Amanda awoke and blinked at the bright light of morning. It took her a few moments to shake off the grogginess of sleep, so it was not until she stood and glanced out the window that she realized what was wrong.

Amanda approached the window. An ocean breeze teased her hair. A long shadow stretched into the distance as the sun rose to the east on the opposite side of the building. Waves churned softly against the beach.

She squinted at the deep azure sky. She knew what was wrong. It was well into morning and she was up first.

Amanda padded to the curtained doorway that separated her bedchamber from Sirinna's. Despite the fact that they were lovers, Sirinna felt the need to adhere to tradition, where the Trainer and Trainee slept in an arrangement similar to Mistress and slave.

She drew the curtain aside with both curiosity and concern. Sirinna was still in bed, her back to Amanda. Her sides rose and fell quickly, more so than Amanda thought they should.

"Sirinna?" Amanda called out softly. The only answer was a shift of one leg and a small moan.

Amanda stepped past the curtain, her heart thumping. If this had been anyone else in any other context, she would have said that Sirinna simply overslept. But that was something Sirinna never did. She was always up just before the dawn, often waking Amanda just before the morning sun peeked over the horizon.

As Amanda grew close, she heard Sirinna moan again. Something sounded wrong. It wasn't so much a moan as a whimper.

"Sirinna, are you okay?"

Sirinna's breathing became a shallow pant. She trembled and drew her knees closer to her body. Amanda stepped up to the bed and placed a hand on Sirinna's shoulder.

Sirinna jerked and gasped. She flipped onto her back and looked up at Amanda with wide, frightened eyes, then let out her breath in a long, relieved sigh. "Amanda ... I'm sorry ... I ... Oh my, it's late. Why didn't I wake up when ...?"

"Sirinna, is everything okay?" Amanda asked anxiously.

"Yes, I'm fine. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I was just ... well ... never mind."

Amanda looked at her lover oddly as she got out of bed. "What was it?"

Sirinna stretched and ran her fingers through her long hair to get the tangles out of it. She winced when she caught one that did not come undone as easily. "What was what?"

"What you were dreaming about."

Sirinna hesitated, then brushed her hair one last time before letting it fall against her back. She smiled faintly. "I hardly ever remember my dreams."

"But it looked like you were having one just before you woke up. It looked like a bad one, too."

Sirinna was already shaking her head. "I don't have bad dreams, love."

"I have bad dreams sometimes, even when things are going well."

"Not me. I think it may have something to do with the Draught. It prevents them somehow."

That was not something Amanda had ever considered, but it did make a certain amount of sense. If the Draught worked the way she believed it did, Sirinna would simply not have anything in her head about which to experience bad dreams.

But it seemed rather odd that Sirinna could have come to such a conclusion herself.

Amanda was unsure if she should be concerned. She hated the idea that Sirinna might be lying to her, even if it were just a misguided attempt to stop Amanda from worrying.

Sirinna smiled and stroked Amanda's hair. "Let's not talk about this anymore. It's really nothing to worry about. We should get something to eat before you head off to Master Vanlo."

Amanda gave Sirinna a weak smile and headed towards the door. Sirinna fell into step behind her, and the two of them emerged into warm sunshine.

Sirinna forced herself to hold her smile until there was a real emotion behind it. Fortunately, it did not take long. The imagery in her dream was as perplexing to her as it had been painful. Just a short span of moments from waking and understanding already eluded her. She could not comprehend why or how such pain could be inflicted upon her.

Thus, as detached from reality as it was, her dream faded from her consciousness by the time they joined the other slaves in the morning meal. Yet when she glanced at one of the older male slaves, she felt the tiniest of shivers and a momentary aversion. It passed quickly and became as forgotten as her dream was soon to be.

Roquan lifted his eyes from the parchment maps on his desk. "Enter."

Doran bustled inside. "My apologies, Roquan, Ambassador, for my lateness. I had an urgent ..."

"Ambassador Norlan is not here."

Doran glowered. "Hmph! And he had insisted on taking several of your slaves for his pleasure last night! Perhaps he does not have quite the stamina his people boast of, eh?"

Roquan leaned back in his chair. "He is not here because he has taken leave of the Manor for a few days."

"What business would he have that he would leave in the middle of these negotiations? Unless he has given up on them!"

"Nothing so dire. He is headed for the island seaport. He has business with the trading guild there."

Doran's eyebrows rose. "Does he? This is good news, Roquan, and I could use some of that about now. It means he is arranging for a trader clan to pick up the goods I offered him. He is about to accept the treaty."

"Why does he not simply wait for Uridon's clan when they arrive in less than a quarter moon?"

"Because different clans handle ocean trade and over-land trade. Or did you not stop to wonder about the origin of the name of Uridon's clan? Ne'land?"

"Ah."

Doran crossed the room. He opened a cabinet and plucked a goblet from it. "Most likely he will be engaging the services of the Ne'mysea, or perhaps the Ne'trusea, if they've recovered from what those summer storms did to their cargo fleet."

"It would seem merchant clan titles are not so much names as advertisements."

Doran grabbed a wine gourd and filled his goblet. "And you never figured this out before now? You really ought to get around more, Roquan."

"And you really ought to give up the habit of drinking in the mornings," said Roquan mildly.

Doran took a large quaff before speaking again. "When I start getting more good news like this, I will curtail my drinking."

Roquan caught the implication and sighed. "What now?"

"Before I answer that, I need you to be honest with me. Have you ever spoken to Freya or Gronnus since the Conclave? Even the most innocuous comment? Even just discussing the weather?"

Roquan stood up and frowned. "I wanted nothing to do with them then, and I most certainly want nothing to do with them now. I have exchanged nothing with either of them. I would be very happy if I never heard from either of them again."

"Well, you'll be disappointed in that regard. Freya has dropped the hammer, or at least she thinks she can."

"In what way?"

Doran took another long drink. "She is claiming she has proof."

Roquan frowned. "Proof? Of what?"

"Of everything! Of you training a Draughtless slave. Of you using her to feed information to you."

Roquan held himself erect. "And has she produced this evidence she speaks of? Has she backed up her words with proof?"

"No, nothing. Not yet."

Roquan stepped up to Doran, his eyes hard. "There is no 'not yet,' Doran, as there is no proof for her to find. Only you and Rennis know of this."

"And your Healer!" Doran declared.

Roquan's eyes became ice. "And my Healer, who I have already stated numerous times that I fully trust. So can you see any way that Freya could have even a shred of proof?"

Doran shook his head. "No, I cannot. But the confidence with which I understand she is making these accusations is worrisome."

"Surely the other Overlords are not buying into this. They would also demand proof."

"Oh, yes, they would demand it as well. But they may get annoyed enough at her that they will turn to you to offer something as counterproof so they can censure her."

"This is ludicrous. How would I even present proof that something did not happen?"

"Yes, they will realize that, too. So they will do the next best thing. A few Overlords will ask to have Amanda for a short while."

Roquan hesitated. "Have her? As in own her?"

"No, you would own her. It would be more like an extended Presenting." Doran sighed. "Roquan, it would be nothing more than an excuse for a few Overlords to help themselves to the pleasure of a D'ronstaq-trained slave! They will likely not look very hard for anything to confirm Freya's story. But the fact of the matter is that Amanda is Draughtless. You did use her to gain information. If she let any of that slip out ..."

Roquan gave Doran a stony look. "If it comes down to that, Amanda will handle herself well. I am confident of that. I have the utmost faith in her."

Doran finished the rest of the wine and set the goblet down. "It is likely a moot point anyway. If Norlan is close to agreeing to this treaty, that will set her back. You'll be on top again."

Roquan's jaw tightened. He had to stop himself from reminding Doran once more that he was not interested in being "on top."

Doran headed to the door. "I will see you later, Roquan. Good day to you."

"Good day to you as well."

Vanlo sat as still as a statue, quietly brooding.

"You're going to have to tell her eventually."

The old Healer did not reply. The only thing he did in acknowledgment was to lean forward slightly, as if his tired gaze could somehow discern a pattern in the failure.

"You really shouldn't have promised her in the first place that you could ..."

"Yes, Lanno, I am well aware of what I should have done," said Vanlo with an icy undertone to his otherwise gentle voice. He stroked his beard with one hand and turned the charred flask with the other.

"Was that the one you said you would try as a last resort?" asked Lanno. "The one with the Jonalla?"

"Yes."

"And it didn't work either."

Vanlo let out a slow sigh. "If you intend to stand there and continue to repeat the obvious, you can find somewhere else to do it."

Lanno folded his arms. "Look, I want to see this succeed, too. And not just because I fancy Amanda, either."

Vanlo looked up, his face betraying mild surprise.

Lanno frowned. "What, you think me such a monster that I would want a girl's brains scrambled just for someone's pleasure?" he asked sharply.

"No, of course not," Vanlo said in a more contrite voice. He withdrew his hand from the flask and leaned back in his seat. "Where is Amanda?"

"In the storeroom, cataloging our first aid supplies. You've been meaning to have that done for awhile."

"Please, send her to me. Then ... find something else to do."

Lanno was about to protest when he saw the depth of sadness in the old Healer's eyes. There was little of the perennial optimist left. Vanlo was not accustomed to failure.

Lanno nodded and headed away.

Vanlo stared helplessly at the apparatus. His lifetime of tremendous achievement had somehow been rendered meaningless by a single flask filled with a tarry mess of nonreactive chemicals and failed binding magic. It again raised all his doubts about his faculties.

Amanda appeared at the door. "You wanted to see me, Master?" She picked up on Vanlo's mood as well, and her eyes widened. "Is something wrong?"

Vanlo gestured for her to come inside. Amanda hesitated, as if suddenly afraid of what was in the room. Her eyes flicked over to the blackened flask as she stepped inside. "Um ... you need me to clean out another one for you?"

"Yes, but I fear that it will be the last one you will need to do for me."

Amanda's lips parted, then closed again. She looked away for a moment.

Vanlo's heart twisted "I am sorry, Amanda."

Tears threatened to well up in her eyes. She closed her eyes tightly until the feeling passed. Vanlo deserved more than to see her fall apart. "So there's no way to do it," she finally said in a shaky voice. "No way to reverse the effect at all. On anyone."

"I have committed a grievous sin with you, Amanda," said Vanlo. He stood and placed a hand on Amanda's shoulder. "And I would not blame you if you hated me for it."

Amanda looked up, her eyes glistening. Her tightening throat would allow no words to come forth. She sought strength but came up short.

"I led you on. I let you believe that it could be reversed in someone already Draughted. Even if I had found the right formula, it would work only on those that had not yet had the Draught."

"Wh-why not?" Amanda demanded. She forced herself to pause. Stop it. I'm not allowed to be a child anymore. When she spoke again, her voice was more calm but quavered no less. "Why not, Master?"

"The Draught erases memories, Amanda. They are gone. One cannot bring back something that has been destroyed. Thus it stands to reason that the degradation of intelligence is also permanent. I should have made that clear from the start. That was my fault."

Amanda was suddenly struck by a memory. Something Tanyee had said to her back when Amanda was first becoming acquainted with this world, when Amanda had brought up the subject of the Draught.

Sometimes I have dreams. Small snippets of peoples and places I've never seen before, yet they seem familiar. I wonder sometimes if they are from my past.

And there was Sirinna. If she really had lied and actually had a bad dream, something that the Draught was supposed to prevent ...

"So this was, in effect, an exercise in futility. Even if I had managed ..."

"What if the Draught didn't erase memories, Master?" Amanda said suddenly. "What if it only blocked them?"

Vanlo paused. "That is not what I have been told of the Draught's function," he said cautiously.

"But what if that was wrong?"

"Realize, Amanda, that this formula has been used by the Overlords for many, many years ..."

"What if they were wrong?"

Vanlo stroked his beard. "Then there are the Healer Elders, who conceived of the basic formula. It is they who have indicated that all the functions of ..."

"What if they were wrong?"

Vanlo was silent for a long moment. "If they are wrong, then ... then the solution would call for an approach entirely different from what I have been doing ..."

His voice trailed off. He had just put to words to the feeling that had crept over him since he started this endeavor. He had felt like he was on the wrong path, but he had no alternative.

He looked back to the apparatus, his face filled with wonder. "A belief handed down for two centuries concerning the way behavioral herbs work. Accepted without question. Taught to every new Apprentice. And it could be utterly wrong. What an intriguing thought!"

Amanda's heart leapt. "Could that be it, Master? If the Draught really did just block memories, then you can unblock them, right? Which means the effect on intelligence can be reversed, too, if it's just another kind of blockage!"

Vanlo stared at the apparatus for what seemed an eternity before giving a single, determined nod of his head.

He swept the tarred flask from the table and presented it to Amanda, moving like someone half his age. "Please set to work on cleaning this, Amanda, I will need all my equipment in proper working order if I am to continue my work."

Amanda beamed and grabbed the flask. "Right away, Master!"

"And send Lanno in here immediately!" Vanlo ordered as she scampered out of the room.

Vanlo looked over the assembled bags of herbs on the table. He shook his head, clicking his tongue. "No, no, no, these are all wrong. They will not combine right if the basic underlying assumption is wrong. What is taking that boy so long?"

"That 'boy' is right here," Lanno said sourly from the door. "What is it?"

Vanlo looked up and pointed. "Take these herbs away. Bring me Tirrassa, Jyrlla, and Writroth instead."

Lanno blinked. "Huh?"

"Really, Lanno, do I need to repeat every order to you?"

"It's just ... what do those have to do with ...?"

"Now, who is performing this experiment here? Who is the teacher, you or me?"

"You have another angle to pursue? You figured something out?"

Vanlo sighed in impatience, but then slowly smiled. "If this works, we will have Amanda to thank for it. Now, get to work, so I can get to work."

Lanno nodded and quickly picked up the bags of herbs before heading off to the storeroom.

He didn't understand what was happening, or why Amanda was wearing the biggest smile he had ever seen on her. All he knew was that Vanlo's fire had returned, and when that happened, things tended to bode well indeed.

The carriage rattled along the rutted road just south of the wharf, winding its way into the burnt embers of dusk. When the carriage shuddered to a stop at a bend in the road, it was greeted with a cacophony of seagull cries rising from the shallows near the base of the pier. Sea spray salted the air as foam boiled up to the top of the low cliff.

Ambassador Norlan stepped from the carriage. The moist ocean breeze tore at his hair and cloak. He grabbed the edge of the latter and drew it around him, waving to the driver with his free hand. A snap of the reins and the carriage trundled off, tipping drunkenly as it negotiated a pitted turn.

Norlan turned towards the small shack at the edge of the cliff. A narrow path in far better shape than the road wound out of sight towards the piers. As he approached, the din of conversation and raucous laughter pounded at his ears as hard the surf.

The Ambassador allowed himself a small smile as he entered the crowded tavern. The air was thick with the smell of ale, the sea, and sailing merchant men. It was not the kind of crowd a Urisi aristocrat would normally find himself. Nor could such a typical aristocrat help but stick out like sore thumb.

Norlan looked around. Almost to the last, each man sported a full beard. It was a common cultural staple of seafaring merchant clans, not just in Oceanus. The reason for the tradition was lost to time. Ask four different clans and get four different answers. But all of them told the same refrain, the same saying passed down through generations: "We are all brothers in the beard."

Norlan rubbed as his own modest beard with confidence. No one would bother looking twice at him, despite his more upscale attire.

He approached the bar. The barkeep, a stocky, barrel-chested man, ambled over to him. "What's yer pleasure?" he boomed.

"Information," said Norlan.

The man smirked. "Real high-roller, huh? What kinda infermation are ya lookin' fer?

"The local Overlord had a Tradesman. I need to contact someone that knows anything about him."

The barkeep looked thoughtful. "Huh. Normally, these fellers don't go that far inland to the Manor. Ya need a land-clan fer that."

"Merchant clans always mix with other merchant clans," Norlan said, keeping his gaze steady. "They exchange information as well as goods. Information is goods to them."

"Huh. Mebbe."

"So perhaps you know of a clan here that has some information from the land."

The barkeep rubbed his chin. "Huh. Dunno. Lots of clans come through here, y'know? Any one of 'em could have what yer lookin' for. Hard to say which one."

"Surely you have some idea, though."

The barkeep shrugged.

Norlan slowly smiled. "Or perhaps your memory needs some jogging?"

He reached into his cloak and returned with a closed fist. The barkeep watched intently. Norlan set his closed fist on the counter, opened it, and withdrew. The platinum barely glinted in the light before it was swept into the barkeep's hand.

"Huh, yeah, y'know, now that ya mention it, I think I know who can help."

"Very kind of you, thank you."

"Order up a drink and sit yerself down. Ya might hafta wait a bit."

Norlan nodded once. He ordered some wine and staked out a table in a far corner.

Soft pants of slowly rising pleasure passed through Sirinna's open lips. Her head lay to one side, her eyes closed, her body limp in total submission. The only movement other than the rapid rise and fall of her breasts was a quiver in her spread thighs.

She let her breath go as a shuddering sigh as Amanda's fingers slid over milky flesh. Amanda's tongue swirled about Sirinna's womanhood, folds virtually steaming from the intensity of her arousal.

Amanda showed no desire to hurry. Her strokes were casual and teasing, barely probing. She would lap at her lover's nub until a moan escaped Sirinna's lips, only to ease back and revert to little flicks of her tongue.

Amanda loved seeing Sirinna like this. It was not submission in the sense that a slave was submissive to a Mistress. Slave submission was not passive. It actively sought to maximize the pleasure of her partner.

Instead, Sirinna simply let herself enjoy the pleasure for herself. It had taken Amanda time and much gentle coaxing to get Sirinna to this point. It was reassuring for Amanda. It proved the depth of Sirinna's feelings for her.

Sirinna's moans became more urgent. Amanda obliged, pressing her mouth to her lover's sex. Sirinna gasped as her womanhood was gently sucked into Amanda's mouth. Her fingers curled into the furs as her pleasure mounted. Her head tilted back as she drew close.

Amanda held her there for another moment, listening to Sirinna's soft whimpers of need. She felt Sirinna's thighs clench under her hands. She sucked hard, and lashed with her tongue. Sirinna uttered a cry as she crested.

Amanda finally eased off. Sirinna gasped for breath, a delightful after-ache growing in her sex. As Amanda slid over her, Sirinna eagerly accepted and embraced her lover. They kissed, Sirinna eagerly tasting her own sex on Amanda's lips.

They broke off the kiss. Amanda settled into the furs at her lover's side, lips curling into a soft, contented smile. Sirinna slowly stroked her hair.

"You haven't let me do you yet, love," Sirinna said.

"I know. I'd rather just snuggle."

"Are you sure? I don't want to deprive you."

Amanda draped her arm around Sirinna and gave her a gentle squeeze. "It's okay, you're not. Being with you is more important right now."

Sirinna did not quite understand completely, but she let it go. Amanda was happy, and that's all that mattered. In fact, she seemed happier than she had been for some time.

She hoped it would continue. Amanda's emotions seemed to change daily. Sometimes she would seem melancholy, sometimes troubled, sometimes subdued, sometimes distracted. And sometimes she would just be herself. It was confusing enough to Sirinna that she did not even know how to broach it with Amanda. She did not really have words for half the emotions she was seeing.

"Sirinna, could I ask you a question?" Amanda said.

"Of course you can, love."

"It's kind of an odd question, though. I'm not even sure you could answer it."

Sirinna smiled. "I'll do my best. What is it?"

"Well ... I was wondering ... what would you do if someone said you could get your memories back?"

Sirinna paused. "Memories? What memories?"

"Of your life before you had the Draught. Before you came to Narlass."

"All I remember is of Narlass, love. I awoke in Master Rennis' care."

"Yes, I know. I'm talking about before that. When you were still on your homeworld."

Sirinna's gaze became distant. She shook her head. "I've never really thought about it."

Amanda raised her head. "Are you sure? I mean, weren't you ever curious about it?"

Sirinna shook her head again. "I suppose sometimes I am, but it really doesn't matter. This is my life and has always been."

Amanda gave Sirinna an odd look.

"What is it?" asked Sirinna.

"You, just now. You shook your head when I asked you ..."

Sirinna smiled. "No, I didn't."

"I was sure you did."

"I was agreeing with you. I do sometimes wonder about it, but not for very long, and only when I'm not thinking of anything else."

Amanda nodded slowly. She was still sure she had seen Sirinna shake her head, but she let it pass.

Sirinna caressed Amanda's cheek. "So what made you ask that of me?"

"Oh, um, I don't know, it just came to me, I guess. I asked something like that of Tanyee once."

"And what did she say?"

Amanda wondered if it would be a good idea to reveal what Tanyee had really said. She didn't have any logical reason for her reluctance. It was more a gut feeling than anything else.

"Um, pretty much the same as you. Only thought about it now and then, but didn't seem important to her."

"I don't think you're going to get much more of an answer than that, love, from anyone."

Amanda gave Sirinna a weak smile. "You're probably right."

"Here, come closer to me."

Amanda let Sirinna draw her in. She closed her eyes and let out a sigh that was both contented and troubled. She wished she could tell Sirinna about Vanlo's project. It was not so much being sworn to secrecy as it was the fact that Sirinna would just not understand.

Amanda was sure that if Sirinna could remember her own past, it would make her more interested in Amanda's past. Sirinna never thought to ask Amanda more details beyond what she had already learned during her short time on Earth.

But would Sirinna repeat the same pattern as Amanda had? Would she begin to mourn the loss of what she had? Or what she could have been? Perhaps Vanlo could just restore Sirinna's intelligence, and let her make the decision.

Amanda relaxed. Yes, that was the best solution. She would make a note to talk to Vanlo about that at some point.

For the first time in a long while, she felt a renewed sense of hope for the future.

Norlan did indeed wind up waiting. He remained patient. Contacts like this almost always came through. It was not in their best interest to renege, especially when a "fee" had been paid in advance.

Well into the evening, after Norlan had drained about two-thirds of his wine, a slim man with only a scant beard and a bit of a bowlegged walk suddenly appeared in the seat across from him.

"You the foreign fella that wanna know some info?"

Norlan set down his goblet. "Yes. I am Lord Ambassador Norlan. To whom do I have the pleasure of ...?"

The slim man shook his head. "You don't get no name if you wanna know about who I think you wanna know about."

"If that person is named 'Jollis', then yes, I want to know everything you can tell me about him."

The slim man blew out his lips and sighed. "Hellfire ... all right ... pay up, first."

Norlan reached into his cloak. This time he was more nonchalant about it. Deals at the tables were not covered up. In fact, it was looked upon as very suspicious if one did. He tossed a small cloth bag onto the table. Platinum clinked plentifully.

The slim man grabbed it and yanked it open. He peered inside. "Generous."

"In hopes that you will be as well."

The merchant made the bag disappear.

Norlan tilted his head. "You're not with a sea clan, are you?"

He shook his head. "Ne'land. The land-clan. The first and oldest." He pointed to his beard. "Just fer show. To deal with these sea folks better."

"So your information must also be very good indeed."

The man smirked. "Heh, good one. Okay, yeah, I know about Jollis. Traveled with our clan for a bit the last time we came to the D'ronstaq Manor. Then he stayed on at the Manor."

"As Tradesman?"

"Yeah, I heard that's what he did after we left 'im. Seemed to impress the Overlord. And Uridon. Only Herdon didn't like him."

"Herdon? Where have I heard that name before?"

The man's expression grew dark. "I can't talk much about him. Uridon'll have my hide if he knew I mentioned it. He tried to kill the Overlord. Got himself killed for it instead."

Norlan was most intrigued. The Urisi court had heard rumors to the effect that an Overlord had nearly been assassinated during their last Conclave. He wanted to know a lot more, but he decided to respect the man's claim. It was a tangent, and not relevant to his task at hand.

"Going back to Jollis, then," Norlan said. "Anything else you can tell me? He is a foreign merchant, right?"

"Yeah. From the west, he said. Hellfire, it was like he could work gods-damned miracles. Uridon swore he was somehow making goods outta thin air. Never thought he'd hafta compete against an indie."

"Indie? Independent merchant? No clan affiliation at all?"

"Nah, none."

Norlan considered. "This fellow seems to have fallen out of favor with Roquan. Know anything about that?"

The slim man shook his head. "Nah, nothing. But not surprising. Heard he's been seen on the mainland. Up north somewhere. So I guess the Overlord did cut 'im loose."

"But you don't know exactly where he is?"

"Nah. Not sure anyone does. I heard he's like a shadow. His partners are kinda creepy, too. Robes and hoods. Nothing like what merchants should wear, you know?"

Norlan rubbed his beard thoughtfully.

The slim man glanced around. "Hey, I gotta go. Ya need anything else?"

"Just one more question. Is he working for anyone else now?"

"Nah, no ... wait, mebbe ... might be with another Overlord."

"Which one?"

"Dunno."

Norlan nodded. "All right, I think that's all I have for you. Thank you, you've been most helpful."

The slim man smiled, let off a small salute as he stood, and melted into the crowd.

Amanda's eyes opened into the silver-tinged darkness, and she sat up in bed with a puzzled look on her face.

Faint light from a partial phase moon trickled in through the window. The curtain across the doorway to Sirinna's chamber was undisturbed, and not a sound emanated from beyond it.

Amanda pulled back the furs and swung her legs over the side of the bed. She was reminded too much of Yarra and the nocturnal visit that had given her false hope. Her gaze lingering for a few moments before she finally stood and padded over to the doorway.

She tentatively parted the curtain. Sirinna was still lay in peaceful sleep.

It came to her again, the sense that someone was calling her name from far away, but somehow whispering directly in her ear. It took another moment for her to realize she was being Farviewed.

By Jollis.

Amanda's heart lurched, and she uttered a short, frustrated sigh. She had managed not to think about him for a good span of days, and she was feeling upbeat from Vanlo's newly-found inspiration. Now she had to deal with this again.

She had wanted closure, yet now that she had the chance, the prospect frightened her. She was forced into the role of an adult once more. There was no option to cry to someone about a shattered relationship.

Amanda fidgeted as the summons came again. She didn't feel up to it despite the maturity she was forcing upon herself. She quietly crossed Sirinna's chamber and eased herself out the door and into the night.

The cool air prickled her skin. The torches lighted to guide her way. She glanced back at her quarters before advancing down the path far enough so that she could no longer see the building.

Amanda took a deep breath and said with a confidence she did not really feel, "I accept the summons."

The image of Jollis immediately shimmered into form before her. He offered a subdued smile. "Hello, dear one. It has been a long time."

Amanda opened her mouth and closed it again. She had no idea what to say. She had plenty of ideas of what she wanted to talk about, but no clue as to how to give them voice or which one to address first.

"I am sorry I waited so long to talk to you again," Jollis continued into the awkward silence. "You deserved more than that."

Amanda felt a sudden swell of indignation. Who was he to claim what she did or did not deserve? It was a petty point to be sure, but her mind wanted to latch onto something to hate, since her heart was refusing to let her dwell on the Overlord's accusation.

When she spoke, her voice was taut. "So what prompted you to Farview me, Master Jollis?"

Jollis was dismayed by the formal tone, but it came as no surprise. His eyes clouded. "It is said that both the fool and the wise man will eventually confront his mortality. The fool will carry on, while the wise man will reflect."

Amanda's teeth clenched. She wanted insight, and he gave her a platitude. She was not seeing the implication of his statement, as tumultuous as her emotions were at that moment.

"I should not have gone so long without speaking with you. I beg forgiveness."

"Is that it?" Amanda demanded in a quavering voice. "Is that all you have to say to me? Is that all you're ... that you're sorry for?"

Jollis' eyes seemed to glimmer. "I am sorry to be away, precious one. It pains me. I hold you more dear than perhaps you ..."

"Do you know what you're being accused of?" Amanda said, her voice rising. She trembled and her hands clenched and unclenched at her sides.

Jollis was silent for a long moment. "Yes, I do."

Amanda bit her lip. He was going to force her to ask him. She burned with hatred and guilt. "Did you do it? Did you really try to hurt Master Vanlo?"

"It was never my intent to harm him, Amanda. I bear him no ill will whatsoever."

Amanda's eyes glistened. "S-so you're saying you did it? You really gave him that potion to mess with his head?"

"Yes. I am terribly sorry, dear one."

"Sorry for what?" Amanda shouted. "Sorry that Master Roquan found out? Sorry that I found out? Sorry that you couldn't keep on fooling me?"

Jollis forced himself into a state of calm. His eyes remained steady despite the shimmer of regret and sadness in them. "It is not like that, dear one. If I could explain to you why I did as I did and have you understand, I would, but ..."

Amanda's eyes blurred. "I don't care! It doesn't matter. He's never harmed anyone in his life, and you ... a-and you j-just ..."

Her throat closed up. Tears streamed down her face.

Jollis took a slow breath. He felt a horrible ache in his chest. Yet he was sure that his Master would approve. This was a severing of the ties that had been so wrong in the first place. It broke the attachment. Or so he believed.

"I understand," Jollis said quietly. "I will cease to burden you any further. I will not contact you again. I ..."

Amanda's shook her fists at the Farview image. "No! You don't get to decide! I let you play with my feelings enough! It's my decision! Not yours!"

Jollis desperately wanted to protest. He wanted to implore of her not to think his words hollow or his feelings for her false. He did love her, and wished she could understand.

But if she did understand and accept what he had done, she would no longer be Amanda. She would not be the person he had loved in the first place, or the person that was needed to bring the Inonni plans to fruition. And still he would use her in that manner! The pain would not stop. Jollis folded his hands before him and silently awaited Amanda's judgment.

Amanda hesitated, confused. Having him stand their docile and compliant was worse than having him debate her.

She actually wanted an argument. She wanted a screaming match. That was what lovers at odds with each other were supposed to do. He wasn't supposed to just submit to her wrath. When two people started yelling at each other, neither side was required to act mature.

Amanda unclenched her fists. She wiped her eyes. "I can't do this anymore, Jollis," she said in a lower voice. "We'll never be able to see each other in person again. I can't do this over Farview anymore. Not ... not argue with you, or l-love you, or even hate you. I can't feel anything towards a stupid image that I can put my hand through!"

Jollis tilted his head slightly. It was not quite what he had expected of her.

Some of the ache eased. Her words implied that she had returned the love that he had felt for her. It was short lived, for reality crashed down upon it when he fully comprehended her words. It was not so much his deeds as the distance between them. He was a phantom to her now. A shadow. She could not hug or hit a mist.

"Yes, I understand, and I wish it could be different," said Jollis in a heavy voice. "Even if it were for you to tell me to leave your life forever."

Tears threatened to well up in Amanda's eyes again. She was not strong enough to tell him any such thing. She feared she would let him convince her that all was good and right, or at least allow her to fool herself into thinking such a thing.

Perhaps Sirinna had been right all along, that it was best if Jollis had never contacted her again.

What is the mature thing to do? she asked herself. What would an adult do?

She thought that an adult would insist that this be done in person instead. Or was she looking for any excuse to allow him back into her life? It was a moot point. He couldn't come back. Master Roquan would never allow it.

It served a purpose, though. It put the onus back on him. Now it would be his fault if nothing further happened. She was absolved.

"If we can't be together in person, we can't be together over Farview," Amanda said, her voice quavering but even in tone. "That's all there is to it. I won't do this anymore over Farview. It's as good as you being far away from me. Don't make this so hard for me anymore."

"I understand. I will burden you no further."

Amanda just nodded. She did not trust her voice. It was already taking everything she had to hold back the tears again. She sniffled once.

As if realizing that each moment he stretched out the Farview was that much more pain, his only remaining words were, "Goodbye, dear one. I will miss you."

His hand moved. His image faded and was gone.

Amanda stood for a long moment, staring into the space where the image of Jollis had hovered.

She had what she wanted. She finally had closure with Jollis. It was done. She could move on. Yet she could not explain why she suddenly felt so empty inside, as if it were a Pyhrric victory.

She turned away and started back towards her quarters. At the fork at the top of the rise, she paused. She instead turned down the path leading to the beach. The lights faded behind her as darkness swallowed her.

Waves crashed against the beach and filled the air with invisible spray. Amanda breathed in the briny moisture and tasted the salty tang on her tongue. She sat down heavily and looked up at the stars again.

It struck her with a force that made the heavenly vault blur into a watery veil. She was a fifteen year old girl. Nothing more. Nothing magical. Nothing important.

She lowered her gaze. She wrapped her arms tightly around her knees and wept softly, her sobs drowned out by the pounding surf.

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