Crystal, 15 and a Lesbian
My name’s Crystal but everyone calls me Cris. I'm 15 years old and I'm a lesbian. I have known since about the 1st grade that I liked girls, and not really boys. I always had crushes on the female teachers or my classmates, but I never really understood it. I thought it was okay and stuff, but in the 8th grade I had my 1st girlfriend - let’s call her A. We were dating for about two months before anyone else knew, so one day I told my mom, she thought it was a phase and I’ll someday get over her, but I didn’t.
I ended up coming out to my friends and school, everyone was pretty cool. I even helped make an LGBT group to help any other students. Well what I’m trying to say there will never be a good or a right time to come out, you come out when you feel you're ready and trust me there’s always going to be someone to hate or dislike you, and you will lose friends, but who cares long as your happy with yourself. I really hope I helped just one person who ever is reading. It gets so much better, trust me!
12 Years Old and a Lesbian
Hello, my name is anonymous (not really) and I am 12 years old in year 8 and I am a lesbian. I started having thoughts about girls when I was 10, but they were only tiny thoughts. When I changed schools in Year 6, those thoughts began to fade a bit. I dated a few guys, but they just weren't for me. But, in year 7, I met this beautiful girl in my class. Due to my crazy personality, we became friends really quickly. After that, my thoughts of liking girls became stronger.
At the start of year 8, I finally told her I liked her. I felt completely fantastic!! But I think she has trouble accepting that I like her. And she said no.....and that she will stick to liking boys. We keep that little secret all to ourselves. We have to be really careful about what we do, because my dad was my teacher in year seven, and teaches the year 7s this year, too. I haven't come out to my mum or dad, considering that I don't know what they'll do to me if I tell them....so I'm scared....
My best friend and I have been keeping this a secret for a while now, and I don't know what will happen if i tell any of my classmates but I think i am gonna tell them soon. Even if they will hate me forever, I will always look up to my beautiful classmate.
Kayley
Hi, my name is Kayley! I'm 12 years old and I'm bisexual.
I know its young for my age for being bi but I know how I'm feeling and I like girls and boys. Only a few of my friends know and when I did tell my best friend Lauren I liked her, she stopped talking to me and won't even look at me. It hurts but I know I will be happy some day. I never have had a girlfriend before but I like my best friend Ezri. She dose not feel the same way. It's really hard for me to find somebody that I can be in a relationship with. I feel like I will never be happy... I look at my female class mates and think "Are they a lesbian?" I just want to be happy in a relationship! All I think about is being with that girl in my class with long brown hair and blue eyes! I feel more attached to girls right now and all I want is to know more about them. It's really hard but I can get through!!
I told my sister and my mom. My sister supports me and for awhile she thought she was to! She always lets me spill about everything!! I love her so so so much!! My mom on the other hand thinks I'm just going through a phase and totally disregarded my feelings!! I love my mom but she can be really mean!
I just recentlly broke up with my boyfriend because I didn't feel attached to him anymore. I'm turning 13 real soon so I hope things will get better!
Sophie
My name is Sophie I am 15 years old and I am a lesbian.
I came to the conclusion I was a lesbian when I was 13 yeas old. I didn't know or didn't realize it fully until I turned 14. I was always one to have lots of boyfriends, I'm very popular at my school. I dated a boy for about a year but I know realize this was me trying to make myself straight. Over the last 2 years I came more to terms with the idea of being a lesbian. I first thought I might be bisexual because I hated making out or being touched by my boyfriend. I also started having crushes on my best friends and I thought back to when I was little and how I always wanted to kiss a girl. But I then went though time where I really hated the idea of being gay, it made me upset and mad. Lets face it, it would be a lot easier if we could all be straight. But in all honesty, I'd never want to be anything but a lesbian now. I go to a youth center in my city that has gay kids there so we all can hang out. There are other femme girls like me there. That's my best advice to you if you think you might be gay and don't know what to do. Find people who you think you might be. Just go on your computer and type in "LGBT Youth whatever your towns name is" I did and after a while of searching I found my people. I found friends and now i dont feel so alone. That was the worst part, feeling like there was no one to just talk too. Talk about your worries or your hopes or just someone to kind of be gay with. Its ok to feel like you need somebody. We're not made to do everything on our own.
Jane
Hi my name is Jane and I'm an ordinary South African girl. I've recently admitted to myself that I'm a lesbian but it wasn't easy doing so. I remember always being attracted to girls from a young age; I would even chase after the girls during kissing catches but I never understood why I did that. At the age of four, I told my mom that I wanted to marry a girl and she didn't exactly react well to that.
After the age of ten I became this reserved, quiet person who would fight with people at various moments during the year. Needless to say, I didn't gain many friends. It was a pattern that formed until this year when I just had a moment when I realised I'm not this person who's so serious and quiet and reserved. I began uncovering many painful things from my past which I kept hidden: you see my family is one which is obsessed with maintaining the perfect image even if it's to the detriment of various family members. I cut out various family members- including my father from my life and I began changing my circle of friends as well. I also decided to stop being a Christian because I never really related to Christianity and I decided to become very spiritual.
I remember one moment during meditation where my inner voice you could say said to me "you're gay!" At first I tried to deny it and I told myself that I'm either pan- or bisexual; anything instead of being a lesbian. It took me a while but then I realised that I've never really been attracted to guys- except for fleeting obsessions which I would make up myself- but I've always dreamt about kissing my friends and being intimate with a girl.
At first I called myself gay since lesbian sounded like such a harsh word but I've now accepted that I'm a lesbian and I'm proud of it! I've come out to my friends and my cousins but not to my mom yet. I suspect that she knows but I don't want to confirm it for her as yet: the last thing I want to hear is someone telling me it's just a phase. I've also developed strong feelings for a girl I've always subconsciously like: I suspect that she feels the same way but either it's subconscious for her or she's also in denial about it. I'm willing to wait and see what happens though. I feel as though I've made more friends since I've come out and I'm really coming out of my shell at an alarming rate: I overwhelm myself at times as to how big my personality really is but I feel as though I'm being true to myself. It helps that I've got a few friends who are also lesbian/ bisexual. I've also learnt that love just happens and you start to have a great ife once you begin to remain true to yourself.
Jess
Im 14. I've known I was a lesbian since I was 11. Guys didn't even phase me. I really wanna come out to my family. I've come out to my friends and they're cool with it. They actually said they were happy that we weren't lying to each other anymore. Even the lady I babysit for for free tutoring knows and she still let's me around her daughter. I thought it would be really hard to tell my friends but they were like, "That doesn't change you" and we just went on being friends like always.
The only people who don't know are my family. I have a gay brother and when he came my mom just said "I loved you yesterday. Why wouldn't I love you today? Youre still the same person." But she's told me on countless occasions that if I were to be lesbian or bisexual then she wouldn't be able to deal with me. It really confused me. You will love your gay son for who he is, but you can use the same logic for your lesbian daughter? I haven't told her yet. And it will probably be a long time before I can, considering I want to be able to afford to live by myself in case she kicks me out. I think it's really sad, that while all my friends and people I know can accept me, my mother, of all people, who accepted her gay son, will never accept me. I will come out to her. Eventually.
Jasmine
I am a 15 year old lesbian who has been hiding her sexuality because I am afraid of what people may say. I have dated boys in the past but it has never felt right. I know this amazing bi girl and we once agreed that we would make out just to see what it was like. It was incredible. I want her to be mine so badly it hurts. She came into my life and I dont want her to go. She knows how I feel as I told her one night and we slept together that night and I have never felt so good in all my life. Hopefully we will get togeher, she is the best thing ever. Do not be afraid to admit your true feelings for people as they may turn out okay.
April
Hey, I'm 14 years old and I have feelings for such an amazing girl.
I'm year 9 going into year 10 and I have liked this girl since year 7....for 3 years.
All my friends know and so does the girl I like, but she doesn't like me back. She isn't lesbian/bisexual. I'm finding it very hard to deal with.
I keep telling myself I'll be okay, but then it hits me. I'm a lesbian.
I kind of had doubts about my sexuality in primary (silly as it sounds) but I found girls atractive. However I never thought anything of it because I was young and I thought maybe every girl at my age goes through it. I fully understood what a lesbian was due to my nieghboors who were a lesbian couple. I have never been against lesbians in my life because I've always known it's normal. But I can't seem to deal with it myself. It's really killing me.
I guess now that the girl who I like knows I like her has gotten closer to me as like a friend. We're not bestfriends but I want to get closer to her. Not like going out but I honestly really care for her. I'd do anything for her.
I have trouble with nerves and I get nervous doing alot of things. I have trouble eating in front of my bestfriend because of my nerves but she said do it for the girl you like. I ate. That's one of the hardest things for me in life to eat in front of people. But I did it for her and also my best friend.
I don't have anybody to talk to who's in my situation. I have my bestfriend yes but she doesn't know what I'm feeling. She try to understand but she could never say I know how you feel. None of the people who I know can say that. I just need someone in my situation where the feel that their feelings are so strong for a girl they would do anything. I need someone to talk too who's in my shoes.
Aurora
Ever since 4th grade I have had lesbian thoughts and feelings because all of my male role-models in my life have been abusive to my mom and I. I'm almost 14 now and I have had a major crush on my BFF for 3 years now. I haven't opened up to anyone about it yet, but the first person I want to tell is her. She may not understand how I feel and our friendship might be hurt but I know it's the right thing to do because I always think about her no matter where I am or what I'm doing. Both of us have talked about our sexual feelings before, but it tends to get very awkward so we stop. We have always told each other everything so it feels wrong to not admit it.
Recently, it has been really hard to prevent myself from doing something stupid when I'm with her. We have messed around before, but it has never been anything serious. Now all I need to do is sum up some bravery and wait for the right moment to tell her...
I was really reluctant to tel my story at first, but then I read the other stories and I could tell it helped them.
Jen
I am 15 years old, I just had my first girlfriend but she broke up with me a couple days ago for reasons that I'm still confused about. She hurt me a lot when she told me that she thought I was using her to see if I really liked girls. I'm having a really hard time now because of what she said. So stupid, but I don't think that people understand me. I don't know who to talk to about it because I'm scared of what can happen if people knew how I felt and use it against me. My mother says that I don't know what I want, she doesn't accept that her own brother is gay. I don't know what to do, I just want to give up on trying to be with someone because I'm so clueless. I am sure about one thing though, I've liked girls since I was about 10 years old. I find them more beautiful and caring than any men. Don't get me wrong I get along with guys just fine, as a matter a fact I believe I have more guy friends because I feel comfortable with them. I don't get nervous like when I'm with a girl. I guess my ex didn't understood me, but then again she didn't even try to work things out. I'm only trying to give her what she wanted, to be friends. But how can I do that when she doesn't try to have a talk with me. Should I just let her go and never talk to her again...
Kayla
Hi, I'm Kayla and I'm 15 years old, nearly 16 :)
I'm bisexual, but I tend to lean towards girls more.
I was 13 when I realised that I liked girls as well as boys. When I was 8-10 I used to kiss my friend when she was at my place, but I never actually comprehended that this was different, because it just felt natural! I've liked my straight friend for two years now, it sort of sucks :/
I haven't yet had a girlfriend, but I had a boyfriend last year. Now that I think about it, I didn't actually like him much. I broke up with him after 3 months because I didn't feel the same way and it would've been horrible of me to lead him on. I'm really shy, so that's the only relationship that I've had.
Most (if not all) of my friends know. I told my best friend straight away, and when I was 14 I told some of my other friends. I have a LOT of bisexual friends, which sort of surprised me. One of my closest friends doesn't understand homo/bisexuality though, so I didn't tell her. However a 'rumour' went around my class that I was bi and she found out. She hasn't confronted/asked me about it, but I'm going to write her a letter explaining why I didn't tell her and that I've never liked her as more than a friend etc. She's fine with me being bi, she just doesn't understand the concept of it. My family don't know. Either that or they're hiding it from me. I don't think I've ever given them reason to suspect it lol.
So that's pretty much my story :)
Caitlyn
I am a 15 year old bisexual, and my entire life I thought I was completely straight. I liked boys, and I love to have the doting boyfriend and what not, and never thought of girls in any other way besides as friends, but as I spent more time just trying to fit in, something didn't feel quite right. I tried to be like other girls, to like only boys and dated a few, and the relationships were great, but there was a new girl who transferred into my school 2 years ago and as we became good friends, I found that I had a crush on her. A year after she transferred, a mutual friend threw a slumber party and afterwords, my friend (the transfer student) wanted to spend some time together so we went to the mall and did some shopping. When we decided to leave, she asked my mom if I could spend the night and my mom agreed. We stayed up late sharing secrets and the like and as we were getting ready to go to sleep she told me that she had a little crush on me and asked how I saw her. Although I'd been denying it to myself for the year beforehand, I got over my shyness and told her the truth and we started dating shortly after that. We keep it a secret from our parents who are extremely homophobic but after telling one friend and gaining a favorable reaction, we told the rest of our friends and they were more than happy to support us. We've both come to terms with our sexuality and have a philosophy that a person's gender doesn't matter when you like them, as long as they make you happy and the relationship is a healthy one, it's not right or wrong.
Momoko
I'm 14, and well, Bi-sexual/Lesbian.
I haven't really told anyone cause it's frowned upon where I live. I love women, just how they act, how they are, how they feel in my arms. I've had a fear of men since I was sexually abused as a child, yet I love butch women... or feminine men occasionally.
I don't plan on coming out too my Guardians since I was told to 'not come to them with that news.' I'm really waiting everything out until I can be who I am and freely love whomever.
I've seen Lesbian couples, and envied them so much... But never have I envied a straight couple. So, that is my little story... Secret love kept hidden.
Ashlyn
Im Ashlyn and I'm 16 and im a lesbain.
When I was 14, I started realizing that i liked girls. I tried to talk myself out of it for the past two years. I thought if i dated enough guys or found a guy good enough it would change who I am because my family is very religious and I am scared they will shut me out if they knew. I have a best friend but it's hard to trust her. I met this amazing, beautiful girl at a party but she didnt really know anyone I knew and we started dating. We have been dating for three months and I really hate not telling anyone. I don't know how to tell my family and I dont want to get kicked out of my house and I want to tell some of my friends but I still have two years of high school and I dont know if I can go from social butterfly to "that lesbain girl". I'm in a tough place and I'm scared if I dont tell someone soon I will loose her and I'm scared if I do I will loose everyone else. I know one girl came out last year and people gave her such a hard time she changed schools.
Lauren
Im 14. I've known for a while im bisexual. I've dated boys in the past and sometimes it feels right but sometimes it doesn't.
I met this girl last year, she's amazing. I found myself staring at her whenever I was near or thinking about her day in and day out. It felt natural being near her and I didn't know why, she is beautiful, funny and everything you look for in someone. Anyways I told her how I felt and she felt the same so we made the choice that we would start to date.
I told one of my best friends but she's a loud mouth and loves to gossip. I thought I'd regret telling her cause I thought she'd tell the school and I'm not ready to come out to everyone yet, but she hasn't told anyone. Then I told my bestest friend and she understood and she's supportive and listens and helps if I'm down with anything. Then a few months into our relationship I told my other friend who I was worried about telling cause I thought she might pre-judge me but she didnt, she took it well.
Not that long ago, 5 months into our relationship we decided to tell our parents. I was round her house and we were sitting in her room but we were joking about and I was trying get her phone and then we were cuddling and her mum saw.. Her mum didnt take it well seeing as I got banned from seeing her which affects our relationship, but we sneek around.
I told my mum soon after and she was really acceptive with it and supporting, as for my dad..not so supporting.
We're still together 5 months on and were really happy. Dont stop a relationship with someone cause other people dont agree with it. It may not seem natural to them, but it's the most natural thing you could do.
Kelsey
My name is Kelsey. I’m 15 years old. God is a HUGE part of my life. I guess you could call me a “Jesus freak,” most of the people I know classify me as that.
I’ve known I was attracted to girls FOR SURE for about four years. It tore me up inside, knowing that I was a lesbian and keeping it quiet, but at the same time hearing all of my best friends, who are my church friends, make homophobic slurs hurt more.
Lately, I have felt like God has really been talking to me. About two weeks ago I came to this epiphany that, even though I’m not straight, God would always love me.
Two days ago, I was the Lay Reader at my church. I had this gut feeling that I would have to read a Bible verse that in some way pertained to homosexuality. The fact that the verse was about homosexuality was a very big push for me and I took that as a direct sign from God, be that the case or not.
Yesterday, I was in the car with my mom. We were driving to Barnes and Noble, and I mentioned to her that I was planning on taking part in the Day of Silence at my high school. After I had explained to her what that was, she asked me if “by any chance” I was gay. I told her that you don’t have to be gay to do the Day of Silence, but even if I was I didn’t think it mattered. She agreed, but still wanted to know. So I just told her. I was shaking from head to toe. After we got past the immediate awkwardness of the moment, everything seemed ok. We even started to joke about it.
My sister has known for awhile about my sexuality, and I have cousins who know, and I think one even told the rest of my family in a drunken stage that he was in. I was annoyed at first with this, but at least I don’t have to do it now.
The hardest thing for me to do was to accept myself. Being surrounded constantly by people that hate you, but don’t even know they hate you yet is hard. I’ve only come out to two of my church friends, both girls. They accepted it fully and wholly and love me even more for it. I know the rest won’t accept me the same way.
I’m thankful for the loving family that I have. I wouldn’t trade them for the world, and I wouldn’t change who I am or who I love. Ever.
Dakotah
My name's Dakotah, and I'm bisexual. I'm currently 14 years old, and I have a boyfriend. I have been with girls before, two last year, who were both my best friends at one point. With my first girlfriend, we didn't tell anyone, and it didn't last long. She came over to my house one night and we kissed, a lot. A few days later, though, she broke it off because she didn't like the fact that I wouldn't open up to the rest of the world that we were dating.
A few months later, I dated another girl, Kayla. She was amazing. She was, and is, so beautiful. She had the cutest laugh and the prettiest smile. I was sure I was in love. We dated for about a month, and hung out multiple times. When my mother or her grandparents weren't in the room, we would cuddle, and kiss. I absolutely loved the feeling of having her in my arms. We only told our closest friends we were dating, but word got around school, so we admitted to anyone who asked that yes, we were dating, and we held hands while I walked her to class.
A teacher informed my mom and one night she asked me about it. I told her I was bi, and she flipped out. She kept telling me, "You're 13! You don't know what you are! You're just going through a stupid phase." But I knew I wasn't. Who is she to tell me who I am? I am sexually attracted to women. I can't help but to enjoy looking at breasts and nice legs and cute butts.
Kayla and I eventually broke up though, because we were sick of the ridicule we both received from other people at our school. I am now with an incredible boy who I love very much, but I know who I am, and no one can tell me otherwise.