MANSTORY
For in the beginning there was nothing...then God created Adam
written and dreamt by: PMH

Send email to: DancingSatyr@excite.com

Starting anywhere can be a little lonely. I guess it doesn't matter how cool you are, if you don't know anyone then you are going to feel like an idiot no matter what. If you add being in a foreign country to the list, then you are doomed for a label of geekdom.
I could only imagine what all the stuffy Brits thought of me as I came in for work dressed in baggy jeans and a button up green shirt, untucked. I was wearing two silver piercing rings in each ear and my hair was cut short and a little spikey on top. I trimmed my goatee extra close so as to look a little more respectable, but I doubt that it was doing a whole lot of good. The British are very polite and so it's sometimes hard to know if they think you are an idiot or if you are just silly. I think most of them thought I was an idiot but they smiled and shook my hand and said their hello's and goodbye's and all that.

The clock hit the 10am mark and my palm pilot sounded it's little annoying alarm. I gathered my papers and my sketches and headed off for my first meeting with the project team. I was actually a bit early and so I sat down and waiting for the others to pile in. A couple of guys came in, shook my hand and we talked for a bit. Then an Indian man came in and an asian woman and we all sat waiting. Finally the gentleman to my left looked at me and said, "As soon as Harriet arrives, we'll be right on schedule (which he said as 'shhed-ule')."

I nodded a hardy little, "sure 'nuff" and they all seemed to fight the urge to throw me out of the room.
Then she walked into the room. I felt my heart leapt out of my chest as she walked in. I don't think I've seen a more beautiful woman in all my years on this planet! Her dark hair was cut short and a few little strands fell down across her cheeks. She had a sharp little nose and the most beautiful red lips I have ever seen! When she smiled it was like a thousand little angels fell down from heaven and showered the room with a soft warm light. Her cute little business suit was cut tight on her petite little frame, so that every luscious curve and feature was highlighted. It was obvious that she had no single flaw on her body. I could just barely see her little lace bra through her soft button up blouse. As she turned to close the door behind her, I got a view of the nicest ass I've seen since the God's created woman. Heart shaped and firm, she filled her tight skirt like a hand fits a glove. I couldn't really see her legs, but I was positive that they were equally as beautiful. When she spoke, I was reminded of why I took this shitty exchange program in the first place. Oh it was like the voice of a thousand magical flutes and I was totally enchanted. She glanced at me for only a second and I could tell she was as interested in me as she was in the garbage that rotted in the bottom of the trash. But then the heart of a woman is not won by beauty alone and Harriet's heart would be mine.

I was nothing to her. Just another young punk sent in to make all their lives more difficult with all my young punk ideas. I could feel the resentment of my presence radiating off everyone in the room. But it didn't matter, she was here and I had seen my true love, the only woman who would ever mean anything to me. Her name was Harriet and she was British and for years I had seen her, gotten to know her and now I was finally in the same room with her. I felt my body shaking, I tried to calm down.

"Sorry I'm late. Shant happen again." She said, not even glacing my way.

Of course I made a complete ass of myself during the course of the meeting. I said all the wrong things and they made a point of making me repeat things several times because they said they couldn't understand my "accent". I knew they were full of horse shit, but I was prepared to be reamed by the staff and if this was the worst of it, then I had nothing to worry about.

The second time I saw her was also that first day. She suddenly popped in my office and I had to quickly shut off my browser window to keep her from seeing what I was looking at. She didn't seem to notice, perhaps because she wasn't even looking at me.
"May I interrupt you?" She asked ever so politely.
"Why certainly!" I said, excited to see her.
"Can you reduce the size of this JPG?" She asked quickly and matter of factly. My heart raced as she stood in my doorway. I tightened my stomach and tried to poke out my chest and make my little bit of muscle look bigger than it was. Oh, I'm not some geeky computer nerd. No, I work out and play soccer and skate and all that, it's just that I'm still a bit skinny and so I try to compensate by wearing tighter shirts and pretending that I have some muscle to show off.
She stepped a little closer and I noticed that she had removed the jacket that had kept me from seeing the full shape of her beautiful body. Now she stood in my doorway with a blouse on that was almost see through! Mother of GOD! I was in love! I could actually see her little nipples poking through her blouse and they were turning me on so much I didn't even have time to realize what was going to happen. My dick started to get hard and there was nothing I could do! Harriet was standing right over my desk and I was wearing baggy jeans and a tight shirt! The more I thought about it, the more my cock got hard! All this happened in the span of maybe a few seconds and then next thing I know she is leaning across my desk and looking at my screen. Was this woman trying to fucking torture me!?

"Can you network to my computer?" She asked bluntly as if she wasn't aware of the effect she was having over me. As if she was somehow oblivious to the fact that I was now getting a raging hard-on that was trying to force my jeans open and say hello! I actually felt the sweat start to drip down as I caught a glimse of the most beautiful cleavage I have ever seen. Just a slight drop in the fabric of her blouse, just the barest hint of the soft white skin of her breast, but it was enough to push my cock up from the side and now it was sticking straight out, pressing up against my jeans like a shrink wrapped hotdog.
I swallowed hard and said, "Yeah, I think so. What's the name of your computer?"
"Littledoll"
"Ummm...ok,  it'll just take a second or two." I said and tried to drop my arm so that I could somehow cover my raging woody. Harriet watched as my computer tried to connect and then the dreadful glace of death happened. Her eyes dropped!

Oh death! Oh misery! Why oh why are we cursed with the inability to hide our obvious attraction to the opposite sex? Whatever the reason, it was done. She saw it. I know she saw it. I quickly tried to think what I would say if she made some snide ass remark about my bulge, but she didn't. She simply looked up at the screen, helped me get the stupid little picture off her stupid little computer and then she waited (as if she needed to wait!) until I got the stupid little thing saved into a JPG. Then I sent it back to her and released my stupid little mouse so that my stupid little hard-on could go on doing it's stupid little dance. To make it worse, my dick had now decided that it was going to get even harder! The sweat really poured from my body now!

"Thank you...." There was a pause as she tried to find my name. I didn't remember giving it to her, so I quickly jumped in and said, "Matt"
"Oh yes, thank you...Matt." She said and smiled.

There was a moment of silence, just enough to where I felt the stupid urge to say something. You could almost hear the more intelligent side of my brain yelling at me to just shut up, to not say a word, but it was too late. My other brain was speaking and he doesn't know if anything he says is cool or uncool, he just speaks because he feels the need to be heard, "You are really pretty."

Oh, I could hear the words coming out and they sounded as idiotic as I felt saying them. But there is something about a beautiful woman that makes a man's brain a bit of mush. No use trying to figure it out, just is the way it is and there ain't no changin' it. So then my angel, my Juliet, my fairie princess says, "Ummm, thank you." and she pauses as she looks back at me while walking out my door, then she says, "You may have better luck with that line if you try saying it with out the pistol in your pocket. That's a bit cheeky of you." and then she walks away.

I dropped my head to my desk and heard the laughter coming from Graham's office next cubicle over. He pops his head over and says, "I'd just give up on that one. Word is she's a bit of the ol' carpet slider."

"What?"

"You know? Clam diver, carpet muncher, hole puncher."

"What the hell are you talking about Graham?!"

"Harriet is a queer, a lesbian."

Oh, dear GOD! Why did this have to happen to me? I got a hard-on in front of a dyke. Now she was probably on her way to my boss to tell him how I practically raped her in my office! She probably couldn't wait to tell everyone about my disgusting display of male libido. I practically cried!

Then my phone rang.
I looked at it like it was some kind of foreign object that had suddenly been placed in front of me by the secret police. I reluctantly picked it up and muttered a "Hello?" into it, tottally forgetting all the crap they told me I'm supposed to say when I answer the phone. A soft female voice said, "Hello? Matt?"
"Yeah?"
"It's Harriet."
Deep breath... "Yes? Did the JPG work?"
"Oh yes, it worked fine. I was just wondering, perhaps you might like to join me for a bit of tea this afternoon?"
"What? Is this some kind of joke?"
"Sorry, never mind then. Just pretend I never asked, cheerio."
"NO! NO! I'm the one who's sorry. I just thought...well, with what happened, well..."
silence, and then...
"Yes! Yes, I would love to have tea with you."

I hung up the phone and I practically jumped right out of my cubical. Harriet actually wanted to have tea with me! I was going to have tea with the most beautiful woman in the whole office, perhaps the whole British Isle, perhaps the world!!

I quickly ran out of the office. Graham shouted, "Where are you off to?!"

"Harriet wants to have tea! I've got to get something!"

And off I ran like a bullet for my flat.