Crimson Review #035
This website contains mature and possibly sexual themes and links. If such writing is likely to offend you, or if it is illegal for you to read such writings, please find somewhere more appropriate to play
|
|
|
Crimson Review #035
This website contains mature and possibly sexual themes and links. If such writing is likely to offend you, or if it is illegal for you to read such writings, please find somewhere more appropriate to play
|
The question, this week, is one of fairness.
Hypothetically, should a reviewer drop a story from the roster
simply because she doesn't connect with the story? Should a story be
dropped when it becomes apparent that the story is going to garner a
poor review?
Does the answer change if the author of the story is known to be
more sensitive than average, or, perhaps, is new to to the group and
may not understand that reviews are only one person's opinion and
aren't intended to represent everyone, nor make anyone feel
unwelcome?
An interesting crop of stories this week. Virgins, Panties, Bowlers,
Caribbean swingers, Breakups, Jetts, Flowers, Crusades, Geese, and
Quantum Entanglement (of all things). With these, we glimpse the
world this week.
- Crimson
"So just how far down do you want to go,
Well we could talk it out over a cup of joe,
And you could look deep into my eyes,
Like I was a super-model."
-- The Refreshments
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------
The missives below are merely opinions, publicly stated, but only
opinions. Dragons may be immortal, but they are not infallible. Read the
stories for yourself, and form your own opinions. Then, let the author
know what you thought. Celeste's blowjob principle isn't smoke in the
wind.
- Crimson Dragon (dcrimson@yahoo.com)
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Crimson_Dragon/www
http://members.tripod.com/files/Authors/Dr/wwwagon_Of_Crimson
Review Archives:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Crimson_Reviews/www
Thanks to Denny for checking over the reviews for obvious
bungles, though ultimately any errors herein are mine and mine
alone.
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Story Summary:
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Avolk's Virgin -- t'Sade
(MF 1st magic)
[9, 9, 10, 9]
Plain Jane and the New Panties -- MontBlanc
(f mast)
[10, 9, 7, 7]
Most Valuable Player -- Ann Douglas
(MF)
[9, 9, 10, 10]
Travelling Road Show -- Eskimo1958
(M/F, M/FF, swing, anal, inter, group)
[3, 7, 3, 3]
Nothing -- f. aces (as Night's Passage?)
(MF, nosex)
[10, 10, 10, 10]
Jett -- Joe
(FF, ds overtones)
[10, 10, 10, 10]
Flowers -- Uther Pendragon
(MF wl)
[10, 10, 10, 8]
A Fall in Antioch -- Smilodon
(MF, historical)
[10, 10, 10, 10]
Gaggle -- Uther Pendragon
(nosex)
[10, 10, 10, 10]
Monogamy Of Quantum Entanglement -- Planet Dweller
(MF, cheat, rom)
[10, 10, 10, 10]
Reviews:
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Avolk's Virgin -- t'Sade
(MF 1st magic)
Avolk is shunned. Night and day, he wears a cloak to disguise his
pale white skin and the prominent blue veins that crisscross his
features. But every year, he makes his way to the temple of Vemi,
where a rite of passage of sorts is performed; a tradition where man
and woman are joined in the search for true love. Despite the tenets
of this ceremony, Avolk remains shunned and deprived of that which
he desperately wishes. It will take an encounter of a different sort
to complete his journey.
[ His skin was almost white, except for the fine tracery of
blue veins that crossed beneath it {his} . ]
[ Many jaws dropped as they {notice} her neatly trimmed curls and the
tight muscles of her buttocks as she swirled around in time with
the music. ]
T'Sade's prose is quite clean. The odd typo slips through, but for
the length of the story, it is certainly readable.
The only real complaint that I had about this story was that the sex
scene dragged for me. I found it a little over-described and I
wanted to skip over it. Keep in mind that this is typical for
Dragons but perhaps not so typical for the average reader. For most,
I suspect, the sex scene will be fine. For me, I find it hard to
read that much explicitness spanning many multiple paragraphs. I
want *something* left to my imagination.
However, I really, really liked t'Sade's story here. The characters
came alive, and the plot was wonderful and entertaining. Nicely
paced (except for the sex scene) and meaningful. And after all, this
is the part of the storytelling that is most important, right? Who
cares how well an author can describe inserting tab A into slot B,
if there isn't any story? T'Sade tells a wonderful story here. Don't
miss it.
Technical : 9
Eros : 9
Character/Plot : 10
Crimson : 9
Story:
http://www.tsade.com/creative/stories/avolk
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2004/47544
Author's site:
http://www.tsade.com/
Posted To ASSM: Mon, 19 Apr 2004
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Plain Jane and the New Panties -- MontBlanc
(f mast)
Jane has earned the nickname "Plain Jane". It isn't her fault,
entirely, you see. At the moment, being fifteen years old, she must
rely on her mother to buy her clothing, and her frugal mother tends
to buy sensible, inexpensive clothing. Particularly underwear. One
day, Jane finds herself alone in the mall, outside of her mother's
watchful eyes, and she slips into Victoria's Secret and buys herself
a treat. Lemonade Floral panties. And, oh, how they make her feel.
This story explores the feelings and emotions of an adolescent girl,
caught somewhere between girlhood and womanhood. I think MontBlanc
does an admirable job of presenting Jane's character.
If there is a downfall to this story, I would ask about the point of
it. For me, even while MontBlanc did a great job of presenting
Jane's character, and her feelings, and her emotions, I was left
with this uncomfortable sensation of still not understanding the
panty fetish that MontBlanc was trying to communicate. Why should I
care about Jane's new panties? I can't really see a point beyond
Jane discovering that she likes the feel of her new panties. I
didn't get a sense of her growing up in any meaningful way, or
learning anything significant. And given the depth and care in
crafting her character, that seems shallow.
Maybe I'm simply looking for depth where there really wasn't any
intended. Perhaps the disparity between Jane's depth of character
and the shallowness of the plot was intended, but I don't think it
was. Sometimes it is easy to get caught up with the sexual aspects
and ignore the story itself.
In summary, shallow plot, for me, but amazing character and
descriptive talent.
Technical : 10
Eros : 9
Character/Plot : 7
Crimson : 7
Story:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/~montblanc/PlainJane.htm
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2004/47545
Author's site:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/~montblanc
Posted To ASSM: Mon, 19 Apr 2004
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Most Valuable Player -- Ann Douglas
(MF)
The Most Valuable Player can be a relative thing. The Rockets and
the Bluejays are bowling for the League Championship, and the
Bluejays are up by 17 points. It looks like Clayville will take home
the trophy. Even Tim, the best bowler in the League, drops a gutter
ball when he is distracted by his ditzy girlfriend who is flirting
with the captain of the opposing team. It all comes down to Joe, a
quiet, mediocre bowler. And even while Joe should be the hero of the
night, Tim scores the MVP award yet again.
Joe doesn't mind at all -- he's that kind of guy -- but Moria, his
teammate, disagrees with the decision. After the celebration
drinking begins to wind down, Joe offers Moria a ride home, and we
find out really who should be the MVP.
A couple of technical issues fell into the text, but nothing overly
serious. Just typos:
[ Quiet returned as Tim Carpenter walked up to the foul {find}
and took aim. ]
Not sure, but I suspect Anne meant "line". However, I'm not really a
bowler either, so this might be jargon.
[ "Was," Joe corrected her. "I've been retired fifteen
months. They were just passing along a little professional
{curtsey}." ]
"Curtsey" isn't necessarily incorrect here. Depends on what Anne
wanted to portray, however, I'm guessing that she meant: "courtesy".
Sometimes those blasted spell checkers can't catch everything. Oh
well.
As I said, the story is well written, and the typos aren't all that
distracting. Only something to watch for.
I found the sexual description a little too detailed -- it didn't
quite mesh with the sedate pace of the rest of the story. However,
for most readers, the sex scene will be satisfying.
I really liked the characterisations and the plot here. The story
flowed along, and pulled me into Anne's world. I liked Moria, and
Joe; they seemed real. And the story had far more depth to it than a
simple sexual tryst.
Technical : 9
Eros : 9
Character/Plot : 10
Crimson : 10
Story:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Ann_Douglas/www/mvp.html
http://assm.asstr-mirror.org/Year2004/47541
Author's site:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/Ann_Douglas/www/
Posted To ASSM: Mon, 19 Apr 2004
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Travelling Road Show -- Eskimo1958
(M/F, M/FF, swing, anal, inter, group)
Sheila Carpenter is a swinger. She discovered this when she
convinced Herb, her hunky husband, to allow Jean, the local blonde,
oversexed goddess, to seduce him. Instead of a jealous rage, she
found herself turned on, and eventually joined the two. Ever since,
the couple has indulged in swinging with various friends. Each year,
the group vacations together, happily swapping partners until
everyone is exhausted. This year, they all decide to celebrate
Sheila's thirtieth anniversary in a Caribbean resort that caters to
their kind of fun. Enter the island natives that all want to help
Sheila and Herb celebrate.
I'll point out a couple of technical errors here:
[ My hair is brunette, and I normally wear it shoulder {lenght}. ]
[ She was a year older than I, and I already had {delt}
with women drooling over my Herb's good looks. ]
Overall, these kinds of careless errors occur throughout the text,
making the story nearly unreadable, certainly difficult to follow,
as I was continually jolted from the story by poor attention to
detail. I stopped keeping track of the errors when I hit fifty.
When an author is reduced to describing the character's physical
attributes in excruciating detail in the first couple of paragraphs,
that's usually a hint that we aren't looking at much depth. I very
nearly dropped the story from the review roster, and perhaps I
should have, but I persevered because I thought I saw a glimmer of
honesty and expression between the lines. I'm not sure that's the
case here. Eskimo, I think, was honestly trying to present a sexual
fantasy, and that's valid for some, but for me, a story is far more
than that.
Apart from the technical problems, the characters are shallow, and
the plot non-existent. The characters neither grow nor learn
anything significant, and none of the issues inherent in a swinging
lifestyle are explored.
So, the point of the story is sex. Unfortunately, it is dry, routine
sex without much in the way of innovation or flavour.
Overdescribed, as is typical in pure fantasy representations, but
again, that might be me. It might appeal to some that particularly
want to read only about the gory details of interracial, group or
anal play. This Dragon's seen all this before, in far better
presented prose. But having said that, it still might appeal to some
on the sexual merits.
Technical : 3
Eros : 7
Character/Plot : 3
Crimson : 3
Story:
http://www.asstr-mirror.org/files/Authors/eskimo1958/travelingroadshow.ht
|
© Copyright 2002-2008 - Crimson Dragon
All rights reserved
This site and its content are protected by copyright statutes. Please enjoy the reviews here freely, but permission in writing is required before redistributing any of the contents of this site or parts thereof. The author may be contacted via e-mail at dcrimson@yahoo.com with questions, requests or comments.
You are visitor #
since April 2003