MERIT BADGE
by
Joe Doe
NATALIE PROVES ONCE AGAIN TO BE A GOOD SPORT AND A GREAT SCOUT.
"I know you've earned extra credit toward your sociology
requirement through your work with the Girl Scouts, Natalie,"
Prof. Searchem said. "But, during the break, I'd like you to
do some work with the Boy Scouts, instead."
"The Boy Scouts?" Natalie said. "What can I teach Boy Scouts? I
mean, I understand that, as a grad student here, I'm a role model
for girls, but...."
"You're a role model for everyone, Natalie.... The group you'd be
working with is made up of Explorer Scouts, all 18 years of age,
and in their last year of Scouting. There has been a merit badge
designed specifically for them, and I'd like you to help them meet
the requirements."
He regarded her with an indulgent smile.
"I believe you met some of the boys when you were a substitute
history teacher at their high school. You'll be pleased to know
that, of all the candidates discussed, you were the one whom all
the boys wanted."
"I'm very flattered," Natalie said. "How many boys would I be
helping?"
"About twenty," he said. "As a matter of fact, I was going to
suggest that you get your cousin, Holly, to meet with the boys,
as well. They have already finished done most of the book work
for their badges, but there is still some field work that they'll
need to do with you girls...."
"I'm looking forward to it," Natalie said brightly. "In fact, I'm
honored."
"The pleasure is all mine," Prof. Searchem said. "And I am looking
forward to hearing all about your adventures."
He shook Natalie's hand and waved her out the door of his office,
then he opened up the manila folder on his desk that contained the
merit badge requirements. He chuckled once again at the full color
drawing of the badge, showing a hand in a plastic glove with a huge
glob of jelly dripping off the middle finger.
Natalie was going to help the boys earn the Strip-Search merit
badge.
He turned the page and began reviewing the print-out:
REQUIREMENTS
1) View movies or videotapes that contain at least 3 of the
following 7 scenarios, involving one or more women...
spied upon while showering or undressing
involuntarily exposed in public
stripped by jail or prison authorities
stripped for auction
stripped by a criminal
stripped for a medical examination
stripped for corporal punishment
Then write a short essay contrasting the women's reactions in the
various films. For example, did the size of the audience or the
perceived power of the authority figures influence these reactions?
Did the women who knew they were being ogled react differently?
Why?
2) During a 30-day period, review the stories posted to a Yahoo
group dealing in strip searches. Write a fan letter to the
author of your favorite story, explaining why you liked it.
3) Write and publish an essay encouraging the authorities to
routinely search women. Possibilities include:
a) Arguing, in the college newspaper, that the female
cheerleaders be strip-searched and given an
over-the-knee paddling after each losing game.
b) Advocating, in the local paper, that women be strip-searched
for routine misdemeanors.
c) Extolling random cavity searches for females as part of the
war against drugs.
d) Suggesting that your local hospital or health center begin
requiring "posture photos" for all women in their 20s or
30s who visit the facility for any reason whatsoever.
4) Raise strip-search awareness. Research your local police
records to find a woman who was strip-searched for a trivial
reason. Publicize her search throughout the community by means
of posters, editorials, and newspaper articles. Make her photo
and the details of her search available on the Web.
(The professor nodded and smiled. The boys had satisfied
requirements 1-3, and Dean Barbara Johnson had already been
selected for #4. So Natalie and Holly need only assist with
5 and 6.)
5) Do one of the following:
a) Visit a local police station with a female friend.
Pre-arrange with the police to have your friend
strip-searched through a case of mistaken identity.
b) Organize a blood drive. Require the attractive female
participants to disrobe for a complete examination.
c) Obtain an "inspector's badge" from your local Health
Department that will allow you to enter the locker
room facility of any health club or private gym for
a shower inspection. Employ it when females of your
acquaintance are in the showers.
d) Bring a woman to a strip club and leave her stranded with no
money and no identification. Pre-arrange a deal with the
strip club owner so that she won't be allowed to use a phone
until she enters the "Amateur Night" contest.
e) Send a student a letter on University letterhead telling her
that her academic scholarship is dependent on submitting a
"posture photo." When she arrives for the photo, require
her to strip naked so that you can photograph her from every
angle.
6) Compile a pictorial list of local women that you would like to
see strip-searched. Fabricate trumped-up charges to justify
their detention and submit their names, pictures, and the
"charges" to local law enforcement for review.
******************************
Prof. Searchem smiled. He wasn't sure how many of these scenarios
Natalie and Holly would experience as the boys plotted their way to
the badge. But they were definitely the right women for the job,
and the plan definitely had merit....
END
Edited by C. Lakewood