First of all, I probably have a few other differences that 'opened my eyes' so to speak. My religion is Dianic Wicca, which I followed for about three years prior to my coming out at 12. I am a big fan of the Anne Rice Vampire Chronicles and Gundam Wing, and I am just myself anyway.
With Wicca, the religion itself is about being comfortable with how you are and how you live, what you feel, and who and what you surround yourself with. The Vampire Chronicles and Gundam Wing thing was mostly inspiration. Lestat, one of the vampires, has a deep relationship with one of the other vampires, Louis, who he made into a vampire, and many people pair together the boys of Gundam Wing; keep this in mind for later. I'm just myself because I belive that anything that I do is to help me, so I shouldn't regret it.
My best friend, who I will call Eva, and I are very open-minded people. We support homosexual couples in the sense that we would support hetrosexual couples. If they are good to each other and they love each other, we can be heard to say 'Aren't they so cute together?' Anyway, in the year 2000, I saw the movie 'Interview with the Vampire,' and decided the I would check the books out. I read the book 'The Vampire Lestat' first, then 'Queen of the Damned' and so on. Eva and I watched the movie every time that we had a sleepover together. Teasingly, I began to call her 'Louis', 'Beautiful One', and 'Merciful Death.' We're kinda goth, so she liked the 'Merciful Death' thing and 'Louis' was ok, because she just called me 'Lestat' right back, but when I called her 'Beautiful One,' I was 'rewarded' with a slap upside the head, in a friendly way, of course.
The next thing I knew, she got me hooked on Gundam Wing, a Japanese cartoon (anime). Her favorite was Heero, the Japanese pilot, and mine was Duo, the American pilot. You don't really need to know who they are, but in fan fictions, they are paired together alot in something called 'yaoi' or 'shounen ai' (boy's love). I began to read shounen ai of Heero and Duo, and thought that it was cute and everything, the way that they'd secretly like each other and go through these emotions when they saw each other, and I realized that I sometimes had those feelings when I was around Eva. I wasn't really nervous, but I felt weird when I was around her. I loved to flirt with her, or I'd just go over to her and say 'You're Pretty,' even though I knew that I was going to get smacked and told to quit. I got a lot of 'Stop calling me Beautiful One!' and 'Quit trying to be like Lestat,' or 'Don't smile at me like that,' over the past year.
That's kinda how I found out that I liked her like that. She was the Louis to my version of Lestat, and the Heero to my version of Duo. I couldn't stop thinking about her, the way her eyes always seemed to be laughing, her hands soft and her fingers long as to give away the fact that she were a true artist, how her lips were always pouty-looking and how I couldn't go one day without wanting to kiss them, be it as it may that I had a crush on a guy, who I will call Eric, ever since 4th Grade, and it was 7th Grade then, and I started to feel an attraction to Eva.
I finally succumbed to my feelings and reasoned with myself that I had fallen in love with the girl whose inteterests matched my own perfectly. Even now, we still find out that we do things and watch things without any verbal communication between the two of us. We were better than best friends, we were counterparts. Any character I associated with, she was mostly like the character that played opposite them.
I finally felt like I just had to tell her how I felt. I knew she didn't like me like that, but I had to tell her. I respected her too much not to lead her on to thinking that I was just playing around every time I complimented her or flirted with her. So I told her that I really did like her. I still hit myself evey now and then for that. She was open minded about the whole thing, but she became a little withdrawn from me, but we still had sleepovers and stuff.
On New Year's Eve that year I tried to kiss her at midnight, knowing that she didn't really even like to be touched. I was off, and didn't even get close as she jumped away from me. Then she gave a sound that was a mix between an 'eep' and an 'ahh!' scream. Not wanting to make her feel uncomfortable, I just shrugged and gave her dog a kiss, saying something like at least Shadow doesn't reject me. She just laughed and we spent the rest of the night watching her Gundam Wing tapes and Interview with the Vampire while getting 'drunk' on fake champagne. I still called her Beautiful One for another year and a few months until I found out what it was in Japanese. She hated that nickname more than anything, so I called her that just to get a rise out of her if she insisted on not talking to me.
We are involved in several projects together, including starting a band and writing songs and poetry.
I recently stopped flirting with her and stuff because even though she's open minded, I think she's still uncomfortable. I know that I love her more than anyone, except maybe Eric, and that I'll continue to love her, but being friends and counterparts right now is fine by me.