The May 2002 Silver Clitorides Awards Presentation

It wasn't exactly a costume party, although many of the Authors and fans were in full regalia of some type. There was definitely a contingent wearing their favorite togs from the "Chicks In Chainmail" challenge, a bevy in blue, so to speak. A good many purple robes said that the Coven of Bliss was well represented as well. Leather was worn in abundance, too. There was even a tall Valkyrie at one table.

It wasn't exactly a casino night, although dice littered the tables like pebbles on a beach. Given the hobbies, professions, and proclivities of the attendees, maybe "bookies" would take on a new meaning as well. There was definitely some gamboling taking place, too.

It wasn't exactly a writing discussion, although there were character sheets in abundance, and a good deal of plotting and... fleshing out. Heck, at some tables there was more flesh out than in the entire "Naked in School" series.

So, what was it, exactly? It was another Silver Clitorides Awards presentation, of course! The one for May, 2002. But you knew that.

The background music was the theme from "Fellowship of the Ring", and some agreed that it was appropriate, while others argued that the score from "Shrek" would have been better. I just smiled - that would come in later on the CD.

Overhearing the conversation at one table, I had a sudden fear that the whole thing would come to a loud and violent end, until I realized that they were discussing something far different from what I thought I heard. Coping Rites are a far safer topic than what I had first assumed they'd been discussing.

I had my own role to play as Master of Ceremonies. I made my way to the head of the room to make my announcement, aware that the nature of the announcement was anticlimactic given the theme for the night. Still, if anyone was displeased, they hid it well. Perhaps my muse's threat to turn people into chocolate covered grasshoppers had something to do with it.

Facing the assembled authors and guests, I uttered a cantrip memorized from my Spell Book ("English for Dummies, or How to Spell Good"):

"Mares eat oats and does eat oats and little lambs eat ivy", I intoned, solemnly. "A kid'll eat ivy too; wouldn't you?"

For no discernable reason (given the nature of the spell), a small silver statuette appeared on one of the tables, and the authors there gasped. Beneath it was the usual framed certificate.

It gives me pleasure to announce that the winner of the Silver Clitorides Award for the best story of May, 2002, goes to Dragonseekers by Ice Phoenix.

Congratulations!