A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Prom

by Arthur Saxon
meganeura@hotmail.com

Seth Dobbs cleared his throat, straightened his bow-tie, and then rang his girlfriend’s doorbell. This would be his first encounter with Mia’s parents, and he was a little nervous – he had heard things about her father, in particular. A ferocious man, his friends had told him with wide eyes; a man who had once beaten another man to a pulp just for looking at his wife.

The door opened suddenly, making Seth jump. Standing there in the doorway was a short, balding, middle-aged man with thick glasses and a twitch in his left eye. Seth’s brow furrowed. An uncle perhaps? Friend of the family?

“Um, I’m here to pick up Mia,” he said.

“Oh, you must be Seth!” said the man. “I’m Vic Harrison – Mia’s father. Pleased to meet you.” He extended a hand.

Seth shook it, almost laughing with relief. So his friends had been pulling his leg, had they? Well, he would get them back for that one sometime. For now, however, he just wanted to see Mia.

She was already bounding down the stairs excitedly, gorgeous, golden-haired, sapphire-eyed, and wearing a beautiful shiny pink prom dress that came down to mid-calf. Her heaving breasts, enhanced with puppy-fat and a push-up bra, were almost spilling out of her top, and Seth wondered what her father thought about that.

All he said, however, was, “Wow!”

Mia giggled. “You like?” she inquired, giving him a twirl.

“You look … beautiful!” he said candidly. Remembering her corsage suddenly, he thrust the flowers at her.

“Oh thank you!” she said. “They’re lovely.”

“Well, have a nice evening,” said Mr Harrison. “Have her home by one o’clock, please, Seth.”

“Yes sir, I will,” said Seth.

“Good – well, bye then,” said Vic. He retreated inside and closed the door.

Seth chuckled. “Those guys!” he said. “Jacob and Steve were all like, ‘Watch out for Mia’s dad, he’s a real animal – he beat someone up just for looking at his wife’.”

“Oh, well, yes, he did that,” conceded Mia. “That was a long time ago though – he’s mellowed out a lot since then.”

Seth’s jaw dropped. “He did? Really? He doesn’t look…”

“Are you going to talk about my dad all night, or are you going to escort me to the car?” asked Mia.

“Oh! Sorry,” said Seth. He extended his elbow, and Mia took it with a little giggle.

They had only been dating for a couple of weeks. Mia was in her sophomore year, and had recently turned sixteen. Seth was eighteen and a half, and was getting a little tired of being labelled a cradle-snatcher. But Mia was worth it – she was a very sweet girl, if a little silly at times. He was dying to get her into bed, if truth be told, but he had no intention of pressuring her into it. Perhaps tonight would be the night, perhaps not – but in any case, he would feel honoured to have her dancing with him at the prom. They might even have a shot at being elected Prom King and Queen.

As they climbed into the back of the limo, Seth’s friend Jacob and his girlfriend Tiffany grinned and said hi to Mia.

“I love that dress, Mia,” said Tiffany, a pretty redhead who was wearing a strapless turquoise dress. “That’s a gorgeous colour.”

“Thanks!” said Mia brightly. “Yours is awesome too.”

The limo took them out of town, and they chatted and laughed together as the rows of houses gave way to trees and the occasional field. Twenty minutes later, they pulled into the parking lot of Paulo’s Ristorante, a restaurant that Seth had recommended, though none of the others had been there before.

Eyes shining, Mia climbed out of the car and took Seth’s elbow again as they walked into the restaurant. A waiter met them just inside the door, and showed them to their table. For a small, out-of-the-way eatery, it was surprisingly up-market and the food, when it arrived, was excellent. Seth, who was prepared for the prices, could not help grinning at Jacob’s winces whenever Tiffany requested something expensive from the menu. Poor Jacob – his father was only a plumber.

They did not hurry over their meal, and Tiffany was only halfway through her dessert when seven-thirty rolled around. “Guys,” said Jacob, “we should really get going – it starts in half an hour.”

“Oh, lighten up!” said Seth. “This isn’t like being late for class, dude – nobody will care if we’re not there at eight.”

Mia smiled at Seth. Then she abruptly stopped smiling – her stomach was feeling a little strange. Very full … and rather queasy. She subtly rubbed her belly, and the feeling subsided.

Fifteen minutes later they were back in the limo and heading back towards town. By now, Mia was feeling distinctly unwell. She clutched at her stomach and grimaced. Tiffany was the first to notice.

“Are you okay, hon?” she asked.

“What’s wrong?” asked Seth, looking down at her in surprise.

“Oh nothing,” said Mia, but her face betrayed her. “Actually, I wonder if we could stop somewhere? I kind of need to use a restroom.”

Seth knocked on the partition behind him, and slid the glass window across. “Hello, driver?” he said. “Could you stop at the next place that has a restroom, please?”

“Sure,” said the driver.

Two minutes later, they pulled into a gas station. Mia was gritting her teeth – her bowels were feeling very full. She clenched her buttocks tightly, afraid that she was about to lose control and make a mess in her panties. As the car stopped, she flung herself out and rushed into the little store by the pumps. A fat and rather dirty man was sitting behind the counter, scratching under one arm while he watched a small television.

“Hello!” said Mia desperately. “Do you have a restroom here?”

“Outside,” said the man without looking up. “Flush doesn’t work though. Bin meaning to get it fixed, but, y’know.”

“Thanks!” said Mia. She hurried back outside and ran, as quickly as she could without stumbling on her high heels, around the side of the building. Behind it she found a little wooden outhouse, whose door was hanging on precariously to a couple of loose, rusty hinges.

She pulled the door open, and the smell hit her like a blast of hot air from an oven. Gagging, she put her hand over her nose and mouth, and peered into the darkness within. The light from the doorway was illuminating a wet floor covered with dark objects, and she could hear the buzzing of a great many flies. Her bowels now screaming to be emptied, she leaned across the threshold, and fumbled around for a light switch.

She found one, and flicked it. A dim bulb popped into feeble life above her, and she recoiled as she looked around the disgusting room. The floor was awash with what, from the smell, she assumed to be mostly urine. It was as if hundreds of people, one after the other, had stopped here at the doorway, decided it was too disgusting to proceed any further, and simply peed on to the floor. The dark objects scattered all over the floor, she now realised with horror, were actual turds. What kind of people would defecate on the floor?

This was an awful place, and Mia wanted to run far away from it, but she desperately needed to poop and she knew she would not be able to hold it until they found another restroom. She took off her brand new shoes – they had cost a hundred and fifty dollars and she definitely did not want to get poo on them. Placing them just outside the door, she stepped inside in her bare feet, placing her left foot gingerly between two large turds, and her right in a slightly larger poo-free area. Both feet sank further than she had expected – apparently, beneath the half-inch depth of urine, there was a layer of mush comprised perhaps of dissolved poo, and possibly the vomit of those who had come in here and lost the contents of their stomachs. Mia was almost at that point herself, but she was determined to make it to the toilet so that she could defecate.

The toilet, however, was the worst part of the room. Its seat, broken in two pieces, was lying in a corner, so she would have to sit down on the bare ceramic. But the ceramic was streaked with brown and yellow, all up the sides and around the rim. There was even, draped over the rim itself, a large, fly-covered turd which she would somehow have to avoid sitting on.

But the thing that made Mia come closest to throwing up was what was inside the bowl. Clearly, people had been defecating in it for some time since the flush mechanism broke. A massive pile of poo had built up inside, completely burying the water and heaping up until its central summit was higher than the bowl’s rim. Worse still, the enormous pile of poo was simply heaving with maggots.

Mia put both hands over her nose and mouth and tried to filter the pungent air through her fingers. She was desperate to sit down, relax her anus, and let her poo flood out (she felt sure it would be diarrhoea), but there was no way she was going to be able to do that and keep her dress clean. She should take it off … but where should she put it?

Looking around at the grimy walls for a hook, she suddenly noticed something else – little dark insects were crawling all over the place. She had been so fixated on the floor and the toilet that she had not seen them until now, but looking around she realised that they were everywhere. She was not completely sure what they were, but the word ‘cockroach’ quickly formed in her mind.

She turned slowly on the spot, and closed and locked the door she had just come through. The back of the door was covered in the insects, and before she had had time to release the handle, one of them started running up her arm. It was definitely a cockroach. Mia yelped and brushed it off, stepping back away from the door in fright.

Her bare right foot landed on something soft, which squished up between her toes as she put her weight down. She shuddered with revulsion as she looked down and saw that she had stepped in a large turd. She retched, but somehow managed to keep her food down. Lifting her foot, she kicked it back and forth in a nearby clear patch of urine, washing off most of the poo. As she swirled her foot around, a cloud of disturbed mush turned the clear urine brown and opaque.

“Never mind,” she said to herself determinedly, “I can clean my feet on the grass outside.”

The door handle was too low for her to hang her dress on it – half of it would be trailing in the muck on the floor. The washbasin was none too clean, and was swarming with cockroaches, but at least it was not covered with poo and urine. Very carefully, Mia unzipped the back of her dress, pulled it up over her head, and draped it over the basin. Immediately it started to slide off, but she caught it, rearranged it, and then watched it for a moment to make sure it was going to stay in place.

Her bowels were threatening to explode. She stepped quickly and carefully over to the toilet, where she grimaced with disgust at the maggoty heap of poo in the bowl. Turning around, she pulled her pale pink satin panties down to her knees, then slowly she lowered herself down towards the ceramic bowl. She did not want to put her hands down on the filthy rim, so she leaned forwards to keep her centre of gravity over her feet as her naked bottom descended.

Her right thigh was now approaching the turd that was draped over the rim. It was near the front of the bowl, but several inches to the right of centre, so the only way to avoid it was for her to spread her thighs wide apart. Adjusting her feet to compensate, she continued to lower herself down towards the bowl.

Her thighs were still several inches above the ceramic when her pussy touched the summit of the huge pile of poo. Leaning forward as she was, with her thighs spread wide, her labia easily parted around the maggoty turd curving over the peak. Mia, utterly disgusted by the sensation of the poo squishing against her clitoris and the wriggling of the maggots between her labia, retched again, and this time a little vomit surged up into her mouth. She swallowed it back down, trying to force herself into a calmer state of mind.

She tried not to think as she continued to lower her thighs towards the bowl’s rim. Her pussy sank further and further into the pile of poo, squishing it down as it moulded itself around her labia. Her vaginal opening became buried, sinking down through the poo, and Mia tried not to imagine maggots crawling up inside her. It was not easy! She could feel them wriggling against her. As she sank deeper, her anus too became buried, and the poo began to shape itself around her buttocks.

With her bottom sinking into the bowl, the displaced poo started rising around her, squishing up above the level of her pussy at the front, and threatening to spill out behind her back. But then her thighs, having reached the ceramic, finally took her full weight, and she stopped sinking.

But the wriggling was getting too much for Mia. As much as she tried not to think about it, she could not help feeling them crawling between her pussy lips, against her anus, and around the entrance to her vagina. In fact, she was sure that she could feel them entering her…

In a panic, she rocked herself forward and lifted her bottom out of the poo. It was no good – she could not bear to have her pussy in direct contact with all of those horrible maggots. She needed something between her and them…

The answer was obvious, and she quickly pulled her panties up, capturing in the process several chunks of poo that had stuck to her buttocks and pussy, and a great many maggots. She sat back down, her panty-clad bottom sinking into the poo, and when she was settled, she relaxed her anus. Poo rushed out of her rectum – not diarrhoea as she had thought, but simply a long and very soft turd that lost its shape as it filled the space between her buttocks and oozed everywhere it could find room.

Feeling the discomfort of the reverse pressure as the flow slowed to a crawl, Mia leaned forward and lifted her bottom a little, making more room for her poo. It poured out of her with renewed speed, filling the back of her panties and causing the satin material to balloon outwards. Her gusset began filling with poo as it oozed forwards, sliding beneath her vagina and pushing between her labia to surround and cradle her clitoris. More poo surged forward, and her labia became completely enveloped; soon even the front of her panties began to bulge outwards as it filled up with poo.

Mia grunted as she pushed out some firmer chunks into the back of her panties. Then, having finished, she let out a deep sigh of relief and sat back down, her poo squishing against her as it compressed. It occurred to her that she might as well pee, too, but she did not particularly want to wet her panties like a little girl. Standing up, she gingerly grasped the front of her panties and pulled them to one side, exposing her pussy. Some poo fell out, the sight of which made her stomach churn, but she kept pulling until her vagina was uncovered. Then she lowered herself back down on to the toilet. Her pussy sank once again into the maggot-ridden poo, but she forced herself not to heed the wriggling sensations as she relaxed her bladder, and it started to empty.

Her bladder was not very full, and she was soon finished. Her urine soaked into the pile of poo, moistening it and turning some of it to mush. She reached down between her legs with a grimace of distaste, grasped the front of her panties, and pulled the material across to cover her pussy. In doing so, she scooped up a considerable amount of poo, as well as plenty of maggots, which then became trapped against her clitoris and vagina.

When she started to feel wriggling inside her, Mia could no longer keep her stomach under control. She retched, and slapped a hand to her mouth as she vomited. The contents of her stomach hit her hand and were deflected down her chest, pouring like a river over the left cup of her bra. She finished, spat, and uttered what was for her an uncharacteristically strong word.

“Crap!” she said, looking down at her vomit-covered bra. She reached behind her back and unfastened it. Taking it off, she looked around for somewhere to put it, but there was nowhere except for the basin … but that was occupied by her dress, which was still clean and would hopefully stay that way. With a sigh, she tossed her bra a few feet away on to the floor – it was messy anyway, she reasoned.

She felt a tickling on her back, which climbed higher and higher until it reached her left shoulder. She slapped her hand back there, and caught hold of something small and hard. Pulling it in front of her and seeing that it was a cockroach, she shuddered and threw it away. She noticed another roach on her leg, and quickly flicked it off. Then she leaned forward and prepared to stand up.

As she rose, her bottom came out of the poo with a sucking sound. It was time to clean herself up. She gingerly started to pull her panties down; they were stuck to her by the poo inside, but eventually they dropped away, and she lowered them slowly, trying to minimise their contact with her legs.

Stepping out of them with first one foot and then the other, she placed them carefully in the toilet bowl, atop the now misshapen pile of poo. Now completely naked, she looked around for toilet paper, and was distressed to find nothing in the toilet roll holder, and no spares in sight. There was a paper towel dispenser by the washbasin, but that was empty too. She wrinkled her nose in disgust as she started to dislodge lumps of poo from her buttocks, using her fingers.

A rustling sound, quiet and slow at first, but quickly growing louder, confused her for a moment, until movement in the corner of her eye caused her to turn in a panic towards the washbasin. Her dress was sliding off! With a yelp, she lunged for it with her hands outstretched.

Unfortunately, her left foot landed on a large chunk of poo, and slipped backwards. Mia screamed as she fell forwards, and she put out her hands to brace for impact. If she had possessed greater strength in her upper arms, she might have simply fallen into a push-up position … but as it was, her arms merely broke her fall, and her entire torso fell with a ‘smack!’ into the urine and brown mush on the floor. Her right breast’s impact was cushioned by a trio of big squishy turds that were lying together, produced perhaps by the same person. Her nipple sank into the poo as it squished around her entire breast.

Her left breast simply descended into the urine and then pressed down into the brown mush beneath. Her upper chest, belly, pelvis and thighs flattened several other turds as they landed, so all in all her impact was not as severe as it might have been, but she was still a little winded by the fall.

Somehow she had managed to keep her face mostly out of the urine – only her chin had dipped beneath the surface. She looked up at her dress, which was sprawling in the muck in front of her, and she let out a sob. It was ruined!

She pushed herself up on to her hands and knees, then she stood up. There was no going to the prom now, she realised, as tears rolled down her cheeks.

There was a knock on the door. “Are you all right in there?” came Tiffany’s voice.

“No!” cried Mia. “It’s totally disgusting in here, and I tried to keep clean, but … my dress is ruined!”

“Oh my God!” exclaimed Tiffany. “Oh Mia, I’m so sorry!”

“Listen,” said Mia, “I don’t want the prom to be ruined for you guys as well. Why don’t you and Jacob go on in the limosine? Seth can call us a taxi. Poor Seth – I don’t know how I’m going to explain this to him.”

“I’m sure he’ll understand. But … I don’t want to leave you in the lurch…”

“It’s fine, really,” said Mia. “You go on and have a great time.”

“Okay… Well, see you later then!”

New tears rolled down Mia’s cheeks as she heard Tiffany’s footsteps retreat, and she sat down on the floor, feeling miserable. She did not even care that she had sat down on a small pile of poo, nor that it was oozing between her labia and squishing against her anus and vagina. She was filthy already from head to toe – what difference did it make?

There was no way she was going to be able to clean up here, with no water. She might as well just have Seth take her home in a taxi, and she would take a nice shower followed by a long hot bath. God, how good that would feel!

In the meantime, of course, she would have to get dressed. Leaning over to her left, she caught hold of both of the shoulder straps of her bra, and dragged it towards her through the muck. Several turds were caught by the cups as she pulled it, and when she lifted it out of the urine and opened it out, the left cup contained two good-sized turds while the right contained two small nuggets and a very large turd that was too long to be fully contained within the cup. By now, though, Mia did not even care enough to tip the cups over so that the turds would fall out – she just put on the bra and let her breasts sink into the poo.

Getting to her feet, she retrieved her heavily-loaded panties from the toilet, and stepped into them. This time she did not care about getting poo on her legs, and she pulled them straight up, the ridge of poo in the gusset slipping between her labia as she tugged her panties into place. She knew she should probably empty at least some of the poo out of the back of her panties, which were bulging hugely and sagging from the weight of it all, but she simply could not be bothered.

Paddling through the urine on the floor, she no longer took pains to avoid stepping in poo, and several squished up between her toes. She retrieved her dress, which was crawling with cockroaches, and dripping with a mixture of urine and brown mush, and put it on. Immediately she could feel her skin crawling inside the dress as the roaches swarmed all over her torso, and up and down her legs.

“Mia?” came Seth’s voice.

“Seth!” exclaimed Mia. “I’m so sorry – this place is just awful, and I’m afraid I’ve got disgustingly filthy…” She burst into tears again.

“Don’t worry about it,” said Seth soothingly. “Come out here, and I’ll get you home. I’ve called my dad – he’ll pick us up.”

“No!” said Mia urgently. “Seth, I’m all gross and I stink – I can’t let your father see me like this!”

“He’ll be cool about it – trust me,” said Seth. “Now come on out and let’s see the damage.”

Reluctantly, Mia went to the door and opened it. “Jesus Christ!” exclaimed Seth as he saw the state of the room. He stared in horror at the floor, then at the toilet. “That … is the most disgusting toilet in the world!”

Mia nodded gloomily. “Yes, and I fell down in all that stuff.”

“Yeah, it looks like it,” said Seth, looking her up and down. He took a step backwards, and put his hand over his nose. “Get your shoes on, then – it won’t be long before Dad gets here.”

Mia cleaned her feet as well as she could before putting the shoes on, but she could not avoid getting a little poo on (and inside) them. Then she sat down with Seth … or rather, she kneeled down a few feet away from where Seth was sitting. “I’m sorry I ruined our evening,” said Mia forlornly.

“Don’t worry about it,” said Seth. “I’m sorry your dress got ruined. Must have been expensive.”

Mia nodded. “Dad’ll be upset,” she said. “But he’ll get over it. I’m mostly just really bummed about missing the prom. But I suppose I’ll get another chance. I’m really sorry, Seth – this is your senior prom – I feel awful!”

“Don’t sweat it, seriously,” said Seth. “Maybe you could invite me next year.”

Mia brightened. “I could!” she said. “You think we’ll still be together?” The thought that Seth was probably completely disgusted with her right now filled her with dread. “Will we still be together tomorrow?”

Seth chuckled. “Of course,” he said. “I wouldn’t have suggested you invite me to next year’s prom if I’d been planning to dump you, would I?”

“I suppose not,” she replied, relieved. She glanced down and noticed the fat tip of one of the turds in her right bra cup – it was threatening to peep out of the neckline of her dress. She hastily tugged her dress up to conceal the turd more effectively, and hoped Seth had not seen it. Then she grimaced as she felt maggots writhing around just inside her vaginal opening. “God, I can’t wait to get home and clean!”

“I’ll just call Dad,” said Seth. “I’d better warn him about the smell and mess.”

He did so, and then a few minutes later, got to his feet. “Here he is,” he said, pointing toward a car that was pulling into the gas station.

Mia stood up too. As she walked slowly towards the car, she realised that her bowels were not quite empty. Figuring that it would make no difference, she relaxed her anus as she walked, and pushed out a long, slim turd, which curled up between and behind her buttocks. Seth, reaching the car first, opened the back door for her, and smiled at her as she climbed in. The seat was covered in newspapers. Mia sat down, and shuddered as her poo squelched around her buttocks and labia.

“Whew!” exclaimed Seth’s father, Joel. “You weren’t kidding, were you Seth?” He lowered all of the windows and turned up the fan to full blast. “A night to remember, eh kids?”

“You could say that,” said Seth.

Mia shivered as her pussy settled further into her poo. She did not think she would forget this experience for a long, long time…


THE END


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