Test
The two valets split formation the instant they saw them approach, one dashing off to the lot, the other moving forward to greet. "Mr. Sinclair. Your car will be right up."
Only a few seconds later, Dino's black Lincoln lurched to a stop in front of them. Angela imagined they kept the key "staff" cars ready for a quick exit.
"Get in," he snapped. Dino was apparently out of courtesy, much less chivalry.
He didn't start the car. "What was that in there?"
Why was he mad at her? "Wh-what do you mean?"
"You know what I mean. Can any man work you like a sock puppet, or just the ones with power and money?"
Ouch. No fair. It's not my fault.
"I... I couldn't help it." Angela looked down at her feet in shame -- and saw the infernal gemstones that were the cause. "I was scared."
"Most girls don't act like that when they're scared."
"I'm sorry. He's your boss. When he... started, I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to cause any trouble. I thought... I thought..."
"You thought what? That just because I work for him he can take whatever he wants?"
"Well, you didn't seem to be doing anything about it."
Angela expected him to say something in response, but he didn't. He just sat there in silence. She dared not look up, but out of the corner of her eye it seemed he was just staring straight ahead. Like he was in shock. Or thinking about something really hard.
The silence went on so long that, when he spoke, the suddenness of his voice startled her. "You're right. You did the right thing."
Angela's heart fell. She didn't know why, but she'd hoped to hear something else.
Dino continued. "It's just not what I expected. But I guess I should have, considering." He sighed, as if releasing some burden. Or giving up. "Listen, if he calls you, don't feel like you have to... I mean, it's not like you owe me or anything."
"I... I don't understand." Was he letting go, or holding on? Angela felt a tightness in her chest. Was he saying that she should hook up with Kostya, or that she didn't have to?
"I mean, Kostya's a pretty cool guy," he continued. "Good guy to know, too." No. The tightness became like a hot vice. It hurt to breathe. He was giving up on her. Conceding her to Moroshkin. Which would have been good for her mission, if she hadn't already gotten her hands on Dino's recording -- but now... she didn't want Dino to let her go. She told herself it was because of what else she could learn from him -- so she could borrow his MP3 player so Miguel's guy could copy the code or whatever, and so she could find out what other recordings he'd made. But her heart knew that wasn't the only reason.
Dino sighed. "You and me, we're... well, don't worry about hurting my feelings or anything; I mean, you're a great girl, but it's not like there's anything between us, right?"
You bastard.
Angela turned away. How could he do this to her? She felt the tears coming. She couldn't let him see the way he affected her. She tried to think of something, any excuse to leave.
"I forgot my phone," she said out of nowhere, her voice on the verge of breaking.
"I'll go get it." His door was open before she found her door handle. "Stay here, okay?"
He didn't get out.
"Angela?"
She swallowed hard. "What?"
"Stay here, okay?"
"Yeah."
Suddenly the car felt like an oven. Or a prison. Both. Angela just knew she had to get out of it.
It was a warm night, but standing on this side of the car Angela felt eddies of breeze swirling around her and through her thin dress. She tried not to think about the effect such a breeze would have on her.
Something was moving in front of her; Angela blinked back the tears to see a buff-looking guy in the standard young-wiseguy uniform of a tight turtleneck, tight slacks, and designer shoes. The top of his head was more styling gel than hair.
"Hey... Heaven, right? Saw you dance last night. Hot, really hot."
Angela didn't like the way he was looking at her; she turned away.
"Hey, what's the matter?" He must have noticed her tears. "What's wrong? Things not going so well with ol' Dino?"
"Everything's fine."
"Really? Cuz if he can't take care of you, you should hook up with somebody who can."
Oh, great. Everybody's a Romeo tonight. I don't need this right now.
"Listen, you need a ride home?" His hand was on her shoulder.
"No, I'm all right." She shrugged, but the hand stayed put.
"You sure? Cuz from the way Dino just walked off, it looks like you're going to be alone tonight -- and from the way you were acting inside earlier, that would be a real shame."
Now she recognized him. He was at the other table with Jacob. Did Jacob put him up to this? Or was he just naturally a horny asshole?
He was behind her now, one hand planted too firmly on her shoulder, the other wandering down her side...
"I can give you a ride home, baby..." Fingers found the slit of her dress and dove in, reaching around... "I can give you a ride you'll never forget." His hand cupped her sex, a finger pressing in roughly between her labia. He didn't seem surprised that she wasn't wearing underwear.
Angela twisted away, throwing his hands off her. "I don't need a ride," she said through gritted teeth.
"I think you do."
"Well I don't."
He rudely palmed her breast, squeezing her nipple between two fingers. "So what's this, false advertising?"
"It's *cold*." She stepped back, pressing up against the car, one arm coming up inside his and forcing it away. His fingers pinched more tightly, yanking her tit and tugging on her dress before contact was broken.
He stepped up, standing close to her -- way too close. He leaned forward. His erection made its presence known.
"Maybe it is cold, but that doesn't explain why my finger's wet."
Angela burned crimson. She still hadn't entirely caught her breath from the mauling Moroshkin had given her. Now this guy was pressing another man's advantage, thinking she was ready to go at the drop of a hat.
Well, wasn't she?
I never should have worn these shoes.
But she knew it wasn't just the shoes. Maybe they softened her up, but it was her own weakness that let her get carried away. Strong men scared her, but they also excited her. No, not strong men -- *aggressive* men.
Angela began to worry. She couldn't see the entrance from here. Where was Dino?
But as the man's hands wormed their way up her sides, Angela realized she didn't want Dino to save her. She couldn't let him see this, or he'd just think she was throwing herself at anything in pants.
"Get off me." She'd meant it to sound strong, but it came out as a whimper.
"Baby wants to be on top?"
Gawd. Did he make up his lines as he went, or did he have writers? "Don't make me hurt you." This time she managed to sound convincing.
Or so she thought. Somehow his hand had worked up around her thigh and was lifting her leg to get a grip on her ass -- *under* her dress. He leaned in close, his head past hers, speaking barely above a whisper. "That's okay, I like it rough."
So she bit his ear.
"Ow! Fuck!" he screamed reflexively. He pulled his fingers down from the injured lobe and flashed blood. But he quickly recovered, fear and surprise replaced by a meanness in his eyes. "You *bitch*," he spat. "Jacob said you played dirty. He said you needed to be taught your place."
His hand cocked back, open flat but hard. Instinct made the girl close her eyes and flinch.
But the blow never came.
"Hey, Dino." Asshole suddenly sounded calm.
Dino's voice was stern. "Angela, get in the car." Apparently he hadn't noticed what was going on.
Angela watched her assailant retreat back into the restaurant, his eyes lingering on her just a little too long. She opened the door and plopped down, suddenly exhausted.
"Angela, who are you?" Dino's question came out of nowhere.
In a flash, panic took over.
Oh God he knows. It's the shoes -- he recognized them. But how? He's never seen Sapphire. Yes he has -- that night at the warehouse... but it was dark and I couldn't even recognize him, how could he recognize me? someone else, they must have seen and told him or maybe he's done research, No he was spying on me, watching the apartment, I knew I should have been more careful! Okay so what if he knows, what does that mean, how does he feel about it, does he know about Miguel, of course he knows, if he's spying on Kostya he must be worried about other people watching him but still then why bring me here, why let me dance why even talk to me except to play with me or to set me up Ohno is he gonna try to... No he can't I'm wearing sapphires, but if he knows about them what if he takes them off, but if he's collecting evidence against Kostya then we're on the same side so even if he knows it's okay but anyway he doesn't know he can't know I was really careful and anyway I haven't even gone out that much I just have to calm down he must be talking about something else calm down he means about the dancing and stuff remember he looked kinda confused which is only natural considering the way I was before calm down that's it of course just calm down but why is he asking, why is he being so quiet, what does he mean by asking; why does he even care, I mean the way he treated me, the way he ignored me, and the way he let Kostya grope me right there at the table... but Kostya's his boss, and like he said, it looked like I was enjoying it... and ohgod I was... but that's because of the stupid sapphires, and the glass of champagne, it's probably worse with the Perfectua; most drugs are like that... he should understand, not about the sapphires but the other stuff... and anyway, I told him why. But still, why does he care? Why even ask? Hasn't he humiliated me enough? Why does he keep reversing himself? Acting like he likes me, being sweet... then treating me like a leper, no, worse, flaunting his dates in front of me just to hurt me, and throwing me to his boss like I'm some kind of prize... and then acting all hurt, like he really cares... but not enough to stop it...
Dino Sinclair, who are you?
Dino sighed, betraying frustration, confusion... and hurt. "I mean, at first I think you're this sweet cute girl who's had a rough time of things, and I try to help you get back on your feet -- but then the next thing I know, you're on my stage taking your clothes off, and throwing yourself at every guy you meet, including my best customer, my boss, and some small-time hood."
The deep cut of his words shocked Angela out of panic -- and plunged her into depression. Everything he said was true, in a way. At least, she could see how he'd think that. It suddenly wasn't important whether he knew she was Sapphire or not. What mattered was that he didn't think poorly of her -- not just for herself, but for him, because it seemed to hurt him. Whoever he was. Why did he tie her up in such knots?
"Angela, please don't cry."
"I'm not crying," she choked.
"Angela, what's the matter?"
"It's just... I'm just trying to be... I mean, I don't want to upset you..."
"I'm sorry. I'm not upset. I'm just trying to understand you."
*He* was trying to understand *her*? "I'm sorry. I..."
"You don't have to do anything you don't want to. You know that, right?"
You don't know about Detective Rubio. "Yeah."
"And I'm not judging you."
Not out loud. Not consciously.
"So tell me what you want to do."
"Nothing." She wanted to curl up in a ball and wait until the world went away. Or at least the part with Dino in it. He was the best and worst person she knew.
"Do you want to go home with Luke?"
Luke? "Who's Luke?"
"The guy you were talking to a minute ago."
"No! And we weren't talking."
Dino seemed to sense her distress. "What's wrong with Luke?" He was trying to be neutral, but it was clear he didn't much care for Luke.
Angela felt like she'd revealed a little too much. She didn't want to get into this. She'd made enough of a mess already. She just wanted to go home...
"Angela, you're crying again."
"No I'm not."
"Angela, you're a lousy liar." He reached over and touched her chin to get her to look at him, but she pulled away and kept looking out the window. "Angela, tell me what happened."
"Nothing."
"Angela, tell me."
"Promise you won't do anything."
Dino's tone darkened. "What did he do?"
His firmness made Angela answer. "He... got a little too friendly, that's all."
"Well, did you say anything to him? Did you..." he hesitated, afraid to say it. "Did you invite him?"
"No! I just needed some air. An' he came over, and... said some stuff." Angela shuddered; he'd done a lot more than that, but... she'd caused Dino enough trouble this night. "It was nothing. He just had a little too much to drink. So did I."
"You're sure you're all right?"
"I'm fine. Please. I'm just tired." Her voice betrayed her distress. "I just want to go home."
Dino seemed to pick up on it -- he tensed for a moment -- but then relaxed. Angela was thankful that he wasn't going to make a big deal out of it.
Dino patted his pockets. "Shoot. Now *I* forgot something. I'll be right back."
Angela closed her eyes and tried to stop her tears. Just a little longer and this nightmare would be over...
Her hand fell to something unusual. A small plastic box. At first she thought it was the middle seat belt buckle -- she remembered thinking that when she first got in the car this evening -- but it felt too sharp-edged. She picked it up idly, thankful for the distraction. The size of a box of breath mints, with a rubbery springy cord plugged into one end. She found the other end of the cord -- an earbud, like the kind that came with a Walkman.
Was Dino recording his conversations with her too?
She looked at the box more closely. No buttons that she could see, just a switch next to the plug. She flipped the switch and a little red LED lit up next to it. And she heard mumbling from the earbud.
She put the earbud in her ear. Dino was talking to someone.
"What took you so long?"
"I'm sorry, Mr. Sinclair. Mr. Moroshkin said he will see you when his business with his nephews is concluded."
"He'll see me now."
"Mr. Sinclair-!"
A muffled thump, and a door opened.
Dino barked an order. "You two, out. Now!"
A moment's hesitation, then Moroshkin's voice, guarded but firm: "Go on."
"Uncle..." Jacob.
"I said Go."
Footsteps approached. "Don't go far," Dino said (to whom?). Then footsteps left through a door opening and closing.
"Did you put him up to it?" Dino said, a very loud accusation, made as he crossed the room.
"Excuse me, I have not finished my meal." Moroshkin was irritated but maintaining calm.
"Cut the shit. Did you put him up to it?"
"If you are going to speak to me this way, at least have the courtesy to sit down."
"I'd rather stand. Now answer the question."
"Did I put *who* up to *what*?"
An exasperated, angry sigh. "Luke just tried to have his way with Angela out by the car."
Throat cleared. "I am sure you exaggerate."
"I do not."
"You cannot trust a woman's interpretation of events. They are so melodramatic."
"I'm not trusting what she said, I'm trusting what she didn't say."
"I see."
"You didn't answer my question."
Silence.
Dino again: "I'm waiting."
"I have not finished my drink."
Glass shattered.
"There, you're finished."
Moroshkin's voice had the measured pace of a man's self-image struggling against his true nature. "Dino, sometimes you push too hard."
"So do you."
A sigh. "Yes, I asked Luke to test the girl."
"You mean, test me."
"As you like."
"Then you can pay to get Luke's nose fixed."
Angela gasped; what had Dino done?
"Dino, I am surprised."
"If you were surprised, you wouldn't have been testing me."
"Point taken. Sit down."
"I said I'd rather stand."
Moroshkin's voice took on a hint of a growl. "It was not a suggestion."
The sound of fabric against vinyl.
"Dino-- What do you see in this girl?"
"I see a young woman who's pretty and hard-working and has that special spark that attracts customers."
"Customers." Kostya sounded skeptical. "I do not trust her. She seems to have strong moral character, but sacrifices it so easily."
"She's just trying to make a living."
"And she is under twenty-one!"
"That's not illegal for what she's doing."
"But it is against my policy."
"Kostya, some men like young women. They especially like women under twenty-one with a fake ID. Regulars who know the policy are some of her best clients -- some of *our* best clients. It's the idea of forbidden fruit without actually being illegal."
Moroshkin grumbled. "You have an answer for everything."
Dino's tone was even but unthreatening. "You pay me to."
"Well, if she is truly nothing to you but a paycheck, you won't toy with her and break her heart, will you? That would be bad for business."
"I didn't say she's nothing but a paycheck. I'm just saying I'm not involved with her romantically."
"...because you know how I feel about romantic entanglements," Moroshkin finished. What did that mean?
"No, because she's not my type."
"You don't miss a trick, do you Dino? What *is* your interest in her?"
"It's complicated."
"Exactly."
There was a long silence.
Dino broke it. The edge in his voice was sharp enough to cut steel.
"Look, next time your spies tell you I'm getting involved with someone, come and ask me about it face-to-face like a man. Don't subject an innocent girl to a grope test just to see how I'll react."
"She is not so innocent as you say. I think she rather enjoyed it."
"She was afraid not to."
"The why does not matter."
"Stop it, Kostya. She's not like us."
"And you would know."
"More than you."
"For now."
"Don't bet on it. She doesn't consort with men of low character."
"She went home with you."
"And she dumped me."
Was that how Dino really saw it? She'd been short with him the morning after their first night together -- their *only* night together -- but that didn't mean... anyway, if he thought she'd broken up with him, that meant he thought they'd been together. They'd only gone out a couple of times... No, he didn't really think that; he had to just be making a point.
"*She* dumped *you*?" Moroshkin was incredulous. "I find that hard to believe."
"Believe it. She wouldn't give you the time of day."
Moroshkin's forceful reply chilled Angela to the bone. "I won't ask her."
Dino's voice was suddenly very close, very quiet, and very intense. "Listen to me very carefully. I've given up a lot for you. More than you know. I've watched you inflict a lot of hurt on a lot of people and I haven't said a word. But not this one." There was a sudden raspiness in his throat. "*Not* her." He paused; when he continued, his voice was again clear and even. "She's better than you or me, and she doesn't deserve to be dragged down into your world and fucked with. Now I said I'm not seeing this girl, and I'm asking you to take me at my word."
"I will take your word, Dino, so long as it is good." His words were calm, but his voice was not.
If Dino was harsh before, now he was downright nasty. "Don't push me, old man. I took three bullets for you. Don't think I won't give them back."
The silence was deafening.
"Well," Moroshkin finally said, clearing his throat. "I am glad we have finally come to the truth of the matter."
"So we're clear."
"So you take responsibility for this girl."
"Meaning what?"
"You know what it means."
Dino's voice betrayed dismissive confusion, as if it was a clause that had no reason to be applied to her. "Of course."
"And you are still taking care of the business."
"I always do."
There was a measurement in Moroshkin's hesitation, as if he was seeing something in his protege for the first time. "Good. I would hate for anything to come between us."
"Yes you would," Dino said, his voice ice-cold.
A door opening, and closing. Dino was coming back. Angela pulled out the earpiece and arranged it back on the seat.
But Dino was not the first one to exit the building.
Luke came out first. Despite what Dino had said before about his nose, he appeared unhurt. But he came out stumbling, turning around to face the man who'd pushed him out.
Dino Sinclair.
Luke put his hands up, a defensive gesture. "Take it easy," Angela could see him say.
Dino grabbed him by the front of his expensive turtleneck and tossed him up against the hood of the car.
Dino's bellow broke through the isolation of the car's interior. "Now apologize, you slimy fuck!"
Angela looked at Dino's face. She'd seen that face before. And it scared her.
But it also made her angry. This wasn't what she wanted. She didn't need a man defending her. She didn't need this kind of pointless violence committed in her name.
And as over-the-edge as Dino seemed to have gone, she felt it was her turn to protect him, even if it was from himself.
"Dino, stop it!"
Dino had picked up the panicked punk off the front of the car and threw him at a nearby column. "You fucking worm! You think every woman that comes here is just another one of Kostya's whores, is that it?"
Luke slumped against the column. "Naw, man, I thought she wanted it!"
"Jesus, Luke, grow a fucking set! I know Kostya put you up to this."
"I... I don't know what you're talkin' about, man." But his expression said otherwise. "I just thought-"
"Shut up, Luke. I know you were just doing as you're told. So don't stop now. Now *I'm* telling you to apologize to the lady."
Angela was out of the car; she slammed the car door to try to get Dino's attention. "Dino, I said stop it!"
Luke straightened up, wincing a little. "Dino, what the fuck, man?"
"Apologize!"
"All right, all right! I'm sorry." When Luke saw Dino's gaze grow even more intense, he turned his eyes to Angela and reiterated more effusively. "Really, I'm sorry. I'm sorry about everything. I'm sorry Kostya ever asked me to mess with you."
The apology put Angela back on her heels. Dino's anger seemed to subside into a sneer.
"That sucked," Dino glowered, "but since it's probably the first time you've ever apologized to a woman, it's the best we can expect."
"Damn, Dino, seriously. She's not worth it." He flinched at Dino's raised fist, but when no impact followed it, he continued. "You know the old man. When he says do something, you do it."
"And if he told you to blow your own brains out, would you do it?"
The question seemed to puzzle the man.
Angela could see where this was headed. "Dino, don't." She didn't need it. Not over this.
"Yeah, no kidding," Luke agreed. "You're not yourself. She's got you all turned around."
Dino pressed in, his hand on Luke's chest, thumb pressing the solar plexus. "Now listen up, you little squid. From now on, she's off-limits. To you and the rest of Kostya's little squids. You don't look at her, you don't talk to her, you don't lay a fucking *hand* on her." Dino leaned forward, eye-to-eye. Luke tried to return the hard look but quickly wilted.
"Hey, man," Luke said, trying to reason with his assailant. "I don't want to get in the middle of anything between you and the boss, but he *is* the boss. You know how it is, man."
"I don't care if God Himself tells you what to do. Come near her again, and I'll send you to meet him."
"Knock it off!" Angela inserted herself between the two men, pushing each back with a hand to the chest. Surprise more than strength separated them.
"You better control your woman," Luke warned.
Dino's fist flashed forward so fast Luke didn't see it -- he only saw a moment of blackness punctuated by pain, like someone had lit a flare on his face.
Angela knew what happened when the first drop of Luke's blood hit her foot.
Luke bent over in agony, his voice muffled by hands and ruined cartilage. "My fhughing nhozhe!"
Dino sneered. "It's not her you should be worried about controlling, Luke." He flexed his hand, as much to warn of further action as to stave off pain.
"You brokhe my fughing nhozhe!"
"Apology accepted."
"Fhugh, Dhinoh, have you fhughing losht itd? Koshtya'zh ghonna whup yer assh when he findsh outd... aww, fuckhkh, I'm bleedin' all over my new shirtd! Jezhush!"
Dino stood tall, physically intimidating the gushing Luke, who was trying to hold his head back far enough to slow the bleeding without taking his eyes off the crazed man assaulting him.
"Lost it?!" Dino spat. "It's just your nose. You want to see Lost It? If you need to see Lost It to get the message, just say the word and we'll go there. I never fucking liked you anyway. You or your steroid-shooting cousin. I'd be doing Kostya a favor. So just say the word. Say it, motherfucker."
Angela's adrenaline made her warning a scream. "Dino!" She grabbed his arm, trying to pull him away.
Dino, caught in his own rage, shook her off with a violent shrug. "What?!" he yelled back.
The shove sent Angela staggering, catching herself on the hood of the car.
Now those eyes she'd seen aflame with fury were turned on her.
Instinct made her cower; but when Dino found himself, his unbridled anger fading to smoldering shame, Angela's own anger returned. And when Dino turned back to the man who'd made him lose control, Angela lost her own.
"Goddammit, Dino, that's enough!" Angela yanked him around by the arm, feet firmly planted this time. The girl wound up and laid a wicked Slap! across his face. It wasn't until she felt the sapphires' tingling on her hand that she remembered just how much she could hurt him.
Dino's head snapped around at the impact; he paused, turned away from her, shaking off the surprisingly-hard blow. When he turned back, she saw that his lip was split. The wild look in his eyes had become soft confusion, as if asking: don't you know I'm doing this for you?
She answered the unspoken question. "When I want your protection, I'll ask for it."
Luke took advantage of Dino's reaction to make a dig. "Damn, Shinckhlair, I don' know who I should be more afraid of."
Dino rubbed his cheek, looking at Angela curiously. Like he'd just learned something new about her, and wasn't sure what to make of it.
He cast a raised eyebrow toward Luke. "Make sure you don't ever find out."
And with that, he turned his back and got back in the car.
Dino nursed his hand. Angela didn't nurse hers.
Angela spoke first. "Why did you do that?"
"Do what?"
"Beat up Luke." Beat up -- like something a gradeschool bully did. Or an older brother protecting his baby sister. Angela wasn't sure which was more appropriate.
Dino seemed surprised at her tone. Had he forgotten the slap already? "Because he needed an attitude adjustment."
Angela pouted. "So do you." Pouting kept her from shaking.
The way Dino kept rushing to defend her honor -- with hair-trigger animal visciousness, and sometimes when her 'honor' was not above question -- Angela was beginning to wonder if he really was a long-lost brother. Because if he was just a guy who *liked* her, he wouldn't keep scaring her like this.
"You have to understand, Angela. People like Luke and Jacob, even Kat -- and especially Kostya -- they have to believe I'm willing to go further than they are. You don't know what's at stake. The minute Kostya thought I was-" he cut himself off. "The minute Kostya heard about you, he knew you were different. Different scares him, and that makes him... assertive." Out of the corner of her eye, Angela saw Dino's gaze go very distant. Reflective. "I never should have offered you that job. I never should have taken you to lunch. I should have known better -- I just thought... I guess I gave them too much credit."
He looked at her, but quickly looked away again. "There's something about you, Angela. *I* don't even know what it is. But I'm not afraid of you. I don't know, maybe I should be. But Kostya and the rest of them -- I know it sounds crazy, the most powerful man in the Russian Mafiya on the West Coast is afraid of an eighteen year old girl, but it's true. And whatever he's afraid of, if he doesn't think he can control it, he'll destroy it."
He *should* be afraid of me, Angela thought darkly. But she couldn't share that with Dino now, or he'd *really* lose it. She simply asked, "so where does that leave you?"
"Kostyta knows he can control me."
She meant in terms of her -- he didn't know she'd heard his exchange with Moroshkin, and wondered whether he wanted her to know. But his answer revealed something else.
"It doesn't seem that way," she replied.
Whoops. Did I say too much again?
"I make the occasional demand, but he knows it's always reasonable. And he knows where my loyalties lie in the end."
To Angela, Dino sounded like he was blinded by his own bullshit.
"And you think I'm reasonable."
"Look, Angela, I've told you too much already. I know I never promised you anything, but you keep acting like... well, I don't know, like this is all some kind of a game."
"You're the one who's playing games. I can't figure you out. You act like you really like me, then you ignore me, then you ask me out, then you abandon me at your house, then you want to make it up to me, then you invite me to dinner with your boss and just sit there while he paws me like I was his pet, then you rip me a new one because I didn't refuse his advances, then all of a sudden you don't care and you're happy about it, then you turn back around and act like he's some kind of monster... so forgive me if I seem a little confused."
"I'm sorry, Angela. You're right."
"No. Don't you dare apologize to me. Not after all that. I deserve better."
"I know." He took a deep breath. God, was he going to turn her upside-down again? "That's why I think it's better if we don't see each other anymore."
What? "We were never really seeing each other in the first place," Angela pouted.
"No, Angela, I mean you shouldn't be working at the club anymore."
No. It was all slipping away. Dino was ruining everything. True, a part of her *wanted* to walk away -- Dino was right, it was a dangerous game she was playing -- but if she did that now, everything she'd done would be for nothing. Everything she'd told herself would be a lie. And no matter what she might or might not feel towards Dino himself, the people he worked with were criminals, no doubt perpetrators of all kinds of evils she didn't even know yet. Guys like that didn't just steal a few cars or confine their violence to other bad guys like them. They took advantage of people, ruined their lives, used them up. And she wasn't going to let them get away with it.
Besides, what the hell was all that he said to Moroshkin? Why did he go to such great lengths to protect her if he was just going to cut her loose?
Because he's not just protecting you from Konstantin Moroshkin and the Russian Mafia.
He's protecting you from Dino Sinclair.
But I don't want to be protected. Not if it means being alone.
So the truth comes out. It's not about the mission after all.
Well, yeah. That's what I meant.
If you say so. Either way, you've lost.
"Dino, don't."
"It's not up to you."
"What am I supposed to do?"
"I don't know. Go back to your boyfriend. Talk to your lawyer, see if he can get you an advance or something. Go do whatever a normal eighteen-year-old girl from the suburbs does -- not a screwed-up girl from a broken home with bad grades and a worse attitude." His frustration was coming to the fore again. "--You want to know why you're so good on stage? Because you don't belong there, and everybody who sees you knows it. You're not stupid, you're not weak, you're not... damaged. All those other girls are there because they can't do anything else. You can. So take what I'm giving you. Go back to wherever it is you came from and forget you ever met me."
"What if I don't want to?"
Dino snapped. "Jesus, Angela, do you have any idea how deep the shit is that you're in? Do you want Kostya to turn you into a *whore*? Getting fucked and abused by dirty old men, just for the privilege of living under Kostya Moroshkin's thumb? Because that's what he'll do. God, if you're *lucky* that's what he'll do."
Angela wanted to say that she knew he'd never let that happen. But the thought that he'd cross that line for her, while she was willing to sell him out... it made her feel awful.
She'd take care of herself. And the rest would work out somehow.
"Dino Sinclair, I'm a big girl. I know how to take care of myself. I'm not gonna do anything I don't want to do. Kostya isn't going to turn me into anything. I'm not that dumb."
"You're not that smart, either."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Dammit, Angela, I'm really trying here. I really am. But lately you've just been making a mess of everything. Why are you doing all this? What's gotten into you? What axe are you grinding?"
What? She should be asking him that question. Dino was the one who went toe-to-toe with his boss. Dino was the one who went Neanderthal on a guy. She didn't ask him for this, not for any of it. Why was he blaming her?
Did he know about what she was doing? Who she was working with? If he did, why would he "vouch" for her? Was he hoping to talk her out of it?
"Wh-what do you mean?"
"What do you mean, 'what do I mean?' The strip-" he corrected himself, "the dancing, the thing with Kat, the way you... *enjoyed* Kostya groping you in there... The way you're practically begging me to throw you to the wolves. Is this a revenge thing? Do you think Kostya's responsible for your mom's death? Because even if he was, it's not worth it. Your mom would come back from the grave and tell you it's not worth it if she could."
"I know he's not responsible." Not him. Just people like him.
"What, then?"
For a moment, Angela wanted to tell him everything. She wanted to tell him what she was really after. Who she really was. What she could do. Why she didn't need him to protect her.
She wanted to tell him how her mom really died. What really happened at the Labor Day Incident. Well, most of it. How she knew that if she could survive that, she could survive anything.
She wanted to tell him that she was taking Perfectua, but only fend off her anxiety attacks, and that she wouldn't be taking it much longer.
She wanted to tell him that she'd heard his recordings of Moroshkin and Jacob, and that the police already had copies.
That she was only interested in him as a suspect and potential source of information. That now that she knew he had evidence, she wanted to work with him to bring Moroshkin and his organization to justice.
That she would do everything she could to make sure he was treated fairly.
And that maybe, if he should happen to slip away, she wouldn't look so hard for him.
But she couldn't trust him. She couldn't trust him to believe it.
And she wasn't sure she believed the part about only wanting to use him.
No, she had to lie. She had to deceive him by telling him the only thing that might be the truth.
"I'm just trying to be what you want."
"...to be what I...? Angela, I don't want you to be like this!"
"Liar. You dumped me because I wasn't... mature enough. And when your boss had his hands all over me, you could have said something. But once you didn't, you didn't fix anything by going cowboy on him."
"Oh my God, I can't believe this is all about some stupid crush."
Ouch.
"It's not a stupid crush. I just... I'm tired of being the little girl everybody's trying to protect."
"Well, the Russian Mafiya is bad news. You need to be protected."
"Why do you have to be the one to protect me?"
"Because I... Angela, it's... it's complicated."
"No it's not. I know what you want, even if you don't. I've seen the way you are with those other girls. And your boss... I understand that; you can't say no to him." She didn't really believe that -- at least, she didn't want to -- but maybe if she backed him into a corner he'd tell her why he was behaving so strangely. Because she didn't like the answers she was getting so far.
"I saw the look in your eyes when you went after Luke. Just like when you went after Jacob. And Kat. And I bet you looked the same way at Kostya when you went inside just now. Stop using me as an excuse to wage war on the whole Russian Mafiya."
Woah. That went a little too far. She'd tipped her hand. He had to know she'd heard the whole exchange with Moroshkin. Or that she knew about his secret recordings.
But as usual, Dino pulled back, and she couldn't read him.
"Angela, I don't know what makes you think that."
Angela didn't want him thinking any more on that; she sought to change the subject. "And I saw the way you looked at me when I was up on stage."
Dino reacted hotly. "Well, Jesus Angela, I *am* still a *man*!" Apparently she'd hit a nerve. Was it because he felt guilty for being attracted to her when she was Heaven? "You're amazing on stage, but... it's not you. You're a smart, beautiful girl. You don't need to become someone else. Just be yourself."
"I wish I knew who that was," she whispered.
"So do I," she thought she heard him say.
Neither one said another word. Out of steam, out of ammunition, out of hope.
The ride to the gate of her apartment complex was twice as long for all the silence.