I am holed up in my room this evening, trying to catch up on things.  Mom is feeling much, much better today.  After yesterday I wasn’t so sure that the new meds were doing her much good, but today…  She cooked supper for the first time in ages and this evening she is giving Pepper some attention, of course Joan is trying to monopolize on Mom’s good fortune.  I’d like some attention from her too, but Pepper needs it more, so I’m just making myself scarce.  Anyway, I had a lot of homework.  Well, I’ve knocked out the homework and now I have time to catch up on my journal.

Yesterday started out normal enough.  We all went to church and then had dinner at Morrison’s.  Mom was about halfway through dinner when I noticed that she was feeling pretty badly.  When we got home, she asked me to go to the store for her and buy the groceries for the coming week.  When I got back about an hour later, and after putting everything away, I noticed how quiet it was in the house.

 I figured that Mama was lying down and Joan and Pepper were somewhere, where I didn’t know.  I really didn’t think much about it.  My bedroom door was closed too, but I always keep it closed.  Knock, why would I knock on my own bedroom door?  So I opened the door.

Daddy was lying in my bed with his hands clasped behind his heads.  Pepper was perched on top of him, nude.  I froze in the doorway and turned to leave.

“Terri!  Don’t leave, baby, but shut the door and lock it,” Daddy said as if fucking Pepper was the most mundane thing for a Sunday afternoon.  I should’ve left, but…

 Pepper’s head snapped around and seeing me, the rhythmic rocking motions she was making came to an abrupt halt.  Her face flushed a bright crimson.  I was red-faced too.

“C’mon in, darling,” Daddy said.  “Come join us.” 

“Where’s Mama?” I asked. “Where’s Joan?”  I whispered loudly.

“That’s powerful stuff the doctors gave your mother.  She’s out completely…  Joan, she’s out with what’s his name,” Daddy answered.

“Bobby?”

“I can’t keep track of the guys she goes out with.  She must be popular.”  Then he added with a laugh, “I guess it’s good thing I have all my girls on the pill.”

“You’re doing it with Joan too?”

“Heavens no!” replied Daddy, as if my question was completely absurd.  “But, she confided in me and…  Enough about Joan.   She’s having her fun, we’re having our fun.” 

He reached forward and pinched Pepper’s pink little nipple, asking “Huh, Baby?”  Pepper flinched, and became even redder with the lewd teasing gesture.

Then he patted the bed, my bed, and told me to “come sit down.”  Daddy reached out and began unbuttoning my blouse.  There was a part of me that wanted to run and a part of me that wanted to stay.  I stayed of course.  I stayed because I was excited.  Excited because Daddy’s so bad!  Daddy unbuttoned all of my buttons and opened my blouse. 

All this time Pepper was frozen with Daddy’s cock up her cunt.  With my blouse undone, Daddy’s hands went to Pepper’s hips and he started her moving her on his cock.  “C’mon Pep-baby, let’s show Terri that’s she’s not the only woman in this house who knows what her pussy is for.”

With Pepper fucking him again, he turned back to me and simply said, “Strip.”I can’t remember the last time I told Daddy ‘no’ and I certainly didn’t disobey him last night.  The blouse came off, the bra came off, my skirt came off and my panties came off.  I still had on my high heels from church and left them on because Daddy likes me that way sometimes. 

I got back on the bed and knelt beside Daddy and Pepper.  Daddy reached out and ran his hand between my legs.  “Your sister’s soaking wet,” he told Pepper, holding his hand up to make his point.  “She’s really excited about all this.”  Now it was my turn to blush.  Daddy reached forward and gripped Pepper by both nipples and then pulled her down to him so that he could kiss her, kissing her the way he always kissed me, with lots of tongue action. 

I sat patiently, growing increasingly aroused, watching Daddy and Pepper grinding into each other for what seemed like forever, though I’m sure it was only a few minutes at the most.  Daddy suddenly broke off his unfatherly kiss, instructing Pepper to lean back and support herself with her arms.  Once she was repositioned, I could clearly see Pepper’s lips stretched around Daddy’s dong, with her little clitty poking out. 

Daddy then grabbed my nipple and pulled me down to his face.  What he whispered to me shocked me, but I did it anyway.  I straddled Daddy’s face and lowered my pussy to his mouth.  That wasn’t so unusual of a request, but then I did what else he’d told me to do.  I bent forward and licked Pepper’s clit while she humped his dick.  I couldn’t see her expression, but I did hear a sharp gasp.  Almost immediately, her hips were moving faster and with more urgency.  My own hips were moving too as Daddy did his tongue magic on my pussy.

Pepper began to squeal and Daddy stopped sucking my pussy long enough to moan, “Come on my cock, baby.  That’s it, come on Daddy’s cock,” then he really attacked my cunt.  With my tongue plastered against Daddy's cock as he fucked Pepper, I felt his big old cock begin to throb.  Daddy was cumming, cumming in Pepper's pussy.  A moment later, Pepper twisted off Daddy’s squirting dick.  He was just finishing ejaculating and was now only oozing semen.  I swallowed as much of his wet, seeping cock as I could, grinding my pussy into his face as my own climax tore into me.

For a while we all lay around more or less motionless.  Daddy suddenly proclaimed, "That was fucking great!"  He sat up, slapped Pep on the butt and had her roll onto her back, legs steepled and with her head at the edge of the bed.  He then had me get between her legs and clean up her cunt.  That was really strange, licking another girl, especially when that girl was my little sister.  Meanwhile he straddled her head and made her suck his cock.  Actually she didn't really suck his cock for very long, because once Daddy was good and hard again, he was fucking her mouth, running the entire length of his cock into her mouth and down her throat, causing her gag repeatedly while he pinched and twisted her nipples.  He did that until she stopped gagging and was bucking her hips into my face.  Then he pulled out, came around the to other side of the bed and ran his dick up inside me, fucking me the way I loved to be fucked.  Daddy knew when I was orgasmisming and having pleasured me, he pushed me off to the side, slid up between Pepper's legs and mounted her.

The three of us had a really fun afternoon.  There’s no question about it, Pepper likes sex as much as I do.  She also seems to like licking pussy more than I do, and I suspect that she's done it before.

Later in the evening when Mom was up for a while and Joan was home, all five of us watched Bonanza together.  Pepper asked me which of the Cartwright brothers did I like the most.  "Hoss," I answered with a wink.   Pepper knew exactly what I was talking about.

*****

Daddy just left.  He came in to tell me that he wants me to get back together with Jimmy.  What he really wants is to watch Jimmy screw me.  I told him that Jimmy didn’t like me anymore.  “What’s not to like?  I know, wave Pepper’s pussy in front of him… he’ll go for that.”

“You can’t be serious?” I said.

“Well, maybe not Pepper… not yet at least, but I’ve thought a lot about this and I want you to arrange something.  I’ll rent a us nice room downtown.”

He’s serious!  He was about to leave and then he had another idea.  “I want you to call Jimmy.  Call him right now and I want you to talk dirty to him.  You know, tell him how you want to suck his cock and all that.  How you want to run your tongue up and down his hard shaft.  Give him a pretend blowjob over the telephone.”

“You can’t be serious?” I said for the second time.  He picked up the receiver and handed it to me.  He was serious!

I called and Jimmy answered.  He didn’t sound all that interested in talking, but then I started to tell him about wanting to lick his knob and he was all ears.  While I talked dirty to Jimmy, Daddy was standing right there, listening.  He unzipped his pants, fished out his dick and masturbated just inches away from my face.  While watching Daddy’s dick, I talked to Jimmy.

Jimmy said he was alone, so I told him to take out his dick and imagine it was me playing with him.  I heard Jimmy softly cursing over the phone and knew that he was getting into it.  While I begged Jimmy to come on my face, Daddy grabbed me by the hair and did just that, creaming me all over my face. I heard Jimmy moaning, told him I would see him soon and hung up.  Daddy still had me by the hair, then he began rubbing his dick on my face, smearing his goo with it and making me lick and suck it off right off his dick. 

Far out and weird! Daddy can be so nasty! Daddy said we’d have to do that again, zipped up and left, telling me that he and Pepper would pay me visit later tonight.     

Mom knows!  Mom knows!  Oh, my god, Mom knows!

I came home from school today.  Mom was in the kitchen.  The very first thing she did was slap me across the face.  Hard!  Then she slapped me again and called me a tramp.  She was shaking with rage!  I was crying because it was so unexpected and it really hurt.  Then she grabbed me by the hair and started beating on me until I was as hysterical as she was.

She’s a lot stronger than I thought and she threw me on the floor.  She shoved something in my face and screamed, “What is the meaning of this, you filthy whore!”  It was a Polaroid photograph of Daddy and me in the mirror, doing it doggie style in my bedroom.  Then she thrust another photo of me, my face surrounded with cocks taken at the sex club, and another showing Jimmy and me with Vito engaged in a threesome.  God!  She’s discovered Daddy’s secret stash of pictures of me doing the most debased things imaginable.  There was the Polaroid of my gangbang initiation at the sex club with Todd putting it to me from behind while the members lined up for a go at me.  There were several 8 X 10 glossies taken by Carl, of me doing Jimmy and posing in the nude.

She also said, “No wonder he’s not so much as looked at me in years!  You ungrateful little bitch!”  She then shoved the photos back into a folder and told me to go to my room and get out of her sight.  I'm so scared.  What is she going to do?

Wednesday, Nov. 10, 1965

It’s all my fault!  All my fault and now Daddy is dead!  

When Daddy got home the other night, Mom tore into him.  I could hear her yelling and screaming at him.  “How could you fuck your own daughter!” she screamed.  “You get your kicks from this filth!  God, there are pictures of her fucking a group of old men!  Your friends no doubt!  And those pictures of her and her boyfriend!  Disgusting!  And you collect this pornography of your teenage daughter fucking you and everybody else in town!  You sick bastard!”

“It’s one thing that you abuse me, you sick bastard, but Terri?  You raped her and turned her into a whore!  I’m going have you hanged for this!  They hang you in this state for rape and what you did was rape!  Get out, you bastard!!! Get out!!!”

Once the dishes started breaking, Daddy left the house.  After an awhile, Mom came into my room.  She looked awful!  “Why didn’t you tell me?  Why didn’t you tell me when he started?”  Her tone hardened and she began shouting, “Because you enjoyed it!  You enjoyed it, didn’t you, you little whore!  You loved it!”  Then she slapped me again hard. 

I was still crying when a few hours later, the police came and told Mom that there’s been an accident and that Daddy was killed.   Mom came in and told me, adding, “I hope you’re satisfied, little girl.  But it saves us all from scandal!”  I thought she was going to hit me again, but she broke down crying and ran from my room.  Then it hit me what she said.  Daddy’s dead!  He’s dead because of me!  Oh, Daddy… I’m so sorry!

Pepper asked me why Mama was so angry with me.  I told her, “Mama found out about me and Daddy.”  Pepper was visibly shaken by that news, but I assured her that I was certain that Mama knew nothing about what she and Daddy were doing.

Pepper then tells me, “That’s not what Joan told me.” Joan had told her that she’d heard at school that I was a total slut and that I had sex with two, three boys at a time.  Joan then told her that Mama must’ve found out and that’s why she’s so angry with me.   Joan then said that she was ashamed to be related to me and that Daddy was lucky he didn’t know about me before he was killed.

I’ve had issues with Joan before, but nothing like this.  Yes, the stories she heard were more or less true, but… my sister hates me too? This was more than I could take and I broke down crying.

Pepper wanted to have a talk with Mama and tell her that I wasn’t the only one Daddy was messing with.  I told her, “Don’t do that!  Mama will hate you too.”  I then made her promise to never tell anyone about her and Daddy.  I told her, “No good will ever come from it, Pepper.  It’ll only hurt Mama more than I’ve already hurt her.”  I also told her not to worry about me, that Mama would forgive me and that everything between us would be fine again.  That’s what I told her, and she believed me.  I even believed it myself, but how could Mama ever forgive me?

I got a call the other day from “Jenny”.  She said that she was a friend of Vito’s and that “Vito wants to express his sorrow for your loss.”  She also went on to say that if I needed anything, that Vito would be glad to help.  Yeah, right!  I told her to thank Vito for me, but I really didn’t need anything.  Then she says, “Darling, if you ever need to pick up some extra cash, there are gentlemen who would pay handsomely to spend a few hours with you.”  God!  He wants to help by turning me into a prostitute?  I knew better than to just say, ‘no’, Vito doesn’t like anyone to tell him ‘no’, so I told her thank you again and that I’d think about it.  Okay I thought about it, about as long as it took me to hang up! 

Wednesday, Nov. 17, 1965

I really needed to talk to someone about what is going on; with Mama and now Vito wants me to whore for him.  I just wanted to talk, someone to hold me and let me cry, even though I know Jimmy hates it when I do cry.  So I called him and met him at Lakeside.  What does he do?  He takes me to his house and fucks me!  Okay, I admit I needed that too, but what I really needed was someone to talk to and Jimmy’s just not much into talking.

Thurs., November 18, 1965

Mama doesn’t talk to me, but Joan told me that the insurance company was investigating whether Daddy killed himself or if it really was an accident.  She said that they just don’t want to pay up.  She also said that if they don’t pay, we might lose the house and everything else.

I wanted to talk to Jimmy about this, so we got together again at his house.  Why can’t I get him to listen?

Tuesday, November 23, 1965

We were at Jimmy’s today.  We were in his bed when this woman walks in on us.  Jimmy jumped up out of the bed and went and talked to her.  After a few minutes she left.   Jimmy came back and he told me it was their next door neighbor and that she needed to borrow a cup of sugar.

“You always talk to the lady next door naked?” I chided him.   Jimmy was flummoxed and never did explain his behavior, not that I needed him to paint a picture for me. 

Jenny called again today and asked if I needed to make some money.  Maybe I can help Mama out and help Joan and Pepper too.  I know I shouldn’t have, but I said yes.  She asked if I was available for tomorrow night.  I already had a date lined up with Tom Lindley, but what the hell, I might as well make some money for doing it rather than just putting out for free.  Tom was furious when I broke the date with him (him and who knows who else!), but I don’t like him anyway and I don’t like his friends.  What a Thanksgiving!

I thought that I should talk this over with Jimmy, but he wasn’t home.  When he did get home, he said he was busy and that maybe we could get together and talk Saturday.  Saturday is too late. Besides he won’t listen and if he did, I don’t think he’d care. 

Last night I went to the address Jenny gave me.  She was very nice, an older lady who looked like she’d been around the block a few times.  Anyway she was really nice.  She had me try on several outfits and chose a short red dress that my boobs were practically falling out of.   Then she had another girl, Sandy, help me with my hair and makeup.  I hardly recognized myself after they were done!

Then I was taken to the Roosevelt Hotel.  It was kind of eerie to be back in the hotel where Daddy and I first had sex together.  An older gentleman met me down in the lobby.  He introduced himself as Roger.  No last name, just Roger.  He was old enough to be my grandfather!  He took me to Brennan’s for dinner and then took me back to his hotel room.  I needn’t say more.  I’m a working girl now.

Sunday, December 12, 1965

Mama has been frantic about all the bills that need to be paid.  I handed her everything I’ve made the past few weeks being an escort.  She didn’t ask any questions.  She just snatched the money from my hands without so much as a thank you.  Not that I blame her.

One thing that has been an unexpected blessing is my birth control pills.  Daddy had always taken care of that and suddenly I needed to get them on my own.  Jenny helped out in that matter and told me not to ever worry about that sort of thing ever again.

Monday, December 20, 1965

Christmas came early!  Mom said that somebody had paid off some of our bills.  She doesn’t know who it was, only that it must have been a friend of Daddy’s.  She said she now didn’t have to worry about anything until well after the first of the year.  Among the bills that were paid was the note on my car.  Whoever it was paid off the entire note!  I thought I was going to have to sell it, but now, it’s mine, free and clear.  You never know about some people.  Whoever it was, I wish I could thank them.

Jenny called today.  I told her I wasn’t going to be an escort anymore.

I didn’t have a date for New Years Eve and I wasn’t going to sit at home with Mama, so I called Jimmy.  “Sure,” he said. I was surprised he didn’t already have a date, but I’m happy he didn’t.

Saturday, January 1, 1966

I went out with Jimmy last night for New Years Eve.  He rented a motel room for our “date”.  I got drunk and threw up all over the room!  Jimmy hauled me into the shower, got me dressed and took me home. 

Oh, yeah, we screwed… we always screw.  That was fine by me, because I enjoy him so much.  He’s really not like all the other guys I know.

Mama demanded to know where I went and what I was doing.  So I told her.  “I was fucking Jimmy!” I answered.  Maybe I shouldn’t have said that, but she pissed me off. 

Two days ago, I was kidnapped!  I was coming home from school and these two cars forced me into a parking lot and blocked me from getting away.  One look at them and I knew that they were some of Vito’s friends.  I was yanked from my car and stuffed into the backseat of one of the cars.  They took me someplace near the river in Uptown. 

Vito was there.  He slapped me and told me that I owed him and that he wasn’t going to take any shit from one of his whores.  “Who do you think helped your mama out?” he sneered.  “I own your cunt, and you’ll do as you’re told.  Otherwise, something just might happen to your mother, and then where will you and your sisters be?  I’ll tell you… all three of you will be working on your backs for me!  You understand, whore?” 

Then he called in two of his goons. The one that I remember the most, the one that hurt me, he really looked like a goon.  He had be the ugliest guy I’ve ever seen in my entire life! He must’ve been six foot six and was the size of a refrigerator with no neck and a head that was the size of a basketball! His face was very fleshy and his eyes were set so far back into his skull that you couldn’t see any white of his eyes, just expressionless dark points.  To make him look even worse, his face was badly pockmarked and he had several nasty long scars across his scowling face.

“I don’t want any marks on her,” Vito said and then he turned them loose on me!  The other guy grabbed my arms behind my back while the ugly SOB stood in front of me.  I can’t get out of my mind the evil smile that was on his face.  Suddenly my ears were ringing after the first open handed slap to the side of my head.  Then he hit me again and again.  He hurt me, he really hurt me.  Then somehow I was naked and the big animal was slapping my tits, first one then the other.  I begged him to stop, but he kept slapping my tits, over and over.  God, they hurt so much!  They began to swell and they both became so heavy that I thought they would burst.  Still the bastard slapped my tits, sometimes just catching my poor nipples. I never knew my tits could hurt so much. 

My arms were released and I crumpled to the floor, crying.  Then they raped me.  Really raped me.   It wasn't anything like when Nick and the guys would hustle me off and take me... that was all in good fun, for them and somewhat for me, but this wasn't fun at all.   I know I was hysterical and I couldn’t see because I was crying so much, but he kept slapping me, fucking me, and slapping me some more.  That ugly bastard was huge!  He didn’t have a cock, he had a club, a club that he punished me with.  I thought I was going to die! The entire time this was happening, Vito sat in a chair and watched. Finally it was over. They left me crumpled up on the floor sobbing.    I must’ve have cried for at least an hour before I could get myself dressed for the trip back to my car.

Luckily I was able to get into the house without anyone seeing me or my torn clothes.  I took a long bath and then checked out my injuries in the mirror.  There weren’t any, bruises that is, but I’m still sore as hell.  I cried myself to sleep.  After two days, my poor pussy is still sore, but at least the swelling in my tits went down after a day.   Even so, I still haven’t been able to wear a bra.

I wish I could talk to somebody about all this, anybody, but I can’t.  I’d tell Jimmy, but he’d just get mad, do something stupid and get himself hurt.  If Daddy was here, he’d know what to do, but I suspect he’d enjoy watching the whole thing with Vito.  I don’t mean that, Daddy, honest, it’s just that you were really acting so weird before…

Talk to Mama?   Mama got mad at me for “staying out all night doing who knows what.”  That was followed by a loving,”I really don’t give a damn what you do.”  Maybe I should just runaway.  Run as far from this place as I can, but I’m too scared and I’d miss Pepper so much.