Thump, thump, thump.
Emily delicately placed her hand to her heart, feeling the thumps as her heart pounded furiously. How long ago had it been? She stared at the clock in front of her, but all she got was blurred vision. She could barely make out the time through all the confusion going on inside her. Eight o'clock at night. Tapping her fingers lightly on her chest, she counted back. One, two. Two hours before and her heart still hadn't rested.
Having one hand still on her chest, she used the other to lean back slowly until she was lying down on her bed. Removing her hand from her unstill heart, she brushed her brown bangs from her eyes. Maybe she was hoping it would clear her mind. If she was, she was sadly mistaken.
She lifted her right hand up from the mess of bed sheets it was resting in. It was shaking as she brought it to her lips. She touched them lightly, still feeling the presence of her, the lips that had been brought to hers without warning. Emily could feel herself slipping back into the freshly made memory.
Emily knew she should have been home by then. But did she care? No, not really. She was having a good time here, hanging out with her friends on the corner, a few blocks away from their high school. They were all laughing under the streetlight, not caring that their parents were probably going to beat them down when they got home. Living for the moment. There was Rachel, Sapphire, Kim, Josh and Ana.
Ana.
For some reason, Emily couldn't take her eyes off of Ana as her smile was partially hidden under the moonlight. She just looked so…mysterious, that Emily couldn't help but…want her. She tried to flush the thoughts away with images of the boy in her lunch period whom she was fond of, but all she could think about was Ana's smile. Why?
And though she denied it, in the back of her mind, Emily knew that Ana harbored feelings for Emily. Maybe it was the way she hugged her every morning, the kind of hug where you don't want to let go, where you hold on tightly as if you're trying to transfer your love to them and make them realize you're there. Maybe it was the way Emily would catch her staring in class, even though she would always blush and look away. Maybe it was the way Ana was always so hyper and cheery and in her fit of happiness, she would blurt out something that would make Emily wonder how she really felt on the inside. Maybe it was the way that sometimes, rarely, Ana would pin Emily to the wall and stare into her eyes, and their lips would be so close, so very close, and Emily wanted to lean in and…
But no. This couldn't happen. Ana was a girl, after all. And how could Emily like a girl? Her family would never approve, right? She could just brush it off and everything would be alright once again.
Now, as they all stood around, joking with each other at the bus stop, ignoring the buses they should have been taking, Emily stood under the trees, hoping the shadows would engulf her feelings. Ana was always nearby. Not that Emil minded, but it just made her…wonder. Suddenly, Ana turned around and pinned Emily to the wall again. Lately Ana had been doing it more frequently, but she always laughed it off, and Emily knew it was just to mess with her…right? Even so, Emily found her heart pounding each and every time.
This time, though, her heart wanted to explode. She could see Ana's beautiful brown eyes, but in the moonlight she was basically a mystery. She could hear Kim laugh and shout out, "Jeez, Ana! You're going to end up raping her!"
Ana turned to Kim at the mention of her name and laughed along with the rest of the group, who seemed to be farther away from the two of them. Then, it was almost in slow-motion, the way Ana turned back to Emily, the way her smile stayed on her face as she leaned in, she leaned in and Emily didn't move, because all Emily could see was her lips, those lips that she wanted to taste so badly and
their
lips
touched.
Blinking herself back into the present time, Emily took her fingers away from her lips. Her heart was still beating fast, just by the thought of Ana's lips on hers. Could she have feelings for Ana?
Beep.
Emily sat up and looked her laptop, which was on the end of her bed. She slowly made her way over to it and saw that Ana had IMed her.
Ana: Hey!
Fingers shaking, Emily slowly typed a response.
Emily: Hi, Ann.
Ana: What's up?
Emily: Just thinking.
Ana: About what?
Emily sighed now and looked at the screen, wondering how Ana could be totally normal after the two of them had done something they'd never done before. They've crossed the line between friends, but Ana seemed to still be on first-week-of-school basis. Still, why lie to Ana?
Emily: That kiss.
Ana: Oh. I shouldn't have done that so suddenly. I'm sorry for kissing you like that.
Emily smiled as she read the words. Just reading Ana's name made her stomach flip with butterflies. So what if she was a girl? The feelings she was feeling for Ana were real, so why bother denying them?
She liked Ana a lot.
Emily: I'm not.