Larry sat back in his chair. “Well that was a lovely meal,” he said. “Thank you very much, Yvonne.”
Yvonne smiled at him. “You’re very welcome, Larry.”
“Yes indeed,” agreed Graham, wiping his mouth with his napkin. “Quite excellent.”
“I’m too full to dance,” complained Joan, rubbing her stomach.
“Perhaps we can wait a while, then,” said Yvonne. “I’m pretty full too.”
“We could watch a movie,” suggested Graham.
“If we do, it’ll be kind of late afterwards for a dancing demonstration,” said Yvonne. “We don’t want the neighbours complaining.”
“Oh rot,” said Graham. “They’ll hardly hear a thing. We’re not planning to blast the music at a high volume, are we?”
“No, that won’t be necessary,” said Larry. “But I’m a little concerned about space. We should move the furniture back against the walls in the living room.”
“That’s no problem,” said Graham.
After watching Joan’s DVD of ‘Love Actually’, at her request, Graham and Larry set about moving the furniture, while Joan and Yvonne went to change into their salsa outfits. Yvonne returned first, and Graham whistled appreciatively.
“You look amazing, darling,” he said, kissing her.
“Thank you,” she said, blushing. “It’s pretty tight on me now, though.” She patted her abdomen.
“Yes,” agreed Graham. “In a couple of months, you won’t be able to wear it at all. But it looks fine now. Great, in fact.”
Yvonne came down in her own dress, which made both her parents gasp in shock. “Joan, that’s a bit … short!” exclaimed Graham.
She giggled. “I know,” she said. She went to sit down on the couch, where Graham joined her.
Larry put on a CD. “The very talented Joe Cuba,” he announced. As the music started, he danced up to Yvonne, who smiled, took his hands, and began to dance too. As he stepped forward, she stepped back, and vice versa – they were in perfect synchrony. Step to the left, step back, and then she arched backwards, with his arm in the small of her back. He took her shoulders, and she gyrated them, then she slid down his body, sticking her knees forward between his legs, whereupon he pulled her back up. Then he pulled her across his body, spun her into an inside turn with neck wrap, and held her arms while she wiggled against him.
Graham’s eyes were wide as he watched Yvonne’s sexy dance moves, his eyes glued as often as not to her white panties. It had not taken long for the back of her little dress to ride up, exposing part of her buttocks, so her panties were now on display all the time. Then his jaw dropped as Larry’s hands brushed the straps of her dress further towards her shoulders, and first one nipple popped free, then the other. Joan giggled.
It took Yvonne a few seconds to notice what had happened. When she did, she squealed and covered her breasts with her hands. She hurriedly tugged her shoulder straps back into place, and to her credit, continued dancing without breaking step.
At the end of the song, Graham clapped heartily. “That was great!” he said. “Very sexy!”
“A little sexier than I intended!” said Yvonne ruefully, tugging her dress back down over her bottom. She took Joan’s place on the couch, leaning forward a little so Graham could put his arm around her. Then she murmured to her husband, “Um, perhaps we should go upstairs? I’m sure Joan’s dance will be even sexier than mine, and I’m not sure I’ll be comfortable watching it.”
“Oh, but I don’t want to be rude,” said Graham. “Joan’s been practising her heart out, and it wouldn’t be nice if we didn’t let her show off what she’s accomplished.”
Yvonne sighed. “All right,” she said.
Larry put on another song, and began to dance with Joan. Her moves were getting very professional, and initially Graham and Yvonne were smiling and clapping with appreciation. But then Joan’s left nipple appeared, and she made no attempt to cover it up. Yvonne cleared her throat pointedly, and Graham looked a little embarrassed.
Then Joan’s right nipple popped into view, and shortly after that, her left strap fell completely off her shoulder, exposing her whole left breast. Larry pulled the strap back up while pulling her into an underarm turn, but a moment later it fell off again.
“Oh Lord,” said Graham, not knowing quite where to look.
Joan’s right shoulder strap fell off next, and the whole upper part of the dress descended to her middle, leaving both breasts fully exposed. Larry tried pulling the right strap back up, but Joan merely shrugged out of it. Then, grinning naughtily at Larry, she pulled her arms out of the straps.
“I think that’s our cue to leave,” said Yvonne loudly, getting to her feet.
“I think you’re right,” agreed Graham. As he followed his wife out of the room, he could not help glancing back at his daughter. He shuddered as he saw that her dress had now fallen to the floor, and she was stepping out of it.
When the song finished, Joan giggled. “That was fun!” she said.
“You’re very naughty,” said Larry, but he could not help smiling.
“Then maybe you should spank me,” she suggested playfully.
He did so, and then he fucked her on the couch. Noises from upstairs indicated that Graham and Yvonne were doing something similar.
As they cuddled, naked, Joan said, “Larry, could you bring your car over on Saturday? I have enough poo now to have a nice bath, I think.”
“Oh!” said Larry. “Okay. I’ll bring a few buckets, or something.”
“Maybe a dustbin?” suggested Joan.
Larry shook his head. “We wouldn’t be able to move it.”
“All right,” said Joan, and she smiled happily. “I can’t wait!”
*******************************************
Graham and Yvonne were both out when Larry came around to their house on Saturday. Joan led him behind the shed at the end of the garden, and Larry’s eyes widened as they took in the pile of transparent plastic freezer bags, all filled with poo and zipped shut at the top.
“Wow!” he exclaimed. “How many bags have you got there?”
“Thirty-two,” she said.
Larry looked at them with a calculating eye. “You know,” he said, “I don’t think you’ll even come close to filling my bath.”
Joan shrugged. “It doesn’t need to be full,” she said. “As long as it covers me.”
“Maybe it will,” said Larry, “and maybe it won’t. Personally I think you should wait another … how long have you been collecting?
“Since just before you got me pregnant,” said Joan. “So, almost five months.”
“Then I think you should wait another three, at least,” said Larry. “In fact, it might be better if you wait until after the baby comes.”
She pouted. “But then it will be too late!” she said. “We’ll have a baby to look after – we won’t have time for stuff like this.”
“Oh I think we will,” said Larry. “Not immediately, maybe, but crikey, do you think married couples give up on their sex lives after they start having children?”
“Well no, but it’s certainly going to be harder,” said Joan. “And the bigger I get, the more poo I’ll need to cover my big fat tummy. I want to do it now, Larry.”
Larry nodded. “Okay,” he said. “Let’s load up some buckets.”
It took them half an hour to load the car, and almost twice that to unload it at the other end. But by lunchtime, Larry’s bathroom was housing all of Joan’s poo from the last five months.
“Right,” said Larry. “Let’s start breaking these open, shall we? Oh, wait a moment though.” He went to the door and flipped a switch. A loud whirring noise started up, and Joan looked up to see an unpainted metal box attached to the ceiling next to the window.
“What’s that?” she asked.
“My new fan,” said Larry. “A friend of mine is a bit handy with the D.I.Y. – I told him I needed a powerful extractor fan, and he made this for me. At a price, I should add. But it’s really cool – it has twelve layers of charcoal filters. The air that blasts out of the building should hardly smell at all.”
“That’s pretty cool,” said Joan, picking up one of the bags. She tugged it open and up-ended it over the bath. Several pounds of poo fell into the plastic tub with a splat. She squeezed out what was left in the bag, and tossed it to one side.
Time had been kind to most of the poo – the seals on the bags had for the most part done a good job of keeping the elements out, as well as agents of decomposition. But some of the bags contained varying quantities of some kind of white mould, which in some cases was so thick that those bags looked totally white inside. Kneading their contents, however, soon brought the brown poo beneath to the fore. A couple of the bags contained hundreds of dead maggots. Joan explained that she had had to check on them every day – sometimes every other day – because the bags had tended to inflate with gas over time, and a couple of them had popped open, allowing flies in.
It was not long before the last bag was emptied into the bath. The results, however, were not quite as impressive as Joan had hoped for. The lake of poo, consisting of varying shades of brown, and punctuated here and there with little pale streaks of mould, was depressingly shallow. Joan stuck a hand in and estimated its depth. “It’s not very deep!” she complained. “What’s that – six inches? Seven?”
“It’ll be deeper in the deep end,” said Larry, holding his nose. “But yes – I did try to warn you.”
Joan stuck out her lower lip. “I was hoping it would be twice that deep, at least.”
“It’ll be deeper when you’re lying in it,” said Larry.
“It still won’t cover me,” said Joan mournfully. “Not with my big belly. What a bummer.”
Larry regarded the poo. “Do you want to wait, then? We could put it all back in the bags.”
“What, and take it back to my house?” said Joan. “That seems like a pain. Could you possibly keep it here? Put it in a dustbin or something? Something you can seal?”
“I suppose I could,” said Larry, “if I can find some space in a cupboard. So is that what you want to do?”
Joan sighed, and nodded. “Yes, I think so.”
Larry shrugged. “If you wanted, you could take a bath in it now, and then we can still save it afterwards.”
Joan brightened. “Hey, that’s a good idea,” she said. She kicked off her shoes, took off her skirt, t-shirt, bra and panties, and stepped gingerly into the bath. She giggled as her toes sank into the thick poo.
“How is it?” asked Larry.
“Cold,” she said. “But nice and squishy.” She lowered her bottom into the poo, and shivered with delight as it squished up between her thighs and heaped around her bottom.
The sound of a Black-Eyed Peas song made her scowl. “Could you pass me my phone please?” she said to Larry. “It’s in my purse.”
Larry fetched Joan’s mobile, and handed it to her.
“Hello?” she said. “Oh hi Denise. Hey, this is a bit of a bad time… Oh, you’re joking! He did? You poor thing… No, don’t worry – I’ll come right over. See you soon.” She gave the phone back to Larry, and frowned. “I’m sorry, Larry – Denise’s boyfriend just dumped her, and it’s her birthday tomorrow. What an arsehole! I can’t believe he did that.”
“Oh,” said Larry. “So you need to go?”
“Yes – well I’m her best friend, so I really should. I’m sorry. Can I leave you to get a dustbin and put all this away?”
“I can do that,” said Larry. “But how will you clean up?”
Joan looked around the bathroom. “Have you got a towel you don’t mind getting messy?” she asked. “And plenty of toilet paper?”
“Yes,” said Larry, going to the airing cupboard. He pulled out an old and faded green towel.
“Then I can probably manage without a shower,” said Joan. “If Denise can still smell me, I’ll shower at her house. She knows I like to mess my panties.”
“She does?” said Larry. “And what does she think about that?”
“She’s cool about it,” said Joan. “She even tried it herself, but she didn’t like it.” She got to her feet, and painstakingly wiped every last chunk of poo off her legs before carefully climbing out.
“How long do you think you’ll be?” he asked.
“Don’t wait for me or anything,” she said. “I might stay the night at her place. I’ll call you though.”
Larry watched her clean up – it took just twenty minutes. And then she was gone, and he sighed regretfully. He washed his hands, then left the flat and drove to Homebase. He bought a green plastic dustbin, and returned home. He had just carried it into his flat when the phone rang.
He picked it up. “Hello?”
“Larry, it’s Yvonne!”
“Oh hi, Yvonne. What’s new?”
“Larry, I … I need your help.”
“Oh? What’s wrong?”
“I went out to do some shopping for maternity wear this morning … and I … um … I’ve gone and done a poo in my knickers!”
“Good for you,” said Larry. “I think it’s cool that you’ve got into this.”
“Well thank you, I’m sure … but I just had a call from Graham. He called me from home!”
“Um … I’m not sure I see the significance…?”
“He was supposed to be at work all day! Now I can’t very well go home like this!”
“He doesn’t know about your … new fetish?”
“No, I’ve been too embarrassed to tell him. I will … at some point. But I don’t want him finding out like this.”
“So you need somewhere to clean up?”
“Yes – if it’s not too much trouble…”
“It’s not, and I don’t mind at all,” said Larry. “But there’s something you should know first…”
“What’s that?”
“The bath is kind of full of Joan’s poo at the moment. It’ll take me a while to empty it, but as soon as I’ve done so, you can have a shower here.”
“Oh. Okay. That’s fine. I’ll see you in a couple of minutes – I’m not far away. I’ve been trying your number for the last half hour. You need to get yourself a mobile!”
“Yes, so Joan keeps saying. See you soon.”
Larry was using a bucket to scoop the poo out of the bath and into the dustbin when Yvonne rang the doorbell. He quickly washed his hands, and then let her in. She immediately recoiled from the smell. “Dear God!” she said.
“Sorry,” Larry apologised. “It is pretty bad, I know. The extractor fan’s doing its best, but…”
She followed him into the bathroom, and gasped in shock. “When you said your bath was full of poo, you weren’t joking!”
“Indeed,” said Larry. “She’s been saving it up for months, in plastic bags behind your shed.”
“But whatever for?” asked Yvonne, staring in horrified fascination at the contents of the bath.
“She wanted to bathe in it,” said Larry with a shrug. “She just really loves poo, I suppose.”
“So it seems!” said Yvonne. “Good grief!” Then she arched her back, wincing as she rotated her shoulders.
“Backache?” inquired Larry.
She nodded. “I got terrible backache when I was pregnant with Joan, too. It doesn’t help that I’ve also got these great big boobs weighing me down – they give me backache all on their own. I’ve been wanting to have them reduced for ages, but Graham gets so upset every time I suggest it…”
“I’m not surprised,” said Larry with a chuckle. “It would be a crime against humanity.”
She rolled her eyes. “Typical man,” she said.
“You know, though, I might be able to help with the backache,” said Larry. “I did a course in massage therapy once.”
“Really?” said Yvonne. “You’re full of surprises, Larry.” Then she shrugged. “If you wouldn’t mind, I’d absolutely love a massage.”
“Will you be able to lie on your front?” he asked. “It’ll be easier for me, but…” He gestured towards her bulging abdomen.
“That depends on where I’m lying,” said Yvonne.
“The best place would be my bed.”
“How hard is your mattress?”
Larry grinned. “It’s the softest mattress imaginable. I paid quite a lot for it. I like to be comfortable when I’m in bed.”
“Then I’m sure I’ll be fine,” said Yvonne with a smile.
“Okay,” said Larry. He left the room and went to take the duvet off his bed. When he turned, Yvonne had not followed him. “Are you coming?”
She stuck her head out of the bathroom. “Oh – I assumed you would want me to shower first.”
“Only if you’re tired of having poo in your panties,” said Larry. “Otherwise I’m sure I can work around them.”
She blushed. “But your sheet will get messy.”
“I don’t care,” said Larry with a shrug. “I have a washing machine and dryer here in the flat. It’s not a problem.”
“Well if you’re sure…” said Yvonne.
“I’m sure. Climb aboard.” Larry patted the bed. “You should take your dress off first, though.”
She pursed her lips. “Is that strictly necessary, Larry?”
Larry shrugged. “It would certainly be easier that way. How many fully-clothed massages have you seen done?”
“All right,” said Yvonne. She turned her back on him, unzipped the back of her dress, and let it fall to the ground. Underneath she wore a black bra, and a pair of black panties which were bulging enormously with poo.
“That’s quite a load!” said Larry. “How long did you hold that in for.”
“Larry!” she said reproachfully. “You’re embarrassing me.”
“Sorry,” said Larry.
“About five days, I think,” she said. She climbed on to the bed and lay down on her front.
“Under normal circumstances,” said Larry, “you’d be on a narrow table at approximately waist height, and I’d be standing beside you. With you on such a large bed, and so low, I’m going to find it much easier just to straddle you. Will that be okay?”
“Just don’t take advantage,” said Yvonne. “You’ll get messy, though, won’t you?”
“I imagine so,” admitted Larry. “Which is a good point. I should probably take off a few items of clothing myself.” He stripped to his boxer shorts, then he climbed on top of Yvonne, straddling her thighs. “Damn,” he said.
“What’s the matter?” she asked.
“I haven’t any massage oils,” said Larry. “For that matter, I haven’t even any baby oil.”
“Oh,” said Yvonne. “Does that mean you can’t…”
“It just means I’ll have to improvise. I could use KY jelly – Joan’s lubricant of choice – but it tends to get sticky and doesn’t remain slippery for long. I’d have to use an awful lot – and I’m not sure I have that much. It’s not really designed for massages.”
“I don’t think I really wanted to know what Joan’s lubricant of choice is,” said Yvonne. “So don’t you have anything else? Cooking oil?”
“Hmm,” said Larry, regarding the poo piled high on Yvonne’s bottom and encased in her panties. “How adventurous are you feeling?”
“Why?” she asked sharply.
“It occurs to me that your panties are full of a substance that might be … interesting … when used for a massage.”
She gasped. “Larry!” she exclaimed. “That’s gross!”
“More gross than messing your panties and sitting around in it? You’re going to need a shower anyway – where’s the harm in trying?”
Yvonne thought about this for a minute. Then she said, “It’s totally disgusting … but I can’t deny it sounds intriguing too. All right then.”
Larry smiled. “Okay. Since we’re going to be using poo, though, you’ll probably want to take off your bra. No sense in getting that messy as well.”
Yvonne hesitated, then she reached behind her back and unclasped her bra. She carefully took it off, and dropped it by the side of the bed, never once allowing Larry even a glimpse of a nipple.
Larry reached into the back of Yvonne’s panties, and pulled out a double handful of poo. Pressing it into the small of Yvonne’s back, he started to work on the muscles in her lumbar region, using the filthy mess to lubricate his hands as they slid over her skin.
“Mmm, that feels wonderful,” said Yvonne, closing her eyes.
Larry pulled more poo out of her panties and piled it on to Yvonne’s back. Then he rubbed it all up her spine, working out every kink and knot he could find. Her sighs of pleasure indicated that he had remembered his course days well. Soon he had coated her entire back with poo, except for the parts above her shoulder blades.
“Can you move your hair out of the way?” he said. “My hands are pretty messy.”
She did so, and he started to work on her shoulders, which elicited more gasps of pleasure. Then he reached into her panties again, and found barely a handful left. He slid his hand between her buttocks, looking for more, and even got a finger to the entrance of her vagina.
“Hey!” she said. “None of that!”
“I was looking for more poo,” he said. “But I seem to have used up everything that was in your panties. I don’t suppose you kept anything back…?”
“I’ll see if I can do a little more,” she said. She strained, and Larry tugged the back of her panties down so that he could watch. He teased her buttocks apart, and was rewarded with the sight of her anus opening up as the round tip of a dark brown turd appeared. On the inside her panties were completely brown, the material saturated with poo.
“Don’t watch, Larry!” said Yvonne. “Get your hands off my bottom, please.”
Reluctantly he replaced her panties, and then watched as they bulged out with a new lump. When it seemed that she was finished, he pulled her panties down again, revealing a modest-sized fresh poo lying between her buttocks. He picked it up and placed it between her shoulders, where he worked it to the left and right until it was spread out in a uniform layer over her upper back.
“Well,” he said, “I could stop there if you like, or I could go on and do your legs, arms and neck.”
“I’m very comfortable,” murmured Yvonne. “If you don’t mind continuing, that would be fine with me.”
“The only trouble is,” said Larry, “I’ve run out of poo. I know there was a lot, but it’s spread out pretty thinly, and it’s not super-slippery like oil, so I need more in order to do the same job.”
“Oh,” said Yvonne. “Well I’m pretty sure there’s no more left in me.”
“There’s always Joan’s…” he ventured.
“Ugh, you want to cover me in Joan’s poo?” said Yvonne.
“Is it really any more outrageous than me giving you a massage with your own poo?” asked Larry. “It’s not like she has any diseases or tapeworms or anything.”
“Well no, but…” began Yvonne. Then she shrugged. “Oh, what the hell – I suppose it’s all poo.”
“Exactly,” said Larry. “Back in a tick.”
He hurried to the bathroom and loaded a bucket with Joan’s poo. Then, with some difficulty, he carried it back to his bed. He tried to tip it slowly over Yvonne’s back, but it was very heavy, and at first the poo did not seem to want to come out. Knowing he could not hold this position for long, he hastily turned it more fully upside down, and shook it vigorously.
Yvonne shrieked as the entire contents of the bucket landed in the middle of her back.
“Oh God I’m so sorry!” Larry exclaimed. “I didn’t mean for it all to come out like that!” He hastily started spreading the poo up and down Yvonne’s back, to even out the weight. Some of it he pushed all the way over her buttocks and down to her thighs. “Are you okay?” he asked.
“Yes – it was more of a shock than anything else,” said Yvonne. “But please be careful – there’s a baby in there to think about, remember.”
“I know,” said Larry. “Sorry, baby!”
He kneaded Joan’s poo (and a few dead maggots) into Yvonne’s thighs, which did not seem to really need much of a massage, and then he moved down to her calves, which very definitely did. She seemed to have quite forgiven him for dumping a bucketful of poo on her back. “Ohh yes, thank you Larry,” she said. “This is relaxing me so much – I can’t tell you how good it feels.”
He worked on her feet next, working poo between all of her toes, and even getting it under her nails. Then he worked his way back up her legs, and began massaging her buttocks.
“Larry, what did I tell you about my bottom?” said Yvonne.
“You don’t think it could benefit from a massage?” he inquired. “Have you any idea how much musculature is in there?”
“Well, I suppose so,” conceded Yvonne. “Just don’t be naughty, okay?”
“Okay,” said Larry. “But this will be easier if I can take your panties off.”
“Larry…”
“It’s not like I’ll see much – the whole area’s covered in poo at this point.”
“All right then. Go ahead.”
Larry carefully pulled Yvonne’s panties down her legs, over her feet, and squeezed all the poo left inside them on to her bottom. Then he tossed them towards the bathroom. Placing both hands on her left buttock, he kneaded it and massaged it, sliding his fingers all over it, from the place where it met her thigh, up to her hip, and across to the division between her buttocks. He forced handfuls of poo between her buttocks, then pushed his fingers into the crevice, sliding them down over her anus as he worked on her gluteus maximus. Then he took another handful of poo and pressed it into the small triangular space between her pussy and her upper thighs. Sliding his hand between her thighs, he squished this mass of poo against her pussy, forcing the poo between her labia without actually touching her pussy with his fingers.
“Larry…” began Yvonne, but by now he had already moved on to her right buttock.
When he had finished with her bottom, he turned his attention to her arms, and gave them a good workout from her shoulders down to her hands and back again. And then he moved on to her neck, and elicited many moans of pleasure as he worked some residual kinks out.
“All right,” he said. “Now if you’d like to turn over, I’ll do your front.”
Yvonne, who was feeling very relaxed and happy, suddenly stiffened. “My front?” she said. “Don’t be a jerk, Larry.”
“I’m not!” said Larry. “What, you don’t think you have muscles on the front of your body? Since we’ve done so much of you already, I figured a full body massage was pretty logical.”
Yvonne’s tone was sceptical. “You’ve had training in massaging a woman’s front?”
“Indeed I have,” said Larry. “The women were in bikinis, admittedly, but I’ve certainly done fronts before. They’re actually trickier than backs, because you have to do it without tickling the person. Which I can do, no problem.”
“Okay, I’ll turn over,” said Yvonne. “But I’ll keep my hands over the bits you shouldn’t see, until you’ve got them safely covered in poo.”
“Righto,” said Larry. “I’ll just fetch some more poo from the bathroom then.”
“You need more?” she inquired in surprise.
“It wouldn’t hurt,” said Larry with a grin.
He fetched another bucketful from the bathroom, and when he returned, Yvonne was lying on her back, one hand on her pussy and her other arm across her breasts. This time Larry was more careful as he gently poured the entire contents of the bucket on to Yvonne’s breasts, belly, pussy and legs. He started with her shoulders, manipulating muscles he had not been able to access from the back. Then he moved down to her chest, kneading her pectoral muscles with large movements that also happened to rub mounds of poo into her breasts. He moved the arm that had been covering them down to her side, which she allowed once she’d glanced down to make sure her nipples were covered in poo.
Then Larry spent some time on her right breast, using both hands to coat it all over with poo, and squeezing and kneading it thoroughly before moving on to her left breast.
“I really don’t think you’ll find many muscles just there,” said Yvonne, as Larry’s fingers squished a little nugget of pale brown poo against her nipple.
“Just being thorough,” said Larry. Then he moved down to her belly, which he expertly handled without tickling her in the slightest. Yvonne was impressed by this – she normally considered herself very ticklish.
He massaged the fronts of her thighs next, and they certainly needed it. Her legs below the knee had received a full going-over when she was on her back, so when Larry had worked his way down to her knees, he then turned and worked his way back up. He moved Yvonne’s hand away from her pussy, and started squashing large handfuls of poo against her labia.
“I need to do the insides of your thighs,” he said. “Would you move your legs apart a little?”
“Larry, I’m already naked on your bed, and covered in poo, which you’ve rubbed into every intimate part of my body,” said Yvonne with a sigh. “I’m sure this is fulfilling a big fantasy of yours. Why must you keep pushing?”
Larry raised an eyebrow. “I can’t deny this is pleasurable for me,” he said. “But aren’t you benefiting quite a lot too?”
“Oh I won’t deny that,” said Yvonne. “I feel great – very relaxed. But I get the feeling you’re going to carry on getting more and more … intimate … until you’ve had sex with me again.”
“I promise that isn’t my intention,” said Larry. “All I want is to give you a great massage and make you feel good.”
Yvonne sighed. “All right then.” She moved her legs apart a little.
Larry lifted up her right knee, bending her leg and bringing her foot further up the bed. Then he pushed the knee outwards, and started rubbing poo into her inner thigh. He gradually worked his hands higher and higher, but he stopped as soon as he reached her pussy. Then he did the same with her left leg, and again he stopped when he reached the top of her thigh. Her thighs were now spread fairly wide apart, and if it had not been for the poo packed between Yvonne legs, Larry would have been able to see every detail of her pussy.
He picked up a large double handful of poo, and pressed it directly on to her pussy. Then, manipulating the poo mass with both hands, he slid it downwards, then upwards, then around in a circular motion, rubbing it over Yvonne’s clitoris.
Her breathing was becoming heavier. “Larry, I’m sure that’s not an approved massage technique.”
“There’s no better way of de-stressing and dissipating muscle tension,” said Larry. “That’s medically proven.” And he continued to slide the poo up and down over her pussy. After a minute of this, he took Yvonne’s left knee and pulled it up next to her pregnant belly, a move which took her foot completely off the bed sheet. Then he did the same with her right knee.
He added more poo to the mass between her legs, and then he started squishing and kneading the poo, pushing his fingers right through it so that they slid between her labia. He now began to stroke her clitoris directly, while his other hand continued to rub poo around her pussy and between her buttocks.
“Oh God, Larry, you really mustn’t do that,” gasped Yvonne. But her hands remained by her sides, and simply gripped the bed sheet.
“I told you I would make you feel good,” said Larry, as he slipped a couple of fingers inside her. While still rubbing her clitoris with the other hand, he curled his fingers back and began to stroke her g-spot. Loud moans began to escape from Yvonne’s lips, and if anything she spread her legs even wider as she ground her pelvis against Larry’s fingers.
Larry withdrew his fingers, and grabbed hold of a couple of lumps of firm poo. Putting one to the entrance of Yvonne’s cunt, he gently pushed against it, and after a moment’s resistance it slid inside her. Then he did the same with the next one. Then, finding an almost entirely intact turd about eight inches long, he slowly and gently pushed it all the way into Yvonne’s vagina.
“God, Larry!” said Yvonne. “If you’re going to make me come, just do it! Stop torturing me like this.”
“Have you had poo in your vagina before?” he asked.
“Yes – once or twice,” she said.
Then an awful thought struck Larry. “It’s not … it’s not going to affect the baby is it?”
“A bit late for you to start worrying about that!” said Yvonne. “But no – it won’t affect the baby.”
“Good,” said Larry, relieved. He wiped the poo off Yvonne’s pussy so that he could see her clitoris. He pulled back the hood, as far as he could without causing Yvonne discomfort, then he used a finger to push as much poo as possible underneath it, and all the way to the back of it. He coated her clit with more poo, then let the hood ease forward into its original position. Now that her clitoris was surrounded by poo, he rubbed the outside of her clitoral hood so that the poo squished against her clit. Yvonne moaned her appreciation.
Larry slid two fingers into Yvonne’s cunt again, and then introduced a third. And then a fourth. There seemed to be some room in there, so he removed his fingers, found a relatively solid piece of poo about six inches long, and pushed it inside her. Then he piled some more poo on to her pussy, and squished it around, sliding it over her clitoris so that she gasped in pleasure.
And then he stopped. “Yvonne, how would you like to be Joan for a day?” he asked.
She opened her eyes. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, how would you like to go outside with all of this poo still on you – and in you? Maybe go shopping like that?”
Yvonne shook her head. “I couldn’t possibly,” she said. “I might meet somebody I know, and I couldn’t bear that. Besides, Joan has a high tolerance for embarrassing herself in front of strangers, and I’m afraid I just don’t.”
“I’m not talking about exposing you or embarrassing you,” said Larry. “I’m talking about you going out with tons of poo under your clothes, giving you pleasure while you shop … and nobody around you being any the wiser!”
She looked doubtful. “How on Earth would you accomplish that?” she asked. “The smell alone…”
Larry pushed a finger into the poo coating her pussy, and started stroking her clitoris again. “Clingfilm,” he said. “I’ll wrap you in the stuff, from your neck down to your thighs, with lots of poo on the inside of course, then you can put your dress back on, and you’ll be surrounded in poo, but nobody will be able to see or smell it.”
Her eyes widened. “Would that really work?”
“I’m sure of it,” said Larry. “But we needn’t take a chance on it. We’ll sniff you over once you’re dressed, and you can check yourself out in the mirror.”
Yvonne thought it over. “Is this something Joan’s done?”
Larry shook his head. “Nope.”
She smiled. “Good – then I get to do something kinky with poo before she does.”
“You already have,” said Larry. “She’s never had a poo massage.”
“Speaking of which, are you going to finish me off?” she asked peevishly. “You keep getting me close to orgasm, and then stopping.”
Larry smiled. “No orgasms until we get back from a successful shopping trip. Oh, but there is just one thing I’d like to do before we wrap you up.”
“What’s that?” she asked.
“I’d like to fill your rectum with poo,” he said, still stroking her clitoris. “So that you can let it out again while we’re shopping.”
“How are you going to do that?” she asked.
“You let me worry about that,” he said. “Stay right there – and don’t touch yourself.”
“Oh, why not?” she said.
“Because once you’ve come, you’ll feel less inclined to go through with this little adventure,” he replied.
“You know,” said Yvonne, “what if Joan found out you were doing this with me?”
“She’s already told me she wouldn’t mind if I had sex with you,” said Larry with a shrug.
Yvonne gasped. “She said that? Why would she say that?”
“I think she just wants licence to have an affair herself,” said Larry. “She’s not convinced she can be faithful.”
“Oh Larry, I’m so sorry,” said Yvonne.
“Hey, it’s okay,” said Larry. “And it’s really between her and me, so please don’t say anything to her.”
“I won’t,” she promised.
Larry fetched a couple of plastic supermarket bags, put one inside the other for strength, and filled the inner one with poo from the bathtub. Then, instead of tying the tops together, he folded them outwards, and then gathered all the sides together around a short piece of hard plastic tubing, which had an internal diameter of about three quarters of an inch. It had been languishing under the kitchen sink – a by-product of a plumbing job that he had never got around to throwing away. He secured the neck of the inner bag, which was now on the outside, to the tube by means of a long stretch of duct tape, which he wrapped around and around until the tube was held fast.
He carried the bag back to Yvonne, who was still lying on the bed with her legs spread, though she had put her feet down. He pulled from a bedside table a thick vibrator belonging to Joan, and he switched it on as Yvonne watched with wide eyes.
“All right, turn over,” he said. “I need to get a tube into your rectum, but I’ll have to warm you up with this first.”
Yvonne sat up, then turned over on to her hands and knees. Larry lubricated the vibrator with poo, then pressed it against Yvonne’s anus. Slowly he pushed it in, her sphincter yielding before it. He pulled it back, then thrust it a little further, then eased it back, then sank it a little deeper, and he continued until it was almost fully buried in her. He turned up the vibration setting one notch. “How does that feel?” he asked.
“Not bad at all,” was her reply.
“I get the feeling you and Graham have anal sex a lot?” he said.
“A fair bit,” she replied. “But I don’t really want to talk about my sex life with Graham, thanks.”
“Sorry,” said Larry. He continued to fuck her anus with the vibrator for a couple of minutes, then he whipped it out suddenly, and replaced it with the tube sticking out of the bag of poo. Her anus did not have time to close up, and he managed to insert the tube with only a little wince from Yvonne. “Cool – I got it in,” he said. “Now I’m going to squeeze the bag – you should feel yourself filling up with poo.”
He gave the bag a gentle but firm squeeze, and Yvonne gasped. “Oh, that feels so weird!” she said. Larry grinned, and carried on squeezing. For a full minute he slowly compressed the bag, but then Yvonne groaned. “Oh God – I feel so full! Larry that’s enough – it’s getting painful.”
Larry continued to squeeze while he withdrew the tube from her anus. As soon as it was out, he pressed his hand against her anus, which had immediately started to leak a thick turd. “Try to close it up,” he said.
She groaned. “I’m trying,” she said. “Oh God – I so badly need to shit!” Then, after a moment, “Okay, it’s closed.”
Larry now inserted the tube into her vagina, and squeezed the bag again. He carried on squeezing until poo started oozing out of her cunt from around the tube. “All right,” he said, removing the tube. “Stay there a minute – I’m going to prepare the clingfilm.”
He hurried to the kitchen, washed his hands, and pulled out the box of clingfilm. He had only just opened it a couple of days ago, so there should be easily enough for his purpose. He took it through to the bedroom, found a patch of clean floor, and started laying down strips of film, each about four feet long, and overlapping each other so that they would form an effective seal. He pressed the pieces together securely, and when he was done, he essentially had a single sheet of film, four feet wide and long enough to stretch from Yvonne’s neck to halfway down her thighs. He fetched another bucket of poo from the bathroom, and heaped some of it down the middle of the clingfilm sheet.
“Okay,” he said. “Get up from the bed, and come over here. “Don’t worry about making a mess.”
Yvonne climbed off the bed and came over. “You want me to lie down on that?” she asked.
“Yup – put your bottom just there, and then lie slowly back.”
She did so. As she lowered herself to the floor, the poo on the clingfilm squished and spread out to the sides. Larry then piled poo on to her breasts, packing a thick layer around them, then he coated her pregnant belly with a layer not quite as thick, then he heaped a huge amount of poo on to her pussy and all around her hips and buttocks.
“Can you raise your bottom off the floor?” he asked.
She planted her feet, and pushed her bottom upwards. Larry pushed more and more poo beneath her buttocks, so that her entire pelvic region was surrounded by an enormous quantity of poo, above and below, and between her legs. “Can you hold that position?” he asked.
“Not indefinitely,” she replied, “but for a couple of minutes maybe.”
Larry hurriedly tore off a few more strips of clingfilm, which he draped from side to side over the poo on top of her, from her neck down to her groin. Everywhere he draped it, he tucked it in at the sides, and when he got to the huge pile on her pussy and between her legs, he used additional pieces, for extra strength. Then he cleaned his hands, and pulled up the edges of the floor sheet on all sides of her, pressing it down on top of the clingfilm he had draped over her. In this manner he completely cocooned her torso. Since she was still maintaining her position, he used even more pieces to reinforce the seals around her bottom and pussy, then he wrapped a couple of pieces around her upper thighs, to prevent leakage from around her legs. Finally, he used duct tape to hold all the seals together. Before applying tape to her upper thighs, however, he fetched some tissues from the bathroom, and wiped clean the areas of skin where he needed to attach the tape.
“Okay!” he said. “Let me help you to your feet.”
She took his hand, and he helped her up slowly, crossing his fingers that all the seals would hold. Fortunately, they did. Yvonne chuckled. “This is the most bizarre thing I’ve ever done,” she said. “It feels nice, though.”
The poo around her bottom and pussy, clearly visible through the transparent clingfilm, formed a massive bulge around her, far bigger than any pair of panties could hold. It hung three inches or so below her buttocks, but seemed in no danger of giving way. The shiny film was stretchy, but it was several layers thick where it had to bear the most weight.
“Now,” said Larry, “we get your legs, arms and neck clean, so that the only poo on you is trapped inside the clingfilm.”
This was accomplished over the course of half an hour or so, and when it was done, Yvonne was clean everywhere except within her cocoon. She even smelled nice, thanks to a little of Joan’s perfume. Larry also cleaned himself, and got dressed. Yvonne put on her maternity dress, which fortunately had a high neckline, and admired herself in the mirror. “You’d never know!” she said, and she giggled naughtily. “I’m a bad, bad girl, Larry.”
Larry smiled. “You know,” he said, “that dress is really too long. There’s no element of risk with the hemline below your knees. Don’t you think it would be fun to shorten it a bit?”
“And ruin a perfectly good dress?” said Yvonne. “I don’t think so, Larry.”
“I’m pretty good with a needle and thread,” said Larry. “I could re-hem it so you wouldn’t know it hadn’t been made that way.”
“We don’t have time for that,” she said.
“No, but in the meantime, I could just make a clean cut with a pair of scissors. It doesn’t matter for our shopping trip if it’s not perfectly hemmed. I could hem it later.”
Yvonne hoisted up her dress, to see the effect. “All right,” she said, “you can shorten it. Just don’t make it too short, okay?”
Larry smiled, and fetched a pair of scissors. He made a note of where he wanted to cut it, then said, “You’ll need to take it off. I haven’t a hope of making it neat and even otherwise.”
Yvonne removed her dress without a moment’s hesitation, and Larry deftly cut off about fifteen inches of material from the bottom. He handed it back to her, and she put it on. “Larry, I told you not to make it too short!”
“It isn’t too short,” said Larry. “It’s exactly short enough.”
Yvonne looked at herself in the mirror, then turned around. “God, I look even fatter than usual. And my breasts look huge!” She could not see the poo beneath her hemline, but when she lifted the back of the dress even an inch, there was the film-wrapped bulge. She frowned. “Larry, get your eyes down to the same level as the bottom of the dress. Tell me honestly – can you see the poo?”
Larry crouched down. He could see the shiny bulge hanging an inch or so below the dress. He had, it seemed, misjudged, and cut the dress so that it covered her buttocks with only a couple of inches to spare. “Just barely,” he said, “but who the heck is going to look at you from this height?”
“A small child might,” she said.
“Okay, so we’ll stay away from small children,” said Larry. “Come on, Yvonne – you look amazing. Your legs are gorgeous. You’re beautiful, you’re sexy … and you even smell pretty.”
She smiled. “Okay then,” she said. “This is totally outrageous, and I can’t believe I’m doing it, but I have to say: I don’t think I’ve ever been this excited. Let’s go shopping!”
Larry grinned. “How does the poo feel?”
“Heavy,” she said. “As if my extra pregnancy weight wasn’t bad enough. But I’ll cope.”
They left the flat and went down to the ground floor. “Let’s take my car,” said Larry. “I’m not sure how well you’ll cope with driving like that.”
“I don’t think I dare sit down,” she said. “Is there a Mothercare within walking distance?”
“I think there’s one next to the shopping centre,” said Larry, “but it’s at least a mile away. If something goes wrong while we’re there, it’s a long walk home. I suggest you get in the back seat and squat, or kneel, or something.”
She nodded. “I think I can manage that. God, I need to take a dump though.”
“Try to hold it a bit longer,” said Larry as he unlocked his car.
Five minutes later they were pulling into a car park next to the shopping centre. From there it was a short walk to Mothercare. Yvonne drew plenty of looks, but she was not accosted by anyone. In the shop, they browsed among the maternity dresses. Yvonne, it turned out, was looking for dresses she could wear to work.
“This one’s pretty nice,” she said, pulling one off the rack.
Larry put his hand beneath her dress, and spread out his fingers underneath the clingfilm bulge. Pushing upwards, he squished the poo against her pussy and buttocks.
“Mmmm,” said Yvonne, arching her back and spreading her feet a little further apart. “Thank you Larry. Now what do you think of this dress?”
“I think you would look lovely in it,” said Larry. “But it’s a little long.”
She chuckled. “I suspect you’d say that about any dress.”
“Maybe I could trim it for you,” he offered. Sinking his fingers deeper into the shrink-wrapped poo mass, he found her clitoris and began to stroke it.
Yvonne closed her eyes. “Ohhh,” she murmured. “Don’t forget I need to be able to wear it to work. How short will you trim it?”
Larry placed his other hand on her left breast, which was surrounded by at least an inch of poo. He gave it a gentle squeeze, and rubbed the poo around so that it stroked against her nipple. “As short as possible without getting you into trouble,” he said. “Maybe short enough for Bob to decide to have a little word with you.”
Yvonne’s breathing was coming in gasps. “I suppose I could cope with that,” she said. “Shorter than Libby’s skirts, then?”
“Yes,” agreed Larry. “You’ll be showing more leg than anyone in the office. Let’s say, four inches below your buttocks?”
“That’s terribly short, Larry,” murmured Yvonne. “But I’m not sure it’s short enough to guarantee a reprimand from Bob. How about three inches?”
Larry grinned. “What about two and a half, to be on the safe side?” he said. Then he stopped stroking her.
Yvonne exhaled sharply in frustration. “I was getting close!” she whispered.
“I know,” said Larry, “but not yet. So are you giving me permission to shorten this dress?”
“It seems that way,” she said. “But I’ll need another – something more conservative.”
She found another dress, and again Larry stroked her pussy while she looked at it. “I’ll trim this too,” he said. “Though not by quite as much, perhaps.”
“Indeed,” she replied quietly. “Six inches below my buttocks, I think, for this one.”
“Six?” said Larry. “Come on – I was thinking four.”
“Five, then,” said Yvonne. “But no shorter.”
“Four and a half,” said Larry. “That’s my final offer.”
She sighed. “All right,” she said. Then she picked out another. “And this one, I think.”
Larry regarded it. “Three inches below your buttocks?”
“Four,” said Yvonne.
“Three and a half,” said Larry. “Now why don’t you go and try them on? Make sure you come out to model them for me.”
“Not going to happen, Larry,” she said. “These are all too low-cut – the poo around my chest will show above the neckline.”
“Hmm,” said Larry. “So just stick your head out when you’re ready – I’ll signal if the coast is clear.”
She thought about this. “Okay,” she said. “Wait, though, I think I’ll pick out another dress – just a casual one this time.”
She soon found one she liked. “Are you going to shorten this one too?” she asked with an innocent look.
“Definitely,” said Larry. “And I think I’ll make it exactly buttock length.”
Yvonne smiled. “Okay,” she said. Then she closed her eyes again, because Larry was rubbing her pussy madly through the clingfilm. “Ohhh yes – keep going.” She smiled happily, trusting that Larry would stop if anybody approached. He had her dress up around her waist now, and the vast bulging mass of poo around her bottom and pussy was visible to anybody who might happen by. Only a few ultra-thin layers of clingfilm, held together partly with tape but mostly by their own clinginess, prevented about twenty-five pounds of poo from descending very messily to the floor.
Glancing furtively around, Larry could see a few heads, but they were all a good distance away and on the other side of many racks of clothing. With one hand, he pulled Yvonne’s dress up to her armpits, while still rubbing her clitoris with the other.
He managed to get her zip down a bit at the back. “Arms up,” he whispered.
“Only if you make me come,” she gasped.
“I’ll think about it,” he said. “But first, arms up.”
She put her arms up, and he helped her out of her dress. “Now take these dresses to the changing room,” he said. “There’s nobody between here and there right now – you’ll make it if you hurry.”
Yvonne opened her eyes. “Oh God,” she gasped. She grabbed hold of the dresses, and hurried off towards the changing room. The poo in her clingfilm garment wobbled and bounced around her buttocks, but none leaked out. As she disappeared into the changing room, a middle-aged shop employee came around the corner. He stopped in his tracks, peering at the entrance to the changing rooms with a puzzled air, then he shrugged and continued on his way.
Yvonne modelled each of the dresses for Larry, then, because more people had appeared in the area, Larry tossed her her own dress to put on in privacy. When she emerged, she looked flushed and excited. “Okay, I’ll go and buy these.” Then she winced. “Damn, I really need to go…”
“While you’re paying, maybe?” suggested Larry.
She smiled. “Very naughty,” she said. “I like it. Yes, I think I’ll do that.” Then she looked worried. “Oh no – what if the clingfilm bursts from the extra weight?”
“It’s a distinct possibility,” said Larry gravely.
“Oh God,” said Yvonne.
While she was swiping her card at the checkout, Larry, who was watching her from a distance, noticed her move her heels apart a bit. Although she did not obviously strain, he could tell from her look of concentration that she was at this moment letting out more poop into her heavily-laden clingfilm undergarment. He could not quite see the bulge sagging beneath her hemline from this angle … but then, suddenly, he could. The clingfilm was sagging lower and lower under the extra weight of poo.
Yvonne finished paying, and the two of them left the shop. “Walk very slowly and carefully,” Larry muttered. “I think the clingfilm may be about to burst.”
“Oh no!” said Yvonne, her cheeks turning pale.
But they made it back to the car without incident, although they attracted many stares, and a few shouts and laughs. Larry drove them back to the flat, where he climbed the stairs behind her. With his eyes on the same level as her hemline, he could see that the bulge was now sagging more than three inches below her dress. And yet it was holding – just.
Safely inside his flat, Larry helped Yvonne out of her dress, then, true to his word, he brought her to orgasm on his couch by stroking her clitoris through the clingfilm. Then he instructed her to get into his bath.
They carefully removed some of the tape, and the clingfilm began to rip and tear. Enormous chunks of poo landed with a splat, adding to the shallow depth of poo in the bottom of the tub. When they had removed from Yvonne all of the clingfilm and tape, Larry squeezed it out so that very little poo would be lost.
Naked, but very messy, Yvonne attempted to cover her breasts and pussy while she wiped excess poo from her skin. Larry smiled every time he caught a glimpse of nipple or labia. Then he said, “You’ll need me to help with getting the poo out of your vagina.”
“I think I’ve let you touch me enough, Mr Murphy,” she said reprovingly.
Larry responded by cupping her pussy in his hand, and sliding two fingers into the poo in her cunt. Crooking them, he began stroking her g-spot. “I could make it very enjoyable,” he said.
Yvonne made a half-hearted attempt to push his hand away. Then she sighed. “All right,” she said. She lay down on her back in the poo, raised her knees to her chest, and spread her legs wide. “Get on with it then.”
Larry stroked her clitoris for a few moments, then he slid two fingers inside her vagina. He added a third, then a fourth. At this point Yvonne winced. Carefully, Larry began scooping out small handfuls of poo, reaching as far into Yvonne’s cunt as he could. Over the course of several minutes, he managed to get most of it out.
“I’m sure there’s more in there,” he said, “but I’ve done what I can.”
“Okay,” said Yvonne. “I’ll try with the shower head. Any that’s left after that will work its way out in due course. I’m pretty much guaranteed a yeast infection anyway, but as I said, that won’t affect the baby. I did some research on that as soon as I found out I was pregnant.”
“What you could do with,” said Larry thoughtfully, “is something that we can put inside you, that will squirt liquid into you to wash you out.”
She regarded him with a disapproving look. “Larry, I don’t think your semen is going to be quite up to the task, if that’s what you’re thinking.”
“Not my semen,” said Larry. “But how about my pee? It’s sterile, or so I’ve been told, and I need to go quite badly, so I imagine there will be quite a lot. A large syringe filled with water would be better, of course, but I don’t have such a thing. And I think you’ll find the shower head is too large and square to fit inside you comfortably.”
Yvonne thought about this. “I suppose it’s worth a try,” she said.
“Let’s empty the bath first, and then you can shower,” said Larry.
Yvonne got up, and Larry helped to wipe her down. Then he scooped up the poo in the tub with a bucket, and dumped it into the dustbin. When there was too little in the tub to scoop with a bucket, he used his hands, and eventually there were only brown streaks and smears and very small chunks left.
Yvonne pulled the shower curtain across, and turned on the shower. After a few minutes, she said, “Well, are you coming in to douche me or what?”
Larry had already fetched the KY jelly. He stripped off his clothes, then he climbed into the bath, which was now pretty clean. He switched off the shower. “Okay, turn around,” he said. “And bend over, with your hands on the back of the bath. Spread your feet apart a little, too.” She complied, and he squirted some jelly on to his fingers. Lubricating his penis, and also Yvonne’s pussy, he easily slid his penis deep inside her. “Okay,” he said. “Now we just have to wait for it to soften – I can’t pee with an erection.”
“Oh great,” said Yvonne. “How long will that take?”
“I’m not sure,” admitted Larry. “This position is kind of turning me on.”
“Well take it out until it softens, then!” said Yvonne. “I’m not having you coming inside me again.”
“But once it’s soft,” said Larry, “then it’ll be very hard to get it back inside you. And that process will probably make me hard anyway.”
Yvonne sighed. “So what you’re saying,” she said, “is that you need to come before you can pee?”
Larry pressed his groin harder against her buttocks, forcing his penis even deeper inside her. “Yes, I suppose that’s true,” he said.
“Then take out your penis, masturbate until you come, and then put it back inside me when you’re ready to pee,” said Yvonne.
“That won’t work,” said Larry. “If I masturbate outside your body, then I’ll be soft when I try to put it back in.”
Yvonne’s shoulders slumped a little. “All right then – you’d better come inside me.”
“Okay,” said Larry. He started thrusting slowly inside her vagina, pulling his erection nearly all the way out, then sliding it all the way back in again, over and over again. Gradually, he increased the pace of his thrusting, until at last he could feel his orgasm approaching. With a groan of pleasure, he pulled her hips back against his, pushing as deep as possible as he spurted his semen into her cunt.
A minute later, as his penis was slowly beginning to soften, the shower curtain was suddenly flung open. Larry and Yvonne both gasped in surprise. Standing in front of them, looking shocked beyond belief, was Joan.
“I can’t believe you two are having sex!” she exclaimed.
“This isn’t what it looks like,” said Larry hastily.
Joan folded her arms. “Larry, I said you could fuck my mum and I meant it. But I didn’t mean I wanted to see it happening! And don’t for heaven’s sake lie about it. What do you mean, it’s not what it looks like?”
Yvonne, thoroughly embarrassed, covered her breasts with one hand, although she remained in the same position. “Larry’s giving me a douche with his pee,” she said. “Or he was about to.”
“What?” said Joan. “Why?”
“I was full of poo,” mumbled Yvonne.
“Your poo, actually,” added Larry.
“Mum! You put my poo inside your vagina?” Joan seemed horrified at the concept.
“Thanks Larry,” said Yvonne. “Yes, darling, I did. Well, Larry did. I’m sorry.”
Joan shook her head in disbelief. She pulled the toilet lid down, and sat on it. “So you’re into poo stuff now, are you Mum?”
“I was curious to try it,” said Yvonne, “once I saw how much you were enjoying it. So I tried doing a poo in my panties – at Larry’s suggestion – and I discovered I quite liked it…”
“See?” cried Joan. “Isn’t it fun? And you’ve been telling me off for doing it for years…”
“Well you can rest assured, I won’t tell you off again for messing your panties,” said Yvonne.
“Good,” said Joan. “But Larry – why did you use my poo? I thought we were saving it! Couldn’t you have used Mum’s?”
“We did,” said Larry. “I gave your mum a massage, using her poo instead of massage oils. When we ran out of hers, we turned to yours, since there was such a large supply. But don’t worry – we’ve saved almost all of it.”
“You gave Mum a poo massage? You’ve never done that for me!” said Joan, aggrieved. “And you’ve never peed inside me to wash me out, either!”
“I’m sorry,” said Larry, hanging his head. “It only occurred to me to do so, just before I did it. There are a lot of things we’ve done that your mother hasn’t, though, right?”
“Well of course,” said Joan. “I’m the one you’re marrying!”
“That’s very true,” agreed Larry. “All right – do you want me to not pee inside your mum right now?”
Joan looked down at her mother’s naked buttocks, and Larry’s groin which looked like it was surgically attached to them … and she wrinkled her nose in distaste. “No, go ahead,” she said. “But save some of it – I want to see you pee on her face and in her hair.”
“Oh darling, that’s horrible,” said Yvonne. “Why would you want to see that?”
“Why not?” said Joan defensively. “I think I’m taking this rather well, don’t you?”
Larry sighed. “Yes, you are,” he said. “But on the other hand, you did tell me it was okay for me to have sex with your mum. You didn’t set any kind of conditions on that, such as when or where said sex was to happen. If you want to set up some conditions, we’ll discuss it. But perhaps not while your mother and I are in this position.”
Joan sniffed. “Fine. Finish off what you’re doing. But remember – this means I get to have an affair too.” And she turned on her heel and flounced out of the room.
Yvonne groaned. “Now I feel terrible!” she said.
Larry relaxed his bladder, and warm urine surged into Yvonne’s vagina. It soon started leaking out around Larry’s now-soft penis, and liquid brown rivulets began to run down Yvonne’s thighs. Larry continued to pee, until he had emptied his bladder. Then he pulled out, and brownish-yellow liquid gushed out of Yvonne’s cunt. Larry turned the shower back on, and cleaned himself. Then he climbed out of the tub, and dried himself off with a towel.
With the towel around his waist, he went through to the sitting room and found Joan sitting on the couch, sulking. He sat next to her and put his arm around her. “Joan, I’m sorry,” he said. “I honestly thought you wouldn’t mind … but I hadn’t really planned on your seeing it.”
“I don’t mind, Larry,” said Joan firmly, as if to convince herself as much as Larry. “But I think we need some rules.”
“I agree,” said Larry. “Let’s talk about them once your mum’s left.”
Yvonne nodded. “So … when did Mum start taking dumps in her knickers?”
“Remember that conference in Scarborough?” said Larry. “It was the day after that.”
“All the way back then?” asked Joan, surprised. “And she really likes it?”
“Can’t get enough of it,” said Larry. “You should have seen her earlier this afternoon. Covered from neck to toe, she was … and then I wrapped her up in clingfilm and we went shopping, with tons of your poo surrounding her. And nobody knowing it, because the clingfilm kept in the smell.”
Joan’s eyes were growing wider by the second. “What a cool idea!” she said. “Larry, I want to do that!”
“And so you shall,” said Larry, smiling.
A few minutes later, Yvonne emerged from the bathroom. She put her bra on, and then her dress, and finally her shoes. Her panties, soaked with poo and lying in a heap on the floor, she left.
“Mum!” said Joan. “Your dress shrank!”
“Larry cut it shorter,” said Yvonne uncomfortably.
“And I’m also going to cut all of the dresses we bought today,” added Larry.
Joan giggled. “That’s pretty short, Mum!” she said. She turned to Larry. “Can I help you shorten Mum’s dresses?”
“If you like,” said Larry. He turned to Yvonne. “I’ll bring over tomorrow whichever ones I’ve managed to finish by that time,” he said.
Yvonne nodded. “Thanks,” she said. Then she looked at Joan, a little sadly. “Joan, I’m really sorry…”
Joan waved a hand dismissively. “Mum, forget it. Larry and I have an agreement. He gets to have sex with you, and I get to have a fling at university.”
“But Larry and I won’t be having sex again,” said Yvonne earnestly. “It’s always been an accident, or something similar. It won’t happen again.”
“I bet it will,” said Joan. “And that’s okay. But you might have some explaining to do with Dad.”
Yvonne bit her lip, and nodded. “Well, I should go,” she said. “I’ll see you both tomorrow.”
Once she had left, Joan grinned wickedly. “Let’s get to work on Mum’s dresses,” she said.
“Don’t you want to talk about rules for affairs?” asked Larry.
“Later,” said Joan impatiently. “Come on – I want to see Mum wear an embarrassingly short dress to work.”
“We kind of agreed on lengths,” said Larry. “The shortest one is going to be buttock-length, but that’s for casual wear. The others are for work, and they’ll have to be longer.”
Joan shrugged. “Suit yourself,” she said. “I really just want you to show me how to shorten dresses and skirts properly, because I want to be able to do the same with mine.”
Larry chuckled. “Joan, if you shorten your own skirts any more, they won’t even cover your pussy.”
Joan grinned. “Bummer,” she said.
He took her in his arms, and kissed her softly. “You really are amazing,” he said. “Are you sure you’re okay with what your mum and I did?”
She nodded. “It was just a bit of a shock,” she said. “I’m okay now. Next time I won’t overreact. If I come home and you’re having sex with Mum, I’ll just go and watch TV or something.”
He slid his hand into her panties and started stroking her pussy. “Well I’ll try not to let that happen,” he said. “Anyway, your Mum’s right – I can’t really see her and me having sex again.”
“But if the opportunity arose, you’d take it, yeah?” she said.
Larry smiled. “I might,” he said. “Since you seem to be okay with that.”
“Good,” she said. “But you have to promise to be cool about it when I do the same.”
He sighed. “I’ll try.” He slipped a couple of fingers inside her. “So is your friend okay?”
Joan spread her legs and lay back. “She’ll be fine,” she said. “Her parents have taken her out to the cinema as a pre-birthday treat. They asked me if I wanted to go too, but I said no because I wanted to get back here for some sex.”
Larry smiled. “Well you’ll need to give me a few minutes to recover from … you know.”
“I’m sure I can help you recover,” she said softly. She slid off the couch, knelt in front of him, and pulled open his towel.
“Oh!” said Larry in surprise as she took his semi-erect penis into her mouth. “Wow – this is nice.” He closed his eyes, and a happy smile came to his lips.