Love And Duty
by John O'Connor
Disclaimer:  Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the
property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom,
 MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko 
Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes
only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright
 infringement is intended. The original characters,
situations, and story are the property of the author.
Rating: PG-13.
Note: Sequel to "Love And Honor."
27 October 2000 0725 Hours MST
SGC Command Center, Cheyenne Mountain Complex,
Colorado
"Yessir. Thank you sir. I understand, sir," Major
Samantha Carter delivered a crisp salute to General
George Hammond before turning 180 degrees and exiting
his office. Hammond returned the salute and sat down,
knowing this wasn't the last such request he'd have to
deal with today. He wouldn't be surprised if everyone
in the SGC came in with a similar request. It was
going to be a long day.
Once the door closed behind her, Sam's posture went
from ramrod stiff to a worried slump. How would Janet
handle this?
Straightening up, she strode out of the command center
and down the corridor to her quarters. She slammed the
door as soon as she entered and fell back against it.
"Damn." Sam looked at the floor and repeated herself
more loudly, "Damn! DAMN!" She slammed her clenched
fist back against the door as if to emphasize her
frustration and sorrow.
She slowly walked over and sat on her cot, never
taking her eyes from the floor. She was tired. She
felt completely wrung out, physically and emotionally.
The worst part of it was her emotional anchor, the
love of her life wasn't talking to her.
Closing her eyes, Sam's thoughts drifted back in
time...
23 October 2000 1632 Hours GMT
Northern Israel
Israeli forces crossed the Lebanese border in force to
destroy PLO staging areas and stop attacks from the
north.
Within a matter of hours, Syrian artillery began to
blast the Golan Heights as infantry began to mass just
outside the Israeli border.
Over the course of the next few days, fighting flared
up along Israel's northern border. Syria crossed the
border with tanks and infantry and Israel was again at
war with one of it's Arab neighbors.
Calls for negotiations and cease fires go unheeded as
both nations pour their military resources into the
relatively small region of the Golan Heights.
On Wednesday, a terrorist set off a car bomb outside
of the Israeli Knesset, killing several dozen people,
including three minor cabinet officials and three
foreign reporters.
Finally, on Thursday, a specially-fitted Boeing 737
leaves Kennedy International Airport for the war zone.
The passengers include two American senators, an
undersecretary of state, and official representatives
of the Secretary General of the United Nations.
Just as the flight was crossing the Israeli coast
enroute for Jerusalem, something, presumed to be a
SAM, destroyed the plane in the air. There were no
survivors.
The president put all military forces on heightened
alert and began to implement plans to use American
forces as a buffer between the warring parties.
Sam sat on the couch in the living room of the house
she shared with Janet and Cassie, watching the news
unfold on CNN. A correspondent was standing in an
Israeli village that was near the crash site, saying
nothing new about the crash.
Sam had reached a decision and was worrying about
Janet's reaction. Regardless of the conversation they
had before, Sam wasn't sure Janet would accept her
choice.
Janet stood nervously outside the living room
listening to the drone of the TV and growing
increasingly uneasy as she heard what was being said.
Taking a deep breath, she stepped into the room and
sat next to Sam on the couch.
Sam kept her eyes fixed on the television as she said,
"Janet, remember what we talked about a couple of
weeks ago?"
"No Sam. I don't want to hear it. If I don't hear it,
it won't happen," Janet declared.
"Hon, I have to go. I have a duty to go. You're Air
Force, you must understand." Sam looked at Janet and
felt a shock of alarm go through her when she saw the
look in the other woman's eyes.
Janet stood up and yelled, "Fuck your duty! What about
your duty to Cassie? To me? Tomorrow is our first
anniversary, are you even aware of that?"
"Janet, I know what tomorrow is, and I do love and
care about you and Cass. How can you think otherwise?"
"Then don't go. You know, I wanted us to spend the
weekend together loving each other. Naked and making
love every chance we had. Now all I'll be able to do
is worry about you and about the possibility that I'll
lose you. I can't deal with that, Sam! It's not fair!"
Janet began to quietly cry.
Sam feeling a stab of guilt that she could hurt this
woman, reached out to her love, and Janet shrank away
with a strangled "No."
"Janet..."
"Goddamnit!" Janet said. "Goddamn the Air Force!
Goddamn the fucking Arabs and Israelis! And goddamn
you, Sam!"
Janet was sobbing as she said this, then turned and
ran up the stairs, slamming the door to their bedroom.
"Janet..." Sam whispered to an empty room.
She buried her face in her hands and fought back her
tears. Finally she stood and slowly climbed the
stairs. Standing in front of the door to the bedroom
they had shared for most of the past year, Sam began
to reach for the knob. She paused hearing Janet crying
quietly inside. Her hand dropped to her side and she
turned away.
'Thank God Cassie is with Janet's mother for a long
visit. This would be even harder if she was here,' Sam
thought then she chuckled bitterly. 'I hurt he woman I
love, she probably hates me. How could it be harder?'
Sitting on the couch watching the television, Sam
replayed the scene over and over in her head. 'God, I
fucked everything up! I'm so sorry, Janet. I love
you.'
Laying apart for the first time in almost a year,
excluding times Sam was offworld, neither woman got
much sleep that night.
27 October 2000 1030 Hours MST
SGC Personnel Quarters, Cheyenne Mountain Complex,
Colorado
Sam had to tell Janet about seeing Hammond, but would
the woman even talk to her? When Sam woke up on the
couch this morning, Janet had already left for the
complex. There was no note, no coffee made, nothing at
all.
"Oh God, Janet," she moaned out loud.
Sam jerked her head up when she heard a soft knock on
her door. "Whoever it is, go away."
"Sam, open the door," a familiar voice said.
Sam almost leaped across the room, then stopped to
wipe her eyes before opening the door. "Janet...I,
uh...I'm so sor..."
"Sam, wait. Hear me out please," Janet interrupted,
looking at the floor. Sam closed the door and waited.
"I'm sorry about the way I acted last night. I was a
stupid, selfish woman. Don't shake your head, I was.
And I am, when it comes to you. I don't want to lose
you. This past year has been the best year of my life
and it's all because of you. I love you and I want you
in my life for as long as I can have you. But if that
means not here, I suppose I have to learn to live with
that." She looked up into Sam's puzzled eyes and
continued, "I went to see the general this morning,
before you got into the complex."
"Janet, did you go to tell him not to let me go?" Sam
asked, a trace of anger in her voice.
"No. I'd never do that. I went to volunteer my
services. I figured even if we weren't in the same
command, at least I'd be nearer and maybe could help
you if you needed it. It has nothing to do with duty,
duty to the Air Force I mean. It's about my duty to
you, to be there to support you." Janet paused.
Sam let the silence stretch out as she absorbed this
new information. Finally, fearful of the answer, she
asked, "So, is he going to let you go?"
Janet shook her head, "No, he's not going to let
anyone go from the SGC. There are apparently multiple
reasons but mainly it's the security risk. If any of
the people here were captured, they might spill the
beans on this mess we work at, I guess." Janet offered
a weak smile
Sam felt a wave of relief wash through her when she
heard Janet wasn't going into a warzone. 'Was this
fear what she felt for so long?' Sam marveled. 'How
could she handle it?' Sam wondered at the strength in
the smaller woman. 'Could I have held it in as long?'
Sam wondered. 'No, I couldn't.'
"He told me that, too. He didn't tell me about not
letting anyone else go, though. He did say we were a
frontline against the Goa'uld and couldn't be spared,"
Sam said. "So are we going to be okay?"
"Sam, I've never lied to you and I'm not going to
start now. I will always be fearful and worried when
you go offworld. I've managed to deal with it so far,
I guess I can somehow learn to deal with it for the
rest of our lives, if that's what it takes to be with
you. But, don't expect me to be happy about it," Janet
looked deep into Sam's blue eyes, taking the officer's
strong hands in hers. "Can we try that?"
Sam felt tears again and nodded. "I want to. I can't
see my life with out you either. I don't want to. I
can't promise not to hurt you by going on missions, it
is my job. But I can promise I'll do anything I have
to so I come back to you."
They sat on the bed for several long moments before
Janet whispered, "I love you, Samantha Carter."
"I love you, Janet Fraiser."
They hugged each other and let their tears flow.
After several minutes, Sam pulled back slightly and
pressed her forehead to Janet's and looked into those
beautiful brown eyes. "You had said something about us
spending the weekend naked?"
Janet smiled at Sam, "I didn't want anything between
us on our anniversary. Not even a nightie."
"Well, this was our first really big fight and I hear
make-up sex is pretty fantastic..."
"I love you. Happy Anniversary, hon," Janet smiled.
Sam smiled and said, "Happy Anniversary, my love."
They shared a tender, loving kiss before Janet stood
and said, "I'll see you back home around 6?"
Sam smiled and nodded.
"What are you smiling about?" Janet asked.
"I was just enjoying the image of you greeting me at
the door nude. It's a lovely image..."
Janet smiled and stepped out. Sam sat there for a
moment then thought, 'If I can get out of here by 5
o'clock, I can stil get a bottle of wine and a dozen
roses...'
 (c) John O'Conner
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