Naked In School: Kelly - Week 2 - Wednesday (part 10/14)

Wednesday...

I woke up with Sam and Juenko yet I still felt alone. It was like I felt like an empty shell-- no strength, so life.

Sam climbed out first and tried to get me moving and, really, I was in no mood to move. Heck, I wasn't even really able to think much at that point. Juenko had to climb over me as I did my best to curl up with a pillow and hide.

When you're doing your best to hide in sleep you can't pay much attention to time... or anything else. All I could think about was Blackie and could feel the tears pouring from my eyes.

"Princess, what's wrong?" came my mom's voice, just as the bed shifted. Twice.

When I looked around, squeezing tears from my eyes so I could see clearly, were my mom and Blackie's dad. I looked at them questioningly, not sure I could want anything.

In a way it was Blackie's dad that brought me to some kind of waking state: I wanted Blackie where I could hold him, where I could love him ... and could feel him purr in my arms.

So little to ask, so much to hope for.

My mom started talking to me; "Kelly, just relax. I think everything is going to be OK, you just need to listen to me as you think about what I'm saying ..."

When I snapped awake I was sitting up on the bed, almost angry.

Almost? No, I was angry. I balled my hands into fists, realized I felt tension all up and down my back. I relaxed my hands again but they kept going back and forth between open and making fists.

I don't think I've ever been this angry before, especially not at my mom!

"Mom, why the fuck are you doing this to me? I'm getting tired of you frying my brain like this!"

My mom smiled at me. I looked at Blackie's dad and he was smiling, seemingly pleased, but why?

Oh.

I was angry at them, not feeling sad, but it didn't make sense that they'd not mind my anger, much less approve of it! Or my language, for that matter. What the fuck?

Recognizing more of why I felt profound irritation I could calm my anger but I was still quite annoyed.

"Mom, what's going on? I figured you'd want me all happy happy-like and mellow, not pissed off!"

My mom smiled at me again and nodded. "Actually, you have good reasons to be pissed off at all four of us; we made a bunch of mistakes. We saw you and Blackie getting so close to each other and you both looked so perfect together to us ... so we decided to help you both get closer and closer. Now you're both too dependant upon each other. Blackie, when he's awake long enough, is going to feel like dying, just like you did this morning."

Yeah, I knew what she spoke of, but I was still unhappy with the situation I faced today. A little extra thought came to me out of the blue: I still wanted Blackie, desperately, in my arms... but I could handle that he wasn't able to be with me right away.

The pull was still there. I knew it. "So did you really do this to push us together? Was this all arranged?"

My mom frowned. "I'm telling you the truth. All right, so we each took turns interviewing each other's kids while in a trance but we knew, long before you both caught on, that you were bonded to each other before you ever got near The Program. The degree of sheer adulation you had for each other was almost nauseating; while we didn't ask directly because we didn't want to push it you, for instance, described Blackie as your dream lover. He described you as his, as well. We knew."

"When did you know?"

This time it was Blackie's dad that answered "A little over a year ago. A bit before you two decided to play idiot and date others." He shook his head. "I was worried for a time that we'd done something to damage you both by talking about sex and love like that but, I hope, the most we did was make you both aware of your sexuality more." He shrugged.

"So, mom, dad, what's next?"

Blackie's dad smiled like a thief and gave me a hug... which felt enough like Blackie that I felt a wave of both despair and exultation. He answered me "Well, we all liked all of the peace and quiet we've had for the first week of the program; we did our best to reinforce your comfort with each other ... and over-did it. We've got to work with both you and Blackie to undo some of the conditioning but we already know your bond to my son is, well, sunk deep. In some ways, though, my son is more bound to you than you are to him. A lot of the pressures we've put him under have not helped him with his own comfort but... the two of you are wonderful together."

All right, I could accept the idea that Blackie and I had been falling for each other, but it seemed to be more the lack of quality in other... Oh.

I remembered then that I had tended to judge boys against Blackie and they'd all seemed to fall short. It had always seemed that Blackie would listen to me and explain things to me. And he'd done that from the beginning, starting the day we'd both met.

All right, so it looked like we hadn't been completely railroaded into becoming a couple, maybe our parents had been telling us the truth.

Perhaps it had to do with getting comfort from each other instead of whining at our folks.

I looked around again. While I was still feeling irritable some calm had returned. "Mom, what did you do to us?"

My mom's face seemed to get sad. "We overdid things; we pushed you both to fuse emotionally too quickly, so, you and Blackie are co-dependant just now. You felt the lack of his support after two full nights without him and, when he has been awake long enough, he'll go through a lot of what you just went through. We'll need to deal with his stresses as well, so we'll spend time with him tonight and you have to be there to hold him. We have to work with both of you so that you're not so dependant on each other just to breathe."

I nodded, understanding. There was still a feeling of being a little bit lost, but I was coming to better grips with it.

At least I understood things better and could consider what was going on.

"Now, sweetheart, Sam and Juenko are downstairs waiting for you. Go have breakfast, OK?"

I nodded and stood with them, crossing my arms. I was still unhappy with how Blackie and I had been manipulated, so I turned my back on them, went to pee and do a quick wash, then went downstairs.

My mom and Blackie's dad didn't follow too quickly. I knew my sister Marcie was over at Blackie's house with his mom and my dad and I wondered for a moment if our folks were going to screw both of them up too. I was hoping that our folks were learning to not fuck with our heads like this.

I gave both Sam and Juenko hugs; they'd come downstairs before dressing as well, so we ate a cold breakfast in the buff.

We finally started talking and quieted down when my folks-- well, my mom and Blackie's dad, at least-- came downstairs and went into the master bedroom. We soon headed upstairs, dressed and got our school bags and were ready to leave when my mom put in her appearance, telling me she loved me. Even with the tear stains on her face, I was still upset, so I told her "I hope you've learned enough to not mess up Marcie and Marc..."

She backed off from me as if slapped, paused, and looked at me. It took a few moments and she nodded, adding "Yes, Kel, yes, we know."

Even with the house well behind me as we walked to school, the subject of Blackie's absence from my hand haunted me. Sure, I had both of my hands filled by Sam and Juenko, but Blackie's absence was still felt.

I woke up feeling strange.

Something was wrong. Something just didn't feel right.

Normally, when things are "normal", I'm slow to wake up.

Today, as soon as the first hint of "oddness" struck me, I snapped awake suddenly.

Who? What? When? Why? How?

First off, I was on my back. I usually sleep on my side and curled up so finding myself on my back was my first surprise this morning.

A second difference was that I was quite naked under the covers.

My third surprise was the biggest: I wasn't alone in my bed, a head lay on my left shoulder, her hair fanning across me and the bed, a soft arm lay almost bonelessly across my chest and her left leg was wrapped around my left leg. I could feel her heel against my calf as she slept, her comfort in this situation obvious. Seeing Hannah as my bed partner ran a warm flush through me as she slept, showed a mix of both possessiveness and vulnerability, as if in fear of me evaporating.

Admittedly, her nudity did add something to the problem all men are cursed by as my morning woodie hardened.

Adding to this mix was my fifth real surprise of the morning: I felt content. I'd even describe this as a sense of happiness but I'd not had much practice with such a feeling. Hannah was here and comfortable with me.

It is very seldom that I feel this lovable and loved; this feeling was not something I could ever want to give up.

Memories of the night before where we talked, cuddled and made love came to my mind, bringing a smile to my face. I then realized that waking up with someone you love -- and who loves you -- is a powerful feeling.

The final sixth piece of this puzzle was what woke me.

My mom was at the door, watching us, smiling. Our eyes met and my smile seemed to broaden hers. I hadn't seen her with such a happy looking smile in years, which seemed odd seeing that I was laying naked on my bed with a beautiful girl wrapped around me.

I turned back to my bedmate and gently kissed her forehead, taking care to not wake her up. I watched as a smile formed on her face as she slept and felt her shift a little to get closer to me, her arm and leg pulling on me for a moment before her muscles relaxed back into sleep.

Even in sleep she was happy to be with me.

My mom nodded to me, smiling. I smiled back but did my best to not disturb my lover.

In a flash I realized that it seemed unlikely I'd ever feel whole again without the weight of Hannah's head on my shoulder and her body cradled at my side by my arm. Another gentle kiss to her forehead and I looked back to my mom who was pointing to my alarm clock.

Oh, shit!

I managed not to jerk around with the surprise of having less than 40 minutes before I needed to be at school; the chance to just laze here like this...

I gently nodded to my mom who nodded back so I started to kiss Hannah's forehead which got me some sleepy sighs and another pull together and I worked down to her nose and soon reached her mouth.

By the time my lips touched hers she was just awake enough to dreamily kiss me back. It didn't take long for us to get into the kiss, rubbing against each other until we were interrupted by my mom clearing her throat.

Hannah pulled back from the kiss, startled, her eyes looking into mine like a deer caught in the headlights; this same motion popped the head of my dick into the entrance of her vagina, which caused her to forget the interruption for the moment as we slid together and she moaned.

My mother's hand on Hannah's shoulder stopped her in mid stroke and her head swiveled fast, suddenly looking scared.

I'd been surprised myself seeing my mother's approval of Hannah now-- so different from last week's attitude-- so it must have been more of a shock to Hannah, coming more out of the blue for her than for me. Hannah almost jumped off of me having been startled.

I could feel Hannah relax as she read the look of approval on my mother's face but still paused at full penetration as my mother said "I know you guys want to take your time but you've got to get to school today. You've got just over half an hour before you've got to be there-- and I've got to get off... uh, get to work."

Hannah, I could see, was reassured and thanked my mother for her understanding.

My mom blew my mind by bending down and kissing Hannah on the cheek then kissed my forehead. "You guys have fun, all right? I love you both, so enjoy the day. Just remember that you really don't want to miss school."

Hannah took my mom's approval as encouragement so she was bouncing on me and moaning before my mother even got out of the room, so I saw her shoot me another smile and held out a hand with a "thumbs' up" gesture. I think.

After all, given the attention Hannah and I turned to each other made it hard to think of anything else.

Hannah had always been able to get pleasure from sex but now she was far more responsive and she came more quickly than ever before.

She was going off nice and loud when I filled her up for the first time this morning.

We hugged and kissed a bit coming down when she finally turned to my clock.

"Ohmigosh! We've got to run! I'll never get all washed and dressed in time! Make that WE don't have time!"

I smiled. " I don't have to dress, sweetie. Let's get a quick shower and get our butts out of here, all right?"

This morning seemed to get better as we scrambled out of the house, both of us bare-ass naked, carrying our book bags.

It was strange how happy I felt that she was willing to be naked at my side even though she wasn't in The Program.

Later in the day I got teased about how happy I looked that morning. Looking at Hannah I didn't think I could look even half as happy as she did.

I wasn't happy getting up but I scrambled out of bed, did my morning rituals, ate breakfast with the family and got out as soon as possible.

There was one real change to this whole regular grind: I took the time to give Tom a hug, with an apology for hurting him in the past and telling him we had to talk soon.

Walking to school was different given that I was wearing a cut-off t-shirt which barely covered my breasts and a thong. I'd wanted to leave the house in the altogether but my mom had given me the evil eye.

All right, so she didn't see what I was really wearing; I'd shed a larger shirt and my gym shorts as soon as I'd gotten away from the house. Despite the fact that I was flaunting my body it was reassuring to know I'd not abandoned the lesson of the night before: my flaws were NOT hidden, even now.

That's when it hit me.

Damn. I had to change direction and head for Ellie Kirkland's home office. I wasn't going to be too unpleasant a walk given the nice weather.

I stopped again, surprised: I spied Joe and Hannah crossing the street in front of me.

Naked. Both of them.

Holding hands.

Swinging their held hands.

Looking happy . Both of them.

In hindsight I could kick myself even though they didn't seem to mind when I called out to them and waved. They both stopped for a moment, looked at me, smiled at me and waved back. I told them where I was going and Joe nodded and gave me a thumbs-up.

We soon parted ways and that's when I started thinking about how I'd interrupted them.

Given my history I worried about what Mrs. Kirkland would think of me. When I got to her office I found out that my worries were about the wrong things.

I saw my partner Joe show up with his girlfriend Hannah and watched them in a state of shock: they were arriving in the nude.

Hannah wasn't even in The Program and she'd chosen to be nude again. I'd heard some rumors that the "Princess clique" was reorganizing itself by ejecting her... along with Tamara.

Of course, given what I was now seeing and hearing, this was probably not a bad thing for one-- if not both-- of them. I gave Joe a hug then had Colin undress me for the day. Hannah made sure to give me a hug, too, and thanked me for my help the day before.

When the first bell rang I was walking into the school hand-in-hand with Colin as Joe walked in with Hannah. Hannah mentioned that Tamara had an appointment with Ellie Kirkland this morning which explained why she was missing.

I saw Red and her entourage in the halls and made sure to give them hugs... and Colin wasn't neglected either.

Colin was called out of homeroom which seemed odd to me.

I wandered down to the office before first period and found my boyfriend was selected to be Tamara's partner for the remainder of the week.

Yes, I was surprised. And delighted.

Our first "real" surprise meeting later in the day wasn't a simple situation, of course. No, I wasn't surprised but his look of despair as Hannah played with his erection was something for me to see. The look on his face told me a lot of how he saw me... and erased the last bastions of doubt.

So I discovered Colin lost his erection as I walked up to them both. "Hannah, what's wrong with him?"

She looked startled on seeing me and answered "Oh, so that's why. I'll bet that he's afraid he may lose you. He's been running pretty hard and I wanted to give him some relief."

Running pretty hard, huh? A week ago that double entendre would have gone over my head with not so much as a whoosh; this week, though... I knew immediately what she was saying. I couldn't resist a smile.

I chuckled. "In the hallways? Colin, you shouldn't play so hard-to-get with Hannah, she was being very nice to you and you just wasted her work. Hannah, I'll have to talk him into making it up to you."

Colin's face was like a deer in the headlights, both of his eyes wide yet blank. This amused me. Turning to Hannah I heard her say "Thank you, I'll hold you to that promise. I hope Joe won't be too upset."

There are surprises and there are surprises. Getting a warm hug from Hannah was a surprise but all of my nipples got good and hard. If anything draws a boy's eyes to a girl it must be stiff nipples... and I had Hannah out-gunned. She looked at them and looked at our audience in the hallway and smiled at me. She needed to head off to her next class and smirked, saying "Show-off!" as she zoomed away.

I shook my head. A week ago I would have felt like she'd be trying to humiliate me, now she seemed content.

So, as a consequence of my display of hard nipples, I found plenty of hands touching and tweaking them... especially the lower pair. Before the week-end with Colin I'd had no idea they could turn me on so fast. This whole exercise watching me get touched and turned on had my boyfriend's erection show his head. Some of the girls would touch me and then him. Some of the boys touched me between the legs and got my nipples wet. The chill just made me produce more liquid.

So we were both pretty fucking hot when we got to class and requested relief.

I don't understand why the teacher got so bent out of shape when we volunteered to take care of each other... simultaneously.

All right, so people didn't have a good view of Colin's dick spurting semen but at least they got to see it dripping from my pussy.

The rest of the week was starting to look pretty good to me.

Being called to the Principals office on a Wednesday had to have been for horrible news about my academic performance but I couldn't think of anything I'd done wrong enough to justify this.

So being presented with the box and brochure was actually a relief from what I was expecting. I was told they'd allow me to pull a short week and that it'd be my duty to support Tamara for the rest of the week.

OK, I could do that. I'd get pissed if Tammy tried to hit on me enough to hurt my relationship with Pam.

Walking out on a Wednesday didn't get a big audience but my grand unveiling did have Pam, Joe and Hannah in it. Pam smiled to me, we high-fived and then high-tailed our butts to our classes.

Before third period I'd run across Hannah in the halls between classes when she explaining to one guy that "Just because I'm naked today does not mean I'm fully 'in The Program'; Nudity is permitted but the reasonable request thing doesn't apply to me. I can say no to any request without penalty. The bad news is that I can't request relief, either. You did make a key mistake, though: You didn't ask me politely. I think I've heard that reasonable implies polite."

Boy, was she lambasting the guy. And he was one of the BMOC types, too, in the football team with her boyfriend Joe. I waved to her and saw Hannah's face light up on seeing me.

Before I knew it I was in a hug with her well-formed breasts (with hard nipples) rubbing my chest. I hugged her back and ran my finger nails up and down her back, scratching her the way I'd discovered Pam likes.

Perhaps scratching her back was a mistake; she purred. Her purr awakened my dick (which had been pretty cooperative in flaccidity up to this point): it promptly stood up and slapped her right on her pussy.

I know I backed off and apologized... but not far enough. She'd grabbed my member and started to play with it. This was the moment I realized that she'd had a very wet pussy because my member was dripping with it.

It was my turn to moan.

There is a time in all our lives when we feel like we want to die. This time it was seeing Pamela come around a corner to spot us, her eyes tracing downward to see my erection in Hannah's hands.

Pamela later told me I'm and idiot and that, with me being in The Program, she couldn't object to anyone playing with me. At the time I went limp realizing that Pam could easily think I was fooling around on her.

She set me straight after we worked off our excitement in class by fucking in front of the whole class. Miss Williams got a bit bent out of shape but we'd given each other relief after all. With both of us in The Program we had enough leeway that we didn't hear any complaints.

What we did hear was applause.

We smiled at each other, turned to face our fellow students and bowed before getting to our seats.

What was weird about this was that I was very able to pay better attention to our class-work.

Perhaps relief needs to be dealt with more often.

I'd been relating Monday mornings events as I saw them when Ellie Kirkland snapped me back to earth quite suddenly: She asked me how I felt about myself.

I'd been thinking about events around me, more as facts than feelings, so her question brought back some of my worries from the night before.

I revealed my nightmare: "I feel like I'm evil. I've hurt others who didn't deserve it, I've not considered anyone's feelings-- including my own-- as important. I've always thought of how I had to be in control. I was holding onto Blackie, hoping to get his attention sexually, and it feels like I'd held him down for my boyfriend to kill."

"Are you feeling responsible for what happened to Blackie?"

Yes, I felt responsible, but my throat closed up and my eyes filled with water before I could answer, so I nodded, trying to hold myself together, to look like I was in control.

Before I knew it Ellie's arms were around me.

By the end of the session I'd soaked her blouse through to the skin but I was feeling better.

It had taken a lot for me to relate Joe Morton's anger when I'd turned him down on Sunday night, feeling like I was just adding more nails to my own coffin.

Ellie told me in one sentence: "You didn't make him do anything; he chose to commit murder all on his own."

After another bout of crying and explaining how that didn't matter she told me again that I was not responsible for Joe's choices,

"Tamara, did you hand the knife to him? Help him sneak it into school?"

I backed off and shook my head, suddenly struck mute. The problem was that the aftermath had also shown me how incompetent I was in an emergency.

"So how could it be your fault? Yes, you were involved in his decisions, but they were his decisions, not yours. He decided to commit murder, not you. You are not to blame in this episode. You were just another bystander and another target. He wanted to hurt you, you know, so he was going to take out Blackie first and then kill you, too."

I pulled all the way back and stared at her, my eyes wide. What was this?

Ellie looked at me, seemingly upset with herself. "What I just told you I shouldn't have, but we shrinks talk to each other. There's some talk that he'll try to cop an insanity plea, but there's been some talk that putting Joe down would likely qualify as a sanitary measure, like disposing of a rabid dog. I don't like the idea of the death penalty, you should know; it's too final and there's no reprieve."

She sighed, I nodded, still feeling kind of vague. "Can he really claim insanity?"

Ellie smiled "Yes, he can. It won't get him off, though. The Prosecutor is claiming that any homicide is an insane choice and so doesn't invalidate the penalty. With all of the appeals built into the system, Joe can have up to, oh, about 21 or more years in prison if the death penalty is invoked. It'd be a lot longer if he doesn't."

I finally found my voice again. I was torn, inside. I'd fucked Joe (or, thinking about it, he'd been the one doing the fucking) but I'd always known his heart wasn't really in it, and, after seeing the video of Blackie and Red together I knew what I wanted for myself and Joe Morton wasn't it. We'd still been physically intimate, which still touched me. "I don't understand the death penalty stuff. It was only an attempted murder."

Ellie, her bra clearly showing through the wet shirt, leaned back and laughed. "You're in The Program and don't know how protected you are? There have been some adjustments made over the last couple of years, you know. As a Program Participant you have to deal with the 'Reasonable Request' stuff while other naked students don't, right?"

I nodded. This was known.

"So there are things you can't say 'No' to unless you don't mind taking a chance that it'll be considered reasonable. You're exposed, on duty, in the firing line, and, in fact, performing a public service, just like a cop in a shoot out. Just like any assault on a cop escalates the penalty for a crime, well, it was decided to crank up the penalties for any abuse of a Program Participant. Even just roughing you up is considered a felony... and it doesn't take much to really crank up penalties. Hell, girl, there's talk of making the impolite phrasing of requests automatically unreasonable!"

I sat and stared.

Ellie went on "Nothing is perfect, you know, and we learn something new with every Program participant. Laws evolve as new problems are discovered."

"But what about the 'attempted' part?"

Ellie looked at me like I'd lost my mind. "Murder, girl, is a crime of intent. His intent was to kill Blackie, then yourself. Just because he failed in actually carrying out his intended plan doesn't mean he deserves a lesser sentence. He chose the actions, he pays the consequences."

I was silent; I closed my eyes. I realized I was cried out yet felt calmer than expected.

Ellie spoke up again, adding "So he did it, not you. Sure, you held Blackie's arm but Ruth has already told me he'd never have figured out how to defend himself. Joe Robison told me that I can tell people he's seeing me; yes, I see you carrying un-earned guilt, too. He's hurting and can't deal with the adulation."

"I saw Hannah and Joe walking to the school this morning, together, holding hands. They both seemed to be in a pretty good mood." It felt so much easier not talking about myself again.

Ellie nodded. "And how did you feel, seeing them?"

Crap, right back in my lap. Shit. "Happy for them... and empty for me. I felt almost like a vampire, thinking of how much I wanted to look that happy... much less be that happy."

The only feedback I was getting was a nod and a hand motion to continue. Crap.

With a stray thought that she at least wasn't laughing at me or telling me I was stupid to feel this way, I continued. "It feels like other people find happiness and I can't. I feel like I've fucked up my chances for ever being happy."

I watched her lean back on the couch, her eyes on me. I saw no sign of damnation or laughter in her eyes. "I'm going to tell you a secret, Tamara. It's an important secret that you need to know."

That caught my attention like nothing else she could have said. I swear my ears stood up, the better to catch her words. That dog on the old RCA vinyl albums my grandparents still could not have looked more attentive.

"Happiness is a choice. Often all you are seeing is a facade. Hell, girl, you used to maintain one too. You must have looked happy to a lot of the others in the school around you. Many of the people who seem happy to you now aren't necessarily really happy, you just think they are. People often put on the face of happiness for others to see, like you used to do as one of the 'princesses' in school. Most people just lie to themselves, telling themselves they are fine, they're acceptable, they're happy. Right now, you seem to have lost hold of the simplest kind of lie, the one that helps you feel like you belong, almost like a herd. Many children learn how to tell themselves the simple lies. In some ways the whole Program is about tearing away these lies so that truth can be something to find happiness in.

"So, Tamara, Joe finally really discovered his true self with Hannah's help; when she looks at him she sees a hero in a believable way and he saw that reflected in her eyes. So he's happier with who he is. He sees her as a goddess and one of the people that helped him save lives... and so she sees that reflected in his eyes. They found themselves in the other's eyes and can accept who they are. You can live a lifetime with just that.

"I think the same story worked with Blackie and Red. All because of The Program. Nudity means these people can't hide from each other. You can't hide from yourself as easily, either, but a lot depends upon how you feel about yourself. It's not all about what you look like, you know.

"Tamara, you need to learn about contentment and happiness. It's a matter of valuing who you are or who you want to be. So, you, girl, need to figure out who you are. It helps to know what you are good at. It helps to know who you are good with... and to. You may not need to find a pair of eyes as a mirror, but those reflections in a lover's eyes can help. It doesn't take sex, you know, though that does tend to amplify the impact. Once you've seen yourself the way you'd dream to, hang on to it and make it real. You'd be surprised how those who've never found their core of happiness will make do."

I stared at her, trying to make full sense of this. Some of last night came to me... "I understand what you're saying. I got some of it last night, but... I'm still afraid that I'll just go back to using people."

Ellie nodded. "And?"

"Well... I thought I'd figured things out last night but then today I saw Joe and Hannah and realized that I haven't, not really. I'm still vain. I realize there's a part of me that likes clothing so I can flaunt the good parts of my body, not all of me."

"Well, it sounds like you're getting some of the grip. What is the problem with your body? How do you feel about how you look?"

Ouch. "I've got extra weight on my hips, a birthmark by my navel, an oversized clitoris and... uh... my feet are too wide."

"And these are awful... how?"

I had to think for a moment. How were these really bad things? "I'm not sure any more. I realized there was no reason to hide these things any more."

"No there isn't. In some ways... your imperfections may be attractive to someone."

The image of Pamela on Monday morning hit me and I'm sure my mouth hung open. For the first time Ellie looked at me with a puzzled expression.

"Pamela" I said, trying to explain my expression. It was obvious that this did not tell her anything in the least. "She has three sets of nipples. I talked to her about them just yesterday and she used to be so afraid to let anyone see them. She said she used to feel like a freak."

Ellie nodded. "And?"

"I got to wishing I was deformed that way. Nobody even looked at me once they saw her. Hmmmmmm..."

"So how do you feel about the shortage of attention?"

I stopped. How did I feel? Oh, yes. "I still feel pretty awful. I think I stepped on so many of the boys-- and a lot of the girls-- that no one is willing to give me another chance. So I feel more isolated now. In some ways it hurts to not have people eager to touch me."

"So don't you have someone you can ask?"

Hah! I shook my head. "Blackie was a good person to ask, he would have touched me in front of other people, just to care for a partner. It's like I have to break the ice, now. And I've never needed to do that."

Ellie smiled. "You can learn. You can find some boy-- or boys, or even girls-- willing to touch you when asked. You can ask for relief, you know, and for help."

Fear ran through me but my mouth moved before I could stop it: "What if no one is willing to help? What if someone I ask says no?" It struck me that this might be what having a partner in The Program was really for: to avoid the pain of rejection. If so I missed my partner more than I ever thought possible.

It really did not help to remember how many advances from various boys I'd rejected. I was learning that now the shoe was on the other foot... I had to face being rejected.

Ellie told me "You may have to say 'please' to someone."

Just three days ago I'd have laughed at that suggestion that I could be reduced to begging. Today, however...

I nodded. "Yes, I guess that's reasonable. I need to get off the pedestal I thought I should have been on."

Ellie's smile was warm.

The rest of the session got calmer and I was leaving just in time for lunch.

I faded in again to see my mom dozing on the chair by my bed in the hospital. The IV in my left arm was one of the dead giveaways of where I was, along with something going up my nose which put some pressure on my throat; somehow I managed to not try to puke it up.

I could recall short awakenings but this time I felt far more awake than before. I still had no real clue as to why I was in a hospital though some of the pain in my belly when I took a deep breath was something of a giveaway. Looking down I saw... staples? And even some tubes coming right through my skin, leading to little bottles which seemed to be half-full of fluid. Add to that the feeling of something in my penis was not a helpful sensation. Looking and seeing the tube running from me over the side of the bed didn't help matters.

There was a pang that Red wasn't here right now but a quick glance at the clock told me why. Fortunately I did have memories of seeing her face and hearing her voice from previous awakenings here.

I tried to speak... but my mouth was pretty dry; I think the most sound I could make was a croak. I looked around, knowing there was a call button somewhere. It didn't take me long to find it (the logo had the outline of an ancient nurse's hat) and press it.

It only took a couple of minutes of waiting before a nurse came in. She was, I guessed, about my mom's age, and she smiled at me. I pointed at my mouth and croaked again, unable to make much noise. With that pantomime she nodded back to me and stepped away.

So this girl comes in pulling a box on a stand with buttons and hoses on it up to the bed and wraps my right arm in a blood pressure cuff and turns the machine on. While the box did it's job to get my blood pressure and pulse I had to open my mouth to have a thermometer probe stuck under my tongue.

While this routine was going on the older nurse came back in with a plastic cup of... ice?

Something beeped and the thermometer was withdrawn and I was told by the older nurse "Take an ice chip and let it melt in your mouth. Don't swallow it."

I followed her direction as the younger person (her nametag read "Amy" and "PCT" whatever that stood for) finished with the BP machine and, after making some quick notes on a little pad, smiled at me, nodded and went around the curtain to the other bed.

With the third ice chip my mouth was almost wet enough to try talking. It wasn't easy with whatever it was going down my throat. I turned to my mom who hadn't woken in all of this and called to her. "Mom?"

She shook, her eyes opening... and I don't know how she moved so quickly but I found myself being hugged by my mom. I could feel her crying on me, but this time it seemed to be accompanied by happy sounds.

I hugged her back as best I could, the nurse watching us, a smile crossing her face.

When I finally asked her what happened to me...

The explanations didn't seem explanatory to me; it was like it had all happened to someone else.

When I finally asked "When can I see Red again?"

My mom said "After school. But..." a sad look crossed her face, "... we've hurt her. And you."

I made it to the school right in the middle of lunch. It was a good thing I didn't have much appetite as I spent the walk back in thought. I heard later that people saw me and honked and waved but I missed it.

When I got into the school I paid very close attention to the kids around me. I was still not being approached.

Mr Tilling met me in the hall after lunch and told me who my partner was.

Colin? Pamela's boyfriend? As my Program partner? Huh?

Tilling had an odd expression on his face so I guessed my own face looked strange to him. "Is something wrong?"

I shook my head. "That should be fine, then."

He nodded. "Good. I hope you had a good talk with Ms Kirkland?"

I nodded yes. "It helped but I still have a lot to think about."

He nodded in reply as I headed for my next class.

I ran across Colin later in the day and he smiled at me...

What the fuck? He almost looked happy to see me!

I ran across Tamara and, given that she was my partner I gave her a smile and a "thumbs up" signal, only to see her turn white.

What the fuck? She didn't look good so I walked up to her and gave her a hug. "You all right, Tam?"

Her arms tried to get around me but they were shaky, so I tried to give her what I'd learned that both Pam and Hannah liked: I rubbed and scratched her back. If anything...

Today wasn't my day. She collapsed in my arms and I was just barely able to cushion our fall; I wasn't ready for my partner to faint.

I turned the corner just in time to see Colin cushioning Tamara's collapse with himself, going down in a heap with her as most of the others in the hall just stood there, watching. This was bad. I hurried over.

"Colin, you all right?"

"Yeah, but I hope I didn't bruise her with my knees. I don't know what happened... I smiled and gave her an OK and she turned white, so I thought she needed a hug... then she just collapsed on me."

I nodded. Colin's a sweet boy who'd just come out of his shell for Pamela. I certainly hadn't noticed him before but I already knew his heart was in the right place. I'd almost bet that Tamara wasn't ready for someone to be kind to her.

He sat on the cold floor, his legs crossed, with Tamara on his lap, his arms holding her up to his warm chest. His butt must've been pretty cold as he worked to keep her from getting chilled and trying to revive her by gently stroking her face and hair. We were both intent on watching her face for signs of revival when a voice above us, Pamela, said "Colin, kiss her. Maybe she'll wake up."

Someday I hope I wake up with Joe like this.

I saw my boyfriend caring for his Program partner in the hall; the crowd around them made it obvious something odd was happening, so, when I got close and saw both Colin and Hannah there trying to help Tamara to wake up, I realized one trick Colin could try. They were very startled when I made my suggestion.

Colin's eyes searched mine, checking my face. I smiled and nodded, letting him know. "And do a good job" I added.

So he started kissing her, first on the forehead then some gentle touches to her lips.

By the time the school nurse arrived Tamara was awake and kissing Colin back.

I've been kissed like that by Colin... well, actually, I could tell he was holding something back... and knew she had to feel pretty good waking up like that.

I'd fainted-- it's been a long time since that's ever happened to me-- all because someone who was nice enough but I'd mistreated was willing to hug me and even touch me in a way I've never felt before but instantly loved. I couldn't get my arms to move properly but the thought that he liked me at all was startling enough that I must have passed out.

Waking up had to have been the best experience in my life.

I faded in being kissed gently, little kisses all over my lips, my cheeks, someone's arms around me, before I could get my eyes open I pulled whoever it was closer and kissed back, putting some effort into it.

I heard the titter of a crowd around me, some background voices and I popped off from the kiss and opened my eyes.

Oh, God! I'd been kissing Colin! But he was taken! I looked up at the crowd and saw Pamela and I was almost ready to faint again, just barely managing to say "I'm sorry, Pam! I'm sorry!" and curled up to hide my face in her boyfriend's shoulder.

Stupid move, right? I felt another hand on my shoulder and Pam's voice in my ear "I told him to kiss you, stupid. He's trying to be supportive of his partner, even if he gets put in detention for breaking the PDA rule."

I squeezed Colin harder, getting my breath back. "Thank you, Colin. Thank you, Pam. And it was a wonderful way to wake up, too."

The nurse arrived, Colin explaining that I apparently had fainted. Colin and the others helped me up and I then put my hand out to help him out. I was pleased when he accepted my help along with Pamela's and asked her "May I?"

Pam nodded and I pulled Colin into a hug as I thanked him again.

We were all trooped down to the nurse's office where I had to stay for a quick check while the rest got notes to let them go to their next classes.

It was nice to see Colin checking with me for permission so on leaving the nurse's office I told him "She's got to be pretty shaken up. I've also noticed that nobody's touched her at all so far so I want you-- you, Colin-- to correct that yourself. You will, as publicly as possible, touch her and turn her on. If possible you will give her relief. And if she shows even the slightest interest, I want to see you with a wet dick from fucking her. Right now nobody wants her... and now she's gotten a conscience after Blackie got hurt. That is one hurt girl."

My boyfriend got a hurt look on his face. "Don't you want me any more?"

I squeezed his limp dick, getting some life into it. "Of course I want you. But I also realized that you need more experience. I also want to try some things myself. Tamara is hurting right now... and I want you to be there to help her get over it. If she falls for you, though... I don't know. I know that Red was sharing Blackie with a couple of girls so I'm wondering if maybe I should try something like that myself." I smiled at him, giving him my sweetest smile.

When he smiled back I felt a sudden surge of wetness between my legs.

"Yes, I'm sure. And I won't mind tasting Tamara's juice from your dick, either."

What the fuck?

All right, granted that I didn't want to hurt Tamara but I had had damn near no interest in "just" having sex with her until the love of my life told me she wanted me to do so...

When I got to class I was still confused. I couldn't, for the life of me, figure out why Pamela wanted this.

I was glad I got to listen to Pamela explain to her boyfriend what Tamara obviously needed right now. Even with my history with Tamara and the rest I was thinking about how much she'd changed since Monday morning.

I was whistling when I got to the class I almost missed.

I had other friends that needed someone like Colin. I also knew I could talk to Josephine, too. I wondered...

Perhaps I could share Joe, but... with who?

I heard about Tamara's collapse and wondered whether she was pulling an act. Hannah set me straight when I asked her about it.

I share my last period English class with Colin and Pamela. Colin had pinched my butt affectionately and even rubbed my back before touching my nipples before the previous class. It was like the signal and I got more touches afterwards. Getting to English got me touched even more and I was not just wet but dripping, my lube running down my thighs. I was very turned on.

Pam whispered in my ear that I should request relief and to ask Colin to provide it. She then whispered something to him.

Trust is not something that ever came easily to me, but, after my faint, I felt that I could at least try it. So I requested relief, as did Colin. We accepted each other.

Pamela called out "Why don't you take care of each other the way Colin and I did this morning?"

I hadn't heard about it but shrugged. "OK." Colin nodded and the next thing I knew...

Wow.

If I hadn't been so ready I wouldn't have gotten off. All of the attention in the halls had worked well as foreplay so I damn near came as soon as he finished the first stroke.

Getting fucked in English class on the teacher's desk was a very new experience.

But I wasn't getting fucked: Colin was making love to me. I could see it in his eyes, as they locked on me. My eyes went to his and we watched the other's eyes as we made love in front of our classmates... and his girlfriend. It was almost like we were alone.

I'd found my mirrors.

Going to the hospital to see my boyfriend with him awake and oriented (despite the painkillers) was a hoot. We kissed despite the NG tube running up his nose and the IVs.

Happiness is feeling whole. All of the anger I'd felt in the morning drained away almost instantaneously when I saw his eyes on mine.

We talked, I talked about what was happening in school and watched his face as he heard about all of the changes in the people we knew. He also seemed a bit concerned for Colin when I told him about the substitution.

"Oh, Hon, Pam's thinking of pulling Tamara in with her and Colin. She talked them into fucking for relief in their English class... and then Pam tasted the leftovers. Pam's gone from afraid of life to... well, it's surprising."

I watched my love's face go from concerned to content, our hands together.

So he soon brought up another subject. "My mom talked to me earlier. About you and me."

Now I felt a shiver. Could he be...?

"I love you. I've loved you for a long time and never had the nerve to tell you. I realize that all they did was to help me get up the nerve to face up to my fears and to know there was nothing stopping me... same as they did to you. I was told we're still going to be a bit co-dependant upon each other, but, hey, I can handle anything with you near."

This occasioned a good night for me after we kissed. If it hadn't been for the catheter I would've had more fun with his erection but realized that the nursing staff might not appreciate the mess.

Sleep that night with Sam and Juenko came more easily.

I slept well that night, Joe finally in my bed. My mother made it clear that he was welcome.

She was scandalized at first when I mentioned that I was thinking of having extra girls in my life with Joe. When she asked "For him? Or for both of you?"

I got a funny look when I said "Both. I want to try it out, soon."

My mom nodded. "All right, but be careful. You want to make sure you can trust them."

It was my turn to nod.

The idea that I could mention a curiosity in lesbian contact to my mother was startling but far less startling that she could accept it at all.

Of course she was pretty comfortable with my heterosexual contacts in encouraging me to bring Joe home to stay over night.

After tasting my boyfriend mixed with Tamara I wanted more.

I gave my mom and dad a lot of pressure before they finally acknowledged that I had a real boyfriend. I had Colin over and we did the "outreach" part of The Program in front of my folks, sitting on the couch nude, cuddled up together as we watched TV and, while the commercials were muted, talking about The Program.

The comfort Colin had with me-- and me with him-- probably shook up my folks. My dad's efforts at the Third Degree didn't seem to faze my boyfriend, who remained unshaken and relaxed. He only tensed up when I told them that I requested relief that morning and told them he did too.

"And what did you do, dear?" my mother asked, stepping in it right away.

"We gave each other relief at the same time" I told her. I wanted her confused and asking the right question.

The right question came from my dad. "How'd you do that, punkin?"

A better straight line I could not have gotten. "Oh, it was easy. I asked Colin to make love to me."

My mother gasped, my father's mouth dropped open.

I turned to Colin "Thank you, dearest. I love you."

I heard an "I love you" from him before my lips were merging with his.

By the time we came up for air my parents were breathing hard themselves. Colin was hard and in the process of our kissing I'd climbed onto him.

I looked at them both and apologized "Sorry, Mom and Dad. I don't feel quite right when we're not fully together."

There was some concern after I turned back to Colin, ready to kiss him and heard a shuffling as my parents obviously got up, so I cowered in his arms.

Silence.

When I looked up we were alone in the living room. I turned back to Colin "What happened?"

"They both got up, loosened their clothes and went running out of the living room."

We cuddled. Sure, I was impaled on his erection but it was nice to take our time and take it slowly.

While we were still warming up further I heard a wail that sounded suspiciously like my mother. I've never heard her make that kind of noise before and my hair tried to stand up as I heard her yell "Fuck me! Fuck me hard! Give it to me! Hard! Yes! Yessssssss!"

My own pussy spasmed in sympathy and Colin shook a bit.

All right, so my mom's wailing was exciting as she went for seconds... and then we heard my father yell out that it was coming.

When I dragged a thoroughly drained boyfriend to my room we saw that my parents hadn't been able to close their door all the way because some their clothes were blocking it.

I figured they'd have no problem with seeing Colin in the morning.

I was very good to Tom, Kimmy, Jeff and Alan, allowing them to get a closer look at me. This time I had Tom look at me and touch me first. When he brought me off I pulled him to me and hugged him, thanking him for doing so well.

All four had their turn bringing me off.

Then Kimmy said "I wish I was as grown up as you. I'd like Tommy to touch me too."

I looked at the clock. "Let me get dressed. Kimmy, come with me while I dress and let's talk, OK?"

She looked at my brother who was confused but watching her like a hawk. She wasn't getting the answer to the right question from him so I said "Kimmy, he doesn't know what you want to ask him. Tommy, tell her you like her and want to touch her soon."

He looked at me, shocked, then back to Kimmy, saying "Yes, Kimmy, I'd like to touch you the way Marc touches Marcie."

I saw Kimmy shake a bit with a big smile at my brother, then she walked with me to my room. As I dressed I talked to her about my brother and whether she wanted Alan and Jeff to touch her too.

"Not yet. Like Marcie and Marc I only want Tommy to touch me at first. Is it all right for me to only want one boy?"

She looked uncertain. "It's a good thing. You like Tom?"

Her little girl face took on an expression that I've never really seen before. It took me a few seconds to recognize an edge of rapture.

My brother was in trouble. She loved him.

"He's my Miles. I feel like Ekaterin. I love him."

Miles? Ekaterin? "Who? Who?"

"Don't you read Lois Bujold books? Miles and Ekaterin Vorkosigan? Aral and Cordelia?"

I was completely out of my depth. She stood up and grabbed my hand, dragging me to my brother's room and pulled out a CD. "Here's a CD full of scifi books. Tommy made one for me to read. It's a bunch of old books. Look for Bujold."

First, I was surprised that she knew enough about his room to just walk in. I was flabbergasted that she went directly for a specific CD; she had to know where everything was already.

My brother walked in, a little shocked that he'd find us in his room. I turned to him "Tommy, is it all right if I borrow this?"

I've never seen my brother look so happy in his life. "Of course, sis. Oh, yeah, mom and dad are home, so it's a good thing you got dressed in time."

I nodded, "Thanks, bro. You know... it's going to take a little bit to get into this bro and sis kind of thing after all the mistakes I've made, but it feels good already."

My little brother smiled. I heard a sigh from Kimmy; she was almost swooning from seeing him smile. I suggested they hug before she had to go home for dinner.

Whoever these Miles and Ekaterin people are supposed to be I could see the effect on a little girl who'd found her prince. The effect on my brother as I watched them hold each other seemed just as profound.

Three hours of reading (and skimming ahead) later I realized that maybe Tommy wasn't so much a prince as a Count.

And I knew-- knew-- my brother was likely to be less fucked up than the rest of us. I've seen him with Kimmy enough before that now I could see he'd found a love that could last, for he showed a romantic streak that I'd never fully recognized before.

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Author: Jack C Lipton
Title: Naked In School: Kelly - Week 2 - Wednesday
Part: 10/14
Universe: Naked In School
Summary: 
Keywords: rom mf exh voy
Revision: $Revision: 1.6 $
Archive: http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/CupaSoup/www/
Mailing List: 
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RCS: $Id: NIS-kelly-10.x,v 1.6 2004/11/07 16:50:24 jcl Exp $