Well, like I said, there’s this place…in Wullerton.”
Both women spat simultaneously.
The End
(c) John O'Conner
Comments May Be Mailed Here