I remember almost a year ago I lay in bed not sleeping. I was worried about the next day. I was planing on inviting my best friend to go for a walk (as we often did and still do) but this time I had an anouncement for her.
The next day was foggy, it always is the the San Francisco bay area, and when Caitlin picked up the phone I anounced "Heya Caito, it's me. It's a beautiful foggy day, I think, I haven't looked out the window yet. Wanna go for a walk?"
A little while latter we were walking up to a litle park half a mile or so from our houses, we lived a block away from each other. Still do. Anyway, we were sitting around on the sand after jumping off the swingset and I began teasing her about the guy she had a crush on. She'd let me know about it a week ago but I wanted a name. Finnaly I got impatient. "I'll tell you who I've got a crush on if you tell me." I had for 6 months stated, very often, that I had no intrest in boys. Cait looked at me and pointed this out and I replied "I don't". She looked puzzled for a moment and then just as her face cleared I stated "Caity, I'm gay." She smiled and nodded and said "I know". She'd known for almost a year.
A month later, me and Caitlin and another friend were hanging around my house. Julie finnaly told me who she had a crush on and we went outside to talk. I don't remember how I got around to telling Julie I was a lesbian but I remember Caitlin's hand squeezing mine. I was really freaked out.
The next day my mom and I went out for lunch. She looked at me, "so, Amelia, what's this thing that your friends know and I don't?" I told her I'd tell her later. She looked at me for a miniute "Is it about Kalil?" Kalil was a guy friend of mine. I shook my head. "Is it about boys at all?" I said that it wasn't really. She was silent for a moment then she smiled. "And you're not a lesbian?" I nearly choked on my soda. "Yes, no, what?" I managed to sputter. She said she's wondered if it were true for years.
A month later, on Halloween, all of my close friends and I were gathered in one of our bedrooms counting out loot. I had been pretty quiet when I spoke up "Hey guys? What would you say if I told you I was gay?" Julia (not Julie) shrugged and said "I'd say I was happy for you." I took a breath "OK then, I'm gay." Julia smiled "I'm happy for you." Marion glared "Is that all? I've known that since 5th grade!!!" Tam just said one word. "Oh."
After that everything was easy. My French teacher guessed from a letter I'd given her. I sort of blurted it out to my lesbian PE teacher on acident and my choir director guessed. My sister got told I was gay and replied "You can't be gay. You're a girl. You're a lesbian." The rest I just waited for. Finnally one of the guys in my school asked me if I was gay. I said "yeah" and shrugged. By that point I knew I was totally out. I was right.
I've been luckey, it's been really easy for me, no one's been mean or anything to me about my sexuality. And I think that's because I live in an area that's very liberal and has a LOT of gay and lesbian people and families with gay or lesbian parents. A friend on AOL once told me that he thought that if you lived in or around San Francisco and you were a homophobe - RUN. I think he was probably right.