Control
by  John O'Connor
Disclaimer:  "Star Trek", it's characters, locations,
etc are copyright Paramount Pictures.  No infringment
for profit is intended.  This is strictly for fun.
Notes: 
 This is an entry in the Fifth Round for the
femme_fuhq_fest. Others can be found at
geocities.com/femme_fuhq_fest  Check'em 
out, they're really very good.
Inspirations
The tall, raven-haired officer lay quietly, one arm
gently holding her lover close.  She stared unseeing
at the ceiling panels of her quarters, illuminated by
the myriad candles around the room.  Her thoughts, as
often happened after a session of love-making but
rarely at any other time, drifted aimlessly back to
the most memorable love of her life...
* * * * * *
Planet Vulcan, 2236 AD (Earth standard)
The cadet paused on the gently-ascending slope,
breathing hard and perspiring worse than she ever had.
 Worse than even the Academy survival course in Death
Valley when she was a plebe.
The heat and the thin air seemed to conspire against
human physiology, even her engineered physiology.
Grabbing the small canteen on her belt, she put it to
her lips.  It was such a temptation to drain the
lukewarm water but she merely took enough to moisten
the inside of her mouth before sealing the container
and returning it to her belt.
She shielded her eyes from the glare of Vulcan sun and
looked towards the summit.  Fortunately it was closer
than she had thought.  Unfortunately, the way ahead
steepened and the ground grew rougher and more rocky.
Even worse, her mentor was already at the summit
looking down on her.
Wiping the perspiration from her forehead, she
shrugged her backpack into a slightly more comfortable
position and started to trudge in the direction of the
older Vulcan.
"Cadet, you must overcome this weakness for heat and
thin atmospheres.  In a combat situation, you might
very well not have the opportunity to stop and drink
from your flask."  The Vulcan had started speaking
even before the girl had reached her.
"My apologies, T'Pol," she said sarcastically.  "My
people come from a different climate and it takes more
than a standard day to acclimate."
"Your weakness could be your undoing.  I saw many fall
during the Earth-Romulan War unnecessarily.  You must
overcome these weaknesses.  Pain, thirst, fatigue, all
can be overcome," T'Pol stated, raising a dark eyebrow
slightly.
"If we ignore pain or thirst, we could just as easily
kill ourselves.  They are indicators of what our
bodies need," the cadet countered.
"I did not say ignore these feelings. Control.  You
must learn when to give in to them and when not to."
T'Pol paused for a moment.  "I suppose it would be
illogical to expect you to be able to differentiate
between your body's needs and it's wants.  Most
humanoid species can not."
The younger woman was getting angry, the heat and the
stoicism of the Vulcan woman before her combined to
overcome her deference to authority learned through
Academy training.  "What the hell do you know about
humans?  You people are cold, calculating machines!
The only emotions or feelings you've ever shown were
pride and disdain."  Turning away, she muttered under
her breath, "Fucking ice-blooded bitch! I wish I'd
been sent to Andoria..."
T'Pol stood quietly for several long moments before
replying to the young human's outburst.  "I served
many years with humans on Earth's first practical
starship.  I learned much dealing with my crewmates.
I even took a...a lover while aboard the Enterprise."
Thinking she'd heard wrong, the cadet spun around so
fast she almost blacked out.  Slowly shaking her head,
she said, "A lover?  I didn't know Vulcans had
lovers."
"I am using the human term as there is no real analogy
in Vulcan.  But we were intimate far beyond the
limitations of pon'farr."  T'Pol didn't elaborate on
the Vulcan mating cycle, it was not for others to know
of.  Nor the fact that the females could, and often
did, act on their physical urges more often than the
7-year span the male Vulcans endured.
"So, who was he?"  The student reflected on her recent
history courses, "Captain Archer?  Malcolm
what's-his-name?  Tripper?"
"It is unimportant.  Let us return to the compound."
"Was it the doctor?  Flox?"
The questions went unanswered as T'Pol was already
fifty meters down the slope.  Retying her long black
hair, she followed.  "No, couldn't be Flox.  He's not
human..."
From below, T'Pol's voice drifted up, "Idle speech is
counterproductive and will only tire you faster."
"Damn!" the cadet muttered under her breath.  She'd be
happy when this training camp ended in another eight
weeks and she could return to Earth.
That evening, a clear, cold, starry night, she crossed
the compound from the small barracks she'd been
assigned.  T'Pol had summoned her to come to her
personal quarters after the evening meal.  What did
the Ice Queen want now?
The older Vulcan stood in the middle of her room,
various lit candles placed in seemingly random order
about the place.  "I wish to speak with you regarding
your attitude.  I have seen the reports from your
instructors at Star Fleet Academy and know you to be
an exceptional student but undisciplined and chaotic.
That is the reason you were sent to Vulcan for your
off-world training."
The young woman was chagrined.  When T'Pol hadn't said
anything, she thought that her comment had been missed
or ignored.  "I...  I shouldn't have said..."
T'Pol cut her off.  "It does not matter what you said
or what your opinion of me is.  I have no feelings to
injure.  What is important, for you and for Star
Fleet, is that you learn to control your baser
emotions.  I will show some techniques of control."
Gesturing towards the woven mats on the floor, the
Vulcan said, "Sit."
Moving smoothly into the lotus position, the cadet
watched with growing irritation as T'Pol sat before
her and began to quietly meditate.
Finally, after several minutes of silence, she
couldn't help but exclaim, "What good is this?  What
is this supposed to show me?"
T'Pol opened her eyes, the dark pupils reflected the
candlelight.  "I had hoped to lead by example.  I see
that will not be sufficient.  Very well."
The woman stood and the cadet marveled at the ease of
movement for a woman nearly a Terran century old.
Then she berated herself for forgetting Vulcan life
spans.  This woman was barely middle-aged.  And
carried the years well, some lines near her eyes, and
some gray in her short, bobbed hair.  The cadet
wondered if her engineering would allow her to look as
good when she was that age.
Retrieving a candle from a nearby shelf, T'Pol
returned and again sat before the young woman.  "Look.
 Not at the flame but beyond.  Close your mind to all
else.  Concentrate beyond the flame."
The cadet's eyes were still on the shelf.  There was a
holo of a young, smiling Asian woman.  She looked
familiar but she couldn't recall why.  It was irksome
to her.
"Cadet.  Cadet!" T'Pol said in a quietly commanding
tone.  "Please attend to my wishes."
"Yeah, alright.  I'll try."  She sat and stared at the
candle.  There was no relaxation, no meditation, just
irritation to her eyes from the bright flame.
"You are not looking beyond the object.  Do not stare
at the flame.  See beyond it.  Ignore everything but
the beyond."
Maybe it was something in the deep Vulcan voice, but
the student suddenly was no longer seeing the light,
no longer feeling the room around her.  All she felt
was a deep sensation of warmth and comfort.  And the
pleasing drone of T'Pol's voice.
The girl woke with a start after falling over sideways
onto the floor.  What the...?  The hike must have
taken more out of her than she realized.  She hadn't
meditated, just fallen asleep.
"Damn!  Any more bright ideas?" the student asked with
a sneer.  She struggled back into a lotus position.
T'Pol, with typical Vulcan smugness the student
thought, cocked an eyebrow but said nothing for the
moment.  Once the girl was settled, the Vulcan began
to speak.
"I believe I was too rash to start you on that phase
of meditation.  I had hoped that your childhood had
prepared you for such practices.  Obviously I was
incorrect in my assumption.  Control requires calm.
Very well, this was a simple method I used on a
crewmate," T'Pol's glance darted to the holo on the
shelf, "as we were trapped on a Klingon vessel.  Give
me your hand..."
The girl noticed T'Pol glancing at the picture but
said nothing.  She extended her hand and felt T'Pol's
warm grip on her wrist.  T"Pol's other hand began to
trace designs on her palm.  "Close your eyes.  Imagine
you are at sea and the waves are cresting high above
you.  Now, calm the waves.  Calm the storm.  Picture
the waves growing smaller and smaller until they are
little more than gentle swells."
The cadet surprised herself.  She could see the stormy
ocean and she found she could calm the storm.  By
happy circumstance, or so she thought, her mental
agitation was calmed as well.  This was incredible!
"Do you see the sea at peace?"
"Yes.  This is remarkable."
"No, merely a simple technique to remain calm."
"Will this work all the time?"
"It is a convenient...first step.  I can show you how
to achieve this peace and other, deeper methods as
well.  If you will allow me."
Her earlier irritation and anger effectively gone, the
young woman said, "Yes.  I want you to show me
everything.  Can we start now?"
"No.  You are obviously fatigued.  Return to your
quarters and come to me tomorrow."  T'Pol rose and
helped the younger woman up.  "Remember to calm the
waves."
"I will.  Thank you."  T'Pol bowed in farewell as the
cadet left her chambers.
She stopped at the door, turned and was about to say
something when she saw the Vulcan pick up the holo.
There seemed to be a sadness about her, as much as
there ever was for a Vulcan.  The girl looked down and
quietly left T'Pol to her memories.
The next few days were more of the same: stressful,
strenuous calisthenics in the thin air and blistering
sun followed by simple meditation lessons in T'Pol's
quarters after the Vulcan sun had set.
She had to admit to herself, but never to T'Pol, that
she had faked her inability to grasp the simplest of
relaxation techniques simply because she enjoyed the
warmth of the Vulcan's touch.  But after several
nights of meditation lessons, she knew she wouldn't be
able to continue to fool the older woman, if she had
at all.
'I want her,' came the amazing discovery to the young
woman as she jogged around a large complex of natural
hot springs.  'I want her.  Sexually.'
The sudden acceptance of her subconscious desires
brought her to a halt near a boiling mud pit.  While
thick, viscous ooze bubbled near her, the cadet stood
and observed the older woman now fifty meters from
her.  It wasn't the fact of T'Pol's gender, she had
female lovers before.  It was the sudden change in her
personal view of her instructor, yesterday she
would've sworn she could cheerfully strangle the older
woman.  Today, she wanted to...
T'Pol noticed her student had halted during the
exercise and turned to her.  "Is there a problem?" she
shouted across the steaming ground.
"Uh, no.  No problem!  Just catching my breath," she
lied.
That evening, after another typical Vulcan meal, she
arrived at T'Pol's rather spartan quarters.  She
commented on the lack of decoration.
"My...friend on Enterprise told me the same thing,"
T'Pol said, raising her eyebrow in the closest she had
to a smile.
"Was this your lover?" she asked.
"Yes."
Picking up the holo, she persisted, "Was this she?"
"Yes."
"She's lovely.  I recognize her now.  Hoshi Sato, the
communications officer.  She was an expert translator
as I recall."
"She was quite talented.  Her gift for different
languages was unique among humans.  Now, sit.  We will
continue with your training." T'Pol sat on the mat.
"Tell me about her, please.  What happened to her?"
T'Pol closed her eyes for a moment, as if composing
herself.  "I suppose I must tell you or you will
continue to question me and we will accomplish
nothing."  The younger woman nodded and T'Pol
continued, "I will tell you.
"We spent several private times together when we were
off-duty as I attempted to teach her relaxation
techniques.  As a result of personal changes, I was
content to be alone but she, with typical human
persistence, refused to allow that to happen."
"Personal changes?"
"An arranged marriage was cancelled."
"And Hoshi?  She seduced you?"
"You seem to see more than most humans.  Yes, she
seduced me.  I was unprepared for this occurrence but,
out of curiosity, I decided to allow it."
"How long were you lovers?"
"Several standard years as we served together on
Enterprise."
"You must have cared for her quite a bit."
T'Pol looked at the holo for a moment then replied, "I
felt...comfortable with her.  She was an interesting
human.  Very reserved, almost Vulcan in some respects.
 While she was excited by exploring, she was also
often quite fearful.  The techniques I taught helped
but there were times she felt she needed to be
embraced.  I was willing to assist her."
The cadet snorted a laugh, "But you did love her.  You
still do."
"Love is an emotion Vulcans do not experience.  Nor do
we wish to."
"Bullshit."  The student seldom swore but found times
when Terran invectives seemed to fit.
"I have no reason to lie to you."
"Then, if you don't care, why do you have a holo of
her where you can see it?  Why won't you look me in
the eye when you talk about her?"
"Very well," T'Pol said.  She looked at her student
and the young woman was surprised.  For a very brief
moment, she saw pain in the Vulcan's eyes.
"I'm sorry.  I didn't mean...  Please, tell me what
happened to her."
T'Pol raised her eyebrow again, as if to say her
apologies were not needed.  But she did continue,
saying simply, "The war."
"The Earth-Romulan War?"  T'Pol nodded.  "Did she
die?"
"When war broke out, I was recalled to Vulcan to aid
our leaders in decisions regarding the war.  At the
time, Vulcan was essentially neutral.  Several of us
insisted that we should help the Earth and it's
colonies.  Others recall the humans stance regarding
our problems with the Andorians and argued that we
stay out.  As you know, we remained neutral throughout
the conflict."
The cadet wasn't interested in history lessons and
said so, "I know what happened during the war.  It's a
course in itself at the Academy.  I want to know about
Hoshi."
T'Pol looked at her young pupil with hooded eyes, "She
and the Enterprise were in the thick of the fighting.
As you know, old-style nuclear weapons were used as
well as phase cannons for the few close-range battles
that were fought.  A nuclear device detonated within a
few kilometers of the Enterprise's primary hull.  The
polarization of the hull plating did little to block
the hard radiation.  Most of the crew, as was the case
in many of the ships that fought the Romulans, were
rendered sterile."
"Oh, I didn't know that.  It's not in any of the
histories."
"It wasn't deemed necessary that the public be given
all the facts of the war.  There is much that is still
classified."
"Yes, I know.  I had trouble with my thesis because of
that.  But, Hoshi?"
"We had talked often before about family.  Family
meant much to her.  As I said, there were aspects of
her that were almost Vulcan.  She and I had discussed
our having a child artificially.  We even planned to
do so after the war.  Then, she was injured.  Her
injuries complicated the sterility and she would never
be able to have children.
"After the war, we met again in San Francisco.  She
was stronger than I remembered.  We tried to resume
our relationship but she...  The fact that she could
no longer bear our child drove a wedge between us.
The idea of my carrying our child didn't matter.  She
wanted...  I haven't heard from her in over fifty
standard years."  T'Pol's voice trailed off and she
stood.  Walking away from the girl, she picked up the
holo image.
The cadet came up behind her and place a hand gently
on the Vulcan's shoulder.  "Have you been alone all
this time?" she whispered.
T'Pol did not respond but her shoulder tensed under
the soft touch.  She placed her other hand on the
older woman's other shoulder and began to gently
massage the older woman.  She spoke softly as she
massaged T'Pol, "Please, let me help.  You've done so
much for me.  Let me help you."
In an equally quiet voice, T'Pol answered, "How?"
She kissed the point of one of T'Pol's ears and the
older woman couldn't completely suppress a shudder at
the contact.  Then, turning the older woman to face
her, the dark-haired girl kissed T'Pol gently.
"This is not..."
"Ssh!  This is needed.  You need it.  And I want it.
Let it happen."
T'Pol said nothing as the girl kissed her again.  Her
mouth opened under the insistent tongue.  Student and
teacher quietly kissed in the candle-lit room.
Opening the Vulcan robe, the girl let her hands slide
over the warm, soft flesh of her tutor.  Full breasts
weighed heavily in her hands.  T'Pol gasped at the
contact, her breath forced into the other's mouth.
She knew she had T'Pol where she, they both wanted to
be.  While still exploring the Vulcan woman's mouth,
she slid one hand down the flat stomach and to the
edge of the tight curls at the juncture of her thighs.
Breaking the kiss, she pushed the robe completely off
T'Pol, saying, "I want to see you.  All of you."
She was not disappointed.  Looking from the cap of
short, graying hair to the slender, delicate looking
feet, she admired the Vulcan's trim, shapely body.
She was captivated.  The large breasts still rode high
on her chest, capped with perfect areola and hard
nipples.  Below the slight indentation of her navel,
T'Pol had a small triangle of black and gray, the
treasure beneath barely hidden by the curly hair.
She leaned over and took a nipple in her mouth.  As
she started to suckle, T'Pol placed a hand on the back
of her head, gently holding her to the woman's breast.
She licked around the edge of the rose-colored areola
then the base of the erect nipple before flicking the
tip of her tongue across the head of that nipple.
This was followed by a gentle nipping tug.  The young
woman followed this pattern for several minutes as
T'Pol's breathing became more and more ragged.  Then
it was time to do the same on the other breast.
"May I?" she asked.  Without waiting for an answer,
she knelt before her teacher and kissed the soft skin
of her lower stomach.  Then she ran her tongue along
the line at the top of the salt and pepper pubic hair.
 The musky aroma of T'Pol's arousal came to her as she
traced the edges of the woman's pubic area.
Hearing T'Pol's breath hitch once, she smiled to
herself and parted the outer lips to tickle the inner
labia with the tip of her tongue.  That brief taste
made her quickly decide to stop teasing.  She wanted
to fully experience the older Vulcan.
T'Pol shuddered briefly again as her tongue slid
between the lower lips.  The taste was unique to her
experience, a mix of heady spices with an almost oaken
texture.  Much like a fine wine.  She wanted more and
probed deeper into the Vulcan.
T'Pol's hands raked through her long, black hair ash
she kissed and licked the woman's sex.  She gently
nuzzled the Vulcan's clitoris with the tip of her
nose, bringing another shudder to the normally stoic
woman.
Enough of this, she decided after thoroughly exploring
the wondrous delights between T'Pol's legs.  She slid
two finger into T'Pol as her mouth fastened around the
hard little clit.
Applying suction to the nubbin as well as her tongue,
she spread her fingers in the wet, velvety heat wide
before sliding a third into the tight hole.  The
combination broke through the last vestige of T'Pol's
control and the Vulcan moaned loudly as she climaxed.
She was amazed that T'Pol didn't fall as she came.
Helping the Vulcan to recline, she stayed near the
woman's now molten core, occasionally licking at the
hot, spicy juices.  When she wasn't sampling the
woman's sex, she was running her tongue through the
gray pubes to get every trace of moisture she could.
Finally, T'Pol pulled her face away, "Enough."
She crawled up next to the naked Vulcan and kissed
her.  T'Pol was slow to respond (something the other
would come to accept in the weeks to come) but soon
she parried the invading tongue with her own and began
to return the kisses in a distinctly non-Vulcan
manner.
Breaking away, T'Pol looked into her lover's dark eyes
and said, "I believe I owe you the favor of
reciprocating."
"Only if you want to," came the quiet, hopeful reply.
"Please remove your clothes," T'Pol commanded.  As she
hurried to comply, the older woman continued, "I never
initiated anything with Hoshi.  I do not know how well
I will be able to fulfill your needs."
Tossing the last of her garments aside, the cadet lay
down with T'Pol and replied, "Just do what you feel
you can and remember what pleased you."
Nodding. T'Pol lowered her head and began to kiss the
other woman's breasts.  She was almost mechanical at
first but soon lost her natural reserves and began to
seriously arouse the younger woman.
When T'Pol moved between her legs, she again started
to perform as if copying the act performed on her.
But, as before, she lost her inhibitions.  The
Vulcan's tongue roved over every bit of hot flesh
before dipping inside to taste the young woman beneath
her.  Through the use of her supple tongue and long,
dexterous fingers, she brought the younger woman to a
screaming climax.
When T'Pol raised her face from the sated woman's
mound, her chin and cheeks glistened with her nectar.
The Vulcan sensuously licked her lips as she crawled
up the other's supine body.  The girl licked herself
off T'Pol's face before T'Pol brought their lips
together, initiating a wet, passionate kiss.
They spent the night naked in each other's arms,
trading soft caresses and loving kisses.  The cadet
was thrilled by this so-well hidden side of her
instructor as well as feeling honored that T'Pol let
her see this secret part of herself.
As Vulcan's sun crested the horizon, the young woman
quietly left her new love and returned to her
quarters.
This was the last time she stayed there.  For the next
several weeks of her training, she lived with T'Pol.
She even came to realize that, in private, T'Pol
enjoyed letting go as much as she enjoyed melting the
icy Vulcan facade.  When not restricted by Vulcan
habits, the older woman was quite an exciting lover.
But, with the rising of the Vulcan sun, that control,
which guides virtually all aspects of Vulcan life,
returned.  The young woman jokingly called her Jekyll
during the day and Ms. Hyde at night.  T'Pol merely
raised an eyebrow each time.
The two women carried on their affair quietly while
the student's training went on, their private passion
belied by their public demeanor.  The student found
herself quickly accepting many of the calming and the
control techniques shown her by her lover.  Her love
and admiration grew in her while she simultaneously
learned how to suppress the outward signs.
She cried quietly on her last night as T'Pol held her.
 It was the last time anyone saw such an emotional
outburst from the young cadet.  The next day she said
goodbye to the lovely Vulcan and returned to Earth for
her final term before graduation.
Her instructors and her advisors at the Academy were
amazed at the change in the formerly chaotic, rarely
cooperative student.  They began to reevaluate sending
cadets anywhere else for their off-world training than
Vulcan.
As the years progressed, her lessons and further
studies removed all apparent traces of emotions from
her.  She was called names behind her back and even to
her face: Ice Princess, Queen Bitch, among others.
She never allowed her detractors to know she even
heard them.  While never completely divorced from her
emotions, the control was all-important and, to her, a
tribute to the woman she loved and admired.  She would
remain this way until the day she died.
* * * * * *
USS Enterprise, First Officer's Quarters, 2254 AD
(pre-Stardate reckoning)
Number One lay quietly, remembering how the older,
wiser Vulcan had taken her and taught her so much.
How to handle stressful situations.  How to remain
calm as chaos erupted about her.  How to accept who
and what she was.  How to be at peace.
Glancing at the young blonde in her arms, Number One
allowed a very rare, small smile to appear.  She
didn't know if she was in love with this girl.
However, after the incredible events on Talos IV, J.T.
Colt, Captain Pike's newest yeoman, had reached a part
of her that few had since her cadet years.
Remembering J.T.'s reactions in the Talosian cell,
Number One considered tutoring her in methods of calm
and control...
 (c) John O'Conner
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