First Contact

By Daibhidh 

Inspired by, and dedicated with love to, my dear friend Annie

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I lay dozing in the pilot's couch, periodically performing a one-eyed visual scan of the control instruments. As usual all readings were in the green; which was good since the ship was flying on automatics.

I'd lifted from the moon's deep space launch site 35 days ago on a 10 year resupply mission to New Earth, the fourth planet of Proxima Centauri. It was pretty much a trash hauling mission and, for all practical purposes, I was just along for the ride. Union regulations required a qualified pilot be aboard but the ship was perfectly capable of making the trip without any help from me. Of course, the main computer could fail I guess ...but that had never happened in the past 200 years.

I had signed on as a commercial cargo pilot shortly after being kicked out of the Space Defense Force following an unfortunate incident involving Annie, the Wing Commander's eighteen year old daughter. I told the court martial panel that I'd have to be crazy to do anything like that. They apparently agreed with that assessment and decided they didn't need any additional crazy pilots .

It's a good job and I get to visit a lot of interesting new places but it's dead boring, not to mention lonely, between planet falls. I've always thought they should at least require a female co-pilot be added to the mandatory crew but haven't been able to sell that idea as yet.

Just as I drifted back into my reverie involving the Commander's lovely young daughter, a loud warning horn blasted throughout the ship. Panic stricken, I snapped bolt upright, my eyes wildly seeking the cause of this rude interruption. Adrenalin flooded my system as the 'fight or flight' syndrome kicked in but, of course' neither fight nor flight was a realistic option. I slowly regained some semblance of rational thought and realized that the Proximity Warning klaxon was sounding and its red warning light flashing. I could also feel the thrust of the Anti-Collision jets taking evasive action to avoid collision. A large mass of something was nearby and rapidly moving closer! Peering out through the thick front and side ports I saw nothing except the unmoving star field against the absolute blackness of deep space.

Well, something was damn well out there! These systems don't make mistakes like that; much less two systems simultaneously. Something was going to impact my ship! There was no time reach the escape capsule or even to don a space suit. It would be an exercise in futility anyway; I'd be long dead before any rescue ship could possibly reach me, even if anyone tried - which they wouldn't.

Resigned to my fate, I waited for the hull to be breeched by an asteroid, a piece of space junk, or whatever it was that I had been lucky enough to have found in the vast emptiness of space ... and then I was going to die; quickly and quietly in the hard, cold vacuum that existed outside the hull. Well hell, if I'm going to die I might as well be comfortable I thought, as I resumed my previous prone position on the command couch, awaiting the inevitable.

Suddenly the anti-collision jets kicked off and the warning horn fell silent. The flight deck became so quiet I could hear the hydraulic servo motors making their normal minute corrections in the ships attitude. Apparently the crisis had been averted.

Just then I heard a soft thump, as something bumped gently against the outer hull. Well, at least it was a soft collision, I thought. After a few more moments of thunderous silence, I heard another sound from the outside hull. It sounded as though an air lock had mated itself to the main exit hatch.

Thoroughly confused now, I peered out through the window of the entrance hatch and, instead of the normal blackness of deep space, I saw a well lit corridor leading to another ship! Now I was even more confused...what were the chances of another ship finding me in this vast emptiness between the stars, especially without contacting me by ship-to-ship radio before docking? This was getting weirder by the moment.

I moved to the communications console to make sure the system was turned on. As I finished a successful self-test on the comm gear, I heard a soft knock on the exit port hatch. What the hell was going on? Who comes knocking on your front door when you're millions of miles from the nearest planet?

Peering out through the entrance hatch port, I saw a space-suited figure peering back at me! I was so surprised that, without thinking of the ramifications of pressure and atmospheric differentials, I spun the dogging wheel, unlocking the hatch, then pushed the hatch outward. The suited figure caught the hatch door and pushed it out until it locked in the open position, then stepped into the cabin.

The face plate of the suit was so darkly tinted that I couldn't see the person inside. After checking some sort of gage fixed to the right arm of the space suit, the figure seemed satisfied and reached up to release the helmet seal. 

As the helmet was removed, the head of a beautiful young female was revealed! Her short black hair gleamed in the bright flight-deck lights and her soft, sensuous lips curved up into a broad smile. Her dark cat-like eyes were slightly slanted giving her an exotic appearance.

"Greetings Earthman, got room for a hitch-hiker in distress?" she asked in a soft, slightly husky voice.

Thank you God for providing in my hour of need, I thought rather  irreverently. But what was this" Earthman" stuff all about?

Unsealing the body of her space suit without waiting for an answer, she quickly worked her way out of the suit and stowed it on a hook near the open hatch. Turning back to me I noticed she was wearing a uniform of some type consisting of a loose black and red tunic with black, form fitting trousers. Black leather-like ankle boots completed her uniform. Pretty fancy for a space pilot I thought. I was clad in my usual in- flight uniform; white Jockey briefs with a frayed waistband.

"Where the hell did you come from," I asked in a bewildered tone.

"Zanc Romular," she replied curtly, as though that explained anything at all.

"Right!” I responded. " Is this some kind is a surprise inspection to  test my emergency procedures? Who are you ... and what the hell is a Zanc Romular?"

"I do not understand your phrase 'Emergency Procedures', Zanc Romular is my home planet and my name is Anezenanix," she replied rather tersely.

"OK, This is going nowhere! You've got me completely confused now. How about we sit down and you can tell me just what in hell is going on here," I said, guiding her to the empty right pilot's couch then eased myself into the command pilot's left couch.

"Look, I can't even come close to pronouncing your name so if you don't mind I'll just shorten it to Annie," I said, smiling at my own private joke. "My name is Dave, by the way. Now, let's start over. In simple words, tell me the whole story about how and why you came to be here."

She stared at me for a moment, then apparently deciding I could handle the truth, she began her narrative.

"First of all, Zanc Romular is a planet orbiting the star you know as  Ursa Minor."

"That's ridiculous," I interrupted with a snort. "That's hundreds of  light years from here and, at least to me, you don't look nearly old  enough to have made THAT trip!" My god I thought, if she were telling the truth she'd have had to have traveled half way across the galaxy ... that's impossible! She must be suffering from oxygen deprivation. Either that or she's been smoking something funny.

"Thousands of years ago, my people developed a hyperspace drive which makes the term 'light years' meaningless, at least in the context of space travel. With this drive we can jump across time instead of through it, you stupid creature ... and stop interrupting me if you want to hear the story," she snapped.

Properly chastised, I sat back with a rueful grin and said, "Sorry,  please continue."

"Anyway, with the use of hyperspace drive, we have explored most of the star systems in this galaxy and, as far as we know, the planet you refer to as 'Earth' is the only other populated planet in our small backwater corner of the universe. We have been monitoring Earth for a few thousand years now," she explained.” My main drive unit failed a few sleep periods ago and I was trapped in normal space until I could fix it. I was running low on oxygen when I spotted your ship and decided, to hell with the rules, I was going to make first contact a little ahead of schedule."

"I apologize for my manners," I said contritely. "It's just that you scared the hell out of me ...and near-death experiences tend to make me grumpy!"

"Ok, you're excused for your less than enthusiastic welcome. I'm also sorry that my unannounced arrival frightened you but, as my comm unit is not compatible with your antiquated equipment, I really had no choice in the matter," she explained rather sarcastically.

"All right Annie, so we got off on the wrong foot, but we've both  apologized so let's try to get to know each other better. If you are  really from another star system, how is it you speak English so well," I asked tentatively, hoping she would loosen up a bit. I knew that we had both recently had been convinced that our deaths were imminent and were still edgy. What we needed now was to relax and get our heads screwed on straight again.

"Well, as I said, we have been monitoring your planet for a long time and, for the past hundred years or so, you folks have been radiating electromagnetic waves into space like mad. We have monitored everything, from political speeches to “I Love Lucy.” That gave us the opportunity to study your customs and languages. And, by the way, I also speak fluent French, German, Russian, Spanish and Mandarin Chinese."

"Ok, but if that's true, why haven't you contacted us before now," I asked.

"Up until now, you fools have been too busy trying to kill each other off with your petty little wars. First it was rocks and clubs, then swords and spears, then gunpowder, and finally nuclear weapons! That's not a situation that encourages strangers to come knocking on your door," she responded with a wry grin. Instead, we’ve spent our time learning your habits and value systems."

"That also makes sense I guess, at least from your point of view. Have you encountered anything you find confusing? Perhaps I could help clear some things up for you," I offered, trying to placate her.

"Well,” she responded, "The one thing that doesn't make much sense is your method of procreation. Our people reproduce by laboratory cell cloning but, as I understand it, you do it by something you call 'sex' whereby the 'male' places ‘seeds' within the 'female' in some manner. The process is a little vague as your broadcasts never speak of or show the actual process, except in the most general manner," she explained. "We, on the other hand, do not have Male or Female entities, only 'oneness'. Our procreation process produces perfect replicas of ourselves. It would seem to us that the process that you employ would produce unpredictable, and often undesirable, results. Why would an advanced civilization utilize such an unreliable process?" she asked.

"It has some other, more subtle, advantages," I said, lying back and  grinning at the overhead panels. "Am I to understand that your people don't indulge in any pleasurable physical contact?"

She looked at me with a puzzled frown. "Pleasurable physical contact? ... I don't understand. Are you referring to the procreation thing again?"

"Sure, in the course of your studies, you must have picked up on our concept 'love'. There are many forms of love, but what I'm referring to now is the mutual attraction between adult males and females. Well, procreation is a subset of that type of love that involves what we call 'sex'. This is nature's way of insuring the survival of the species. However, sex is so enjoyable that often we humans indulge in sex with no thought of procreation, just for the sheer joy of it!"

"Very interesting," she mused. "I will have to ponder this concept. In the meantime, do you have anything I might find pleasurable to eat? I've been so busy trying to repair my ship, I completely forgot about food until now."

"I have no idea of what your people consider food but let's check the freezer unit and see if anything looks appealing to you," I replied, offering my hand to assist her to her feet. The flesh of her hand felt warm and silky to my touch and, as I looked at her beautiful face, I felt a stirring in my loins.

Watch it, I thought. You don't even know if she has any sex organs; at least as you would recognize them. Also, since you're only wearing a pair of tatty under shorts, you've got no place to hide how glad you are to see her.

I pointed her toward the galley area and followed as she walked to the rear of the command deck. I couldn't help noticing how good her hard, tight butt looked in those form fitting uniform pants! She sure looks human, I mused as I watched her sensuously swaying ass. That's a good sign anyway.

Unaware of my lecherous thoughts, she asked, "Do you have steak? I've noticed that steak seems to be a very popular food on Earth and I'd love to try it."

"Yeah, I'm sure I have some steak in there somewhere. By the way, do you know that steak is the flesh of a domestic animal called a cow? Is it acceptable, by your customs, to eat dead flesh," I asked, forcing myself to abandon my inspection of her butt.

"Yes,” she replied with a smile. "We also raise non-sentient creatures for food but I don't know how they compare to the taste of 'cow'. I believe cow meat will be compatible with my needs however."

God I hope so, I thought. This was going so well, I'd hate to kill her  with a piece of prime sirloin!

I checked the auto chef’s menu and programmed two "Sirloin with  Mushroom" meals, one rare and the other well done, then punched the Start button. "I'm going to have a cup of coffee while we wait. Would you like to try that also," I asked.

"Ummm...yes. As I am going to have to rely on your hospitality for at least a few sleep periods, I might as well experience as many of your customs as possible."

Hmmm, now that opens up some very interesting possibilities, I thought. Handing her a cup of coffee, I watched as she tentatively raised it to her lips and took a small sip. "Yuckkkk," she exclaimed! "It's bitter! How can you drink anything that tastes so foul?"

"Just a minute," I said, taking her cup and adding two sugars and a  little creamer. "Here, try it now. I think this should take the  bitterness away," handing the cup back to her.

"Much better," she pronounced, after taking another small sip. "Very good, in fact."

A musical tone sounded, indicating the auto chef had finished it's  magic. Removing the meals, I placed the two plates on the table. "Ummm, that smells good," Annie exclaimed, pulling the rare steak to her side of the table.

After showing her how to use the knife and fork to cut the steak into edible sized pieces, we settled down to enjoy our meals. I watched her face closely to see if she approved the taste of dead cow. Apparently she did because she polished off 14 ounces of rare sirloin and pushed herself back from the table with a satisfied smile on her face before I had even made a dent in mine!

I punched up two pieces of apple pie with ice cream for dessert, which she devoured with great gusto; both of them!

Jezzzz, I thought. She must be just a growing girl! Oh well, I'm not that fond of apple pie anyway!

After I cleared away the remains of the meal, stuffing the whole lot into the recycler, Annie yawned and stretched, emitting a loud and most unladylike belch. Looking very satisfied with herself, she announced that it was now the start of her normal sleep period.

"Where is your sleeping area," she asked innocently.

"That may be a slight problem," I responded. "You see, this is a cargo craft and the crew quarters are rather cramped. I'm afraid if you want to sleep here we'll have to share the sleeping couch. It's alright with me, if you don't have a problem with it."

"No, why would I have a problem with that. After all, you probably saved my life and we'll be asleep anyway. I'm used to making do with whatever's available," she replied with a quizzical look.

"Right, what’s the problem?!" I replied, grinning at her and feeling like the cat that just caught the Royal sparrow!

I showed her to the sleeping cubicle, then returned the command deck to perform and log the end-of-watch inspection. After checking that all systems were in the green and that we were still on course, I stepped into the 'freshener and let it's ultrasonic waves clean my body. After the terrify ordeal of an imminent space wreck, I was smelling a little gamy. Stark terror does that to a person.

Returning to the sleep cube, I found Annie wrapped in my only light blanket, curled up asleep with her back toward me. As I lifted the edge of the blanket to slip into bed, I was confronted with the sight of Annie's cute naked butt staring back at me. Wicked thoughts flashed through my mind as I slid quietly under the blanket.

Well, actually, those thoughts had been with me ever since she'd removed her spacesuit helmet and I'd seen that my mystery visitor was a beautiful young woman – the sight of her bare butt just brought them raging back to the forefront of my brain!

Without coming fully awake, Annie murmured something in a language I didn't understand and cuddled back against my body. Since the bed wasn't designed for two people, the only way I could get comfortable was to put my arm across her body. As I did so, my hand fell upon her naked breast! Well, lucky me! She mumbled something else and I lay very still so that I wouldn't wake her.

After a moment, I realized that not only was my hand resting on her breast but that my fingers were resting on a pert little nipple. Slowly I moved my fingers, softly stroking her nipple, feeling it expand and harden. Just as I prepared to explore further, Annie whispered softly, "What are you doing?"

I froze like a deer caught in the headlights of a speeding Land Rover. What the hell had I been thinking of? Well, of course I knew what I had been thinking of, but why did I take such a foolish chance?

"I have no idea what you were just doing Dave, but for some strange reason that I don't understand, it felt soooo good; please don't stop," she continued.

"I didn't realize you were awake, Annie," I said in an attempt at damage control. "I was only saying good night to you ... it's an old earthling custom!"

"I don't remember any reference to such a custom in our databases," Annie whispered, " but I think it's rather nice! It made my nipple all hot and tingly ... and I got a really strange feeling in my stomach. I've never experienced a feeling like that before. Whatever you were doing, please continue."

"That's a pretty normal reaction Annie, at least for female earthlings," I whispered, my hand resuming its exploration her firm, silky breast. I realized I was having some pretty normal earthling reactions myself, as her sweet little butt pushed back against my groin! Nuzzling her neck, I kissed her ear, causing her to shudder violently. "Ahhhh ...What was that???" Annie exclaimed, now wide awake.

"That was just a little kiss. You've never been kissed before?" I asked in amazement.

"No, of course not. We have noted several references to that custom during our electronic surveillance, but I was under the impression kissing involved the mutual pressing of lips," she replied.

"That's the most common type of kiss but there are a lot more places where kisses can be very pleasant. Would you like to experience a lip kiss?" I whispered in her ear.

Annie nodded her head. "Yes, I think that would be very informative," she said, rolling over onto her back.

Gathering her into my arms, my hand sought her other breast as my lips closed over hers. Applying a little suction, I let my tongue gently trace the outlines of her lips while I moved the palm of my hand slowly back and forth across her nipple. I could feel her body squirm in response to my passionate ministrations. She slid an arm around my neck and pulled me firmly against her.

"Wheeyooo," she exclaimed, as we came up for air. "You earthlings have some very interesting customs! Can we do that again?"

"Sure," I replied with a happy grin. "This time, try opening your lips a little and touching my tongue with yours, ok?"

"Ok," she smiled. "Is this 'sex'?"

"Not quite," I chuckled, "But I'm working on it."

As we moved into our second kiss, I felt her lips relax and her tongue brush tentatively against mine. As my hand continued massaging her breast, her tongue became bolder until it was well within my mouth, exploring excitedly.

Well now, this was moving along nicely, I thought. Deciding to explore further, I removed my hand from her breast and slid it slowly down her ribcage toward her tummy. However, it didn't move more than a couple of inches when it encountered an obstruction! Using my best Braille techniques, I soon determined that the obstruction was topped by a hot, throbbing little nipple!

Breaking our kiss, I sat bolt upright and flung the blanket off our bodies. There, just below her breasts, was a second set of breasts. These were smaller than the upper ones but perfectly formed, complete with tiny, fully erect nipples. I stared at them in utter amazement.

"Why do you have four breasts?" I gasped, completely confused.

"I have no idea," Annie said. "I didn't know why I had breasts at all until a few moments ago. They always just seemed to get in the way .. and all Romulans have them so I never thought about it too much. However, now I believe them to be dormant leisure sensors."

I leaned down and gently sucked one of tiny nipples into my mouth, flicking it lightly with my tongue. "Ooooo" she cooed, pressing her chest tightly against my mouth. “Those are even more sensitive than the other ones!"

After a few moments of sucking her nipples, alternating until I had ministered to all four of them, I reluctantly sat up and kissed her lips once again while letting my hand drift slowly southward over her stomach to the junction of her thighs. She relaxed her legs slightly, allowing my hand to slip between them.

No surprises here. She definitely possessed a vulva .. well not quite the same as I expected, but a vulva nevertheless. Its lips were not as long nor as pronounced as a you might expect to find on a human … and she had no pubic hair. In fact, as nearly as I could tell, she had no body hair at all; her skin as soft and smooth as a newborn babe's!

I eased a finger between her nether lips and discovered a warm, damp haven. Further exploration revealed that she did indeed have a small orifice corresponding to a vagina but, as I moved my finger forward, I found no indication of a clitoris. However, I noticed that she was quickly becoming very wet with lubrication.

Moving back to her 'vagina' I gently probed the opening with my finger. As it slid slightly into her, I felt series of small round protrusions ringing the opening. As my finger slid past them, she moaned loudly and jerked her hips sharply forward, her tongue driving deeply into my mouth. I had discovered the new and improved model of the common clitoris! The possibilities boggled my mind!

We were both breathing heavily as I eased her back down onto the bed. My arm was still around her shoulders, hugging her tightly to my body. Suddenly she exclaimed loudly, “What is that! “Following her eyes I saw she was staring intently at my crotch. My neglected penis was protruding from waistband of my shorts; hard as a rock, its head a bright purple.

"That's a male penis. I guess you've never seen one before, have you?"

"No," she replied, sitting up and bending forward to inspect it more  closely. "Is this your seed insertion device?"

"Well, I suppose it is, although I've never thought of it in quite that way," I chuckled.

"Can I touch it?" she asked shyly.

"Sure,” I replied, "Just be gentle, it's rather sensitive," I said as I quickly slipped out of my under shorts and flung them across the room.

Annie reached out and ran her soft fingers over its straining head then wrapped her hand around its shaft, squeezing it slightly as it jerked in her grasp.

"Oh, that's nice! It's so hard, but at the same time, so soft and smooth," she observed. "But it's so big! Will that fit inside a female?"

"It has before ...many times," I laughed. Actually it wasn't all that big as those things go, but since it was the only one she'd ever seen, who was I to disabuse her opinion?

Releasing my penis, she lay back into my arms and cuddled against my chest. "Have we had 'sex' yet," she asked.

"Not yet," I said. "Would you really like to try it?"

She was silent for a moment, then said, "I think I would. Are you willing to teach me?"

"Well, I wouldn't do it for just anyone .. but I sort of like you, so sure, why not," I told her solemnly.

"Now?" she asked eagerly.

"Ok, I suppose now is as good as any time," I grinned.

"What should I do?" Annie asked nervously.

I rolled her onto me until she was laying on my chest, her legs outside mine. "Now, push yourself up by your arms and very slowly slide your body down mine until I tell you to stop," I told her.

She did as I instructed and, when I felt her crotch touch the head of my engorged penis, I indicated that she should stop moving. Reaching down between our bodies, I grasped my penis and positioned it at the entrance of her vagina, lodging its head firmly in its small hot mouth. "Now ease yourself back against me very, very slowly. If it feels painful, just stop and rest until your body adjusts to it," I told her.

I felt her press her body down onto my penis, her eyes shut tightly and her face squinched up in concentration. There was a slight hesitation, then the head popped through. "Oooo!" she exclaimed as her eyes popped open.

She continued to press down upon me and her body slowly swallowed my penis, her eyes opening wider with each passing inch. God, she was so hot and tight I wasn't sure I how long could hold off. When she had finally accepted all I had to offer, she grinned broadly and asked, "Are we having 'sex' now?".

"Yeah sweetheart, we're having sex now, at least one version of it. How do you like I so far?" I said with a smile.

"It feels great, I never knew anything could feel this good! What do I do now?" she asked, her eyes shining with excitement.

"You're in control now. Do whatever makes you feel good. Try moving slowly up and down a few inches so that it slides in and out of you." As she complied with my suggestion, her eyes closed again and a look of happy concentration spread across her face.

After a moment or two of this I said, "Ok, now try moving your hips around in little circles." Remembering the placement of her multiple clitorises (or should that be 'clitori'?) I was sure that would really feel good to her.

As Annie slowly started rotating her hips, her eyes popped wide open in pleased astonishment. The up and down movements slowed as her hips rotated faster and faster. Suddenly her look of pleasure changed to one of panic. "Something's wrong, Dave! I feel like I'm going to explode!!!"

"That's normal, honey. Don't worry, you aren't going to explode. What you're feeling is just the onset of what is called a “climax”; it's the most wonderful feeling in the world. Don't stop now, just let your body take control and enjoy it," I reassured her.

"Ok," she mumbled through clenched teeth as her hips gyrated faster and faster. Suddenly, she threw her head back as she screamed "Oh Krili... Oh Krili...Oh Krili!!!!" (I assumed Krili to be a major Romulan deity of some sort) With a final bounce she collapsed upon my chest, hugging me tightly, her lungs gasping for air.

When her breathing returned to normal she murmured into my chest hair, "Krili, that was the greatest feeling in the universe! Can we do it again? Pleaseeee!"

"Of course, Annie," I chuckled, hugging her tightly as I rolled our still joined bodies over until I lay atop her. Raising myself up slightly until I was able to gaze into her eyes, I began stroking myself slowly into her.

"Do it faster and harder!" she demanded.

"Ok," I replied, moving up on my knees and placing her legs on my shoulders. Grasping the top of her hips with both hands, I pulled them toward me while at the same time snapping mine forward.

"Oh, yessss," she cried as my thrusts increased in speed and force. I wanted to give her another climax but wasn't sure I could hold off long enough. Soon she picked up the rhythm and began matching me thrust for thrust.

As our tempo gradually increased I tried to hold back, but the clasp of her hot wetness was driving me quickly to the top. Suddenly, as I felt the muscles of her vagina spasm violently, I drove myself deep into that lovely warmth and exploded!

We rolled apart and lay there breathing heavily; my arm still around her shoulders hugging her closely against my body. "Ahhh, that was even better than the first one," she grinned. "Can we do it again?"

Lord, what kind of a monster had I created???

"Sorry, honey but I have to recover for awhile before we do it again. Males are limited that way. Let's get some sleep now, it’s a long way to New Earth and we'll have plenty of time to enjoy each other. Don't worry, I've got a lot more tricks to teach you!" I murmured as I felt myself drifting into sleep.

After what seemed like a just few moments (it was actually closer to four hours) the alarm klaxon again blared throughout the ship. I went from prone to vertical in something under ten nanoseconds, banging my shins on the night stand in the process! Looking about wildly, the source of the ungodly noise finally burned through my muzzy brain. Racing to the bridge, I slapped a switch, silencing the horn. I could once again feel the anti-collision thrusters firing, frantically attempting to avoid a collision. As I started checking the ship's life support systems, I noticed Annie had joined me; in full uniform and not a hair out of place.

"What is the problem?" she asked calmly.

"Dammed if I know, but it's exactly what happened when you docked your ship with mine," I snapped at her.

"Just a minute," she said calmly, turning to her stowed spacesuit. "I think I know what it is."

Removing a small comm unit from the suit, she pushed a few buttons and spoke into its mouthpiece in that strange language that I didn't understand. After what seemed to be a short conversation, she snapped the unit closed and replaced it in her suit.

"Don't worry Dave, it's only my rescue ship. If you would turn off the anti-collision system, it will make their docking much simpler."

"Rescue Ship! What Damned Rescue Ship?" I demanded.

"The one I called when I was dead in the water and running out of oxygen ... just before I picked your ship up on my sensors," she replied as if I wasn't quite bright. "Didn't I tell you about that?" she added with a girlish giggle.

Before I could respond, there was a loud banging on the main entrance hatch. "Oh, here they are now," Annie said, undogging the hatch and swinging it open.

Four Annie-clones entered the ship. No spacesuits this time; apparently Annie had communicated to them that our ship's atmosphere was compatible with their needs. All four of them wore uniforms identical to Annie's.

Annie introduced me to our visitors, none of whose names I could pronounce, then chatted with them in their strange language. At one point, they all looked at me slyly and giggled.

Well, they're a rude lot, I thought.

Shortly after that, Annie sidled over to me and whispered "You are out of uniform, Captain!" With that, she surreptitiously handed me my tattered jockey shorts.

"Oh god, I forgot in all the excitement .. excuse me for a moment," I whispered, then beat a hasty retreat from the command bridge.

In my sleeping cube, I took one sniff of my sex-stained shorts, decided they were no longer suitable for formal occasions and dropped them into the recycler. Then I rummaged around looking for something more appropriate for greeting foreign visitors.

A few moments later I emerged into the galley, resplendent in new white boxer shorts with little red hearts outlining the fly. There I found all five of the women gathered around the table eating rare sirloin steaks with mushroom sauce.

"We haven't had a chance to get to the apple pie yet," Annie grinned.

"Well, don't eat up all my food, I still have a long lonely trip to New  Earth," I grumbled.

"Oh, don't worry about that," Annie explained, "You're going back with us! I've told the girls all about my adventures and they all want you to teach them about this 'sex' thing that you're such an expert at ... as well as those other 'tricks' you hinted about! And besides, you already told me this ship could make the trip to New Earth and back with no help from you! I'm merely going to take you where you're more needed." The girls all looked at me, grinning expectantly.

Oh, what the hell, I thought. According to my ex-wives, I had never been all that monogamous anyway.

*** The End For Now ***

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