Last 2 versions of whatWereYou

And, believe me, I think I might have qualified, too.

When you've been insecure as I was-- and as afraid of rejection as I have been-- you usually avoid opportunities where you can be rejected by others that you might care about. In hindsight, I realize this is a "best defense" kind of approach: Reject closeness with others before they can reject you.

'Tis a pity I didn't recognize this at the time, but, then, I wasn't paying enough attention to other people considering my own surplus of self-doubt.

As a form of protective coloration this wasn't necessarily the best way to handle things, but, hey, as a geek, no one paid me much mind. The people I was most comfortable in dealing with and getting along with were just as skittish about getting close to me as well, so, again, in hindsight, I realize now that they must have suffered from the same basic anxieties I had. And, at the same time, I wish I had had a clue at the time given how so many of them were as over-sensitive to the "more popular" crowd as I was.

Mind you, I think I had a much better reason for my fears of freakdom than most of the other geeks and nerds did.

It really got worse when my big sister Patty, who I'd idolized for years, came home from college. We stayed up in our room to talk, late into the night, before finally getting under the covers and going to sleep.

Waking up the following morning with my nightgown in tatters surprised me. When I climbed out of bed I was confused and shaky because I was a lot bigger than I was used to being and... and... and...

I've read about these, albeit in an abstract way, as part of sex-ed at school. The reality was, well, *different*.

A quick look at "myself" in the full size mirror on the back of the bedroom door told me the rest of the story. I looked over the body I had, the body of a full grown man, with a boner. A boner that seemed to hurt because I felt the need to pee. It was a good thing my big sister slept through my self-examination.

Well, the penis still hurt and hurt even more as I tried to point it down into the toilet bowl while I sat, without it touching the sides. It took some time and experimentation before I finally let a stream go, and, once it started to flow, the sudden feeling of relief drew a sigh from me, a sigh that didn't sound right to my ears.

But, then, nothing about me seemed right. From a twelve year-old girl, I'd suddenly found myself in the body of an adult man. I have no idea what I wasn't freaking out over this right then, of course, but I was thinking that there were things I could use to learn about boys and men while I was one.

I did worry, just for a moment, that this might be a permanent change. Since I couldn't do anything about it, I just figured to satisfy my curiosity.

Well, the penis still ached and was a painfull part of me as I tried to point it down into the toilet bowl while I sat, without it touching the sides. It took some time and experimentation before I could finally let a stream go, and, once it started to flow, the sudden feeling of relief drew a sigh from me.

But, then, nothing about me seemed right any more. I had been a twelve year-old girl and had suddenly found myself in the body of an adult man. I have no idea why I wasn't completely freaking out over this event at that moment, but, to be honest, I was already wondering about a boy's body, and, at that moment, I realized there were things I could learn now that I had one.

Admittedly, I never expected to be _inside_ one, you know, but, then, I don't think any other girl would.

I did worry, for just a moment, that this body might be a permanent change to me. Since I couldn't do anything about it, I just shrugged and figured on satisfying my curiosity.

During my shower the... the... penis... hardened again. I decided to experiment with it. I knew how to play with myself-- well, my little-girl body-- and I tried various touches until I discovered what felt good to me in this body.

As a girl I was always worried about discovery whenever I played with myself and it was easy to spare some attention to my surroundings. With this body it was impossible for me to think of being interrupted, so, when I came, "my" semen slapped into the shower wall, all observed by my big sister Patty.

"Roger," she asked, quietly, "how did you get in here?"

I was shocked. "Patty, it's me, Pam. Who's Roger?" I was shocked to realize that this wasn't the voice I was used to hearing.

My big sister finally regained her composure and blushed. "Roger is my boyfriend, up at college. Please don't tell Mom, OK, sis?"

I nodded to her. "What happened to me?"

Patty shrugged. "I don't know. That was cool, though, to see you turn from Roger back into yourself. I wish I could do that..."

Well, at least she wasn't freaking out on me.

She then looked at the wall where the semen I'd shot when I had climaxed still clung and suggested I use the sprayer to wash it down the drain. She started to giggle as she watched it clump and then sink.

Patty didn't freak out but whatever had happened to me had sparked her curiosity, too, as well as my own.

We spent the rest of her winter break trying to figure out what happened without talking to mom and dad. While I did somehow turn into Roger again, I also spent a morning having turned into Kimmy, an older girl from down the street, though I looked like her from several years ago. That awakening got a real blush out of Patty. She finally admitted, after swearing me to secrecy, that she and Kim had been lovers.

Patty did teach me how to play with myself when I was a man, which I thoroughly enjoyed. She even taught me about oral sex, or, as she called them, blow jobs. Admittedly, I did most of my learning by being the recipient. We did some experimenting so the education wasn't all one way.

Throughout middle school and then into high school I stayed afraid. Afraid of exposure. Afraid of scaring people I wanted in my life. Afraid of becoming something even uglier than I thought I already was.

Whenever Patty came home from college she and I would spend time together experimenting with this "ability". Over two years of on-and-off shifting into Roger's body, for instance, finally hit Patty hard. I was fourteen when, as Roger, I had my first fuck, with Patty. Patty apologized for it but, well, I was hooked. As a girl I was trying out some of Patty's toys, too.

During this time period Patty learned how she influenced my shape-shifting. Through some self-hypnosis, she was able to manage her dreams so that I could be who she wanted me to be.

All through high school I was Patty's "extra Roger" and she kept me pretty sexually satisfied when we did that. By the time Roger was finished with his residency, I was ready to go to college.

By that time I had come out of the closet for Roger during his residency. Like my big sister I found him attractive, and, with his acceptance of me as not only Patty's little sister, but, with him not freaking out when he and I looked like twins, his smile at his wife started to look more like a smirk. He thought there was some good potential in this trick.

Of course, Roger had me take a turn fucking my sister with the copy of his dick I was wearing, albeit after he had. It was a different sensation for me.

So, that night, I slept in the same bed.

I woke up with my brother-in-law pounding his hard cock into my body. I discovered what it was like to be on the other end of the dick I'd worn before and my body was sending me into orbit, just like Patty had been sent there when I'd pounded into her.

What I didn't realize was that Patty walked in before we were through and, on our finishing up, she asked, "Hon, did you realize that you finally popped Pam's cherry?"

Roger was panting was he looked down at me, then at his wife, then down at me again, before muttering "Oh, shit! I'm sorry, Pam, you looked and felt just like Pat!"

My sister giggled. "She sure responded to a vigorous fucking just like I do, too!"

Roger turned to her, asking "You're not mad? Dear?"

Patty giggled. "She fucked me too, you know, and kept me turned on, just for you. So, yeah, I'm not mad. You've got a lot more fucking to do with my little sister, just to catch up with me, and, dear, I ain't giving up my time with you, either."

We kept Roger pretty sated. It was amazing how much his attention span grew. I have to admit that being fucked damn near senseless did wonders for my ability to concentrate on things, too.

_

Going to college, for me, was a big change, though I do sometimes wonder if a lot of it was from being accepted by Roger.

Well, at least Roger could make love to me when I was *me* even though we learned that he had quite an imagination, too.

One day I woke as a hermaphrodite, apparently from one of the scifi books Patty was reading, well equipped to be both a man and a woman, all at the same time. We experimented with me sandwiched between Roger and Patty, all of us laying in a fucking pile. I loved it even if both of my partners didn't find it as special as I did. At least I had some nice repeats, albeit at my request.

Sex is fun with people you love.

I was about to learn what sex was like when your partner-- or partners-- neither love nor care for you.

_

Outside of my sister and her husband, I'd been a loner. With the caring, affection *and* acceptance I got from Roger, this bolstered my confidence.

Until I fell prey to a date-rape drug.

The aftermath of being questioned due to being the last person to see my two assailants alive was a bit of a shock. Knowing that their eviscerated bodies were marked with huge teeth and claw marks was a further shock. Given that I'd been drugged kept me from being considered as involved in their deaths. I was asked if I had any large cats as pets.

I did have vague memories of having seeing a sabre-tooth tiger walking through the halls, but that memory was a weird one because I thought I saw it walk by in a mirror. That others came forward with the same impression pretty much ruled me out as a killer. Having "woken up" in Roger and Patty's back yard, naked on the grass, added to my disorientation.

Of course the release of a security camera feed of a sabre toothed tiger stalking along the sidewalk outside the apartment building had the zoologists at the university panting. That there weren't any tracks on pavement did not help and the dogs lost the trail fairly early.

Roger told me that I had probably killed those two boys given their abuse of my body. He's not sure how I became what I became, since I seemed to require someone else as a catalyst to provide the imagined form, but he spent some time wondering if I was able to mentally "hunt" for someone with the "right" dream to borrow. He told me I must be more than slightly psionic.

This story also prompted my brother-in-law to start some of his research... using me as a subject. It wasn't a real study, of course, but he was curious.

Given his specialization in oncology he had access to some very useful genetic analysis gear. He was looking for various markers to see what made me special. One of his first discoveries, comparing me with Patty, was that we weren't full sisters. Samples covertly taken from both our mom and dad showed that dad wasn't my biological father. Once we got over _that_ shock we wondered who my biological father really was. Neither Patty nor I were willing to ask our mom that, of course.

So Roger started with tissue samples of me in my "native" state.

When I had Roger's shape, we discovered that I was carrying Roger's genes. When I shot a wad of semen as him, it wasn't distinguishable from his own. My tissues, when I was "him", were a copy of his. He soon told me to avoid robbing a bank or store with his body. I laughed.

We soon learned, with my other transitions, that the same kind of trick happened. I took on the genome of who-- or what-- I became. Somehow. We certainly couldn't explain *how* this happened, we just had to accept it.

Waking up as a dog, or a cat, was interesting... and the genetics were consistent. Roger couldn't explain how I could do that and had given up trying. He just continued to collect samples so that he could scan for markers.

As that hermaphrodite I wanted to be on at least a monthly basis, again, the genome wasn't mine. He did wonder who I copied it from. That one had interesting DNA that Roger thought was engineered.

_

In the midst of all of these discoveries I was dealing with a pair of particularly obnoxious pricks; one, a boy, was in my Psych class, and the other was a real bitch in my Sociology class. Eric was arrogant and popular and bereft of functioning brain cells... and seemed to think that I was put on this earth to help him pass that course despite his heaping insults on me. Meanwhile, there was also Tina, who was the female version of Eric. She lorded it over all of those who actually had working brain cells yet was dependant upon us to help her.

My sister occasionally hung out with me and followed me to some of my lectures. She giggled over those two arrogant morons and wondered how they got someone to take their tests for them.

So when Eric got particularly offensive to me-- after all, I wasn't built anywhere near as well as my big sister, so his "ironing board" comments often hurt-- I stayed angry. That night I wondered what I could do about him.

When I finally exposed the reason for my bitchy mood to Patty, she laughed. "You already have part of the answer. Eric and Tina are two of a kind. You just have to do something that will take one down, and then the other. And hopefully it'll be something you can live with having done."

So that's why Eric got hauled away for raping Tina. All the forensics pointed to him which invalidated his alibi. What really did surprise me was that Tina wasn't on the pill and her parents were more than a little bit religious. "Eric" got her pregnant... and she'd have to deliver the baby or be disowned by her parents.

Nowadays I wonder whether that child was going to be a shifter like me.

I'll admit that committing that particular rape wasn't fun, no matter how much I disliked her. I'll admit that the time afterwards her increased verbal abuse of everyone around her did not help her cause and went a long way to assuage my battered conscience. I also suspect that she was bothered by the fact that she got off during the time I fucked her, even though I'd had to tie her down into a position where she would not be able to see me morph back into myself.

I'll admit that I knew how hurt and sick I felt after getting jumped by those two idiots. In some ways the drugs had loosed an animal that could take vengeance, but, having very vague memories of that time, I had some distance. With Tina, though, it bothered me to have become their kind, even for fifteen minutes, but Tina's after-the-fact abuse took only some of the sting out.

_

Things changed yet again when I finally got comfortable enough with a classmate named Paul.

I was pleased at how well Paul and Roger got along, even before my secret was revealed. It took Roger to tell me that he figured that Paul could handle it.

I was pleased at how well Paul and Roger got along, even before my secret was revealed. It took Roger to tell me that he figured that Paul could handle it. Patty confirmed that viewpoint.

Paul and I fucked each other's brains out that morning. After we had our mutual climax, I could see the shock on his face as my breasts and hips shrank back to normal. Instead of immediately expressing this, however, he rolled us into a warm cuddle, kissing and sighing and telling each other how much we loved the other.

It was after half an hour of affectionate cuddling that he finally asked, "Did I really see that? Did I really see you with larger breasts? And then they shrank back?"

I nodded as his lips grazed my shoulder and kissed it. "Yes. I seem to become whatever you dream of. I don't know quite why, and I sure have no idea how it really works, but I have some guesses about what the rules seem to be. Yes, I'm a freak... and I love you."

You must realize that I was tense, worried that he'd freak out over this weirdness. I got another kiss on my shoulder as he squeezed me in his arms. "I love you, Pam. I think I might love you more because that is so fucking cool, too. I wonder what the limits are? I'd like to see what we could do at a SciFi convention." I heard his giggle and got yet another squeezy hug out of him.

Then we fucked again. Paul told me he thought that my ability to morph made me too damn sexy for words. It felt good to know that he found me attractive as I was. Even more, it seemed he found me even _more_ attractive because I was "different".

Paul and Roger got along much better once my secret was shared. Patty liked how Paul had responded to me, having worried about me finding someone able to accept me for who I was... and am.

And then the three of them teamed up, interested in finding out more about my "talent".

Roger soon found Paul's scifi interests as input to my talent very useful. We got tissue samples of Vulcans and Minbari.

Don't let any Trekkies kid you, by the way. A Vulcan body is _very_ amenable to wild sex. Over a week or so we learned a lot about Vulcan sexual response. And, yeah, being a touch-telepath was _fun_, too!

We learned that Minbari aren't sexually compatible with human beings. The half-and-half variety, however, is wonderfully compatible. Being a bonehead was fun.

Paul is well read on the internet, too, given the lack of socialization and sexual contact, with a lot of it being erotic material. Not only did we make love as human beings, he and I arranged experiments to have fun with fictional body forms.

Fairy with big butterfly-ish wings? Yup, though all of the papers in the apartment were scattered when I came. And, yeah, the wings didn't like to be touched. It's a good thing that we didn't try having me fly more than a minute or so.

Humanoid fuck-Bunny? Yup. And, yeah, I enjoyed that form.

Big sexy cat? No problemo, though doggie position seemed to work the best.

Even waking up as Eccentrica Gallumbits, the triple-breasted whore of Eroticon six? Not only yes, but *Hell* yes! My erogenous zones extended at least a couple of miles. It was almost dangerous for me to be in that form because I spent it in an orgasmic daze, which bled over into people within a couple of hundred feet of me. It's a good thing this caused me to pop back so quickly, of course.

A "spider" from an artie story? Yeah, though Roger was real anxious getting close enough to me for a sample, he managed to do so. It took too long trying to figure out how to reach climax while in this form that I shifted back before I could.

We couldn't find any limits.

Admittedly, I had long ago learned that an orgasm hastened my change back to my native body, but I could spend several hours as a "something" if I didn't have a sexual climax, even if I could only have a self-administered orgasm.

Unfortunately, non-corporeal life forms must not be able to really enjoy "life" to the same degree as we biologicals, being unable to reach an orgasmic climax. I spent hours without a body and got to explore without being seen. It took a bit to get a grip on the senses such a being would have but I managed to work it out. Needless to say, there were no tissue samples.

Another form that couldn't reach orgasm is a cyberman. I was still me, within that shell, but it was no fun at all.

Roger took tissue samples as much as he could. He whistled at my "more than myself" form and made sure to get samples to compare with my "real" self, too.

We had a wild time but it always felt wonderful when I woke up next to Paul when I was _me_. I was reassured by these times that he loved me as I was-- and am.

_

Then, one day, I awoke as my "enhanced" self, and, even after Paul and I finished draining his balls into me while I screamed out in ecstasy, I did not return to my native form.

Roger went over me with a fine tooth comb. Patty enjoyed the plan to shop with me for new clothing. It took a couple of days like this to get comfortable with the reality. Any morphs, when done, dropped me back into this form.

After a visit to my gynecologist, we discovered that I was pregnant. Roger concluded that one of my alien forms must not have been protected by my oral contraceptive and must have ovulated. Paul beamed and proposed to me again, insufferably pleased that he'd gotten me to finally agree and that he'd be a father, too.

But I felt that Paul didn't think it all the way through. Sure, he'd be a father.

But a father of what?