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Reader Feedback
A feedback form is provided at the bottom of each story page. General comments can be submitted here.
My thanks to everyone who takes the time to write; good, bad or indifferent, I appreciate it.
All comments will remain anonymous due to the controversial nature of some material contained in stories written by Admiral Cartwright. Comments may be edited for clarity.
“I enjoy reading your stories.”
Thank you. I enjoy reading your feedback.
“It is good to see new stories coming from you. You have been missed and I for one hope you continue to grace us with the fruits of your imagination, especially after your retirement led us to believe that there would be no more.”
You are very kind. Thank you.
“You have done excellent work. Readers wonder what happens when good storytellers/writers stop for protracted periods of time. Good to see you back.”
Thank you!
“I’ve been reading your stories for years, and I’m kinda fangirling here. So anyway, thank you for years and years of erotic fiction.” “I just saw that you returned. Did you just get out of jail?”
I must assume you’re being facetious. If not, no—I haven’t broken any laws. (Then again, with the ever-changing political climate, it may be more accurate to say I haven’t broken any laws yet.)
“You stole my idea!”
Wow—“stole”? That suggests intent, and that has never happened. Also, it’s hard to take an anonymous, generic accusation seriously; if you can be more specific, I’d appreciate it.
“Why do you repost your stories?”
It’s the way ASSTR is set up; uploads are listed on the main page to alert readers to authors’ additions or changes. A “repost” by any author may be for any of several reasons, including: to add material; to correct an error, or make other fixes; to add reader feedback; and/or to bring a work to a new audience.
“May I rewrite or repurpose (I love that term, taken from those home improvement shows!) one of your stories?”
Absolutely! I would ask only that your disclaimer include the source of your inspiration and/or a direct link to my original work.
“I just finished reading all of your fantastic fantasy tales and I hope there will be a place to keep reading them! I want to donate to ASSTR, but I don’t know if they are going to be there or if they are receiving them!”
They are—I’ve donated more than once. The donations page is here.
“You should really add to [And the Girl Shall Lead]. It just calls for more.”
Okay, you talked me into it. See
Fire and Snow
.
“Thank you for your stories. I like your writing style and the mechanics of your work.”
Very kind. I try to write with nuance and personality.
“Thank you for all the stories. You are the greatest writer of our tiny little planet.”
Hyperbole notwithstanding, I am honored.
“I have been reading your stories for a very long time and have enjoyed them immensely. I hope you have thought about doing some Asian girl stories. I love those.”
I have indeed. Check out
Missy
.
“I love your writing! It’s fun, incredibly erotic, and you write the girls perfectly. Thank you for doing what you do for guys like me!”
Thank you for keeping guys like me going.
“I’m impressed, and conflicted. I’ve seen semi-realistic 3D art, like those you just added to Mating Dance . Imagine if [a website] could create images that would fit our stories. What a ragestorm that would cause, even though it would be of someone who doesn’t even exist any more than the characters in a story exist.”
My concern would be the near-guaranteed overreaction by law enforcement. Studies have shown that art provides an outlet for those who might otherwise do harm; imagine removing that outlet. Ragestorm, indeed.
“Why the fuck do you write sex stories with children!!”
I dunno. Why the fuck do you read them?
Bill’s Not-So-Secret Urge (1999) “A lifestyle that did not appeal to me after trying it.”
There’s an old saying about trying anything once, and twice if you like it. I hope you enjoyed the story, anyway.
“It is a nice story. Keep up and continue to write wonderful stories, you got me cumming for more!” “Very inspiring and hot story. It shows the importance of not having casual sex, as we can call it. Well, great work, keep the good job up.” “I must confess that I was a bit reluctant to read this work of yours but, having enjoyed your previous works, I decided to give it a try. “I’m glad I did! I found your tale to be quite interesting, even fascinating. Strangely, I didn’t feel that ‘squicked’ by it. “It’s a fascinating tale. Thanks for writing it!” “I like this story because it isn’t a lolicon type (one of my favs). Branching out can be tough. Great work.” Double Take (2000) “This is absolutely the best treatment of the separated twins idea I have ever read. Thank you for writing this.”“Wickedly written—brilliant storyline—just loved the ‘and they all lived happily ever after’ ending.” “Double Take was excellent! All of your stories are, but for some reason I really enjoyed this one in particular. “However, there was one little line I take exception to: the individual in the airport who just couldn’t understand the strange looks because he had on a Spurs outfit.”
Funny, my research suggested Rockets’ and Spurs’ fans hate each other ...
“This is the first time I’ve ever given any feedback to any author; it always felt like a very risky thing to do. Anyhoo, I want to commend you on your writing. You are head and shoulders better than all but perhaps a few at ASSTR, and I want to thank you for your exceptional efforts. Very nicely done, good sir!” “Extremely well done. You really do write intelligent dialogue, and I loved the kids’ personalities.” “Very few authors can write intelligent erotica involving kids. You, sir, are one of them.” “A great combination of innocence and sexiness. You have outdone yourself.” “Sweet story, sexy & funny. Good work! Very well written, with very likeable characters. Thanks for writing it.” “Sweet—and you know I was seeing Hayley Mills’ face all the time I was reading this.”
Thank you, fellow old-timer. ๐
“Would make a great movie. I can imagine the young actress in the newer version being perfect for the young mother in your version.” “Loved the story and the story line. Awesomeness ... and I know where Cypress, TX, is. Great story! Please keep us cumming! ๐” “As an example of the writerly craft, it has a lot going for it, especially in terms of polished style and plot architecture. I would guess it did not go together in just one or a few drafts. Here and there I did have to backtrack a paragraph or two to be sure which character was speaking, but on the whole it was easy to read, which I always take as a good sign. I think you can be justifiably proud of this work.” “What a great story, awesome twist on the movie, keep up the good work.” “Rip off Disney much? Seriously, though, I like the way you twisted it, but the ending wrapped up too quickly.”
Yet, I’ve had readers suggest that it went on too long …
“This is the first time I’ve read any of your work. I got great pleasure reading it and found myself ‘stroking’ whilst I read it.” “Quite a story, and hot as Texas in August. Liked it a lot.” “Excellent, excellent, excellent. Thank you so much!” “Double Take is a masterpiece of erotic fiction.”
Whoa ... thank you!
“I’m rather disappointed with Disney for editing out all of the best parts of The Parent Trap. Thanks for filling us, or rather, filling Sarah and Sandi in.” “Run up the flag, Admiral. Another fine one to help me through a long, cold winter!!!” “I love family consensual love.” Elise (2000) “I just want to say that I love your story Elise, very horny.”“Well written and well thought out. A great read.” “Nice story!” “Excellent!! Please continue!” “Damn! Fine writing ... a triumph.” “This is the very first time that I have ever read a preteen-age story plot, and the turn on was as much of an adult ‘thing’. Quite satisfying.” “A lovely, sweet little read. I quite enjoyed it. Very realistic and well done.” “I like the fact that your encounters have a ‘real’ or actually possible feel to them. Thank you for a stimulating story.” “I certainly wish that would happen to me!” “Very good, very hot. My cock very hard. My 13-year-old neighbor girl due over to babysit.”
I do sincerely hope you’re kidding ...
“Very pleasant and arousing reading! Quite believable storyline, too.” “Fascinating little story. It’s a keeper. Thank you.” “Very nice, but a little too short.”
Well ... it is supposed to be a short story ...
“Very nice! Neither overblown, nor rambling. Could be the basis for a fine short story.”
Heh, heh ... never mind (grin).
“Really well written. Wish there was more.” ๐ “The suspense is killing me, don’t stop now.”
Sorry ... ๐
“Really fun. I love your gentle fantasies, especially how you give us the girl’s perspective.” “For a short tale this was highly erotic. You have a great feel for this kind of stuff, in fact erotic writing in general.” “I loved the story. You don’t need illustrations when you are able to write that well!” “Sincerely, what a mind-fuck.” Felicity (2018) “Masterful.”“Great fucking story.” “Another excellent story, Admiral.” “Deftly written, as we’ve come to expect.” “Fantastically written, deserving of a series of its own.” “I wish I had neighbours like them, and an understanding wife.” “Stupid!”
You can do better? Then do better.
“A wonderful story. I loved it. I am only sorry I don’t have Lissy living next door to me. If she did, I would have her suck me off, every day. Thank you very much for writing it.” “‘Wow’ is about all I can say. And thank you.” “An awesome ending to a story, hope we get to see more of Lissy.” “Needs a sequel—you can’t leave it hanging like that!”
Yeah? Watch me. ๐ (But, seriously, this one’s done.)
“Very, very well done! I’m surely coming back for more …”
Thank you. And don’t call yourself Shirley. ๐
“WOW!!! Please please please more!” “The best ending, love the story.” “Magical twist!! I take my hat off to you, Sir! Master of Letters!”
Most kind.
“The twist at the end got me. Should have been watching for a ‘gotcha’. Loved the story and many thanks for sharing it.” “Haaah! I love that twist. Got ’im!” “Beeautiful. Just beautiful!” “Wow! You have a deft touch, that’s for damn sure!! “I will proceed to read your older works as well, given the subtle ease of this one, presenting a ticklish erotic subject so adeptly while avoiding banal grossness and maximising its arousal potential!! “And the denouement?! Killer line. ๐”
Thank you!
“Thanks, Admiral, lovely story, and the twist in the tail was excellent. ๐” “I wish it had a part two, but nevertheless it was a very stimulating story from start to finish.” “Wonderful story, I enjoyed it so much. Thank you for sharing.” “Another delight! I am happy I have two hands! One to a scroll with and …” “I would have no objections to having a neighbour like that. The cops might, but I wouldn’t. Come to think of it, could sexual assault by an underaged person be considered a valid defence? It might be difficult to prove but it would make for an interesting case.”
If only. A prosecutor need only compel the truth under oath that Rob (and Tess, for that matter), was awake at any point and failed to stop Lissy. The end.
“I agree: if she wants it let her have it regardless of age, no force, no abuse but if they want it, enjoy.”
Another quick reminder: do not try this at home. Or someone else’s home. Or anywhere else. ๐
“Please tell us that there is a sequel. I’m thinking MFg threesome.” “I love the scenario you presented here. You have great fantasies! Thanks for the great story!” “Totally unexpected ending. Sign of a great story.” “I loved the surprise ending. What a pleasant fantasy. He should be thanking his lucky stars every day for the wonderful girlfriend he has. ๐” “Very good plot. Well told. Very erotic without being salacious. Was left wanting more—supposedly the best way to finish a good ‘meal’. Strangely satisfying and unsatisfying at the same time. Definitely in the ‘love it’ category though. Thank you.” “Soooooo glad you are back on and writing these hot and great stories.” “What an ending. It is so perfect. I’m speechless.” “Man, I didn’t expect that!!! Totally loved it! The only way it could be improved would be with a greatly expanded part two! We should all be so lucky to have a neighbor like that young’un. Many thanks for posting this.” “Isn’t Tess the most amazing girlfriend ever? Wow.” “Nice story, but I would’ve welcomed a threesome with Rob, Lissy and Tess.”
And leave out poor Landi? ๐ข๐
“I wish you would continue this fantastic story. So many ways it could go.”
You’re entitled to consider
Mating Dance
a continuation, if ya wanna. ๐
Fire and Snow (2017) I must admit I was surprised by the number of readers asking me to expand or continue the original treatment, And the Girl Shall Lead.
“Well written!!” “Now that’s a [series] movie I’d love to see. ๐ Nice addition to the story.” “As a literary exercise, I’m impressed with your deft handling of the prose artform. As human drama, easily on a par with what I remember from the days when I used to watch [the series] (of which I was never a great fan, but some episodes weren’t bad). As lolierotica, it didn’t do much to get my juices flowing. Not like Worst Nightmare.”
I can’t get everyone off, I suppose ... ๐
“It was an ok story but I kept seeing [the actor]’s face during some scenes. I was thinking, that pompous ass would never do this. Ha!”
Never mind all the prison sentences for the cast, the crew ... ๐
“Never saw that [in the episode]. But would have liked to. Might have watched more!” “Good imagination.” “Fun story, worthy of your best!” “Cute, and sexy. I’m not a [series] fan, but I would be if it was more like this. Likeable characters, and very well written. Thank you.” “Great, XXXXciting story, once again!” “I’m still amazed that you took on this subject. I’m a big fan [of the story].” “As a Trekkie, I love it. Janowski is going to be sorely disappointed to discover her new captain aboard the Saratoga is a woman—unless she swings both ways.”
You proceed from two assumptions: that Saratoga has the same captain, and that Janowski is a ‘captain’s woman’. The former is not necessarily true, and the latter is not in character.
“Jumping from Captain Kirk to Oliver Twist, ‘Please, Sir, we want some more.’” “I am an old geezer who watched the original series when it first came on. You have picked up the characters well, and it seems very authentic. This is the first thing of yours I have read; I am looking forward to checking out some of your other efforts.” Good Things Cum (2016) “Nice story thanks. Are you going to keep writing?”
As inspiration strikes.
“Very good, Admiral.” “I like. Puhleeze, don’t stop again!!!” “Fantastic story, love the idea she was the initiator, and the voyeur idea, as I also love to watch.” “Damn. That was sexy as hell, and damn good writing. Well done sir.” “Very good … loved the ‘honey pot’ reference.” “As ever, your work is in a completely different league. Thanks for that—more please!”
Too kind, thank you!
“Well written story. Too bad about the sad ending.”
Thank you—and a lot of readers took me to task for that ending, so I softened it up. Just a bit. ๐
“A great story with a truly good ending ... with the right amount of wonderment. [LOL] It would be great to see if she ever does respond.”
I guess the rewrite worked. ๐
“Damn fine writing. Way above the norm. Intelligent and written so one could identify with it if one had experienced the same. Great stuff.” “Great story, Admiral. Oh, how I wish to have a passionate little girl like that. Too bad they didn’t end up together, but such is life.” “A beautiful, amazing story with incredible details. It has a bittersweet ending, which is probably more realistic.” “The change in mood from beginning to end is unusual in going from a rather unbelievable and vicariously enjoyed fantasy to a rather melancholy dash of reality, which was interesting. I really didn’t like the ending because I like something more optimistic and satisfying, but I certainly liked the tale.” “Loved the story, the realistic portrayals of events, real considerations. Hope to see more.” “Nice little story. Good detail work.” “Strictly tangential: that you ‘bothered’ to employ ‘Independence Day’ to name the holiday speaks to your character. You see the storm, and know it is much closer than the horizon.”
This is an awesome compliment, and I thank you! I write for people with a similar ‘depth perception’, who see not only details but their purpose; to know when I’ve succeeded is immensely gratifying.
“Great story. Sad in some places, just like real life. I loved it, though.” “I enjoyed the story very much [but] I also like stories to end happily ever after. Will ‘Joanne’ be able to find someone more permanent in a future story?”
Sorry, no. I love ‘happily ever after’ tales, too, but this one played out as it should.
“Oh my, how beautiful to ‘watch’, I was there with you for a moment, hmmm, so wanted to taste her. Beautiful, thank you. “I loved reading this story. It was sexy, yes, but it was more than that. I wish I could write how I feel about so many things in life like this.” “Another good story. Really has the ‘ring of truth’ as Gandalf said to Bilbo.” “Wow, very hot story, love reading your stuff.” “This is a darn good story. The character development is excellent. The mix of lust and love and life is extremely well done. I’m going to miss Joanne. Thanks for this great experience.” “Great story and a fine read. I really loved it!” “Great story Admiral, I’m so glad you started writing again. A lot of good writers have dropped out of ASSTR; one of the better ones has come back … you! Thank you.”
Most kind.
“God, what a beautiful story. I just couldn’t stop reading it.” “Great story, it’s nice that you were finally able to make love with her. I had a relationship with a young girl when I was a teen. Her family moved also and I lost contact.” “Amazing. Reminds me of a girl I used to know who loved to watch.”
I’ve been lucky enough to know a few. A couple of them were left out of stories due to overkill, or for straining credibility.
“I have to admit I can relate to everything in the story. I realized late in my life how much I enjoy watching!” “One of the best I have read in a very long time.” “It takes a lot to get me up these days but your story did it. Thanks!” “Makes me want to get an ice cream truck.” “A very good story. Bittersweet ending, but many of the best stories have that. Thank you for your hard work as well as sharing it with all of us here. Your stories brighten the days I read them.” Granger Danger (2019) “And I damn knew it!”“Quick, get me the sorting hat!” “Fuck, that’s clever. I demand an official adaptation yesterday!” “And this is why you do not use spells during sex.” Hilo Blow (2018) “Loved the story. Thanks for sharing.”“This was not the type of story that I usually enjoy but I still appreciate your effort in writing it.” “Normally I am not into adult male–little boy stuff, so I was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed this story. Keep up the good work, I enjoy your other stories also.” “Nice story, thanks. Keep writing.” “Really, really hot.” “Excellent story; of course, all of your stories are great.”
Most kind.
“Nice. Close to what happened to me.” “I do remember the days of the old bowling alley and the men’s room being a place to get your dick sucked. Got mine sucked a few times, but I like young girls better.” “The thing that struck me funny is, there was a bowling alley in the town where I grew up that was owned by an older gay man. There was a lot of poking and grabbing by him of younger male bowlers as he walked around his establishment—actually, he would probably be in prison today. A humorous fact: the man’s name was … Randy.” “I’m a great fan of doggie-style and wished there was a scene with that, but a great story anyway.”
An excellent suggestion; I’ve managed to find a way to add it without feeling like I was piling on.
“Awesome story! I would love to see them run into each other while he is in Oregon for business or something.” “I loved this one. There’s nothing better than a little anonymous sibling sex with kids riding bikes. It takes me back to the 70s when I used to ride bikes with my friends just to meet up with them at their house, where they all had sisters. Mmmmm … tasty little sluts!” “Sweeeeeeeeeet, I am into both. My cock is hard thinking of the fun I could have.” “Oh, that was a goooood one.” “Nice story, and well written; good, smooth, natural flow to the sex. I needed a good cum, and this story was exactly what I needed to get there. Shot about four ropes of cum almost to my shoulder.”
I’m not coming over to help you clean up. Just so you know. ๐คช
“Damn. Carla is a predator. And that’s just the way I like ’em.” I’m Not a Little Girl Anymore! (1999) “I was just wondering: were you really 12 when you wrote this?”
No, but thanks for the compliment.
“A very good story. You succeeded in writing as a 12-year-old girl, but those Dad’s comments didn’t fit well, in my opinion.” “That was a rather fun, light-hearted story. I liked the Dad’s comments; an excellent touch, and one I hadn’t seen ’til your story. “Well done!” “That was a turn-on!” “Nice story, nice little girl. I’d like that!” “A cup of coffee and a story to start out my day is one of my most enjoyable experiences, and as I followed ‘Dena’ from the bathtub at two on up to ‘daddy’ at 12, it truly worked for me, and I thank you. “You keep writing, I’ll keep reading, and I hope with this combination I’ll have many more uplifting mornings such as this one, now with a smile of satisfaction on my face.” “Great story! Looking forward to reading more!” “A very erotic story, told in a very interesting way. Thank you for Dena. She’s darling.” “Nice, but it lacks pictures or illustrations to make it really hot!”
Whoa! Great idea! I’ll get right on that, officer. ๐
“Brilliant. Bravo.” “That’s fucked-up shit!”
Uh ... thanks. I think.
“One of the best I’ve ever read. The ‘telling’ from the child’s perspective was the key to the story’s success.” “Holy fuck! I have not jerked to a story for a while, and this did it! Never seen a story written from the kid’s-view narrative before, very hot!!” “Although I have written a few stories, none is as well crafted as yours and so fluent. You have a great talent for getting a feeling across and making sex in your stories exciting and making an old man hard. I look forward to reading more. Do you write about young boys as well?”
Every so often I do. Hilo Blow is one example.
“This is Detective [name withheld]. Whoever you are you both are really sick and I will find you and arrest your dad personally so be prepared.”
Ah, excellent deductive skills, my dear detective. You’ve skipped right by the fact that this is fiction, and the fact that it was written by an adult male. Arrest yourself for ineptitude when your other hand is finished!
Oh, wait: it’s humor! I get it ... ๐ “Great short story from her ‘innocent’ point of view. She’s surely not a little girl anymore, and Dad won’t ever be the same again either. Both are lucky!” “Still some of the best storytelling! You and Uncle Sky are my favorite authors. I have been reading your work for many years and reading them over again is as good as the first time.” Jo and Lexi (1999) “Like. Thanks!”“Very stimulating story. Please write more.” “The sex is extremely hot. There’s not much plot, but there’s not supposed to be much plot.” “Sexy, sensual, hot!” “Good story, but too short.”
What, they can’t all be novellas … ๐
“Ahhhh, that did it for me. Wish I had been born a lesbian.” “I would have loved to watch the two of them. It gave me a real hard-on just reading it.” “Fucking awesome! Please do a Part Two.” “You are a great writer.”
Most kind.
A Letter from Your Worst Nightmare (2001) Note: some of these comments were written after I had announced my retirement in 2001, and some after my return in 2016. “A very nice story—an interesting mix of luck, too. The sort of tale that makes you wonder.”“A wonderfully written story. Although I don’t entirely agree with everything, you make a very strong point.” “A great story—and cautionary tale.” “Isn’t it funny how the gods always abandon you?” “You’re retiring? But, you definitely had that ‘author’ thing down ... you know, getting it from your mind onto ‘paper’—being the actor, storywriter, director, producer, special effects, and editor, all rolled up into one. “A great job for your final blast-off.”
Thank you!
“Good plot, premise, and character development.” “Very erotic—not just the act, but the feel, taste, and texture. Real people with personalities, temperament, quirks. Rather inventive; I don’t think I’ve ever seen the issue of trust handled quite like that before.” “Truly another masterpiece. You will be missed.”
Thanks, I really appreciate that.
“Wow.” “Pretty much true. I don’t know what it will take to fix the laws, although there is a possibility of change—remember crack-v.-coke sentences?”
Doubtful—final frontier, and all that. But one can hope.
“If the damned real world would let me be the person I want to be, then I would be as good and as kind and as loving as the guy in your story, and I probably never would have written any stories.”
It’s for that reason that I consider myself fortunate to have a wide-ranging ‘age of attraction’.
“Excellent, and thought-provoking. Thank you for writing it. Beautifully done, if I can say that about a less-than-happy tale.” “This was wonderful.” “Very interesting way of telling a story, Admiral. I wouldn’t have thought of doing it in a narrative form. Enjoyed it a lot.” “There are (I’m not counting) about a dozen or so really good writers on this site. The Admiral is still the best.”
Wow. Praise can go no higher than that. Thank you!
“The stories of the different girls are fantastically hot, and just as varied as the girls themselves.” “The sociopolitical issues it raises should keep people thinking for years, if they were only able to admit things about themselves. The scenes with the various girls are incredibly hot and definitely push all my buttons, and you write in such a way to avoid the pitfalls of many other authors I have read. I just wish I could meet any of these girls but, for legal reasons, it is a good thing that I never have!” Mating Dance (2019) My first-ever collaboration is a visual novel of sorts with images by lcKilli. “Holy shit! Great beginning! So much more to go with this one. Please continue!!”“The illustrations made me do a double-take. Good thing you had that disclaimer.”
Indeed. There is a singular skill in making believable 3D erotica without falling into the ‘uncanny valley’.
“Oh my god! Admiral, I’m soooo jealous! This is nice work, for sure.” “That’s sooo freaking hot and kinda romantic, I love the characters you guys have created.” “Goddamn! The combination of writing and render is hot as hell! Really well done, you two!” “Much action there and much endurance. ๐” “A fine mesh of two talented artists.” “This is a great collaboration! Your talents are yielding a wonderful story with great visual art. Thank you both!” “Dat sneaky little snatch got the first ride. I hope Felicity is not getting jealous.” “Awesome pictures and words.” “Great art and a great story.” “I like the collaboration idea, it keeps the momentum going forward too. Great job to you both!” “Maybe we could switch places? Please?” “I have to say I mostly prefer pictures without a story … but I totally love this! Amazing artwork and well-written and descriptive story to go along with it.” “Just discovered this and I fucking love it! As it sometimes happens with craft beer, or experimental music, the collaboration between talents creating something of mutual interest tends to be quite awesome. Nice flow between the images and the text.” “WOW, you have completely outdone yourself. I have enjoyed all of your previous stories very much. This one, with the pictures added, just tops them all.” “Excellent story. It seems so real. I wish I were involved!” “Fantastic! Had me hard all the way through. I would love to read much more of this one. Love the illustrations, too.” “Well, kick me in the butt and call me Shorty! That is a smokin’ hot collaboration. Good story and the added visuals put it over the top. Thanks to you both.” “Truly erotic. When you are reading and looking with constant gasps of sexual excitement, you know it’s good.” “Really one of the best.” “I have never commented on a story before, but this truly blows my mind. INCREDIBLE!! The storyline is excellent, and the illustrations … well, I’ve just never had so much pleasure (on my own, that is!). Martina’s freckles … I’m in love!!!” “Man, how erotic. Is it wrong to wish you were the admiral?” “I like the story and I don’t normally make any comment, but I had to say the 3D artwork is spectacular. I have used Blender in the past for personal projects and I know how much time and effort goes into it. Kudos to you both.” “Love it! Pics are a very sweet addition, hope they continue. Bi action is great, too.” “This is brilliant. In fact, I’ve been thinking about trying to find an illustrator to make a kind of chapbook out of parts of one of my series. Is there any chance you could put me in touch to see if the artist is interested in a commission?”
Numerous artists will do commissions. You may want to take the time to join the Lolicit community (if you haven’t already) and make yourself known. ๐
“OMG … nice … would like to include a boy next time.” “Story was good, but the art was fantastic.” “What can I say? Excellent!” “That is an amazing story, awesome. The artwork is beautiful too.” “I hope he continues with both girls, and especially the daughter; he is already drawn in to her, I can tell. Great writing and illustrations got me so damn hard and I unloaded big time.” “Nice work. Really like the illustrations by lcKilli, what a great addition. Thanks for sharing.” “Over the top this time. Your writing as always is excellent.” “Hi, enjoyed the story. I am looking for someone that has the same interest in preteen girls and boys and I think you might be the one looking to exchange videos and photos and life experience with me. If interested please email me.”
There are no videos. There are no photos. There is no life experience other than that upon which I built fiction. But, hey, thanks for writing, officer. ๐
“Magnificent tale. Good writing is rare but available; however, your artistry and imagination are unique. I love the ‘scene’ format, a series of vignettes centered around torrid loli illustrations—so real, such a turn on. Thanks so much for the work.” “Combining text and image is enhancing both. More!” ๐ “I really enjoy the illustrated stories, but only a few authors have done that, so far as I know. Let me be quick to mention, though, that the Admiral’s writings are first class. I like them all.”
Thank you so much, but credit as due to lcKilli, too!
“So far, so great. Keep going, this is at least a fifteen on a scale of one to ten.” “Great story, Admiral. Had my pussy dripping wet all the way through my shorts and onto the chair.” ๐ “Great story! I have read many of your stories and you are very talented! Do you ever write non-consensual stories?”
My next story—if I ever get back to it—is quite dark and includes some non-con. As a genre, however, I am very much not a fan.
“Heya! Great fucking story you got here. You’ve got some talent! Keep up the good work!” “Fantastic and the girls are a perfect age to be fuck toys. More illustrated stories please.” “Wow … just … wow! Loved it and was hard as a stone over the pics.” Missy (2018) “So good, a real loli story that made me cum.”“One of the hottest stories I’ve read, by far.” “Loved the story. Realistic if nothing else.” “There’s something about this story that makes it stand out for me from other stories. I think it’s the fact that it reads like a very erotic romantic novel (and a quality one at that). “I like it.” “I enjoyed attaching pictures to the story and masturbating to it.”
If those pictures are not of adults age 18 or older, I don’t want to know. ๐
“Wonderful story. I love how Missy remains ‘innocent’ and playful. She sounds so sexy!” “Really well written story. Even though she is a prostitute I love the way Missy clearly enjoys her sex. She should be a film star!” “I’d like to hear more of the six-year-old.”
I’ll bet. ๐
“Insane is what I think. You care for these girls?”
Given that this is fiction, and the protagonist does care about the girls, and you saw the story codes and chose to read it anyway, it seems you and I have differing opinions of what constitutes insanity. ๐
“I read it and loved it. Please continue to write. I love all your stories.” “Nice conclusion, great story.” “This is a well-written story. The sort that I, for one, love. Maybe something to link to via LSR at some point.”
Yeah, I’m looking into that, thanks.
“The truth behind [the brothels] is unbelievably sad and awful, I’m sure. So I feel even worse about the fact that I sometimes fantasize about being a street whore in some country like that, with that same ‘I’m great and I know it’ attitude. “So, uh. Hey. Nice story.”
So, uh. Hey. Nice fantasy.
“Just loved it.” “Loved the story and I’d love to see some of those videos too! [LOL] It was well told and written. Thank you!” “A wonderfuly romantic/hot story. Well done.” “Excellent job with foreign relations.” “Really enjoyed that; Missy is an excellent and most stimulating character. ๐ Some of the little details (like the stubbed toe) really added to it, and the descriptions were great. I’m not sure I was convinced by Eric, but I’m glad he was around for the happy ending. ๐” “Absolutely loved it and, man oh man, who couldn’t just pick Missy up and abscond with her?” “OMG, I think I’m in love with Missy too. The story and the character.” “Maybe a new series with Missy’s kids?”
He’s ‘fixed’. Of course, that can be fixed …
“I loved the story, but the ending seemed abrupt. 9 of 10.” “Beautiful story. I loved every part of it and would like to read all about Missy and her lover moving on to their new life together. Please keep up the great work.” “You have done it again. A different scenario with an insight into what life may be for young girls. The gentle pace at which the story gradually expanded led this reader down some exotic paths, with the final climax of events leaving a sated experience.” “One of the best stories I have ever read! Erotic, sensual, but incredibly sweet, it’s among the gold standard stories of young erotica! Well done!” “Good story. You would be surprised how few stories are set in Asia.”
Given my experience as a reader and the number of requests I had received for an Asian girl story, it was no surprise at all.
My Neighbor (1999) “Great story, loved it. Now I need to read some more of your stories.”“Loved loved loved the story. Just enough risk and no one was hurt. I would love to taste pussy like that.” “Your heroine, Jen, is mature, whatever her age. You’ve related ‘your adventure’ with her sensitively and well, however much apocryphally. “Thanks for sharing!” “This story kept me hard the whole way through [LOL] I felt like your main character at the finish. “Damn ... been a while ...” “Well, I was getting attached to Jennifer, too. I wish I could know a girl or woman like Jennifer … of any age.” “That was a trip back in time. Good storytelling. Well done.” “Well written, clever, and absorbing. I would estimate that its quality would rank it easily in the top five percent of the posts in Alt.Sex.Stories.” “Narrative moves along as easily as water flowing downhill. Plus I like the usual Cartwright clean prose style, which seems harder to find nowadays. I would set this one up alongside Worst Nightmare as my co-favorite of your stories. Sweet story!” “Delightful story. Strong action. Great pacing. Well done indeed!!” “I really enjoyed this story. Thank you for sharing and for all of your hard work.” “What a wonderfully hot story! Thank you!” “A person can tell that you are a professional writer. Some stories are written so crudely—not that I mind crude stories. [LOL]”
I write as part of my career but, technically, I’m not a professional writer. Still, thank you!
“Loved your story about Jennifer ... just loved it. She was quite a girl.” “Knowing the little minxes in my neighborhood I could just so find myself ... dreaming again.” “Fantastic, realistic, and well-paced.” “One the best stories I have read by far in a few years. Loved the pacing; your descriptions of their exploits were very arousing!!!” “Very good! I really enjoyed this one!” “That was one hell of a story, thank you for creating this masterpiece.” “Lovely—just lovely. Thanks.” “Thanks for this well-written, believable story. The only disappointment was that Jennifer moved away and the relationship ended.” “This was a bit too long for my tastes, even though I couldn’t leave it. One heck of a story!!!”
Congratulations—you are the first person ever to say one of my stories was too long. ๐คช
“Nice pace. All of the senses are involved. The protagonist’s thoughts are well-placed. Good grammar. Sexy!” “I am fond of stories that do not rush through the preliminaries of sex. I am consistently turned on by the slow approach to contact and climax. I also prefer stories that seem as if they actually could have happened. This story has those qualities in spades! When he came in her for the first time I came with him.” “Very well-crafted story. And sexy as hell.” “That was awesome, I wish I had a neighbour like you to babysit for, I’m older at 13 but would love to be part of that.”
Sure thing! Who’s your real estate agent, officer? ๐
“Wow! Probably the best written and most convincing story I’ve read. Thank you.” “A very nice story. I am sure that similar things happen now and then in reality.” “My 12-year-old stepdaughter crawled into my bed one morning and insisted I eat her hairless pussy. (Internet porn piqued her curiosity.) I was in heaven. Later that day we fucked for the first time, but not the last. From 12 ’til she was 15 we fucked several times a week. This great story reminded me of those days. Beautifully written.”
I’ll assume this is fiction, while reminding my readers that I do not advocate breaking any laws.
“I really like your writing. You tell a great story. One small thing: it’s not ‘spitting image’, it is a contraction of ‘spirit and image’.”
Very kind of you to remind us of the etymology of ‘spit ‘n’ image’. I would add only that ‘spitting image’ has been a part of the lexicon for so many generations that the original has become archaic.
“Definitely your best one. All of the others seem to take phrases and copy from this.”
Not far off. In some cases, experiences—real or imagined—were introduced in My Neighbor and later ‘fleshed out’, so to speak, into stories all their own.
“I loved how tender it was for her. I know it’s the responsible thing to do (even in a fantasy), but part of me was a little distraught that he had to put the condom on and not cum in her.” “I loved it. People do not realize how real-to-life the situation is. Great job!” “Holy shit that was an exhilarating, tantalizing and engaging piece of erotica. Your writing is definitely exceptional among your contemporaries; character development and capturing the human condition make your story more organic, authentic and believable. The surreal aspect of intimacy with a 10-year-old is precisely why I didn’t care for this story … it was too real. Good on ya for that, though.”
Ooh, the rare surprise twist! Sorry you didn’t care for the story; good on ya for finishing it, though. ๐คช
Nine for Eleven (2018) “WOW!!!”“You owe me a new keyboard!”
May I take that as a compliment?
“A nearly perfect story. You even had this hopeless perv into it.” “OMG I wish this story was true, and I was the person in it.”
For the girl, or the nine inches? ๐
“What a great story. I would just love to be that lucky guy. A young mouth like that to service my cock—what more can any red-blooded man ask for? Oh well, no law against dreaming!” “Like? Dislike? No … more like love!!!” “Great story and a nice way to start a series.”
Probably not—but I’ve said that before.
“Definite like!” “Nice, liked it a lot!” “Damn, she’s a hot little slut.”
Well, possibly a future slut, but only in my imagination—although I have no doubt that a real-life ‘Gabby’ exists here and there.
“Hot story! I would love to hear more over the phone.”
Sure, officer. What’s your number? ๐
“Nice story—sweet, friendly, and smooth progression.” “I don’t get why he kept calling her a ‘shitburger’. I found that really horrible and offputting.”
It was an unspoken nickname—a playful response to her impishness. That said, I’ve tried to make it more clearly a term of endearment.
“I have seen so many authors try to find the right balance of innocence and nastiness and completely miss the mark. You nailed it, thank you.” “Thought I’d drop a line, let you know I really enjoy your work. Thanks for sharing it!” “Great stuff!” “GREAT story. Reminds me of one time I was traveling, and a young girl at a motel pool was very proud of showing off her ‘starter kit’. Not more than five minutes later she did it a second time!! I got up and left because prison never appealed to me.”
A regret, no doubt. A wise decision, almost certainly.
“As always, enjoyable reading, but would’ve liked more in the way of fun and games. Thanks again for many years of enjoyment.”
Thank you! I always strive to find a logical blend of fantasy and reality.
“Bit much to expect a father to just allow such, but then it’s just a story.” “A father who sends his daughters forth to find a man to whom the younger one can give a hand job, just so she won’t do it to him? Now that is straining credulity almost beyond its limits. “Still, it was an entertaining story of its genre. Some stories don’t work for me, even if I’m willing to suspend my disbelief. This one works. Thank you.”
You’re welcome—although it’s more an example of ‘if she’s going to do it anyway’ than ‘sends his daughters forth’.
“That was great and definitely begs for even more.” “Loved it and want much more.” “I second that request for more. Please!!” “A very nice, well written tale. I hope this was not the end of the encounter, for I had hoped for much, much more. After all, with two very interested girls, and two well hung men, there has to be more.” “I really enjoyed your story a lot. You have lots of room to write even more about the two of them since they get on so well and the father has no problem with the guy teaching his little girl more about sex.” “This is a great story line. I hope that you will expand on it more. You have so many options that you can do with it.” “This story is great. A sequel would be a lot of fun. Perhaps a visit to Toronto? Perhaps Ari decides to get a piece for herself? When does Gabby decide to have sex?”
Thank you all! Yes, it’s likely that there would be more from these characters; from me, no. (I wouldn’t be shocked if another author took them on, though.)
“Very fresh and exciting.” “Don’t we wish.” “Another great story! Thanks for the turn-on!” “Story-telling gold!!! True? Possible, not unbelievable.”
Only true in my dreams, and your imagination.
“Great story, really transitions smoothly and it’s great how you have your own style.” “An excellent story, well constructed and with enough twists in it to maintain interest throughout.” “Thanks for a great hand job! The fact that I did it myself in no way diminishes your part in it via this delight-filled story.” “Hmmm … I need a stepladder, some baby oil and a shitburger right now.”
Hah! I love it! ๐คฃ
“That’s very neatly done throughout. Descriptions are brief but lucid—people, locales or hand jobs, etc. It’s sexy without undue crudeness, has a developing line, and an unusual finish. Means I’ll look for more—an author’s compliment!” “What a great short story! I enjoyed it very much, too bad the older sister didn’t join in. Keep up the good work.” “Nice story but I prefer slow seduction to be more realistic.”
Seduction involving an eleven-year-old is realistic?!
“Good stuff. Just enough to keep the story rolling without bogging it down.” “Outstanding, excellent read, exceptionally believable. Thank you for sharing it.” You Bet It’s Hallowe’en (2018) “A great story.”“Great short story, Admiral.” “Great story! Hallowe’en fics are by far my favorite.” “Hot damn, that was a good one. Loved the backstory as to what started it all.” “Thank you very much, this was a hard and good read. ๐” “This story is so amazing, holy shit! Do part two ASAP!” “Great story. It sure brought some life into this 73-year-old senior.” “Two girls came to my house, about 12; one was a blonde, in a short white dress, a gold halo, white leather heels, and light blue wings. Her friend was a brunette, maybe part-Latina, wearing a short black cocktail dress, knee-high black leather boots, and red devil horns. When I opened the door, I was honestly stunned and speechless. “I only mention because I reread your story and it made me wonder and wish …” “I hope there are return engagements for both girls with their favorite firefighter. Maybe a few of his friends from the firehouse to keep both girls satisfied all evening.” “Love it. Tera and Virginia should have more stories!” “Gotta love sibling rivalry. ๐” “Outstanding, loved the humour.” “That is my fantasy for Hallowe’en.” “I want some more candy, now, too.” “I’ll take the treat any day!!” “Your usual fun and games!” “Very nice, could have been longer, where the guy did both girls, and maybe got help from a boy coming to the door.” “Excellent. ๐” “Damn, that was fun!” My thanks once again to all who write! |