1. Against The Wall
I stood against the wall, staring at her.
And by 'her' I mean Madison. She had pinned me to the wall by my arms, and I couldn't move. Her friends, Elly, Cindy, and Joanne, stood behind her, giggling.
"Hey, Casey," Madison said. Her voice sounded kind of...evil... or maybe I was just imagining it that was because I was so scared.
I was scared because I had heard of all the things Madison had done to other students at my school. She had punched a boy until he had a bloody nose. She had thrown a textbook at a girl, who had fallen on the ground crying. That's not that bad compared to some bullies, but... well, we're only in second grade!
Madison had committed crimes before too. She could have been arrested if she were older.
"M-Madison..." I stuttered.
Madison laughed. "Oh, so you know me?"
"Oh course I do," I said. "Everyone is always talking about you." I wondered if I shouldn't have said that. Anything could make her angry.
"And the things I do to them?" Oh, I guess she wasn't angry.
"Yeah..." I was still cautious.
Madison turned around to look at her friends. "So, what do you think I should do to her?"
"Make her eat worms!" said Elly.
"Throw her into that muddy puddle!" said Cindy. Joanne nodded enthusiastically.
"Very interesting ideas," Madison responded. She turned her head back to me, grinning mischievously.
"Please don't hurt me!" I pleaded.
"Why shouldn't I?" she asked me.
"Well..." I said. "You can have my quarter..."
"A quarter?" Madison laughed again. "What good would that be to me?" She leaned in then, so that our faces were an inch apart. "I'm not gonna hurt you, so get a hold of yourself."
My eyes widened. She was lying. She was definitely lying. Why wouldn't she hurt me? I was just another victim. "Why?"
Madison looked like she was thinking about it. She finally said, "Because you amuse me."
Huh?
"Yeah..." she said. "You're fascinating."
"Oh," I said. Hey, was I blushing? If only I had a mirror.
"Oh, c'mon!" whined Elly. "You gotta do somethin' to her!"
"Oh I've got something planned," Madison said. Oh no. Madison was smiling at me, that same mischievous smile. She was inching closer and closer...
"M-Madison..." I tried to get a way, but she was tightly gripping my arms.
She kissed me. And no, I'm not kidding.
"She's kissed her!" Elly shouted. All three of Madison's friends drew back a little in surprise.
"You... you kissed me..." I said, in shock.
Madison was laughing again. "Yes, I kissed you. I know I kissed you. You don't have to tell me I did. I did it on purpose, and I'm aware that I did it."
How embarrassing. "I mean, why did you kiss me?"
"Because I felt like it," Madison replied simply.
"You can't just kiss me because you feel like it though!"
"You can't tell me what I can and can't do."
Joanne gave Madison a weird look. "You can't kiss her. It doesn't make sense. You both are girls."
Madison spun around, finally letting go of me, and glared at Joanne. "Well, what do you want me to do, Joanne? Kiss a boy? Boys are weird and gross and they have cooties! So I'm gonna kiss a girl, I'm gonna kiss Casey, and you can't say anything about it to anyone okay?"
Joanne was cowering back in fear now. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry Madison!" Wow. Even Madison's own friends are afraid of her.
Madison turned back to me, smiling. "Call me." She handed me a piece of paper from her pocket with her phone number. As I stared at it, my heart stopped beating.
Madison then looked away from me, and soon walked away with her friends.
I silently tucked the paper into my pocket. Slowly, I reached up and put my finger on my lips. I thought about that brief moment when Madison was kissing me. I don't know why, but I wanted her to come back and kiss me again.
I guess just because I felt like it.
2. At My House
"So, anything interesting happen today?" my best friend, Chloe asked. I had invited her over and we were sitting on my bed in my room.
Should I tell her about the kiss? How would she react to that? "Um, yeah," I said. "Madison... um..."
Chloe's eyes were already widening and I hadn't even gotten to the crazy part.
"Made you eat worms?"
"No..." I said slowly. "She kissed me."
Chloe stared at me for a long time. Then, she burst out laughing. "She kissed you? When? Why?"
"Well... at recess... I don't know why..."
"Did you ask her why?" Chloe's head was now on my pillow, which she had moved towards the edge of the bed. She looked interested. Well, who wouldn't be?
"Yes..."
"And what did she say?" Madison asked.
"She said that she felt like it," I said.
Madison started laughing again. "Wow, what a terrible excuse!"
"Excuse?" Huh?
"She likes you," Chloe said, smiling.
"How do you know?" I asked.
"Well, it's not like she would go around kissing people at random. That reason makes the most sense," Chloe said confidently.
"I don't know..." I said, unsure. "Of all people, why would she like me?"
"You're awesome!" Chloe said. "You're amazing! You're a great best friend to me and you're really nice to everybody! You're the shy type too, which is really cute."
"Cute?"
"Yes, you're totally cute!"
I wasn't sure how to respond to that. "You think I'm cute?"
"Of course you are."
I sighed. "I'm still having trouble believing it..."
Then Chloe asked me, "Did anything else happen after the kiss?"
"Yeah," I said, remembering. "She gave me her number."
Chloe's mouth dropped open. "She's madly in love with you, Casey!" she declared. "Call her, call her now!"
"Okay," I said, a bit nervous. Slowly, I walked to the phone, looking at the piece of paper and pressing each number, and beginning to feel sweaty.
I hoped she wouldn't pick up. One ring, two rings... "Hello?" Eek! What should I say?
"Uh... hi..."
"Oh, Casey! I wasn't expecting you to call! What's up?" Madison chirped, sounding much more happy than usual.
"What's she saying?" asked Chloe, trying to snatch the phone from me.
I put it on speaker phone. "Hi, Madison!" Chloe yelled.
"Is that Chloe?" Madison asked.
"Yes," I said.
I heard Madison groan. I don't think she likes Chloe very much. "So, why exactly did you call?" she said finally.
"Well," I said, swallowing the lump in my throat. "I was just... um... lonely... and... I decided to call you?"
"Is that a question or a statement?"
"Um... neither?" I noticed my hands were trembling.
"So, can I come over?"
"Yes..." Maybe.
"Okay, I'll be right over, Sweetheart!" Madison said, a smile in her voice. Click.
Chloe was laughing again. "She called you 'Sweetheart'!"
I didn't respond to that.
A while later, the doorbell rang. I ran to it. Sure enough, it was Madison. "Hi, Casey," she said, smiling warmly.
"Hi, Madison..." I said.
Madison kicked her shoes up and then ran up the stairs and into my room. I followed slowly, and sat down on my bed beside Madison and Chloe.
"Um... so... how are you?" I said. Calm down already!
Madison replied, "Fine I guess. You sure are shy around me, aren't you?"
"Yeah..." I admitted.
"I make you nervous?"
Why was she asking that? "Yes."
"Why?" Madison pressed. I was beginning to struggle with breathing.
"Because you're totally in love with her!" Chloe shouted excitedly. "Madly! Hopelessly! Pathetically!" I practically fainted.
"Oh, you are?" said Madison. She stared at me with a face that was nothing more than curious.
"Um... maybe?" I mumbled. Was I?
"Cool," said Madison, who looked pleased. "I like you, too."
I probably would have either screamed or died of shock if I weren't so dizzy. I wasn't even sure if I had heard her right.
"Yeah," said Madison. "So, wanna kiss me?"
I started choking on air. "Um... yes?"
"So, is that a question or a request?" she asked then.
I took a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves. "It's... a request. Yes. Kiss me." Chloe was smiling so hard that it looked kinda painful.
"Okay then," said Madison.
And she kissed me. I'm totally serious.
3. At The Movies
We had just come in from recess, and I was in line at the drinking fountain. After getting my drink, I walked over to Chloe. "Hey, Chloe," I greeted.
Chloe didn't respond to me. Confused, I tapped her on the shoulder. "Hello?" I said, giving her an odd look. Then, Chloe seemed to suddenly notice me.
"Hi, Casey!" she said, grinning.
"Um, hi," I said. "Uh... why were you so spaced out?"
"It's HIM," she said. When I raised an eyebrow, she pointed. It was a boy standing near the drinking fountain.
"What about him?" I asked.
"Isn't he hot?" she asked me.
"Um... not really..." I said. I hoped Chloe wasn't going to start obsessing over boys.
Chloe sighed. "Well, you wouldn't understand." She smiled again then, saying, "And you're already taken, anyway."
I blushed. "Taken?"
"Yes," said Chloe. "By Madison."
"We aren't exactly a couple..." I said.
"Well, why not?" Chloe asked. "You like each other, right?"
"Well... yeah..." I said. "But... it's not really that simple, Chloe..."
Chloe rolled her eyes. "Whatever. You're a couple in my opinion."
"I don't think my parents would like that," I responded. "They'd probably think it's weird, me dating a girl. And I don't think I'm allowed to date yet, anyway. I probably won't be allowed to until I'm a teenager."
Chloe suddenly jumped up. "Oh, look, it's Madison!" I suddenly got nervous. Madison was walking over to me, sure enough.
"Hi, Casey," she said. "You busy tonight?"
Was she implying...? I gulped. "I don't think my parents would let me date yet."
"So?" Madison walked behind me, then wrapped her arms around my neck, looking at me over my shoulder. "Pretty please?"
I thought about it. I looked over at Chloe, who was smiling and enthusiastically bobbing her head up and down. I am way too easily convinced.
"Okay, fine."
"Yay!" said Madison. "The movies. At 7." I just nodded. Madison skipped off, blowing me a kiss.
At home, it was 6:00pm. I had gotten dressed in a simple spring dress that I thought Madison would like. I hesitantly walked over to my mom.
"Um... Mom?" I asked, nervously.
My mom looked up from her magazine. "Yes?"
"Can you... drive me somewhere?" I nervously clutched the hem of my dress.
Then my mom seemed to notice my nice dress. "Where to?"
"The movies..."
My mom gave me a look. "Is it... a date?"
I wasn't a liar. "Yeah..."
Now my mom looked curious. "With who?"
"Some... person..." I took deep breaths.
"Well I would hope so," my mom said. "I wouldn't want you dating an inanimate object."
"Can you please take me?" I pleaded.
"Okay, okay."
"Yes!"
Once we arrived at the theater, I jumped out of the car. Mom slid down the car window. "Please be good," she said.
"Don't worry, Mom," I reassured. "I'm completely responsible." Mom looked worried, but she finally drove off. I breathed a sigh of relief. Walking into the theater, I quickly spotted Madison, who was dressed a little fancier than me, and even had a purse that matched her outfit.
"I already bought the tickets," she informed me.
That date was amazing. Madison bought a whole bunch of popcorn, which we shared. The movie was really interesting, although I was only half paying attention to it, because I kept glancing over at Madison. That was when I realized how pretty she was. And once I realized it, I couldn't quite focus on anything else.
Madison noticed that I was staring at her, and looked happy. "I'm not really much to stare at," she said. "But you sure are."
Once the movie was over, we walked out, our fingers intertwined. This was so... romantic... better than I had ever imagined my first date being. I never imagined my first date being when I was only nine years old, either. And I never imagined it would be with a girl.
I suddenly realized I had no ride home. "How am I supposed to get home?" I asked Madison.
"Don't worry," Madison said. "My mom will drive us."
Madison's mom had blonde hair and wore sunglasses. She looked like a model. I wondered if Madison's family was rich. The car was very clean. Madison's mom drove us to my house. Apparently she had thought we were just hanging out as friends, which I realized based on what she was saying.
My mom walked out onto the porch, and her jaw dropped in shock. It took me a while to realize why.
Me and Madison were the only ones in the car. No "date" but Madison. And so I had just gone on a date with a girl.
I knew she wouldn't approve.
4. At A Sleepover
Mom gave me a look. "Care to explain?"
I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think. "That girl with me in the back seat... was my date..."
My mom stared at me with a look that said, "I don't believe it."
"Casey," she said. "What were you thinking?"
"I'm sorry, Mom," I couldn't bear to look at her any longer.
My mom shook her head and left. "I shouldn't have trusted you," she said as she walked out of sight.
My heart felt funny.
I slowly walked up to my room. Then I began to cry.
The next day at school, I told Madison what had happened. "It's no fair," she said. "Can't she just give us a chance?"
"It's actually not our age that bothers her," I said. "Even though we are too young to be dating, she doesn't seem to care about that much. It's because you're a girl."
"Then maybe I should turn myself into a boy," suggested Madison. "There's got to be a way to do that, right?"
I shrugged.
Madison sighed. "Maybe we need to break up."
Had she really just said that? "No, Madison," I said. "We can't let my mom get in the way of us."
Madison didn't respond.
I guess we broke up then.
For the next five years, Madison and I didn't talk much. We especially didn't date. I missed her badly. I remembered how much I loved kissing her, holding her hand, and spending time with her. Every time I saw her, my heart beat fast.
My mom never mentioned Madison.
One day, I was at a sleepover with friends. Chloe was looking at a magazine full of boys. "Aren't they cute?" she asked the girl next to her, Aggie. Aggie nodded.
"What do you think, Karen?" Aggie asked. "Which one of them do you think is the cutest?" Karen pointed. "Oh yeah, he is cute! What do you think, Casey?" Aggie turned the magazine towards me.
I shrugged. "I don't really think any of them are cute," I replied honestly.
Aggie gave me a look. "You have got to be kidding me," she said.
"Casey likes girls," said Chloe. "Right, Casey?"
"Uh-huh," I mumbled, embarrassed.
Aggie made a face. "That's weird."
"Keep your opinion to yourself," I said, annoyed.
"She used to have a girlfriend," added Chloe.
I wished Chloe would keep her mouth shut. "She wasn't my girlfriend," I said.
"But you dated each other," said Chloe.
"Wow, really?" said Karen. "Cool! Why aren't you together anymore?"
"I don't want to talk about it," I said. "It was a long time ago and we were just little kids. Nothing serious."
"Gosh," Chloe said. "She's so paranoid. Can you guys believe she used to be shy?"
"Really?" said Aggie.
"Yeah," said Chloe. "We've known each other for a long time."
"You should get back together with her," said Karen. I was a bit surprised.
"Really?" I said.
"Yeah," Karen said. "Call her right now and tell her you want to get back together."
I took a deep breath. "Okay," I said. I walked over to my drawer, where I kept the little piece of paper with Madison's phone number. Then I picked up the phone. One ring, two rings...
"Hello."
All of a sudden, my shyness returned. "Hello..."
"Casey?"
"Yeah..."
"Woah... you haven't called in a long time..." Madison said.
"Yeah..." I said. "And... I want to get back together with you..." For a long time, there was no response. Then, finally, I heard Madison's voice.
"But..."
"Please! I'm begging you!" I cried.
"Why do you want to get back together with me?" she asked.
"Because..." Why did I want to get back together with her? My mom would hate it! "Because... I feel like it?"
"Some reason..." Madison sighed. "Okay. I give up."
Once we had both said goodbye, I hung up. I could barely walk straight. I collapsed onto the bed next to Chloe.
"So, what'd she say?" asked Chloe.
"We're... together again..."
Chloe and Karen began to cheer. Aggie looked annoyed. "I still say it's weird."
I heard a soft knock on the door. I walked over and opened it. It was Mom. "There's a girl who wanted to see you," she said. "She looks very familiar."
I didn't like the look on her face as she said that.
Out from behind my mom walked Madison. Madison instantly lunged on me, kissing me. I tried to push her away. My mom was right here!
Madison finally pulled away. My mom was staring at us in shock. I expected her to say something, but instead she just walked out of the room.
Chloe and Karen were smiling, but Aggie looked disgusted.
"I see you didn't lose my number," said Madison. I nodded. "That's my girl."
5. On The Front Porch
I was standing with Chloe, Aggie, and Karen, watching the boy cry. He was on the ground, his knee bleeding. I felt so bad for him. Elly, Cindy, and Joanne stood next to him, satisfied smirks on their faces. Madison stood there with a blank expression on her face.
"Cut it out!" yelled Chloe. She was so angry that I was afraid she might literally explode. Not that I could blame her. Madison's friends were bullying her boyfriend. Some friends...
Madison didn't bully people very much anymore, but you could tell she wanted to. She didn't anymore because of me. She knows that I don't appreciate the bullying.
I wished that she would say something though. Oh well. I'd do it myself. "Stop hurting him!" I said to the three annoying girls.
All of them laughed. Elly looked over at Madison. "Your girlfriend is defending him, Madison," she said. "Isn't it ridiculous?"
Madison actually looked somewhat afraid. "No..."
Cindy pulled out a pair of scissors. "We're gonna cut his hair," she declared.
"Yeah!" said Joanne, who looked overly excited.
Chloe ran over to the boy on the ground, Andy. Elly shoved her away. Cindy crouched down next to him and began to cut. Joanne was laughing.
Madison was looking angry now. "You are so not my friends anymore," she said firmly.
"So?" said Elly. "We don't need you. You've gone too soft since you started dating Casey."
"Too soft?!" yelled Madison. She charged up to the bullies and began to repeatedly slap them.
Just then, a teacher walked over. Uh-oh.
Madison had after school detention. I was upset because we had a date planned out. We wouldn't have time for that now.
Chloe was at my house, fixing up her hair. "So, how do I look?" she asked me. "Do you think he'll like it?"
I smiled. "It's perfect." Chloe waved to me as she went off to see her date. I sighed, wishing I could be on my own date now.
I was standing on the front porch when my mom walked out. "You look upset," she said. "Why?"
"Madison is in detention," I said, not looking at her. "For a long time."
"Madison?" she said. "That girl who is always flirting with you and who you're always kissing?"
I rolled my eyes. "Yes Mom, my girlfriend." My Mom still didn't approve of the relationship.
"Why is she in detention?" Mom asked.
"She hit some people," I said.
My mom winced. "I hope you won't be influenced by her bad behavior," she said.
I didn't respond. I really wished my mom would be nicer towards Madison. Whenever Madison comes to pick me up for a date, my mom glares at her. She will never accept it. That I know for sure.
My mom continued to talk. "I hope you'll get over her soon."
My eyes widened. WHAT?! "Mom," I said, as calmly as I could, "Madison and I are going to be together forever. I love her."
"No you don't," she said. "You just think you do."
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "What do you know?" I said. "You can't read my mind."
"Someday," my mom said. "You're going to marry a man, and have children. You won't be with a girl forever."
I tried to hold back my tears. "If it's grandchildren you want, I'll adopt kids," I said. "I'm going to be with Madison forever."
My mom didn't say anything for a long time. I looked over at her, and saw that she was staring down at the grass.
"Mom," I said. "It shouldn't matter that Madison is a girl. I can't help it. I'm in love with her. And nothing that you do is going to make that change."
My mom didn't speak to me for the rest of the day.
6. In A New Town
I ran to school, tears in my eyes. I raced over to Madison first thing. "Madison!" I cried.
I flung myself at Madison, wrapping my arms around her. I cried onto her shoulder. "What's wrong?" Madison asked, gently stroking my hair.
"I'm... moving..." I said, between sniffles.
Madison was clearly shocked. "So suddenly?"
"Yes," I said. "My mom... she wants me to get away from you... she thinks that it might..." I couldn't finish.
"I see..." said Madison. "Don't worry, everything will be okay in the end."
The next day, Madison brought me a small wrapped box. "Open it!" she said, smiling at me.
Curious, I opened the box. "It's... a ring?"
"Yup!" she said. "A promise ring. It means that someday, I promise I'll marry you."
Needless to say, I was overjoyed.
A week later, we were all packed. Madison stood in the front yard, and I watched her as I got into the car. I was wearing the ring she had given me. Madison sadly waved to me as we drove away.
I was crying, although my mom didn't even seem to acknowledge it. She noticed the ring on my finger. "Is this... a promise ring?" she asked.
"Yeah..."
My mom tried to pull the ring off of my finger. "No, Mom!" I cried, trying to keep her from grabbing it. She eventually grabbed it from me, and threw it out the window.
I then had a temper tantrum, like a little kid.
We finally got to the new town, where we had a cute little house with flowers and a white picket fence. Despite the way that the house looked, I was convinced that it was an evil place, and sobbed harder.
At dinner, we had steak. "You're starting school here in three days," she said. "Hopefully you'll meet some new friends, and some cute boys that you'll be interested in."
"I would hope not," I said. "Getting a boyfriend would be cheating on Madison."
"Madison and you are no longer together."
After dinner, I went up to my room and began to unpack some more of my stuff. I put a picture of Madison and I on my nightstand. That night, I kissed Madison's picture goodnight.
School was terrible. Many people in my class were mean to me, for reasons I am not aware of. I didn't make a big deal of it though. I just told myself, "Deal with it."
Basically, I figured my life couldn't get any worse.
I was wrong. It was about to get way worse.
7. At Nicole's House
One day at school, I was doing boring math when a woman came into the classroom and asked if she could please see me for a second. I nodded and got out of my seat. Why miss an opportunity to miss some class?
"Take your things," she said. "This will be a while." Yay, I'm gonna miss a lot of class!
I followed her out into the hall and we walked for quite a while, until we got to a small room. "Take a seat," she said. I plopped down in a bean bag chair.
"My name is Mrs. Lin," she said, once she was sitting in her desk. "I'm the student counselor."
I nearly died. "Wha?"
"Yes," said Mrs. Lin. "Your parents wanted you to start seeing me twice a week so that I can help you learn to be a normal person."
I really didn't like the way that sounded. "N-Normal?" I stutter too much, I know.
"Yes," said Mrs. Lin. "As you may already know, it is not normal for girls to like other girls. It just doesn't work that way. I'm going to help cure you of your bad habits."
I stood up. "No, no way," I said. "You can't make me!"
"You don't have a choice in the matter," Mrs. Lin said. "It's important to learn from past mistakes so that you can become a good person someday."
"There's nothing wrong with being a lesbian!" I shot back angrily. "It's not a mistake!"
"I'm sorry," Mrs. Lin said. "But this is for your own good, Casey."
I heard the bell ring. "Can I go now?" I asked.
"If you stay for extra time tomorrow."
"Okay," I was fine with that. I wanted to leave as soon as possible.
When I got off the school bus at the end of the day, I saw a huge truck parked next to my house. The side read, Swift Moving. A moving truck? What?
My mom was standing on the porch, looking at it. "Mom," I said. "What's with the moving truck?"
"Someone is moving into the house next to us," she said. "A mother, a father, and a girl your age."
"Can I go meet them?" I asked.
"Sure," my mom said. "I'll walk over with you."
I walked over there, a bit shyly. The presumed mom and dad were carrying boxes inside. The girl was hunched over a large box, digging through it. When she noticed us, she looked up, smiling. "Oh, are you our neighbors?" she said. "I'm Nicole, an ordinary and unsuspicious girl."
Well this girl was weird. If she was really trying to seem unsuspicious, she wouldn't have introduced herself that way... or would she? She had long dark brown hair, brown eyes, and was wearing a long-sleeved black shirt with neon hearts, and white leggings. She had black sandals on.
Actually, she was kind of hot... I couldn't help but think that. I wondered if she was single...
"Nice to meet you, Nicole," my mom said, shaking Nicole's hand. Nicole flinched a little, as if she were afraid of my mom. My mom didn't seem to notice that. "This is my daughter, Casey."
Nicole suddenly looked happy when my mom said my name. "I can introduce myself, Mom," I said.
Nicole hugged me. "I'm so glad to see you, Casey," she said. I was surprised at the hug. Usually you wouldn't hug someone you just met...
"I could help carry in some of these boxes," my mom offered.
Nicole smiled. "Thanks. There's a lot of boxes..."
My mom grabbed a large box and walked inside. As soon as my mom was gone, Nicole suddenly kissed me. I was shocked, but returned the kiss, not quite sure what to do. Once we pulled apart, I stared at her, unable to speak. Nicole smiled at me, a mischievous smile that reminded me so much of Madison.
Then the girl pulled up her shirt sleeve. On her arm, written in black marker, was Casey, it's me, Madison.
My jaw dropped. "M-Madison..." Again, I need to stop stuttering...
Nicole laughed. "Just call me Nicole."
8. In Nicole's Room
I struggled with carrying a big box into Nicole's bedroom. Nicole was carrying a much smaller box. She giggled as I finally got into the room and set it down on the floor. I stood there panting.
"It's nice to see you," Nicole said.
"Nice to see you too!" I smiled, still exhausted. I collapsed on the floor.
"Although, I'm surprised at you," Nicole went on.
I looked up at her, from my spot on the floor. She was sitting on the bed. "Why?" I asked. "Did I do something wrong?"
"You kissed me," she said.
"Well... yeah..." I said. "So what?"
"You didn't even know it was me when you did it, did you?" she went on.
I blushed a little. "Well... no... but... I just thought it would be rude to not kiss back... I mean... it's not as if I kissed you before you kissed me. I wouldn't just kiss someone besides you, without them doing it first."
Nicole crossed her arms, shaking her head. "You're so gullible. I bet someone could convince you to rob a bank."
That was probably true, though I'd never admit it. "So, what caused your family to move here?"
Nicole smiled mysteriously. "Well..." she said, stopping for a suspenseful pause. "I convinced my parents to move here because I missed you."
"And they did it?"
"Yup. They said they understood what it's like to miss someone who you love."
I sighed. "Your parents are so accepting compared to mine."
"Yeah," said Nicole. "They said that love is love and gender shouldn't be a restriction on it."
"Maybe someday," I said. "We'll live in a world where there are more homosexuals because no one is afraid to come out and nobody even understands why that would be wrong, because everyone is just so caring and kind."
"That'd be a dream," said Nicole. "I'm sorry your parents, especially your mom, are so homophobic."
I sighed. "It's not your fault. I love you." Nicole smiled. "So, you want me to call you Nicole now?"
"Yeah," she said. "I've actually always wanted that name, so I decided to use that one from now on, as my disguise name. I sure hope your mom won't find out it's me."
"You look different," I said. "You dyed your hair." Nicole's hair had originally been a very dark brown, but now it was more caramel brown. It was styled a little bit differently too.
Nicole nodded. "Yup."
"Oh, and I wanted to mention... I'm seeing the school counselor now," I said nervously.
Nicole's eyes got a little bigger. "Eh? Why?"
"Well," I said, nervously twisting the bottom edge of my shirt. "She wants to... fix me..."
Nicole's eyes got even bigger than before. "What? But there's nothing wrong with you!" She leapt up from the bed.
"I know... but she doesn't..."
Nicole sat back down on the bed, her eyes narrowed angrily. Nicole gets scary when she's angry. I decided to leave the room.
The next day at school, I walked to the student counselor's room, during second period.
I would rather be doing math.
I was almost there when I heard yelling up ahead.
It was Nicole's voice.
My heart pounding, I followed the voice into the student counselor's room.
Nicole was standing right in front of Mrs. Lin's desk, her eyes narrowed, her red face burning with anger, her hands on the desk. Mrs. Lin looked frightened, although, she seemed to calm down upon seeing me. "Oh, hello, Casey. I was just talking to this girl... Nicole, I believe... about your... issues..."
I ran down the hall, towards the bathroom. They say that running away from your problems never solves them, but at the moment, that seemed like a very logical thing to do.
9. On A Date
It took a lot of courage to walk back to the student counselor's room. Nicole was now sitting in one of the beanbag chairs, her arms crossed, angrily staring at the ground.
"Hello, Casey!" said Mrs. Lin. "Please take a seat next to Nicole." I felt like I was awaiting the death penalty. I slowly sat down in the beanbag, feeling tiny compared to Mrs. Lin, who was sitting in a tall wooden chair.
"Now," said Mrs. Lin. "Casey, is this girl your friend?"
"Yeah," I mumbled.
"You and her are quite a lot alike," Mrs. Lin went on.
"What do you mean by that?" I asked, in a very low voice.
"You both have a hard time understanding your problem, Casey."
I got angry, the way I had yesterday. "I don't have a problem, okay?!"
Mrs. Lin seemed perfectly calm. "I think Nicole may have to start seeing me too," she said.
"What?!" Nicole and I yelled at once.
Mrs. Lin nodded, still calm, barely acknowledging our screaming. "Yes, she'll definitely have to."
I sunk down into the beanbag chair. Nicole groaned loudly. Somehow I felt like this was all my fault.
Once we finally were able to leave that terrible place, the next two hours felt blurry. Before I knew it, I was at lunch, slowly chewing my sandwich. Nicole sat quietly next to me. A new friend of ours, Castle, ran over cheerfully, banging her lunch tray down on the table. Castle reminded me so much of Chloe. I sure miss her...
"Hey Casey, hey Nicole!" Castle said. I had told her this morning about Nicole moving back here. "You guys look like your houses just caught fire and killed your families!"
"It's terrible," I said.
"I have to start seeing the counselor too," said Nicole.
Castle's smile disappeared. "What? Why? Does she know about you guys... you know..."
"I don't think so," I said. "She probably wants Nicole to start seeing her because Nicole supports me, and she thinks that's wrong."
"I don't get it," said Castle. "Student counselor's are supposed to be nice, caring people who will help you."
"Life is painful."
"That sounds so sad... and it's true too!" Castle exclaimed.
"Don't worry," said Castle. "I'm going to come up with a wonderful idea that will fix everything!"
Castle is pretty good at making miracles happen, so I decided to believe her.
Nicole couldn't, though. "This is terrible!" she said, pacing back and forth in my bedroom that afternoon. "We should run away together! Like in the movies! We would live happily ever after and no one could stop us!"
"This isn't a fairytale," I said. "That's bound to backfire."
"But it would totally work! We could just pack some food and hide out in the woods somewhere where no one could find us. When we ran out of food, we could hunt wild animals to survive! It'd be so romantic and we wouldn't have to live like this!"
"Killing wild animals? Ew!"
"You wouldn't have to kill anything. I could do that. I could hunt for both of us. It'd be fun!"
"I don't think so."
Nicole was getting whiny and angry, so I decided we should get out of the house somewhere. And by out, I meant on a date. My mom was out, and I figured it was safe to go without her questioning anything.
We went to a little smoothie shop and got a strawberry smoothie with two straws. "This is much more romantic than hiding out in the woods all our lives," I convinced her.
We sat outside at a table with an umbrella. We talked and enjoyed our smoothie, then walked to the lake to see the ducks. We didn't have any bread scraps to feed them, so we just sat there by the lake.
Just then, we heard familiar voices. We sat up and saw a girl in our class, who ran over to us. "Hi!" she said. "What are you guys doing here?"
"Nothing," I said, though my whole body was shaking and I was pretty sure I was blushing too.
The girl giggled. "You guys are on a date, right?"
"No, of course not!" I exclaimed. "I would never date a girl! That would be incredibly weird!"
She just giggled again. "Nice try, Casey! I know you guys are a couple. Your blush gives it away, Casey. And I'm gonna tell everyone at school, too!"
"Please, no! I'll give you $50!" I pleaded.
The girl laughed once more as she skipped away, a smile on her face.
Once she was gone, I looked at Nicole, who looked at me. Then Nicole said, "Hey Casey, doesn't running away together sound like a very romantic and reasonable thing to do right now?"
10. In The Student Counselor's Room
I kept trying to convince Nicole that things would get better, but she didn't seem very convinced. I tried to cheer her up by giving her extra affection, but all the hugs and kisses didn't seem to make her happy for more than five seconds. This felt so hopeless.
When we went to school again, we felt several eyes on us as we walked down the hall. I kept my chin up, held Nicole's hand, and tried to appear confident. But inside, I was a wreck.
Second period, I went to Mrs. Lin's room. Nicole was reading a novel, slouched down in the beanbag chair, ignoring Mrs. Lin, who was trying to talk to her. And it wasn't even about our 'problem'. She was just trying to make friendly conversation, but Nicole clearly didn't want to hear any of it.
Mrs. Lin sighed. "Hi, Casey," she said. "Could you try to talk to Nicole? I think she's giving me the silent treatment."
I wondered if Mrs. Lin knew about 'us'. I walked over to the corner, sat down in the red beanbag, and silently stroked Nicole's hair, which Nicole seemed to have no reaction to.
"I just want to help you two," said Mrs. Lin. Oh no you don't. I chose not to say that though.
"Now," said Mrs. Lin, as she often does, before talking. "I've heard some rumors going on about you two around the school."
My hand froze. Nicole finally looked up from her book.
"You two aren't just friends, are you?" Mrs. Lin pressed.
I tried to swallow the huge lump in my throat, but it wasn't working at all. "Um..."
Nicole jumped out of the beanbag chair. "No, we aren't! We are much more than friends! And if you have a problem with that, then maybe you should just leave us alone!"
My heart pounded. There Nicole was, her temper rising again. Who ever expected I would have a temperamental girlfriend? Opposites attract, I guess.
But now our secret was out, and there was nowhere to hide. Nicole and I were out in the open, for everyone to see, to tease, to be discriminated against.
It wasn't a good feeling.
Mrs. Lin opened her mouth like she was going to say something, then closed it again. I think she was afraid of Nicole, which wasn't really too surprising honestly. Then she said, "Nicole, Casey... I'm afraid I'm going to have to call your parents. It's important that they know about this."
I freaked out. "No, no, no! Anything but that! I'll give you $50!"
Nicole gave me an odd look. "How come you always try to bribe people into keeping secrets?"
I wasn't sure how to respond, so I decided not to say anything. "Mrs. Lin, please don't do this."
My begging was absolutely pointless. Mrs. Lin had already picked up her phone, and found my phone number on my information for the school. She called my house, and waited for a parent to pick up. I hoped they wouldn't.
But then I heard Mrs. Lin say, "Hello? Is this Casey's mother? Yes. I have been working on her. Well, you see, Casey has been keeping a secret from you, her parents. Quite a big one too. She has been secretly dating a girl from school. I figured this is important for you to know. Yes, please do. Okay. Thank you. Oh yes, the girl is Nicole. Yes, that Nicole. Oh, and could you tell Nicole's mother about this? Thanks. Okay, bye." Mrs. Lin hung up then.
I was going to be dead once I got home.
11. In My Bedroom
Nicole and I rode the same bus, since we lived right next to each other, and so we were both equally panicked as we stepped off the bus together. "I don't want to die!" I shrieked. Maybe I was overreacting, but it was too hard to think realistically about anything right now.
Nicole's mom was standing on the porch, and looked almost as worried as I felt. Nicole walked up to her mom, who gave her a hug and walked with her inside. I very slowly walked up to the door, turned my key in the lock, and walked into the hall.
"Mom?"
Mom was sitting at the dining room table, her head down. "I can't believe you would do this... my own daughter... what were you thinking when you..." I think she was crying, but it was hard to tell.
"Mom," I said. "There's nothing wrong with me. I can't help who I am, okay?"
"I know you can't," my mom said. "But that doesn't make it any better, Casey."
"But Mom, it's-"
"I don't want to hear it," Mom said. "Go to your room."
"But-"
"Now."
I shot my mom a glare that she probably couldn't see with her head down, then threw my backpack on the floor and stomped up to my room, tossing myself onto the bed.
I heard a knock and looked up at my window. Nicole was knocking on her bedroom window, which was across from mine.
I stood up and walked to the window, opening it. Nicole opened hers too. "Well, you're not dead yet," she remarked.
"I might as well be," I said, groaning. "I'm as good as dead anyway."
"What do you think she'll do to you?" Nicole asked.
"I don't know," I said. "But it'll probably be worse than last time."
Nicole didn't say anything for a while. I soon noticed she was staring at my hand. "What?" I asked.
"The ring... it's..." Nicole's eyes began to fill with tears.
Understanding suddenly dawned on me. "Yes... my mom... she..."
The tears were now falling from Nicole's eyes. "I don't want to hear it, Casey. I can't stand much more of this, you know." Nicole shut the window and walked away.
Things just kept getting worse ever since my mom found out about Nicole... or, at the time, Madison. She had tolerated it at first, but I guess she soon couldn't deal with my 'unacceptable' behavior anymore. She didn't understand. She still doesn't understand. She wants me as far away as possible from Nicole.
And, I realize... she isn't going to stop trying.
"Nicole!" I yelled. "Nicole!"
It was quite a while before Nicole came to the window. "What?" she said, once she'd opened it. Before I could answer, I noticed that Nicole's eyes had widened and she was staring somewhere behind me.
Slowly, I turned around. It was my mom... should've expected that. My mom glared at Nicole. I expected Nicole to run away, but she just stood there, staring at Mom.
"Nicole," I said. I took the biggest breath I'd ever taken and said. "Nicole, I hate you! I just can't stand to be with you anymore! I don't want a girlfriend, okay?!"
At first, Nicole looked hurt, but then she slowly seemed to understand, and began to play along. "Well, I don't want to be with you either, Casey! I like boys, and only boys!" She slammed the window and walked away.
Fake breakup. One of the oldest tricks in the book.
I hoped my mom would buy it.
She did.
My mom wrapped her arms around me. "Oh, Sweetheart," she said.
Victory.
12. Epilogue
For a long time after that, Mom didn't know.
I managed to convince everyone in school that we had broken up. They didn't believe me at first, but eventually seemed to either believe me or forget about the whole thing. And then everyone moved on.
Nicole and I weren't able to go on very many dates, but our relationship remained strong.
I told Chloe about the whole thing over the phone. She still misses me, and I still miss her.
Castle had heard that Nicole and I had broken up. I explained to her that it was all just a trick and she could never tell anyone. She says I can trust her. I sure hope I can.
Nicole and I didn't stop worrying though. We were in constant fear of our secret being revealed. She says things would be so much easier if she were a boy, but I don't want that.
My mom was worried that Nicole and I would 'get back together'. I assured her that we were just going to be friends. She allowed us to hang out after that.
Obviously, I wasn't keeping that promise. In fact, when I was eighteen, I had moved out of the house, and was living with Nicole. Nicole and I agreed to tell my mom.
"She'll kill you," Nicole had said originally.
"I'll be fine," I said. "I don't live with her anymore, so it's not like she can ground me." I laughed.
However, inside, butterflies were fluttering in my stomach.
Be strong. Call her.
Nicole and I held our breath as we waited for her to pick up. "Hello?" Mom said.
I swallowed the lump in my throat. "Hi, Mom."
"It's nice to hear from you, Casey!" Mom sounded quite cheerful.
"Mom, I have something to tell you," I blurted out suddenly.
There was a silence. "...What?" Mom said finally.
"I'm... with Nicole," my hands trembled. I nearly dropped the phone.
She had to know. She needed to.
"With?"
"Living with. In my house." More silence on the other end. "I think you know what I mean."
More silence.
A horrifying silence.
"Hello? Mom?"
She'd hung up.
I looked at Nicole.
"It's okay, Casey," Nicole said. "We don't need her approval."
"She hates me, doesn't she?" I mumbled.
"Yeah... but... cheer up!" Nicole smiled. Somehow her smile didn't even look fake. And she was being honest, too.
"What is there to be happy about?" I asked.
Nicole's smile got even bigger.
Now I was curious. "What are you hiding, Nicole?"
"Oh, nothing." Nicole's hands were behind her back.
I laughed. "Let me see, let me see!"
"Fine, fine!" Nicole pulled out a small black box.
"Oh my gosh," I said.
Nicole giggled, getting down on one knee. "Um... well... wanna get married?" She opened the box.
"Yeah!" I cheered. I laughed again, this time with tears in my eyes. I took the ring from the box.
"You okay?"
"I'm crying tears of joy, silly!" I said.
"Oh!" Nicole embraced me and we kissed. Then Nicole said she was hungry and ran into the kitchen.
I was about to follow her, but then became distracted by the phone. I thought about Mom. I knew she wasn't cheering right now.
"Sorry Mom," I said, even though I knew she couldn't hear me.
"Hey, Casey!" Nicole yelled. "Where's the peanut butter?" I heard her open a cupboard. I walked into the room. Nicole was sitting on the counter. She slowly stood up, trying to reach the highest shelf.
"You're not gonna find it up there," I said.
"Then where is it? I need some peanut butter to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich!"
"I was going to make scrambled eggs for dinner," I said.
"Cool! I'll help! Forget about the peanut butter!" Nicole slammed the cupboard shut and fell off of the counter. "AHHH!"
I couldn't help but laugh. "You okay?"
Nicole nodded, and I helped her stand up.
"I feel like ham," said Nicole, pulling ham from the refrigerator.
"And I feel like a turkey," I said sarcastically.
"I didn't mean it like that! I want ham in my scrambled eggs!"
"I know what you meant!"
The End