Copyright 2000 George Carter
THE GIFT (MF, cons)By George Carter
(Note: a glossary of Australian slang terms appears at the end of the
story.)
What do you do the day after your heart breaks?
What do you do when the person you love more than your own life
tells you she doesn't feel anything for you any more?Well, I can't speak for everybody, of course, but I tried to forget about it
for a while. The French Foreign Legion seemed a little extreme, not to
mention cliched, so I took extended leave from my job and moved to
Sydney, where I'd lived before I ever met Kate. We'd sold the house and I
was left with some spare cash after settling the mortgage. Eight years of
bliss, and now I was living in a flat again. I'd lost touch with most of the
friends I'd known in my bachelor days. Sydney's a bastard of a town to be
lonely in. It's just too damned pretty. It's made for walking around with a
girl on your arm.I tried to smile and get on with my life, but it was a doomed effort from
the start. I'd not only lost my compass, but my sails and most of my keel
as well. I was becalmed and aimless, pushing forty with a bulldozer, and
miserable, but in denial. Rather than sit at home and masturbate, or
worse, contemplate suicide, I decided to take on some volunteer work
That way I figured I could keep busy long enough for the pain to go away.So it came to pass that I became one of the thousands of volunteers at the
Olympics, where I met a woman I admired very much but whom I'd never
dreamed I'd ever meet. This rare, amazing woman ended up giving me the
most precious gift anyone ever received. What was it? Be patient. I'll tell
you in the end.
*****
I'd ended up drawing 'Spectator Support', which was as good as anything
on offer as far as I was concerned, so on day one I was running around
Homebush Bay like a manic rabbit. It was pure chaos. There were
hundreds of little tasks and little respite: lost kids, lost adults, enquiries,
arguments, wrong tickets, wrong days, and quite a few language barriers.
And guess what? The pain in my heart didn't have the common decency
to ease off one little bit. I kept going, all right, but I felt like I was made
of glass.For early spring, it was a bloody hot day. I'd taken a swig of water from
the plastic bottle at my hip and was fanning myself with the
broad-brimmed uniform hat. It was the first time I'd had a minute to
myself all day.The voice came from behind me, strong but definitely feminine.
'Excuse me... '
I turned, essayed my best smile and started to offer to help. To my
surprise, I was looking straight at my questioner's chin. She had to be four
inches taller than me. I looked up and held her gaze, then started again.The woman's voice said she was either American or Canadian, probably
the former. She had untidy, dirty-blonde hair, eyes sparkling with
amusement and the smile of someone who thoroughly enjoyed her life.
She was wearing a plain gold t-shirt, faded blue jeans and worn running
shoes. She looked strong and fit.'Sorry to bother you,' she continued, 'but I've gotten a little lost. This
place is so big, it's overwhelming at times.''I know just what you mean, and it's no bother, it's what I'm here for. My
name's George, by the way. What can I help you find?''Mine's Jane, and I'm looking for the residences of the U.S. swim team. I
came from there, but I've just kinda got turned around. Clueless, huh?'I liked the way her nose crinkled when she said that.
'Not a bit. How do you think I'd go if I hadn't had a week's training in
getting around this place?' The sun beating down on my crewcut
reminded me that I had my hat in my hands, in an old-fashioned gesture of
etiquette. I must've looked pretty sheepish. I put the thing on my head
pretty quick, and her smile widened. She had great teeth. 'This way,' I
continued.We took our time strolling to the residences. 'Fifteen hundred?' I asked,
apropos of nothing.'Pardon me?'
'Your event. You look like a long-distance specialist. I'm sorry... that's
impertinent of me, but you're one of the athletes, right?'She blinked, and for the first time looked a little wistful. 'Not any more.
I'm with the coaching staff.'I realized I'd said the wrong thing, which was par for the course for me
with women lately. I decided to shut my big mouth, and soon we'd found
Jane's bungalow.
'Well, here we are, Jane. Maybe I'll see you around the place. I hope you
have a great time while you're here.''Thanks, George. Keep your nose clean and your hat on, OK?'
I didn't really want to leave, but I turned on my heel. Then I saw a figure
I'd seen once before, a rotund, balding man - assistant chef de mission I
thought, clearly agitated about something.'Jane Urquhart! I've been looking all over for you.'
Jane turned to speak to him, and I felt my stomach do a little jump. I
recognized that name... I couldn't believe it. The coincidence was too
great, suspension of disbelief factor would be blown out of the water if
this was a story. It couldn't be her.
And yet, this woman did look like the picture I'd built in my mind of the
woman whom I'd admired for a long time. If this was an enormous
happenstance, then I'd be a fool not to at least ask. Hell, what did I have
to lose besides my dignity?I waited until the man had finished speaking to her before approaching her
again.'Umm... Jane, I'm sorry to bother you again...'
She waited.
'But... I couldn't help hearing your last name, and I think you're someone I
e-mailed a couple of weeks ago. My full name is George Carter, and I'm
either an embarrassed fool or your biggest fan.'Her face moved slowly. An eyebrow twitched. One corner of her mouth
moved upward.'Naaah,' she answered, 'I have much taller fans.'
'Ooooh,' I laughed, 'a height joke! Not fair.'
'Well, at least you didn't mention those damn yellow raisins... everyone
else does. Pleased to meet you, George,' she continued, sticking out her
hand. I took it. It felt like... a woman's hand. I ordered myself to reel my
tongue in, I probably looked ridiculous.'You're the guy who wrote me that nice e-mail,' Jane pondered. I thought
she must get hundreds of nice e-mails, and probably some creepy ones as
well, but it was fine to be remembered. 'You said that you write yourself,
but you were pretty dismissive of your own ability. Hmm. Tell you what.
I'm gonna be real busy for the next week, while the swimming events are
on... but the second week's a vacation, really. Why don't you get some of
your stuff together and slip it under my door one day. Put your phone
number on it, and I'll call you when I've read it. What do you say?'I said, 'Thank you.' In moments of crisis, dialogue should be basic.
*****
Over the next week, my life became a little easier to face. Part of the
reason was a burgeoning sense of patriotic pride. It was impossible to be
an Aussie and not to be proud of the job we were doing with these Games.
From the opening ceremony on down, it was just superb. And my
countrymen weren't doing too badly in the pool, either. I was lucky
enough to see the men's 4 x 200 metre relay, and it was the finest swim I
can remember. Turning conventional wisdom on its head, we sent our
fastest man, Ian Thorpe, out first, and it was a stroke of genius. He had
the race won before the end of his leg. He demoralized his opponents and
drew the very best out of his teammates, and we ended up beating the
world record by two seconds... and the old enemy, the USA, by nearly
five.The seppos were doing pretty well too, just quietly. Susie O' Neill,
'Madam Butterfly', had to settle for silver in her favourite event, beaten by
a plucky American longshot named Misty Hyman. The first time I saw
that name I did a double-take. Misty Hyman? What were her parents
thinking? That was a porn-star name if ever I'd heard one! It gave me the
first good belly laugh I'd had in far too long. It made me think about Jane.
I bet she had a great line in belly-laughs. I hoped that she would make that
call, but I wouldn't blame her a bit if she didn't. After all, she didn't know
me, and I could be any kind of ratbag. I mean, I knew I was the harmless
kind, but she didn't.The days were pretty good for me. Being at the Games was an experience
that could cheer anyone up. It wasn't just the events, the feats or the
athletes. It was the spectators as well. I'd never seen such a vast,
heterogenous mass of humanity being so good-natured. It was touching. I
was working hard, but it was what I needed. It wasn't healing, but it was a
kind of solace. And it felt like I was losing weight.The nights were a different story. I used to like being alone in the night,
once upon a lifetime. I'd stand on the flat roof of a block like the one
where I now lived and stare into the heavens, feeling good... feeling
complete. I'd been part of a pair for too long to feel that way anymore.
The night I once loved now only made me feel empty. I tried several
things to fill the emptiness. I tried drinking, which just made me maudlin
and ill; I tried staying up all night, only to find you can't get away with
that at age forty any more; I even tried fantasizing about Jane, but Mr.
Happy wasn't in the mood. If he didn't watch his step, I'd have to rename
him. Finally, I turned to the word processor and started writing. This was
slow, almost painful in its progress, but it was creative rather than
destructive, and it helped a little. The trouble was that little things here
and there kept reminding me of Kate. She gave me my desk lamp. Some
of her old books were in the bookshelf, God knew why. Every time I
thought of her I missed her all over again. Why? That's all I wanted to
know. Just why?
*****
The first week passed, and with it the swimming competition. By Monday
of week 2, I'd pretty much accepted that Jane wasn't going to call. It was
okay, in her shoes I probably wouldn't either. Must be just a little too
surreal, to meet a fan in the flesh and wonder just what kind of person he
really is, then read his fantasies. It was great to have met her, but I didn't
really expect anything else.So, naturally, the phone rang on Tuesday night.
'George Carter.'
'Hello, George... Jane Urquhart here.'
'Jane! Hi... How're things?'
'Just great, thanks... I love this place. The team does too. We're having a
lot of fun, but some of these kids are running me ragged, trying to keep
'em out of trouble.''Heh', I replied, 'at least you don't have to worry about any of them
defecting. Lots of other teams'll have that problem.''I never thought of that... anyway, George, I managed to read the stuff you
gave me.''Uh, oh... be brutal, I can take it.'
'I took a few cold showers over the weekend.'
'That's sweet of you', I laughed, ' Now tell me what you really think.'
'I think we should talk about this, but not over the phone. I've marked up
your hard copies with notes, and it'd be easier if you could see them.'I paused for a moment. 'How about we meet at the food court in the
village for lunch tomorrow? That's where I've been eating anyway.
Hundreds of athletes'll be there... just in case I turn out to be a dangerous
pree-vert.'She laughed. It was a good laugh, honest and infectious. Not a
belly-laugh, but maybe I'd hear that later. ' One o' clock okay?''Great. See you there.'
*****
The next day dawned with me, uncharacteristically, fussing about my
appearance. Normally I didn't worry too much about this. My mantra was
'neat, clean, smell ok' and that was about it. I stared into the bathroom
mirror, and the rational part of my mind argued that there wasn't much to
be done. My hair was low-maintenance; it was very dark, almost black,
and that was as much as I liked about it. It was also dead straight and very
fine, with no body at all, and some years ago I'd adopted the number 2
buzz cut as the best of a few bad choices. A few hairs had turned silver at
the temples.My eyes were a dark blue, and the skin around them was a little pouchy.
The eyes looked a little like Robert Mitchum's. They had the same kind of
world-weary look. They, and the grey hairs, were the only giveaways to
my age. Fortunate heredity meant that my face gave the impression of a
man perhaps ten years younger.I looked down. My body was not that of an athlete. It was squat and
broad. The legs were a little too short, but strong. The arms were a little
too thin. I sometimes felt that I'd been assembled from spare parts. There
was still a little belly there, that said I like beer and pasta, but that was
about it for visible fat. The same fine, almost black hair lightly covered
my body. I snorted to myself at this display of vanity. As if she was even
going to look twice at me... honestly. This was a married lady. Definitely
a lady. And even if she were in the market, she could do a lot better than
me.
*****
It was another busy day, no surprise there, and quickly enough Mickey's
little hand pointed to 1. Jane was waiting at the entrance to the food
court, a large buff envelope in her hands, dressed in similar fashion to our
first meeting. She wore that which she found comfortable. Good for her.
Personally, I always thought that the necktie was a perverted instrument
of torture, probably invented by a woman with a cruel sense of humour;
but that just might be because I have very little neck.She said 'Hi', I said 'Hi', and that was it until we'd gotten our meals and
found a table.We were halfway through the seafood mornay when she started with a
disclaimer. 'Of course, I'm not a critic, so this won't be a professional
review.''That's fine with me. You've done what I want to do, so your opinion
means a lot to me,' I replied.'Okay.' She dabbed at the corner of her mouth with a napkin. 'Well,
you've got strengths and weaknesses. Actually, I think you've got a lot of
skill. You write the erotic scenes like you've done it all, and taken notes...
which worries me a little, 'cause there's some pretty raunchy stuff here.'
She gave me a sly, sidelong grin, and Mr. Happy gave a little twitch.'Research, research... it's a tough job,' I smiled back. I looked at her and
suddenly realized that there was nothing affected about this woman at all.
What you saw was what you got. Like her stories, she was honest,
good-natured and funny, and I found that very attractive.'Well... to list your strengths, you write clearly. Your technical skills are
all there... grammar, syntax, punctuation. The action scenes are great, and
I like what you've done with some of these characters. If I had to point out
a weakness, it'd have to be that there isn't a whole lot of emotional depth
here. It's the difference between porn and erotica, and I believe that
erotica is what you want to write. Having said that, I can see that in your
later work, you are addressing this more... like you've diagnosed the
problem yourself and you're working on it. Can I ask...?''Yes? Ask away,' I implored.
'How long have you been writing this kind of thing?'
'Well,' I replied, 'I've been meaning to for years, really since high school.
But I've only really been writing for about six months.'Jane fixed her gaze on me. 'Then, there's only one piece of advice I can
give you. Write. Write every single day. Set yourself an amount to write
every day. That's what you need. It may be the only thing you need.'She reached out slightly to my hand, and noticed the wedding ring. The
sly smile returned. 'Does your wife know you write this stuff?'I closed my eyes. 'She doesn't care,' I replied. 'We're separated... a couple
of months now.' I hadn't meant to sigh. I wasn't fishing for sympathy.Jane blinked, and paused. She finished her tea, and asked, 'Do you want
anything else to eat? If not, do you want to get out of here? I can't hear
myself think.'We got up and left, and were soon strolling through the village. At least,
Jane was strolling. What I was doing was just about power-walking,
trying to keep up with shorter legs. She stopped, and at first I'd thought
she wanted to give me a breather. I was wrong.'Do you want to talk about it?' she asked.
'About what?' I replied stupidly.
'Your wife. George, tell me it's none of my business if you want, but I saw
the look on your face when you said you were separated. It said...
clearly... that the separation was something you weren't happy with. So...?''Nothing much to tell. She wanted out. I didn't. But what I wanted didn't
matter very much.''How long...?'
'Were we married? Eight years. Eight years,' I repeated, bitterly.
'George... I'm sorry.' She reached out to touch my arm, then thought better
of it.'It's okay. I don't want to bring you down, whinging about my little
problems. Not here. Not now.' I tried on a smile.Jane paused, then her face brightened. 'Okay, if that's what you want.
You can do me a favor instead.''Jane, I owe you. Name it, ' I offered.
'Well, I've got responsibility for some of the members of the team, kinda
like a house mother. Their events are over, and they're getting a little
antsy. I was wondering, could you suggest any good, fun touristy things
we can do in Sydney?''Yeah... I know a real good one. You know the harbour bridge?'
'Uh huh... the "coathanger", I've heard it called. What of it?'
'How would you like to climb up to the top of it and look down on the
harbour?''Wow! That'd be amazing... you can't do that, though?'
'Yep... sure can. How many people we talking about? I'll set it up for
you.''Ahhh... about six? And can I ask you one more thing?'
'Sure.'
'Come with us? Can you get away?'
'Hey, that'd be huge! I'd love to meet some of the team. I'll be there.'
We talked a little more, and worked out that the best time would be about
an hour before sunset. After we got back down we could have supper on
the quay, or at the Rocks. I advised Jane to dress for hot weather, wear
sturdy shoes and that, unfortunately, they couldn't take cameras, or
anything else loose like handbags. They were forbidden, as dropping one
from the top might do serious damage to somebody down below.As I farewelled Jane, I realized that for the second day in a row, I was
really... really looking forward to the morrow.
*****
Dawes Point is the name given to the protrusion of land at the south end of
the harbour bridge, and it was there that I waited for Jane and her
entourage. It would be a fine thing to meet some of the young athletes
that the Games were all about, but I had to be honest with myself. I was
really looking forward to spending some more time with Jane. She had a
sense of joy... of enthusiasm, that I felt, almost painfully, in contrast to the
emptiness I felt in myself. I felt like I was without hope, and without
hope, nothing is possible. It was a strange attraction... the attraction of a
vacuum for matter.I shook my head and chided myself. How pompous could I be, for
heaven's sake? Fortunately, Jane had chosen that moment to arrive, so I
could abandon this dangerous introspection. Oddly, she was alone.'Hey, over here,' I called, and waved. She jogged up to me, looking like a
million bucks. American dollars, not Pacific Pesos.'Hi, George. Looks like we got a good day for it.'
'Yeah. Uh, Jane... where's the rest of the group? Are they catching up, or
what?'She looked a little sheepish. 'I'm really sorry, George. The team had a
function this evening. Short notice. They couldn't make it.'I became worried. 'Aren't you supposed to be there too? Do you want to
bail out? I don't want to cause you any trouble...''No, no... it's fine. I can get away with not being there. I'd rather be here.
I got you something, by way of apology... here, I hope it fits.' She was
wearing a small backpack, and extracted something from it. It was a U.S.
team t-shirt, the back covered with autographs.I was really touched. 'Thank you, Jane... what a thoughtful gift. Thank
you very much,' I repeated. I felt like kissing her, but I brought myself up
short.'Here,' said Jane, 'let me put that back in here till later. By the way, are
you going to have any trouble about there just being two of us?''Huh? Oh, no problem. There's a charge, but you don't pay in advance.'
'So, George... how did you set this up on such short notice? There must be
hundreds of people want to do this. I would've thought you'd have to book
ahead. Out with it... how?''Easy... soon as I mentioned foreign athletes, doors opened. This city is
keen to show you guys what it's got.''But... we have no 'foreign athletes' now. Won't that be a problem?'
'No.' I grinned like a schoolboy. 'I told 'em you were an IOC delegate, so
just remember to look a little self-important.''An IOC... you didn't!' Jane giggled. 'How could you... you're pulling my
leg.''Jane, one thing you have to know about Australians. The country was
originally settled by convicts. There's a national tendency to buck against
authority... to tweak its nose when you can. It was fun.''You're a bit of a dark horse, Mr. Carter... aren't you?'
'Nooo... if I was any kind of horse I'd have been put down long ago. Legs
are no good. Shall we go?'It wasn't a tough climb by any means. We entered at the base of the
south-east pylon, a hollow concrete pillar which appears to be one of four
which supports the bridge. Actually, they're dummies... they look good,
but it's the tensile strength of the bridge's steel construction which holds it
together. We walked up, and up, a long flight of stairs inside the pylon.
There was no hurry, although I could go quicker than we were, and I was
sure Jane could go lots faster, but we were constrained by those in front of
us. It was single file all the way.Finally, we were at the observation platform. Only the painters and
riggers went any higher. The sun was beginning to set over the Parramatta
River to the west. We looked down, onto what's probably the most
beautiful natural harbour in the world. For a little while, the height and
the sight left us quiet. It was a comfortable, reflective silence. I realised
that I was staring into space, and I wasn't feeling empty.'George...'
'Jane? Are you all right?'
'Yes. But you aren't. Tell me about it. I'll listen. Maybe I've been there,
or somewhere like there. Get some of that weight off your shoulders
before it breaks you. Please.'I turned to her, about to refuse, and then I saw something in her eyes
which made me want to talk.'I... I used to be someone, you know? I had a good job, a woman I loved
very much, a network of friends and co-workers, a home. Everything a
man could want. Kate even had two sons from her previous marriage.
They were twelve and ten when we were married. We were so happy.
Life was so simple and good.'I paused to collect my thoughts. 'I moved away from Sydney before we
were married so we could live closer to the kids. Largely turned my back
on my local friends as a result. But that was okay.''What happened?' Jane asked softly, although I suspected she had an idea.
'Kate moved on, I suppose. The boys were grown, and maybe I wasn't
very attentive to her. She found herself another man, and one day, just
told me it was over. I was devastated... I still am. Anyway, we split up.
Sold the house, and I couldn't stand to stay in Newcastle any longer. I
took long service leave from my job, but I know I'm not going back. So in
what seems like an eyeblink, I've lost just about everything that used to
define me. I turned forty the day before the opening ceremony, and now
I'm starting from scratch. I used to be someone.''And you still are, George. Look at yourself. Look what you've done.
You've been hurt badly, but you haven't crawled into your shell and given
up. Lots of people would have, believe me. You're fighting. You don't
complain... and you've never once said anything disparaging about your
wife. I ... think you're admirable. But you're being such a man about
this... and I don't mean that in a good way.'She touched my cheek, and continued. 'You have to get some help. You
need to talk to a professional about this. You've got all this emotion that
you won't let out. You... you have to let yourself grieve.'It was wrong. I knew it. Not what Jane said... what I was doing. I found
myself putting my arms around her. Her eyes spoke to me in a language
older than speech. I moved my lips toward hers, slowly, giving her plenty
of time to move, or refuse.
As long as I live, I'll never forget that first kiss. Her lips were soft, lush,
yielding, and tasted like mead. I felt like someone had jump-started the
dead black thing between my lungs, and it was working time-and-a-half,
making up for lost time.Not only did she not turn her head, but she kissed back, her lips gentle but
insistent. It was wrong, but I didn't care any more, and neither did Jane.
Eventually we broke the kiss, but were reluctant to release each other.One of us had to be the first to speak. It was me. 'Jane... there never were
any athletes coming today, were there?'That sly smile again. 'My friends call me Janey.'
Gulp.
'George, I wanted to see you again. I ... needed to see you again. Then you
suggested this, and it was just perfect.''But why, ... Janey? Was it because...?'
'Don't you dare spoil this moment. Don't say what I think you're about to
say. Not everything is about you, you know.'She turned from me and looked out over the harbour. 'It was a bad idea
for me to come to the Games, in retrospect. I don't really know anyone in
the team. They're nice kids, but they're... kids. And they're a constant
reminder that I can't compete any more, and that upsets me. Until you
came along, I thought I was going to be lonely and miserable for the
whole two weeks. And there you were... polite, funny, someone I could
talk to, who knew about the other side of me. And I read your stuff.
Believe me, the cold showers didn't help. I wish now I hadn't wasted so
much time, but I was afraid... afraid of you. Afraid of myself. You must
think I'm terrible.''Janey... I think you're a miracle.'
She turned to look at me. A single tear fell from her cheek. I wanted to
hold her again. I did.We kissed again, hungrily, with passion. Somebody nearby gave an ironic
cheer, but neither of us was listening. We were too busy discovering.
Jolts of white energy were shooting down my spinal column, and ...
miracle!... Mr. Happy was shaking off the cobwebs and getting ready to
greet the day.Once again, we ended the kiss. 'So... what now?' I asked, stupidly.
'Now... we stay here for a little while. This place is wonderful. Then, we
find ourselves a cool drink and a light meal. After that, I want you to take
me home. And if you need instructions after that... I've misjudged you
badly.'
*****
I decided on the Lord Nelson, at The Rocks. Depending on who you ask,
it may be the oldest pub in the nation. It was cool, and we found a booth
that was fairly quiet. They brewed their own beer, and their Pilsener was
dry, hoppy, and very cold. While we were waiting for our medallions of
lamb to arrive, we made small talk like we'd known each other for years
instead of days.'So, what's the story with the football here?' Janey asked.
'That's a bigger question than you know. Which code?'
'Code...?'
'Australia is, as far as I know, the only country in the world where no less
than four codes of football are played professionally. Describe the game
you're thinking of.''Uhh... about thirteen guys on the team. There's a ball involved, but it
looks like the object of the game is to kill each other.''Ahh... Rugby League. Good choice. That's the game we favour in this
state. It's pretty easy to explain. Think of gridiron. The same principle
applies, you score by running the ball over the goal line. You get six
tackles... you would call them "downs"... and then you have to hand over
the ball to the other team. You can't pass forward. You can't tackle or
interfere with a player who doesn't have the ball. There's lots of other
rules, but those are the basics. I used to play a little in school.''Really? What position?'
I didn't think. 'Hooker.'
She didn't spray beer over me, but it was a close call. She did laugh,
uproariously. 'HOOKER? You're joking. You don't have the legs for
short skirts or fishnets.' She laughed again.
'Hooker... that's good. What, pray tell, does a hooker do?'I tried to act hurt, but the truth was, I'd been waiting for that belly laugh,
and I wasn't disappointed. 'For your information... the hooker is called that
because he "hooks" the ball out of the scrum with his legs.''The scrum... yeah, I've seen that. Looks like six guys on each side. The
ones in front butt heads with each other, and the ones in back look like
they have their heads stuck up the other ones' butts... weird.''Not a bad description. The hooker occupies front row centre.'
Janey looked at me like I was Evel Knievel or something. 'Isn't that
dangerous?''It is if you do it right... Here's our food, great. I'm starving.'
The lamb was cooked just right, and sat on a bed of vegetables stir-fried
just a little past raw. It was delicious. On any other occasion I would
have savoured it. Just then, though, my breath was short and my chest was
a little tight, and I found it difficult to sit still.
*****
The trip from the inner city to Maroubra was fairly brief. Thankfully the
traffic was behaving along the run down Anzac Parade south-east to the
beachside suburb, and soon we pulled up outside the block of flats. If I'd
had butterflies in my stomach before, they were flying-foxes now, as I
opened the door and let Janey in.
She looked around the living room and remarked, 'George... this is very
neat for a bachelor pad. It's even dusted.''Must still be trained', I shrugged. 'Would you like a drink?'
'No', she whispered. 'Come here.' I did, and she embraced me. After a
little while, we sank down to the sofa. Her lips were soft and knowing;
her tongue, a dancing nymph. We were very close, our hands tracing the
contours of each other's backs. After each long kiss, I placed another
shorter one on her lips, like a punctuation. It was sweet, it was tender, but
the heat between us was increasing. The kisses became ravenous, the
caresses grew more insistent. Janey broke the embrace and started pulling
at my t-shirt, getting it over my head, and off. 'Show me', she said, so I
removed my shoes and socks, and then my shorts. My briefs weren't really
concealing anything, as I was fully erect, but off they came too. 'Turn
around, please,' she asked, so I did a slow three-sixty. She smiled, and
stood with her arms held loosely apart, inviting me. I removed her shirt.
Underneath she was wearing a powder-blue bra. I ran my fingers over her
breasts.'You are... so beautiful', I murmured. I meant it. She was magnificent.
'No. My boobs are too small and my butt's too big.'
By this time I'd discovered that the bra unhooked in front. Such a joyous
discovery! As I freed her breasts, I answered, 'You're crazy... just look at
these. They're so firm, the perfect size... and the nipples are just...' I had
to stop talking there, as my tongue had started tracing an aureole. Janey
shivered a little and stopped arguing.After a few minutes of pleasant exploring, I crouched down and started
removing Janey's shoes, and then her shorts. She helped me by stepping
out of them, leaving herself clad only in matching powder-blue cotton
panties. I left them on her for a little while, and caressed her mound with
my fingertips. Mr. Happy was starting to drool a little... he has no
manners. Finally I hooked the fabric in my thumbs and pullled down,
revealing a very neat little blonde bush. Once Janey was completely
unclad I asked her to return the favour by turning around. 'Too big be
damned...your bum is perfect.' I stood then, and embraced her once more.
Then I took her hand and led her out of the living room.She said, 'Do you think we could shower first?'
I was embarrassed by my stupidity. It had been a warm day, and we'd
been active. I must have smelled pretty ripe... I thought she smelled great,
but maybe all the blood in my cock was starving my brain. I fetched a
couple of towels and opened the bathroom door. The shower cubicle was
quite small, and I doubted we'd get both of us in it at once. 'You go first,'
Janey offered, so I did, making it quick. I scrubbed myself dry and retired
to the bedroom, thanking providence that I was house-trained and that the
flat was neat and clean. Not that I thought she'd be scared away by a
reasonable amount of bachelor squalor, but her comfort and her approval
were very important to me.I only had to wait a few minutes before Janey walked inside. I was
surprised a little to see that she was holding her backpack in front of her
mons. It was an endearing display of modesty, which made me feel a little
foolish, lying on the bed loud and proud as it were. She favoured me with
a small smile, and said 'I hope I do this right... I've never been with a
hooker before.''Less of your cheek, young lady... or I'll perform Australian foreplay on
you.'She lay on the bed beside me and said, 'I'm game... what's Australian
foreplay?'I nudged her in the ribs with my elbow and said, 'Are you awake, love?' It
was a very old joke.She laughed, like music, and said 'All things considered... I prefer the
traditional kind. Please?''There's a lot to be said for tradition,' I replied, as gradually I began to
trace the terrain of her calves with my fingertips, moving upward slowly,
then just touching on the backs of her knees. Her thighs were strong, yet
the skin as soft as everywhere else. I was in no hurry, and right then,
giving this woman pleasure was my only priority. My hands had found
her inner thighs and were stroking gently, with just the occasional touch of
my tongue. I avoided her centre, teasing, and asked her to turn onto her
chest. Then my fingers started tracing her spine, starting between the
shoulder blades and working down. It was the lightest of massages, but I
could feel her relaxing under it, making little inarticulate noises into the
pillow. I reached the coccyx, the very base of the spine, and brushed with
no more pressure than a butterfly's wing. This time I heard her sigh.Gently, but insistently, I pulled her arms out from her sides so I could
reach her armpits with my fingers. It seemed like an unlikely erogenous
zone, but it had worked for me before, and as I stroked, I knew it was
working this time. She was totally relaxed and a little aroused. My hands
sneaked down to the sides of her breasts and pressed, just a little. Then I
gave her a tiny smack on the bum. Slowly she turned herself over. I took
a pillow and placed it under the small of her back, and we both knew then
what was next.I got my head between her thighs and gazed on the mystery and majesty of
a woman's sex. Once again my fingers played with her inner thighs, and
this time one or two found her perineum, and brushed against her
buttocks. She sighed, content for now with this passive role, and I kissed
her sweet cleft briefly, as a harbinger of what would come soon.Janey made little inarticulate sounds of encouragement as I raised my
head and guided my fingers around her labia, stretching, stroking and
testing the sensitive skin, but studiously avoiding the clit. All things in
good time, and I could already tell that Janey was much more responsive
than Kate had been. She was starting to moisten and part slightly, so I
moved my hands away and up, stroking instead around her navel. Up
again, along her ribs, and then I had a breast for each hand - how
convenient! - and a prominent nipple to tease with each thumb and
forefinger.A growl started in the back of Janey's throat, so I moved back down,
extended my tongue, and tasted her. Nectar. I lapped, from the back of
her cleft to the front, and again, and then zeroed in on her clit, and
suddenly her arms moved and her hands were on my head. She couldn't
seize my hair - it was far too short - so she settled for stroking it while I
tongued and kissed her most sensitive spot. I sneaked a finger inside her,
then two, and stretched her a little while I brushed her perineum with my
thumb and described tiny circles with the tip of my tongue.As I said before, Janey was a lady, so I'll not repeat what she said as she
reached the edge of orgasm, except that it was most encouraging. She
panted, moaned, and for a moment I thought I was going to lose an ear.
My fingers, inside her, knew it first as she spasmed around them, and
immediately she cried out in that cry that could be pain, but was
something else entirely. I felt her heat and then her body's stillness. I
raised my head after her spasms ended and saw the tell-tale flush of her
chest... and for the first time in far too long, I felt like a man.She took a few minutes to recover. I played with her hair,and touched her
face, using my dry hand. No hurry at all, we had all the time we needed.'Get...' she caught her breath. 'Get your ass on that bed... it's your turn.'
I scootched over to the warm place she left as she rose. She turned to her
backpack and extracted a strip of condoms. 'Fifty-one. That's how many
they supplied for each and every one of us. Australian hospitality is really
something else.'I knew the story. 'Seventeen days... three per day. And after the first
week, the Cubans complained they'd run out already.' We both chuckled
at that. 'Just trying to intimidate you Yanqui imperialists, I bet.'She laid the little square in easy reach, straddled me, and laid a soft,
tender kiss on my lips... then one for my throat... then over my heart.
Splaying her hands, she ran them slowly over my chest, her thumbs
meeting and travelling down my stomach to my navel. My penis was
stiffening again; she found it with one hand and encouraged it further. I
exhaled, groaning a little, and if I'd had a tail it would've been wagging.
Janey grinned at this and moved back off me. I had a reasonable idea
what to expect next and closed my eyes, waiting.Hmmm... that was nice.
Her tongue had found my scrotum... gentle and warm. I started breathing
a little heavily. Slowly, tantalizingly, she laved my balls... and then she
found the underside of my cock with her lips. She moved upward, her lips
following the bulge of the urethra. I couldn't move if I'd wanted to, and I
thought I was going cross-eyed with delight.
Then she took me into her mouth, and I said something clever like 'ohhhh'.She kept me in there for only a little while, then placed a kiss on the
underside of the glans. I opened my eyes in time to see her self-satisfied
smile as she rolled the condom on to me. Then she lowered herself
gradually onto me... filling herself. For a moment or two, she stayed still,
both of us simply enjoying the feeling of being joined so intimately. Then
she kissed me with infinite tenderness and started to move on my cock.It was so good it was almost torture. I had my hands on her buttocks,
stroking her there, but my mind wasn't on it. I was watching her face...
burning it into my memory forever, associating the sight with the
sensations I was feeling just then. Tiny beads of perspiration were
appearing on her forehead, and her blonde hair was flowing like sentient
flame as she rocked and tossed her head. My heart leapt in my chest and I
wondered at that moment... was I falling in love with her? Then
something started happening that chased the thought from my head.Not all orgasms are the same. Women have told me this, but the same is
true for men. They're all good, of course, but it's a matter of degree.
Some are quick, hurried and, I suppose, concentrated is the word. The one
I was starting to feel was something else again. It started as something not
unlike an itch at the base of my penis, along the urethra. My breathing
quickened, and Janey stepped up the pace, just a little. The itch became
stronger and started travelling up the shaft. I groaned inarticulately, and
noticed that Janey was getting a little flushed and was making little noises
from the throat. Her too...?The itch was almost a burn now, and it was starting to concentrate in the
head of my penis, approaching the tip as the sensation became almost
unbearable. It reached a plateau, so good it was close to pain... and stayed
there for several seconds. The hallmark of a truly rare orgasm... not so
much the Rolls-Royce, as the turbo-charged Carroll Shelby Ford Cobra of
orgasms. I closed my eyes and let myself relax totally... and then let go. It
was unbelievable. The feeling in my cock peaked, went past the peak, and
I emptied myself... I thought I was going to cry.Janey kept going after I'd finished coming, and the feeling was really pain
now, but it was pain I could bear. It was pain I wanted to bear, as I knew
she was seconds from her own orgasm... seconds that she was granted, as I
stayed hard enough for long enough to help her to her climax. She
collapsed onto me and I kissed her gratefully. 'You're beautiful,' I said,
with little breath.'That's.... my line,' she gasped. 'You're beautiful too.'
I hugged her to me and didn't want to ever let go. After a few minutes we
got under the covers and cuddled. It felt so warm and soft and safe, and I
was totally relaxed. Maybe that was why it happened.Without any warning, my chest got tight and I was filled with emotions I
had no names for. Too many, too much, all at once. I shook, and started to
cry like a baby, bawling uncontrollably. I was embarrassed by it, which of
course just made me worse. Crying my little heart out.Janey, bless her, just held me. She didn't say anything at all, but with
loving patience, just let me go on until I was finished, knowing that I
needed her touch more than anything else to get me through this. By the
time I was finished, I felt lighter, so much lighter, like I'd lost a millstone
from around my neck. Janey got up, turned the lights off and returned to
bed. We held each other again and started talking... really talking, like old
friends and confidants. I don't know how long we talked like that for, but
thankfully, it wasn't all about my problems. It was about lots of things,
and nothing... it was a d&m, and a bull session, all at once, interspersed
with a lot of snuggling and the occasional warm kiss.After what must have been hours, we ran out of things to say, and I was
sure that I loved her. Not 'I can't live without you' romantic love... more
the love you feel when you've just discovered one of the very few
first-rank friendships of your life. I was starting to doze off, feeling
content and serene, when I felt an elbow jab me gently in the ribs, and an
awful attempt at an Australian drawl said 'You awake, love?'My oath, I was awake.
*****
That would have been a good point at which to end the story, but life is
seldom as neat and convenient as the movies. We woke the next morning
and showered, and I made breakfast: poached eggs, bacon and a plunger of
Darjeeling. We talked about how little time we had left before Janey had
to go home, and we agreed that the previous night would be our first and
last time. Not that it was wrong, not that either of us felt guilty about it,
but we really had very little time left, and neither of us wanted to dilute
the memory of that one heartfelt night with any hurried, furtive repeat
performances. It was bittersweet, but it favoured the sweet. I wouldn't
pine for her when she was gone, because she never belonged to me, but
instead I'd keep her in my memory box, folded and cherished like a love
letter.I drove us to Homebush Bay, parked, and walked Janey to the village. We
stopped outside her bungalow and looked at each other, suddenly not
knowing what to say.'How are you feeling?' Janey finally started.
'I'm... good. I feel good,' I replied. 'You?'
'Good... bad. Torn. Are you going to be all right, do you think?'
'Yeah. I'm gonna be fine. You haven't heard the last of me... I'll e-mail
you, and I'll keep on writing.''I'll look forward to it.' We embraced, and she kissed me on the cheek. 'I
guess this is goodbye.''Maybe one day... you never know your luck,' I answered. Then I kissed
her properly, and placed my Akubra hat on her head. 'Goodbye, Janey.'She turned, opened the door and went inside, and that was the last I saw of
her.
*****
The night was warm and soft and dry; I'd taken a deck-chair out on the flat
roof of the block so I could look at the stars with a beer or two. I looked
inside myself for the old pain, and confirmed what I'd found before.
Where it had been like a poisoned wound, hot, festering and refusing to
heal... now it was different. It still hurt, but it was clean, and the pain held
the promise of a future without pain. Sure, there'd be a scar, but scars
aren't bad, they're nature's way of reminding us not to repeat our mistakes.Okay, I'm winding up the story, and you want to know what Janey's gift
was. Well, I'm not talking about the t-shirt, although that was very nice. It
wasn't what we did with each other. I wouldn't cheapen that by calling it a
gift.Janey's gift was a number of things, all thanks to her generosity of spirit.
She gave me encouragement. She gave me friendship, when I dearly
needed a friend. Most of all, she found the hope I'd lost and gave it back
to me. Getting that hope back was the greatest gift anyone could ever
receive... because with hope, all things are possible.What do you do the day after you get back your soul?
I didn't know yet, but I was about to find out. And it was going to be
good.
THE END
I have permission from Jane Urquhart to use her character, 'Janey', in this
story - GCIf you'd like to comment, please write to gcarterofoz@hotmail.com
GLOSSARY OF AUSTRALIAN TERMS
Flat: noun. Apartment.
Seppo: noun, slang. semi-affectionate term for an American. 'seppo' is
short for 'septic tank', which is rhyming slang for 'Yank'. (Note: the author
is well aware that not all Americans are Yankees, and that some find the
term offensive. Most of us foreigners don't give a toss about the
distinction. Sorry.)Ratbag: noun. A disreputable person.
Whinge, whinging: verb, pronounced winj. To complain, especially in a
whining manner. An activity which is anathema to most Australians and
which we associate with our English friends.Pacific Peso: noun. Disparaging term for the Australian dollar, which,
along with the Euro and most other currencies, is copping a beating right
now from a certain eight-hundred pound gorilla called the US dollar.Flying Fox: noun. Type of fruit-eating bat native to Australia. The
biggest bats in the world.D&M: adjective, noun. Stands for 'Deep and Meaningful'. A
conversation that is... well... deep and meaningful.