KISS ME BABY (Chapter 66)

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All the music I allude to in this novel is stuff I like. If I make you go find it, good. For this particular tune, I emphasize it. If you have never heard "Kiss Me Baby," either by the Beach Boys on the Today album or in the live version talked about in this chapter, STOP READING AND GO BUY IT RIGHT NOW!!!!!! <G>

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"Forgive myself. I hadn't thought of it in those terms before," Sophia was saying to Mary.

"What do you mean?"

"I think I was trying to purge it, get rid of it, get to a point where I could pretend it never happened." Sophia sighed. "Which is, of course, impossible. After we watched the tape, I was really beating myself up. I guess I was waiting for a miracle, that, if we got back together, everything would just be…..I don't know. Back to normal. Bad stuff gone, stupid mistakes gone, poof. And I almost believed it, until I watched that tape, and thought, 'look what I almost destroyed'. And it all came back."

"And, so what happened then?"

"Actually, it slipped away for a while, there with all those people. I had fun. Back in the car, with Warren, driving back, it all resurfaced. And, that's when he said what he said. That he forgave me, and I should forgive myself."

"Does that make sense to you?"

"Yeah, it does." She paused. "I haven't told you yet what else happened."

"Well?"

"Wednesday. Before this. We made love."

"I thought you guys were going to wait?"

Sophia giggled. "You know what they say about the best laid plans…….well, the only thing that got laid, was me." Mary burst out in laughter. Sophia described what had happened.

"You guys made love in anger?" Mary asked, a bit worried.

"No. I wasn't really angry, and I'm pretty sure he wasn't either. We were needy and desperate, both of us. Sometimes I forget that I'm not the only one in this relationship that can get needy. Trying to wait for a while was as much of a strain on Warren as it was on me, even though he proposed it. The dam just broke, is all. Look, sex was an important part of our relationship from the beginning. And it had been three months, almost."

"Do you think the prominence of sex in your relationship, starting at such a young age, has been a problem?"

"To a point. I see where you're coming from. But it's also a good thing. I mean, after that first desperate one the other night, we went back at it, but took our time. He touched me all over. Gave me a full body massage, and I gave him one. And we fondled, and made love, and it was just delicious. There are times when getting in bed and doing whatever is the best way to show someone you love them. I felt so completely loved the other night, and it wasn't because of any hangups, it was because of what he was doing."

"Well, how do you feel about everything?"

"Confused," Sophia laughed. "I feel like we're back together, considering we had sex and that he put my pendant and ring back on." She explained to Mary the significance of them. "But I also feel…..I don't know, apprehensive."

"Why?"

"I don't know. Because I'm still unsure of myself."

"After the first few days this week, you shouldn't be. When I had you in this office Wednesday, you were so mad at Warren, and so frustrated, that I thought you would be in here today crying that you panicked again. But you didn't. You stayed, you had it out with him, and then you guys made love to make up."

"Hmmm."

"The only reason you're apprehensive is because of what happened yesterday--seeing your skating, and having a flashback. You are getting better, Sophia. It is time you realized that. And, Warren's right, it's time you forgave yourself."

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They had picked up extra ice time, since most of the campus was empty for Thanksgiving weekend, and the Wisconsin hockey team was on a road trip.

"I was thinking about what you said for an exhibition." Warren said.

"Actually, I had an idea. 'Crucify', by Tori Amos."

"I know the tune. I like the tune." He thought for a minute. "I don't know. Too bleak, not danceable enough, and too much Sophia taking all the blame again."

She grinned despite herself. "You have a better idea?"

"As a matter of fact, I do." He skated over to the boombox on the boards. "This is a Beach Boys song, but this version is actually from Brian Wilson's Live At The Roxy solo album." He pressed play.

Please don't let me argue anymore

I won't make you worry like before

Can't remember what we fought about

Late late last night we said it was over

But I remember when we thought it out

We both had a broken heart

Kiss me baby

Love to hold you

Kiss me baby

Love to hold you

As I drove away I felt a tear

It hit me I was losing someone dear

Told my folks I would be all right

Tossed and I turned my head was so heavy

Then I wondered as it got light

Were you still awake like me?

Kiss me baby

Love to hold you

Kiss me baby

Love to hold you tight

Kiss me baby

Love to hold you

Kiss me baby

Love to hold you

Kiss me baby

Love to hold you

Kiss me baby

Love to hold you tight

When the song was done playing, Sophia silently reached over and repeated the song. She listened again, her eyes closed, her hands folded, leaning her head on them as she sat in a seat by the boards. She let the stunningly gorgeous music wash over her, let the words envelop her. Then, she got up, played the song again, and took Warren's hand. They started to move, bit by bit, finding their steps together, speaking through gesture and touch more than words. The played the song three more times, and in just those three passes, they had about 75% of a program.

After the third pass, Sophia looked up and Warren, smiled, and said one word. "Yes."

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They went out to eat afterwards, to a Chinese place on campus. "You're limping," Sophia said as they walked there.

"A little. That was the first time on skates since I sprained my ankle, so it's still sore."

"You need help?"

"No." She gave him a look. "Really. I'm all right, I'm not being obstinate. I need to walk it out, anyway."

"OK."

They got to the restaurant and ordered.

"That song," Sophia said. "'Kiss Me Baby.' Is it what I think it is?"

"What do you think it is?"

"Sounds like the verses are the break up, but the chorus is the reconciliation."

"Yup."

"It's perfect." She looked at him. "I had an interesting session with Mary today."

"Really?"

"Yeah. She agrees with you. I have to say it. I think I'm ready to say it."

"Say what?"

She looked at him, smiled, and then took a deep breath. "I forgive myself."

"Good. How do you feel?"

"Great. The past three days have fixed a lot of things in my mind." She looked intently at him. "Are we fixed?"

"Yeah, we're fixed. I love you, Sophia, forever and always."

"And I love you, Warren, forever and always. And I am so relieved!"

"I don't want to say 'forget it, it's over', because I don't know how possible that is, but I do think we can put it where it belongs, in the past."

"I agree. I feel like now I can enjoy college--like I planned, with you."

"And mend the tattered remnants of our ice dancing career while we're at it."

"One of us should call June, and book as much ice time as we can while we're home for Christmas break. We're gonna need it."

"Good idea. I'll call her."

"Cool."

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An hour or so later, they were in Sophia's room, listening to music and doing a little studying.

The phone rang. "Hello? Hi, Mom! Happy thanksgiving!"

"Happy thanksgiving, honey. How are you?"

"Great. Couldn't be better."

Ellen wondered if she was putting up a front. "Good. Did you have fun at Elise's?"

"Yeah. Turns out Elise's little sister is a huge figure skating fan, so it was like having a fan club."

"That's funny. So, how's Warren?"

"MOTHER!" She said, giving Warren a wink. "You ask me about Warren every time you call here! It really gets annoying!"

"I'm sorry honey…….."

"Anyway, Warren is fine. He sends his love." She and Warren were grinning at each other. "In fact, we were just about to start making out when we were so rudely interrupted by the phone."

Dead silence at the other end of the phone. "Sophia, are you telling me that Warren is……."

"Here? Sure he is. Say hi, Warren." She held up the phone "HI. MOM!" Warren yelled from across the room. Sophia went back to the phone. "I mean, come on, Mom. Where else would my boyfriend be?"

"Boyfriend???? SOPHIA! You're back together?"

Sophia cracked up laughing. "Yup! Now you can stop grilling me about him every damn time you call!"

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Sunday morning, Elise was coming back to campus. Alexa had driven them to Elise's house, but had had to come back Saturday, and Elise's car was still on campus, so her parents drove her back. Sophia called her on Saturday, and said, "Bring Sonya with you. Warren and I will give her a real treat."

Sonya was thrilled when Elise led her and their parents into the ice rink, and she saw Warren and Sophia on the ice already.

"Thought you might like a little preview of our programs," Sophia smiled at her.

"OH BOY WOULD I!!!"

They did the Sinatra first--Sonya loved it--and then Warren said, "We came up with an exhibition. We had a rough fall--we did, actually, break up for a while--so we wanted to do an exhibition about that. This is an old Beach Boys song that has been one of my favorites forever, anyway."

With that, they launched into "Kiss Me Baby," which had had the finishing touches put on the previous night. After debating it, they decided that, yes, it was only fitting that it should end with a kiss.

When they were done, Sonya said, "Wow. I can not wait to see that at Nationals!"