<<There's a city in the mountains where people fuck day and night. Couples do each other in the open, kids do each other in the schools, and incest is not only common, it's encouraged. It's a pussy-stuffing, cock-pumping fantasyland. And everyone calls it Utopia.>> -- Excerpt from Ted Alexander's report on American Sexuality

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Where is Utopia? Does it even exist? And do people really practice the weird and unusual sexual rituals rumored to take place there? Free love? Family orgies? Guilt-free sex in any manner and combination you can imagine?

These questions have floated through newsgroups for years, with some people purporting to know the location of Utopia and others simply adding to the mountain of supposition that surrounds this legendary land.

Thanks to the miracle of anonymous posting, I'm here to substantiate the facts, slay the suppositions and give you the truth, once and for all, about the place you call Utopia. My name is Mark Thompson. I'm 25 years old, and have been a resident of Utopia for all of my life. I've been given permission by the community council to help you understand how our community works.

First, a little history. You won't find Utopia on any map. Our community was given that name by an outsider, and using it suits our wish to remain anonymous and outside the rush of civilization. We were founded in the 1800's by three miners who discovered an exceptionally rich and deep vein of gold in the California mountains. In time, the miners brought their families, and with the addition of select outsiders, a true community began to grow. In the 20's, this assemblage of people voted to become a commune, with all property owned by the community. In the 60's, the commune incorporated, earning the right to set its own laws and school its own children. All along we've relied upon the assets from the gold mine to keep a good standard of living, growing what food we can, but mostly buying supplies from the outside world.

While we are geographically isolated, we are very much a part of the modern world in many ways. Thanks to satellite connections we surf the Internet. Those same satellites provide us with the latest television shows and news. Just like you, we wear Nikes, revel at Michael Jordan, believe O.J. to be guilty and mourn Princess Diana's passing. Nor should we be classified with the anti-government militia groups, fearful of a U.N. takeover, black helicopters and other nonsense. We pay our taxes, vote and will join the armed services if necessary to defend U.S. interests and principles.

Not your version of Utopia? Well, this isn't a recruiting mission. Though I try to refrain from making sweeping statements, I doubt you're ready to live the life we lead. Oh, if you're of the conservative bent, there are probably a few things you'd find attractive. For instance, because our families are so important to us, all family members live in the same household. And our community is set up as a true democracy, with self-reliance as one of our leading principles. If you're a liberal, you'd probably applaud the notion that we keep to strict population control, never letting our needs outstrip our resources, thereby eliminating poverty in our corner of the world. And that we are truly a multi-ethnic, multi-cultural community, with no hint of racial hatred or discrimination.

The key, though, is in how we implement our principles. And the role that sex plays in our everyday lives. You may find our way of life perverted. You may find it erotic. But I can guarantee that you won't find it boring.