Communications Breakdown
by John O'Connor
Disclaimer:  Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the
property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom,
 MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko 
Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes
only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright
 infringement is intended. The original characters,
situations, and story are the property of the author.

Rating: PG-13 to mild R (language & adult situations)

Notes:

1) Thanks to Geonn for the cherry suggestion. 
Priceless.

2) Mentions of "Ascension", "Entity" and "Message In A
Bottle" (possible slight spoilers).

3) Submitted for the 2nd part of the 2nd Shatterstorm
Challenge:  How to use these words and terms in a
story? Full moon, Discovery Channel, astrophysics,
president, defibrillator, "try the paddles.",
nevermore, wild horses, "Pull my turtle.", "triple
grande latte, light caramel syrup, no foam, 150
degrees."
Janet Fraiser got out of her car, the area around her
awash in the silver light of the moon.  
'Full moon,' she thought.  'Looks big tonight.'
As she headed up the walk to her porch, she juggled
her keys in one hand to get to the front door keys. 
On the way up, she saw the wavering blue light of the
television in her living room. 
Worriedly she paused.  No one was home.  Cass was
supposed to out with Dominic until 11:15 at the
absolute earliest.  Did she or Cass leave it on
earlier?
Then Janet saw the bike under the tree near the
garage, a classic Indian motorcycle.  Sam.  
'Of course!  Her house is being rebuilt after that
weirdness with Orlin and her homemade Gate.'
Relieved, she entered the house.  "He-ey!"
"Hi Janet," came the cheery greeting from the living
room.  "How's things at the base?"
"Good.  Whatcha watchin'?"  Janet shrugged out of her
uniform jacket as she glanced at the screen.
"Discovery Channel.  They are supposed to be covering
the latest in astrophysics but..."  Sam trailed off,
shaking her head.  She reached over and switched on
the light next to her.
"So it's all old hat to you?"
"Yeah."
"Well, Sam, what do you expect?  Most of what you know
is still classified so..."
"Well, it's okay.  'South Park' is almost on."
"Oh yeah.  Remind me to thank you for introducing that
wonderful show to my daughter."
"What?" Sam asked innocently.  
Janet just shook her head and went up to her room to
change into more comfortable clothes than her dress
blues.
On her way back downstairs, she heard Cartman's
high-pitched, whiny voice shout, "Respect mah
authawratay!"  
She forced herself not to smile as she entered the
front room again.  She actually did find some aspects
of the show funny but she'd never admit it.  And a
round, little, construction-paper kid playing "CHiPs"
on a Big Wheel qualified, especially when he whacked
other characters in the shins with his billy club.
'Hmm...maybe I should get one of those...  Might come
in handy with recalcitrant officers.'
"When did you tell Cass she had to be home?" Sam
asked, barely looking away from the set.
"I gave her a curfew of 11 PM.  Which means she'll be
home no earlier than 11:15."
Sam nodded.  
"I hear the President will be at the Academy
graduation this term."
Janet smirked, "Which president?"
Sam just shook her head, she and Janet had disagreed
on who should be in the White House.  And Sam had long
ago decided never argue politics with a woman who had
access to needles and other implements of pain.
She glanced over at Janet and said, "Have I thanked
you for letting me stay here?"
"Today or at all?  Yes, you have.  Several times.  And
I have told you it's a pleasure to have you.  Helps
relieve some of the parent/teenager stress.  And I
have someone I can talk to about work."
"I like that too."
A moment later, the front door slammed and Cassie
stormed in yelling "Goddamnit!"  
Sam tried not to smile, she sounded like Cartman just
then.  Janet, on the other hand, was not amused.
"Young lady!  What did we discuss about language?"
"Well...I'm sorry!" Cassie said in a voice that
indicated she was anything but sorry.
"What's the matter?" Sam asked, standing and walking
towards the foyer.
"Dominic took my cherry!  Without even asking!"
"Wha...?"  
Sam's question was cut off by the thump of Janet's
body hitting the floor.
"Janet?!?"
"Mom?!?"
The two conscious women knelt on either side of the
prone doctor.  Cassie nervously stroked Janet's
forehead while Sam felt for a pulse.
"What happened?  Did Mom have a...a heart attack?"
Sam shook her head, still holding Janet's wrist
gently.  "No.  No need for a defibrillator."  Sam
looked up, her eyes sharply focused on the teen.  "Not
yet, anyway.  What the hell do you mean he stole your
cherry?"
"Off my sundae.  The creep took my cherry off the
whipped cream and ate it before I could stop him."
Sam's eyes softened slightly then shifted down to
Janet who was starting to move.  
The dark brown eyes fluttered open and she stared into
Sam's eyes as if seeking answers to unasked questions.
Sam moved her hand from Janet's wrist to clasp her
hand and help the doctor to her feet.  "It's okay. 
You just passed out..."
"Passed out?"  Janet was alarmed.  Then her face
shifted from confusion to a mix of anger and horror. 
"Dominic..."
Sam shook her head.  "Nope.  Not what you think. 
Mistake in communication."
"But...  Cass?  Did Dominic...hurt you?"
Suddenly, as it a switch was thrown, Cassandra
understood what had happened - what she had said. 
"NO!  No!  Nothing like that!  Jeez!  What do you guys
think I am?"
Janet didn't say anything.  She was still trying to
figure out what had happened when Sam spoke up.
"Janet, the kid lost the cherry on her sundae.  Not...
 Not that."
"Sundae?"  Janet was still confused but the horror
left her face to be replaced with anger.  "Cassandra
Fraiser, do not ever tell me that again!"
"Janet," Sam interrupted.  "Calm down.  You're getting
red..."
"And that vein is throbbing in your fore..."
Sam cut off Cassie with a sharp look.
"Janet, calm down.  It was an honest mistake.  If you
don't settle down I may have to get a defib machine
and try the paddles."
"Huh?"  Janet shook her head.  She was stunned by her
own reaction to this whole incident.  What was wrong
with her?
"Lis...listen.  I'm sorry.  I don't know what...  I
guess my anger was a delayed reaction or...  I'm
sorry."
Janet hugged Cassie while Sam looked on with a small
smile.  "It's okay, Mom.  I wasn't thinking either.  I
was just so mad..."
The Fraisers broke apart when the phone rang.  Cassie
grabbed the cordless from the cradle.  As she
answered, her face darkened. 
"Oh.  It's you.  I don't want to talk...  Dominic,
I...  Will you shut up?  Domin...Domi...  DOMINIC!"
The adults stared at each other.  Their girl was
really upset.
"I know you're sorry but...  Well, maybe if you got me
a present..."  Cassie wandered out of the room idly
chatting on the phone.
"Don't be on too long!" Janet called.
"Guess that's another crisis averted," Sam said.
"For now.  But what about when she means it?" Janet
asked.
"We'll deal with it."
"We will?" Janet asked.
"Yes.  Look, I haven't always been the biggest help to
you with her.  Hell, I practically dumped her in your
lap back when...  Anyway, I've given this some thought
and...
"I was going to bring this up later but now is as good
a time as any.  I want to do more.  To spend more time
with Cassie.  And...and you.  I have been spending so
much time buried in the Mountain..."
"What brought this on?" Janet asked, sitting next to
Sam on the small sofa.
"Lots of things.  After that probe moved my mind..." 
Sam shuddered at the memory of being lost in
cyberspace.  "I felt so cut off from everyone and
everything that matters.  Dad, Mark and his family... 
But especially you and Cassandra.  And then other
things kept popping up...  Cassie's birthday and..."
"Sam, I understand.  And you should know you're always
welcome here.  Anytime.  Cassie loves you.  And she
loves having you around."  Janet paused and, in a
lower voice, said, "More than me lately."
"Thank you."  Sam hugged Janet tightly, her nose
buried in the still-fragrant auburn hair.
"You always have a place here," Janet said into Sam's
flannel shirt.  "Now, no more self-pity."  
"Nevermore."  Sam chuckled.  
"Seriously, Sam, you're as much a member of Cassie's
family as I am.  And..."
"And?"
"I kinda like having you around too."  Janet smiled,
her face lighting up.
"Undomesticated equines then..."
"Huh?  Is that a band?"  Janet was clearly confused by
the apparent non-sequitor.
"No, goof!  Remember when Jack was pinned to the wall
by that alien pod?  Teal'c said that rather than..."
Sam shook her head, she knew Janet had other things on
her mind at the time.  "Never mind.  I meant wild
horse can't drag me away."
Janet smiled.  
"Now then, Doctor.  What's your problem?" 
"Huh?  I don't have a problem."
"Don't pull my turtle."
"What?  Is this some new slang?  What are you saying?"
"You know...pull my turtle.  Yank my chain.   I can
understand before we knew what she was talking about
but why did you get so upset afterwards? "
"I...I don't know."
"Janet, I have never accused you of being anything but
the best damned doctor in the Air Force but I have to
tell you, you are a liar."
"Sam..."
"Lie-yar!" Sam said in a sing-song way, her smile
lightening the meaning.  Then she glanced at Janet's
denim skirt, "At least your pants can't catch fire..."
"Alright.  I guess I was upset 'cause Cassie has more
of a love life than I do."
"What are you talking about?"
"When was the last time I went on a date?"  Sam
shrugged.  "See?  And when I have had the rare evening
out, I never see the guy again."
"Yeah, but Janet, at least you don't have them die on
you.  Anyway, who could you date that would be able to
appreciate what a beautiful, caring person you are? 
Really no one without sufficient security clearance."
"Yeah but..."
"AAAHHHH!!!"  Sam held up her hand, stifling Janet's
fledgling protest.  "You can't.  Not unless you date
someone in the project.  Is there anyone there you'd
go out with?"
"Well, Daniel is kinda cute but he's not my type."
Sam bristled at the implied criticism of a man she
loved like her brother.  "What's wrong with him?"
"He...he keeps hurting himself," Janet replied.
"Maybe he needs an excuse to be near you..."
"That would be so pathetic," Janet said with a giggle.
 Sam smiled and nodded.  "Then there's Teal'c.  I
kinda think he has a crush on me."
"Ya think?  I know he does."
"Yeah, but that wouldn't work.  It'd be too much
stress.  I mean, I already have one person with a high
security secret in my life.  Another with secrets like
that...  No.  Anyway, there's no...'oomph' there."
"What about Jack O'Neill?"
"Nice guy for an immature chauvinist but again..."
"No 'oomph'?"
"Right.  And what about you while we're on the
subject?"
"Jack and I?  No.  Not hardly.  Maybe at one time, I
had a...a crush on him but..."
"He still likes you," Janet said teasingly.
"Yeah, well..."
"So, there's no one you're interested in?"
"Yes.  But..."
"Who?" Janet asked, scooting closer to get all the
juicy details.
"No.  Can't say."
"No fair Samantha.  Give."
"All I can say is that the person is intelligent,
caring, funny, strict, supportive, loving, irritating,
and, occasionally, irrational."
"Hmm..."
"You'll never figure it out.  Give it up," Sam said. 
"What about you?  Anyone in particular?"
"Well, sort of, but they have no idea."
"Wanna tell me?"
Janet shook her head, "Nope.  But the description you
gave fits.  But I'd add fixated too."
Sam and Janet suddenly found themselves staring into
each other's eyes.  Sam whispered, "Wouldn't...
wouldn't it be funny if we were in love with the
same...person?"
"Y-ye-yeah.  Th-that'd be f-funny..."
From the hall came a shout, "No, it'd mean one of you
has a hyper-inflated ego!  Kiss each other already!"
Jumping to her feet, Janet yelled, "CASSANDRA!"
The teen came in, saying, "Jeez, it's obvious to just
about anyone with half a brain.  Even Dominic sees it.
 You two are nuts about each other."
"Cassie..." Sam said, shaking her head.  "You've got
it all wrong..."
"Oh?  Who do you go to whenever you need support?  And
Mom?  Who are you always - always talking about at
dinner?  Not to mention all those Meg Ryan movies you
watch."
"Meg Ryan?" Sam asked.
"She kinda reminds Mom of you," Cassandra said.
"Cassie, go to bed," Janet said tensely.
"But it's not even 10 o'clock!" the teen whined. 
Then, at the look her mom threw her, she grudgingly
agreed, "Alright, alright."
After saying good night to Sam, the teenager headed
upstairs.  Before she disappeared, Janet called out,
"Good night!  Love you!"
"Love you too," drifted down the stairs.
Seeing a bemused look on Sam's face, Janet said, "It's
not that bad.  She has cable.  And her computer and
her phone."
"It's not that.  What's this about Meg Ryan?"
Janet closed her eyes and settled back on the couch. 
"I made some passing comment about how she reminded me
of you in that one movie with Billy Crystal."
"Oh?"
"Yeah, and I happen to like her movies so Cass has
made this big thing out of it."
"So that's why you sent her to bed without her
cherry?" Sam teased.
Janet groaned, closing her eyes.
"You know, maybe she does have something there," Sam
said.
Janet popped one eye open for a second. "Huh?  About
what?"
"You and me.  Half the base thinks we're together. 
And..."
As Sam's voice trailed off, Janet opened both eyes and
saw Sam standing in front of the window.  "Sam?"
Without turning, Sam said, "She is right.  I... 
Somewhere, at some time, I found myself thinking about
you...romantically."
Janet got up and crossed the room.  "Me?  You're
attracted to me?"
Sam nodded, drawing the curtain back to gaze
sightlessly into the street.  "I shouldn't have said
anything.  I guess I better get my stuff and...  I'm
sorry, Janet." 
Janet placed her hand on Sam's shoulder, turning the
taller woman, "I'm not."
With her other hand, she clasped the back of Sam's
head and pulled the blonde's mouth to hers.  Her
fingers were tickled by the short hair on the nape of
Sam's neck.
The simple kiss was stunning in it's affect on the
tall woman.  Just the feel of Janet's lips on hers
made Sam groan aloud.  When Janet pulled back, she
felt like she'd lost something, something vital and
important.
Sam stared at Janet, "Wha-what was...?  I...  Are
you...?"
"Sam, sometimes you talk too damned much," Janet
declared as she tugged Sam down for another, deeper
kiss.
As she felt Janet's tongue slip into her mouth, she
gave up any question about what was happening and just
enjoyed it.  Enjoyed it more than any other kiss in
her life. 
A few long, passion-filled minutes later, Janet took
Sam's hand.  "Come with me.  I want you in my bed..."
Sam happily followed her friend and...  What?  Lover? 
She certainly hoped so. 
* * * * * *
As the sun peeped into the bedroom, it's rays gleaming
on the exposed skin of Janet's buttocks, Sam sat
propped up on the head board.  Her eyes were gazing
happily at Janet's beautiful back.  It was one of the
sexiest things she'd ever seen.
Janet turned her head, her eyes searching Sam's. 
"Good morning."
"Morning, beautiful."  
Janet smiled for a moment.  "So, how are we this
morning?"
"Well, I'm fine.  You?"
Janet sighed in relief.  "Me too."  Her eyes drifted
down to Sam's bare chest, the eyes locking on the hard
nipples.
"What?"
"Your breasts look so lovely in the morning sun."
"I was thinking the same thing about your butt."
"Butt...  How romantic.!"  Janet giggled.
"Well then, your ass."
Janet moved up and kissed Sam.  
"Hmm...  Now that's something I could get used to - a
'good morning' kiss."
"Well, I'm sure we can fit a few more in here and
there.  How long until your house is fixed?"
"Not long enough..."
Janet yawned.  Sam snickered, "You know, it's not like
I was discussing astrophysics..."
"No, just that someone kept me up awfully late."
"Sorry - not!"  Sam laughed.  "Wanna ride in with me
this morning?"
"Not on your bike but I'll drive. But we have stop at
a Starbucks."
"Let me guess: triple grande latte, light caramel
syrup, no foam, 150 degrees."
Janet snuggled against Sam and smiled, "This
relationship is already off to a great start!"
And happily (but unknown to the two women) there was
no end in sight.
 (c) John O'Conner

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