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"Begging" by The Unknown Wanderer (begging for sex) Emperor: 6, 4, 4
"Begging" by The Unknown Wanderer (conf99@anon.nymserver.com). Guest review by the Emperor. Let's see what Celeste has sent me this time, ah, it's a new story called "Begging". First of all the story begins by stating that the author is willing to remain anonymous and thus publishes his story through someone else. Well Unknown Wanderer, even if you had posted this by the name/email Unknown Wanderer, I'd still wouldn't know who you were. Second, the story is supposed to be a rough draft; so I suggest you put it through a spellcheck to find all your typos and then let someone else read it, and only then you should publish it. And now for the story. The author starts out by saying (with all modesty) that he's good in bed and that he has a loving relationship with his girlfriend Laura; and according to what he says they keep each other sexually happy. Well, one day Laura gets sent away, on work, for two weeks; and the author goes from getting it everyday to not getting it all. Well, you can imagine what this does to him. After the two weeks his girlfriend comes home and surprises him at his apartment (and I thought that he would wait for her in the airport). And surprisingly enough she's desperate for sex. Well, what can a horny twently- something guy can do but give her what she wants? And now comes the twist of the story and the reason for its title, the narrator makes his girlfriend beg for sex when she's tied up to his bed and says that he will fuck her only if she'll do a good number on him. >From here on the story goes on and on showing her efforts at making him happy so that he will fuck her. What a loving relationship. And now the critique. Let's start with the easy part - the technical side of the story. As I've said, the author should have spellchecked his story and given it to someone else to read before posting it. (I wonder if he even reread it himself.) There are just too many typos in the story; they distract from the story itself. For the plot & characters side - there's not much plot in the story nor characters - just two people having sex with each other. It reminded me very much of those sex movies where they try to have some plot in it but lose it after the first 3 minutes of the movie and just keep fucking each other to the end of the story/movie. As for me, this kind of story is not my cup of tea. I don't believe that in a loving relationship one side of the couple should beg for sex after not seeing her partner for two weeks. And so the guy's degrading behavior toward his girlfriend just didn't do it for me. Finally, even if this plot sounds good to you, I suggest you try this story only after the author reposts it as a final edition and not as a rough draft. Ratings for "Begging" Athena (technical quality): 6 Venus (plot & character): 4 Emperor (appeal to reviewer): 4 |