BACK HOME AGAIN (Chapter 106)

Sophia and Warren were on the Massachusetts Turnpike headed for Oceanview. It was the middle of May.

"Remind me never to drive from Wisconsin to Massachusetts with a pregnant woman ever again," Warren grumbled good-naturedly.

"Was it that trying, dear?" Sophia smirked at him.

"It's just that I think I wore out the brakes. I've heard 'honey, pull over' so much in the last two days that I think I'll be hearing it in my sleep."

"Fine. You try sitting in a car for two days with a fetus sitting on your bladder."

"For that, my dear, the person carrying said fetus would have to be sitting on my lap. And, as delightful as that sounds, it would, no doubt, hinder my driving."

"Pig!"

"You know it." He grinned at her. "So, now that we're at home, are we finally going to schedule another ultrasound?"

"Already did it. Talked to my doctor at home last week. We have an appointment next Tuesday, with ultrasound."

"Great"

"So…..are we gonna find out?"

"Find out what?"

"You know," Sophia grinned, "the ol' pink or blue thing."

Warren thought about that for a minute. "You want to?"

"I think so. It would make buying stuff easier."

"I suppose."

"Don't you agree? You wouldn't want to buy pink stuff and then have a boy, would you?"

Warren grinned. "Sophia, what color is the shirt I'm wearing?"

"Pink," Sophia said with a giggle.

"Right. I'm an ice dancer. I cry at sappy movies. I'm not a gender-role kind of guy."

"Hmmm. I never thought of it that way, but you've got a point."

"Although, I will agree, for a baby, you might have to do some of that. Because you sure as hell can't tell what they are by looking. If we have a girl and dress it in blue, nobody will know it's a girl and assume that we have A Boy Named Sue."

Sophia cracked up at that.

"However, I would like to know," Warren admitted.

"What do you want?" Sophia asked.

"It really doesn't matter. If I was pressed, I'd probably say girl."

"Really?"

"Really. I like girls."

"Uh-huh," Sophia smirked.

"Boy would be fun, girl would be fun. I don't care. What about you?"

"The same. As long as it's healthy. I would like to know, though," she grinned, "so we can play the what-to-name-it game."

"True."

--------------------------------

They pulled up in front of Sophia's house. Ellen and Kate were there to greet them.

"Well, if it ain't Grandma and Aunt Kate!" Warren teased.

"You just stop it," Ellen grinned at him. "Hi, honey," she said to Sophia. "How are you feeling?"

"Not bad, considering. I have, however, become on intimate terms with every bathroom between Madison and Boston. Yeesh."

"Ah, the ol' bladder pressure. I remember it well."

After Warren and Kate loaded Sophia's stuff downstairs, Ellen fixed them all lemonade.

"So, how are you adjusting to this?" Ellen asked.

"You know what? I'm getting excited," Sophia admitted. "Even with the whole we're-too-young thing, it's exciting."

"I've been excited from day one," Warren said. "Course, I don't have to carry the little bugger."

"You're right," Sophia smirked.

"Hey, Kate," Warren said, "Sophia tells me you've changed your college plans."

"Yeah," Kate said. "I'm going to the Massachusetts College of Art. I decided to try to be an actual painter before settling for teaching art."

"Great," Warren said. "What made you change your mind?"

"A lot of things. I wouldn't mind teaching, but it's not what I really want to do. I want to paint. Plus, Mrs. Bennett--she's my art teacher at the high school--she entered a couple of my paintings in a state-wide show for high school students, and they got raves. I also got raves from the admissions department at Mass Art. All that convinced me that I might be able to actually make a living at this."

"I think that's fantastic," Sophia said.

"Plus," Kate said with a sly grin, "I figure if two part-time scrub ice dancers can win a medal at the Olympics, anything's possible."

"HEY!" Warren shouted in mock-indignation. "I resemble that remark!"

"Listen, Missy, when you get judged the second-best painter in the world--and have a silver medal to prove it--then you can crack wise," Sophia teased.

"Well, I was judged number one in the state, in watercolors--second in oils. Of course, there were no Russian judges on the panel."

"Lucky for you," Warren grinned.

"So, how's Dave?" Sophia asked.

"Uh-oh. Touchy subject," Ellen interjected.

"Really?" Sophia was surprised.

"Things are not so good," Kate confirmed. "He doesn't agree with my career decision."

"Why on earth not?" Warren asked.

"That's a good question," Kate replied. "I can't get a straight answer out of him. I don't know if he's jealous that I have the guts to try this and he doesn't, or if he just doesn't think it's a good risk to take. He won't say, but he clams up and changes the subject whenever my painting comes up. And this is new, he used to be completely supportive. It's caused an enormous strain. We haven't broken up yet, but……"

"Wow," Sophia said.

"I should have seen this coming," Kate admitted. "I should have seen this coming when he was having so much problems with Dad being an ogre."

"What does one thing have to do with the other?" Sophia asked.

"Dave doesn't like upset. He's a very orderly person. He likes his ducks all in a row. Going out with a girl who had a father that didn't like him was an upset. His girlfriend throwing caution to the wind is an upset. I love that part of him--I need it, in fact--but he has trouble dealing with the fact that I am not always like that."

"I'll talk to him when I see him," Warren said firmly.

"Ah, Warren, I don't know if that would be a good idea," Kate said worriedly.

"Yeah, it would. Trust me. I'm more orderly than Dave. At least, I used to be. I'm not anymore. I still try to be somewhat orderly, but going with the flow can be very rewarding. Pookie over there taught me that. Dave needs to here that."

"OK," Kate agreed. "As long as you're gentle."

"I always am!"

------------------

Sophia was helping Ellen make supper when Dan walked in.

"Dan!" Sophia yelped. "Hey! How's my favorite stepfather?" She wrapped him in a bear hug.

He barely returned it. "Hi Sophia," he said formally. "Good to see you back. What's for supper?" Ellen told him, and Sophia withdrew, confused.

He was like that all through supper--when he talked to Sophia, which wasn't much, he was clipped and restrained. Immediately after supper, he withdrew to his study.

"What's with him?" Sophia asked her mother.

"Don't get me into it. That's something you're going to have to discuss with him."

"OK," Sophia said, and walked over to his study. She knocked on the door, and entered as he yelled, "Come in."

"Hey, Dan. You up for a game of chess?"

"No, thank you."

"How about some TV? The Sox are on. Warren's at his folks, so you're the only other baseball freak around to watch it with," she joked.

"No, thank you."

Sophia thought for a minute, then closed the door. She marched over to the chair next to his desk.

"Sophia, I'm busy."

"You can be busy in a minute. Dan, what is with you?"

"Nothing is 'with' me. I'm just busy."

"Ah. Were you busy at supper, when you could barely say a civil word to me? Were you busy when you first came home, and I hugged you, and you reacted like I had the plague? Dan, I thought we settled things between us last summer."

"Yeah, that was before you went and got yourself knocked up!" Dan blurted out. "Dammit, I didn't mean to say that. I promised your mother."

"Mom's not here. What did you mean by that?"

"I have held my tongue since you told your mother you were pregnant, and I did not mean to stop holding it now."

"Dan, I told you--Mom's not here. You want to say something to me, say it. What is your problem?"

Dan banged his desk, startling Sophia. "My problem is, a nineteen-year-old girl, my stepdaughter, who is unmarried, is careless beyond all comprehension and gets herself knocked up, and I watch everyone around me react like this is a good thing! Kate's all excited. Tara and Eric are all excited. Your mother is all excited, and I understand even your father has nary a contrary word to say! It's maddening!"

"You've known I was pregnant for five months and you never said a word."

"When was I going to say something? The only time I've seen you is at the Olympics. I'm going to say something then? Sophia, I'm not that cruel. I wasn't going to say anything anyway, you dragged it out of me."

"Well, Dan, I come home from college and, my first day back, you treat me like something you scraped off your shoe, and I'm not supposed to notice?"

"I guess I'm not a very good actor."

"No, you're not."

"I suppose it's for the best, anyway. I wasn't looking forward to a year of tiptoeing around you. Of course, everyone else does that around you, why should I be any different?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Dammit, Sophia, you've got everyone in your life twisted around your little finger!" Dan exploded. "Your mother walks on eggshells! Even Warren caters to your every whim! Your mother, all I hear is 'Sophia had a rough adolescence, we need to be careful'. And I know damn well Warren feels the same way, with the added kick that he's probably afraid you'll senselessly dump him again! And now you're pregnant. Nineteen years old--sorry, you're twenty now--and you're pregnant because you fucked up, and I sit here, and I wait for someone to tell you that you're an irresponsible brat! But, no, all I hear is 'we have to support her'. It makes me ill. Sophia, you're a screw-up. Nobody tells you that, and you keep screwing up."

"People tell me I'm a screw up," Sophia whispered.

"Yeah? Like who?"

"Myself."

"Huh?"

Sophia hardened her expression. She would not give him the satisfaction of shedding the tears that were welling up behind her eyes. "Dan, you don't know me at all. Not one little bit. You think you do, but you don't. You think you know why my mother treats me like she does, but you don't. You jump to conclusions based on only a few available facts that don't paint the whole picture."

"Then help me out, Sophia. Why else would your mother react with such equanimity to your pregnancy?"

"Because she got pregnant. Two years younger than I am, and her parents kicked her out of the house. Do you know I never met my Grandparents before they died? They disowned Mom because she got pregnant with me. She married my father because she didn't have a choice. She wasn't going to do that to me. There are worse things than your child getting pregnant too early. She knows that."

"OK. That does explain a lot."

"A lot of things have explanations, Dan, but you don't wait for them."

"Fine, but you knew all that about your mother, you know what she went through, I would think you'd be more cautious that the same things don't happen to you! Dammit, Sophia, I thought you were responsible. How could you react to this pregnancy so well?"

Sophia looked down. "I didn't."

"Excuse me?"

"I didn't. I was devastated. I was going to abort."

Dan was incredulous. "You were?"

"Yeah. Don't you think I realize that this was a screw-up?"

"I guess I didn't. I guess I figured that you were in the 'someone will fix my mess for me' mindset."

"Not even a little bit."

"What made you decide not to abort?"

"Warren."

"Warren? He talked you into having the baby?"

Sophia smiled a little. "He didn't have to. I saw his eyes when I told him. He is the one person in this whole thing who did react with nothing but delight."

Dan snorted. "What is he, nuts?"

Sophia had to laugh. "No, he's not nuts. He's in love with me. He also, let us not forget, adores kids."

"Oh, that's right--studying to be a pediatrician."

"Right. Plus, a lot has happened to us in the past few years."

"What does that have to do with it?"

"It's affected his mindset."

"How so?"

"He said to me, not long ago, that he's dealt with losing me, therapy because of that, being beaten and raped, therapy because of that, juggling a brutal class schedule and high-level figure skating, and the arbitrary capriciousness of Russian ice dance judges." Dan cracked up laughing. Sophia grinned, and continued, "He said, compared to all that, having a kid will be a piece of cake."

Dan laughed louder. "He's in for a rude awakening, you know."

"I know," Sophia grinned. "He'll find out."

"Yup," Dan agreed.

"Not really, though," Sophia admitted. "We both know what we're getting into. And, I must admit, I have my days when the prospect of becoming a mother scares me to death. I'm sure even Warren feels that way sometimes, although he'll never admit it. But, really, think about it--we're both rape survivors. I'm an abuse survivor. We lost our way with each other. We got robbed of a world championship by blind judges." Dan cracked up again. "You think about all that--and bringing a new life into the world is supposed to be a bad thing? I can't think that way. A premature thing, a difficult thing, the product of a mistake--yeah. But a bad thing? No way."

"My apologies. You're not thinking the way I thought you were thinking. I am sorry."

"Thanks, Dan. I appreciate it. Look, just talk with me about these things instead of jumping to conclusions, OK?"

"You got it. I should have done that from the beginning, you're right. However, do me a favor in return, will you?"

"What, not tell Mom about this chat? Sure thing," Sophia grinned.

"Well, no, that's not what I was thinking. I was thinking more about Kate. Don't let her think this pregnancy is all sweetness and light, OK?"

Sophia cracked up. "Oh, Dan, considering she's going to be around when I'm nine months along and fat and cranky, I doubt that will happen. Besides which, unless Dave straightens out in a hurry, I don't think you have to worry."

"I know," Dan frowned. "I never thought I would say this, but I hope they work things out. Despite the fact that he took my little girl's innocence, I like him. He's good for her."

Sophia giggled as she got up from the chair. "You're getting there, Dan."

"Uh-huh." Sophia walked towards the door. "Oh, Sophia? What do you plan to tell Ellen?"

"Just that we had a talk, and we patched things up."

"Thanks. You still want to watch the Sox?"

"Love to."

"I'll be out in ten minutes."

"Cool! I'll make the popcorn." She looked at him with a big grin. "You know if it's a boy, we're naming it Nomar."

Dan cracked up laughing. "Nomar Kelleher. Now I've heard everything."

"Nomar Pedro Kelleher, to be exact. Just rolls of the tongue, doesn't it?"

"Go make the popcorn, would you?"

----End of chapter----