“Ugh!” said Sammi Loftus, slapping her desk in frustration as her computer froze up for the third time that morning. “Stupid machine!” The pretty brunette pressed in the power button, and held it until the computer switched itself off. Immediately she switched it back on again, and the fans whirred back into life before they had even had a chance to stop. “Jo! When’s Ken next coming in?”
“When he can!” said Jo Vickers, trying not to sound as irritated as she felt. The office’s computer problems were getting worse, she knew, but as the manager she had to be careful about incurring unnecessary expenses. Her husband was more useful with computers than any of her staff (or herself), but it was difficult to get him into the office as often as she would like. “He’s very busy at the moment with his own job. You’ll just have to muddle through in the meantime.”
“What we need is a proper IT guy,” said Simone Taylor, looking up from her own computer, which had mercifully behaved itself very well since she had come into the office two hours ago. The oldest member of the team at thirty-eight, she was inclined to be more laid-back about computer woes than the others – possibly as a result of her regular yoga sessions on Thursdays. Nonetheless, she recognised the need as well as any of her colleagues.
“We can’t afford one!” said Jo with the tired air of someone who was very used to repeating this refrain. She flicked her long blonde hair out of her face. “I had to struggle to get approval for a replacement for Janice.”
“A position you have yet to fill,” Simone reminded her.
“Finding good people at the wage we offer isn’t easy!” said Jo. “I don’t want another Vinnie … or another Wanda.”
“I should hope not!” said Heidi Fenwick, a dark-haired beauty in her mid-twenties. “My goodness, they were useless.”
“Keen though,” said Sammi.
There was a snort from the far corner of the room, where Lily Byron was busy reorganising one of the filing cabinets. The curvaceous thirty-year-old was the most recent addition to the office, but she was a hard worker and did not appreciate idleness in others. “Keen on the internet!” she said. “Wanda spent half her day on Facebook. And Vinnie … well, you know what he liked to do.”
“Yes, well, they were young,” said Jo, pursing her lips. “I won’t make that mistake again.”
“What does it matter how old they are?” asked Heidi. “A good work ethic isn’t restricted to people over thirty!”
“That’s very true,” said Jo, backtracking immediately.
“Can we get back to the point?” asked Simone. “What I think is that you should hire someone to replace Janice who can do all of the administrative stuff and act as our IT support person.”
“But then we’d have to offer them more money,” began Jo, “and…”
“Why should we?” said Simone. “It’s not like we’re asking for an ultra-clever technical wizard. We just need someone who knows more about computers than we do … which, to be frank, isn’t saying much!”
“In other words, we need a man,” said Jo.
“Jo!” exclaimed Heidi, shocked. “I can’t believe you said that! There are plenty of IT-savvy women out there, you know!”
“Yes, yes,” said Jo, waving her hand with a sigh. “I know. But let’s face it, if we offer the position as IT-related, we’re bound to get a lot more male applicants than female applicants. It’s not right, but it’s unfortunately true.”
“It was still a terribly sexist thing to say,” said Heidi sternly. “Plenty of men are IT-ignorant, and plenty of women are IT-savvy. We might get more male applicants than female, but that doesn’t mean we’ll necessarily end up with a man in the position. It could easily be a woman!”
“Okay, okay!” said Jo. “I take it back. Really I was just grousing about the fact that it’ll probably be a man.”
“Well, I don’t see what difference it makes,” said Heidi. “Man or woman – if they can get our computers back in working order, I don’t care.”
“I just don’t particularly want another man around here!” said Jo.
“Whyever not?” inquired Simone. “I thought it was a refreshing change to have a male perspective when Vinnie was here.”
“But he kept leaving the seat up!” burst out Jo.
The other women stared at her for a second, then burst out laughing. Jo could be terribly uptight about matters of hygiene and tidiness.
“True,” agreed Heidi. “But I think we were close to breaking him of that habit by the time he … left.”
“You mean, by the time Jo sacked him for downloading porn off the internet,” said Lily with a chuckle.
Jo sighed. “I might have let it slide if only he’d been doing a good job,” she said. “But honestly – he was just plain lazy.”
“Vinnie’s porn habits aside,” said Simone, “I really think it would be a good idea to list some IT skills as part of the job description.”
“All right,” said Jo. “We’ll give it a try.”
*************************************
Two weeks later, they had received several applications. Jo tossed out several of them after only a cursory reading of their CVs, leaving four which she considered as having potential. At Simone’s suggestion she did not reply to any of them, but waited for them to call her. This went against the grain, and she fretted that none of them would follow up, but Simone turned out to be right: within two days, three of the applicants had called to ask if Jo had received their CVs. She set up interviews, and on a fine Wednesday morning in mid-April, the first one showed up.
It was a man in his fifties, and he was not only a pleasant and engaging character, he was also eminently qualified for the position. Perhaps over-qualified.
“How much?” he said, his eyes wide.
Jo had been afraid of this reaction. “Robin, you are aware that this is a charity?”
“Well yes, but…”
“We are none of us earning anything like as much as we could in the commercial arena,” continued Jo. “We do this because we believe it matters. We believe that we make a difference. Our wages are only partly in money, you know…”
“Yes, but I’m sorry,” said Robin. “I just can’t afford to earn that little. I still have a mortgage to pay off.”
“Then I’m sorry to have wasted your time,” said Jo with a sigh.
“Me too,” said Robin, getting to his feet.
Jo showed him out. An hour later, candidate number two arrived. This was a smug-looking young woman in her early thirties. She rubbed Jo up the wrong way from the beginning of the interview, and long before its end, Jo had decided she would rather hire a rat from the sewers.
“Good grief!” she said, after the woman had left. “What a detestable woman. Do you know, she actually had the gall to answer her mobile phone in the middle of the interview?”
“She didn’t!” said Sammi.
“Yes! And she actually said to the person she was speaking to: ‘Yeah, this interview is going great, they’d be stupid not to hire me’. Those exact words! Pretty much.”
“What a twat!” said Heidi.
Jo nodded. “I hope the next one’s better.”
“I think this might be him now,” said Sammi, looking out of the window.
“Looks all right,” said Heidi.
Candidate number three, Gordon Roper, was tall, young, and clean-cut. He looked a little apprehensive as he entered and saw five women all staring at him. “Um, I’m here about the job?” he said.
“Yes, hello, I’m Jo Vickers,” said Jo, walking over to him and shaking his hand. “If you would like to follow me to my office please?”
“Yes, certainly,” said Gordon, almost tripping as he dodged around the printer and nearly ran into Lily. He followed a few feet behind Jo as she entered her office.
Sitting down behind her desk, Jo smiled at Gordon as he closed the door and sat down a little clumsily in a chair facing her. She picked up his CV and scanned through it again. “So, why do you want to work here?” she asked.
“Honestly,” said Gordon, “I really need work, and from the description in the ad it looked like something I could do.”
This amused Jo. “No particular desire to make a difference, then? To do some good for your community?”
“Well, that’s a plus,” admitted Gordon. “I like the fact that this is a charity, and that I’d be helping people, albeit indirectly. But I wouldn’t take a job based on that reason – I have to believe I’ll enjoy the work.”
“That’s very honest of you,” said Jo, impressed despite herself. “You realise, though, that we can’t offer the kind of wages you’re probably used to.”
“My needs are few,” said Gordon. “I … um … still live with my parents, you see…”
“Really? At…” Jo glanced at the CV again. “Twenty-seven years old? Why is that?”
“Just never got around to moving out,” said Gordon, looking very uncomfortable.
Jo smiled. “Well, that’s not my business,” she said. “Let’s see – you say you have ‘exceptional skills with Microsoft Excel’. In what way are your skills exceptional?”
“I can make Excel do things you are probably not aware it is even capable of,” said Gordon. “Not that I want to make any assumptions about your own skills, of course…”
“What sort of things?” asked Jo.
“Give me a nice big chunk of raw data,” said Gordon, “and I can turn it into anything you like. It’s hard to describe without demonstrating, but perhaps I can give you an example.”
“Please do,” said Jo.
“Well, recently I worked at a factory where the company mainframe was regularly updated with readings from all of the instruments used in the manufacturing process. One of my colleagues used a horrendous series of calculations, using about five different spreadsheets and a bunch of printed tables, to figure out what adjustments needed to be made to the vessel pressures, tank levels and so on. It was a nightmarish process that took him an entire morning, once a week. And he was the expert! So, having learned the logical steps that he followed throughout this process, I set up a new spreadsheet and programmed it to import the necessary raw data and produce the required answers, all at the touch of a button. The program took just ten minutes to run, and now all he does is set it going, go and make a cup of tea, have a chat with his colleagues, and when he gets back to his computer it’s all done.”
“That sounds very impressive!” said Jo. “But we don’t have anything like that here…”
“You don’t have any long-winded and tedious manual processes?” asked Gordon. “You’d be the first company I’ve come across that doesn’t.”
“I meant that we don’t have instruments and vessels and so on,” said Jo. “But yes, I suppose we do have some lengthy manual processes … though I’m not sure what you could do about them.”
“Give me a chance, and I’ll show you,” said Gordon with a smile.
Jo returned the smile. She was sure she had found a winner in this young man. Just one final question, though: “You don’t seem to stick around in the same job for very long,” she said. “Your last job, for instance – you were only there for three weeks. Why was that?”
Gordon looked troubled. “Ah,” he said. “Well, unfortunately I was sacked for touching one of my female colleagues.”
Jo was startled by his candour. “Touching … inappropriately?”
“Yes,” said Gordon. “And … I have to be honest with you … it wasn’t the first time.”
Jo’s heart sank. “What are you saying – that you’re some sort of serial groper?”
Gordon cleared his throat uneasily. “It’s a compulsion,” he said. “If I see the opportunity – I just can’t help myself. I can’t resist. I just have to reach out and touch…” He sighed and shrugged. “I suppose this means the interview’s over.”
Jo was perplexed. “Have you seen a psychiatrist about it?” she inquired.
“Yes,” said Gordon. “But I only attended a couple of sessions – I couldn’t afford any more. The guy wasn’t helping much, anyway … he wanted to know all about my childhood and my relationship with my parents…”
“Isn’t that kind of thing usually at the bottom of such … urges?” asked Jo.
“Maybe,” replied Gordon. “I don’t know. But really, I had a very ordinary childhood. I couldn’t think of anything that came close to explaining why I feel compelled to … do what I do.”
“But … haven’t you got into trouble with the police?”
“Not so far,” said Gordon. He sighed, seeming frustrated. “The thing is … people like me! I get on well with colleagues, and fit well into a team. And when I touch a woman, usually it’s a woman that I like, and who likes me … and sometimes I even get away with it. But at other times a complaint will be made, and I’ll lose my job. Nobody’s ever involved the police, though. I suppose I’ve been lucky.”
Jo shook her head in bafflement. She could not help liking Gordon – he seemed such a nice young man – but his self-confessed groping compulsion was not a character trait best suited to an office full of women. “Well, thank you for coming in,” she said. “And thank you for your honesty.”
Gordon smiled ruefully. “A lot of good it does me,” he said, “but thank you.”
She showed him out, and then turned to face the expectant faces of her staff. “He’s perfect!” she said. “Except for one thing – he gropes women.”
They stared at her. “He does what?” asked Sammi, thinking she must have misheard.
“He told you that?” asked Heidi incredulously.
“It was the reason he was let go from his last job,” said Jo. “And probably several of his other jobs. He reckons it’s a compulsion – he can’t help himself.”
“Wow,” said Lily. “I can’t believe he actually told you he gropes women – that’s just bizarre.”
“It’s such a shame!” said Jo. “Aside from that one thing, he would be great. I do actually feel quite sorry for him – he seems genuinely frustrated at this thing which he can’t control. And he’s really very likeable.”
“It sounds like you want to hire him, despite his penchant for groping!” said Lily.
Jo sighed. “If he could just be cured of his compulsion, I have a hunch he’d be a model employee, so yes, part of me does want to hire him.”
“Then hire him!” said Simone. “I don’t know about you ladies, but I can take care of myself. There’s no way I’d let him grope me!”
“Nor me,” said Heidi. “But I don’t want to be looking over my shoulder every few seconds to make sure he’s not sneaking up on me.”
“I don’t think he’d do that,” said Jo.
“How do you know?” asked Lily. “You spent just ten minutes with the man!”
“He just … I liked him!” said Jo. “He’s very open and honest – I really don’t think he’d be sneaky about anything.”
“Well if you’re seriously considering hiring him,” said Simone, “then I think you should ask him back for a second interview, so that we can all meet him and see what he’s like.”
Jo looked around at her staff. “Would you all be okay with that?”
“Well I don’t know!” said Sammi. “Is he going to try and grope me?”
“In a job interview?” said Lily. “He’d have to be crazy.”
“Nevertheless you should probably keep your distance, just to be on the safe side,” said Jo.
Sammi shrugged. “Well I’ve no objection to meeting him, just as long as it doesn’t mean we’re hiring him.”
“How about this,” said Jo. “If, after meeting him, any one of you decides that you don’t want him here, then I won’t hire him. Does that sound reasonable?”
“I’ll go along with that,” said Lily, and the others agreed.
“All right then,” said Jo. “I’ll set up a second interview.”
*************************************
Gordon was very surprised to be asked back. “Thank you so much for this opportunity,” he said to Jo as she led him into the conference room.
“Don’t thank me yet,” she said. “Gordon, I’d like you to meet my staff: Heidi, Simone, Lily, and Sammi.”
“How do you do?” he said to each of them, shaking their hands in turn.
They all sat down, the women watching Gordon apprehensively, as if he might leap over the table and grab their breasts at any moment. After five minutes, however, all had relaxed considerably.
“How would you handle a computer freezing up on you?” asked Sammi.
“Well, to begin with I’d power it off,” said Gordon. “Then I’d boot it back up and run some diagnostics to see if I could figure out what went wrong. The graphics card driver might need reinstalling, for example, so I’d take care of that. If I really couldn’t work out what went wrong, I’d probably reinstall everything from scratch. Nobody should have to put up with a computer that keeps crashing.”
Sammi smiled. “I agree!” she said, and the others laughed.
Then Simone addressed the topic which was on all of their minds, but which they had hitherto avoided. “Gordon, when you were last here you told Jo that you have a certain compulsion…”
“Yes,” said Gordon, hanging his head. “Unfortunately I do.”
“And is there no way you can control it?”
“I try!” said Gordon earnestly, looking up at her. “I really do. But then I … slip. And it’s really awful, because I love working with women and I value the friendships and working relationships I have had with former female colleagues. I can’t stand to see a woman, that I like and respect, look at me with that hurt expression as if I’ve just betrayed her trust … which of course I have done.” He shook his head sadly. “I’ve lost some really good friends through my stupid, stupid actions.”
Jo looked around at the expressions of rapt interest and sympathy on the faces of her staff members. She caught Lily’s eye, and raised her eyebrows as if to say, “You see?”
After she had shown Gordon out, she returned to the conference room. “So, what’s the verdict?” she asked.
“I thought he was rather sweet,” said Lily. “I see what you mean about him being likeable. There’s something quite disarming about him.”
“And he’d be great with the computers!” said Sammi.
“I almost feel like we should try to help him overcome his … compulsion,” said Simone. “Perhaps an office full of women is what he needs. Maybe, if we work together, we can cure him.”
“Having met him and talked with him,” said Heidi, “I have to say it’s hard to imagine him trying to grope me. I can see why his former colleagues felt so hurt and betrayed when he groped them – it must have come as quite a shock.”
“I wonder if he was as upfront about his groping habit with his former employers and colleagues,” said Lily.
“Doubtful,” said Jo. “Who would have hired him, knowing that stuff?”
“Most employers wouldn’t, though,” said Sammi. “But I’m glad he’s pre-warned us. At least now we can be on our guard. And if he does try anything…”
“Well quite,” said Jo. “We can sack him at any time if he misbehaves. We’d certainly have good cause!” She looked around at the nodding heads of her staff. “Well, shall we put it to the vote? All those in favour of hiring him?” All hands were raised. “Wow – okay. I’ll call him and give him the good news. He said he could start tomorrow, so Lily, if you wouldn’t mind setting up an account for him and getting him on the payroll…”
“Of course,” said Lily.
“Oh, and Lily … perhaps you could wear something a little more concealing tomorrow?” suggested Jo, glancing pointedly at Lily’s low-cut top and expansive cleavage.
Lily bridled. “I’m not going to change my dressing habits just to accommodate a new colleague, whatever his habits!” she said.
“Even on his first day?” pleaded Jo. “I just don’t want to tempt fate…”
“If he gropes me on his first day, he deserves not to have a second day!” said Lily. “I’m not going to frump up for any man, thank you!”
“All right,” said Jo, holding her hands up placatingly. “Never mind – I’m sorry I asked.”
“Did he actually say it was breasts that he groped?” inquired Sammi. “Maybe he prefers bottoms.”
“I didn’t think to ask for details,” said Jo wryly.
“Can I just raise a practical point?” said Simone.
“Of course,” said Jo.
“Let’s suppose he does grope one of us,” said Simone. “Suppose he gropes Sammi, for example. In theory, Sammi could successfully sue the company, since the company knew it was hiring a man with a history of groping.”
“Oh,” said Jo, looking worried. “I hadn’t thought of that. God, yes – I can’t possibly hire him now.”
“Oh but that’s absurd,” said Sammi impatiently. “I wouldn’t sue the company! What kind of person do you think I am!”
“I’m sure none of us would sue the company,” said Heidi. “We might insist that Gordon get the sack, but we wouldn’t sue.”
“That’s all very well,” said Jo, “but you might feel differently if you actually got groped. As a responsible manager I just can’t afford to take that chance.”
“What if we all signed a waiver?” suggested Simone. “Something to the effect that we promise not to sue the company if Gordon gropes us?”
Jo turned to Lily. “Would that work?”
Lily nodded. “Yes, that would work – would you like me to draw something up?”
“Would all of you be okay with signing such a document?” asked Jo.
“Sure,” said Heidi with a shrug.
“Me too,” said Sammi, and Simone also nodded her assent.
“Good!” said Jo. “That’s that settled, then. I’ll go and call Gordon, and give him the good news.”
*************************************
The following morning, the atmosphere in the office was a little tense as Gordon walked in and said hello to everyone. It was as if a lion had just arrived at the waterhole where several gazelles were drinking. As Gordon sat down at his desk, the women were all watching him out of the corner of their eye.
“Sammi,” said Jo, “perhaps you could show Gordon what you do? Your job is the most similar to his, after all.”
Sammi gulped nervously. “Okay,” she said.
Gordon smiled at her as he brought his chair over and sat down next to her. “Hi,” he said.
“Hi,” she replied, looking apprehensively at his large hands. Then she shook herself and looked up at the screen. “This is the Sales by Location report,” she said. “Basically what happens is that we get spreadsheet reports from each of our shops showing what they’ve sold in various categories and on what days. I plug those figures into the master spreadsheet and update the graphs on the ‘Graphs’ tab.”
“Hmm,” said Gordon. “And how long does all that take you?”
“Most of the morning,” said Sammi. “But I only have to do it once a week.”
“Would you like me to show you how you can do it in just a couple of minutes?” asked Gordon.
Sammi looked at him in surprise. “How?” she inquired.
Gordon smiled. “Well, actually I may be jumping the gun. The reports that you get from each of the shops – are they all in the same format?”
“God no – they come in all shapes and sizes,” said Sammi.
“Do you think we could develop a blank spreadsheet template that they could all use?” said Gordon. “If they’re all in the same format, then when they send them back to you, you would only need to hit a button, and your master spreadsheet would be updated automatically.”
“You could do that?” asked Sammi with wide eyes.
“Absolutely,” said Gordon.
They spent the next half hour developing the blank template, and Sammi emailed it out to all of the individual shops with a request that this template be used in future. “I’d better get on with entering the figures manually for this week, anyway,” she said. “Hopefully it’ll be the last time I do it like this!”
Gordon smiled. “Just email me the master spreadsheet and a copy of the template, and I’ll get to work on the coding,” he said.
“I will,” said Sammi. “Thanks!”
As Gordon swivelled his chair around and got to his feet, his right arm swung out a little wider than necessary, and his hand brushed the front of Sammi’s top. As he straightened up, his hand briefly cupped her right breast before continuing up over her shoulder. Her cheeks flushing, Sammi looked up at him, but he was already walking back towards his desk, dragging his chair behind him.
Sammi looked around at her colleagues. None of them had apparently seen anything. Well, she would let it pass, just this once. It had not been a bad grope, after all, as gropes went. Nevertheless, when she opened up a new email to Gordon and attached the two spreadsheets, she typed, “Gordon, please see attached. And don’t grope me again!”
His response was immediate. “Sammi, I’m so sorry! I’d have stopped and apologised straight away, but I didn’t want to make a scene and make you feel worse.”
She switched to instant messaging: “It’s your first day! God, you really can’t help yourself, can you?”
He replied, “Sometimes it’s easier to control myself than at other times. This time, your breasts looked so damn gorgeous that I couldn’t resist!”
Sammi felt flattered, despite herself. “Just don’t do it again!” she typed.
“I’ll try not to!” was his less-than-satisfactory response.
Sammi decided not to mention the incident to her colleagues. She could not be sure that Jo would not fire Gordon as a knee-jerk reaction, and she did not want that to happen … at least not yet. She loved the idea of being able to run her Sales by Location report at the touch of a button…
Midway through the morning, Lily frowned as she tried to select an email from her inbox. “What’s going on?” she muttered aloud.
“Problem?” asked Gordon, whose desk was close to hers.
“Yes, I can’t seem to unselect this stupid email,” said Lily. “When I click on another email, it selects a whole bunch of them.”
“May I take a look?” asked Gordon. “I might be able to help.”
“Please do!” said Lily. “This happened a couple of weeks ago, and I had to reboot.”
“That shouldn’t be necessary,” said Gordon, coming over.
Lily was acutely aware of the large amount of cleavage she was showing, as Gordon peered over her shoulder at the computer screen. “Look,” she said, demonstrating the problem.
“Looks like your shift lock is on,” said Gordon. He reached across in front of her and tapped her left shift key. “Try now.”
“That’s it!” said Lily, then she gasped as Gordon, withdrawing his hand, brushed his palm against her right breast. She looked up at him, frowning. “Hey!”
“Oh God, I’m sorry,” muttered Gordon. He retreated back to his desk.
Heidi had heard Lily’s exclamation, and she sent Lily a message: “Did he just grope you???”
Lily responded: “Yes! Just briefly, but it was definitely deliberate.”
Heidi: “He’s got some nerve! Are you going to tell Jo?”
Lily: “I don’t know. I’ll think about it. I’m not sure I’m ready to get him sacked, though.”
At lunchtime, Heidi was making a cup of tea when Gordon entered the room. “Hi Gordon,” she said, eyeing him cautiously.
“Hello Heidi,” said Gordon. He went over to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of milk. “Jo suggested I sit with you this afternoon – is that all right with you?”
“That depends,” said Heidi, somewhat sharply. “Are you going to try and grope me?”
Gordon sighed. “I’ll try not to!” he said. “I really will try.”
“Hmm,” said Heidi, turning her back on him. She was in the process of stirring her tea when she felt a hand cupping her left buttock. She gasped and turned to see a horrified-looking Gordon withdrawing his hand.
“I can’t believe I just did that!” he said. “I am so sorry, Heidi!”
“Jesus, Gordon!” she said exasperatedly. “Are we going to have to tie your hands behind your back?” She marched out of the room, her tea sloshing around in her mug and threatening to spill out.
By two o’clock, however, she was in much more forgiving mood, as he had showed her a shortcut in Excel that would save her at least an hour a day. “That’s brilliant, Gordon!” she enthused. “Thank you!”
“You’re welcome,” he replied, smiling. As he got up, just in time Heidi saw his hand approaching her breast, and she quickly deflected it with her own hand. “Behave, Gordon!” she hissed.
“I wasn’t,” he began, but then he sighed. “All right, yes, perhaps I was. I’m sorry.”
“Just go to your desk, and keep your hands to yourself,” she instructed him firmly.
He nodded, and returned to his desk. Heidi glanced to her right and saw Sammi looking at her quizzically. Then an instant message came in from Sammi: “Did he grope you?”
Heidi replied: “He was going for my breast, but I stopped him. I can see we’re going to have to keep a close eye on him!”
A little later it was Simone’s turn. Once again, Gordon found a way to save her some time, and Simone was grateful for it. While she was trying out his macro, however, she suddenly felt his hand cupping her right breast through her white blouse. “Stop that,” she murmured, and the hand was withdrawn.
A moment later, her phone rang, and she answered it. It was her sister, who wanted to relate a ghastly tale of woe that was her failing relationship with her current boyfriend. Poor Monica had never had much luck with men. So she listened, and listened, and while she was listening, she felt Gordon’s hand return to her breast. She nudged it away, but it returned a few moments later, and this time she just rolled her eyes, and ignored it.
Heidi happened to glance across at Simone, and her jaw dropped as she saw Gordon’s hand holding Simone’s breast. And Simone wasn’t doing anything about it! She was just chatting away on the phone as if nothing was wrong! She sent an instant message to Lily: “Look at Simone!”
Lily leaned to her left in order to look around her monitor, and her eyes widened as she saw what Heidi was seeing. She replied to Heidi: “The wench! She’s letting him do it!”
Heidi: “I know!”
By the time Simone put down her phone, Gordon was actively kneading and caressing her breast through her blouse. “All right Gordon,” she said, gently dislodging his hand. “You’ve had your fun – now stop it. I’m a married woman.”
“Sorry,” muttered Gordon. “And … thanks.”
Heidi messaged Sammi next: “Gordon just felt up Simone’s boob for like 5 minutes – and she let him!”
Sammi, who sat closest to Simone, had not seen the groping because Gordon’s body had obstructed the view. She gasped as she read Heidi’s message. “I can’t believe she’d do that!” she replied.
When Gordon had returned to his desk, Heidi, Lily and Sammi all messaged Simone:
“Just what was THAT all about?”
“You slut! ;)”
“Did you really just let Gordon grope you??”
Simone sighed and responded to all of them with the same message: “It just seemed like more effort to keep fending him off. I really wasn’t all that bothered by it – he seems harmless enough.”
“Groping is NOT harmless!”
“Well it’s your funeral if he doesn’t leave you alone from now on…”
“Wow! You naughty thing!”
Whatever other impact Gordon had made on the office and its staff, he had certainly livened up everybody’s day. Instant messages flew back and forth all afternoon, as the four women compared notes and discussed what they should do about Gordon. One thing was certain, though – none of them wanted to see him get the sack.
Sammi: “We mustn’t tell Jo!”
Heidi: “Right! Not until we want to get rid of him, anyway.”
Sammi: “What if he tries to grope her, though?”
Lily: “Something tells me he’s not going to try.”
Simone: “If he can’t control himself, will he really be able to avoid groping her?”
Lily: “Do you really believe he can’t control it?”
Simone: “Oh I think so, yes. I’m inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt, at least.”
Sammi: “Me too. Actually I think he’s quite sweet.”
Heidi: “Uh-oh! I think Sammi’s got a crush…”
Sammi: “I have not! I happen to be madly in love with Toby, thank you!”
Lily: “She’s just teasing, Sammi. But I know what you mean – he IS kind of sweet.”
Sammi got up to retrieve a report from the printer, which was located next to Gordon’s desk. She watched him warily as she passed him by, but he did not turn around. Then, to her disgust, she noticed that the printer had jammed up again. “Ugh!” she said. “Gordon, would you mind fixing the printer for me? I can never seem to get it working again once paper’s got stuck in it.”
“Certainly,” he said, getting up and coming around behind her to look at the printer.
Sammi grinned in amusement as she felt his hand on her buttock. “Gordon!” she whispered reprovingly.
“I’m sorry!” he whispered back, but instead of removing his hand, he actually gave her buttock a squeeze. “You’ve just got such a lovely bottom – how could I resist?” He continued to stroke and knead her buttock.
“If you don’t stop, I’ll tell Jo!” she hissed. “I mean it!”
This time he stopped. “Thanks,” he murmured. “Sometimes I just need the fear of retribution to get me to behave myself.”
Sammi chuckled. “Don’t mention it!” she said.
He fixed the printer, and Sammi returned to her desk, feeling a little flushed. She immediately messaged Heidi: “Well it seems he’s not just a breast man! He just fondled my arse at the printer!”
Heidi: “I saw! And you were enjoying it!”
Sammi: “I wasn’t! I told him to stop!”
Heidi: “You were grinning from ear to ear!”
Sammi: “Only because I thought it was kind of funny. Doesn’t mean I was enjoying it!”
Heidi: “If you say so…”
At the end of the day, Gordon was the first to leave. Jo called the rest of her staff into her office, and said, “Well? What’s the verdict? Is he going to work out?”
“Well I think he’s great,” said Sammi immediately. “He’s a wiz with Excel and he’s going to save me a lot of time.”
Simone nodded. “Yes, he’s certainly made a very good start. He’s got some useful skills, and, well, I like him.”
“I like him too,” agreed Heidi. “I think he’s a great person to have around the office … if we can cure him of his bad habits…”
“Has he touched any of you?” asked Jo sharply.
“No!” said Sammi, a little too forcefully.
Jo looked at her in surprise. “Well okay then. Anyone else?”
“He’s been pretty well-behaved,” said Heidi, not quite meeting Jo’s eye as she said this.
“Simone?”
“No complaints here,” said Simone, looking Jo right in the eye as she said it.
“Nor from me,” said Lily. “Don’t worry – we’ll keep an eye on him.”
“Good!” said Jo, pleased. “Excellent – well I’m very glad he’s working out. Let me know if he does touch any of you, won’t you?”
“Certainly,” said Simone.
“Okay, well, goodnight all of you.”
*************************************
The next day, almost the entire morning passed without anybody getting groped by Gordon. Sammi found herself hoping he would try something, just so that she would have something to gossip about on instant messenger. But alas, nobody had any computer problems, so Gordon did not have an excuse to come into contact with any of the women. Sammi, who did not have much work to do, was getting rather bored.
Then, at half past eleven, her heart started pounding as her screen froze up. “Gordon!” she said. “My computer’s locked up – could you help me please?”
As he came around behind her, the other women were all watching curiously. She glared at each of them, and one by one they turned back to their own computers. Then, as Gordon leaned over her shoulder and took hold of her mouse with his right hand, with his left he reached around her other side and grasped her left breast.
“Gordon…” she said softly, but he did not remove his hand.
“Yup, we’ll have to reboot,” he said, while gently massaging her breast. He pressed in the power button on her computer, and waited for a few seconds until it powered off. He waited a few more seconds, then switched it on again. As he waited for the computer to boot up, he withdrew his right hand from the mouse and casually placed it on Sammi’s right breast.
“Stop that, Gordon,” said Sammi very quietly, but she did not attempt to push his hands away as they squeezed and fondled both of her breasts.
Heidi glanced over, and her eyes widened. She smirked as she looked back at her own screen in order to type an instant message to Lily and Simone: “You’ll never guess what Sammi’s letting Gordon do…”
Simone: “I can see.”
Lily: “Good grief – the girl’s shameless!”
Heidi: “And so’s he!”
Simone: “Perhaps we should just mind our business…?”
Heidi: “This IS our business! Thanks to you and Sammi, he’s getting bolder and bolder!”
Simone: “You’re just jealous because he hasn’t massaged your boobs yet.”
Lily: “LOL!”
Heidi: “Don’t be daft – I don’t want him massaging my boobs, thank you!”
Simone: “Well it’s not like it’s difficult to stop him. Just because Sammi’s letting him do it, doesn’t mean you have to.”
Heidi: “Well obviously. I just don’t think she should be encouraging him.”
Simone: “Oh, leave her be. Perhaps she’s enjoying it.”
Heidi: “She shouldn’t be! She has a boyfriend!”
Lily: “I’m guessing it’s not so much that she’s enjoying it, as that she’s curious and fascinated by his behaviour. I have to admit that I’m kind of intrigued myself. I’ve never met anyone quite like Gordon.”
Heidi: “Well don’t you start letting him grab you! I don’t want to be the only one keeping him in line.”
Lily: “Don’t worry – he won’t get far with me.”
Gordon, meanwhile, had let go of Sammi’s right breast in order to do some troubleshooting via the start menu. His left hand, however, was still squeezing her left breast, and she had stopped bothering to tell him to stop.
After five minutes, Gordon said, “I hate to say it, but I think we need to reinstall everything. Looks like you have some spyware which is causing problems. We need to get you all set up with some software to block that stuff.”
“You mean I have a virus?” asked Sammi.
Gordon let go of her left breast, then he slipped his hand down inside her top, his fingers sliding between her bra and her right breast. “Not a virus – but it’s almost as bad. Spyware is…”
“Gordon!” she hissed as his fingers found her nipple. “Get out of there!” She pushed up on his arm, and he withdrew it.
“Sorry,” he said, replacing his hand on her left breast, outside her clothing. She did not object, and he continued, “It basically reports back to the author all sorts of information about your machine and what you do with it. It also installs stuff without your permission, and I think that’s what is causing your problems. Microsoft has anti-spyware as part of Windows Vista, but since we only have XP here, we’ll have to download it ourselves. It’s not a big deal – I can take care of it. In the meantime, though, we’ll have to reinstall your software, so I’ll need to get my hands on all of the necessary installation disks.” He removed his hand from her breast. “I suppose Jo would be the person to see about that?”
Sammi nodded. “Yes, I’m pretty sure she has a bunch of CDs in her office.”
“Okay,” said Gordon. He headed off in the direction of Jo’s office.
Heidi: “Slut!”
Sammi: “Oh shut up. I stopped him when he put his hand inside my bra, at least!”
Heidi: “He did what???”
Sammi: “Only briefly! As I said, I stopped him.”
Heidi: “Still … what’s he going to do to ME next time I need him, now that you’ve let him feel you up for minutes on end???”
Sammi: “Just tell him you’ll report him to Jo – that works. He doesn’t want to lose his job.”
Heidi: “If it works, why didn’t YOU do that?”
Sammi: “Well I just wasn’t that bothered. Until he got his hand into my bra, anyway.”
Heidi was about to pen a reply, when a message popped up on her screen: ‘Microsoft Excel has encountered an error and needs to close’. “Gordon!” she said. “I’ve got an error here.”
As he came over, she looked up at him with a frown of warning. “Just don’t you try anything, okay?” she said.
He looked startled, but nodded. Leaning over her shoulder, he peered at the screen. “Is this spreadsheet saved?” he asked.
“Not recently,” she replied.
“Well, hopefully it’s auto-saved relatively recently,” said Gordon. He clicked “Ok” with Heidi’s mouse, then waited for Excel to reload. One auto-recovered file appeared in the pane at the left-hand side of the window, and he opened it. “You’ll need to save this over the top of the version you were working on,” he said. “Hopefully it’s got all of your most recent changes, but if not, there shouldn’t be too much to redo.”
“Thanks,” said Heidi, and as she watched him return to his desk, she was surprised to find that she was a little disappointed that he had not tried anything.
Sammi: “Well it looks like you put the fear of God into him!”
Heidi: “Yeah I suppose so.”
“Can you help me out with something, Gordon?” asked Lily.
Gordon came over, his eyes glued to Lily’s cleavage. “Sure – what do you need?” he asked.
“Is there a way of rounding all of these numbers down to whole numbers?” asked Lily. “If I reduce the decimal places, it rounds up, and in any case it’s just hiding the stuff after the decimal place instead of actually removing…” Her phone was ringing. “Just a second.”
As she talked on the phone, she was not very surprised when Gordon’s hand appeared in front of her left side, and latched on to her left breast. She leaned to her left a little and looked over at Simone, who was watching her with pursed lips and twinkling eyes. She grinned back, and decided to follow Simone’s example and simply let Gordon do his thing.
“Yes that’s right,” she said to the shop manager who had called her. “Well hang on – let me pull up your sales history.”
As she talked, she tried to ignore Gordon’s hand as it squeezed and stroked her breast through her jacket and top. After a couple of minutes she was succeeding pretty well … but then he reached further around and slipped his hand inside her jacket and into her top. He cupped her right breast through her bra, and she was so astonished by this that she had to ask her caller to repeat what she had just said.
“Yes, I’m all right,” she said. “I was just momentarily distracted. I apologise.”
Then Gordon’s fingers were slipping inside her bra, and soon his hand was holding her right breast. Holding, and squeezing, and caressing … and teasing her nipple between his fingers… She knew she ought to slap his hand away, but in truth, it was quite exciting to sit here and calmly get on with her job while her breast and nipple were being played with.
But then the phone call was over, and she considered how to deal with Gordon. He, however, spoke first.
“You can use a simple formula,” he said. “In the next column, just type ‘equals I-N-T, open brackets, G5, close brackets’, and hit Enter. Then double-click the bottom-right corner of the cell to copy the formula down the entire column.”
“Wait, hold on, say that again more slowly,” she said, fascinated by the fact that he was stroking her nipple with his finger while talking her through the process.
Sammi sent a message to Simone: “Is Gordon groping Lily?”
Simone: “It’s none of our business, Sammi.”
Sammi: “But is he???”
Simone: “I think he’s got his hand inside her bra – I can’t be sure though.”
Sammi: “No way! And she’s letting him???”
Simone: “Ask her yourself!”
Sammi: “Not while he’s watching her screen, thank you!”
Simone: “Well I can’t really see properly – her monitor’s in the way.”
“Paste special,” said Gordon. “Now select ‘values’. Click Ok … and you’re done. Now you just need to delete column H.”
“Thanks!” said Lily.
“It was my pleasure,” said Gordon, taking his hand out of her top and returning to his desk.
“I’m sure it was,” muttered Lily, chuckling to herself.
Sammi: “WELL??????”
Lily: “Well what?”
Sammi: “Did he really have his hand inside your bra??”
Lily: “Never you mind!”
Sammi: “Oh come on – please tell me!”
Lily: “All right – yes, he was in my bra. I’m still not quite sure why I let him … I suppose I’ve sort of stopped seeing him as dangerous.”
Sammi: “Wow. Well don’t tell Heidi – she’ll be furious with you!”
Lily: “It’s none of Heidi’s business, either…”
At lunchtime, Sammi went into the kitchen and found Gordon there. He was just pouring water from the kettle into his mug. Next he would need milk from the fridge. She quickened her pace and beat him to it. Opening the fridge door, she bent down to fetch her lunch box from the lowest shelf. Then she grinned as she felt a hand grasping her left buttock. “Gooordonnnn…” she said reproachfully, but she did not immediately stand up.
The skirt she was wearing had wide, soft pleats, came down almost to her knees, and was made of thin cotton. With only that and her flimsy panties between her buttock and Gordon’s hand, she could feel each of his fingers very clearly as they squeezed her buttock flesh and stroked around, working their way towards the middle, slipping downwards a little, and between her legs to…
She straightened up quickly, clutching her lunch box. “Gordon, you’re a naughty man,” she scolded him. Without waiting for his reaction, she marched briskly to the door, and returned to her desk.
Shortly after two o’clock, Jo stuck her head out of her office. “Gordon? I need you for a second.”
Gordon got up and went, somewhat nervously, into Jo’s office, followed by the wide eyes of his female colleagues. Sammi pattered off a feverish message to Lily, Simone and Heidi: “I do hope he controls himself!”
Simone: “Me too. Don’t be surprised if we hear a loud yell from Jo, though…”
Heidi: “You really think he’d be that stupid?”
Simone: “I genuinely think he can’t control it! He looked awfully nervous going in there – as if he himself was afraid of what he might do.”
In Jo’s office, Gordon stayed well back from his boss as he looked at her screen. “Okay,” he said, “It looks like you’ve hidden the first few rows of the spreadsheet…”
“I’m sure I didn’t,” said Jo. “But that was my first thought, so I tried to unhide … but no luck.”
“Hmm, let me try,” said Gordon. He highlighted the first visible row and slowly dragged upwards. After a moment, he said, “Funny – it’s letting me select the invisible rows, but it’s not letting me unhide them.”
“You see? It’s a mystery,” said Jo.
Gordon scrolled up … nothing. Then he scrolled down. “Aha,” he said. He clicked the ‘Window’ menu, and selected ‘Unfreeze panes’. When he scrolled up again, the first six rows of the spreadsheet rolled into view. “You’d frozen the panes while scrolled down,” he explained. “I didn’t notice at first, because you’ve got borders all over the place. But that’s it – it’s fixed now.”
“Thank you!” said Jo.
“Don’t mention it,” he replied with a smile, as he gave her right breast a gentle squeeze. Then his eyes widened in horror, and he backed away with his hands clutching his face. “Oh God … oh God!” he said. “I’m so sorry!”
Jo folded her arms and raised an eyebrow at him. “Well that didn’t take you long, did it?”
“Oh God!” said Gordon again, utterly mortified. “I can’t believe I did that!”
“Yes, well, I suppose you did warn me,” said Jo. “Go on – get back to your work. And try to keep your hands to yourself!”
“You’re not going to sack me?” asked Gordon in surprise.
“Do you think I should?” asked Jo.
“No!” said Gordon. “At least … well it’s up to you, of course. I just thought … the magnitude of the offence…”
“Honestly,” said Jo, “I’m glad that you groped me rather than one of my staff. If you’d groped one of them, I might have no choice but to let you go. As it is, I’m prepared to let it slide. But try to behave yourself!”
“I will!” said Gordon. “I’ll really try!” And with that, he practically fled from the room.
Sammi sent him an instant message: “You look a bit rattled – don’t tell me you groped Jo??”
Gordon: “Yes! It happened so fast – I can’t believe I did that!”
Sammi: “No way! How did she take it???”
Gordon: “She was very good about it – just told me to behave in future.”
Sammi: “You lucky sod!”
Gordon: “Indeed!”
Towards the end of the day, Simone had a question for Gordon. “Can you come here for a moment?” she asked him. When he arrived at her desk, she said, “Can you tell me what I’ve done wrong here? My formulas don’t seem to be working.”
He put his right hand on her mouse, and reached his left arm around her to take hold of her left breast. When she did not object, he started to massage it gently through her blouse – to Sammi’s delight and Heidi’s disgust. “Let’s see,” he said. “Your formula points to this cell, and this cell…” He clicked from cell to cell, trying to follow her logic, while with his left hand he deftly unfastened a button on her blouse. Slipping his hand inside her blouse, he worked his fingers into her right bra cup, scooping up her breast and gently squeezing it in his palm.
“Ah yes,” he said. “Your formula in cell E2 points to the total pounds in cell G4 … but presumably you want all of the cells in column E to point to that total, right?”
“Yes,” said Simone, whose nipple was now being gently tweaked between Gordon’s finger and thumb. “Aren’t they?”
“Nope,” said Gordon. “When you copied the formula down to E3, the formula automatically changed to point to cell G5. You have to put a dollar symbol in front of the 4 so that it will anchor. Then when you copy it down, all of the cells will point to G4.”
“Oh!” said Simone. “How silly of me. I did know that – I’m just not as used to working with formulas as I should be, and I forgot about that little rule. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” said Gordon. He took his right hand off her mouse, and slipped it inside her blouse, heading for her left breast.
“Good,” said Simone, arching an eyebrow. “Well, thank you.”
“Don’t mention it,” said Gordon.
Simone resumed her work, correcting the erroneous formulas in her spreadsheet while Gordon slid his hand into her left bra cup and began massaging her left breast. Now he was kneading and caressing both of her breasts, with no apparent intention of leaving her alone. Glancing over at Sammi, who was staring at her with wide eyes, Simone smirked and shrugged slightly, then she turned back to her computer and continued working, opting to ignore Gordon’s groping hands.
Five minutes later, Jo’s door opened, and Gordon quickly withdrew his hands. He returned to his desk and sat down, and Simone took the opportunity to fasten the button he had undone. Then, of course, she had instant messages to answer…
Heidi: “Simone! How could you let him do that???”
Sammi: “Wow, Simone, I can’t believe you let him do that!”
Simone’s reply to both of them was the same: “I figure we either have to get him sacked, or just put up with his groping. In view of his usefulness, I have opted for the latter.”
Heidi: “You could do like I do, and STOP HIM!!!”
Simone: “It’d wear me out to keep fending him off all day. As long as he’s gentle, I find I can ignore him.”
Heidi frowned at her computer. Simone had been the one suggesting that they should all help to “cure” Gordon of his bad behaviour – and now here she was, encouraging it!
Gordon kept himself to himself for the rest of the afternoon. Sammi found herself trying to think of excuses to call him over, but her computer was behaving well and she had plenty of work to keep her occupied. As five o’clock approached, she was surprised to find that she was a little disappointed.
“Have a good weekend, Gordon,” she said as he headed for the door.
“You too, Sammi!” he replied. “And you, Heidi.”
Heidi smiled briefly at him as he passed her.
*************************************
On Monday morning, Sammi arrived at work wearing a blouse which she had buttoned only a little higher than the front fastening of her bra. It did not take her long to find a reason to summon Gordon.
“Gordon, could you help me please?” she said. “I’m trying to copy a table from Excel into an email, but everything’s wrapping and it won’t let me resize the columns.”
He came over, stood behind her, and put his hands on her shoulders. “Show me,” he said. As she demonstrated the problem, he slowly slid his hands down inside her blouse, crossing his hands so that his left hand was aiming for her right breast, and vice versa. Sammi felt goosebumps rise all over her upper body as his fingers entered her bra cups; soon he was grasping both of her breasts, and gently massaging them.
Heidi caught her eye, and rolled her eyes with disapproval, but Sammi merely glared back defiantly. “See?” she said to Gordon.
“You’ll have to start by resizing the right-hand column,” said Gordon. “Then do the one next to it, and carry on backwards until you get to the column that’s wrapping. It’s annoying, I know – just one of Microsoft’s little quirks.”
“Okay,” said Sammi. “Well stay there until I’ve got it sorted.”
“All right,” said Gordon, teasing her nipples with his fingers.
Sammi took her time over resizing the columns, but the job was still done in less than a minute. Having sent her email, she returned to her inbox and opened the next message. While she read it, she could not help smiling to herself as Gordon continued to play with her breasts.
Then Simone came over. “Sammi, did you request sales figures from Southampton?” she asked. Her eyes dropped to Sammi’s chest, and she smirked a little.
“Yes!” said Sammi. “I was waiting for those. Thank you.” She took the fax from Simone.
“You’ll rub them raw if you’re not careful, Gordon,” said Simone sardonically, before returning to her desk.
Gordon withdrew his hands. “Sorry,” he said. “I’d better get back to work.”
Twenty minutes later, however, he was on his feet again. He disappeared into the kitchen, and when he returned, he was carrying a mug. Sammi watched him out of the corner of her eye as he walked straight past his own desk and headed for the gap between her desk and Simone’s. She was a little disappointed when he turned towards Simone.
Simone looked up at him in surprise as he set his mug down next to her. She peered into it, and saw what appeared to be water half-filling it. “What’s this?” she asked.
But Gordon merely positioned himself behind her, reached around her with his right hand, and popped open the top button on her blouse. Then he turned his palm upwards and cupped it, while with his left he picked up the mug and poured some of its contents into his right hand. He put the mug down, then he held open the left side of Simone’s blouse, and slipped his right hand inside. With one smooth movement, he tipped his hand towards her and slid it into her left bra cup as its liquid contents spilled on to her chest and poured over her breast. She gasped, but it was warm – he had apparently heated it up in the microwave. It was also very slippery, and she guessed that it was baby oil or something similar.
“I don’t recall asking you to come over,” she murmured. “Is that baby oil?”
“Vegetable oil, from the kitchen,” he said. “I didn’t want to ‘rub them raw’, as you put it.” He removed his right hand from her left bra cup so that he could pour some oil into his left palm, then he slid both his hands into her bra, and proceeded to give her breasts a warm, oily massage.
Simone carried on with her work, trying to ignore Gordon’s hands, and how pleasant the massage was feeling…
Then Jo emerged from her office, and Simone frowned as Gordon took his hands out of her bra and returned to his desk with his mug of oil.
Heidi: “What the hell was that?” She had brought all of them in on the conversation – except Jo, of course.
Simone: “He’s got some nerve, I’ll give him that!”
Sammi: “What was in the mug???”
Lily: “I wasn’t paying attention – what happened?”
Simone: “He’d filled the mug with vegetable oil from the kitchen and warmed it up in the microwave. Then he just came over here, bold as brass, oiled up his hands, and stuck them in my bra!”
Heidi: “Okay, you CANNOT tell me he couldn’t control that! That was PLANNED!”
Simone: “Well obviously. My previous lack of resistance to his gropings has clearly given him the message that it’s okay to come over and fondle me.”
Sammi: “Woah!! What was it like, Simone?”
Lily: “Simone, you’re a naughty girl!”
Simone: “Actually it was rather nice…”
Heidi: “Aren’t you all messy now???”
Simone: “A little – I suppose I’d better wipe myself off with a few tissues before it soaks into my blouse.”
She did so, rather surreptitiously, since Jo was copying documents on the printer. Then she redid the button that Gordon had undone.
Half an hour later, Lily called Gordon over. As he approached, she raised an eyebrow and said, “What, no oil?”
His eyes widened. “Um, it’s got rather cold…”
“Then you’d better go and warm it up, then!” she said.
He hurried back to his desk to retrieve the mug, and then he disappeared into the kitchen. Heidi was there, making tea. She watched him put his mug into the microwave, and shook her head in disbelief. “Who’s that for this time?” she asked.
“Um, Lily,” he said.
“Good grief – you’re really in seventh heaven, aren’t you?” said Heidi. “A bunch of women to molest – none of whom seem to mind a bit!”
“You mind,” he pointed out. “And for that I’m very grateful.”
Heidi looked puzzled. “Grateful?”
“Yes! The others … they’re encouraging me!” he said desperately. “They’re letting me get away with murder! Thank God there’s someone here who is willing to put me in my place and remind me of how to behave!”
Heidi shook her head, baffled. “So, you’re telling me you really don’t want to grope us?”
“Well of course I want to!” he said. “But clearly I shouldn’t be doing so! So far you and Jo are the only ones who are prepared to keep me on the straight and narrow.”
Heidi chuckled. “Well, you’re welcome, I suppose. But I’m not sure I like the idea of being your moral disciplinarian. The impetus for you to behave should come from you, not from me.”
Gordon sighed. “I know!” he said. “Self-discipline’s always been a problem for me.”
“Yeah, I can believe that,” said Heidi. “Oh well – enjoy groping Lily.”
Gordon groaned in despair, and Heidi chuckled as she left the kitchen. Retrieving his mug from the microwave, Gordon hurried out of the kitchen and headed straight for Lily’s desk.
She was removing her jacket. “I don’t want to get oil on this,” she said.
Gordon stood behind her and leaned over her shoulder. Hooking the neckline of her top with his finger, and catching her left bra cup in the process, he pulled forward until her breast was almost fully exposed. Then he poured oil over it, until it trickled down into her cleavage and forward into her bra cup. Lily was a little taken aback, but allowed him to do the same with her right breast. Then Gordon put down the mug, and sank his fingers into her bra, taking as much as possible of her large breasts into his clutching hands. He squeezed and he kneaded, he caressed and he massaged, and Lily smiled and resumed typing up the year-to-date financials.
Neither of them heard Jo emerging from her office behind them, nor saw her until she was standing right beside them with her hands on her hips. “What the hell is going on?” she demanded.
Gordon immediately whipped his hands out of Lily’s top and backed away from Lily, looking guilty. Lily looked guilty too. “Sorry Jo,” she said.
“Sorry?” echoed Jo. She looked from Gordon to Lily, and back again. “Lily, you’re a married woman! And Gordon! Well, I suppose I’m not surprised he tried something, but Lily!”
“I know!” said Lily. “I shouldn’t have let him do it. I know. You needn’t rub it in.”
“That’s my job,” said Gordon, and then he slapped a hand over his mouth. Nearby, Simone snorted with laughter. That set Lily off, and her shoulders began to shake as she tried not to laugh out loud.
Jo was not amused. “Gordon, for someone whose job is hanging by a thread, you’re not treating this situation with the seriousness it deserves!”
“It just slipped out – I’m sorry,” he said, looking worried.
“I get that Gordon has trouble reining himself in,” said Jo. “Not that that should give him a free pass, but I do get it. You, on the other hand, Lily…”
“All right!” said Lily irritably. “What do you want from me? Do you want to sack me too?”
“No!” said Jo, taken aback. “I just … help me understand, Lily!”
“It’s not just Lily,” said Simone, getting to her feet. “I’m afraid I’ve been letting Gordon … you know … fondle my boobs a bit.”
“Me too,” said Sammi, raising her hand.
Jo’s jaw dropped. “Have you all gone insane?” she demanded, looking from one to another in disbelief.
“Not me!” said Heidi.
“Well at least one of you has some sense left!” said Jo. “So let me get this straight: Gordon’s been going from desk to desk, fondling your breasts, and you’ve been letting him? Why, for heaven’s sake?”
Simone shrugged awkwardly. “I don’t know – it just … brought some excitement into the office, I suppose.”
Lily nodded. “Yes, that’s pretty much it,” she said.
Jo threw up her hands. “But you’re here to work, Lily! You too, Simone. And Sammi. You have jobs to do. It wasn’t long ago that you were complaining that you were overworked, Lily!”
“Well, Gordon’s saved me some time in my day,” said Lily. “I don’t think you have anything to fear on the productivity front, Jo. We’re all getting more done, thanks to Gordon.”
“Hmm!” said Jo. “Well I suppose you can still work while being groped. But Gordon – how much of your day are you spending actually working?”
“Not all of it,” said Gordon candidly. “There isn’t all that much to do…”
“Then we’ll have to find you some more work to do!” said Jo. “Then perhaps you’ll keep your hands off my staff!”
“Does that mean you’re letting me stay?” asked Gordon hopefully.
“For the moment!” said Jo. “Heidi – would you step into my office please?”
She went back into her office as Gordon scurried back to his desk. A moment later, Heidi entered, and Jo waved her into a chair.
“So, Heidi,” she said. “What do you think? Do we keep Gordon or not?”
Heidi shrugged. “Up to you, Jo,” she said.
“I know it’s up to me,” said Jo crossly. “But I’m asking for your opinion.”
“Well clearly he’s an asset,” said Heidi. “He’s just what we needed – good with computers and a fast worker. He gets his stuff done twice as fast as Sammi does – he’s picked up the job in no time at all. Quite honestly, this work is way beneath him. I suppose my main concern is that he’ll get bored and decide he needs something more challenging.”
“That’s your main concern?” asked Jo in surprise. “Not that he’s fondling your colleagues?”
“I don’t even want to comment on that,” said Heidi, holding up her hands defensively. “If Sammi and Simone and Lily want to let him grope them while they work, that’s their business.”
“And has he tried groping you?” asked Jo.
“Once or twice,” Heidi admitted. “But he knows he can’t get away with it with me. I can take care of myself, Jo – don’t worry about me.”
Jo sighed and tapped her pen on her desk rapidly. “So you’re of the opinion that we should keep him.”
Heidi nodded. “Yes – if we can. Like I said, I worry that he’ll get bored of us pretty soon.”
Jo pursed her lips. “Not as long as he’s got willing breasts to grope, I’m thinking.”
Heidi smiled wryly. “Well yes – as I said to him earlier, he must feel like he’s in seventh heaven at the moment, with three good-looking women letting him do that to them.”
Jo frowned. “So you think … you think I should just turn a blind eye to it?”
Heidi leaned back in her chair, shaking her head. “Oh no, I’m not suggesting anything of the sort. If you want to do that, that’s your decision. I don’t want to push you in one direction or the other.”
“Hmm,” said Jo. “All right – thanks Heidi.”
Heidi returned to her desk, and Jo thought about the problem for a few minutes. Then she leaned her head out of her office and said loudly, “Just don’t let it affect your work!”
Sammi and Simone looked at each other with raised eyebrows. Then Sammi sent Simone and Lily a message: “Does that mean she’s not going to do anything about it?”
Lily: “Sounded that way, didn’t it?”
Simone: “I wonder what Heidi said to her??” She brought Heidi into the conversation. “Heidi, what did you say to Jo?”
Heidi: “Don’t look at me! I merely told her that we should keep Gordon – based purely on his work and what he’s done for us, IT-wise.”
Simone: “Heh – well whatever the reason, I’m sure the implications of Jo’s little comment there won’t be lost on Gordon.”
Indeed, it was not long before Gordon disappeared into the kitchen with his mug, and emerged with it a couple of minutes later. Sammi watched him sit down at his desk, and then she sent him a message: “Gordon – can you come and help me please?”
It was hard for Sammi to keep a straight face as she saw that he was bringing his mug over to her. He set it down next to her, then he began unbuttoning her blouse. To her astonishment, he did not stop with one or even two buttons, but continued until her blouse was open all the way down to her navel. Then he pulled the left side of her blouse aside until her bra cup was revealed, whereupon he slid his hand inside, cupping her breast. He then turned his hand palm upwards, pushing her bra cup away from her breast, and when she glanced down nervously, Sammi could see her entire breast exposed to both her view and Gordon’s. She gasped as Gordon poured warm vegetable oil liberally over her breast, until it practically filled his cupped palm. Then he rotated his palm until it was cupping her breast again, and slowly he began to massage her, as oil trickled from her bra down her belly, all the way to the waistband of her skirt.
Two minutes later he took a break to repeat the process for her right breast, and for the next five minutes he gently but thoroughly squeezed and caressed both of her breasts. Eventually he said, “You needed my help?”
“Oh!” she said, quite breathless and flustered. “I … I can’t remember what I needed you for now.”
“Should I stay here while you try to think what it was?” he asked.
“Yes, okay!” she replied.
After another ten minutes, however, since she had not said anything else, he said, “Well, perhaps I should get back to work.”
“Okay,” said Sammi, nodding. “I should do the same.”
Shortly after noon, Heidi went into the kitchen and found Gordon using the microwave. “What have you got there?” she asked.
“Leftover sausages and cheesy potatoes,” he said. “Yum.”
Heidi smiled and went over to the kettle. It was almost empty, so she took it over to the sink and started running water into it. After just a few seconds, however, she felt Gordon’s hand slip beneath her arm and grasp her right breast through her top. She sighed in exasperation. “Gordon!” she said.
But all that he did was slip his other hand beneath her left arm, to take hold of her other breast. She stared down at his kneading hands with a mixture of amusement, puzzlement, and annoyance. “You’re incorrigible!” she said. She shut off the tap and turned to walk back to where the kettle’s base sat on the counter. Gordon shuffled after her, his hands still clutching her breasts.
“Let go of me, you idiot,” she said, chuckling at the ridiculousness of the situation. He did so, and she put the kettle back in place and switched it on. Turning to face Gordon, she said, “I have a project this afternoon that I’d like your help with. Do you think you can spend some time with me without feeling up my boobs?”
“I’ll try,” said Gordon sheepishly.
“Yeah, I’m sure,” she said, rolling her eyes. “Look, Gordon, I have a boyfriend, and he’d be pretty damn pissed off if he knew you had grabbed my boobs. I’ve half a mind to tell him you groped me, actually … just to put you in your place.”
Gordon looked alarmed. “Please don’t tell him! I’ll try harder – I really will!”
Heidi looked sceptical. “We’ll see,” she said.
An hour later, Gordon had been working on Heidi’s project for ten minutes without attempting to touch her … which Heidi was very pleased about. “Good lad, Gordon!” she said. “Keeping your hands to yourself – very good!”
He smiled ruefully. “It’s quite an effort, but I seem to be managing.”
“Well, keep it up,” said Heidi.
Less than five minutes after that, however, suddenly Gordon’s right hand was sliding down inside her top, and within seconds he was inside her bra, squeezing her left breast.
“Oh Gordon,” sighed Heidi, disappointed. “What are we going to do with you?”
“Please don’t tell your boyfriend,” pleaded Gordon, as he slid his left hand down into her right bra cup. He gently tweaked her nipple between his second and third fingers.
“I am totally going to,” said Heidi, frowning up at him. “And he’ll probably beat you up. Doesn’t even that deter you?”
“When you have breasts this fabulous?” muttered Gordon. “Unfortunately it’d take more than that.”
Heidi smirked. “So what would it take to make you too afraid to grope my boobs?”
Gordon pondered this. “Fear of losing my job, I suppose,” he said.
“Well it looks like that’s pretty safe for the moment,” said Heidi. “Oh well, grope away – I suppose I’m in good company.”
“Thank you!” said Gordon gratefully, and he kneaded her breasts with renewed vigour.
*************************************
On Tuesday morning, Sammi watched out of the corner of her eye as Gordon carried a medium-sized ceramic pot into the kitchen. Five minutes later he emerged, still carrying the pot, and she wondered if it contained baby oil. But if so, why had he brought so much? Perhaps, she thought, it was simply his lunch. But if so, why had he brought so much??? She was about to ask him to come over to see her, when, to her annoyance, Lily beat her to it.
Lily warily eyed the pot that Gordon was bringing over. She took off her jacket and hung it over the back of her chair, then she gestured towards the screen. “I keep getting this pop-up,” she said. “It’s annoying as hell.”
“Uh-oh,” said Gordon. “Looks like you’ve been infected with a virus or worm. When did that start?”
“Yesterday afternoon,” said Lily. She peered curiously into the pot as Gordon removed the lid. Its contents were off-white, smooth, creamy… “What’s that? Cream??” she asked.
Gordon nodded, and, pulling her top off her shoulders, tugged her neckline down until it completely exposed her bra. Stretched tightly around her ribcage beneath her breasts, it now effectively pinned Lily’s arms to her sides. Gordon then picked up the pot in one hand, with difficulty as it was obviously quite heavy, and clumsily started to pour it over Lily’s left breast as he pulled open her bra cup with his other hand. Cream cascaded thickly over her breast and into her bra, making her gasp. “Ugh, Gordon!” she complained as the cup filled up. Gordon let go, moved across to her right breast, and repeated the process, filling her right bra cup.
Lily was relieved that he had warmed the cream up, but rather disgusted at how messy she was getting. Still, the sensations as he plunged both of his hands into her bra and began massaging her breasts were, as before, rather pleasant. “So, what should I do about this virus?” she asked.
“There’s a website I can go to,” said Gordon, pinching her nipples gently between his fingers. “By entering a description of the symptoms, I’ll be able to figure out what’s infecting your computer. I may have to download a tool to assist in the removal, but basically it’ll talk me through a series of steps I’ll need to take in order to get rid of the worm. It’ll be no problem – I’ll have your computer free of it in no time.”
“Excellent,” said Lily. Typing was trickier than usual, thanks to the limited movement available to her arms, but she nevertheless managed to get on with her work while Gordon played with her breasts. Eventually he removed his hands and carried his pot of cream back to his desk, leaving her very sticky and messy. She pulled her top back up and went to the toilet to clean herself up a bit.
When she returned to her desk, with a rather damp top and no bra, she saw that Sammi had sent her a message, and that Simone and Heidi were also part of the conversation.
Sammi: “What was that stuff???”
Lily: “Cream – made a right old mess.”
Heidi: “Cream – you mean the dairy product??”
Lily: “Yup – from the thickness, I’d guess it was whipping cream, though it might have been double. It was warmed up so it was probably runnier than it would have been when cold.”
Heidi: “And you let him get you all messy??”
Lily: “Well I’m not particularly happy about that, but … it did feel quite nice.”
Heidi: “What’s Gareth going to say when you come home tonight with a messy top?”
Lily: “I managed to clean it up pretty well – it’s just damp now, and it’ll dry by the time I go home.”
Heidi: “Well I can tell you now – I’m not letting him put cream in my bra!”
Sammi: “LOL – yesterday morning you were saying you would never let him put his hand in your bra. And yet…”
Heidi: “Okay but this time I’m serious – I don’t want Gordon getting cream all over my clothes, thank you!”
Sammi: “Well neither do I, to be honest. But … we’ll see.”
In fact it was Simone’s turn next. Gordon spent just ten minutes at his own desk before carrying his pot over to Simone. She placidly carried on with her work while he unbuttoned her blouse and slipped it off her shoulders. She coolly ignored him as he pulled out her bra cups and filled them with the still-warm cream, and actually picked up her phone and made a call while he was fondling her creamy breasts inside her bra.
Sammi, watching out of the corner of her eye, turned and gasped in surprise as Gordon first slipped Simone’s bra straps off her shoulders, and then pulled her bra cups down to completely expose her breasts. Simone glanced around a little nervously, smiled sheepishly at Sammi, and attempted unsuccessfully to pull her bra cups back up, but Gordon’s groping hands were actually doing a pretty good job of concealing her breasts anyway.
Ten minutes later, Gordon headed off to the toilet to clean his hands, leaving Simone to fix her own clothes. Having buttoned her blouse back up, she remained sitting at her desk, prompting a message from Sammi: “Aren’t you going to clean up???”
Simone: “He’s bound to come back this afternoon and get me all messy again, so I’m not sure there’s much point…”
Sammi: “Wow – you were so casual about that! You didn’t seem bothered at all!”
Simone winked at Sammi, and grinned.
The fact that Simone was still sitting in her messy clothes was not lost on Lily, either. She also sent Simone a message: “Are you planning to wash those clothes? I imagine Jason will have some awkward questions to ask if you go home in that state.”
Simone: “Actually he won’t…”
Lily: “??”
Simone: “Don’t tell the others … but he actually knows what Gordon’s been doing here. I told him.”
Lily: “You didn’t!!!”
Simone: “Strangely enough, he actually likes the idea of me being groped by Gordon. He wants me to report each evening on what Gordon did to me that day.”
Lily: “Simone, I’m shocked – I never expected this of you and Jason!”
Simone: “:) Well it’s certainly helped to ‘spice things up’ in the bedroom…”
Lily: “I wouldn’t dare tell Gareth – I don’t think he’d be as understanding!”
Simone: “Anyway, as I said, don’t tell anyone.”
Lily: “Of course I won’t.”
Sammi fidgeted at her desk for most of the next hour and a half, waiting for her turn with the cream. But Gordon, apparently, actually had some work to do, and did not have time to come over and grope her. Eventually he got up and took his pot into the kitchen, and she wondered if he was heating it up again. When she heard the microwave ping, she smiled to herself.
Sure enough, as soon as he emerged from the kitchen he made a beeline for her desk. Pretending not to notice him, she picked up the phone and dialled the Cardiff office. “Hello, is that Eric?” she asked. “Oh – well can I speak to Eric please? Tell him it’s Sammi from head office.” She waited, her loins tingling as she watched Gordon set his pot down on the desk just in front of her. His hands crept around her from either side, and she smiled as he grasped her breasts and squeezed them gently.
“Yes, Eric? Hi,” she said. “It’s about your latest figures…” Then she gasped as Gordon scooped up a double-handful of cream and slapped it across her chest, drenching her blouse, which he had not yet unbuttoned. “Yes – yes, I’m okay,” she spluttered. “Just fighting off a sneeze. Um, so, yes, these figures – there’s a contradiction…”
Gordon scooped up another double-handful and once again spread it over her chest, though this time she was prepared for it and did not react so strongly. However, she was rather dismayed at the fact that the upper half of her blouse was now completely soaked with cream and plastered to her chest. Gordon went back for another double-handful, which soaked her blouse even more. The fourth double-handful mostly just slid down her front and formed a puddle in her lap – she was wearing a short black skirt and this, too, would now have to be cleaned. She was supposed to have been going to meet her boyfriend, Dez, straight after work, but there was no way she could do that now. She would have to go home first and change.
Gordon spent some time rubbing her breasts through her saturated blouse, and then he unbuttoned it and slipped it off her shoulders. He also slipped her bra straps off her shoulders, and, folding down the front of her bra, he began massaging her bare breasts. This made her feel rather exposed and embarrassed, but she managed to maintain her composure and kept her voice steady while talking to Eric.
The appearance of Jo in front of her desk, however, rattled her more than anything thus far. “No … yes … sorry, what did you say?” she said to Eric. She glanced up anxiously at Jo, who was staring wide-eyed at her breasts as Gordon dipped his hands back into his pot to fetch more cream. Jo’s lips were pursed, and Sammi felt sure that she knew what Jo was thinking: Gordon’s groping of her breasts was affecting her work.
She forced herself to concentrate. “Yes but Eric,” she said, “if I add up the figures in column K, they come to six thousand, two-hundred and eighty four pounds, and thirty-two pence. That’s not what you’ve got in the Totals tab. We seem to be missing an extra five hundred and eight pounds, and seventy-one pence. Which figure is correct?” She bit her lip to stop herself from squealing as Gordon slapped a couple of handfuls of cream on her breasts and began to massage them.
Jo shook her head in disbelief. She turned to Heidi. “He’s getting worse!” she said.
Heidi nodded. “There’s no way I’m letting him cover me in cream!” she said in a low voice.
Jo looked at her suspiciously. “As opposed to…?” she said. “Heidi, did you finally cave and let him grope you?”
Heidi blushed. “Maybe, a bit,” she said. Then she added, defensively, “I felt like I was being excluded from a club to which the others all belonged!”
Jo could not help pouting slightly. “Great – and now I feel like I’m being excluded.”
Heidi grinned. “There’s an easy remedy for that,” she said.
Jo pursed her lips. “As the boss I have to maintain some level of dignity,” she said. She looked back at Sammi, who had just put the phone down and was trying to type while Gordon teased her nipples with his fingers. “Sammi, how on Earth are you going to walk out of here this afternoon, with your blouse in that state?”
Simone, who was watching Sammi with a slight smirk on her lips, said, “Perhaps we need to buy a washing machine for the office.”
“Yes!” said Sammi. “Or preferably a washer-dryer, actually.”
Jo bridled. “I’m not going to spend company money on a washing machine for you lot!” she said. “Talk about misappropriation of company resources!”
“Maybe if we all chip in, out of our own pockets?” suggested Sammi hopefully.
“Well I’m not contributing!” said Heidi. “I fully intend to remain clean, thank you very much!”
“I’d contribute,” said Lily.
“Me too,” said Simone.
“I would too,” said Gordon.
“Look, we’re not getting a washing machine!” said Jo. “We’ve no space for one!”
“There’s room in the toilet,” said Lily. “I bet we could fit one in there.”
“But we’re not going to!” said Jo. “End of discussion!” She turned and marched back to her office.
“Aww,” said Sammi, disappointed. “I thought that was a great idea, Simone.” Then she gasped, for Gordon had just slid his hand down her belly and beneath the waistband of her skirt. Before she could stop him, his fingers were already entering the front of her panties. Looking down at the side of her skirt, she realised that he had sneakily unfastened and unzipped it, so that it was easier for him to get his hand inside.
“No, Gordon!” she said, trying to pull his hand out of her panties. He was just beginning to push one finger between her labia, but she managed to drag his hand back a few inches. He resisted, and pushed his hand downward again … and again she pulled, harder this time, dragging him back. But once she had pulled his fingers up to the top of her panties, she eased her grip, and he plunged his hand back inside. For the third time, she pulled him back – only this time not as far, and when he thrust his hand down again, he managed to cup her entire pussy, his cream-lubed middle finger slipping between her labia.
“No Gordon!” Sammi murmured. Well, she had tried to stop him, at least – it was not her fault if he was too strong for her. She looked down as he picked up his pot of cream and slowly tipped it over her stomach. A thin column of cream poured on to her belly and ran downwards, slipping between her abdomen and his arm as he raised it out of the way. She shivered as she felt the cream spread out over her pussy and then trickle between her labia, down to where his finger was sliding back and forth along her groove.
Gordon tipped the pot a little further, and the column thickened. Soon cream was surging into Sammi’s panties and surrounding her pussy. In the midst of it Gordon’s finger slithered around her clitoris, making her breathe heavily and close her eyes, savouring the sensations.
Then Gordon withdrew his hand from her panties, and wiped it on the front of her skirt. He got up and carried his pot back to his desk, leaving Sammi pouting in disgruntlement. She noticed an instant message on her screen from Heidi: “Did he just have his hand in your knickers???”
Sammi blushed, and responded: “I tried to stop him!”
Heidi: “Oh really? And how hard did you try, exactly? Whatever would Dez say???”
Sammi: “Oh God – I know! I can’t believe I let him do that! But I DID try to stop him … sort of…”
Heidi: “You’re a bad girl, Sammi!”
Sammi put her face in her hands. Her cheeks felt hot with shame. She resolved, then and there, not to let Gordon get his hand into her panties again.
By the end of the day, Gordon’s pot was empty, its contents having been liberally smeared over Sammi, Lily and Simone. Heidi had escaped getting messy – not because she had taken a particularly hard line with Gordon, but because he had not even brought his pot over to her. She was surprised to find that she was a little disappointed by this.
Sammi rushed home, showered, and put on a fresh outfit for her date with Dez. Her clothes went in the washing machine, and she resolved to wear something tomorrow that she would not mind getting messy – that blouse was one of her favourites.
*************************************
The following day, Gordon brought custard. He had made it himself the night before, and now, even after it had been warmed up, it was still pretty solid. The pot he had brought it in was from the same set as the one that had contained cream the previous day … but it was one size larger … and it was very full.
He set it down in front of Simone, who today was wearing a light, loose-fitting summer skirt and one of her trademark blouses. She was on the phone, and paid no attention to Gordon as he unbuttoned her blouse and then pulled it off her shoulders. Pulling back the deep yellow skin on the top of the custard, Gordon scooped out a large wobbling chunk of the paler stuff beneath, and, folding down Simone’s bra, deposited it carefully in the left cup. He went back for a second chunk, which he placed in her right bra cup. Then he repositioned her bra over her breasts, which squished into the soft custard and made her stumble over her words for a moment.
He pulled her blouse back together and over her shoulders, and buttoned it back up. Then he reached down and started pulling her skirt up – over her knees and up her thighs, until he had it bunched together at the level of her panties. Sammi, who was watching, felt sure that Simone would object to this, so she was immensely surprised when Simone leaned back, moved her knees apart, and slid her bottom forward to the front of her chair. This allowed Gordon to drape her skirt over her abdomen, completely exposing her panties. He took hold of the waistband of her panties at the front, pulled it out, and scooped out another chunk of custard from his pot. Simone jumped a little as it dropped into her panties, landing on her pussy, but to her credit she kept her voice steady as she talked. Gordon went back for another chunk of custard, and this one went in her panties too.
He plunged his hand into the mass of custard and began to mash it against her pussy, his finger sliding between her labia and running rhythmically back and forth. With his other hand he scooped up more custard, and mashed it into her left breast through her blouse. Another handful, and another, and soon Simone’s blouse was coated in squishy chunks of custard that were smeared all over her chest and stomach. As Gordon massaged her breasts, each in turn with just one hand, her bra slithered around over her flesh, lubricated by the custard inside.
Gordon’s middle finger now reached her vaginal opening, and started to slip inside her. Now she was finding it more and more difficult to keep her voice steady, and she was almost gasping as she said, “Can I call you back in a few minutes? I’ve got another … cah…call! Thank you!” She practically slammed the phone down, and clutched the edge of her desk with both hands, closing her eyes and panting hard as Gordon’s probing finger stroked her g-spot. A couple of minutes later, she shuddered and moaned in what appeared to be a powerful orgasm, while both Sammi and Lily looked on in wide-eyed astonishment.
After continuing to finger her, but more slowly and gently, for another five minutes, Gordon eventually removed his hands and took his pot back to his desk. Sammi copied everyone (except Jo) on her instant message, which she had held off sending until Gordon’s departure: “Wow, I can’t believe Gordon just gave you an orgasm!”
Lily: “You are BAD, Mrs Taylor! You’re a BAD, BAD GIRL!!!”
Simone: “So it seems. Maybe I should be spanked. You think Gordon’s up for that?”
Heidi: “Have you NO sense of decorum, Simone????”
Sammi: “Wow – I never expected you to let him go that far!”
Lily: “It looked like a good one.”
Simone: “Oh … my … God … it really, really was :)”
Sammi: “Don’t shoot me for this … but I can’t help hoping he comes to me next.”
Lily: “You were his last ‘gropee’ yesterday afternoon – I’m guessing it’ll be me next. He hasn’t been to see me since just after lunch yesterday.”
Heidi: “Yup, I’m betting it’ll be Lily.”
Simone: “I don’t know – my money’s on you, Heidi.”
Heidi: “I doubt it – he totally ignored me yesterday.“
Lily: “LOL – you seem disappointed…”
Sammi: “Yes, I think he’s a little afraid of Heidi – I agree it’ll probably be Lily next.”
But it was not Lily. As Heidi chatted on the phone to an old school friend, she looked up and was surprised to see Gordon coming towards her with his pot of custard. He set it down in front of her, and began tugging her t-shirt up. When she made no move to stop him, he pulled it all the way up to her armpits, exposing her bra. As if afraid she would change her mind if he hesitated, he quickly scooped up a chunk of custard, and deftly slipped it inside her left bra cup. Then he did the same for her right bra cup, exactly as he had done for Simone. He pulled her t-shirt down into place, went back for two more handfuls, and began mashing them into her breasts through her t-shirt.
That was as far as he went with her, however. After five minutes or so, he left her desk with his pot, leaving Heidi messy, and horny, and a little frustrated. She fidgeted and frowned for another five minutes, then she irritably typed an instant message to Gordon: “I want the Simone treatment, damnit!”
Except that she could not bring herself to hit “Send”. After glaring at the message for a while, she deleted it, then she sighed and folded her arms.
Later that morning, Jo stuck her head out of her office. “Gordon! I need you,” she said.
The other women watched in surprise as Gordon picked up his pot and carried it into Jo’s office with him, sparking a flurry of instant messages.
Sammi: “I can’t believe Jo will let him get her messy!”
Heidi: “No way – and he’d be stupid to even try!”
Lily: “I’m guessing he’ll try just groping her first, and see how she reacts.”
Simone: “I don’t know – maybe he’ll just slap some custard on her chest suddenly, so that she doesn’t get a chance to stop him.”
Heidi: “If he does that, he’ll be out of here so fast we won’t even have a chance to say ‘So long and thanks for all the gropings’.”
Simone: “Ah, so now you’re in the mood to thank him for groping you, Heidi?”
Sammi: “LOL”
Heidi: “Oh shut up. I’m not made of stone – I can’t deny it feels quite nice.”
Lily: “I wonder what’s going on in there. I’d love to be a fly on Jo’s wall right now!”
In fact, Jo was eyeing Gordon’s pot of custard warily. “And why, Mr Roper, did you bring that in here?”
“No reason,” said Gordon, staring at his shoes.
“There had better not be!” said Jo. “Anyway, I’ve been studying one of your spreadsheets and trying to understand your formulas, with a view to using similar formulas myself. So take a look at what I’m doing now. I can’t seem to get this formula to work, and I need you to tell me what I’m doing wrong.”
“Okay,” said Gordon. “Should be simple enough.”
“Right, good, so this is what I’ve been using…” As Jo typed, Gordon slid his right hand down inside her blouse and into the left cup of her bra. She stopped typing. “Gordon!” she said.
“Don’t mind me,” said Gordon, as he massaged her breast.
Jo snorted. “Don’t mind you? You’re molesting me!”
“Keep typing,” said Gordon. “I think I see where you’re going wrong.”
Jo sighed, and continued typing her formula, while Gordon slid his left hand down and into the right cup of her bra. As he kneaded and caressed her breasts, Jo said, “That’s very distracting, Gordon!”
“Okay, I see what you’re trying to do,” said Gordon, “but you’re going about it the wrong way. You want to have column E show the figures from column C on your first tab, right?”
“Yes!” said Jo.
Gordon withdrew his right hand long enough to pop open two buttons on her blouse, then he went back to massaging her left breast. “But your lookup key is the store number, which on the first tab is in column D. You can’t have a VLOOKUP look backwards along a range – it just doesn’t work like that. Put your store number in a column before your sales figures, and you’ll be able to make it work.” He withdrew his right hand again, reached out to his pot, and scooped up a large handful of custard.
“Don’t you dare!” Jo warned, as he brought it towards her chest. Then she gasped as he slipped it inside her blouse, pried open her left bra cup with the tips of his fingers, and deposited the warm custard inside. “Oh yuck, Gordon!” she said.
“Just try it,” said Gordon, squishing custard into her left breast as he massaged it.
Jo sighed as she clicked back to the other tab, cut column D, and inserted it before the column containing the sales figures. Then she went back to her formula and started typing it out again, while Gordon went back for more custard. This handful, too, he tucked into her left bra cup. The next, he slipped into the right cup.
“Aha!” said Jo, as her new formula appeared to work. “That’s it!”
“Great – now just copy it down to the bottom of the column,” said Gordon, now with his hands back inside her bra, squeezing both of her breasts and teasing her nipples between his fingers. When Jo right-clicked the cell and selected Copy, however, he said, “Wait – can I show you a quick way of doing that?”
“Sure,” said Jo.
Gordon withdrew his hands from Jo’s bra, and buttoned up her blouse. Then he scooped up a huge double-handful of custard from his pot, and mashed it into her breasts, smearing it over the outside of her blouse. “Just double-click the bottom right-hand corner of that cell,” he said.
Jo did so, and the formula immediately copied down the entire column until it reached the bottom of the data. “Cool!” she said. Her blouse was getting messier and messier, but she had known it would need a wash ever since the first handful of custard went in her bra, so a little more mess did not seem to matter much. “Okay – thanks Gordon. You can get back to your own work now … and take your custard with you.”
He gave her breasts a final squeeze, then he wiped his hands on a clean part of her blouse. “Let me know if you need anything else,” he said.
“I will,” she promised. When he had left the room, she sighed. Yuck – she was a complete mess! She got up and went to the door of her office. Opening it, she stuck her head out. “Lily, could you possibly order us a washing machine? Something cheap – we’ll all split the cost.”
Lily grinned as she saw Jo’s custard-soaked blouse. “All right!” she said. Once Jo had retreated back inside her office, Lily fired off an instant message: “Did you see Jo? COVERED in custard!!!”
Heidi: “No way!!!”
Sammi: “Hahahaha!!!!!!”
Simone: “I knew our Gordon could do it :D”
Lily added Jo and Gordon to the conversation: “Looks like a washer dryer will set us back about £300 – everyone happy to chip in £50?”
Gordon: “Yup.”
Jo: “I think I can swing that without Ken noticing...”
Heidi: “Sure.”
Simone: “No problem.”
Sammi: “Me too.”
Lily: “Okay – but how will we do this? On the company account?”
Jo: “Absolutely not.”
Simone: “I’m happy to pay for it with my card if you’ll all give me £50.”
Lily: “Sounds good – anyone object?”
There were no objections, so a washer dryer was ordered on Simone’s credit card. It was rather less than three hundred pounds, so Lily spent a little extra on a “next-day delivery with connection” option. Then she furrowed her brow. “Will we need to get a plumber in too?” she wondered out loud.
“What for?” asked Simone.
“Well – I mean, will the delivery guy be able to hook it up?” said Lily.
“Oh, I hope so,” said Sammi, who was collecting a fax from the printer. “Gordon, what do you think?”
“What? I don’t know!” said Gordon. “I’m not much good with that kind of stuff.”
“Ken would know,” said Simone. “Heck, he could probably do it himself.”
“Yes but Jo wouldn’t want him knowing that we were buying a washer dryer for this place,” said Lily.
“Crumbs, he’s in and out of here often enough,” said Simone. “He’ll find out anyway.”
“True,” admitted Lily. “I’ll ask Jo.” She got up and went into Jo’s office. “Jo, we’re worried that the delivery man won’t be able to hook up the washer dryer because there’s no plumbing for it in the bathroom.”
“Oh,” said Jo. “I hadn’t thought of that.”
“Any chance of asking Ken to help us out with it?”
Jo shook her head. “I’d rather he didn’t know about our little purchase.”
“You planning on keeping him away from here, then? He comes by often enough – don’t you think he might notice a brand new washer dryer if he happens to use the bathroom?”
“Oh God,” sighed Jo. “Yes, I suppose he will. And what on Earth will I tell him?”
Lily shrugged. “That people sometimes bring us clothes and sometimes they need washing? That is true, after all.”
“Yes but we don’t take in the clothes – we direct the donors to the shop on March Street!”
“I know that,” said Lily. “But what I said was true: sometimes people bring us clothes, and sometimes they need washing. That’s all true, and it’s all you need say to Ken.”
Jo thought about this, then grinned. “You sneaky devil,” she said. “All right – I’ll sound Ken out on the subject. When are we expecting delivery?”
“Tomorrow,” said Lily.
“Really? That soon?” asked Jo. Then she frowned. “Actually I think Ken might be free tomorrow morning.” She picked up her phone. “Leave it with me.”
Lily nodded, and left Jo’s office.
After lunch, to Sammi’s disappointment, it was Lily’s turn. Gordon lost no time in hoisting up her skirt around her middle, filling the front of her panties with custard, and stroking her pussy while filling both cups of her bra with more custard. Growing bolder, he slid two fingers into her vagina, found her g-spot, and rapidly stroked her until, with flushed cheeks and closed eyes, she moaned aloud in orgasm. By this time she had placed one foot on her desk while her other leg was angled wide, facilitating Gordon’s access. Even after Gordon had returned to his desk, leaving her messy and with her clothing in disarray, she remained in this position, basking in her orgasmic afterglow, for a couple of minutes.
Simone: “Shameless hussy!”
Lily: “Look who’s talking, wanton woman!”
Finally, just after three o’clock, it was Sammi’s turn. Gordon came over with his newly-heated pot, and set it down in front of her. Then, without saying a word to her or even looking her in the eye, he reached down, took hold of her left leg, and lifted it high up until he could rest her foot on the front edge of the desk. Then he did the same with her right, and spread her feet wide apart. Her skirt, which was shorter than knee-length today, fell up around her waist, exposing her white cotton panties to his piercing gaze. He gripped the waistband and pulled out the front of her panties, then he took Sammi’s hand and brought it down, closing her fingers around the waistband in a clear indication that he wanted her to hold her panties open.
As she did so, feeling very embarrassed, Gordon at first stared with interest at her exposed pussy, then he reached into her panties with one hand and gently stroked her labia and clitoral hood. By the time he went back to his pot for custard, Sammi was already getting quite tingly.
Several handfuls of custard later, Sammi’s panties were bulging with the yellow mess. Gordon then lost no time in sliding two of his fingers into her vagina, finding and caressing her g-spot while with his other hand he commenced filling her bra. This time, rather than bring her to a quick orgasm as he had done with Lily, he slowed down the pace of his finger-fucking, in order to make it last longer. Sammi, shuffling her bottom forward to the front edge of her seat, lay back and spread her legs as wide as she could while still keeping her feet on the desk. Gordon continued to stroke her g-spot while rubbing his thumb against her clitoris. Then, removing his fingers from her, he reached back into the pot and pulled out the deep yellow skin of the custard. He pulled aside the gusset of her panties, folded up the custard skin, and began to push it inside her.
Sammi gasped, opened her eyes, and looked down, just in time to see Gordon working the rest of the skin inside her. With his fingers he pushed it deep inside, then he went back to rubbing her g-spot. Ten minutes and several near-misses later, Sammi moaned aloud in ecstasy, grinding her pelvis against Gordon’s hand as he continued to feverishly stroke her.
Eventually he left, and Sammi could not wait to share her news: “He shoved the custard skin inside me!”
Heidi: “Jesus, Sammi! Too much information!”
Simone: “LOL – good for you, Sammi…”
Lily: “One wonders what he’ll be bringing in tomorrow. Each day it’s got messier…”
Sammi: “I don’t know, but I hope he keeps giving us orgasms – that was amazing!”
Heidi: “It’s not right – you’ve ALL got significant others who would be very upset to hear that another man gave you an orgasm.”
Lily: “Possibly, but I for one am not going to tell Gareth what Gordon does here…”
Sammi: “Yes, and I’m certainly not going to tell Dez!”
Heidi: “Naturally … I’m sure they wouldn’t understand. And I’m obviously not going to tell Malcolm – Gordon may not have given me an orgasm, but he’s done some other things to me that I’m not proud of.”
Sammi: “Simone, how about you? What did Jason say yesterday when he picked you up and you were all messy?”
Simone: “I told him I had spilled custard on myself.”
Lily chuckled at her desk, but did not type anything – she was not about to give her friend’s game away. She was surprised, therefore, when Simone did it herself.
Heidi: “Did he buy that???”
Simone: “Oh all right – he knows all about the groping.”
Sammi: “He does??? And … what, he’s okay with it?”
Simone: “Actually he likes the idea. He’s happy for me to let it happen. I have to tell him ALL about it afterward, though, in great detail.”
Heidi: “Wow – I had no idea Jason was such a sick man!”
Simone: “Hey!”
Heidi: “Oh hush – I didn’t mean that in a bad way.”
Sammi: “Wow Simone … that is so cool of him! I wish I had the guts to tell Dez … but I’ve a feeling he’d freak out. He’s pretty jealous.”
Heidi: “Yeah, so’s Malcolm – he would definitely not like what Gordon’s been doing.”
Lily: “And I can’t imagine Jo telling Ken. I guess Simone’s just lucky!”
Sammi, meanwhile, was sending a private message to Gordon: “So what’s on the menu for tomorrow, Gordy?”
Gordon: “You’ll see. And please don’t call me Gordy.”
Sammi: “Oh – sorry.”
Gordon: “No problem – just some bad associations. My parents called me Gordy, and that’s how I introduced myself at school, but then they started saying ‘Oh Lordy, it’s Gordy’ whenever I would enter a room. Not fun.”
Sammi: “I can imagine.”
*************************************
On Thursday morning, Jo arrived with her husband Ken in tow. She took him through to the bathroom, where for over an hour he crashed and banged while sorting out the plumbing to allow for the installation of the washer dryer. Eventually he emerged, looking rather dusty but pleased with himself.
“They should have no trouble now,” he said. He went into Jo’s office. “All done,” he said. “Now if you spill custard on yourself again at lunchtime, you’ll be able to get your clothes clean and dry before you leave work!”
Jo chuckled. “That’s not why we’re getting it,” she said. “Although if that kind of freak accident happens again, I suppose it will be useful.”
Ken grinned, and nodded. “Well, I’ll see you this evening then.”
The washer dryer arrived just half an hour later, and the delivery men installed it with no difficulties. Lily, who had brought detergent and fabric softener, put them on a shelf in the bathroom, and all five women stood for a while, admiring their new purchase. “So what’s Gordon brought us today?” asked Jo.
“I don’t know,” said Lily, “but whatever it is, there’s a lot of it – the pot he’s brought is even bigger than yesterday’s.”
In fact, when she returned to her desk, Lily found the pot, and Gordon, waiting for her. She smirked as she sat down. “Hello Gordon,” she said, taking her jacket off.
“Hi Lily,” said Gordon, taking the lid off his pot. Inside was a thick, creamy-white substance – rice pudding, which he had made the night before. He pulled Lily’s top up to her chin, then started scooping handfuls of rice pudding into her bra cups. Soon both cups were overflowing, and he was mashing the pudding into her breasts with both hands.
He filled her panties next, once he had pulled her skirt up to her waist. Having crammed them as full of rice pudding as possible, he reached into the mess and started to rub the pudding into her clitoris. It was not long before he was reaching further down, and sliding two fingers into her vagina. At first she pressed her pussy down against the chair, trying to stop him from entering, but as he began to stroke her g-spot, she leaned back slowly and then lifted her feet, one after the other, and rested them on the edge of her desk.
Next he visited Heidi, and this time he did not disappoint her. Though she feigned resistance, he was soon filling her panties with rice pudding, and then he was thrusting his fingers in and out of her vagina while she lay back with her legs spread and her eyes closed, moaning softly while Sammi and Simone giggled at each other.
Simone, of course, offered no resistance at all, and even held her bra and panties open for Gordon while he filled them up with the pudding. Her clothes ended up the messiest – Gordon insisted on covering every inch of her blouse with the creamed rice, and for the rest of the morning she worked with her bra and panties stuffed full of pudding.
Sammi’s turn did not come until after lunch. Her heart leaped as he approached, and she started unbuttoning her blouse. She smiled up at him as he stopped next to her. He reached down, slipped her blouse off her shoulders, and then helped her to take it off completely. He unclasped the back of her bra, and she looked around nervously as he tried to take it off her. She only resisted a little.
“Stand up for a moment,” he said.
Folding her arms over her breasts and looking anxiously at Simone, Sammi got up from her chair. Gordon unfastened her skirt, and let it drop to her ankles. She lifted her feet, one after the other, and he pulled the skirt out from under her. Then he reached up, grasped her panties, and tugged them downwards in one swift movement. Sammi squealed and put her left hand over her pussy while her right arm covered her breasts.
Heidi and Simone were watching with their mouths open and their eyes wide. Simone, of the two of them, looked the more worried about this turn of events, but she refrained from saying anything. Gordon now stood up, and pushed Sammi’s computer and monitor way over to the edge of her desk. This left a large, wide space; he took hold of Sammi’s shoulders and turned her around, then he pushed her backwards so that she lay down on her back on the cold plastic surface. As her shoulder blades contacted the desk’s surface, her feet left the ground – Gordon lifted them up and slipped her shoes off. Then he pushed her knees wide apart, and, her eyes wide with anxiety and fear, she cupped her pussy with one trembling hand.
Gordon did not attempt to pull her hand away from her pussy, however. He merely took hold of his pot, held it about eighteen inches above Sammi’s belly, and turned it upside down. She shrieked as the entire, sticky mass of rice pudding (now pretty cold) landed with a thud on her stomach and abdomen, and partially on the arm with which she was protecting her modesty. Gordon now began to push the top half of the mountain of pudding up towards her chest, and he spent some time mashing the rice into her breasts and playing with her nipples while he smiled unabashedly down at her.
Then he brought a large pile of rice down towards her pussy, and now he removed her hand, replacing it with a thick layer of rice, which he began to squish into her labia with his own large hands. Sammi, now resigned to her fate, closed her eyes and simply enjoyed Gordon’s attentions, gasping as he thrust first two, then three fingers inside her vagina. She spread her legs wider, inviting him in. Then the fingers were removed, something else was pushed slowly into her, and she heard a cry of alarm from Simone. She opened her eyes, and looked down, and her jaw dropped as she saw Gordon’s trousers unzipped, with a shaft of flesh protruding from the gap … and that shaft of flesh was disappearing inside her own body.
Gordon’s hands were back on her breasts now, rubbing creamed rice into them while he began to slowly thrust in and out of her. Sammi knew she ought to object, push him away, cry rape … but somehow this seemed like a fitting conclusion to the build-up of the past few days. As Gordon leaned down towards her face, she knew that he was about to kiss her.
“Leave Dez,” he whispered to her.
“Yes!” she whispered back, and then his tongue was wrestling with hers, as he started fucking her in earnest…
*************************************
“So, what are we going to do about Gordon?” asked Jo, looking around at her assembled staff – minus Sammi.
“I don’t know, but we really have to do something,” said Heidi. “He’s been here for nearly three weeks, and … well, I don’t have to remind you of everything he’s done during that time.”
Lily nodded, and looked out of the window of Jo’s office. “Good grief – they’re at it again!”
Heidi peered past Lily, and shook her head in disbelief. “They’re utterly shameless!” she said.
“Well you lot are at least partly to blame,” said Jo. “You’ve allowed him to get away with … all that stuff … unchecked, and you haven’t set any boundaries or limits on his … behaviour.”
Simone chuckled. “I wouldn’t be too quick to exempt yourself from that blame, Jo,” she said.
“True,” admitted Jo. “But let’s not get into all that. The question is: what are we going to do?”
“Well…” said Lily slowly, “actually I have an idea. Remember Charlie?”
“Of course,” said Jo. “Picked his nose a lot.”
“Well – yes. But aside from that, do you remember what we did after the Somalia donations … incident?”
“Yes!” said Jo, clapping her hands. “That’s an excellent idea, Lily. Good job. Can you help out with that?”
“Sure thing,” said Lily.
Fifteen minutes later, Jo, Heidi, Lily and Simone all gathered around Gordon’s desk. “Come here, Sammi,” said Jo.
Sammi hastily donned her mashed potato-filled bra, and pulled up her mashed potato-filled panties. Wearing nothing but these garments, she trotted over to Gordon’s desk. Her new boyfriend was looking nervously at the women assembled around him.
“Gordon,” said Jo, “you’ve been here for three weeks, almost … and in that time you’ve done things for all of us that … well … we’re not likely to forget. With that in mind, we’d like to present you with this.” And she handed him a little framed certificate.
“Employee of the month?” exclaimed Gordon. “Wow!”
“You deserve it,” said Lily, adjusting her own potato-packed bra.
Gordon reached out absent-mindedly with his left hand, wormed a couple of fingers into Jo’s potato-filled panties, and pushed them up into her vagina. “Gosh,” he said. “I don’t know what to say!”
“No need to say anything!” gasped Jo. “We’re just grateful for all you’ve done.”
Sammi, beaming, sat down on Gordon’s lap, and he deftly unfastened her bra with his free hand. She shrugged out of it, and kissed him on the lips as he slid his hand into the front of her panties.
“Well,” said Jo, “we’ll leave you two lovebirds alone. Just make sure you get that report to me by five, Sammi!”
“Mm-hmm,” mumbled Sammi, nodding. Then she sighed with pleasure as Gordon, his fingers now inside her, began stroking her g-spot. “Oh Gordon…”