I should emphasize that the philosphy to which I subscribe values loving, caring relationships between women and women, girls and girls, and girls and women. I do not idealize girl-woman relationships, asserting they are more authentic than girl-girl or woman-woman. While I do believe there are significant advantages to girl-woman relationships (for the girl), I would never devalue other female-female relationships. Girl-girl exploration, crushes, love, sex, etc., in particular, have qualties which are mysterious, powerful and exciting.
My purpose is to assert that girl-woman relationhips are as legitimate, natural and normal as all other female-female relationships.
What about women, like myself, who prefer girls (much younger than myself)?
What about women who are only attracted to girls?
What about girls who are only attraced to women?
A mentor is "a wise and trusted counselor or teacher." I believe the natural order is reflected in women mentoring girls. Although it does happen today, it is substantially limited by prejudice and misunderstanding. And laws.
Why is it that women can mentor girls in some areas of life (academics, music, art, sports, etc.) but not others?
Why is romance off limits?
Why is sex off limits?
Why is love off limits?
Who better to teach a girl the ways of romance, love and sex than an experienced, trusted woman? This guiding G_W_L principle states that "women ought to teach girls." Girls teaching girls makes little if any sense. Those who possess knowledge and wisdom must teach. Those who do not possess knowledge and wisdom should be mentored and must learn.
I believe the most unique feature to the girl woman relationship is the "giving" nature of the woman. She does not take from (abuse, rape, harm, etc.) the girl. Nor is she selfish. Unlike certain others of the species, she gives to the girl because the girl's needs are her top priority. The girl is literally in control.
The teacher is not limited by how she teaches. Women can mentor young girls, honorably initiating and expressing physical relationships, including kissing, other expressions of affection, and genital sex contact.
Women bed young girls because the girls invite. Women romance young girls while mentoring because it happens naturally, rather than being contrived.
Mentors are caring, loving and concerned women. They are open to educational opportunities as well as love. They are most concerned about the girls they teach.
Who is in control when a close mentoring relationship (friendship, sexual, romantic, crush, love, etc.) exists between a girl and a woman? Lets say a woman of 30 and a girl of 10.
The outside world makes the presumption that the woman (i.e., adult) is in complete and total control, and thus the relationship is wrong. I believe this is based upon certain (too many) situations where males ARE in total control, resulting in forcing, exploiting and abusing young girls.
Let's forget males and think only of women and girls. Is it true that because a woman is larger, older, more mature, has more power, etc., that the relationship is inherently wrong, and harmful? I do not believe so. First of all, if a woman is "giving to" rather than "taking from" the girl, she is considering the best interests of the girl. What happens will be in favor of the girl. If both want the same thing (sex, for example), that is ideal and appropriate. Everything that happens should be mutually desired. When activities are shared, no harm can come to the girl.
Second, the reality is that girls are always in control, even though it appears otherwise. The girl flirts, she offers, she invites, she is seductive, she asks. This is literally her control of the beginning of the relationship. She is also in control of the ongoing relationship. (It is possible that after a while the relationship between woman and girl becomes essentially equal.)
Even if the woman tries to seduce or makes a conquest of a girl (which is quite acceptable to me), I believe that the girl is still in contol via her ability to say "yes" or "no." No loving, caring woman would ever ignore a "no" or mistake it for a "yes." If the girl is ultimately seduced, her behavior and her words are saying, "Yes, I want to be your lover." She consents. She is responding to a question, not always asked verbally, "Would you be my _____?" Third, age of consent laws fundamentally demean and dehumanize girls by saying that they cannot make decisions and that they have no competencies permitting decision making in the sexual arena. If girls can say "no" to "bad touches," as they are often taught in school, they have the ability and I believe the right to say "yes" to "good touches." Age of consent laws assert that girls don't have the ability or the right to say "yes."
It is odd to me that a girl cannot legally consent to sex with a woman although she can consent to sex with a girl her own age. However, the woman, because of her maturity, etc. is MORE likely to love and care for the girl.
As I argued in a previous post, the girl-woman relationship is both natural and normal. The girl is not being controlled, she is in control.