Last 2 versions of preConceived2

He'd put this occasion off until all three of his children and his charge could be here, for this, without discomfort. It also had to await his Lord's decision to spend time at his District home so that there'd be little distraction.

Kelli was still slowly recovering memories of her identity after her cryo-revival but it was accepted at this point that she would never recover enough to be able to return to her fleet. Injuries this deep in the brain were unlikely to ever be completely healed, much less restored.

It was strange how well this woman who'd been a mercenary soldier just a year before had fallen so well into the role of caregiver for his children, seemingly providing her a degree of happiness and pleasure she'd become comfortable with. The swelling in her abdomen spoke of something more, now, but he knew she wasn't likely to ever go home again, hoping she would always see him as her home.

It was quiet, here, the rustling of the grass in the gentle breeze adding little to the gentle sounds of a distant wind chime. His children seemed happy and his son was skipping along happily as only a 5 year-old could, despite the somber mood of his father.

When they reached their destination he helped Kelli sit down on the grass, doing his best to ensure her comfort in the gray shipknits she still preferred to wear. His children gathered around her, his youngest child placing herself on the woman's lap, bringing a beatific smile to this woman who had, at one time, delivered death to her enemies.

He was busy setting up a tripod and placing the ceremonial bowl on top of it; to this he first added wood chips. He then took a small pair of scissors and snipped off a lock of his hair, placing it in the small bowl, before going to each child and repeating his action, mixing their hair together. As a final step, he strode over to the woman who, despite her injuries, had cared for his children, and gently snipped off a lock of her hair.

She gave him a questioning look; not a disagreement, but a look of loving affection. He couldn't help but soften his face and smile back, knowing he already loved this woman. He couldn't help but share a gentle kiss with her.

He reached into his pouch again and pulled out a set of small packets, adding the locks of hair in each of them to the hanging bowl. His lips moved silently as if reciting the names for each sample. Finally were the locks of hair from his Lord and Lady... and their heirs.

It can't be said that this very tall man was performing this process without upset; his children quieted down as they saw the tears running down their father's face. They were all bright enough, even given their ages, to know this wasn't a time for questions, knowing their father had always tried to explain his actions to them afterwards.

It was only as the flames rose up from the bowl that he spoke aloud, speaking to the headstone, here in a corner of the family plot. "I miss you, dear heart. I've missed you for too long now and I wish I'd been able to spend more time with you before your final firefight. Your visits to me... to us... were more important to us than I could ever let you know; I knew where you needed to be, and knew I had to let you go so that you could *be* the person you are. All of us are here, even Kelli, the woman Elli sent to me."

He reached out to Kelli's hand. His Lord had spent time to show his armsman his lover's death... from over twelve different helmet cameras. He'd seen the firefight so many times and heard her last word-- his name-- before she'd been incinerated by a plasma arc. The records had shown Kelli step into the breach and avenge his lover's death before being mortally wounded herself. His hand squeezed Kelli's.

"She doesn't remember, yet, what she did. She may never completely recover that memory, happening so shortly before she'd been cryo-prepped, but *I* can remember, for her."

He smiled at Kelli, who smiled warmly back at him. She'd been sent to his Lord's house as a place to recuperate, a place to recover and find herself again. With Kelli's poor hopes of recovering more than a minimal set of her memories, she was a strange mix of young and old-- well, she wasn't really any older than he was-- which seemed to help her with the children.

And, after the interment of his lover, the mother of his three children, just months before, she'd pressured him into giving _her_ a child.

All right, so he liked the convenience of the replicators, but there was just something beautiful in a woman carrying a baby within her body.

All right, so it was even more special to him that it was _his_ baby.

He snapped back to the present and had his children hold hands with Kelli and himself, making a circle around the burning dish, the smoke threading up into the sky. "Children, your mother is here, in the ground beneath us, dead. You know this, now, right?"

Each of his children nodded, their eyes on his still-leaking orbs. Kelli's weren't empty but they showed longing; she knew she was missing something, but cared for this tall man who'd been by her side as she'd slowly rediscovered small fragments of her past.

"So this is the time of goodbye, the time to speak to her, and the time to let her go and start our lives again. It is time to look to the future."

It was difficult, of course; there were delightful things in the past he didn't want to let go of, but he knew, for certain, that history may be important but one could not live *in* the past but *with* the past.

He turned his eyes back to Kelli, a woman who'd effectively died and been frozen for later revival in the same battle that had incinerated his lover.

"Children, your real mother can never come back... but Kelli may, if she wishes, stand in for your mother from now on."

He felt the circle break as his son Aaron jumped to Kelli, the first to wrap her in his arms, followed by his little sister Bethany and oldest sister Terri.

He wasn't sure who was happier-- the children, for getting a mother who wouldn't be leaving them-- or the woman who was carrying their half-brother, who was almost drowning in the acceptance and affection of her charges.

It had been strange that his lover had left a message to be sent to him on his death, urging him to consider taking in a woman soldier who needed recuperation. He addressed his lover's spirit as the smoke thinned "I will love you always, but, through you, I've also learned that I have enough love in my heart for another. For this I must thank you. For our children... I must thank you as well."

He then sat again next to Kelli and his-- well, effectively _their_-- children sat around and between them.

Terri sat closest to him; at seven she was a bright young child and his Lord's children were kept on their toes just to keep ahead of her in their schooling. It was strange how often his Lady smiled at Terri as her own children worked to show they were as smart as his daughter.

Of course his employer's children were already shorter than Terri even though, for non-engineered children, they were very tall.

His children finally started asking questions and so he told them stories of their mother. Stories he'd gotten from his Lord, in fact. It wasn't long before Kelli was nodding with the stories... and her eyes snapped open:

"I remember that! She left us wearing something pink, it was awful but none of us had the nerve to tell her, then she came back from the wedding... and she was *gorgeous*! And she was glowing, as if she'd found something she'd wanted for a long time!"

Kelli's eyes tracked to man who'd sired a son in her body.

"You! She found you! And we were surprised that she'd settled for someone other than the little Admiral!"

He nodded, his eyes turning sad, knowing that his hopes of her being happy living with him were shrinking as she was re-gaining her memories.

Now as a former street-guard and now an armsman he could have been far more upset with what happened next. Given the fact that Kelli had been a trained soldier and well versed in unarmed combat it wasn't as surprising that he found himself on his back with Kelli lying on top of him.

So his inventory, looking for parts of him that might hurt, came up short of aches and pains, before it was interrupted.

By a kiss.

He'd plenty of experience with kisses before, of course. His dead lover's were amongst the most devouring of his time and attention, but, then, she'd been an engineered being. Kelli was merely human and, in such a competition, would have come in second best. She wasn't giving him much choice but to enjoy the kiss she'd started and deepened.

When their lips managed to part again he looked up at her eyes which seemed to be burning... for him?

"*Now* I know where we are! Now I know who I am! Now I know... what I *want*!"

All of a sudden he had a problem breathing again as this pregnant woman kissed him again.

This time when she released her lips she curled up to his side, wrapping an arm and a leg over him, completing what he'd come to recognize as a symbolic ritual of capture.

"So... I can stay here, with you?" came Kelli's worried voice.

He nodded, adding "Yes. And I'd like you to, Kelli."

The woman's head on his shoulder made sure her sigh of happiness was clearly heard by him. "She spoke well of you, you know, even if she couldn't be specific. And she had a lot of us volunteer our names so that, should we be critically injured, we'd be sent to you for recuperation, should we need it."

He heard another happy sigh.

"I think I lucked out. You love me. I've loved what you did for her, too, and I've loved the pictures of her children she showed us. And the picture of you, too. She didn't tell any of us how good you were in bed, but I *did* find out that you were willing to learn. Now that I can remember... I've got some more things to teach you."

Her passenger kicked, allowing both of them to feel it as they smiled at each other before merging their lips again.

Things got more comfortable as his... well, "their"... children cuddled up to the couple, laying on the grass in the warm sunlight. It was strange that they weren't outraged by seeing their da kiss a woman like this.

It almost seemed like they were cheering.

He sighed, quietly, and closed his eyes, and thought about the problems these kids were making. He knew it was awful that his genes hadn't watered down the intelligence his previous lover had been engineered with, but at least their strength and appetite were less than their biological mother's.

But then, there were other signs that his lover's problem with longevity had been corrected.

He was pleased, there was no doubt of it, and, of the armsmen, he was envied by some for his children.

Well... and his guest. And now his wife-to-be. Even _with_ the scars from the revival-related surgeries he found Kelli to be beautiful.

As dusk encroached by darkening the sky, he disengaged from his family and gathered up the ceremonial burning dish and tripod and finally led his renewed family to the house.

He knew he had duty this night but he'd gained a new spring in his step.

For now, life could go on.

And so could he.