Chapter 7

Over the next couple of days, I was in a quandary, at least mentally.
I had a hard time sorting out my feelings about the things that Cindy
and I had done together. I was also somewhat shocked by the things
we saw Kathy and her brother doing, not so much what as who.

For some reason, I felt that my sexual education was like a tornado,
screaming along out of control and sucking everything in its path. 
My mind was in a state of overload and when my raging hormones were
added to the mix, well, it was almost more than I could handle.

I still masturbated when I could and wondered if that in itself
meant there was something terribly wrong with me. When I first
discovered the pleasures of touching myself, I didn't require any
stimulus other than my fingers. As time passed, I found that when I
imagined certain things, I reached more intense and gratifying
orgasms. At first, my fantasies were of faceless boys, but after
being with Cindy and watching Kathy and Brad through the window, the
faces took shape.

Something else that caused me worry was the fact that I didn't need
to be touching myself to get those funny feelings in my vagina. I
would catch myself daydreaming and the next thing I knew, my crotch
was tingling, not to mention my nipples. There were several times
after Cindy and I fooled around that I found my panties soaked just
from my thoughts.

Cindy and I talked about these feelings on the telephone, but it
seemed she always changed the subject to the next time we could be
alone. "Oh, you're just horny, Jen," Cindy would tell me. "Come
over and I'll take care of you."

It wasn't that I didn't want to be with Cindy, I did. It's just
that I was trying to sort things out and she wasn't helping. She
would never admit to having the same feelings or thoughts that I was
experiencing. Again it made me wonder if I was normal or if I was
becoming some sex crazed girl that could never be satisfied.

On the Tuesday evening, a day before my cousin and aunt would
arrive, I found myself alone at home. My parents were shopping and
Eddie was at a friends. Because our computer was in the kitchen, it
was hard to surf for the things I wanted to, without getting caught.

The minute my parents' car was out of the driveway, I was signing
on. I went to a chat room called 'Bi-teen4Bi-teen' and joined,
reading the different users posts. Most of the things in the chat
window were a bit unbelievable, but then a private message popped
onto the screen.

"Hi, Amber here. 18f Michigan. ASL?"

I stared at the message for a few minutes and then typed.

Jen, 13, f, Florida

"Hi Jen, whatsup?"

"Not too much, just surfin."

"LOL, me too. Why this room? u bi?"

Again I found myself staring at the screen. Was I bisexual? Was I
gay? After all, the only sexual contact I'd had to that point was
with Cindy. I was lost for a real answer to the question, but didn't
want the exchange to end.

"I don't know?" I typed.

"LOL!!! Well do U like girls or boys?"

"I've never been with a boy."

"IC, but you have been with a girl."

"Once, but I don't know if that makes me bi or not."

"Like it?"

"Yeah."

"Do it again?"

"Maybe, I don't know. How about U?"

"I have a bf."

"Cool. Do U guys do it?"

"Sure do! All the time."

"Like it?"

"It's GREAT!!!"

"What do U like to do?"

"EVERYTHING!!!"

"LOL"

"I like girls too, Jen. I really like doing it with my bf, but…"

"IC, U don't feel like you're different?"

"No, not at all. The first time I did ANYTHING was with a girl, I
was twelve."

"U weren't much younger than me, I just turned 13 last month."

"The first time I did anything with a boy was at my 13 bday party."

"Really? Who was he?"

"Rather not say, not right now."

"Oh, ok. What did U do?"

"We kissed and I let him feel me up."

"Like it?"

"Yup! Still do."

I wondered if the things the girl was saying were true. It's easy
to lie on the Internet, no one can see you. I'd heard the stories
about men acting like they were younger and arranging to meet younger
girls from the paper. Mom always warned me not to give anyone too
much information when I was chatting.

"Same guy? Is he your bf?"

"No, he's not my bf, but I still do things with him."

"Does your bf know about him?"

"Oh no! No one knows about him and me, except us."

"IC"

"Do U have any brothers or sisters?"

"Brother, a year older than me."

"Cool, I have a younger sister and an older brother. Kinda puts me
in the middle, LOL."

As we chatted, I found out that Amber lost her virginity at 13, a
few months after her birthday party. I guessed she was being
somewhat truthful and decided to ask her a few questions that I
should have really asked Mom.

"Did it hurt the first time U did it with a boy?"

"U mean fuck?"

"Yeah"

"No, I broke my cherry before I did it."

"Really! How?"

"Hairbrush"

"?????"

"LOL I used a hairbrush handle to break it."

"Ouch! Did it hurt then?"

"A little. I must have been kinda stretched out from using my
fingers."

"IC"

"I have a vibrator now, it's not as good as the real thing, but
better than nothing."

Once again my mind was in overdrive. My vagina was twitching as I
chatted with the stranger.

"How about oral sex?"

"LOVE IT!"

"Giving or receiving?"

"BOTH LOL! Nothing like having a hot cock in my mouth"

"Do you let the guy cum in your mouth?"

"Yes, it's yummy."

"U like to have guys lick you?"

"Yeah, but girls are usually better at it, at least my gf is. Have
U ever done it?"

"Once"

"Cool isn't it. I love going down on my gf."

"It was ok."

"U just need more practice, LOL"

"I guess so."

"Is your brother cute, Jen?'

"I don't know, I don't really think about him like that."

"IC, my brother's a hunk."

"Did U ever do anything with your bro?"

The screen remained still for several minutes, my last question
lingering in my mind. What was this stranger going to write back? 
Was the thing between Kathy and Brad a fluke or was incest more
widespread than I thought it could possibly be. I stared blankly at
the screen until I heard the chime from the speakers.

"My brother was my first. We've been doing it together ever since I
was 13. I know it sounds sick and all, but I really love him and
compared to the two other guys I've been with, he's much better."

"Better?"

"Yeah, he never seems to hurry and always makes sure I'm happy…if U
know what I mean. He's the greatest!"

"Wow, it never really occurred to me that brothers and sisters
really did it."

"U'd be very surprised. I'll email you with a link to a site that
talks about it. It happens a lot!"

"Doesn't it make U feel funny, having sex with your brother?"

"No, in fact most of the time we make love, but we have sex too."

"What's the difference?"

"There are many differences, but sex is fun, making love is special.
U can do both with the same person."

"IC"

"U will someday. U'll find out that you can have sex with anyone,
but only make love with someone you love and loves U."

"Do you ever wish U waited?"

"To have sex? No, never. What is there to wait for?"

"I don't know…Marriage?"

"LOL, I guess for some people. For me, if I got married at 21 it
would mean I wasted 8 years of good sex."

"IC"

"Look, I'm not telling U to go out and get laid. Don't do anything
U don't want to do. When you're ready, go for it, but not until. My
little sister, she's 16, is still a virgin, as far as boys go."

"It all seems so confusing."

"Yeah, growing up sucks big time."

"Yes it does."

"Got to run, Jen. Nice talking with U. Maybe some other time, OK?"

"Ok, thanks."

"Bi for now."

"LOL - bye."

I shut down the computer and went to the living room to think about
want the girl said. Maybe I wasn't as strange as I though I may be. 
Maybe I'm just a normal teenager with normal desires and questions. 
I decided to talk to Mom.

Wednesday came and I was up early to help Mom clean the house. My
dad and brother were out in the yard, mowing the grass, cleaning the
pool and cleaning up the flowerbeds. Mom and I finished in my room
and began the unpleasant task of cleaning my brother's.

I heard Mom mutter something, turned around and watched her pull a
tee shirt from between the box spring and mattress of Eddie's bed. 
She held the stained garment between her fingertip and thumb at arm's
length. Mom carried the shirt to the hamper and dropped it in on top
of the other dirty clothes.

"Boys!" she said as she continued to clean.

Mom's next surprise was in a box she pulled from under my brother's
bed. She flipped the top off and began to chuckle. I went over to
see what she found so funny, but she put the top back on and slid it
under the bed before I could get a look.

"What was that, Mom?"

"Just some junk your brother has."

"Can I see it?"

"No, it doesn't belong to you."

"Okay, Mom."

We made short work of Eddie's bedroom and only had the sheets to
change before we were finished. I took the hamper out to the garage,
where the washer and dryer were, and dumped the contents on the
floor. As I sorted the colors and whites, I found the shirt Mom
found so disgusting. I looked at the yellow stains on the white tee
shirt, wondering what they were. I touched one of the blotches and
found it was hard. When it dawned on me what he must have used the
shirt for, I quickly dropped it into the basket of whites.

After starting a load of clothes, I went back to help Mom finish
cleaning. We had completed the two bedrooms and the bathroom and
decided to take a short break before starting on the living room. 
Mom poured ice tea for us and we sat in the kitchen to drink it. As
we sat there, Mom prattled on about what we had to complete before my
aunt and cousin arrived. She stopped long enough to take a drink of
tea and I asked the question that had been playing on my mind for a
couple of days.

"Mom, have you ever kissed another girl?"

Mom choked on her tea and managed to set her glass down before she
spilled it.

"What did you say, Jen?"

"I asked if you ever kissed another girl."

"Why do you want to know?"

I have never been able to figure out why parents always answer a
question with a question when they don't want to answer your original
question. Maybe when I'm a parent I'll understand it.

In order to get my question answered, I told Mom about some of what
Cindy and I did when I spent the night with her. I didn't go into
any detail about the touching or other things we did, but I wasn't
sure she didn't know.

"It's perfectly normal for young girls to experiment, Jen," she said
reassuringly and then as if she could read my mind she said, "It
doesn't mean you are a lesbian, or gay, or anything like that."

I sighed, Mom grinned.

"Have you ever done it?"

"Like I said, it's normal."

"Does that mean yes?"

Mom continued to grin and nodded her head.

"With Aunt Sally?'

That stopped her in her tracks. Her grin disappeared and she got a
real serious look on her face. I could tell she was thinking about
how to answer me, but was having trouble finding the right words. I
also remembered what she told Dad that night I spied on them and knew
she was caught in a dilemma.

"Let's just say your Aunt Sally and I were very close when we were
younger."

At that point, I let it go. I knew that if I kept prying I would
force Mom to either lie or get mad and I didn't want that to happen. 
We went back to our housework and cleaned the living room.

I was relieved that the feelings I'd been having were normal. I was
also happy that Mom didn't launch some endless diatribe about virtues
and the like. The only issue I had left to deal with was incest. 
Mom had all but admitted that she and her sister fooled around, but
for some reason I thought that sex between two sisters was somehow
okay, while sex between a brother and sister wasn't.

Once Mom and I were finished in the house, we got fresh tea for
ourselves, and two glasses for my dad and brother. We took the cold
tea out to the patio and Mom called for Dad and Eddie. When my
brother and father came over to where Mom and I were sitting, I felt
a lump form in my throat.

Eddie was shirtless, his body glistened with sweat and the nylon
running shorts he wore were plastered to his butt. It was the first
time I saw him as a boy, a cute muscular boy. His legs were firm and
the muscles in his thighs rippled as he stood drinking his tea. My
eyes looked up at his chest and saw the definition of his pecs. Mom
said something about the weight training he was doing at school and
how he was filling out, but my brain was whirling.

"Are you okay, Jen?" I heard Dad say. "You look flush, like you're
not feeling too well."

"Yeah, I'm fine, Dad," I managed to say.

Eddie didn't seem to notice any of this, much to my relief. He
finished his tea, put his glass on the table and dived into the pool.
When he got out, his shorts were almost transparent and I could
clearly see his briefs beneath them as well as the lump his genitals
formed. I tried to divert my eyes, but somehow they always made
their way back to Eddie.

Dad saved me when he told my brother it was time to go back to work.
They walked away and I watched as my brother stretched his arms above
his head, flexing the muscles in his back.

"Mom," I said as I followed her into the house, "when can I start
dating boys?"

We went into her and Dad's bedroom to finish cleaning. She started
to strip the sheets off their bed and ball them up for the laundry. 
I asked her my question again, wondering if she'd heard me the first
time, and she turned around and sat on the bed.

"Okay, Jen. Your father and I have talked about this and this is
what we've decided. When you're fourteen, you may go to chaperoned
boy-girl parties. When you're fifteen, if you behave yourself, we
may let you go on a date, but not alone in a car."

"How about when I'm sixteen?"

"We'll talk about that later."

"How about if when I'm fifteen I can double date in a car."

"We'll see!"

"How about if I double with Eddie and his girlfriend, if he has one?"

Mom chuckled and replied, "What makes you think your brother is
going to want to drag his little sister along on a date?"

"I don't know, but what if he does?"

"We'll see."

"How old does Eddie have to be to date?"

"The rules are the same for him, Jen. No double standards. It
drives me nuts when people treat girls, or women different than boys
and men."

"Why, Mom?"

"That's not important right now, it just does."

Mom went back to making her bed and I went in to clean her bathroom.
Mom and Dad had a bathroom in their bedroom with a big shower instead
of a tub and shower combination like the bathroom I shared with my
brother. The only good way to clean the shower was to get in. I
scrubbed the light gray tile walls and floor, took the flexible
showerhead off the hook and rinsed the cleaner away.

I always loved Mom's shower and would use it when I could. After
finishing the rest of the bathroom, I went back out to help Mom. We
dusted, vacuumed and straightened up her room before calling our job
complete.

Dad and Eddie came in and told Mom that everything was finished
outside. Mom and Dad went into their bedroom to get ready to drive
to the airport and pickup my aunt and cousin.

"Go take your shower, Eddie. I'll take mine when you're finished,"
I told my brother.

"Okay, Jen. I'll only be a few minutes."

While my bother was in the bathroom, I picked out the outfit I
planned to wear. I knew we would stop to eat, on the trip back from
the airport, and I wanted to look nice. After picking up and
refolding several pairs of panties, I selected a pair of the new
thongs that Mom had bought for me. I pulled a matching red bra out
of the drawer, tossed it on the bed with the thong and went to my
closet.

I pulled a cute black skirt off the hanger and picked a black
sleeveless top to wear with it. I thought about my underwear
selection and put them back in the drawer, taking out a black bra and
thong.

Eddie pounded on my door, letting me know he was through in the
bathroom. I went in, took my shower, fixed my hair and put on some
mascara. Mom didn't let me wear all that much makeup yet, but
eyeliner and mascara were acceptable. Wrapping a towel around my
body, I peeked out and then quickly made my way to my room. Once I
was dressed, I went to the living room to wait for my parents.

My brother was in Dad's chair, reading a fishing magazine. I sat on
the couch, and leaned over to buckle my sandals. I saw Eddie take a
deep breath, looked up and caught him looking right at me. When our
eyes met, he quickly looked back at his magazine and I finished
fixing my shoes. I realized that the way I was leaning, he could see
down my top. The fact that I wasn't sitting very lady-like also gave
him a peek up my skirt.

Mom and Dad came into the room and told us it was time to leave. We
went out to the garage and Eddie and I climbed into the two captain
seats in our conversion van. Mom and Dad got in and we headed for
the airport.

As we rode along the busy highway, I watched my brother out of the
corner of my eye. I could see him looking at me whenever he thought
I wasn't paying attention to him. Dad and Mom were talking about the
things we were going to do while my aunt and cousin were here. I
half listened to what they were saying, but my mind was on other
things.

I had noticed that my brother was paying a lot more attention to me,
and being less of a brat. I also was aware that most of his
attention consisted of trying to sneak peeks up my skirt, down my top
or staring at my ass when I walked. It wasn't very long ago that
those things would upset me, but that was before and this was now.

Sitting behind Dad as he drove, I could see my brother's reflection
in the tinted side window. I watched his eyes follow my every
movement, and guessed he was hoping my skirt would ride up so he
could see more of me. The very idea that he was trying to see me,
his little sister, made me feel funny. Part of me thought he was
strange, but a much bigger part of me liked the idea. While I wasn't
really sure about boys and the way they think, I guessed that if he
was half as curious as I was, well…

For a few minutes, I considered giving him a real good look, but
decided that it wasn't smart, not with our parents in the front seat.                    <HOME>    <NEXT>