Ingredients
1 cup “quick” oats
1 oz. cooking chocolate (or more, or less, as desired)
yellow food colouring
1½ cups water
Instructions
1) Melt the chocolate in a microwave (10 seconds, stir, 10 seconds, stir, and so on until it’s melted – should take 30 or 40 seconds).
2) Pour the oats and water into a small saucepan (preferably non-stick) and heat to boiling.
3) Stir constantly as the mixture thickens.
4) Add the melted chocolate, and stir it in well.
5) Add yellow food colouring (slowly!), stirring in well, until you have achieved the desired colour.
6) When the mixture is thick enough that your stirring reveals the bottom of the pan, take it off the heat. (You can keep heating and stirring, for a firmer ‘turd’, or take it off the heat sooner than this, for a runnier consistency.)
7) Allow the mixture to cool. You can cool it more rapidly, if you like, by dumping the mixture into a bowl and then placing that bowl carefully into a tub of cold water. Just don’t get the mixture wet!
8) When the mixture is cool, shape it into turd form.
9) Repeat as often as necessary, depending on how many turds you want.