"Okay, then Mr. Morn, just sit down here while I clean up the floor and wash my hands. That's it, make yourself comfortable. Well, as comfortable as you can. I swear, you'd think with the remarkable advances they've made in medicine they could at least design a comfortable barber chair. *laugh*

"You know, I've never had a Lurian as a customer before. Seems like your species doesn't get around too much into Federation territory. Not that there's anything wrong with that, mind you, my species is only just now starting to poke its nose into fields it wouldn't have sneezed at just ten years ago.

"I, myself, come from a long line of barbers. I couldn't imagine doing anything else. Why, I might not be a ship's captain leading his people into great battles and exploring the mysteries of space, but I guarantee you, I know more about what goes on behind the scenes than all the command officers put together. You'd be amazed at what I hear here in my little non-descript part of the station.

"My only regret, if I had one, was that I left the Enterprise. That ship. . . I loved that ship. But, all good things come to an end, I suppose. The little missus felt it was time to quit traipsing all over the quadrant and start to put down roots. I learned long ago not to argue with her, just nod and say 'Yes, dear.'

"There, all done straightening up. Now, what can I do for you, Mr. Morn? A wax and perhaps a massage? A Betazoid cucumber peel?

"Um, are you sure you want that? I mean the guy in that holo does have a wonderful head of hair, but I'm not sure a hair transplant of that magnitude would. . . frame your face in the most flattering light.

"You have, let me see here, one, two, three, four, five, six. . . six hairs. Hmmmmm Let me think.

"Ah, yes! I know just the thing. You sit back here and let me wrap this towel around your neck and we'll get you all spiffied up.

"Just let me know if this tickles, okay?

"No, Mr. Morn, please don't nod your head. Not when you're in the barber's chair. *laugh*

"And. . . Voila! All done. Just let me get the fava conditioner. There we go, let me spin you around and look in the mirror there. Smooth as a baby's bottom, huh? I swear, you could give Captain Picard or the Emissary a run for their money, now.

"No, no don't worry about paying me, this one's on the house. Just be sure to put in a good word for me with all your friends.

"Yes, come back anytime. It was lovely talking to you!"