It seems that I have spent my entire time
trying to make life more rational
and that it was all wasted effort.
-- A. J. Ayer
 

"Concentrate, damn it. I don't want to spend the rest of my life as a dog." It had been a late night and an early morning. They had been attempting to replicate Richard's findings for more than four hours now.

 "I am. I am. It just isn't working." Jose groaned and rubbed his aching head. "I just can't seem to do anything. Can we take a break?"

 "No. We need to do this and do it now. We have no idea how long Richard is going to leave us alone."

 "Alright." Jose sighed. "But we've got to try something different."

 "Any ideas?"

 "Just one. Let's try hypnosis."

 "Fine. Sit back on the couch and I'll hypnotize you. Then we'll try again." Josef started to get comfortable.

 "Wait a minute here." She sat bolt upright. "Why aren't I hypnotizing you?"

 "Do you have any idea how to hypnotize a dog?"

 "No. I guess not." Hesitantly Jose continued. "Oh alright, I guess we should do this." She sat back and got comfortable. In the meantime Dean was quietly growling in frustration as he struggled to wrap a watch chain around one paw.

 "Could you help me here." He finally gave up in frustration. Jose went to her desk and brought back some transparent tape. Dan jumped onto the coffee table and sat up while Jose knelt beside the frustrated dog and taped the watch to his paw before getting comfortable again.

 "Thank you." Dean raised his paw and started the dangling watch swaying from side to side. "I want you to look at the watch. Watch the watch. See it swaying back and forth, back and forth ..." The dog continued speaking in a soft, soothing, relaxing voice for several minutes as she watched Josef's eyes slowly droop and eventually close.

 "Now Josef. Open your eyes." Josef's eyes opened.

 "Very good. You can hear only me. Nod if you understand me Josef." Josef nodded. Dean sat panting quietly on the coffee table as he thought for several minutes.

 "Josef listen very carefully. First, no matter how I appear you will always recognize me. No matter how I sound, you will always recognize me. No matter how I communicate with you, you will always understand me. Do you understand?" A nod.

 "In a few moments I'll say the phrase 'Heinlein's Hinny' and you'll wake up. If I communicate that phrase to you in any way at any time in the future you'll immediately fall asleep again. Do you understand?" Another nod.

 "When I wake you up you are going to believe several things with absolute confidence. You will believe these things with every fiber of your being. Is that understood?" Another nod.

 "First, you will believe that there is no such thing as reality. What you have always thought was reality is just a shared delusion. Do you understand?" Josef nodded again.

 "Second, you will believe that what is perceived as reality is really a continuously changing collection of fictons, basic building blocks of everything around you, that are modified by your thoughts. Do you understand?" Yet another nod.

 "Thirdly, you will believe that you are the universe. Everything that was, is, or will be is due to your will. Do you understand?" Josef nodded.

 "Finally, because you are the universe and you are able to shape and form it as you wish. Your thoughts are like law. They must happen and all that surrounds you, that is you, recognizes and accepts your wishes. Your wishes are those of all around you. Do you understand?" A nod.

 Oh yes, one last thing. You will always allow me to exist and retain my memories of who and what I am, and you will remember me as a human being again rather than as a dog. Heinlein's Hinny!"
 
 

The throne room was full again. Scantily clad beautiful women with long spears lined the way from the massive doors to the throne. A large group was being escorted forward, nine men and four women. Unlike all the people before them, this group immediately knelt and bowed before Richard.

 "Welcome. You may speak." A distinguished, silver haired man looked up without rising.

 "Greetings. My name ..."

 "You are George Kingman-Smith, Chairman of the Board of Directors of Clarke University, and these," he gestured to the others, "are the rest of the Board."

 "Why yes." Only the slight widening of his eyes revealed the surprise he felt. "We are here ..."

 "You are here to honor me for my unique and brilliant research."

 "Right again." This time even the eyes gave back nothing. "We ..."

 "Also want me to continue my research here at Clarke University with full funding." This time George said nothing, waiting.

 "And you want the results of my research for yourselves." The eyes glanced downward for but an instant before once again coolly staring back at Richard.

 "And of course, you want all this for the betterment of mankind." Richard sneered and clapped his hands once. Instantly the guards surrounded the group, spears shining in the light as they pointed at the hearts of the Board membersfrom just inches away.

 "So transparent." He tsked. "Not one of you cares about helping the great unwashed masses. Each of you has dreams of avarice and control." He pointed to one.

 "You, Dr. Bischoff, you would rid the world of disease. How noble. Isn't it a shame you plan to offer it only to those rich enough to afford the exorbitant prices you plan to charge."

 "You, Mrs. Wellman." He pointed to a thin, immaculately coiffured woman of about fifty. "Your's is a much more humanitarian goal. You wish to use the power I've discovered to become young again." He smiled briefly, a cold, distant smile. "But you to have no interest in sharing with others. You expect to live forever unaging and amassing a fortune beyond that imagined by even the greediest of fools."

 "Ah, here we are." He pointed to a tall, muscular, balding man with bronze skin. "You are the most humanitarian of the lot. You wish to use my power to make your son President of the United States." The smile was back. "You will then control him to make your company the biggest, most powerful in the world."

 "All but two of you are money grubbers, whores of Babylon. Only you two." He pointed to a man and a woman standing at the back of the group. "Only the two of you have no ambitions. You." He jabbed a finger at the man, short, with a widow's peak of white hair. I've never met someone so enamored by the bureaucratic process. Your only ambition is to complete paperwork correctly. The phrase 'stuffed shirt' was made for one such as you. You have no conscience. You would as soon condemn someone to death as give them the moon so long as the paperwork is correct, but woe unto the person who does it wrong. It amazes me that any human being can be so inflexible."

 "And you." He pointed to a woman of about forty who would have been considered beautiful were she not surrounded by a bevy of perfect specimens of femininity. "You have thoughts only for your appearance. You are a stupid jackass with no opinions but those given you by others. You are only here because the others came and you were afraid to object. You are only on the Board because your family is so wealthy."

 Richard looked to the crowd. "It's time women. Shall we?" The crowd roared and Richard turned back to the Board members.

 "You have been judged, so be it." Richard waved his hands dismissively and sat back in the throne while everyone waited expectantly.

 "It is more fun when it happens slowly so it can be savored." Inga and Colleen enthusiastically agreed with his aside.

 On the floor below the Board members cautiously milled about watching each other. "Hey, where's his jacket?"

 "Hey, She's got hair on her hands."

 "What's happening to my ears?"

 For all but two the changes were the same. Hair grew, even where there had been none before. Nails grew and turned bright red. Lips became plumper and also bright red. Clothes flowed and molded themselves to new body forms. When it was over there were ten more women, all in varying forms of undress more than dress and all looking for the proverbial street lamp to stand under. Only the spear points prevented them from physically attacking the only man left in the room, but even they did not prevent catcalls, taunts, and propositions.

 For the other two it was different. The woman Richard had called dumb stared at her fingernails as they slowly grew until the fingers were gone and only hooves were left. Coarse hair grew everywhere as the ears elongated. Teeth flattened and grew while the nose and mouth began to elongate also. Falling to all fours, clothing ripped as her torso began to grow and a tail formed. Then there was a full sized mule standing amongst the milling ladies of the evening.

 For the last of the group the changes were even more peculiar. First his suit coat and pants disappeared followed immediately by his underpants. Blushing he quickly crouched and covered his genitals with his hands failing to notice that he was shrinking closer to the floor as his legs shortened. Suddenly things became two dimensional as the remainder of his body melted and flowed to form around his white shirt. Eyes, nose, ears, and mouth became buttons and flesh tones faded to white. When it was done a neatly pressed white shirt stood upright, as if on an invisible body form, until the mule accidentally kicked it over.

 As the transformations ended Richard laughed maniacally and the crowd again roared its approval.
 
 

"Have you done it yet? Have you hypnotized me?" Josef blinked and rubbed her eyes.

 "Yes Josef. Shall we test out your new powers? I'd like to be human again." Dean's tail wagged furiously as he jumped from the coffee table to the couch by Josef and raised his paw for Josef to remove the taped on watch. Josef reached for it but stopped short just before touching it.

 "Let's start small." She put her hand back in her lap and stared fiercely at the watch.

 "Nothing seems to be happening." Dean jiggled it.

 "Let me try again." This time Josef closed her eyes. With a furrowed brow and pursed lips she concentrated again. Dean jiggled it again impatiently and it fell off. Dean's mouth fell open as he watched it fall to the couch cushion. The chain wriggled like a snake and was sucked into the watch which stretched and bulged a bit at each end. The silver metal lost its sheen and roughened, becoming a dull tan. The words "Doggy Treats" formed and a dog biscuit lay on the couch where the pocket watch had been.

 "Ahhh, you can open your eyes now." Dean gulped and stared at Josef with a fearful look in his eyes as he slowly lowered his paw. Josef opened her eyes and looked first at Dean inquiringly. Then as her eyes slid down to the cushion and the biscuit on it the expression change to shock, fear, and then triumph.

 "I did it. I did it." She clapped her hands and bounced up and down in her joy.

 "So it would seem, and while I appreciate the gift, I'd really prefer to be human again." She waited expectantly.

 "Would you like to eat first?" Josef giggled.

 "Thank you, no."

 "Oh very well." Josef shrugged her shoulders and braced herself before closing her eyes and concentrating. After several minutes she slumped back onto the soft cushions and took in several ragged breaths. She spoke without daring to open her eyes.

 "Did it work?" Silence. The silence continued for several seconds while an exhausted Josef continued to breath hard. Just as she was about to open her eyes to see for herself a soft mellifluous voice spoke out.

 "Sort of."

 Tentatively Josef opened one eye then both popped wide open. Sitting before her was an outrageously beautiful woman. A woman dressed exactly like she was and looking exactly like her sat where Dean had been.