Friday Knight Writers' Block

The Muse War

© 2003 by Arty, Girl Friday, Frank Downey, and Rod Ramsey

Reposted with permission of the authors.

The day started out quietly enough. Arty decided to make a comment about a story that was written in the forum the day before ...

From: Arty
Date: December 17, 2003 8:15 a.m.
Message # 891

> --- Friday PM(DtbN) wrote:
>
> Deliberately, I scuffed my foot over the deck, pushing that soft puddle of silk into the ocean -- then went
> to join her.

Horror! You chucked a perfectly good dress into the sea. Couldn't you have passed it on to OxFam or something? 8-)

[Seriously]
Damn good tease everyone.
[/Seriously]

Arty
(Retreating to his cellar to work on something that's not a FridayTale - and it's all Frank's fault - I'll explain why if I ever finish it.)

Why does he always have to mess with my credentials? I just figured out what the last set meant and here is is changing them again. Just what the hell does PM(DtbN) mean anyway? This has got to stop!

From: Friday
Date: December 17, 2003 9:09 a.m.
Message # 892

> --- Sir Arty of the Cellar wrote:
>
> Friday PM(DtbN)

This has got to stop.

New Rule:

Every time Arty, or any other author, changes my credentials he must fill out the "Request for Change/Addition of New Credentials: Muses, Angels, and Goddesses." Please note this form is six pages long, must be filled out by hand in triplicate (originals only, no photocopies please) and filed with the central office no later than 3 months prior to when said change/addition shall occur.

Any author not getting prior approval to change credentials shall be subject to penalties and fines which may include:

1. No chocolate until the proper forms are filed

2. 6 hours of 'hard' time - type of hard time to be determined by the muse

3. Chewing gum stuck in your hair

And last but not least:

4. Visitation rights with the muse in question shall be suspended until a review board can be determine the seriousness of the offense and other appropriate "punishments" are assigned.

Friday
WMM(CE) -- the only official designation

There. Maybe that would get Arty to stop changing my credentials all the time. Little did I know that trouble was lurking just off the horizon ...

From: Frank Downey
Date: December 17, 2003 10:07 a.m.
Message # 895

As I read the latest from Friday (string of confusing initials), I heard the tinkling laughter. I didn't see her--but, then again, I often didn't. I could only see her if she chose to show herself to me.

Obviously, from the laughter, someone was reading over my shoulder. "I like her," Michelle said. "She's got spunk."

"You would," I muttered. "Just what the world needs, more uppity muses."

"I'm not uppity," Michelle said, the pout plainly evident in her voice.

"No, you just work me to death," I grinned.

"That's my job," she said agreeably. "Besides which, Friday -- though I admire her spunk -- doesn't quite get it. Muses don't get to dictate. Arty can do whatever he wants to her. Her only real recourse is not to come when he calls. Or send him shitty ideas. Stuff like that."

"I don't have to worry about *that*, do I?" I laughed. "I mean, you not coming when I call. I don't *have* to call."

"Hmm?" she said.

"You show up anyway! 'Here, write a Christmas story! Here, write this story about a girl who has epilepsy! Here, one serial and a series aren't enough, so here's two more serials for you to write!' Jeez. If you didn't come when I called, I might get some *rest*!"

"That's the other Muse revenge," she said, laughing. "Making you overwork."

"Oh, *thanks*," I grunted.

"And Friday helped with that, even," Michelle said. "She got you to write two stories for her Song Story thing. I barely even had to do anything."

"Oh, *right*," I snorted. "I was only going to do *one*! You're the one who spent three days flitting around here singing Stacy's Mom!"

"Oh, yeah, I forgot about that. Anyway, we should get Friday to just *overload* Arty with story ideas until he's climbing the walls," Michelle laughed.

"That would be interesting, wouldn't it?"

"Yup. Anyhow, take a break." Then, all of a sudden, there she was, in all her glory. "You need a break," she repeated, and knelt down between my legs, fishing my rapidly-erecting cock from my boxers.

"Uh, Michelle, honey? Not that I don't appreciate it, you understand, but if I don't get DoaL 147 out soon, I'm gonna get lynched."

She looked up at me with a gleam in her eye, and said, "We'll just sic Friday on the lynch mob."

"She won't like that."

"Who cares?" Michelle's grin got wider. "She has to listen to me. I'm a *senior* muse!"

--Frank

Normally I get along pretty well with Frank's muse, Michelle, but some of her comments were not sitting well at all. Senior muse ... indeed. We'll see about that.

From: Friday
Date: December 17, 2003 11:39 a.m.
Message # 897

> --- Frank Downey wrote:

> "Yup. Anyhow, take a break." Then, all of a sudden, there she was, in all her glory. "You need a break,"
> she repeated, and knelt down between my legs, fishing my rapidly-erecting cock from my boxers.

> "Uh, Michelle, honey? Not that I don't appreciate it, you understand, but if I don't get DoaL 147 out
> soon, I'm gonna get lynched."

Any man who would rather *write* about blowjobs, rather than *receive* one when offered deserves to be lynched.

> She looked up at me with a gleam in her eye, and said, "We'll just sic Friday on the lynch mob."

> "She won't like that."

Darn straight. You created that little problem all on your own. *You* deal with it.

> "Who cares?" Michelle's grin got wider. "She has to listen to me. I'm a *senior* muse!"

Wanna bet?

As an author in my own right (hmmmm ... write?) I'm not your standard issue muse.

I don't answer to *anyone*.

Arty can adhere to my rules or I can find someone else to inspire. I've got a waiting list you wouldn't believe.

Friday
In demand, because I'm worth it

Take that, Michelle. Oh, look -- here comes Arty. Maybe he'll stick up for me.

From: Arty
Date: December 17, 2003 12:01 p.m.
Message # 900

> --- Friday WMM(CE) wrote:
>
> This has got to stop.

[Snipped]
ROFLMAO!

Friday you're gonna get me fired! You make me laugh so loud I'm disturbing the folks downstairs!

Is it OK if I dream of 'Friday BM(SWCaG)' giving me a _hard_ time?

Arty
(Running off, laughing hysterically!)

So not only is he not helping me, he's still changing my credentials. *sigh*

From: Frank Downey
Date: December 17, 2003 12:02 p.m.
Message # 902

> -- Friday wrote:
>
> Wanna bet?
>
> As an author in my own right (hmmmm ... write?) I'm not your standard issue muse.
> I don't answer to *anyone*.
>
> Arty can adhere to my rules or I can find someone else to inspire. I've got a waiting list you wouldn't believe.

Oh, shit.

Now you *really* pissed her off.

She's throwing things! Jesus! MICHELLE! WAIT! Those are my........*CRASH*....Springsteen bootlegs.

*sob*

Oh, Jesus, Friday, now you've *really* done it.

I can't control her when she gets like this. She's muttering about 'blackballing' and 'muse conventions' and 'taking it to a vote' and other dark portents of doom.

Don't. Piss. Off. Michelle. Please. It's very dangerous. She's got clout.

And now I'm *never* gonna finish 147 'cause she's too busy communing with the Muse Council!

*sigh*

--Frank

So Michelle thinks she can get me blackballed. Let's see what my knight in shining armor, my author, has to say about that ...

From: Arty
Date: December 17, 2003 12:27 p.m.
Message # 903

> --- Frank Downey wrote:
>
> And now I'm *never* gonna finish 147 'cause she's too busy communing with the Muse Council!
>
> *sigh*

LOL!

Now I've heard (and given) some excuses in my time but I think this one must take the prize as one of the maddest of all time. 8-)

They won't believe it in FDW, you know. And the resultant chanting will drive you mad! 8-)

I can almost hear it from here. LOL!

Arty
(There's a muse loose aboot this hoose!)

So much for my knight in shining armor. Fine. If he doesn't appreciate me then I don't need to put up with Michelle's attitude.

From: Friday
Date: December 17, 2003 12:45 p.m.
Message # 906

> --- Frank Downey wrote:

> Oh, Jesus, Friday, now you've *really* done it.
>
> I can't control her when she gets like this. She's muttering about 'blackballing' and 'muse conventions'
> and 'taking it to a vote' and other dark portents of doom.
>
> Don't. Piss. Off. Michelle. Please. It's very dangerous. She's got clout.
>
> And now I'm *never* gonna finish 147 'cause she's too busy communing with the Muse Council!

Fine. I quit. Satisfied?

I hereby revoke my membership in the muse guild.

There. That ought to make Michelle happy. God forbid I should piss off your muse.

You and Michelle can explain it to Arty. I'm sure he'll understand.

Friday

There. That should fix Frank, Michelle, and the ungrateful Arty all in one fell swoop.

From: Arty
Date: December 17, 2003 1:44 p.m.
Message # 907

> --- Fair Friday wrote:
>
> I hereby revoke my membership in the muse guild.

Clash of the Muses
by Arty

"That's another fine mess you've got me into!" said Arty in Hardyesque tones.

Frank had the decency to look sheepish.

"I don't know what trouble you've been getting into with your muse, but leave mine out of it. OK?"

Frank nodded.

With that thought off his chest, Arty made his way towards Friday with great trepidation; at least this time it wasn't all, or even any, of his fault. 'Yeah, right', he told himself with heavy irony. 'Like that'll make *all* the difference.'

As he approached she turned to face him; he knew it was a cliche, but she looked absolutely stupendous, when she was mad. Before she had a chance to say anything he grabbed her in a hug and started to stroke her hair and shoulders. She sighed and snuggled closer.

"You can resign from the council if you wish, but you don't get away from me that easily my girl." He did nothing to restrain the tears that the thought of life without Friday evoked. "No, that's not right; of course I won't stop you if you really want to leave, but if you go, don't forget there'll always be a Friday-shaped place in my heart."

She looked up and kissed away his tears. "Oh all right, you big softy. Just go easy for a bit will ya!"

Arty smiled broadly. "Great! I won't have to send back the bear suit after all!"

Then his smile faded as he saw the form of a large purple dinosaur heading his way ...

-Fin-

Arty
(Crossing his fingers!)

*sniffle* Okay, Arty's forgiven. Ooops, better deal with the dinosaur ...

From: Friday
Date: December 17, 2003 2:25 p.m.
Message # 908

> --- Sir Arty wrote:

> Clash of the Muses
> by Arty

[snip most of another great Arty tale]

> Then his smile faded as he saw the form of a large purple dinosaur heading his way ...

It wasn't me this time ... I swear. Maybe he just wants to say hello?

Friday

I am suddenly besieged by instant messages from Heathen, Tony, and Frank (!) asking if everything is okay or are we really fighting. Hmm. If even Frank is confused I better do something quick.

From: Friday
Date: December 17, 2003 2:49 p.m.
Message # 909

Okay, it was just a joke.

I knew it, Frank knew it, hopefully Arty knew it.

Ya'll can relax, we were just having some fun.

Friday

Hopefully that reassured everyone.

From: Arty
Date: December 17, 2003 3:59 p.m.
Message # 910

>--- Friday the Tease wrote:
> Okay, it was just a joke.
>
> I knew it, Frank knew it, hopefully Arty knew it.

Never miss an opportunity to cuddle one's muse I say. 8-)

Nor to tell her how much she means to you.

> Ya'll can relax, we were just having some fun.

I certainly enjoyed it. You are one cuddlesome wench! 8-)

Now if I can just keep out of the way of that damned dinosaur!

Arty
(Relaxing after getting another couple of hundred words written on the train.)

Hurray! I do so enjoy being cuddled and he didn't even use new credentials. Maybe I got my point across?

From: Rod Ramsey
Date: December 17, 2003 8:22 p.m.
Message # 913

> --- Friday, WPM (SiA)... wrote:
>
> Okay, it was just a joke.
>
> I knew it, Frank knew it, hopefully Arty knew it.
>
> Ya'll can relax, we were just having some fun.
>
> Friday

Only now I have this vision of Friday looking sexy in her warrior princess outfit. The one designed by Jean Paul Gautier.

Rod
WPM (SiA) = Warrior Princess Muse (Sexy in Armor/Armour)

*Diggin' his own dang cellar*

Awwww crap. Now Rod's doing it. Here we go again ...

--Fin--

© 2003, all rights reserved