Rain and other little things of life

I like rain. Even when I was a little boy I enjoyed being outside, rain pouring on my head, and my parents would scorn me for doing that. I learned to not let others see me. When it rained and I couldn't go out, I just stood by the window, watching the cold drops falling down and wishing I was outside. You learn to avoid a lot of little things of life, things that you wish to do but would get you side looks and disapproval. Tons of things you can't do: sweep your dish with bread to get the rest of the sauce, because it's not polite, as it's not polite to incline your soup dish to get the last few spoons, and that you should not eat the last piece of the cake (which apparently is to be left to the most impolite guest); and you should not say the truth, because everybody else lies and because everybody else prefers to hear a crude lie, because "I love your hair cut" apparently makes a difference in this huge universe we live in and "I don't like your dress" is an awful thing to say; but it's important to never cry when other people are around, even if you are sad and lonely, even if your love dumped you or a friend died you should smile to the next person and answer "I'm fine" when asked "how are you?". You must always say that you are fine, never answer the question truthfully. Even saying "I'm great!" is not a good idea. Why would you be great? You have to explain, and the other person doesn't want neither the explanation or to know that you are great, because she is not. Of course, there are the billions of tacit agreements that you were never consulted on, and to think that something kitsch is beautiful is a crime. And there's all that fashion business, something that is beautiful today will be awful tomorrow, the colour of the season and the length of the skirts will be hopelessly outdated next year, and John Doe, the painter/musician/designer/writer/whatever, who was nobody yesterday and a sort of god today will be old news tomorrow. But there are worse things, for example stopping to look at a flower. This will make you an odd gay, if you are male, or a naive girl, otherwise. It's just a flower, you are not expected to stop to look at it. You must have seen thousands of flowers before, why stop to look at this one? And a group of girls or guys pass by, whichever suits your tastes, and you have to stop to check them out, because it is what everybody else does.

After a while, you learn what is acceptable and what is not. One should not masturbate--or better, never let anybody else know that you masturbate. You have sex every day, with someone else that is gorgeous. You never spent last Saturday home, you were at a hip place, a place that you won't be caught in it dead six months from now. The little things you can't do: you can't sing out loud on the street, because everybody else will think that you are crazy. Never read a porn magazine on the subway, never say that Shakespeare in modern clothes is as boring as the original. And you can't wear shorts to work because they are not professional, please, how could anybody be professional without wearing a piece of cloth tied around the neck and not have their legs fully covered? Preposterous, unless you are a woman, of course. But you can't tell a woman that she has great tits, or she will slap you face. Tell her she has pretty eyes instead, and she will let you suck on her tits later. Odd. You can't stare at a couple making out too long, and of course you can't make out on very public places. That's what movies are for, to see other people doing things that you don't see in real life (you could see them, but you don't go to the places where you can see them). Remember, you do not watch porn. If pressed you did once or twice, of course, but it was so lame. Unless you are with male friends, when you are supposed to have seen all of it, but never too much. And you can't play children games, that would make you a child.

All these little things of life that are forbidden. Oh, before I forget, one last thing: you should also never be found with a sixteen year old girl tied to your bed screaming "Fuck me harder," even if she is having the time of her life and loves you shoving your dick in her ass and thee fingers in her pussy. This last one is very important, I'll say.