It was always skirts and dresses with her. She was one of those kinds of girls; you know the one, the pretty little girly girls. Me, well I was quit the opposite. I mostly wore pants. The only times I wore skirts was when I was around her. It's because she told me I looked nice in them. Sad, I know. Here I am saying I dress however I like and don't conform to trends and then a twelve-year-old gives me just one compliment and what happens? I change the way I dress just for her. That's just the kind of hold she has on me.

Normally you'd think a girl like her would have tons of friends. Her wardrobe could have been a room in itself and each item of clothing was worth more than all my clothes put together. That wasn't the case though. A lot of people assumed her a snob, a spoilt daddy's little princess. It wasn't fair that they thought of her in this way. She never bragged and I never once felt like she was looking down on me.

Her shyness didn't help either. I think they thought the reason she didn't talk to them was because they weren't good enough for her when really she was just too frightened.

They just didn't know her well enough. I'd known her so long there was barely a thing I didn't know and I could read her expressions like a book. Since we were just little kids I'd known her and even though we were three years apart, we went to the same school and always played together. She was now in 6th grade and I in 9th. She had so much trouble with school because she didn't know anyone in her classes. I managed to make friends quickly but she felt so alone.

I was always waiting for her at recess and lunch and I introduced her to my friends. I don't think she felt right with my friends though. They were older and too much like me, outspoken and confident. She just sunk into the background. It took her a while but eventually she made some of her own friends from her classes. I was happy for her and they seemed to fit with her better. They were kind of quiet like her and very focused on their studies.

Honestly, most people found it a wonder me and her had been such good friends for so long. But when it was just the two of us together I got to see her laugh and be who she really was. You'd think our ages and personalities would have clashed but they fitted together perfectly.

So at school she hung out with her group of friends and I with mine. Sometimes I went over to her group and talked to her but soon left because I don't think her friends liked me being around. I didn't mind. I was just happy she'd made some friends.

After-school and every weekend was our time. She'd either walk home with me after school or we'd just talk on the phone. On weekends I pretty much lived at her house but that's the way it had always been.

084; 084; 084; 084;

"Guess who?" I cooed, glomping her from behind as she stood in a circle with her friends.

"Hi Paige," she replied cheerfully without even having to look.

I went around to her side and gave her a bright smile she returned it with a small but genuine one.

"Aw how'd you know it was me?" I asked.

"You're the only person who does that to me."

"Man, I guess I need to come up with a new way to surprise you. Hmm... surprise sex?" she giggled but stopped when she saw her friends looking at me as if I was from another planet.

I smiled, giving her a kiss on the cheek before heading over to my friends who had congregated not far away.

I knew I shouldn't be eavesdropping but I couldn't help but to listen to what her and her friends were saying, especially since it was about me.

"I wish she would stop coming over to us," one of them said quietly.

"Why are you friends with her anyway, Cassie? She's fifteen and she's so... weird."

Then I heard Cassie's tiny voice. She sounded unsure of what she was saying.

"Paige and I have always been friends," she replied softly so that I had to strain to hear her.

"Is she a lesbian or something? She's always clinging to you. I'd be freaked out if I were you."

I frowned and clenched my fist at that comment but didn't give myself away. Cassie liked me cuddling her and stuff. So maybe I had a crush... and maybe I was... well you know.

"I... guess it is weird," I heard Cassie say quietly. I felt my heart break in two at her words. I know I always pretend not to be sensitive and emotional and stuff but inside my chest I was just as fragile as the next person. It got so much that I told my friends I was going to the dunny just so I could be alone.

What was worse was I would have to pretend I didn't know she said that because I wasn't supposed to know but I swore I'd stop touching her. I barely saw her for the rest of the week. In all honesty I was avoiding her. But come Friday she was waiting in our usual spot. I had invited her to stay at my house for once.

"Hello," I greeted her with a smile. She stepped forward and smiled up at me, melting and yet breaking my heart further. How I adored her but we were just friends. She wasn't interested in me in any other sense.

As we started walking for my house I was unusually quiet and she noticed.

"Paige," she said gently, "is something up with you? I... did I do something wrong?"

I looked at her for a moment then put my eyes back on my path.

"No, nothing's wrong," I lied, "I'm fine."

"But then why are you acting so weird?" she asked.

I smiled a little, a hint of sadness in my smile. "I'm always acting weird."

"You know what I mean. I mean weird for you."

"Don't worry, okay? Really there's nothing wrong."

She suddenly stopped walking, forcing me to turn to look at her. She looked serious and I knew what was coming. She never let me get away with blowing her off like that.

"I've known you long enough to know when you're lying, Paige," she said, looking at me almost sadly, with the round green puppy dog eyes of hers.

"Come on," I said, pulling on her arm to get her to keep walking. "I'm okay now, k?"

"I'll drop it for now. But you know you can't escape telling me eventually."

And she didn't drop it. In fact as soon as the two of us had entered the house she brought it up again.

"So what is it?" she asked, sitting on my bed and watching me sort through my CD collection.

"What's what?" I asked as I pulled out a CD I liked and moved over to the CD player. I already knew what she was talking about. I was just trying to avoid talking to her about it because I had no idea what I would say.

What was wrong with me anyway? Well maybe that's too obvious of a question. I had a crush on my best friend who was a girl and just twelve, that's what was wrong. There was more to it than that though, I was afraid of my own feelings.

If everyone knew who I was, what I was, would they turn away? Would they stick up their noses in disgust like her friends have? 'Is she a lesbian or something?' they'd said as though it meant I had some kind of disease.

That wasn't what concerned me most though; no, it was what she would think that worried me. I already knew she'd think it was weird. She pretty much said so herself.

"I mean what's up with you of course. Remember we promised never to keep secrets," she said and she was right. She was my best friend. No one knew me better than she did but this was just one thing that was better left unsaid.

I pressed play and turned up music on my stereo with a smile. She smiled at me but I knew my stalling wouldn't be able to last so I sat on the bed next to her.

"There's nothing up, honestly." I hated lying to her and I knew if I looked at her I'd probably die from guilt.

"Stop lying. I know there is. You didn't even hug me when you saw me this afternoon."

I laughed, "So there must be something wrong," I said sarcastically.

"Well you always do," she insisted.

"If you wanted a hug all you had to do was ask," I told her.

"If you don't want to hang out as much..."

I looked at her, confused at what she said. She was looking at random objects in my small messy room, obviously uncomfortable and anxious about what I would say next.

"Just because I didn't hug you once," I said, "it doesn't mean I don't like you as much."

"Then why?" she asked, "there has to be a reason and you haven't called or even spoken to me since Monday."

"Well you haven't either. You could have if you really wanted to." It was a fair point actually. Why was I always the one going after her? If she wanted to talk to me nothing was stopping her.

"I thought you were mad at me," she said.

I sighed, "Let's just forget it, Cass. Okay?" I smiled, wanting to shake this serious mood. It wasn't like us to talk like this and in all honesty it made me uncomfortable. "I can give you that hug you missed out on if you like," I suggested.

She laughed and nodded and I took my queue to spear tackle her to the bed in a hug. She squeaked and giggled as she tried to get me off her. I rolled off her and lay on the bed next to her and we faced each other.

"I want to sleep in your bed tonight," she said out of the blue.

"Tough luck, I'm not sleeping on the spare mattress," I told her. I liked being this close to her, lying next to her, our faces just centimetres apart, feeling her warmth. It also made me feel awkward, as I had this undying urge to kiss her little face and I knew it was wrong.

"Guess we'll have to share the bed then," she said, making my heart beat faster.

Cassie and I spent the remainder of the evening how we usually would, acting like complete idiots and just being... us. She even got up and danced with me on the bed to some music she would never listen to if it weren't for me. She was more into the classical and jazz, stuff I wouldn't normally give the time of day. Even if this wasn't her normal taste in music she seemed to be enjoying herself just as much as I was as we bounced around to the music, her short blonde hair flopping over her eyes as she moved.

One of those rare slow songs came on and we stopped and she giggled and smiled up at me as she started doing our own version of the waltz, both panting from all the jumping around. It was times like this that I always treasured; when we were alone and it felt like we were the only two people in the world; when she smiled up at me and her eyes crinkled slightly in the corners with pure joy. What made it better was the fact that I never saw her like that with anyone else. I guess when you're as shy as her it's hard to be completely open and free around anyone but over the years that we've been friends she's opened up to me, and I was honoured.

Soon she got tired of dancing and lay back down on my single bed, staring up at me and stretching herself out with her hands behind her head. I soon joined her and we both gazed up at the ceiling of my room, my eyes focusing on coloured paper stars hanging from it.

"Have you ever been in love, Paige?" Cassie asked.

I was caught off guard by the question and it took me a while to think of an answer. The closest I'd ever come to being in love was with her and I was afraid she'd ask more questions which would lead me to confess.

"I'm not sure," I told her. It was sort of the truth since I always thought of my strong feelings for her as a crush. I could very well be in love with her but I hoped I wasn't.

"So you've come close to being in love?" she asked.

I didn't like the direction of this conversation but I calmed myself and just answered whatever question she threw at me.

"Something like that," I said vaguely, "why do you ask? Do you think you're in love with someone?" I asked, curious but also not really wanting to hear it.

She laughed and it somehow sounded a little fake.

"No. I mean I get crushes, but they're never on the right people and they're always really stupid."

I rolled onto my side to look at her, "And who do you have a crush on now?" I asked her.

She rolled over too and looked at me with a blush and a small smile.

"Promise you won't tell anyone?" she said, biting her lip for a moment.

I looked into her bright green eyes and almost decided to cover my ears to avoid getting my heart broken. I was the one who asked though, curiosity again getting the better of me.

"I promise."

"I think..." she now looked adorably embarrassed, "I think I have a crush on Darren," she blurted out.

My heart started to feel as though it was being hit repetitively with a hammer but I managed not to wince or show any sign of pain in my face.

I knew Darren; he was one of my friends in fact. People often referred to him as the boy version of me and vice versa as we were quite similar in facial features and sense of humour. People even went so far as to ask if he was my brother. Ironic really that the person she was falling for was someone so similar to me. It made me wish I could just switch places with him.

"Really? Why do you like him?" I asked her at last, giving her a forced reassuring smile.

"I don't know," she replied shyly, "he's just so energetic and kind and... kind of cute. But I've never even talked to him really and I think he likes you."

I smiled and shook my head, "believe me we're more like siblings than anything. I can introduce you to him if you like," I suggested. It'd pain me to see her with someone else but she was still my friend and I wanted her to be happy even if it could never be with me.

"I don't think that's a good idea. He'll think I'm a silly kid and I'll probably not know what to say," she said, looking anxious at the thought.

"It'll be fine. Just pretend he's me. That shouldn't be too hard since him and I have almost the same personality."

A smile grew on her face, "Alright I'll give it a go and you won't leave me alone with him, will you?"

I laughed and sat up, "Yeah, but I can't hold your hand on every date you go on, Cass. I'm pretty sure that would get awkward."

"Well," Cassie bit her lip again then spoke as she pulled herself up to sit next to me, "I don't think I'd know how to date someone. It seems quite frightening. But you've done it before, what was it like?" Her innocence was all too endearing and I found I couldn't take my eyes off her beautiful face.

"That was grade five and we just went to a fast food restaurant. Not only that but both of our parents were sitting at another table. I don't think it really counts as a date."

"But he kissed you, didn't he?" she asked.

I recalled that memory with an amused smile. "Yeah," I said, "his breath stunk of onions. It wasn't good at all to say the least."

"Then take me on a date that you would enjoy," she said, again rendering me speechless for a moment.

"Huh?" was all I came up with as a response.

"Well I want to have at least some practise so I can do it on my own," she said, "Besides," she smiled, "It'll be fun."

I guessed it's what I always wanted, a date with Cassie, even if it was only a pretend date.

"It's a date then," I said, "Next weekend?"

Cassie jumped up off the bed, throwing her hands around my neck. She was in the excitable mood that only I ever got to see. "My first date," she said gleefully, "What should I wear?"

I laughed and sat up, not wanting to let her go and looking up at her bright green eyes, then down at the sunflower yellow dress she was wearing. Everything about her appearance was light and sweet and childlike.

"You know you look good in anything," I told her. "You're beautiful just the way you are, Cass."

She giggled and sat down next to me, shoving me gently. "You have to say that because you're my date!"

Taking her little hand in mine, I leaned over and kissed her on the little round cheek. She looked at me a moment, her eyes appeared hazy and her smile had faded. The look confused me to no end and for the longest moment she just stared at me in that strange way, completely silent, both of us still as if time had stopped.

Then someone must have hit play because she snapped her gaze away from me and stood rigidly from the bed. I rose to my feet as well and paced towards her to see her face flushed and troubled looking.

"Cassie," I said gently, keeping my distance as though she were a wild animal and might sprint away at any moment. "Is something wrong?" I asked.

She shook her head but too rapidly for it to be convincing.

"Why don't you have a boyfriend, Paige?"

My face scrunched up in confusion and I took a step back as her eyes again fixed on mine as if challenging me to answer. Then I knew what this was about. She'd taken in what her friends had said.

The way she looked at me now was smothering, as though our friendship rested on my answer. I would have to lie and hide myself from the one person I loved most. All I felt like doing at that moment was crying but I managed to hold myself together.

"Haven't found the right guy." I said, my throat clogged with the truth I had to force down in a gulp.

She nodded at the answer but didn't seem convinced and I was afraid she would inquire further but instead she opened the door to my bedroom.

"Going to the toilet, I'll be back in a sec," she said before she left. Her voice was steady and almost cold and it left me frozen in place. Could she sense how much I loved her? I finally let out a sigh and rubbed my head, wishing I could just be normal for her. I didn't want to confuse her or hurt her but this was one thing I could never change for her and I had to pray she would never find out.

084; 084; 084; 084;

That night we watched TV and ate together before my dad came home. I could see there was something disturbing her but I didn't want to ask because I was afraid I already knew what it was. She got into her PJs in the bathroom and I changed in my bedroom, wondering if she still wanted to sleep in the same bed as me.

As it turns out, she did. She climbed into bed next to me and laid her head on the pillow with a sigh. I turned off the lamp but kept my eyes wide open in the darkness. I could feel her softness cuddled next to me, her sweet scent melting all around me in the dark. After a few minutes I felt her hand brush over my tummy and lay to rest on my waist. My eyes widened further and my breath hitched. Was she awake?

"Cassie?" I whispered - no response. So maybe she was asleep. I struggled for a while to get to sleep myself, enjoying the sensation of having her warm, little body cuddled up to me.

We spent most of the weekend together just hanging out and exploring the area around my house. We talked and laughed and held our hands, and there were no complications as I pushed my feelings aside and just let things be as they always were. But things couldn't stay like this forever.

During the week I came up with ideas for our 'date', my imagination running wild and the childish part of me believing that if I made this perfect she would fall in love with me too and I would finally be able to tell her how much I love her. Stupid, I know, but it was the only hope I had.

When Saturday came I was nervous beyond belief and had actually changed my outfit several times until I was satisfied with a black dress and purple tights. As I approached her mansion I had to take huge breaths to stop my heart from beating at an unnatural rate. I can honestly say I had never been so nervous in my entire life. I rung the door bell and heard the sound of shoes tapping against the floor in a run. The door flung open and there she stood, face as bright as always and her blonde hair a short and pretty mess.

She wore a short white dress and a cute locket around her neck. Finally my nerves left me and I was warmed by her presence.

"You look adorable," I said finally, causing her to blush and fiddle with the hem of her skirt which only made her look even more so.

"Thanks," she said shyly then looked up at my face, "you look pretty."

It was my turn to be bashful now and I mumbled a quick 'thanks' before rubbing the back of my head sheepishly. "Shall we get going then?"

She nodded and we walked out of the grounds together. I was tempted to take her hand, but let's be serious here. This wasn't a real date. This was all pretend like when we used to play house as little kids. I smiled at that memory.

"Hey, remember when we used to play house?" I asked fondly, glancing at her with a cool smile.

"Yeah I remember," she replied with a soft laugh, "you always played the dad and I was the mum."

I laughed too, "says a lot about me, doesn't it?"

"I guess it does... What were our children's names again? It was Laura and..."

"Benjamin," I finished for her. "It's like we're playing house again, cept' this time I'm your handsome date." I gave her one of my signature smirks and she smiled back at me sweetly, her green eyes sparkling.

"I suppose you are. What have you got planned for today then?" she asked.

"That's a secret." I gave her a wink as we waited at the streetlights. I'd been through a lot of different ideas for the date: see a movie, go to an arcade or go out for dinner somewhere. But it was such a nice sunny day I decided we should enjoy it fully.

"So it's not a picnic then?" she said, giving a cheeky smile.

"Oh this," I lifted the basket, "It's not a picnic basket."

She laughed, the corner of her eyes crinkling up in an adorable way. "What is it then?"

"It's uh... um...."

"A picnic basket," Cassie said.

"Yeah," I admitted. It became even more obvious it was a picnic when we started approaching the botanical gardens.

"It is such a lovely day for a picnic," she said cheerfully, smiling up at the bright blue sky which matched her eyes perfectly.

The garden was abuzz with life. Children ran around and played in the grass, birds sung, bees busily harvested pollen from the brightly coloured flowers. She walked beside me as I strayed off the stone path and through the pink blossoming trees.

I picked a nice place away from the others in the park, under the shade of a tree and put the basket down and took out the picnic rug, spreading it out across the ground which was dotted with light pink blossoms. We sat down and I passed her a sandwich wrapped in cling wrap from the basket.

"You really came prepared. I'm impressed," she said, taking the sandwich with a smile.

"Don't sound so surprised," I told her, taking out a sandwich for myself.

"Well you're not usually the most organised of people."

"I guess that's true but this is your first date, little one. It's important I make it a good one for you," I said, taking a bite out of my sandwich.

She let out a happy sigh and started eating as I poured us both a cup of tea from the thermos. After we had both eaten our fill of sandwiches and cup cakes we lay down on the blanket, looking up at the branches of the tree above us. I reached for her small hand and just held it in mine, feeling her soft fingers lace with mine. Holding her hand always filled me with joy of knowing that she was beside me and we were together.

Time passed as we spoke about jovial matters and laughed together. I was glad the whole Darren thing never came up. I'd hoped it wouldn't since this was our date and I didn't want to be thinking about her with someone else. I was no more content with life than I was then, lying beside her on a warm spring day and looking at her big green eyes and a happy smile on her face.

"This sort of date is perfect, don't you think?" she asked.

"Absolutely," I agreed, "the best I've been on."

Soon we grew restless and went for a stroll around the gardens. We'd resorted back to childish games as I put the basket down in order to chase her and this ended in a water fight as we both squirted the water bottles I'd brought at each other.

After a while the sun started going down and I, being the perfect gentlemen I was, started walking her home.

On the way down the street I glanced a scruffy looking man leaning against a fence in the shadows. I got bad vibes just looking at him and took Cassie's hand, making her walk a bit faster.

She gave me a confused look, having not even noticed him. I didn't look at him and told myself to just get up as much distance between us and him as possible. For all I knew he could have been perfectly harmless but I wasn't going to take that chance. Something about him just gave me the creeps.

"Evening girls," came his low voice, causing me to jump a little as he stepped towards us. I just kept walking, mumbling a quick "hello."

"What's the hurry?" he asked and I could hear his footsteps behind us. I sped up even more and Cassie was practically running to keep up with me, her legs a fair bit shorter than mine.

"Don't you want to have some fun?" he called out again. From the sound of it he was only about 2 meters behind us.

"Leave us alone!" I yelled back to him.

Suddenly his footsteps got much louder and my heart beat in a terrible rhythm. Just as I was about to break into a run to get us away from him before things got too serious, I heard Cassie squeal and stop moving.

When I turned I saw that he had seized her other arm and was staring at her with hunger in his eyes. I dropped the picnic basket without even thinking and tried to pull her away from him.

"Don't let your friend stop you from having a good time, pretty little girl," he said in his deep voice.

Cassie tried to pull away from him, tears of fear falling down her little cheeks. The man stunk of alcohol and it was obvious he hadn't shaved in weeks.

"No, let her go!" I demanded, still holding onto Cassie's hand firmly.

Cassie let out another squeal as I was struck hard across the face, making me let go of her hand and fall down on the hard cement next to the picnic basket's scattered contents.

"I wasn't talking to you," he growled, "I was talking to this little lady." I saw him grab her still flat chest with one of his big dirty hands. This caused something to snap in me and I was more furious than scared now.

"Don't touch her!" I shouted, getting to my feet and stomping my boot into his sneaker covered foot. Unfortunately it didn't have the desired effect and he only flinched a little. However he did focus more of his attention on me now but kept Cassie in his grasp.

He reached for me now, a look of annoyance on his face. I dodged his swipes and managed to launch my boot into just the right spot this time. He let her go, bending forward and holding his crotch with a red face and a pained expression.

Without hesitation I grabbed Cassie's hand and we ran as fast as we could towards her house. I didn't dare look back but we did hear his shout after us.

"I'll kill you for that! I'll kill you, stupid bitch!"

His threats got to me more than I wanted them too. I'd never been so scared in my life. When we finally made it to Cassie's front porch she unlocked the door and we went straight inside, shutting the door behind us. We stood in the front foyer catching our breaths. I noticed she was shaking and her eyes looked distant, still filled with tears. She had been even more scared than I was.

"Cassie," I said gently, touching her arm. She jumped and flinched away from my touch. I just wanted to hold her until she stopped shaking but the experience had obviously made her frigid. She would certainly never forget today, but not for the reasons I had hoped.

084; 084; 084; 084;

After that horrific event Cassie seemed to be avoiding me at all costs. It was practically maddening knowing that she was so frightened and I couldn't even get near her, let alone comfort her.

She wasn't the only one who was traumatised either. His parting words to me kept running over an over in my mind like a broken record: "I'll kill you, stupid bitch." Until the police caught him I doubted that would stop but more than anything I was angry. I was angry at Cassie and sick to death of being ignored when I had done nothing wrong. I'd done all I could for her and this is how she treated me?

I was now determined to get her to talk to me again so I could at least figure out why she was acting like this. Marching over to her group, I ignored her judgemental friends and put all my attention on her. She took a step back; as if fearful I was going to attack her or something.

"I need to talk to you," I told her.

She took another step back, her eyes looking from me to her friends, searching for a way to escape me.

"In private," I added, glancing at her friends with a look of distaste. I couldn't help but dislike the lot of them and every time Cassie hung out with them part of me was praying she wouldn't become one of them.

Her face still showed doubt and her eyes lowered as she spoke. "I would rather not."

On impulse I grabbed hold of her arm to try to pull her with me but I soon realised that was a big mistake as she tore it out of my grip and backed away even further.

"Just leave her alone. She obviously doesn't want to be anywhere near you," one of her more confident friends spoke up on Cassie's behalf.

At first I looked at Cassie with betrayal written on my face. She was avoiding my gaze at all costs. Then I looked at her friend who had spoke up, my face now showing resentment.

"Just get lost, dyke," the girl who had spoken earlier added. For a moment the word just hung over my head like a cloud until it finally sunk in. My wrath was set ablaze and this girl was my target. I grabbed her by the collar and shoved her backwards. For a moment she looked shocked, then she came at me with equal force. Grabbing at my long brown hair and tugging roughly at it. I responded by slapping her in the face.

By now students had gathered to see the commotion, each taking a side and cheering. We were just the day's entertainment to them.

"Stop it!" Cassie begged. She sounded upset and I stole a glance to see that she was crying.

As soon as I had lowered my guard the other girl shoved me back and I lost balance, falling on my backside on the ground. There was a moment then that despite my humiliation I was filled with remorse for being the cause of Cassie's tears.

One of the teachers came over, taking us both by the arm and dragging us to the principle's office. We were told to sit down outside the principle's office and were left alone. I twiddled my thumbs, feeling like the biggest idiot. I didn't even know the name of this girl and I'd been near ready to tear out her hair over something so stupid.

"I am in so much trouble," she said. I lifted my head to look at her, offering a smirk in reply.

"Same here," I told her. She was actually fairly pretty. At thirteen she was a year older than Cassie; her curly brown hair tied up in two pony tails and her face held with it some appeal. Her little nose was cute and round and her cheeks were adorned with freckles.

She laughed and leaned back in her chair, "how unlady like of me." I was surprised at how calm she was about this whole situation but I couldn't help but be dragged into her good humour. It was all I could do to stop myself from worrying.

"If it's any consolation you fight like a girl," I said with a smile to show that I was only teasing. There was no need to start another fight right outside the principle's office.

"I just didn't want to hurt you too much," she said, smiling back.

"Oh? That's funny because had I not held back myself, you would probably be in hospital right now."

"Then we would have never had this conversation," she said. For a moment we just looked at each other. I had just opened my mouth to speak when we were interrupted.

The principle had opened the door and looked down at us calmly. She was obviously used to students being sent to her for fighting.

"Both of you can come in now," she said and the girl and I sat down in front of her desk.

"I've called both of your parents to come and discuss your punishment. You're lucky this is both of your first offences because otherwise expulsion would have been my only option."

We both nodded and I started to feel anxious. I had only just realised my dad would be brought into this.

"Do you have anything you have to say for yourselves?" She asked.

"It won't happen again," I said and looked at the other girl and she looked back, offering a smile.

"It was my fault anyhow," she said.

I shrugged. "I over-reacted anyway."

084; 084; 084; 084;

We were told to wait back outside the office and pretty soon our parents arrived. Well, her parents and my father. My mother had left me in the care of my dad a couple of years after I was born.

He looked at me and shook his head. Her parents didn't even look at her before entering the principle's office. There was a moment of silence as we both sat waiting for our punishment.

"How old are you?" she asked suddenly.

"Fifteen," I answered.

"So why do you like Cassie? She's just a little kid. She's even younger than me."

I frowned at her and looked away. "Why the fuck do you care?" I snapped back at her. I'd almost forgotten this girl was a homophobe.

"The reason why I said that wasn't just because I didn't want you upsetting her," she explained.

I looked at her curiously for a moment then looked away. "Get to the point," I said impatiently.

"I always wished you'd look at me like that," she said. I looked back at her with eyes wide, not quite believing what she was saying. Was this some kind of joke?

"I don't even know you," I said. This girl; I didn't even know her name.

"I know you though. I heard a lot about you from Cassie."

"Then why didn't you just talk to me or something?" I asked, still bewildered by her confession.

She sighed, "I tried to when you came over to see Cassie but then you always seemed to hate us. That and I knew I didn't stand a chance."

"I...I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything," she looked at her feet, "I just wanted you to know you're not the only dyke in this school."

084; 084; 084; 084;

So I was suspended and the space around my eye was bruised from my father's disgrace in me. It's a wonder I resorted to violence with my father as a role model. Fortunately I didn't have school so I didn't have to hide the mark his fist made on my face with makeup.

Cassie came into my head again as I recalled my father's previous rages. She'd only seen him like that once since I always tried to make sure he was in a calm mood when I invited her over.

The time she had seen him like that had terrified her though. She was 10 then and I was 13 years old. She'd slipped over on the hardwood floor and in the process knocked the cabinet. One of my dad's dead mother's cheap ornaments fell to the floor and smashed, only just missing her.

My main concern was making sure she wasn't hurt but as soon as I'd helped her to her feet he came storming in, having heard the loud crash from his bedroom where he was drinking beer and watching sport.

As soon as he laid eyes on the shattered remains of his mother's ornament his face turned that awful shade of red and his eyes bulged from beneath his baggy eyelids. I stood in front of Cassie. I had grown accustomed to his temper and I wanted to protect her innocent green eyes from such a thing. That and I was afraid he'd lash out at her and I would never forgive myself for letting that happen.

He grabbed a clump of my hair and yanked it upwards, glaring at me so intensely that I was forced to look away, anywhere but at his face.

"You did this?!" he questioned.

"Yes, I slipped," I replied. My eyes filled with tears but I fought to keep them at bay. I wanted to be strong for Cassie. I wanted to show her how brave I was and that I would never let anyone hurt her.

"I'm really so-"

"Shut up! You think you can fucking run around my house with your little friend?! It's fucking disrespect. That's what it is," he told me, glancing at Cassie.

I chanced a look over my shoulder, "wait in my bedroom," I told Cassie. I wanted her to escape even if I couldn't. She shouldn't have to see this. No one should have to see this.

He took my chin roughly and snapped my neck back to look at his face.

"You fucking look away from me when I'm talkin'! And you," he looked at Cassie, "Stay where you are. You might learn sommin' from this."

"Dad, please. She had nothing to do with this," I begged. He struck me across the face several times then and I remember hearing Cassie scream out and start crying. It was by far the worst punishment I'd ever received. What wounded me most was seeing Cassie so scared.

He didn't lay a hand against her though, and for that I've always been thankful. She'd gone home as soon as my dad went back to his room and I'd been convinced she'd never come back to me. But there she was the very next day at school, by my side and holding my hand as always.

She wasn't coming back this time though. She was too scared to come back now and I really couldn't blame her. Maybe it's for the best that we took our different paths. I mean she'd become my obsession. I lived for the time I spent with her. And that girl was right too; Cassie was just a little kid. But why did I love that little kid so much?

Maybe now I could finally live for myself, no longer squeezed by the vices of my desire for her pretty little face or for holding her soft hand. Things would change from here on, with her power over me finally lifted.

My first move into my new life was to give the girl with the crush on me my number. I didn't know what I wanted with her yet, whether I would pursue my first real relationship with her, or whether we would just be friends. Either way I had made up my mind of one thing; I wasn't going to hide my sexuality any longer.

I wouldn't tell my dad of course. What would be the point in that? He didn't accept me as it was so what could I gain from telling him? My friends I would tell though and I trusted they would accept me regardless.

084; 084; 084; 084;

Mia, as she'd told me her name was, called me in the middle of the day. My Dad would be at work until 6 and since we were both suspended it gave us time to talk.

"Hey, how 'bout we meet up? I mean it's not as if we have anything better to do. Our parents would never know," she posed the suggestion. Having been bored out of my mind all morning I would welcome the chance to have some company. That and I needed something to distract me from thoughts of Cassie.

"Sounds good," I said then glanced at myself in the mirror. Shit, I'd forgotten about the mark my dad had made on my face. This would be too hard to hide with makeup.

"Well good. I can sneak out to yours if you want," she said cheerfully.

"Ah actually I'm not feeling too good. Maybe some other time," I told her, feeling guilty for getting her hopes up. There was a pause and for a moment I thought she hadn't heard me.

"Bullshit. What's the problem? You can come to mine if that's easier," she suggested. I was surprised she'd seen through my lie so easily.

"It's just that," I decided to just tell the truth. Now I would find out first hand if she'd run away at hearing about my hideous home life. "My dad was really mad when we got home and he left quite the mark on my face. I don't think I'd be able to cover it up..."

"You don't have to hide that from me," she said firmly, "Paige, if your father's hurting you, you should tell someone."

"All due respect, but that's none of your business," I told her. Maybe it was harsh but I wouldn't let her tell me what I should or shouldn't do.

I heard her sigh and expected more of a lecture but instead she surrendered, "I won't say another word about it then. Now, your address?" she asked.

I told her how to get to my house then hung up and awaited her arrival. I looked at the nasty looking bruise on my face again and poked at it, wincing in pain at its response. I tried my best to cover it with concealer and it worked for the most part but still the skin looked slightly inflamed and the attention to that place on my face was obvious.

When she arrived I caught her staring at it. Maybe if I hadn't told her it was there she wouldn't have even noticed.

"Well," I forced a smile, "come in." I offered her a drink or something to eat but she refused so I just led her to my room where I'd switched on the xbox so we'd have something to keep ourselves occupied with.

She sat on my bed and looked around my room with a look of awe. I didn't see what amazed her so much. The place was pretty simple and pretty messy really, the only surface that was completely clear of comics, school books, dirty clothes and empty cans was my single bed which was made with a great deal of hast.

"Your room is cool," she told me. I looked at her as if she was insane and laughed.

"You kidding? It's so cramped and messy." Not like Cassie's room. Hers was huge, well decorated and spotless. I cursed the fact that my thought had again shifted to Cassie so easily. It would take time to get her out of my system.

"But it suits you," she said, "and you have great taste in music," she added, looking at the posters which took up most of the space on my walls.

If she wanted to impress me, she had. I'd never met anyone with the same taste in music as me. Everyone else I'd met was either into mainstream pop, crappy generic screamo or in Cassie's case classical music.

"Oh? Well there's a music festival with a lot of great bands playing in a week's time. I have a spare ticket and I was going to drag one of my other friends along but... if you're interested..."

Her eyes lit up with unadulterated joy and I couldn't help but find it adorable.

"I'd love to!" she said happily, "Who's playing?"

I handed her the sheet of paper with the line-up on it and she scanned it and pointed out all of her favourites and which ones she was the most excited to see. It was like watching a child open her presents on Christmas.

"Are you sure you want me to come with you though?" she asked, her big brown eyes looking up at me with hope written in them.

"Of course. My other friends aren't as interested in this music as you are so it would be wasted on them," I told her.

She got up and hugged me tightly and I smiled. It was amazing how grateful she was.

084; 084; 084; 084;

I'd been spending a lot of time with Mia since our suspension, which really wasn't a bad thing and I seized the opportunity to get to know her better. After all she was the first girl to ever show that sort of interest in me and it surprised me how eager she was considering she was only thirteen and two years younger than me.

Perhaps I was hoping there could be something between us. She did have a real charm to her and I admired her honesty and strength. We also had a fair bit in common since she liked the same music as me. Like me she had a feisty side too, which I got a taste of before I'd even met her.

We had become pretty good friends and at school she'd left Cassie and her friends to be a part of my group even though everyone looked at her as a little kid. I liked having her around me but I still wasn't sure I wanted her to be my girlfriend. I'd been stuck on Cassie for such a long time, wishing I could tell her how I feel but being frightened of how she would react. Now she was no longer a part of my life and I was presented with the opportunity to show interest towards someone who would return it.

It seemed life had given me a gift, but I was still hesitant to take it because I didn't like my motive for doing so. I didn't want to decide to be with Mia simply because she was the first girl to show interest, heck, she was the first lesbian I'd ever met.

That just seemed too desperate and shallow, being with someone simply because I didn't have any other options. I'd seen it happen before with some of my friends. They're so determined to fit in and have someone to call their own that they say yes to the first person who offers.

That's why I'd pledged never to do that. But as I said I liked Mia... a lot. So maybe it was justified and I was just talking myself out of it. Either way I was definitely giving it consideration.

It was at the music festival that I made up my mind finally. She was dancing around to the music like a little pixie, so amazed and excited by every little thing. It was so endearing that I thought I could perhaps fall in love with her.

The last performance of the day was playing and we were towards the front of the crowd. It had astonished me all day how someone as small as her could hold her own in the crowd, but she was tough.

We jumped and cheered side by side as others bumped and grinded against us, entranced by the music as we were. You could smell the mud, drugs and smoke in the air but it was not a bad smell to me, a smell I was fond of in fact, the smell of live music.

The music thudded through our bodies, bouncing our hearts and controlling our movements as they played their last song. We cheered and dispersed as the band left and we all had given up on an encore. It was fairly late into the night when it ended and we were both exhausted from a long day and night.

As we left the grounds towards the train station I felt that amazing feeling you get after leaving a concert. It was like I could still feel the music in side of me. The thudding of the drums stayed in my chest and were in sync with my heart, then there was this kind of buzzing feeling I couldn't really describe. It was a feeling I adored and there was no other way to get it. I felt drained as we found a seat on the train but with that feeling inside of me I doubted I'd want to sleep until it was gone.

"That was amazing," she huffed, resting her head on my shoulder. I smiled at her and patted her on the head. I was staying at hers that night. It was easier that way as I didn't like my chances with Dad if I came home late and woke him. She lifted her head to pay attention for our stop and I leaned against the window ledge, looking at her with an easy going smile fixed on my face.

She was so cute with her curly brown hair in a messy bun at the back of her head. I hadn't seen her wear her hair like that before but it suited her. She glanced at me a couple of times, noticing me staring, then smiled and turned her full attention to me.

"What are you looking at?" she asked with a big smile, revealing her straight white teeth. It seemed as though she couldn't smile without showing her teeth but I liked her smile.

"You, little girl," I said, reaching out to push some curls away from her pretty face. Her eyes filled with hope and I just knew she was pining for my affection. I obliged, leaning forward so that our faces were only inches apart.

Her smile fell and her face only showed longing. She wanted my lips to press against hers and again I obliged. At first they only just brushed but she was quick to ease hers closer, hands drifting over my waist.

My hand touched her soft cheek as we took a few practise kisses before she went for a longer one. As my first real kiss it wasn't quite what I had hoped it would be. It wasn't bad or anything. In fact it felt good. I enjoyed kissing her. Just... there was something... missing. Maybe I expected too much from a thirteen-year-old.

I heard an announcement over the speakers and pulled away from her.

"It's our stop," I told her, getting up and heading towards the door of the empty carriage. She followed after me and I turned to face her once we were away from the train. Her little face was flushed and I could see the joy written all over it. She put her hands on my shoulders and kissed me again on the lips and I returned it gently.

"Best day ever," she said, taking my hand and leading me out of the station to where we were to catch a bus to her house.

Later that night I got changed in the bathroom and washed my face and brushed my teeth for bed. Her house was pretty nice. Not particularly big, but clean and well kept. When I re-entered her bedroom I found her with her back to me, just pulling her shirt on. She turned when she heard me.

"Sorry, I should have knocked," I said, putting my stuff down in the corner.

"Oh don't worry about that," she replied, taking her hair out and combing it, "we're both girls here, right?"

"That's true," I said with a smirk, sitting down on her twin sized bed.

"In fact, I think you should get a better look. What do you think?" she asked in a less than subtly flirtatious tone. Her fingers slid under her shirt and lifted the hem, revealing a teasing sample of smooth tan skin.

"I'm certainly not opposed to the idea," I replied, easily seduced by her teasing. It was too hard to resist really and I had a one track mind at the moment, with a tiring day and night behind me.

She pulled it up further, over her slim tummy and up her chest so that the material only covered the top half of her small breasts. I reached a hand up and cupped my hand under her right boob, feeling its soft warmth. It was a child's breast, still growing but lovely all the same.

"You like that?" she asked, her eyes focused on mine with a glimmer of lust. I nodded instantly and she grinned, encouraged to reveal her whole upper body to me. It was like I'd walked into a fantasy but yet in the back of my mind something felt wrong with this picture.

"I bet it's more than what Cassie has," she said with a little smirk on her face but I pretended I didn't hear it. She was gorgeous, skinny 13-year-old girl. But the touches I gave her and my lustful stare was meaningless as if it fell on someone I did not love. After hearing Cassie's name my thoughts were elsewhere. Still, hidden in the back of my tired cloudy mind was the glimmer of hope that I may fall for her if I just gave her a chance.

084; 084; 084; 084;

Cassie's group of friends were giving us dirty looks all lunch time as we sat in the shade together with my friends. I hadn't told them yet, but Mia and I were sitting so close together and holding hands all the time I doubted they couldn't tell.

We'd officially decided to start our relationship the day after we'd slept together after the concert. I was more anxious than relieved to have my first girlfriend, but I was new to this. I just needed to get comfortable, that's all.

I glanced over at Cassie's group. I couldn't help but be curious about how she was. After all we'd known each other so well for such a long time. It was weird not looking after her for once since it had become second nature to me.

I was surprised to see my good friend Darren over there chatting to them. Since he was so much like me I'd expected them to treat him coldly. Only, they were laughing with him and all the younger girls seemed fixated with him, especially Cassie.

Of course they'd act differently to him. He's an older guy and that was enough for them. If you're 9th grade boy you're automatically the funniest and most interesting person in the world in the eyes of a 6th grade girl.

He waved to them and jogged over to us with a huge grin on his face.

"You guys won't believe this," he said, sitting down in our group of ten. When no one said anything he continued excitedly. "See that cute blonde over there?" he pointed at Cassie and my stomach clenched. I just knew what would follow and it was killing me.

"Well, her name is Cassie and I just asked her out... and she said yes!" he exclaimed. A few of our friends congratulated him, but I just stared at him in disbelief. Well, Cassie had gotten what she wanted. So maybe I should be glad. We obviously didn't need each other anymore.

I kept hanging out with Mia and by a week everyone knew there was something between us. Mia was always at my side, every recess and lunch and she often wanted to hang out outside of school. Then Cassie started to drift towards our group, dragged along by Darren, who didn't understand how awkward it was.

As soon as she sat beside Darren he got up to jump on one of his friends. This left Mia, Cassie and I as the only ones sitting. I could sense her discomfort at this. Out of the corner of my eye I saw her fidgeting, wanting to leave but not wanting to run off when Darren had his back turned.

Then I decided to steal a glance and our eyes met. Hers quickly snapped away from mine but I continued to look. I decided to act cool, pull the other cheek at a situation most would find extremely awkward.

"So how are you, Cassie?" I said casually. I felt a nudge in my side and looked at Mia to see her shaking her head at me. I raised an eyebrow at her, confused about why she didn't want me talking to Cassie. I then gave my attention back to Cassie as she spoke.

"I um... I'm v-very well and yourself?" she asked quietly, her nervousness evident in her voice. She seemed almost frightened of me.

"Good... thanks," I replied. She looks at the ground for a moment then her eyes met me again.

"Why didn't you tell me you were...?" Her eyes widened a bit, alarmed at what had slipped out. She covered her mouth and looked away.

"I didn't tell you I was? Gay you mean?" She looked even more embarrassed at that and lowered her head, letting some hair fall over her face. "I don't see why it would concern you." My words came out unintentionally harsh.

She'd said herself she thought it was weird though, so why had she expected me to tell her?

"Y-you're right. I'm so-" Cassie started but was cut off when Mia finally butted in.

"You're the one who stopped talking to Paige. You probably suspected it that's why you-" Mia told her in an accusing voice. It seemed to be intimidating Cassie more and I had to stop her when I saw a tear run down Cassie's cheek.

"Mia," I said, giving her a look that said to shut up. Suddenly Cassie was on her feet, hands wiping back tears as she moved quickly away from us. That's when Darren turned to see her crying.

He reached out for her arm but she shook him off and walked briskly towards the toilets. He then looked at us, wanting an explanation.

"What did you say to her?" he asked.

"I didn't mean to upset her," I said, getting up in order to go after her. Darren made towards the toilets and I tried to follow him but felt a tug at my trouser leg. As I'd expected it was Mia.

"Don't bother. She's not your problem anymore," she told me. I looked at her a moment in contemplation then pulled away to go after Cassie.

"I have to," I told her, giving no other explanation for me actions. Maybe it was still just second nature for me to look after her and protect her, but I wanted to apologise. I found Darren standing outside the girl's toilets.

"I went in but that bitchy teacher pulled me out," he told me, glaring at a chubby older women who was still watching him from a distance.

"I've got this," I told him, "don't worry. She'll be fine." I then went in. The door gave off a loud creak and thud as it closed then there was silence.

My task of finding her was made easy by the fact that there was only one stall that was engaged. I stood directly in front of the door and heard her sniffle.

"Cassie, it's me. You okay?" I said in a gentle voice.

"I-I'm okay. D-don't worry," she said quickly, although I could tell from her voice that wasn't true.

"Honestly Cassie, I don't think a day will come when I'm not worrying about you," I said with a dry laugh and a shake of my head.

"Y-you don't have to, I'm not a little kid," I heard her blow her nose. The toilet flushed and she opened the door. Her eyes were puffy from crying but at least she'd stopped. "You're always looking after me," she said, moving past me to the sink to splash some water on her face. "But I don't want you to feel like you need to. I'm sick of being your burden."

"It's not an obligation, Cassie. I chose this. Don't you remember when we first met?" I wouldn't let her think that I wasn't there by choice. It wasn't that at all. I'd always wanted to take care of her.

I caught a glimpse of a small smile on her lips in the mirror as she dried her face with some paper towel.

"Yeah," she said, "I was new at the school in 1st grade and I was too shy to talk to anyone so I sat alone in the playground. Then out of nowhere you sat down next to me and gave me a piece of your cookie."

She turned around and looked up at me, pushing some of her blonde hair behind her ear. "You told me that you were a knight and you'd fought past dragons and monsters to find a princess like me."

I laughed, "You remember that much? I remember you were sitting in the grass and I was running around and picking as many daisies as I could and covering you in them."

She giggled; a beautiful sound that I'd missed so much.

"I think that was your way of winning the heart of the princess. You always did have an active imagination." We looked at each other for a moment and her expression fell, obviously done with reminiscing on the good times.

"I wanted to tell you I'm sorry, Paige. With what happened with that man... I was so frightened. Every time I looked at you it made me think of it and I just freaked out. Then, I felt so bad. You protected me from him and I should have thanked you."

"Cassie," I said with a sigh, "I was scared too. I needed to talk to you. I needed to know you were alright, but you wouldn't even look at me. Do you realise how hard that was?"

She hung her head in shame and then forced herself to look at me.

"Y-yeah, I realised that. I wanted to talk to you but... I'm not as strong as you are. I can't just face my fears like you can. I wish I could be strong like you."

I frowned and shook my head. "You don't really mean that. I'm only strong because I have to be. Nightmares aren't as scary if you're living in one. I just wanted to keep the monsters away from you."

It seemed Cassie and I were on talking terms again, something I was both glad and conflicted about. I had just committed to the notion of moving away from my infatuation with her, but now things were back the way they were.

Well, not entirely the way they were. We both had partners now; her with Darren and me with Mia. She seemed happy with him and I wanted to be happy with Mia, only I would never have the closeness with her that I had with Cassie.

It put me in a state of despair; that I was doomed to yearn for someone who never wanted me back. It was like starving when a banquet lay before you, just out of your reach.

Something had surprised me though. With the way she'd acted before, I'd assumed that she'd be disgusted when she discovered I was gay. It hadn't affected our friendship in the slightest though. I did notice her turn away when she saw Mia kissing me, perhaps grossed out by it. If she did find it disgusting, she never worded it though.

As I said, apart from our new relationships, things hadn't really changed between us at all. I was staying over at hers tonight, glad to be away from my own house. Dad had been particularly mad lately, so I was grateful for the refuge.

I lay on her huge four poster bed, waiting for her to return from the bathroom where she'd gone to get changed into her pyjamas. Even though she'd tell me all her secrets, she was always too embarrassed to get changed in the same room as me, even before she knew I was gay.

Soon she walked back in wearing some pink boxers and a t-shirt. It was hard for me not to notice what used to be her flat chest now having two small bumps under her t-shirt. She climbed into bed next to me and sat up, looking down at me.

"... I wanted to ask you something," she said hesitantly, eyes scanning the expanse of her bedroom.

"Go on then," I told her. She'd tell me anything, but her shyness still held her back from saying it straight up.

"It's about Darren," she said, and I could see her face flushing pink.

"Yeah," I encouraged her to continue.

"He asked me to... He said he wanted to... you know." Her fingers intertwined and her thumbs rubbed together. Now I could feel my face heating up. This was one of the things I had hoped she'd never talk to me about.

"Do you want to?" I asked her, trying to hide my discomfort.

"I think," she scratched her head, now turning her head to look at me again. "I mean I don't know. I think he really wants to and I want him to be happy."

I sat up and shook my head at her.

"You should only do it if you're sure, otherwise it's pointless."

She huffed and shuffled closer to me, putting an arm around me and leaning her soft cheek against my chest. I loved how childlike and small she was and I watched as she twirled a lock of my brown hair around her finger. I patted her head, finding her closeness as sweet as it was bitter.

"Have you done it?" she asked suddenly, pulling away from me so that she sat now, staring at me with her emerald eyes.

"You mean with Mia?" I said. Her eyes darted away from mine and I wondered if the thought sickened her, but she nodded. "No," I told her, "We've never gone that far," I confided.

"Do you love her?" she asked, looking at me now rather intensely, demanding I answer her truthfully. I was taken off-guard by the question, suddenly put on the spot.

"Well, we haven't been together long. Why, do you love him?" I switched the question onto her. She frowned, looking away as if dissatisfied with my answer.

"He's nice," she said.

"You didn't answer my question."

"Well neither did you!" she raised her voice at me, seemingly agitated. It wasn't often I saw her like that so I was a little worried.

"Why are you so interested?" I asked her, "don't you think it's possible, that I could love a girl?"

"No," she said firmly, "you can't!"

Shocked at her bluntness, now it was my turn to be angry. I'd never been disgusted in her, until now. It was that kind of ignorance that I loathed in people, and to see it in her... It revealed something in her I never wanted to see.

I got off the bed, facing away from her towards the door and with tears already gathering in my eyes. I was ready to leave.

"That's... really how you feel?" I asked bitterly.

"You can't love her, Paige," she stated again.

I turned quickly, glaring at her so she could see I was crying.

"And you wonder why you're so easily frightened... All you ever do is close your eyes to anything that doesn't fit into your perfect world. Well one day you're going to have to face it; kids get beaten, people get raped, girls can love girls and boys can love boys. Until then, stop crying to me every time you see something you don't want to see."

"Paige, I..." Her eyes were filling with tears now, but for once my heart was not softened.

"Grow up, Cassie. Don't talk to me until you grow up!" I told her, and I left, expecting her to follow but she didn't.

084; 084; 084; 084;

Weeks passed with not a word from Cassie. It seemed she'd really taken my words to heart, but I didn't regret any of it. It would take a lot for me to forgive her this time.

Mia had seemed overjoyed when I told her Cassie and I had a fight and I knew why. She still saw Cassie as a threat and I couldn't blame her for that. I tried to focus more of my attention on her now, inviting her over on the weekend. Of course we had to be mindful of my dad, but he was out at the bar for most of the night and early hours of the morning so we were able to make as much noise as we pleased.

I let her seduce me that night, giving into temptation as music flooded the room from my speakers. She took off my shirt and I hers. For a moment I thought we'd just make out, but then her hand was thrust down my pants and it didn't take long after for both our clothes to be discarded.

It all moved so quickly and I encouraged it, hoping that I would fall in love with little Mia tonight. Only I was left feeling hollow, still starving. My desire was satisfied, but something else wasn't.

The next morning I felt dirty and slipped out of bed before she woke, going to the bathroom to have a shower. When I returned she had just woke up. She smiled at me warmly and got up on her toes to hug me. Still warm from bed she felt so good to my skin.

I led her to the kitchen and got out some pancake mix to cook for us. There was a knock on the door and I left her to answer it. When I opened the door I was greeted by the last person I expected to see.

"Uh, hi," she mumbled and for a moment I just stared at her. Mia appeared half naked behind me and I saw her eyes dart between us.

"I'm sorry, you're busy I should go," Cassie said quickly, turning quickly to walk down the garden path. Broken from my shock, I ran after her.

"Cassie, you came all this way so you may as well say what you wanted to say," I told her, wanting to know what it was she had come for. She looked behind me to Mia, who had followed us out, then back to me.

"Could we speak alone?" she asked me.

Mia folded her arms defiantly and stood beside me.

"I'd like to hear what the kid has to say too," Mia said.

"Mia, could you wait for me inside?" I asked her, knowing that Cassie was intimidated by her presence.

"No way," Mia said firmly, staring straight at Cassie with a look of irritation. "I won't be told off by a twelve-year-old."

"This has nothing to do with you," I told her.

"Nothing to do with me?! This has everything to do with me!" Mia yelled, "I'm always playing second best to her! When you guys had a fight I thought that I'd finally get you to myself, but of course she'd crawl back like a baby she is! I'm so sick of her whining!"

"Then why are you here?!" I suddenly shouted back at her, realising shortly after what I'd said. My eyes widened and I went to touch her arm, but she pulled away.

"Good question," she said bitterly, storming back towards the house, "she's bad for you, Paige!" she yelled as she walked inside, "When are you going to realise she's bad for you!"

I pulled at my own hair in frustration and turned to Cassie with a glare. She looked shocked and flinched when Mia stormed back out with her bag, shoving Cassie with her shoulder as she left.

"Paige, I..." Cassie started to say, but I shook my head at her. I wasn't in the mood to talk to her. I turned and walked away from her, shouting back at her, "She's right, you know! You're bad for me!"

I was barely looking where I was going so I didn't notice until it was too late, a clenched fist flying towards my face with an unstoppable force.

Before I realised what was happening I had fallen beyond the front porch, hitting the cement. My head spun and my vision was blurred as I stared up at the figure I was able to recognise as my father.

"You woke me up, girl. You hear me? You and your fucking nonsense woke me up," he growled, looming over me as I stared up at him in a daze. He leaned down further, grabbing a tuff of my hair and pulling me up roughly.

"Don't touch her! Leave her alone!" I heard Cassie screaming at him.

I was thrown to the ground again and lifted my head to see him moving swiftly towards her. Cassie was taking shaky steps back away from him, holding her phone to her ear. He went to grab her but she dodged his outstretched arms and ran around the side of the house. I saw him follow and wanted to stop him but found I was unable to move.

"Cassie!"

I struggled to lift my body up with my arms but found the world fading around me until it finally went black.

084; 084; 084; 084;

When I woke I had little recollection of what had happened and was confused to find myself in a room I didn't recognise. The room was bright, but soon my vision was filled with a familiar face.

"Cassie," I said, "Where am I?"

"You're in the hospital," she told me, gently stroking my hair back from my forehead.

"Why?" I asked, my eyes turning to panic. Why couldn't I remember what had happened? I moved my limbs to make sure everything with worked.

"Your dad," she said, "You were concussed."

Vague parts of it started coming back to me now and I started to calm down.

"Are you okay?" I asked her, looking up at her green eyes as they were my only source of comfort in this strange room. She laughed quietly at me.

"You're the one lying in a hospital bed and you're asking me if I'm okay?" She smiled and stroked my cheek with the back of her hand.

"What about my dad?" I asked her.

"He's being taken to court and you're no longer in his custody," she said. Now I was panicking again.

"Where will I go?" I asked, "I have no place to go."

"It's okay," she said soothingly, "My mother said you can live with us until you're old enough to get your own place. Everything will be okay. It's about time I looked after you, isn't it?"

This didn't put my troubled mind at ease though. If I were to live with her, be so close to her yet have her out of reach it would torture me.

"But I can't stand it, Cassie," I confessed, "I need to get away from you. I have relatives in England that might take me."

She looked hurt, cut deeply by my honest words.

"I don't want you to leave," she said, the pitch of her voice lifting as tears clouded her eyes. "Please stay with me, Paige. I need you. I want you to stay with me forever."

"I can't be happy with someone else when you're around. I want to fall in love with a girl and be loved back in return," I told her.

"Then fall in love with me!" she told me, tears falling down her flushed little cheeks.

"I have," I said, "and that's why you're bad for me."

She leaned over to hug me and tears started to come to my eyes too.

"Then let me love you back! I'll love you back!" she said, pushing herself harder against me. I wish she'd just let me go, but she'd been clinging to me for so long that it was hard for her to release me.

"Cassie, you have Darren. You don't need me anymore, you're a big girl now," I assured her.

She pulled away from me a wiped her eyes, calming herself down.

"You don't understand," she said, "I thought about it. I thought about it a lot. When you told me you were my knight I believed you for years until someone told me that knights were supposed to be boys. But you've always been my knight. So I told Darren that I couldn't be with him. I just..." She paused, looking me in the eyes for a moment before resuming. "I wanted to tell you that girls can fall in love with each other because I'm in love with you."

For the longest moment I was too stunned to speak. It was as though all my pain and anxiety had been washed away with her words, leaving me with a satisfaction I'd never felt before.

I sat up and she hugged me tightly in her little arms again. Still highly affected by her words, I returned it lightly and ran my fingers through her short blonde hair.

"Please stay with me, Paige," she begged, "I don't want you to go."

"I'm not going anywhere," I told her. She released me and brushed her hand against my cheek again, her expression loosening and becoming more relaxed.

"Can I kiss you?" she asked quietly so that I barely heard it even at our close proximity. I smiled but it soon turned to a grin. I forced my smile down in order to lean forwards and press my lips gently to hers, a quick restrained kiss. She looked at me as if in a trance now, reaching her hand down to intertwine her little fingers with mine.

"You can do better than that," she said with a cheeky little smile.

"But... I shouldn't," I brushed my thumb against her plump lips, "You're too young."

She shook her head at me and let go of my hand, getting up to climb into my lap, facing me with her legs on either side of me. "It may be so, but I'm yours now," she said, "You better get used to it."

I laughed and kissed her again, this time letting it last a moment longer. All I'd ever longed for was summed up in that moment with her. It was all I could do to keep my heart from exploding with happiness, to finally be loved back by Cassie.

The End