"But why do we have to go to church? I'm so tired of it! It's
so boring." Missy complained to her mother. Her mother just went
about her business, openly ignoring Missy and her protests.
"Yeah, just go right on and ignore me but I have news for you,
I'm not going."
Missy's mother yelled up to her brother for him to hurry up and
then she stood in the door way. Her patience obviously gone, she
swung her pocket book up over her shoulder and looked at her watch.
Missy stood her ground defiantly and stared back at her mother.
Missy's brother bounded down the stairs and out the door, not
even noticing the drama. Missy walked over to the couch and sat
down, picked up a newspaper and pretended to read. It was a silly
display of defiance, especially since she never, ever read the
newspaper.
"Missy Anne, get your tail up off that couch and into this car
or you will be reading your obituary in that newspaper!"
Missy didn't move.
"FINE! Then stay here and do whatever you want! I honestly don't
have time for this crap!" There was a long pause but Missy's mother
didn't move from the doorway, knowing that Missy would come if
she just waited her out. Missy got up from the couch and went
to the door, her mother let out a deep, heavy sigh as she passed
through the door.
On the way Missy sulked in the back seat, her brother sang annoyingly
along with the radio. Lately he had started to pretend that he
was some kind of Gangsta rapper and he made the motions and mimicked
the attitude he had gotten from watching MTV. Missy rolled her
eyes and crossed her arms and moved as far away from him as possible.
When they all arrived at church it was the same routine as it
always was; talk, pretend to be nice, stand, kneel and sing. Missy
felt the rage inside her rise with each song and each movement.
She wanted nothing more than to be outside of this building and
outside away from all these hypocrites. They all had the same
routine as her parents, they sinned all month and then came to
church, confessed to the Priest, got punished by God and then
they were forgiven. Over and over and over,the same every month.
Missy surprised her mother by telling her she wanted to go to
confession. Her mother smiled and then looked at Missy nervously.
After all what could her daughter have possibly done in only a
few weeks? But her mother was also happy that Missy wanted to
get involved in something church related, so she let her go.
Missy waited and waited...then she entered the small room. The
Priests had started to do confession in an open room now, face
to face. It was part of a new order sent down by the Pope, mother
church trying to be a little more hip. Missy was nervous, more
nervous than she had ever been in her life. The older Priest smiled
at her and asked her to sit down...in a chair. Missy hadn't expected
the face to face aspect and she hadn't expected to not be kneeling,
somehow kneeling and looking at the floor would have made this
so much easier. But she made her way across the small room that
used to be a dressing room for the Priest, and then she sat in
the chair. She adjusted her skirt and closed her legs tightly
and instinctively pulled her sweater over her large breasts in
an effort to hide them. She never took her eyes off the Priest
and she noticed that he never took his eyes off her breasts.
Typical.
"Forgive me Father for..."
"Wait, darling," the Priest said, cutting her off and taking hold
of her hand. Missy pulled away from his grip and put her hands
back in her lap, pushing down on her skirt. "Let's just talk,
you and me."
Missy felt her anger start to rise. "What the hell is this GOD?
What kind of cruel trick are you playing on me?" she thought but
she said, "So...w..what do we do?"
"Just tell me what sins you have committed and we will go from
there."
Missy was confused, this wasn't the script, this wasn't supposed
to happen. She felt the tears start to sting her eyes and the
Priest looked at her nervously. She could see that he was as uncomfortable
with this new way as she was. Then he said, "But if you would
prefer that we do things like before...we can."
"Yes! I would prefer that. I need that." Missy exclaimed relieved.
A few moments later they were back in the little room, merciful
darkness surrounded her and a cold mesh screen separated her from
the man on the other side. Thank GOD!
"Forgive me lord...for I have sinned. It has been ummm...a few
weeks since my last confession."
Missy didn't wait for the Priest to respond..she wasn't here to
talk to the Priest, she was here to talk to God. "Lord, I know
you understand me...I know you know what I'm going through. I
can't help myself."
"The good lord understands and HE forgives. What can't you help
doing?" The Priest said, sounding much more sure of himself, much
more... commanding.
"All I can think about is ... all I can think about is how badly
I want to see her again. I want you to punish me lord, I want
you to make this punishment a good one Lord, because if you don't
then I'm going to do something that I will regret."
"The Lord doesn't punish the wicked here on earth. If you have
sinned and you come before the Lord to ask forgiveness..."
"But I need punishment now! I need to feel like I have been forgiven,
I need to feel ... I need to know that I won't do this again.
I...I touch myself all the time Lord. I...can't help it." She
paused, waiting for the Priest to say something...there was nothing.
Missy took this as a sign and she felt a new strength rise within
her, "Just this morning I couldn't help it. I lay there in bed
and I felt myself getting excited at just the thought of doing
these things. I wanted to feel them, and touch them and ... see!
I'm getting excited now just thinking about it! I'm so horrible
Lord, I'm a horrible person."
"W..what things did you want to do? Fornication is a sin..."
"No Father, not fornication...I am a virgin." She felt her
face flush at the mention of her own virginity, a closely guarded
secret.
"I...I don't want to...I mean I'm not after for..fornication,
father."
"Then..what exactly is it...you want to do?"
"I...I don't really know. All kinds of things. But I know it's
wrong but I just can't stop myself."
"Missy" The Priest said and she felt her heart stop at the mention
of her name. Anger welled up inside her, she didn't want him to
call her by her name! What was wrong with this guy! She didn't
respond, she only sat frozen, her mind screaming to run, her body
refusing to move.
"I want you to come by and talk with me some more. I know that
you want the Lord to forgive you and he does, but I want you to
know that the church is here to help in other ways. Will you let
me talk to your mother..."
"What!? God No!"
"Not to tell her things you have told me, just to make sure she
understands that I want to talk with you more. She doesn't need
to know why."
"I...I guess so." Missy didn't know what else to say! She just
wanted to run, to get away. She thought telling him what he wanted
to hear would be better than saying no.
"Good, I'll see you then."
A few days later Missy found herself walking up the path to the
little house on the side, the little house that the Priest lived
in. Missy's mother had tried every subtle way she knew to ask
why she was going to see the Priest like this, but Missy said
nothing. She knocked on the door and she waited while her mother
and the Priest exchanged conversation and then she went into the
small living room. After a few minutes her mother left and she
was alone with the Priest.
"Would you like something to drink?"
"Nope." Missy said, holding her head down and trying to hide.
"Well, why don't we start by finding out about your school. How
do you like it there?"
"Is this like some kind of therapy session or something?"
"I'm just trying to get to know you. But if you would prefer we
go right into..."
"Yes, I don't want to do small talk...I want to know if anything
can help me."
The Priest cut off a few lights and Missy pulled her sweater over
her breasts, not looking up at the Priest.
"Then why don't you tell me about your problem."
"I...I don't know." Missy said wishing she had never come here.
"Well you say you are tempted to sin. What kind of sin?"
"yes."
"Then what are you tempted to do."
"things."
"What kind of things?"
"I don't know."
"Listen, I can't help you if you don't talk to me. Just tell me
what you feel comfortable telling me."
Missy wasn't sure but she could swear that the priest sounded...annoyed,
like he wanted her to hurry up. She started to get scared.
"Well, I went to this party and there was stuff going on..." She
looked up at the priest embarrassed.
"Yes, what kind of stuff? Drugs?"
"Probably, but more than that.." And Missy told him
everything. When she was finished the Priest didn't tell her she
was evil or forgiven or anything, he just told her that he wanted
to see her next week.
She said, "Ok."
That weekend she didn't see anyone, or do anything with anyone.
It wasn't that much different than any other weekend. Only now
she spent alot of time thinking about what was going to happen.
She felt like maybe she might get over this, maybe God was going
to forgive her and take all her desires away. Of course he hadn't
done it yet. In fact she lay in bed, her legs spread wide and
her finger still deep inside her wet pussy. She lay there wondering
if God was looking down and hating her? But if he was, then she
decided he was just going to have to watch because she as about
to cum.
And she did, and it was wonderful.
But of course she hated herself after. Of course.
"So when you masturbate, you think of doing things to people?"
"Yes, all kinds of things."
"Like what?" The Priest asked. Missy had forgotten about if this
was weird or not, it just felt so good to finally be able to tell
someone about this and the priest was so calm, so attentive. Missy
kept her eyes down on the floor and spoke softly, "Like make them
play with themselves."
"Hmmm...go on."
"Ummm...like I want to watch them and then when they get close
to...well... you know?"
"It's important that you tell me everything. When they get close
to what?"
"Really?" Missy asked. She was surprised that he wanted so much
detail."Well right now I keep finding myself wanting to torture
this little geek...um...I mean kid that I know, he is always coming
around and wanting to watch me and wanting me to undress for him..."
"Do you ever do it?"
"No way!" Then Missy felt like God would only punish her for lying
and she said, "Well... I did a couple of times."
"Tell me about them."
Missy tried to see the Priest's face but he had turned off most
of the lights and the lamp on the table between them made it hard
for her to get a clear look at the Priest. She decided it was
better that way, better that he couldn't look at her when she
talked about her dirty little secrets.
"Well the first time was when I was like 12 or so but I didn't
do that on purpose!"
"Of course you didn't, tell me about it and be sure to tell me
everything. God knows all."
"Well...I was changing in my room and Jeffrey and his parents
were over and he snuck up to my room to watch me undress. At first
I didn't know he was there, but then I saw him. I wanted to kick
his..umm.. I wanted...Well you know?" Missy listened but he didn't
say anything so she went on, "but instead I just went ahead and
undressed."
"What did he do?"
"Um, I don't know. He watched or jacked...um I mean masturbated
or something. I don't know."
"How did that make you feel?"
"It made me angry, it made me want to take that little thing and
pull it off! But...this is gonna sound weird." Missy said uncomfortably.
"Yes?"
"Well, it made me excited too. Like it made me want to see
him and...well you know? Wait, that's stupid, of course you don't
know." Missy said kicking herself for suggesting that a priest
knew about sex.
" I know what you mean."
Missy's eyes got wide with shock but she thought, 'maybe he just
means he understands. After all, he is a priest.'
"Yeah, well the second time was when I made him dress up in my
mother's clothing."
"Why did you do that?"
"I don't know. Cause the little creep acts like a little girl,
I just thought he should look like one too."
"Did he masturbate this time?"
"Ummm..well sort of."
At first Missy wasn't sure she was hearing things right but then
she was sure that the Priest was breathing heavy! She looked up
and saw that he had his hand down his pants! There was a brief
moment where she just couldn't believe what she was seeing and
then she stood up, shocked!
"Wait, Ummm...Where are you going Missy?" The Priest said.
"What the hell are you doing!?" Missy said. She turned in a panic,
almost forgetting where the door is.
"Missy come back here, I want to talk to you." His voice was calm
and gentle, not at all like she expected it to be. She, on the
other hand,was about to loose it! She turned around and half expected
to see him standing there with his pants down. She was relieved
to see that he was still sitting and that his hands weren't doing
anything. For a moment she thought maybe she just imagined it!
"Just come back over here for a moment and let me explain."
"Explain?" her voice sounded very small, very afraid.
"Just come back over here Missy. It's ok, we are friends."
She walked back over and then he spread his legs a little and
said,"What is wrong Missy, you know I'm not going to hurt you,
right?"
'I...I..." But she was frozen, her fear over powering her and
locking her feet in place. He stood up and and she saw that his
penis was still out, it had just been hidden in the folds of his
pants. She looked at it and then at him and she couldn't move.
"You and I are friends aren't we Missy? You know that friends
should make each other happy, right? Don't you want to make me...and
yourself happy."
Missy watched as his cock started to rise and he moved a step
closer and started to whisper, "I only want to do what you want.
Sometimes we need a friend that can care for us. Isn't that what
you need? You need me just as much as I need you. Come here and
let me touch you...my...sweet innocent virgin."
If he thought he was turning her on, he wasn't. Missy was disgusted
by him and she hated his cheesy lines and she thought he sounded
like an idiot. But he was lost in his own world and Missy tried
to will herself to move. But she felt like she was locked in a
bad nightmare and she just wanted to scream or hit him or something,
ANYTHING!
"Look at you, so beautiful and pure and innocent. Why do you try
to cover up all your natural beauty?"
His hand came up and touched her cheek and Missy just froze, her
eyes were wide and locked on his old, wrinkled face. Then his
cock touched her leg! That was all it took! As soon as she felt
it brush up against her, the fear was broken and instantly replaced
by a rage she had never known. Something inside her snapped. It
was just like something broke, almost like she could feel it break
and then...
"Yeah...you would like that wouldn't you? You'd like to watch
me undress wouldn't you? So you could peek through my door and
jack off?"
"Oh come now little Missy, let your good Father show you what
good friends do. Don't..."
"Listen you sick old man! What the hell do I look like? I'm not
some little kid you can scare into doing sick shit with you! I'm
a woman and you are going to treat me like a woman! Now sit your
scanky ass down! NOW!"
"W..What?"
"You heard me! Sit down!"
"Listen...Missy, I don't think you are being a good girl anymore.
I think..."
"What do you think I am? I'm not some little 10 year old that
you can talk into screwing you! Sit your stupid white ass down
there or tomorrow you will find your child rapin' ass in court!
I'm in charge now and if you want to wake up with a dick tomorrow,
you better sit your stupid old fart of an ass down!"
He started to buckle his pants up quickly and a look of actual
fear came over his face. Fear!! Missy felt the power surge up
from somewhere,somewhere deep inside her and it wasn't anger that
drove her anymore, it was...
POWER!
"What are you doing? Just what the hell are you doing little shit!?"
"This is over,Ummm... I think you need to go home little.."
"Don't you little girl me! I'm a woman! I'm more woman than you'll
ever know you fucking sick child molesting son of a bitch!! Now
sit your stupid ass down and do what I say!! I suggest you fucking
do it now!"
The Priest looked at her angrily but he sat down. Missy felt like
she was in a dream, she didn't see a Priest anymore, just a sad
pathetic little man that couldn't, probably never had, had a decent
sexual experience in his entire life. She put sole of her boot
right on his chest and with the heel of her boot digging into
him, she pressed him back into the couch. Her foot pressed down
hard and she said, "Now stroke it you little worm!"
"What?!"
"You heard me you sick fuck! Stroke it!"
He didn't protest or try to get away, he just started to stroke
his limp dick and soon he was getting as hard as his old dried
up cock would let him get. Her foot pressed down even harder and
she could see he was having a hard time breathing but this only
made her want to hurt him more.
"You want to touch them, don't you?"
"I...I..."
"Yeah, I saw how you look at them all the time, how you want them.
You and every other fucking sicko, but you can't have them. All
you can do is lay there and stroke your pathetic little cock.
"
The old priest's free hand moved up slowly, then he tried to reach
for her breast. His eyes were hungry and his hand was shaking.
"Did I tell you that you could touch me! Don't you ever touch
me!" Missy quickly slapped his hand away and then she pushed off
his chest with her foot and stood in front of him, hands on her
hips, a scowl on her face.
"I'm sorry." He wimpered weakly.
"Yes, you are! You are a sorry little man! Keep beating it you
little pervert!"
Missy turned and saw the lights from her mother's car coming up
the drive. She turned back around and the Priest was trying to
pull up his pants. Missy felt a rage swell up within her and she
ran over to the priest and yelled, "What are you doing!!"
"What are YOU doing? We have to stop, I don't know what your
problem is and I don't think I can help you. Maybe we can both
just forget this happened?"
"You are sick and I hope you rot in hell you fuck! Just remember
that if I ever see you even looking at another kid, I'll go to
the police and tell them everything. If I were you I would quit
being a priest and quit everything, go get some therapy you sick
fuck!"
Missy walked silently back to the car. The priest slammed the
door behind her. Missy's mother ran over concerned and when she
saw the look on her daughter's face she knew she best just not
say anything.
Finally after several minutes her mother couldn't take it anymore,
she looked at Missy in the rear view mirror and asked, "Sweety?
Are you going to go back and see the good Father again?"
"No Mom, I don't think so."
"But...but are you ok?"
"Actually, I've never felt better in my life."
"So he helped then?"
"Oh yes, I think I understand everything now."
"So what now?"
"Oh...I have plans." Missy smiled and her mother felt
anything but good about this. Missy wasn't the same and maybe
never would be again.
On to Part 9: Missy starts to change