Last 2 versions of wakeup03

All right, so Nina slept on her own schedule which seldom matched mine. She usually went to bed later than I did, usually when I was already asleep, so I can fall asleep when alone and can sleep through her climbing into bed.

Granted, I didn't dare wake her in the morning unless she'd pre-arranged for me to do so. It seemed to work out well enough since I seldom woke up alone; I'd awaken and hear her breathing (and sometimes snoring) in the same bed with me. There were times when it frustrated me that I couldn't just cuddle up to her but, for the most part, it was easy to let her sleep on.

All right, for business trips and the like, yeah, I had to wake up alone. Those weren't fun because of that.

Dawn was taking far too long to arrive. This delay in the sun's arrival gave me a lot of time to think.

In those pre-dawn moments, as I prayed for the night to end, many of my little self-doubts came back to haunt me. I also talk to myself, holding both halves of the conversation.

I've heard that there are six personae in any relationship between two people: the "real" couple, the self perceptions of the couple and the cross-perceptions of their partner. So I measured my perceived self against how I saw Jasmine-- and found myself falling far short.

I do not think very highly of myself so my self-perception likely does not match reality. Meanwhile, I tend to assume that others will see me as I see myself.

Yes, I talk to myself. Well, more like insult myself. If you listened to me at times like that you'd hear me mutter imprecations at myself, usually starting with "You idiot! You've captured their stunt doubles! Nobody could _really_ like you much less want you! She won't have missed you!..." and so on. It usually goes down-hill from there, in a feedback loop from Hell.

So, that night, quite a few of my fade-outs were with tears of despair.

I had no idea...

Those times of intense self-doubt tend to reinforce my fears and prepare me to harden my heart to cope with disappointment.

I've never really considered myself a warm person ... at least, until I'd met Jasmine. I was sure that everything we'd felt in the last two days would have been swept away after this night apart from each other.

While I prayed for dawn to come I also dreaded losing my new lover in the cold light of day. I felt certain that she'd see me the way I saw myself. It was with mixed feelings that I finally watched the sun rise.

As much as my spirits tried to lift with the sun my fears had an easier time rising.

_

I was finally getting used to waking up in this pile of people. I usually don't like to be awakened before I feel like I've gotten my fill of sleep but the morning challenge (upon which my breakfast depended) waits for no man ... or woman.

Yeah, I was still unhappy waking up here but that was nothing new. We all took turns taking our morning piss and even showering to feel clean after all the activity the evening before.

Charlene was the first to get the challenge ticket while I sat on the bed, dreading the kind of demeaning act I'd be expected to go along with. I wasn't paying enough attention until I realized how quiet it was, my three fellow prisoners passing the ticket around.

Allison was reaching into the door when I found myself tackled by Harry and Charlene, pulling my arms together over my head. I was so startled that it took me a few seconds to believe this was happening and to try to fight them off of me.

Before I could even get started I found my manacled leg being pulled, something snapped around my wrists and a click from that direction, then, while I was puzzling that one out there was another manacle snapped on my left ankle, then I felt the tug and another click.

All of my companions backed away from me. I looked around as I tested my bonds.

First, my arms were pulled "above" my head as I laid on the bed, where I couldn't see them. That was bad.

Next, I discovered that my legs were secured and spread pretty widely. Only the leg that was cabled to the floor wasn't spread widely...

Well, given my position, when the cable running into the hole in the floor suddenly started pulling taut, I realized that my legs were going to be opened wide.

This whole situation was like the worst nightmare anyone could ever have. Laying with my legs widely spread was a distinctly compromising position to be in.

Now I'll admit that the bonds weren't all that uncomfortable but physical comfort did not make up for the anxiety I felt being so thoroughly exposed to everyone else.

After I'd been screaming at them for this as they sat there impassively looking at me I finally quieted down to listen to them.

Harry spoke up first: "I think we're going to regret that we followed those orders. She's _pissed_!"

I was still panting from my efforts to dislodge myself so I watched the other two women nod. I finally asked "So now what? Now that I'm helpless are you going to rape me?"

Charlene showed me the card, positioning it to make it easy for me to read it. It directed them to secure me in this fashion, have Harry put the cream from a small packet on my vulva and clitoris while Allison would inject the contents of a syringe into my urethra and another applicator (like I used for fighting off a yeast infection) into my vagina. They were then not to touch me, especially in any sexual way, until the lunch-time challenge ticket. My companions were free to have sex, preferably in full view of me, as they might desire, again as long as they didn't try to touch me in any sexual way. That avoidance of sex with me was comforting to read though I had no idea why this was being done.

I was still reading and thinking about what was being done to me when I felt something cool massaged into my vulva and gently touching on my clitoris. I had to admit to myself that Harry was being very gentle and considerate of me as he apologetically touched me where I didn't want to be touched. Allison was also very gentle with the vaginal applicator and urethral syringe as she followed the directions by pushing something deep into me. I was helpless to fight them off or otherwise stop them; only their careful, clinical and considerate manner made it less like an act of abuse and more like an example of caring.

I thought I could handle this as long as they didn't try to touch me down there again to remind me of my helplessness. If anything, I learned that I could trust them not to push this any further. I didn't hear laughter...

It was after I was fed breakfast by my three co-prisoners that I realized they really _weren't_ comfortable with having tied me down to the bed; each was very gentle and caring as I got each bite of the breakfast bar and sip of water. I felt Allison and even Charlene stroke my scalp, trying to comfort me. Even Harry showed warmth and caring during this period, telling me again that they really didn't want to hurt me.

It was funny to feel punished by being tied down but also be treated with such tenderness. I was actually starting to relax.

My fellow prisoners and I were talking about work and even making political jokes when I felt the first signs that I was being punished. It was a feeling deep inside me.

I didn't like it.

The first identifiable (to me) indication of a problem was the sensation of wetness between my labia. The tickle felt like droplets of water running on those lips. I'd never felt the like before in my life; it felt *weird*.

Laugh at me all you want. With my legs spread the way they were, my lower lips were open enough to expose my clitoris to the open air. That's always made it easy to stay dry in the past and I'd never found it exciting in any way.

Actually, I've never really been all that excited before, so I can say that I've never been this open and exposed.

Today I was learning something new. There must have been some kind of medication in the cream that would cause me discomfort. I whimpered loud enough as an itch ran up and down my labia. I was more aware of the skin of my clitoris than I'd ever been before.

Charlene looked over, a concerned look on her face, asking "What's wrong, Nina?"

I felt humiliated to have to ask someone to look at my most private areas, but I felt like I had to. "Something is wrong with me... down there. Could you look, please?"

She shifted position, smiling, and, as she moved down to get a good look told me "You can't even say pussy, can you? Or cunt? How about box?" She paused, looking closely at my intimate parts. I imagined I could feel her breath and the itchy tickle got worse for a moment as I thought about it. "It looks like your pussy, your cunt, your box, your coochie is all excited. Your cunt lips, both sets, are all swollen, red and wet. It smells pretty good to me, and I'm mostly heterosexual."

"Could you check my parts? I'm feeling itchy down there. It almost feels ticklish."

I heard her giggle. "Allison, check this out. I've never seen her clit this big in all the time we've been here and her cunt is really swollen and wet, too. I think her body is _horny_!"

I _hate_ the word horny. That one word could usually turn me off instantly. I have too much self-respect to ever use the word or accept its use.

This day I had little choice. The word cut into my excitement a little but could not completely defeat the feel of my sexual flesh as the tingling from there poured over the rest of me.

Having two women taking a close look at a part of my body that I still saw as "dirty" bothered me. "It's not funny. I can't move or shift enough and I want to adjust myself." I tried to move which did move the parts around a bit but all that did was make things worse.

I heard Harry speak up "Damnit, don't touch her down there. We were specifically told to not touch her until we get told to, probably at lunch time. So she has to lay there for another hour and a half before we know if we can touch her then or not."

That's when it hit me; I was ready. "Can you blow on me to dry me off?"

Charlene looked at me with big eyes. "I don't think that is permissable... and I happen to know, from experience, that it _won't_ cause you to dry off. Far from it. I don't think I've _ever_ been as wet myself, even after getting sprayed down by a lover trying a money shot. You are something else right now."

Allison chimed in with "And, lovie, you smell good to me. Right now I'd love to have my tongue in your cunt but," she paused, then moaned out "Ohhhhhhhhhhh". I watched Harry behind her and, with the motion they took on I knew what they were doing together.

Knowing they were fucking in front of me-- heck, over me-- bothered me. The discomfort between my legs had a warm, slick and yet itchy feel to it and I kept trying to move my crotch around to change the feeling.

In that motion I realized that I was making a mistake; the exposure of so much of my vulva's internals to the air must have been making it worse. I could feel the lips touch and rub against other parts of me. My clit buzzed. I was going crazy... and I couldn't stop moving. This then made things worse and I felt like I had to move.

I also couldn't help but think about what would feel good. It wasn't like directly scratching my labia would help much since that'd hurt.

So I spent a lot of the time no longer able to pay much attention to the others regardless of what they said or did. I couldn't stop my squirming, even though it made the tingly tickly itch worse. I had no idea how I was going to feel by the time lunch came around.

There was almost a sense of irony; I'd gone from avoiding any touches on or in my vulva to a state where those kinds of touches were what I desperately wanted.

_

I was feeling pretty low when I got to the food unit and it looked like Jasmine hadn't slept any better than I had, looking almost disconsolate, her shoulders slumped. She had problems meeting my eyes... almost as much as I feared to meet hers. I sat next to her, afraid to reach out to her and have her reject my hand, certain that she realized I was really a loser in the cold light of day and that she'd made a mistake having anything to do with me.

I was sitting there feeling miserable when we finally heard the gentle chattering sound of the challenge printer start up; the click as the ticket was popped from the slot had me looking up at it...

Jasmine didn't move to get the ticket and I finally looked at her. She looked away as I started to look at her.

My spirits sank. She couldn't stand to be near me any more, I was sure of it. With our separation over-night, she'd realized that, considering we'd been forced together, that she no longer needed to be "trapped" with me.

With my own spirits sagging, I got up and went for the ticket.

The challenge we faced was not one I was enthusiastic about trying and I wasn't sure how to face her myself, but I brought the ticket to her, afraid to look at her eyes, expecting to see her reject me, before finding a place to sit away from her.

"Joel", I heard her voice, my head down.

I grunted.

"You don't want to kiss me any more, do you?"

"Of course I want to! I don't see why you'd want to kiss _me_ again. I figure..."

I was silenced by being pushed onto my back and finding my lips firmly attached to Jasmine's. I melted under her, the tension I'd felt dissolving instantly as my arms waved about and wrapped themselves around her. My heart soared as we kissed, our tongues joining in silent conversation.

With her tongue and lips attached to mine, Jasmine and I told each other of desirability. My hands rubbed and scratched her back, attempting to show her how comfortable I wanted her to be in my arms. In a like way, her arms worked on my neck, arms and both shoulders letting me know, just through touch, that I was hers as much as I'd touched her and claimed her for my own.

There's only so long fears and doubts can survive such an onslaught of affection; it didn't take long before these fears and doubts, despite our weaknesses, reached zero and we rolled over and plunged together.

In the cold light of morning we were, if possible, closer than we'd ever been before. All doubts of my fitness to be with her fled just as her own doubts that I could find her worthy of my attention became no more than a morning mist, burned away by the sun.

Finally sated, breakfast was pleasant as we fed each other. We then bathed and chose to walk around the island before I broached my fears in her presence.

"I don't think you realized how I expected you to look down on me; I was so certain you'd see me as unworthy of your love this morning. I really felt that you'd have had a chance to realize that I wasn't good enough for you. I was so sure you could do so much better..."

She stopped me, kissed me into silence. "Joel, I was so certain that you'd find me repulsive once you didn't need to be with me. I'm the wrong color, for instance. How could you show me off to your friends, family and co-workers?"

I laughed, just one short bark, aimed to the sky. Irony indeed! "Good God, Jasmine, do you realize how many people who know me would look at you and think that I'd just won the lottery? A super-model's face and figure, a personality that is positively angelic, a voice that could get an erection from a corpse... Is it any wonder I doubted you'd want me?"

She stared at me, looking uncertain. "But I'm no great beauty! I see pictures of myself and cry! I'm so ugly! My face isn't pretty, Joel, I'm just... and you're a wonderful man, with a wonderful smile, a comfortable personality that feels good to wrap myself around. You could do so much better than me. I mean it."

It is so very strange to face someone who carries the same poison in their veins; perhaps facing another who shares the same pain was is what we both needed to start healing?

So we stopped, I took both of her hands in mine, facing her, looking at her eyes as her own glittered, filling with tears, as mine were. "Jasmine, I won't lie to you. I don't know where, when or how, but if I ever had an image of an idealized woman, you've exceeded it by a huge margin. It's like I can't help but love you. I want to care for you, I want to love you, hold you, protect you, carry you..." I stopped and shrugged. "It sounds like I've doubted myself about as much as you doubt yourself. You're a beauty in face, form and the fire in your eyes, your smile inflames me ... and I am honored to be here with you."

What a long speech, but I'd finally expressed my heart as forcefully as I could. I wasn't alone, of course. "Joel, I won't lie to you. Sure, you're as white as a fish belly, but that can be fixed a little bit at a time. You're older than I am, but there's something comforting in that. Your face is pleasant, your body is... well, there's one part that's become my favorite but the rest of you is quite all right to me, but you have the most alive eyes I've seen for a long time, a melodious voice and a smile that makes my pussy meow."

We stopped at that moment and embraced, our arms wrapped tightly around each other. Our mouths found each other and we spent a surprising amount of time swabbing tongues.

When we finally headed back to get some kind of lunch I told her how much I feared rejection. I learned she'd not had an easier time dealing with her own fears there as well.

I'm not sure if it was so healthy for both of us to share the same fear but it felt good to *know*.

The six personae in this relationship were getting closer to matching reality.

_

By the time the lunchtime challenge was printed I was half out of my mind, my crotch in constant motion, hoping something would happen that'd feel good, my ass cheeks even clenching while bathed in a puddle of my own lubricant.

All right, maybe I was completely out of my mind; getting some kind of sexual satisfaction was the only thing that could fit in my head.

My first warning of the change happened when Allison climbed on top of me and I felt something slide in between my labia and into my vagina. It had to be a dildo as our breasts met and rubbed.

Now my tits hurt. Usually I can't tell what, if anything, is happening to my nipples. For some reason I couldn't avoid feeling my body as it seemed to come alive.

In other words, the sense of penetration made up for any of the other possible distractions.

Allison was on top of me and started stroking the ... dildo? ... into me. I could not stop my first reaction: I shrieked out my first climax since...

Heck, it was the best climax I'd ever experienced. Ever. I panted as I came down from the peak as Allison continued to stroke into me. I almost told her she was wasting her time.

Every previous time I'd ever thought I'd reached climax was a lie; this was apparently the real thing. But even then I have *never* gotten seconds and...

All I knew at that moment was that this felt good enough that I wanted more!

At this point I knew Allison was not wasting her time; I could feel my nipples tingling with the rest of me again as she kept using the strap-on between us to pound into me, our breasts stroking back and forth against each other.

I couldn't believe this! This felt *great*! It took almost no time before I was ready to come again.

And, for once, I *wanted* to!

This time I screamed out a warning and heard Allison tell me to come for her... which I couldn't stop by that time.

Allison stopped, looked at me as I calmed down. "Want more, Nina?"

I couldn't resist this, I felt _good_! "Yes! More!"

"Really?" she asked again.

I was out of my mind; I could feel the spasming of my vagina around the motionless dildo, trying to feel motion from it again. I still felt an itch seeming to come from deep inside, so I answered her with a "Yes!"

I reiterated my frustration with "Pleeeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzz!"

I moaned as Allison withdrew the tool and started to cry as I was being abandoned. I wanted something sexual, for the first time in my life, and it hurt to have it taken away.

There was no way I could stop from making a loud and happy groan as I felt myself penetrated again.

My eyes snapped open again as I felt something bump into my clit and saw... Harry! He stayed still, arms to my sides, over me, and he asked "You still want more?"

If I'd had no burning sensation of need within me I would've declined... and missed out. Instead I tried to push myself at him as I said "Yes, more!"

The next moment I hated him-- he hadn't moved. And I felt the need inside me. He asked me again, saying "Tell me what you want me to do for you?"

I couldn't say it, my brain said.

My loins told me what to say. I told my loins no. They upped their demand, telling me again what to say... and I couldn't stop them from taking my voice, "Fuh! Fuh! Fuh!" came out before I finally surrendered my voice and screamed "Fuck me, Harry! Fuck me hard!"

My body had rebelled; my mind was no longer in control of me. As Harry started to stroke into me I started crying, humiliated by that moment of weakness.

It took less than a minute to stop crying; between being tied down and whatever drug I'd been given, I hadn't had any real choice and discovered that not worrying about how I looked at this moment was worth it.

All right, it felt good. Actually, it felt great to feel a man's warm body part as it stroked in and out of me. Because of the extra sensitivity I had down there I had very little choice but to pay close attention to what was happening.

Charlene lay next to me and started asking me how it felt to feel the edge of his glans as it worked in and out... and how his pubic bone felt when it smacked into my own mons.

I couldn't escape the words; I couldn't think about anything *but* the sensations of this sex act. She kept up her questions, not getting answers from me as I moaned out my excitement.

Her questions made me _think_ about what I was feeling in the sex act. She didn't give me a choice but to think about the sensations I was feeling.

I had no choice this time; it wasn't just my body talking or thinking any more, my mind was sucked into the whole sordid episode and so, this time, all of me, mind, body and soul, kept coming, over and over again, announcing to all of my companions with screams and cries of completion.

It was a glorious experience! Where had I been all my life?

_

There was no challenge for lunch beyond a reminder to talk about the future. So, over lunch we talked. After lunch we went for another walk, making a stop to soak in the cool water for a few minutes. We were soon walking again.

Between the enforced diet and the exercise of walking I felt like I was already losing weight. We'd walked enough that my feet could handle the hot sand we came across now and again much better.

We had our quiet times, when we'd just walk, swing our hands and smile, and I'd think about how wonderful a woman I'd been put here with.

After one such period of silence, Jasmine asked me the kind of question that shook me up: "So, hon, I'm still a single girl, what are we going to do? I can tell that it bothers you to think about Nina. Why?"

I sighed. Jasmine was too damn smart for me. I needed more time to think about this. I wasn't willing to give up Jasmine, that was certain. I faced her and dropped to one knee, taking and kissing the back of her left hand. "If I have to divorce Nina just to marry you, I'm yours. I'm _not_ going to give you up, sweetheart." I was startled, realizing that I'd called her 'sweetheart' and meant it. She smiled down at me, a warmth running right through me. This wasn't a sexy smile that she would back up by telling me to fuck her, this was a smile for me to feel her love for me. I went on "I'm not really all that comfortable, though; there's a part of me that still feels like I owe some kind of loyalty to Nina, but that part isn't willing to tell the rest of me that I should surrender you. Of course, since you're likely to bear _my_ child, unless you've been given some long-acting contraceptive, I will be damned if I am willing to take any chances of losing you from my life. For years I told myself that I could do without children of my own... but..."

When Jasmine and I spent time to cuddle and kiss it was like we were one. Even sex, as pleasurable as it was, didn't carry all of the nuances we could communicate. It was good when we could just cuddle and share our warmth.

The afternoon was long but we talked again of where we each lived, our telephone numbers and e-mail addresses, our IM ids, about our friends...

The hard part was talking about our significant others. She and I discussed our feelings about both Nina and Eileen, Jasmine's lover. I was wondering whether they'd be able to deal with both of us and each other.

Dinner's challenge was to masturbate in front of each other, taking turns. And talking about the experience while doing it.

What a fright. For both of us.

There's still a tendency to believe that I should hide some parts of my sexuality from my lover; I didn't realize that the key part of love is trust that one's partner won't be offended just as we won't be offended to see _them_.

There's still a tendency to believe that I should hide some parts of my sexuality from my lover; I didn't yet realize that the key part of love is trust that one's partner won't be offended just as we won't be offended to see _them_.

And that's how she came to have a line of semen running up her abdomen; my first spurt got her but good. The following spurts ended up in the grass and my dazed mind was thinking about what the wet spot would probably feel like.

Jasmine never moved, laying there with my semen running onto her bare mons. Her hands stroked her nipples for a very short time and she told me how she felt when I looked at her nipples and licked my lips. She told me how wet she got as I played with myself and asked me how wet she was.

I moaned. "Sweetheart, you are so wet down there..."

"Joel, use the right words. Pussy, cunt, clit... ooooh"

"Your pussy is dripping. It looks delicious. I'd love to do the alphabet on your big hot clit..."

With that she moved a hand down and hid the sight from me, using my semen along with her own lubricant and rubbing back and forth, circling her clit, with little forays down to her dripping hole.

I was ready to pounce when she finished her ride, so our dinner was delayed. She got off three more times given how ready she was despite how quickly I came.

I was ready to pounce when she finished her ride and she let me know she was ready for me so our dinner was delayed. She got off three more times given how ready she was despite how quickly I came.

_

Lunch was delayed as Charlene, with her own strap-on, had her turn with me. I gave her my approval.

Approval? I almost begged for her to fuck me. Then Allison again, and...

Once all three had taken me for three rides each, the binders were removed and placed back in the drawer to be disposed of, along with the strap-ons.

I missed the strap-ons already. It was nice to be able to move and, with that, I tried touching myself. That felt _good_.

Lunch was larger than usual with some extra goodies; apparently I put on a good show.

Once we'd cleaned up (and I'd managed to dispose of the semen Harry left inside me) and I'd played with myself some more, we took a break and started to talk over what I'd gone through.

Charlene asked me "How do you feel now, Nina? Now that the stuff's been washed out of you?"

I looked around. I looked at Harry, looked down. Damn. He was soft. I think the look of disappointment shown on my face made my feelings known.

Charlene spoke again, "You still want to fuck, don't you? You're still horny, aren't you?"

I still found the word "fuck" uncomfortable, but this time it was pulling me in two directions; yes, I was offended to hear the word fuck and even the word 'horny' applied to _me_ but, at the same time, it felt like a fire lit on hearing them, suggestively.

I'd learned something so far since being dumped here: I knew about tongues and how they can feel and I also knew enough about my companions so I pushed Allison over and dove into her pussy as I plopped my own in her face.

It was only later, as my drive wound down, that I started to question myself.

I thought it was fortunate that there were no challenges issued at dinner.

I thought it was fortunate that there were no challenges issued at dinner; I think we were all, for the most part, pretty well fucked out.