(Author Note: This story is based on characters and situations from the classic animated film, Toy Story. Said characters and situations remain the exclusive property of their creators, Pixar. The following is purely an homage.)

"Uh, oh," said Hamm, his pig ear pressed against the door of Andy's room. "She's really letting him have it!"

The unmistakable sounds of a distant spanking in progress could be heard coming down the hall from Mom's bedroom. Through two closed doors and the length of hallway, the strong spanks of Mom's hand, and Andy's howls of pain, didn't sound that bad.

But Woody had been in the room more than once when his owner was face down over his Mom's knee, performing an impromptu aria of pain. He knew that Andy's howls were probably rattling the windows of his mother's bedroom by now.

"Oh, man!" said Rex, as the plastic tyrannosaurus danced about nervously. "I can't stand such violence!"

"What are you worried about, Rex?" said Woody, irritably. "You're not even a humanoid toy, you've got nothing to worry about."

Buzz Lightyear looked genuinely confused by that statement. "What does being a humanoid toy have to do with anything?" he asked quietly. Buzz had settled down into the group since they moved to the new house, but he was still learning some aspects of his life as one of Andy's favorite toys.

"What do you mean, 'what does it matter'?" said Woody, who was confused by the question.

"Woody," said Bo Peep patiently. "This is Andy's first spanking since Buzz arrived."

"Oh, right," said Woody, slapping himself on the forehead. "Then you don't know that..."

"Red alert!" yelled Hamm. "Andy's coming!" The pig ran away from the door, racing to take up a position near where he had last been left by his owner.

The sound of Andy's crying was unmistakably getting closer. "Great!" said Woody. "Places, everybody! And good luck."

"Good luck?" asked Buzz, totally confused. "Woody, what don't I know?"

Woody was unable to answer, since the door to the room was flung open, and the crying, petulant Andy entered. Woody and Buzz both collapsed to the floor where they had been standing, inanimate until their owner either left the room again or fell asleep.

Andy grabbed the door and gathered himself, clearly intending to slam the door shut in anger.

"Don't you dare, young man!" screamed Mom from out in the hall. "Not unless you want me to fetch my hair brush!"

The seething Andy looked ready to slam the door anyway, then after a few seconds he got control of his anger and slowly shut the door. He slowly turned and scanned his room, rubbing the seat of his shorts with both hands as he turned. Andy spotted Woody, and stooped to pick up the cowboy doll before flinging himself face down on his Buzz Lightyear bedspread to cry himself out.

Woody was silently smug about the fact that Andy, in the throes of his pain and anguish, had chosen him over the newcomer, Buzz. Woody couldn't even count the number of times Andy had cried himself to sleep after a spanking or other punishment, with his favorite cowboy doll hugged tight for comfort.

Woody had always found it comforting, too..... of course the stuff that happened later wasn't quite so comforting. Boy, was Buzz in for a surprise!

"Take that, you naughty boy!" Whack! Whack!

"No! Please! No more Mommy!"

"I'm not even started with you yet, you little brat!" Whack! Whack!

"Owww! Mommy! Noooo! Bwah-ha-ha!"

Andy was playing with his toys again. Bo Peep, in the role of the Mommy, was spanking her son, played in this case by Woody.

Woody hated it when Andy used Bo Peep's shepherd's crook to spank him. That thing really stung! Yes, it was plastic, and so was Woody's backside, so it didn't technically damage him. But Woody experienced pain nonetheless - or at least something he perceived as pain. It was all very existential. That was the word, right? He'd have to ask Mr. Spell about it.

Whack! Whack! "Have you had enough, Woody?"

"Yes, Mommy! I promise! I'll be good!"

"You better be, or Mommy will go fetch her hairbrush!"

Woody was set aside, though he was still on the bed.

"Okay, now it's time for your brother, Buzz, to get his spanking!"

Soon Buzz was face down on the bed, and Bo Peep was lining up her shepherd's crook with the seat of Buzz's space suit.

"Please, no Mommy! I'm really sorry! Don't spank me!"

"It's too late for sorry, Buzz! You need a good spanking, and you're gonna get one!" Whack! Whack!

Woody was lying inanimate on the bed facing the spanking in progress. He was certain that he saw Buzz's eyes go wide when the space ranger felt the first whack of the shepherd's crook on his plastic backside. Welcome to the family, Buzz.