THE PROBLEM, AND SHOULD WE MAKE IT GO AWAY? (Chapter 93)

"Oh my God. What are you going to do?" Caitlin asked Sophia.

"We leave for the Olympics in two weeks. All I can do is get it taken care of, and hope that I can do that in time for me to heal to skate."

"You mean, an abortion?"

"What else can I do?"

Cait thought for a minute. "Have you told Warren yet?"

"No. I just found out for sure right now. He's the next step."

"Do you think he'll want you to get rid of it?"

"Of course. I've known that all along. Driven, over-achieving Warren? The Man with the Plan? Of course he's going to want me to get rid of it."

"Do you want to?"

"I don't want to be pregnant in the first place."

"That's not what I asked you."

"It's not a question of want," Sophia sighed. "At least you got me to stop crying. Now I get to go tell Warren."

"If Paul's down there, you can send him up," Cait told her.

Sophia took the elevator down to the second floor. She went to Warren's room. He opened the door for her.

"Paul, can you get lost for a bit? Cait's in the room, she said you can go up there."

"Surely," Paul said. "I was going to go see her anyway. Ciao," and he was gone.

"What's up, Pookie?"

"Sit down," she said. He did, on the bed, and she sat next to him. She was staring at her hands. "Warren, there's no easy way to say this, so I'm just going to tell you. I'm pregnant."

Warren looked at her. "Pregnant?" he said in disbelief. "Are you sure?"

"I took a home test and it was positive. I've known, anyhow. I missed my December period, and now I'm three days late for January's, and I've been getting sick in the morning."

"How did this happen?" he asked her.

She took a deep breath. "I missed a day. The pill, I mean. When we were in Japan, what with the time change, I got confused. I think I missed it the first or second day we were there, I'm not sure, I just know when we got back here and I got back on the proper day, I had an extra." She looked at him. "I'm so sorry."

"Hey, it happens. One day, huh? My God we are fertile. And do you realize our child was probably conceived in a shower in Nagano, Japan?"

Sophia laughed in spite of herself. "I never thought of that. Anyway, I'll go get a blood test but there's no doubt in my mind that I'm pregnant. And we need to get this taken care of post-haste so that I'll heal in time for the Olympics."

Warren stared at her, when he realized what she had said. "'Taken care of?'"

"Yeah. I don't know if there's a clinic here in Madison that does it or not."

"You mean an abortion."

"Well, yeah."

Warren took a deep breath. "OK," he said, in a tone of resignation.

Sophia caught it. "Don't you think that's the best thing to do?"

"It's your body, Sophia, it doesn't matter what I think."

"Of course it does, Warren! Your opinion counts in this."

"I don't mean this to be snippy, but you seem to have already made your mind up."

"Well, that's only because I knew you'd want me to terminate the pregnancy." She looked at him, and realization dawned on her face. "Oh my God," she whispered, "you don't, do you?" He didn't say anything, just stared into space. "You're so driven and committed, I thought for sure you wouldn't want an untimely pregnancy messing that up."

He looked at her. "Do you really want my opinion? Really, truly, even if it's not what you want to hear?"

"Yes, Warren, I do."

Warren took a deep breath. "If you terminate the pregnancy, you'll break my heart."

She looked at him in astonishment. "What?" she croaked.

"Absolutely break my heart. I'll get over it, and it is your decision in the end, but, no, I do not want you to get an abortion."

"What about the Olympics?"

"What about them? Sophia, you're in the first trimester. You're allowed to fly. You're allowed to exercise, and ice dancing is a low-impact activity. See a doctor, don't take my word for it, but, trust me--the Olympics are not an issue. You can skate in the Olympics two months pregnant."

"What about school?"

"You'll be due in early September, from my calculations." Sophia nodded agreement. "We should have the baby at home, in Boston. We'll have to take a semester or a year off--take a sabbatical--but that shouldn't be a problem with our GPA's."

"What about skating?"

"If you can get back in shape for the end of the Grand Prix next year, we request the USFSA to assign us to Cup of Russia and NHK, they are the last two. If not, we shoot for Nationals. Skaters have had babies before."

"Having a baby is a big responsibility. We're young. We're still in school. We've got the skating. It'll be tough."

"No doubt," Warren agreed.

She looked at him. "But you still want to do it?"

"Yeah, I still want to do it. Look, I know the timing sucks. I know it's inconvenient. I know it was a mistake. But that's a baby in you, Sophia. A baby that got made because we love each other. You won't be in this alone, you know."

Sophia started crying. "I didn't expect this. I really didn't expect this."

"Sophia, what do you want?"

"God, I don't know. I was convinced you'd want me to abort. Now I see how wrong I was, and why, I should have known you might not. However, I've come to terms with the fact that this pregnancy was going to be terminated. I don't know what to think."

"Whatever you decide, I love you, you know."

"I know. Warren, I need to think." She got off the bed, walked over to him, and kissed him. "We'll talk later, OK?"

"OK, Pookie."

She left his room and went to her own. Cait and Paul were on their way to eat. They invited her along, but she declined. When they left, she picked up the phone.

"Mom?"

"Hi, honey. How are you?"

"Not so good," Sophia told her. "Mom, I'm pregnant."

"WHAT?"

"Yup. Two weeks before the fucking Olympics, and I turn up pregnant."

"How did this happen?" Sophia explained. "OK, so what are you going to do?"

"That's why I called. I've suspected this for a month. I was all set to have an abortion. I thought for sure Warren would want me to have an abortion."

"He doesn't."

"No, he doesn't."

"What do you want, Sophia?"

She sighed. "I don't know. I was so convinced he'd agree with the abortion idea….well, maybe I convinced myself. Now that he doesn't……I'm so confused."

"Can I tell you a story?"

"Sure."

"This is about a friend of mine. She got pregnant, younger than you. She didn't have your money, and her relationship with the father wasn't nearly as wonderful as you and Warren are. In fact, the father wanted her to get an abortion, and she thought about it, long and hard. In the end she decided to have the baby."

"What happened?"

"Well, the father left, she had to raise the baby alone, and the kid put her through hell for a while. But the baby grew up to be happy, healthy, altogether delightful, and the National Champion in Ice Dance."

Sophia cracked up laughing. "Your friend is you. Neat trick, Mom." Then she got serious. "You considered aborting me?"

"Oh, yeah, I did. And your father wanted me to."

"Why didn't you?"

"I just couldn't. You were a part of me, Sophia. And, you know what? Even when you were going through your difficult period, I didn't regret keeping you. And now look how you've turned out."

"Aw, Mom….." Sophia sniffled. "I take it you think I should keep the baby."

"Hell, no! 38 is too young to be a grandmother!" They both laughed at that. "No, seriously, honey, you have to do what is right for you. What I'm telling you is, if you have the baby, you'll be fine. And Warren will be there, and not leave, and you know that as well as I do."

"That I do. Thanks, Mom."

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The next morning, Sophia woke up and made some phone calls. Then, she went to class, and, after that, went to the student health center.

Then she went to see Warren.

"What's up, Pookie?"

"I went to see an OB-GYN. I asked him all about the Olympics. He said the same things you did. They took a blood test. The results will be in tomorrow, but the doctor thinks I'm definitely pregnant. He wants to do an ultrasound before we leave for Switzerland." She held up a piece of paper. "This is the address for a clinic here in Madison. If we want to have an abortion, this is where we go, and we should be able to get it done in time for me to skate in the Olympics."

"OK. So what do you want to do, Sophia?"

"Do you love me?"

"Of course."

"Will you stay with me?"

"We can discuss the particulars of that after the Olympics, but the short answer is--yes. I'm not going anywhere."

"I can't do this alone."

"You won't."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

She looked at the piece of paper in her hand, and then ripped it up. "Well, then, let's have ourselves a baby, shall we?"

Warren got up and wrapped her in a bear hug. "What made you decide?"

"Well, you had me half decided before I left the room yesterday. Just seeing how much you wanted to keep it made me realize that I did, too. But, then I talked to my mother. Did you know she considered aborting me?"

"No, but considering her age and circumstance, I'm not surprised."

"Right. She told me she didn't, because I was a part of her. Warren, this baby is a part of us. I can't get rid of it. Now that I know you'll support me, no way can I get rid of it."

"My sentiments exactly."

"I love you, Daddy," Sophia giggled.

"I love you, too, Mommy." Warren agreed. "Which reminds me. Now I get to tell my parents!"