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 I stood at the window and fingered my clit in an absent minded sort of way
as I looked out at the passing cars.  People going somewhere, doing
something.  It seemed everybody had a life except me.  I was bored and
randy.  If you're a man reading this and you think you know how randy a
women can get, trapped inside a crappy flat with only her six year old
daughter for company, no outside contact, no friends, no sex.  Well, you
fucking don't.  I leant back and dug in a little deeper.  Although it felt
good; a good rub always does, I was no closer to coming than I'd been for
the last few days.  Frustration wasn't the word for it.
   Penny was stretched out watching TV, nightdress rucked-up to her waist
with her little white bum on show.  I felt like giving it a good slap or
sinking my teeth into a nice fleshy bit, but I didn't.  Instead I sat back
down at the small corner table and pulled over my laptop.  I lit a
cigarette, took a sip of cold coffee and wracked my brain for a site. 
Anything kinky.  I liked BDSM.  I liked Pedo, not that it's so easy to find
these days.  I've always liked porn, a lot of women do, they just don't go
on and on about like some men.  If you really knew what women thought
sometimes you'd shit yourself.  I typed in `Women who Sexually Abuse'
hoping to find something, anything, that would turn me on.  I think having
Penny around me all the time, without a normal sexual outlet was making me
think about her sexually.  I'm not sure.  Now, I think maybe I've always
been a depraved slut.  I'm a bad mummy.
   Anyway, that's what started it all, a random enquiry one boring early
morning.  I hit enter.  Top of the page `Jessica Howell' Just what did she
say in those text messages?  Come over and fuck my daughter?  Did she
watch? I bet she did.  My imagination went into over-drive, dirty images
coming thick and fast and so was I.  The best I'd had for some time.  The
cigarette had burnt to ash; I lit another with a shaky hand and clicked for
more.  A woman in Ireland teaches her five year old girl to masturbate and
offers her to a neighbour to do with her what he likes, for as long as he
likes.  He fucks her, much to her mother's pleasure.  `Natalie Webb' puts
on a show and abuses all three of her children in front of an audience.  I
bring myself off again, another shuddering climax.  This was good.  There's
more, page after page.  Fuck me, I think.  Just how many women are at it
and these are just the few who'd been caught!
   That night I had some lovely thoughts as I spread my legs wide and
slipped in a dildo.  Nice and slow.  Easy.  At my pace.  Not going at it
like a fucking maniac, not that I don't mind a bit of rough sometimes, I
mean it's all grist to the mill, if you know what I mean.  But if men could
stick it in like that, get it going then just hold it back for a minute,
nice and slow and deep, instead of trying to shove it through the top of
your fucking head, sex would be so much better.
   Mothers willing to give up their kid to be abused, that's what was going
round and round my brain as I fucked myself.  It felt really good.  A
mother's greatest fear, the idea of her child being abducted, sexually
abused and tortured.  I felt queasy and sick just thinking about it, but
when I let myself imagine what might happen to Penny, my own little girl,
if she was snatched by some sickos I got more and more excited.  It was
like a sort of feed-back mechanism.  The guilt of such evil thoughts was
sort of delicious.Raped, tortured.  The idea that I would want that to
happen, even help to make it happen, sent waves of disgust through me, yet
it was making me wet and hot at the same time.
   I put my head back on my pillow and closed my eyes.  They would strip
her, stick things up her cunt and arse, tie her up and whip her.  Hang her
head down and drip hot wax on her cunt.  Fuck.  My imaginations just went
on and on, each one more depraved than the last.  And when they done all
that, when they'd done every vile thing to her that they could think of,
would they sell her on to a group of pedos to be finished off?  Oh God,
that made me come, it would be so good.  What if they decided to kill her?
I tried to stop.  I really did.  But I was loving it.
   Next morning I shaved and rubbed in something stingy for an extra kick.
I dressed Penny, but just like me, without any knickers.  I wanted to play.
First stop was the large supermarket in the High Street.  I took Penny
straight to the toy aisle
   "Stay here" I said to her "Mummy's going shopping.  I'll come and get
you later" Penny nodded like a good girl, fascinated with the row after row
of toys above her head.  I turned to leave, then turned back and hitched up
her dress to show just a little more curve of her white bum "OK.  Stay
there" Penny nodded again and I walked away, my heart thumping.
   I had purposely left my little girl vulnerable and alone.  She could so
easily be picked-up by anybody.  You read about it all the time.  Taken and
fucked to death.  That sick feeling was welling up, but I forced myself to
continue walking.  Down Housewares, over to Frozen, not seeing a thing of
what was on sale, not even seeing the passing customers.  I was boiling up
with how depraved and corrupt I was being, feelings that rushed around my
head till I was dizzy.  I kept going, knowing all the time how I'd left my
Penny alone with her little bum on show.  Somebody could actually be taking
her now, right now.  I felt faint, my feet stumbled, my legs shaky.  I
leant over the edge of a freezer cabinet and slipped my hand quickly under
my skirt.  I came so strong that for a moment I couldn't see.  Now, I
panicked.  Rushing back I saw Penny, a young women was bending down and
talking to her.  She took Penny's hand and they started to walk away.
   "Penny" I shouted "Where have you've been.  I've told you not to run
away from mummy like that"
   "Hello" the women said as I hurried up "Is she yours?  I thought she
might be lost"
   "Sorry" I said "She has a habit of running away"
   She smiled "She's a pretty little thing"
   "Yes.  She is" I wasn't sure what else to say.  Holding Penny in my arms
I watched as the young women walked away.  She reached the top of the
aisle, turned and gave me a long look and then beamed a smile.  My legs
turned to jelly and my stomach did a strange inside-out turn.  Did she want
Penny?  I pushed up Penny's skirt with my free hand to display all of her
bum and long legs, but she was gone from sight.  Maybe, it was an
opportunity lost.  I didn't know.  The urge to have her abused as I looked
on was making me feel weak.  I looked around for a security camera, seeing
one I deliberately held Penny to show off her cunt.  `Accidently' of
course. Wank on that I thought, getting wet and feeling wonderfully wicked
and perverted.
   Outside, I took Penny's hand and walked, not sure where, just walked. 
My mind was in turmoil.  I knew I shouldn't do anything like that again. 
But I wanted it.  Wanted that sick, thrilling feeling.  I stopped at the
top of a road I recognised and realised it led down to a park.
   "Wanna go to the park" I straighten up Penny's clothes, making sure I
hitched up her dress again as high as I could without making the exposure
too obvious.  Penny was delighted by the idea.
   "OK.  You can run ahead, but don't cross any roads" Penny didn't need
any encouragement and I stood still and let her get a good distance away
before I started after her.  Once again, I enjoyed myself as I saw how easy
it would be for her to be taken.  If something happen now I wouldn't be
able to stop it.  I could only watch as some slimy pedo took her away and
did lovely, awful things to her.  I bent down quickly and undid the bottom
buttons of my skirt.  It was knee length, but with the buttons undone my
cunt felt the breeze nicely.
   I watched her wait for me at the corner, by the main road and I still
held back, knowing this would be an ideal spot for her to be picked up.  I
let myself fall into the fear and anxiety of it all.  What a bad mummy.
   Once in the park we headed from the swings.  It was a little chilly, but
that didn't seem to bother Penny much.  It was early and we had the
playground to ourselves.  That is, until a man took a bench across the way
and watched.  I could see how he focused on Penny as she climbed up the
slide with her bum on full display, it thrilled me.  Calling her across I
took her to me and gave her a hug, but my eyes were on him.  I put my arm
about her waist and `accidently' lifted up her little dress to give him a
good view.  I could see the shocked expression on his face from where we
sat.
   But it didn't stop him getting his cock out and starting to stroke.  I
gave him a big smile and bent Penny towards me so he could get a good view.
His wanking speed increased.  Putting both hands on Penny's bum I pulled
the cheeks apart showing him her little brown bum hole.  He half stood,
still with one hand on his cock.  I wondered if I could get Penny to suck
it.  That would be nice.  So fucking kinky.  But children's shouts herald
the arrival of newcomers and two mothers pushing prams came into the play
park to spoil our fun.  Quickly covering himself up my flasher took off.
   I thought if I was going to make this work I would have to be even
bolder.  Taking Penny by the hand I left for the gate on the far side,
trying to orientate myself to where we were so I could make my way home. 
On the way we walked passed a toilet block and I thought about what I could
do with Penny if I took her inside.  It was sure to have a `glory hole'
where I could get her to suck cock or maybe I could strip her naked, tie
her up in one cubicle and leave her to wait while I hid in another.  I was
so wrapped-up with all these different dirty ideas I was surprised to find
we were suddenly outside the park gates and it was beginning to rain.
   It was a shitty, run-down neighbourhood.  I stopped at a cinema showing
soft porn films.  The rain was light but it was still wet, why not go
inside, it could be fun.  The cashier was a pimply kid who obviously
couldn't give a shit about anything and although he gave me a strange look
as I brought the tickets he didn't stop me taking Penny in.  Inside it
smelt musty and damp.  I breathed in the filthy air and felt my clit
tingle. It was just the place for pervs all right.  Before I sat her beside
me I pulled her dress up above her waist while I popped the rest of my
buttons and opened my legs.  We both sat in the dark, cunts exposed and
waited.
   The light from the screen brighten every now and again and made Penny's
legs show up invitingly in the sudden glow.  I hoped, I prayed for somebody
to come and take a closer look.  When it happened I didn't see him at all.
But I heard the cinema seat drop and the swish his of his coat as he sat
down.  I looked over, all I could see in the darkness was a large black
shape.  His eyes were fixed on the screen.  He must have heard my
breathing, but I couldn't help it.  My hands were busy between my legs.  I
looked again and gasped, a hand was now on Penny's knee and I hadn't even
seen him do it, but he still faced the screen as though what his hand was
doing was nothing to do with him at all.  He was just watching the film. 
Then one of those blazes of lights came and he turned his head and looked
at me and I smiled.  He was an old man and the light revealed him, a dirty
dishevelled figure, unshaved and dirty.  A tramp.  Good, I thought in a
thrilling rush, the dirtier the better.
   Penny seemed oblivious.  His touch must have been very light or
carefully placed.  "Let's play a game" I whispered "Now be a good girl" and
reached down to pull her legs apart.  The perv snatched his hand back as if
I'd snubbed a cigarette out on his wrist, but he stayed still and watched.
I slid my hand up Penny's leg and cupped her vulva.  The little minx
actually pushed her self forward into my hand and I felt the warm of it as
it nestled into my palm.
   Encouraged, he put his hand back on her knee as I took mine away and his
probing fingers soon took my place between her legs.  Penny squirmed and I
whispered again "Be good" I leaned across to him and gagged on stale
breath.
   "Harder" I spoke softly to him "Do it harder, please.  You can tear her
cunt out if you like.  In fact I want you to" Penny reared as he tried to
push a dirty finger inside and I had to pull her head back and put one hand
over her mouth to keep her from crying out.  My other hand was too busy
bringing myself off.  Fuck this was good, I came hard watching him drool,
rubbing frantically at my little girls cunt hole.  I wanted to tell him to
get his cock and I'd make Penny suck it and swallow every stinking drop of
cum and then he could stick it up her arse.  If it was tight he'd have to
force it in.  Lovely.  So fucking dirty.  We must do this again, only
worse. Much worse.  I was a very bad mummy.

   
  
I'M A BAD MUMMY