Dear Arthur,
You’re so sweet … thank you for your support and encouraging words! Sometimes I do get a little down about it all, like “what the hell am I doing??” But it’s a lot of fun and since Denis seems to be enjoying it too, why not??? At least, it’s mostly fun … sometimes not, as you will see.
Okay, on with the update…
Monday, 8th of December, 2008
Woke up not very full at all, and I knew today wouldn’t be an accident day. But that doesn’t always mean a boring day! I ran Denis’s program:
Skirt: tartan, 0”
Panties: pale pink lace
A sexy little outfit, if I do say so myself! This is the first time that I have worn my schoolgirl skirt, and so I decided that I should go “all out” and complete the outfit with a white blouse, a tie, and a navy blue jumper (cold outside!) With the jumper I figured I wouldn’t need a coat. I’m not supposed to wear a coat with this skirt unless it’s cold, which it was today! But I was all right, though my legs did get rather cold!
Judging by the number of hands I felt on me during my tube journey, I guessed that Josh had brought his friend again … and my theory was confirmed when they BOTH joined me in the gents’ toilet! They didn’t make me take off my clothes … thank goodness!! … but they both fucked me, one after the other, while I was bending over the toilet. Josh’s friend wore a condom, though … I could hear him putting it on.
Work was okay … lots of flashing, and everybody loved my outfit. Even Neil seemed to enjoy eyeing me up, though he pushed me away when I tried to sit on his lap, just for fun. Andy and Steve both fingered me several times. Mickey fingered me for the first time, too, which wasn’t at all pleasant … he was leering right in my face as he did it, like he owned me or something. He’s just an all-round creep! But that’s not going to stop me letting him play with my vagina … what does that say about me???
Tuesday, 9th of December, 2008
Woke up feeling very full!
Dress: pale pink, 2”
Panties: white cotton
Really cold today but I was very good and wore a thick jumper over my dress so that I could show off my legs. People must have thought I was crazy, not wearing a coat! Josh and his friend did their best to keep me warm, although their hands were unpleasantly cold! This time they did ask me to strip naked in the toilet, which I did although I was freezing. But they got creative, and both of them fucked me at the same time! They had brought Vaseline or something, for the anal part. I closed my eyes while Josh got his dick inside me from the front, then his friend stuck his lubed-up dick up my anus. It was kind of awkward … there wasn’t room for it, really, in the little toilet stall! But it was fun anyway, although I was feeling so full that I felt bad for Josh’s friend … I’m sure his dick must have been poking into my poo! Except he was probably wearing a condom again, though this time I didn’t hear him put it on.
Anyway, I told Denis about it when I got to work. He was so excited by the idea that he took me into the bathroom and fucked me! That was very nice! We hadn’t had sex in like four or five days, so it was good to see him that horny for me.
Mickey’s got the idea that he can give me instructions, now, and I’ll follow them. Probably because whenever he gives me instructions, I follow them! Heehee! Of course, he only thinks he’s in control, but really, if he asked me to do something I didn’t want to do, I totally wouldn’t do it. But so far his instructions have been limited to pulling my dress up, or spreading my legs, or bending over … stuff like that, which of course I’m happy to do. Anyway, of course, once I’ve spread my legs for Mickey, naturally he feels entitled to get his fingers inside me, though he got a bit of a shock the first time this morning when his fingers came out with sperm on them! He no doubt thought it was Denis’s, but I suppose it must have been a mixture of Denis’s and Josh’s.
Andy and Steve fingered me too. Boff often slips his hand inside my blouse, if I’m wearing one, but today he just massaged my breasts through my jumper while I was working at my desk. I don’t mind it when Boff does stuff like that, because at least he engages me in conversation while he’s doing it … and he’s a funny chap, always making me laugh. I kind of have the hots for him actually! (Sorry Denis!)
I was feeling SO full by lunchtime that I really thought I would lose it on my way to the deli. But in fact I made it back, and it wasn’t until 1:55 that I finally lost control. Denis had me take off my jumper, dress and bra (why my bra too? No idea, and I didn’t ask!) and then I had to get on Boff’s lap again. Of course Boff played with my breasts, and Steve fingered my pussy while everyone watched. Austen wasn’t there today, which was a relief, because I produced the BIGGEST load EVER, Arthur!! I just kept on pooing and pooing, and I really filled up those white cotton panties I can tell you! Now I know what they mean by a “melon-sized” bulge!
Everyone was so impressed with it that they all agreed when Denis suggested I keep my messy panties on for the rest of the day. Well, almost everyone … I don’t think Andy or Mickey were too thrilled. From that point on they just played with my breasts … they wouldn’t go near my panties! I measured the bulge … just one inch, but remember that I was wearing a dress with a Hemline Value of 2 inches!
When five o’clock came around, I was about to go to the toilet to empty my panties, but Denis said “Where are you going?” and I told him, and he said “You agreed to wear them for the rest of the day!” And I was flabbergasted … I didn’t imagine he meant me to wear them home! I pleaded with him, because I was afraid I’d get arrested again, and I told him that, but he just said I wasn’t dressed indecently and I could always claim it was an accident!
So I found myself leaving work with this MASSIVE bulge in my panties, not properly covered by my dress, and it smelled awful! I was a bundle of nerves as I got on the train with my dress pulled down at the back as much as possible! People were staring at me, and covering their noses … I was unbelievably embarrassed! Two people, both women, asked me if I’d had an accident, and I told them yes and I apologised profusely!! One was REALLY nasty about it … she made me cry. Fortunately this other woman told her to leave me alone.
God, that was an awful journey! The bus was a little better … I just huddled in a corner on the upper deck, and although I got some nasty looks, nobody said anything to me. I was glad to get off at my stop though! When I got home, I was shaking like a leaf! I was so relieved not to get arrested! Anyway I weighed my poo, and Arthur, it was a new record!!! 1.87 kg (4.1 lbs)!!! Woo hoo, I broke the 4 lb mark … I feel so proud!!! Heehee!
Wednesday, 10th of December, 2008
OH … SHIT!!!! That’s a good way to describe today. Not because there was any actual shit involved, because there wasn’t. But something happened … oh God! Well, I’ll start from the beginning.
Dress: pink and pale yellow, 1”
Panties: pale blue silk
Not the best colour combination, but oh well. Today I wore my winter coat … yesterday was exciting enough, and I felt like a quieter day! Anyway, it was only Josh today, and this time we had sex face to face, and I French-kissed him while he was fucking me. It was very nice! He told me he wanted to get me pregnant. I didn’t tell him about being on the pill because I didn’t want to disillusion him … I just told him I’d love to have his baby! I was lying of course … that would be terrible! But it was quite exciting to say, in the moment.
Anyway, I got to work, and immediately started flashing my panties around the place. Then I sat on Boff’s lap while we chatted … and he put his hand in my panties! I was very excited by this … I’d been wanting Boff to do this for ages … and I spread my legs a little wider for him. Then he got his finger in me, and I kissed him! On the lips! He looked really surprised, and pushed me away a bit … but then he said, “I’m going to the bathroom.”
What is it with men and bathrooms?? Well, I suppose it is the most private part of the office… But anyway … I guessed that he meant me to follow him, and I did!! When I got inside the bathroom, he locked the door, and then he started kissing me! I was almost delirious with excitement, and I was ALL over him, Arthur! In next to no time, he had me out of my clothes, and lying on the floor, and then he was fucking me! I don’t want to say too much about it, because it’s become a VERY sensitive subject, but suffice to say that he came inside me and it was very intense.
Boff left first, and I waited a couple of minutes so it wouldn’t look suspicious. But it was no good! Suddenly Denis walked in, and he looked really upset! He demanded to know if I’d had sex with Boff, and of course I couldn’t deny it. I was a bit surprised that he was so upset about it, but apparently my colleagues are supposed to be off limits for fucking! Well, nice of Denis to tell me about that little rule in advance … NOT! Okay, sorry Denis, I suppose I should have asked first … but it was Boff, and it happened so suddenly…
Anyway … Denis sent me home! I thought I was sacked, to be honest. I spent the whole day fretting about it. I called Denis a few times, but he didn’t want to talk to me. I wanted to call Boff, but I thought that might be a bad idea.
So Denis arrived home and, well it was very uncomfortable. I asked him if I was sacked, and he said he would have to think about it. I asked him if he wanted to talk about it, and he said “not right now”. I felt pretty full by now, but in no mood for accidents, so I went to the toilet. I almost didn’t save it and weigh it, but I do like to keep my records complete, you know. So I weighed it, and actually it was quite a lot … 1.53 kg (3.4 lbs).
Thursday, 11th of December, 2008
Skirt: pale purple with blue designs, 24”
Panties: white silk
No accident today, and not much action of any kind actually. Josh started to feel me up, but I said “Not today Josh”, and he left me alone. My colleagues left me alone too, for the most part, aside from Mickey who doesn’t take hints very well. I fended him off for the most part, and the long dress helped, but he grabbed my bottom and breasts through my clothing whenever I was off guard.
Denis was pretty much giving me the silent treatment, but I saw him watching me a few times, and I think he approved that I was fending people off. I said hi to Boff, but for the most part we steered well clear of each other.
Friday, 12th of December, 2008
Skirt: mauve, 1”
Panties: pale green satin
I let Josh finger me, but declined his invitation to go to the toilet with him. I didn’t explain, so he must be wondering what’s up, but I can’t worry about that right now.
I knew today was going to be an accident day, but I figured I would let Denis decide how to play it. But something happened mid-morning that REALLY freaked me out, and I’m still recovering from it.
Mickey was being a pest, as usual, and I was trying to fend him off. But then, when I was leaving the toilet at about ten o’clock, Mickey was there, and he pushed me back in! I asked him what the hell he was doing, and he locked the door! Then he really went for me! Arthur, I was so scared … I thought he was going to rape me! I might have let him, actually, if it hadn’t been for the incident with Boff. I thought if I let Mickey have me, Denis would be furious with me and might even divorce me!
So … I fought back. It was a surreal experience, Arthur! For one thing, I couldn’t believe that Mickey was actually doing this … jeopardising his entire career, and freedom! And on the other hand I was genuinely frightened that he would hurt me. At one point I managed to smack him in the face, but he grabbed my wrist and gave my arm such a wrench that I thought he might have dislocated my shoulder!
God … I can’t even believe I’m sharing this with you, Arthur. It was a complete nightmare … but in one sense it feels good to unburden myself. I’m really shaking right now, just thinking about it. You know, I’ve fantasised about being raped … but this wasn’t like the fantasy at all. And it’s not like I’m foolish enough to think that it’s EVER like the fantasy … but I wasn’t prepared for just how horrible it feels to be overpowered, to have a man intent on fucking me who has NO regard for me whatsoever, who just wants to brutalise me … it’s hardly describable. Arthur, I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
So, long story short, he got my panties down, and he got both his knees between my legs so I couldn’t close them … and he ripped my blouse open, and was working on ripping my bra off … when there was this BANG, and the door burst open. And there was Boff.
I felt very relieved to see Boff, but also, in a way, disappointed that it wasn’t Denis. I wanted to be rescued, but I was immediately worried that if Boff rescued me instead of Denis, it would make Denis even angrier at me and Boff.
To a certain extent I was right, but what happened next was just unreal. Denis came in, and pulled Boff back just as Boff was reaching down to grab Mickey! I think Denis said something like, “I’ll handle this”, and he pushed Boff out of the room. Boff said something like, “For God’s sake, man, help your wife!” But Denis closed the door, and just watched!!
Mickey had half got up when Boff and Denis came in, but then he realised Denis wasn’t going to help me, and he started attacking me again! He ripped my bra open, and got my panties all the way off, and then he fumbled at his trousers, no doubt to get his dick out!
Well, by this time of course I realised that Denis wanted Mickey to rape me, and that made me really upset! I was in floods of tears, and I gave up struggling, and at that point I just wanted to get it over with.
But then Boff came back. Denis tried to push him out, but he’s really no match for Boff, who’s huge. Boff pulled Mickey off me, and threw him across the room! Then he helped me up, and I ran out, leaving my panties behind and pulling my skirt down and holding my blouse together. I sat down at my desk and cried, and Neil came and asked me what the hell was going on. I couldn’t speak, so he just put his arm around me while the others came back from the bathroom. Then Neil demanded answers from them.
Denis said he would explain, and he went with Neil into Neil’s office. Boff went too. I had more than half a mind to go home, but I REALLY wanted to hear what Denis had to say for himself. By this time I was getting pretty angry at him for not stopping Mickey.
Mickey came over to apologise! I couldn’t believe the nerve of the guy! But then … guess what? Arthur, he said that he had asked Denis’s permission!!!! I screamed at him to fuck off, but I was just seething with rage now. I couldn’t believe Denis had told Mickey he could rape me!
As it turned out, that’s not QUITE what Denis had told Mickey. Apparently Mickey had asked Denis if he could have sex with me too, since I’d had sex with Boff. And here Denis’s double-standards come into play … he’s all pissed off about my having sex with Boff, but apparently he’s quite happy for me to have sex with Mickey. No doubt because he knows I don’t like Mickey. He’s more threatened by Boff, who I do like a lot.
Anyway, I managed to pull myself together a bit while Boff and Denis and Neil were talking. I told myself that I hadn’t actually been raped, so there was no harm done. I almost convinced myself, too … but the painful fact was that my arm was hurting, and so were my bottom and legs where my panties had dug into them as Mickey pulled them down. Also my chest, and my side. But my arm hurt the most. I didn’t look at Mickey as he went back to his desk and sat down, but I was determined that he wouldn’t get away with this. At the very least I wanted him sacked … but if Denis had actually given him permission, how could he justify sacking him?
After a while, Denis came out, and he took me home. Neither of us said much in the car, but at home we really had it out. Apparently he had told Mickey that he could have sex with me, but he had definitely not said that Mickey could rape me. On the other hand, when he saw Mickey raping me, he was actually quite excited by the sight, and wanted it to happen. He thought that it would be a fitting punishment for me for having sex with Boff.
This is what bothers me the most … that Denis could actually want to see me hurt … but he swears that he didn’t think Mickey was hurting me, just forcing me … and he thought that I could handle it. He knows that I’ve fantasised about being raped, and he knows that I’ll let just about anyone have sex with me under the right circumstances, so he figured that I’d be okay (if not immediately, then eventually) with Mickey raping me.
I explained to Denis, keeping myself remarkably in control though I was horribly upset, that it was NEVER okay to let another man rape me, and that it had been a horrible experience for me. And Denis apologised … very deeply and humbly … and he said he would do anything to make it up to me. He said that if I wanted to quit my job, that would be fine.
But I don’t really want to quit my job! On the whole, I love it there! I told Denis that I wanted him to sack Mickey … and Denis agreed immediately. He called Neil, and it was done … Mickey’s gone.
So I feel just a little better now. I’m still really traumatised, though I’m trying not to think about it too much. But it feels good that punishment has been dealt. I’d feel even better if Mickey went to prison over this, but as Denis has pointed out, there are a lot of things that would come out into the open if this went to court … things that I really don’t want out in the open! If I never see Mickey again, that will be enough, I think. It will have to be.
Another thing Denis said was that he had overreacted with regard to Boff! He said that if I want to have sex with Boff, I can … but only in the office. He doesn’t want me running off to Boff’s place with him, or the two of us going to a hotel, or something. I suppose I can understand that, but on the whole, I think it’s probably best if I avoid having sex with Boff. It’s Denis’s guilt talking … he really doesn’t want me having sex with Boff at all.
Oh, one other thing … I lost control at 2:08 this afternoon. I was all tucked up in bed, and feeling rather low, at the time … and it wasn’t all that warm in the house … and I didn’t feel very much like getting up and going to the bathroom … just I just did it in my panties! In bed! I knew it would annoy Denis, under normal circumstances, but on this occasion I figured he would just have to deal with it! I knew he wouldn’t tell me off, after everything that had happened.
I must admit it felt kind of nice to do a nice big poo in my panties while lying snug in bed! I even fell asleep afterwards. I got up at about five-thirty and emptied it out … 1.4 kg (3.1 lbs) this time. I changed the sheets.
So that’s it for another week. Strange end to the week, I know, and I’ve no idea what’s going to happen next week. But I hope you’ve enjoyed hearing about it … although I’m sorry if the whole attempted rape thing is upsetting for you. It certainly was for me, but it feels good to tell someone else about it. I’d be interested to hear your thoughts on the subject.